0:00

Gretchen we always on this podcast

0:02

talk about the importance of getting

0:04

good sleep and part of good

0:06

sleep is a great pillow there

0:09

are side sleepers back sleepers even

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starfishes I'm a side sleeper and

0:13

Gretchen I got a pillow from

0:16

coop sleep goods that is so

0:18

perfect for me I went from

0:20

using like two pillows together that

0:23

were not quite right to using

0:25

my one coop pillow which is

0:27

perfect I love it Visit Coop

0:30

Sleep goods.com/happier to get

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20% off your

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first order. That's

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C-O-O-P, sleepgoods.com slash

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happier. Lemonada. I'm

0:41

Gresham Rubin and this

0:43

is a little happier. As

0:45

I've mentioned, my new book,

0:48

Secrets of Adulthood, is hitting

0:50

the shelves. For years, I've

0:52

been writing aphorisms, that is,

0:54

short, concise statements that convey

0:56

larger truths. I have a

0:59

giant trove, so it took

1:01

a lot of adding, subtracting,

1:03

and polishing to assemble the

1:05

very best ones to include

1:07

in my new book. There, I

1:09

included only my most interesting insights

1:11

that were useful in guiding us

1:14

through life. I weeded out any

1:16

aphorism that was a mere observation,

1:18

such as, the tulip is an

1:20

empty flower. or the periodic table

1:23

of the elements is an ingredient

1:25

list of the universe, or bread

1:27

makes food seem clean. I also

1:29

omitted my large set of

1:32

bleak aphorisms, which make for

1:34

quite discouraging reading. And

1:36

I also admitted a lot

1:38

of material I gathered that

1:40

didn't fit into the secrets

1:42

of adulthood framework. For instance,

1:44

I have a huge collection

1:47

of proverbs of the professions.

1:49

I love proverbs of the

1:51

professions. I have collections of

1:53

jokes that are actually teaching

1:55

stories. I have a manifesto

1:57

for creativity. One list I wrote as

1:59

part... of my work for Secrets

2:02

of Adulthood, that I ended

2:04

up leaving out, was a

2:06

list of statements I wrote

2:08

inspired by the traditional proverb,

2:11

no receiver, no thief. If

2:13

you don't know, a receiver

2:15

is a person who knowingly

2:17

buys stolen goods in order

2:20

to sell them later for

2:22

a profit. The receiver is

2:24

the fence, the middleman, between

2:26

thieves and buyers. I found

2:29

that proverb, no receiver, no

2:31

thief, extremely thought-provoking. If no

2:33

one creates a market for

2:35

stolen goods, then many people

2:38

won't become thieves. The person

2:40

who knowingly buys a stolen

2:42

item is part of the

2:44

crime, just as the thief

2:47

is. And if we want

2:49

to discourage crime, we can

2:51

focus on the thief, and

2:53

we can also focus on

2:56

the receiver. I was captivated

2:58

by this brief suggested structure.

3:00

No X, no Y. So

3:02

I started making my own

3:05

list. Some make the kind

3:07

of point that no receiver,

3:09

no thief makes, but as

3:11

you'll hear, that structure also

3:14

permits a writer to make

3:16

different points as well. Here

3:18

are just a few, I

3:20

wrote in response. You might

3:23

disagree with some of them.

3:25

That's part of the fun

3:27

of the structure. They inspire

3:29

debate. In fact, with a

3:32

few of these, I'm still

3:34

not sure whether I agree

3:36

with what I wrote. But

3:38

I love pondering them. No

3:41

endings. No beginnings. No beginnings.

3:43

No beginnings. No clear problem,

3:45

no clear solution. More danger

3:48

for the performers, more enjoyment

3:50

for the spectators. That is

3:52

unfortunate, but does seem to

3:54

be true. No garden, no

3:57

weeds, no predictability, no surprise.

3:59

To me, this explains why

4:01

art based on randomness or

4:03

arbitrariness becomes boring. No blasphemy.

4:06

No fields. No famine. This

4:08

isn't exactly historically true, but

4:10

it is more true. than

4:12

you might suppose. No expectations,

4:15

no disappointment. No followers, no

4:17

leader, no followers. No love,

4:19

no loss. That's an important

4:21

aspect of Buddhist teaching. No

4:24

crowds, no masterpiece, no intention,

4:26

no sacrifice. No No

4:28

Hitler, no Churchill. Churchill played

4:31

an enormous role in British

4:33

government throughout his life, but

4:35

if he hadn't served as

4:38

Prime Minister during the Second

4:40

World War, it seems highly

4:43

unlikely that he would now

4:45

still be remembered throughout the

4:48

world, as he is. Hitler

4:50

himself made that observation in

4:52

a broadcast he made on

4:55

January 30th, 1942, when he

4:57

observed. But had this war

5:00

not come, Who would speak

5:02

of Churchill? No Plato, no

5:04

Socrates. Almost everything we know

5:07

about Socrates' works comes through

5:09

Plato. So if Plato hadn't

5:12

preserved it, we wouldn't know

5:14

about it. More friends, more

5:16

safety. Bigger lawn, more mowing.

5:19

More highways, more traffic. I'll

5:21

post a link in the

5:24

show notes to the little

5:26

happier I did about Robert

5:28

Moses and induced demand. That's

5:31

more highways, more traffic. More

5:33

trains, more train wrecks. More

5:36

opportunity, more temptation. Here's a

5:38

surprising one from Los Angeles.

5:40

More subways, more drownings. In

5:43

Los Angeles, after the subway

5:45

allowed more people to reach

5:48

the beach, the numbers of

5:50

drowning shot up. More learning.

5:52

more curiosity. Brighter candle, darker

5:55

shadow. It's a thought-provoking fun

5:57

structure. Try it

6:00

for yourself. I'm

6:02

Gretchen Ribbon and I

6:04

hope this makes your week

6:06

a little happier. this makes your

6:09

week a little happier. From the From

6:11

the Onward Project