0:06

You

0:10

motherfakers,

0:15

you

0:19

motherfakers.

0:24

Is

0:28

this

0:32

man? I have diarrhea just ripping

0:35

through my body right now. You're

0:37

not listening to me about the

0:39

sillium. You guys all got a

0:41

start taking fucking fiber powder. Look,

0:44

dude, it's unbelievable. It's completely

0:46

changed my life. I don't,

0:48

my shits, my shits, my shits,

0:50

my shits, they're completely changed my

0:52

life. I don't, my shits, they're,

0:54

my shits, they're fully change your

0:56

fucking life. It's not a pill.

0:58

It's not a pill, it's a

1:00

pill by the... Your boyfriends come

1:02

in your body. Well, of course,

1:04

I need to get rid of

1:06

that, too. I shit it out

1:08

quicker. What if a Chihuahua was driving

1:11

a telly, right? That's all

1:13

food. What if a Chihuahua

1:15

took Sillium us? What if

1:17

a Chihuahua did that? Dude.

1:19

Dude. That'd be Chihuahua did

1:21

that. Dude. Dude, that'd be

1:23

crazy. You probably had better. I'll

1:25

avoid it at all cost. Thanks for

1:27

the warning. How was your week Joseph you

1:29

fucking had a wild start you went on

1:31

a fucking Tuesday You were planning a back

1:34

alley poker game all night with hookers and

1:36

all sorts of shit my buddy Raymond Staxo

1:38

used to play poker with all the time

1:40

back before like Or like kind of like

1:42

right when the pandemic started He always tries

1:44

to get me to go to poker games,

1:46

so he's always inviting me to like the

1:48

hustler and commerce and stuff to play poker,

1:50

and I just always, I'm like, no, I

1:53

don't think so. And then he's been telling me,

1:55

there's this game in the arts district where you

1:57

live, or so very closely, I can't say

1:59

exactly where because... it's of course it's an

2:01

underground illegal game but so on Tuesday he

2:03

hit me up and goes like hey you

2:05

know that game I've been telling you about

2:08

well here I finally got like the address

2:10

and the invite for you and stuff so

2:12

I was like all right I kind of

2:14

have to go and turns out he couldn't

2:16

even go because he's doing jjitsu or something

2:18

at the exact same time three in the

2:20

morning no no the game started at eight

2:23

okay what times you get there like eight

2:25

30 oh my god Yeah. You feel like

2:27

a loser? Were you like, I'm just here

2:29

for the for the illegal poker game?

2:31

So here I actually didn't. It was

2:33

just like kind of awkward. So I got

2:36

there, I'm walking down this like alley in

2:38

sort of an area with no open businesses

2:40

and it's just a dark alley and there's

2:42

a black dude sitting on the curb smoking

2:45

a sig and I'm like, oh, it's a

2:47

guy who's going to rob me because he

2:49

knows there's a poker game here and he

2:51

knows people walking off, have a bunch of

2:53

cash from them probably. So here we go

2:56

and then like I walk by and I

2:58

realize like oh I passed the place on

3:00

the map where it is so I turn

3:02

back around Blackford stands up and he's like

3:05

oh you're here for the poker game and

3:07

I'm like yeah I am so he was

3:09

like a guard or like he was like

3:11

kind of like out there meant to escort

3:14

people in that are lost. So then he

3:16

walks me through a metal cage like inside

3:18

there's another black guard but he's decked out.

3:20

in like full like Rainbow Six body armor

3:23

and he has a gun and he's standing

3:25

with a white guy that has a pit

3:27

bull and they're like hey who you're here

3:29

for and I say the guy's name who

3:32

I invited me and he goes all

3:34

right come down so I enter

3:36

this like warehouse that they rented

3:38

go down a long flight of

3:40

stairs and inside It looks like

3:42

the headquarters from the Nazis breaking

3:44

bad. So there's a pool table,

3:47

there's a bar, there is like

3:49

a legit poker table and stuff.

3:51

And the game hasn't started yet

3:53

because they did a decoy time

3:55

like Connor's comedy shows where they

3:57

kind of just like let people.

4:00

people pour in so I walk

4:02

in and there's just like

4:04

waitresses that are clearly hookers

4:06

and a bunch of dudes

4:08

that are semi-scatchy looking. Gavin

4:10

News, I was playing like

4:12

rush and relax. But so

4:14

I come in and I'm

4:16

just like I find the

4:19

guy that invited me or

4:21

the guy who runs the

4:23

game that my buddy Ray

4:25

connected me with. And I was

4:27

just like, okay, blah, blah, blah. I, uh,

4:29

Venmoed him money for the chips and stuff,

4:31

because I didn't have cash. What was the

4:33

buying? So you could buy him for whatever

4:35

you want, and I bought him for

4:38

300 bucks. Nice. And then, the dude

4:40

sitting down, everybody eventually came, we started

4:42

playing, dudes, probably, like, at the most,

4:45

with like, 5,000 bucks. And we

4:47

started playing it was just quite

4:49

awkward. It was sort of just

4:51

like if you are a man

4:53

with any degenerate tendencies whatsoever It

4:56

was kind of like this is

4:58

heaven for you Yeah, because you're

5:00

sitting down playing poker the waitresses are

5:02

bringing you free drinks as much as

5:04

you want they come back constantly and

5:07

they also will massage you and they

5:09

also will massage you and the And

5:11

I'm like, I can't. So this guy's

5:13

holding their car, just getting jacket. Yeah.

5:15

No, there was, there was. He's like,

5:17

hey, the moustache by the way. Joe's

5:19

like, no further question. He gets naked.

5:21

He lays on the table. But yeah,

5:23

so there was dudes just sitting there

5:25

while playing poker. There was a lady

5:28

standing behind them, massaging them. And then

5:30

occasionally, one of them would stand up,

5:32

and there was like a little back

5:34

room that you could like with a

5:36

door that you could close, like with

5:38

a door that you could close. And

5:40

they disappear into there. and then walk

5:42

out like whatever 45. So they're getting

5:44

sucked off in between. Yeah, they were

5:46

getting sucked off almost definitely. Maybe they're

5:48

doing dinner at the Y. I don't

5:50

know. Might have been a dady situation.

5:52

Or are they paid extra for Greek?

5:54

Could have been a meditation center. Who

5:56

knows? It could have also been an

5:58

M. Sog situation. I don't know, I

6:01

forget what it means, but I remember

6:03

seeing it back in the old days.

6:05

M-Sage, you know what I'm talking about,

6:07

Johnny? What does M-S-O-G mean? Multiple shots

6:09

on gold. Multiple shots on gold. Multiple

6:11

shots on gold. Multiple shots on gold.

6:14

Multiple shots on gold. Multiple shots on

6:16

what? Multiple shots on what? Multiple pops.

6:18

You can come more than once, bam!

6:20

You're out of there, bam! I read

6:22

the old days, I think I've said

6:24

this before, but like some of the

6:27

ads were to be like, it would

6:29

be like a sassy, classy, queen. Sassy,

6:31

classy, who is paying for sass? Who

6:33

are these guys? Walking in like, oh,

6:35

can I have sex with you? I

6:37

put 200 on the table, and they're

6:40

like, uh-uh! And the, I'm sorry, that's

6:42

a black prostitute. These people are all

6:44

a fucking shame. God damn it, why

6:46

did I get the sassy one? But,

6:48

so there was, it was a mix

6:51

of characters. There were like, some kids,

6:53

they were college kids, like white college

6:55

squares that were just like, poker guys,

6:57

that were just like, they, you know,

6:59

met these guys at a casino and

7:01

they got invited. And at one point,

7:04

like a 600 pound Mexican deed sits

7:06

down right next to me. And he

7:08

has the really long coke finger nail.

7:10

You said 600 pounds? Yeah. Holy shit.

7:12

Shind. Then he said that right next

7:14

to me. And I'm just like playing

7:17

like, I'm all scooted over. He looks

7:19

like kingpins. He's like, yeah. And he

7:21

has the coke fingernail. And he was

7:23

just like, obviously. There was a few

7:25

guys that were like, these guys were

7:27

probably in gangs. Yeah, yeah, wow, what

7:30

a night for you. And you were

7:32

there till like 6 a.m. Yeah, so

7:34

I kept playing. You won big money

7:36

too, right? Yeah, I ended up profiting

7:38

$1,300. Good for you, but it was

7:40

pretty good. And yeah, at some point

7:43

I just got into this mode where

7:45

I couldn't lose, and I was also

7:47

like, like, I don't know what was

7:49

going on, but everybody was going on,

7:51

but everybody was scared. to play with

7:53

me. You were hammered too, right? Yeah,

7:56

they kept, because it was the dude's

7:58

birthday that ran the game, so they

8:00

kept bringing like a tray with shots

8:02

on him, and I'm like, I'm not

8:04

gonna be the pussy that doesn't take

8:07

it. Yeah. And I think they were

8:09

trying to get me a little drunk

8:11

to be bad and worse. You go,

8:13

I usually don't drink. Tonight. Tonight, you

8:15

know what? I'm a little uncomfortable and

8:17

crazy. I feel a little weird with

8:20

these surroundings. I'm going to have a

8:22

few to take the edge off. But

8:24

what they didn't realize is that it

8:26

was like when you tried to nuke

8:28

Godzilla. I just got stronger and better

8:30

and more confident in my moves and

8:33

stuff. And the people started leaving and

8:35

there was just some, a guy just

8:37

got back, one of the regulars just

8:39

got back from Thailand and everybody kept

8:41

just implying that he was there to

8:43

be a pedophile and stuff. There to

8:46

be a pedophile. There to be a

8:48

pedophile. He's not always a pedophile, but

8:50

he's a knight to be a pedophile.

8:52

And then so people kept pouring out

8:54

and I was like I wanted to

8:56

have really good manners because it's a

8:59

game right down the street from me

9:01

I wanted to get invited back. Yeah.

9:03

That's where I'm playing. I'm playing every

9:05

hand and I'm giving everybody action I'm

9:07

like betting I'm like calling. Did they

9:10

make you prove you got like an

9:12

invitation that you're not a cop or

9:14

whatever? Yeah, so I also that was

9:16

the other thing is they all thought

9:18

that I was a cop and the

9:20

only reason that I still got invited

9:23

is because I still got invited because

9:25

I show them that we're on, I'm

9:27

on a podcast. So they're like, why

9:29

would this be a cop? Right, right,

9:31

that's how Ray got me. What a

9:33

long con that would be Joey commits

9:36

for like five years to a podcast

9:38

so he could get into a poker

9:40

game and prove his identity? They asked

9:42

for the name of the podcast at

9:44

the name of the podcast at the

9:46

day. So guys, look, I'm sorry for

9:49

talking about the game. If you end

9:51

up actually, it's also made up. Yeah,

9:53

it was really fun and then yes

9:55

everybody started. And then I came to

9:57

the gym the next day you were

9:59

hammered at noon. Yeah, because it was

10:02

like I couldn't really sleep because I

10:04

got it almost a wire. Couldn't get

10:06

any winks. Couldn't get a single wink.

10:08

And then so I just was like,

10:10

all right, let me just have like,

10:12

I drank like four slowly throughout the

10:15

day. Oh, nice. Well, then you turned

10:17

it up at the end of the

10:19

day. Well, then I went to the

10:21

job far and kept it. That was

10:23

lovely. Trying to get me to come

10:26

over and edit with you. Edit. Edit.

10:28

Yeah. Edit, yeah, we gotta edit today.

10:30

We're gonna, we, like, you're just, like,

10:32

you just turn your camera on in

10:34

your pocket, and then at the end

10:36

of the day, go, we gotta edit

10:39

this. Let's get an hammer. I mean,

10:41

that was the funniest thing about that

10:43

day. And as I was like, Halary,

10:45

Joey wants me to come over to

10:47

edit. Yeah, the sketch, she's like, oh,

10:49

okay, yeah, sounds productive. And then she

10:52

checked my location like three hours into,

10:54

like three hours into, she goes, she

10:56

goes, still at arts at your brewery,

10:58

still at your brewery, aren't, aren't you,

11:00

aren't you, aren't you, aren't you. So

11:02

playing pool, I see, yeah. There used

11:05

to be so many times back of

11:07

the day, I would be like, I'm

11:09

gonna go meet up, we're gonna make

11:11

a video or whatever, I'd meet up

11:13

with like David or Joey. And then

11:15

I'd get there and be like, oh,

11:18

fuck, the mic doesn't, it's not, I

11:20

don't know. Well, that's just fucking hammer.

11:22

But yeah, it was extremely fun and

11:24

I refused to, and I was gonna

11:26

to be like, I'm not gonna win

11:29

a bunch of money from them, and

11:31

then, and then, and then, and then,

11:33

and then look like I did a

11:35

hit and run. So I was like

11:37

a thing. Yeah, it's considered bad poker

11:39

etiquette if you win a bunch and

11:42

then bail before you could sound like

11:44

being smart. It's like being smart. It's

11:46

smart. That's what you should do at

11:48

certain times at casinos and stuff like

11:50

that. It's like people that hate camping

11:52

and video games. It's like why would

11:55

I not? There's the the back of

11:57

me is a wall. I'm safest here.

11:59

I'm going to just sit here and

12:01

shoot all of you. Well, it's because

12:03

it's a private game and then they're

12:05

trying to be funny all night. I'm

12:08

like I'm talking. people and trying to

12:10

just make sure I get invited back.

12:12

I wish I knew how to play

12:14

cards. All I know how to do

12:16

is blackjack and just go hit me.

12:18

Yeah, I would love to teach it.

12:21

very fun. And people, people, I don't

12:23

know if they sucked or if I'm

12:25

that good, but it was just like,

12:27

you know, one of those cushiest feelings.

12:29

Could have been a lot of frauds

12:31

there that are just kind of there

12:34

because they're like, this is cool. Just

12:36

degenerate too. Right away, you did. They're

12:38

all too busy getting sucked off. They're

12:40

all too busy with multiple shots on

12:42

goal. What is the guy from Thailand?

12:45

They just got back from Thailand. He

12:47

had he unzipped his backpack. There's two

12:49

little children in it. He's just got

12:51

back. He's putting him on the he's

12:53

pushing him on the table. No, he

12:55

was sitting next to him. He sucks

12:58

off the penis. He sucks off the

13:00

penis out of the back leg. He's

13:02

shucks off the penis out of the

13:04

backpack. He's sitting next to him. just

13:06

going hmm. Just like a real creepy

13:08

degenerate. That's classic romantic. You know, you're

13:11

in an environment that most people don't

13:13

get to be in. It was cool

13:15

city in their life. That is cool.

13:17

Yeah, only you. I stayed until like

13:19

6am or whatever. I used to wind

13:21

up in weird situations like that, but

13:24

like not like that. Like I one

13:26

time wind up at a, you and

13:28

I, we were at a, John and

13:30

I went to a like a pole

13:32

dancing competition in like. like half naked

13:34

women in a public storage container like

13:37

it was like it was like a

13:39

sex trafficking like den and they had

13:41

a pole there and they were all

13:43

dancing and there was just people like

13:45

a bunch of like kind of like

13:48

hood dude standing around is like eating

13:50

chicken and waffles out of styrofoam like

13:52

combo boxes and we were just all

13:54

watching it was not like it wasn't

13:56

like an underground need for speed thing

13:58

it was like it wasn't it was

14:01

an odd environment sounds like a weird

14:03

something something was weird you don't usually

14:05

go like let's go to this very

14:07

respectable pole dancing competition it takes place

14:09

in a storage container they go we

14:11

let him dance before we let him

14:14

dance before we traffic them before we

14:16

traffic them before we shut the doors

14:18

and they Say out of cross sea.

14:20

Yeah, fucking like prop Joe is standing

14:22

there like watching like like hookers like

14:24

dance and he's eating fried chicken and

14:27

waffles out of a I'm going to

14:29

do a cockfight in Thailand. That's cool.

14:31

That's cool. Yeah, that's why the sketches

14:33

thing I've been too, like on the

14:35

real thing. You would have fit right

14:37

in if you know how to play

14:40

poker, Johnny. I need to learn. Pretty

14:42

proud of you, Johnny, what's the lack

14:44

of drinking thing. You know, I'm getting

14:46

a little bit bad. I've been getting

14:48

a little bit bad. I've been getting

14:51

a little like the hang of taking

14:53

some breaks here and there, but you

14:55

know, but you know I've been thinking

14:57

about it. I've been thinking about it.

14:59

I've been thinking about it. I really

15:01

I'm trying to I don't know if

15:04

I could do a month because it's

15:06

just not good for your mental health.

15:08

There's too many reasons I was I

15:10

was just thinking like month by month

15:12

if you actually look at it You're

15:14

really it's you're being really mean to

15:17

yourself. Yeah, they don't you have to

15:19

fail There's always a reason you could

15:21

drink so like I mean, I don't

15:23

know like go through like what's in

15:25

January. It's fucking inauguration inauguration day. I

15:27

mean, you know the election stressful you

15:30

got a drink then, Martin Luther King

15:32

Jr. Day, that's okay. And then you

15:34

got February, let's go to February. You

15:36

got Groundhog Day. You got Groundhog Day.

15:38

You go, I'm not drinking in February,

15:40

it's the shortest month, I can get

15:43

away with this one. You go, well,

15:45

it's Black History Month, you're kind of

15:47

being disrespectful, how do you, you gotta

15:49

have a few drinks, because the whole

15:51

month is for them, you're pissed off

15:53

about that. You know, you have a

15:56

few. Drinkaras, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day, how,

15:58

how, how you, how you, how you,

16:00

how you have, Valentine's, how you, how

16:02

you, how you, how you, how you,

16:04

how you, Valentine's, how, how you, how

16:07

you, how you, how you, how you,

16:09

you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

16:11

you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

16:13

you, you, you, you, you, you, How

16:15

do you not get fucked up after

16:17

Ash Wednesday? I mean, it's Ash Wednesday.

16:20

It's... Everybody's in a good mood. Everyone's

16:22

in a good mood. You know, and

16:24

then also March, St. Patrick's Day. Yeah.

16:26

It's impossible. It's impossible to go dry

16:28

in March. So then you can get

16:30

to April. Listen, some April fools pranks

16:33

are very stressful. You think it's real.

16:35

And you go, oh my God, it

16:37

wasn't. You go. Well, Jesus Christ, my

16:39

stress levels are through the roof right

16:41

now. Or Twitter account, just made up.

16:43

a fake flavor. And now I need

16:46

to go. Exactly. Or you go, where

16:48

you go, hey, I'm taking the month

16:50

of April off. April fools. No, I'm

16:52

not. OK. Or you could play into

16:54

it. Also, tax. April 15th tax day

16:56

impossible you got a hat you got

16:59

to drink it up in April Sinko

17:01

to May we get to May we

17:03

got Easter you got Easter and you

17:05

also got Earth Day in April Earth

17:07

Day That's a wash agave comes from

17:10

the earth You got to drink a

17:12

day Easter is a huge drink of

17:14

day then you get to May Sinko

17:16

de drinko come on You got a

17:18

drink in May, Mother's Day. I got

17:20

my birthday also on the same day

17:23

as Mother Day is here. So yeah,

17:25

I'm going to get twice as fucked

17:27

up. Mother's Day. In honor of myself

17:29

and my mother. Yep, and then you

17:31

get the June. And who is not

17:33

going to drink for aid al-ada? The

17:36

holiday, it's a great holiday we all

17:38

know about. And of course, flag day,

17:40

flag day, you fucking get with your,

17:42

you made up with your buddies and

17:44

you go, what a day, the flags.

17:46

Yeah, all the flag. You got flag

17:49

day and father's day, back to back,

17:51

that's a bender of you, that's a

17:53

bender of you, that's two days, a

17:55

binge drinking my friend. Then you get

17:57

to July, I mean, nothing more need

17:59

be said, July 4th, boom, done, don't

18:02

be the loser on July 4th, that

18:04

sucks, don't be an asshole. Oh, Jan

18:06

Kapoor, dude. Then you get August. And

18:08

my birthday is in August. So, yeah.

18:10

Got a drink. I was going to

18:12

say, August looks pretty good. But yeah,

18:15

there's actually, there's actually nothing in August.

18:17

It just says Mark Fialca's birthday. I

18:19

didn't know about that. So it's Mark's

18:21

birthday, my birthday, John's birthday. We all

18:23

got a drink. So, sounds like the

18:26

most dangerous month so far. It's a

18:28

crazy month, August. And then you get

18:30

to September silence. Labor Day. Labor Day

18:32

is here. Yeah. Let's have a few.

18:34

Because of we worked all the work

18:36

we put all the work of the

18:39

labor yeah, that we have done you

18:41

got Erosia Shana, and then you get

18:43

in October. Columbus Day, how do you

18:45

forget his sins? No, you don't celebrate

18:47

him, he's a sinful man. How do

18:49

you forget his sins? You got a

18:52

drink. No, he actually was a great

18:54

guy. With 50 men, we could subjugate

18:56

them. Indigenous People's Day. And you get

18:58

to November, fucking Thanksgiving. I'm fucking stone

19:00

cold Steve Austin smashing two cores like

19:02

together screaming it's Columbus Day motherfucker. So

19:05

it's actually the drugs I'll be all

19:07

year. I think I got to it.

19:09

It's actually impossible to quit drinking for

19:11

a full month. Mm-hmm. I'd love to.

19:13

Hands are tied. Truly. Yeah. You know

19:15

what used to happen on this land?

19:18

Fucking redskins used to drink fire water.

19:20

Okay, and they had a pretty good

19:22

time and you're racist and you're racist

19:24

for not celebrating how quickly they'd get

19:26

hammered and we would then kill them

19:29

and take them for everything that they

19:31

had Because they had different jeans Yeah,

19:33

well anyway, I was just a little

19:35

sick of that, you know, I keep

19:37

trying to think about it. Well this

19:39

month and I go but there's a

19:42

occasion I'm a hero for the amount

19:44

that I drink currently because it sounds

19:46

like I should be drinking. You are

19:48

in constant celebration. Yeah. Of life. Sorry.

19:50

Sorry for loving life. At any given

19:52

time. When you say you're drunk, I

19:55

go, I'll go on my calendar. I

19:57

go, yeah, Joey's having a good flag.

19:59

I go, it's 420. I didn't like

20:01

it. My anxiety is too much. I'm

20:03

just having a hell of an Earth

20:05

Day right now. You know, and you're

20:08

losing your mind. You actually are. I

20:10

don't remember what it's like being drunk.

20:12

Why are you doing it? I didn't.

20:14

I was just a fucking wretched drunk.

20:16

You were, but now your life's like

20:18

normal. I didn't like it. My anxiety

20:21

is too much. I'm just going to

20:23

take a year off then slowly back

20:25

into it. That'd be good. That seems

20:27

fun. I'm going to take a year

20:29

off. They get back into it. That

20:32

would be fun. I'm going to come

20:34

back in. That would feel like being

20:36

like born again. Yeah, I wish I

20:38

could do that. You're also goofing research

20:40

chemicals, so it's not like... I haven't

20:42

done research chemicals in a bit. Mushrooms

20:45

don't count, and uh... Now, I just

20:47

don't have a desire to smoke weed.

20:49

You're doing chemicals. It's worse than drinking.

20:51

A lot would say. Yeah, but I

20:53

don't know. I think it's more fun.

20:56

Because you don't know what's going

20:58

to happen. I support you no

21:00

matter what. Crazy. You're being healthy.

21:02

Injecting myself with gown. You look

21:05

insanely jack lately. You've got a

21:07

big barrel chest going and you've

21:09

lost a lot of weight. I

21:11

want to get to like prime

21:13

Maurice mode where I'm just like

21:16

20 pounds later. He said earlier,

21:18

he looks like prime Maurice. You

21:20

looked like a prime Maurice mode

21:22

where I'm just like 20 pounds

21:24

later. He looks like a prime.

21:26

I want to be an age

21:29

riddledled more Maurice. Yeah. Primal Maurice.

21:31

We're looking more chimp. More chimp.

21:33

Silverback chimp. You guys seen this,

21:35

uh, this, uh, this big buff

21:37

black guy is making the rounds

21:39

online where he films his morning

21:42

routine where he wakes up at

21:44

4 a.m. for absolutely no reason

21:46

and he shows his morning routine

21:48

for absolutely no reason and he

21:50

shows his morning routine and he

21:53

shows his morning routine and it's

21:55

meaningless. Yeah, he lives like Will

21:57

Smith and like bad boys. It

21:59

makes no sense. He's like this

22:01

insane beachfront condo. He's super-jacked. I'm

22:03

sure he's like a day trader

22:06

or some shit. So here's his

22:08

morning routine. So here's his morning

22:10

routine. 352 a.m. This guy would

22:12

kill it on the balloon dating

22:14

show. Oh yeah. Do you think

22:16

he lives in the States? Yeah.

22:19

He only drinks out of bottled

22:21

water, so I'm starting to think

22:23

that maybe he's like... He's not

22:25

as rich as you think he

22:27

is? What if he lives in

22:30

the only high-rise in Flint? He

22:32

might live in a penthouse in

22:34

Flint, Indiana. He's literally like the

22:36

leader of Flint, Michigan. It's like

22:38

dystopian. Yeah, they look up to

22:40

him and they go, oh man,

22:43

he's away. We woke up at

22:45

$3.50 again. Matt Damon's riding a

22:47

rocket to his apartment. Oh, the

22:49

retarded black influencer is drinking Saratoga

22:51

water and brushing his teeth again

22:53

at 4 a.m. I think if

22:56

we if he did live in

22:58

another country though, like for our

23:00

like income, if we lived in

23:02

like Thailand, we would, you would

23:04

think we were millionaires. I got

23:07

a feeling this guy probably makes

23:09

like 80 k a year and

23:11

lives in like the Philippines. Yeah,

23:13

you think so? I don't know.

23:15

We'll see. He's also, keep in

23:17

mind him setting up the camera

23:20

everywhere. And the lighting. Now I

23:22

sit at my fake desk and

23:24

I fake meditate. Yeah, Nicholas Raffin

23:26

directed this. Now I read the

23:28

first page, I read the first

23:30

page of a book, like LeBron.

23:33

I think it's a gratitude journal.

23:35

Huh? He's doing a gratitude journal,

23:37

which is really gay. It's really

23:39

gay. I'm really thankful for Pussy

23:41

and Money. He's just drawing dollar

23:44

signs. I'm thankful for jewelry and

23:46

Pussy. Big fat asses. I'm really

23:48

thankful for multi-level marketing schemes and

23:50

Pussy. I'm thankful for my delstrations

23:52

and my track. I'm thankful for

23:54

the fact that God said if

23:57

you just lived heavy things. you

23:59

get big. One day I will

24:01

be just like Rupert murder. We're

24:03

going to be serious about the

24:05

Lord's business. Let me put real

24:07

quick, let me watch my prayer

24:10

on my eye. Stay free up.

24:12

God first, y'all, God first. Now

24:14

let me dip my head into

24:16

ice water. He hasn't done anything.

24:19

Let me he's also one of these

24:21

assholes that has all sorts of stretchy

24:23

materials to put on your arms and

24:25

legs when you like go to the

24:28

gym or play a pick-up game and

24:30

the why. What do those do? This

24:32

compression? It's bullshit. It's absolute bullshit. Why

24:34

compress? I don't know, that's what, like,

24:36

this is what, like, fat people are

24:38

supposed to wear in, like, 12-hour flight,

24:40

so they don't have a blood clot,

24:42

die. He just wears it because he

24:44

thinks he's Alan Iverson. Maybe he has

24:46

a circulation issue, sometimes Jack people have

24:48

those things. No, I think it's because

24:50

it looks cool. And they want it.

24:52

They see guys in basketball games, where

24:54

it's like, like, an Asian kid, the

24:56

YMCA right now, shooting from, like, like,

24:58

like, like, like, like, white people, like,

25:00

like, like, like, white people, like, like,

25:02

like, white people, fat people, like, fat

25:04

people, like, like, like, like, fat people,

25:06

like, like, like, fat people, like, like,

25:08

like, like, like, like, fat people, like,

25:10

like, like, like, fat people, like, like,

25:12

like, like, like, like, like, fat people,

25:14

like, like, I just don't get it.

25:16

It took him two hours to brush

25:18

his teeth, go outside, right in his

25:20

gratitude journal, and then like... He had

25:22

to pray and meditate as well. Well,

25:24

because he cut, he's chopping it up.

25:26

Okay. It's not the actual time. I

25:28

get it, but you know. You went

25:30

for putting on rings to putting a

25:32

bag on wood this last 10 minutes.

25:34

I do know for a fact the

25:36

bracelet he's wearing is like a $5,000

25:38

at least bracelet. So he must be

25:40

making surreal though. I don't know why

25:42

that's so funny dude. Just buff black

25:44

dude's running full speed is so funny.

25:46

7.30 a. He goes out to his

25:48

pool. Perfect

25:52

swan knife. Perfect dive into the

25:54

pool. This is Miami. Yeah, he's

25:56

like, it's gotta be Florida. I

25:58

guess. Yeah. Now he showers, it

26:01

gets the chlorine off, it's not

26:03

even nine. He wipes the banana

26:05

peel on his face. Rubs the

26:07

banana peel on his face, like

26:09

he's trying to give, like, race

26:11

as bait. That's insane. Yeah. Come

26:14

on. I know. I mean, that's

26:16

like if this guy was a

26:18

Mexican guy and he's like, like,

26:20

oh, time for my shampoo and

26:22

he pours a bunch of beans

26:24

of beans on this. He's getting

26:26

fried chickens. He goes, he goes,

26:29

he goes, he goes, he puts

26:31

like a watermelon rind on his

26:33

head. He's like, he's like, a

26:35

watermelon rind on his head. He's

26:37

like, off to work. Why are

26:39

you doing this? He's putting fried

26:41

chickens. He's getting fried chickens. He

26:44

goes, he goes, he goes, 645,

26:46

steal my neighbor's bike. Uh, yeah,

26:48

I don't, I get, I bet

26:50

he would say like, the potassium

26:52

in banana peels is excellent for

26:54

your skin. I'm sure there's a

26:57

hell for you. I'm sure there's

26:59

a lagerie. When you look that

27:01

good and you do weird shit

27:03

like that, my brain just goes

27:05

to, it's gotta do something. It

27:07

exfoliates, I'm sure, and so it's

27:09

like, you know, instead of using

27:12

a wipe, it's a natural exfoliation,

27:14

and then maybe give you some

27:16

vitamins, any amount. I just, I

27:18

think the whole skin care, I

27:20

think the whole skin care, like,

27:22

like, like, like, like, like, like,

27:24

like, like, like, like, like, like,

27:27

like, like, like, like, like, I

27:29

don't do anything, I've semi-decent skin.

27:31

Yeah. And I don't do jack

27:33

shit. Is this funny? My pretty

27:35

good skin. I've had women telling

27:37

I have pretty good skin. I've

27:40

never done anything for my space.

27:42

Never. I do think you being

27:44

bigger helps with the. My grandfather

27:46

always said balloons don't wrangle. Yeah.

27:48

Exactly. Yeah. That is funny though.

27:50

It's for John's out of skincare.

27:52

Like, he's like talking to people

27:55

about skincare. That's a for. A

27:57

picture of health and beauty. It's

27:59

like duolepa. He's like I don't

28:01

need you don't need to do

28:03

any of the retinal or I

28:05

didn't know I'd do it. Look

28:07

at me! I'm kick-ass! But like,

28:10

I'll eat you, right! So read

28:12

a couple of their faces. I'm

28:14

like, oh, my, he does my

28:16

beauty stuff. It's my skin guru.

28:18

Yeah, I'm his kid guru. I

28:20

just think all this stuff, though,

28:23

like, makes your skin worse. All

28:25

these, like, fucking assets and shit

28:27

women do. Because there's always that

28:29

bullshit purge period. Every girlfriend eventually

28:31

tells their like they like make

28:33

their boyfriend like get on some

28:35

sort of like routine and you

28:38

gotta use this and then three

28:40

weeks in the guy's horrific acne

28:42

and then he stops because he's

28:44

like this is killing me what

28:46

is this and they go no

28:48

it's all part of it it

28:50

ruins you it ruins you it

28:53

just ruins you at the beginning

28:55

that's the toxins leaving the talks

28:57

yeah no no no no no

28:59

you're trapped now with me you

29:01

can't go anywhere you can't go

29:03

anywhere you can't go anywhere your

29:06

mind forever It's disgusting. It's disgusting.

29:08

And you're the fucking, you have

29:10

the greatest scounder. I have fantastic.

29:12

Love the idea of John becoming

29:14

the face of Sapporo. He's like

29:16

really like sex like over the

29:18

shoulder. He's like a glitter jumpsuit.

29:21

Water. Water on my face. Salina

29:23

Gomez, John Knox, duolee. He's walking

29:25

down the runway with toilet paper

29:27

stuck to his shoe. Maurice runway.

29:29

He's taking his ass. Oh, I

29:31

gotta go white my ass. All

29:33

right, so back to the, uh,

29:36

back to this game. Has somebody

29:38

deliver ice? Someone deliver and I,

29:40

uh, yeah, that feels a little

29:42

third world, doesn't it? Possibly, or

29:44

he just tells them to do

29:46

it for his videos. It's like

29:49

a friend. So looking at it,

29:51

bro, we gotta go ahead and

29:53

get in at least 10,000. That's

29:55

real business talk. Really sums up

29:57

the modern businessman. Sell it. Yeah,

29:59

man. Sell it. Sell it for

30:01

a million dollars. He's talking to

30:04

Haley Welch there. She's like, well,

30:06

okay, I'm just gonna cut that.

30:08

So we're stealing millions tomorrow. So

30:10

normally you people do scare me,

30:12

but I like $10,000. Well, okay,

30:14

you know. Mixing eggs, turkey bacon,

30:16

some avocado toast, to get served

30:19

again. Yeah,

30:21

okay, so this guy's got

30:23

like a bunch. The bottle

30:25

of water, the exclusive bottle

30:27

of water thing, it makes

30:29

me feel like he's not

30:31

in America. This is my

30:34

favorite one, because the bottle

30:36

of water drops and falls

30:38

and breaks, and he films

30:40

it too. So that means

30:42

he did it twice. Oh.

30:44

He runs across the glass,

30:47

like die hard. That means

30:49

he dropped it in this

30:51

frame, and then he got

30:53

another one, and he dropped

30:55

it to get a close-up

30:57

of it breaking. Oh, he's

30:59

showing off his slave. He

31:02

even pick it up. He

31:04

has a white slave. Yeah.

31:06

Wow. This is the dream.

31:08

He's got white slaves. It's

31:10

just the black dream. Yeah,

31:12

too. And then he's got

31:14

the Asian people over, then

31:17

they're, they're, uh, sawing off

31:19

his toenails. Yeah. Ooh, I

31:21

hear you. You do? Okay,

31:23

yeah, it looks nice. Ready,

31:25

fire, aim, what do you

31:27

think that book's about? It's

31:30

about comshots? Yeah. It's about

31:32

massive com-shots. Outlasting, you look.

31:34

That's by Peter North. Ready,

31:36

fight, aim, the Peter North

31:38

story. Forward, by Lexington, Steve.

31:43

Look at how white the

31:45

soles of his feet are.

31:48

Honestly, this is gay, dude.

31:50

It's extremely gay. If you're

31:52

really into like, like, whatever,

31:54

what is it called? Pedicures.

31:57

Pedicures and self-care, whatever. You

31:59

are kind of gay. Yeah.

32:01

Thank you slave, slave. You

32:04

got a big age. What

32:06

do you think his name

32:08

is like Harold? Yeah. How

32:11

you doing brother? This guy's

32:13

awesome. Hey brother, are we

32:15

connected to the blues? What

32:18

is his life? How did

32:20

you find this beauty? That

32:22

looks like Miami. They did

32:24

look like Miami. Yeah. He's

32:27

by himself. He's by himself.

32:29

And so this is what

32:31

he does. So look at

32:34

him like run here. I

32:36

know. NBA finals or the

32:38

Olympics. You just put on

32:41

suits and you yell, everybody

32:43

gets. Def god won, get

32:45

the fucking side! By the

32:48

way, it's so funny to

32:50

be this in shape and

32:52

to do his thing every

32:54

morning and you like aren't

32:57

preparing for the Super Bowl

32:59

or the... I know. NBA

33:01

finals or the Olympics. You

33:04

just put on suits and

33:06

like steal money from people

33:08

with your fake marketing company

33:11

or whatever you do. I

33:13

feel like him and Aaron

33:15

the plumber are destined to

33:18

meet. Yeah, they're destined to

33:20

do battle. It's Magneto and

33:22

Professor X. Yeah. Well, Aaron

33:24

the Plumber is like a

33:27

Timu version of it. Yeah.

33:29

They will fight now. It'll

33:31

be like that final, like

33:34

they punch up at the

33:36

same time. And they both

33:38

die. They both fly back

33:41

a mile. Yeah. You

33:45

know, he's faster than a car.

33:47

I bet he has a tiny

33:50

dick for sure. You think so?

33:52

Nah, he's got a hog on

33:54

him. What do we talk about?

33:56

He has to have huge hog.

33:59

You never know. He might have

34:01

taken his dick down a size

34:03

with all his stuff that he

34:05

does. You think he's nanny? No,

34:08

I mean that also that only

34:10

straits your balls. It doesn't shrink

34:12

your cock. No, it's a trick

34:14

cock. Can you check? You think

34:17

his friends that are filming him

34:19

from the cars driving accident while

34:21

he runs, you think they ever,

34:23

they get back to the apartment

34:26

and they're just like, but why?

34:28

They look at him and they

34:30

go, I guess his name's Ashton

34:32

Hall, they go Ashton. But why

34:35

are we doing this? Because I

34:37

want people to think I'm faster

34:39

than a car. Because I'm faster

34:41

than cars. Because I'm the fastest

34:44

richest man of all time. What

34:46

do you mean why are we

34:48

doing this? He's obsessed with serotonin

34:50

bottled water. And he loves putting

34:53

his face in a nice one.

34:55

Why are we doing this? Sounds

34:57

like someone's mad, they're not as

34:59

fast as a car. Yeah, I

35:02

don't know. It's wild that you

35:04

could be like that jacked and

35:06

handsome and black and you're somehow

35:08

still lame. Yeah, exactly. It's like

35:11

it's incredibly frustrated for me to

35:13

watch. Yeah, like, the guy's, he

35:15

is a loser. He's a loser.

35:17

He's a loser. Despite having all

35:19

that money and an incredible body

35:22

and handsome face. Yeah, like you're

35:24

all your slaves. You do suck.

35:26

Yeah. Like you suck. You suck.

35:28

It's a lame as slave owner

35:31

of all times. Imagine having slaves

35:33

and still being a loser. You

35:35

own people and you're a nerd?

35:37

Calvin Candy doing like a get

35:40

ready with me. Well, okay, so

35:42

there's a body camera there that...

35:44

I saw like four seconds of

35:46

and I go this I think

35:49

I think I think I think

35:51

I think I think the well

35:53

has been filled back up in

35:55

the body camp department Sun's out

35:58

same thing. Sun's out's warmer out.

36:00

They've started to warm out. They've

36:02

released the, listen, Wisconsin is thawed.

36:04

They, it's Mad Max and they

36:07

are letting the water flow down

36:09

that fucking, down that canyon. Bicam

36:11

season. Bicam, season, season. So this

36:13

is a woman that commits a

36:16

sex crime in a movie theater.

36:18

So, I think she gets got,

36:20

like, jacking off in a theater,

36:22

like, alone. Pleasing herself after hours

36:25

in a movie theater, officers deal

36:27

with much more than they bargained

36:29

for. Is she talking to you?

36:31

Oh, she was? No, she wouldn't.

36:34

Oh, okay. Mammy, you gotta go.

36:36

They don't want you here, you

36:38

gotta go. Is she still naked?

36:40

The theater's like mostly empty by

36:43

the way, so that's kind of

36:45

bullshit. I don't think she was...

36:47

Oh, I guess she has her

36:49

tits out. Why are they blocking

36:52

it? Well, they said after hours.

36:54

I don't know what that means.

36:56

Like was the theater ready? Like

36:58

the movie must have ended, she's

37:01

staying there for the credit. She's

37:03

like, oh, they did the catering?

37:05

Oh, that was the key grip.

37:07

She's like, I was just trying

37:10

to, I was just. A special

37:12

thank you to the government of

37:14

Canada. I'm just trying to squirt

37:16

to conclave. It's like 12 angry

37:18

men, but with the Pope. It's

37:21

a lot like 12 angry men,

37:23

except, you know, there's not a

37:25

care, there's not an actor in

37:27

it that has the gravitas of

37:30

Henry Fonda. They go man, that's

37:32

an incredible observation. I need you

37:34

to put your clam away though

37:36

and get the fuck out of

37:39

the theater. That's a great observation

37:41

ma'am, I agree, but your pussy

37:43

is out. Ambulance? Are you all

37:45

right? What? Can I get an

37:48

ambulance here for the female? She's

37:50

just moaning. She's in pleasure mode.

37:52

Do you know where you are

37:54

right now? Yeah, so we check

37:57

on McGuffin. She had about a

37:59

13 conclade of cosmos. And she's

38:01

acting now. She's homeless, right? How

38:03

are you? Just a horny lady.

38:06

Where are you going? Where are

38:08

you trying to get to? You

38:10

fool, are you? Where's home? Pure

38:12

nirvana. No. You know, I'm an

38:15

Alice Stubbs member. You're gonna treat

38:17

me this way? You've been talking

38:19

to A-list stuffs members like this?

38:21

I got $15 a-word. You talk

38:24

to every A-list stop member this

38:26

way? And now we need to

38:28

make sure that you get the

38:30

help you need. I'm fine. I

38:33

need you to tell me where

38:35

you live and where you are

38:37

before before I can... Can you

38:39

let me... I gotta go shit

38:42

this 805 bottle out my pussy

38:44

in the bathroom real quick. I

38:46

gotta shit it out my mother

38:48

fucking pussy. Sir, there's a Saratoga

38:51

Springs water bottle shoved up my

38:53

ass right now. Because I need

38:55

to make sure that you can

38:57

take care of myself. I'm not

39:00

trying to touch you, I'm not

39:02

trying to touch you. I'm not

39:04

trying to touch you, but I'm

39:06

going to go right here. Like

39:09

I appreciate you but I already

39:11

came and it's like I just

39:13

you could touch me all you

39:15

want baby but I came If

39:17

you were here 30 minutes ago

39:20

trust me we would have been

39:22

doing it all You could have

39:24

handcuffed me you freak? You freaky

39:26

ass got one a handcuff me

39:29

so you guys think like people

39:31

were in the movie the movie

39:33

ended throughout the movie? She was

39:35

masturbating and moaning. Yeah, or like

39:38

maybe a worker came in to

39:40

sweep up the popcorn and she's

39:42

still there The guy's trying to

39:44

sleep candy and he looks up

39:47

and there's a gigantic black woman.

39:49

He just mopping squirt under her

39:51

actively. I would, it wasn't irregular

39:53

when I worked at the movie

39:56

theater that I'd find panties in

39:58

the movie theater or under like

40:00

bras pan. I would find a

40:02

one time went in and a

40:05

woman was writhing on the ground

40:07

like dry humping the ground, but

40:09

she's on mushrooms Mm-hmm What do

40:11

you think there? She was watching

40:14

that's what I keep thinking like

40:16

what movie this was like six

40:18

months ago. Oh six months ago

40:20

So like I was just say

40:23

one of them days, but who

40:25

knows? It's like flow. She's like

40:27

I love that cat I love

40:29

that cat I love that cat

40:32

I Yeah, I don't know. I

40:34

haven't, I've just like never go

40:36

to the theater anymore or so.

40:38

What would a woman want to

40:41

see like a hot guy, right?

40:43

Mm. But I can't even think

40:45

of like, oh, maybe it was

40:47

a craving the hunter. Yeah. Craven

40:50

hunter. Craven hunter. Craven hunter? Craven

40:52

hunter. Craven hunter? Sure. Yeah. Well,

40:54

who's a, who's a, like a

40:56

black male like beauty that she

40:59

wanted to. Yeah, maybe, maybe Denzel.

41:01

That's an odd one. Yeah. Stuff

41:03

to been down. What really gets

41:05

a fat black woman going in

41:08

the theater? Maybe we'll learn a

41:10

clue here. Let's keep a lot.

41:12

She's fat, so maybe it was

41:14

just like the popcorn commercials. A

41:17

bunch of crunch got her going.

41:19

She pulled her panties down. When

41:21

they started talking about a little

41:23

lobby. She said, oh, fun. That

41:25

roller coaster with the popcorn. She

41:28

wants to eat the Lemley lamb.

41:30

She's jammed a tober on upper

41:32

pussy. We just want you to

41:34

talk to them really quick just

41:37

to make sure that you're okay.

41:39

Oh honey, I'm more than okay.

41:41

She goes, let me call the

41:43

real police. I don't

41:46

know who called you stripers. I

41:48

already came. I don't know who

41:50

called you stripers over. Please don't

41:52

touch me. I'm not trying to

41:54

touch you. I do. I need

41:57

to make sure that you're safe.

41:59

I am safe. I'm a grown

42:01

ass woman and I'm in my

42:03

husband's theater. Who owns this theater?

42:05

Magic Johnson! That's right! My husband!

42:07

Magic Johnson! Yeah, what could, who,

42:10

she was me and her wife?

42:12

Okay, we got Magic Johnson's son

42:14

here. I think she just made

42:16

that up. She's crazy. She's like

42:18

a janitor. She's like baby, baby,

42:20

I own the theater. We are

42:23

AMC. Yeah, right. Excuse me. Do

42:25

you even know where you are?

42:27

Excuse me. Do you know what

42:29

city you're in? Excuse me. Okay.

42:31

We gotta wait. Do not touch

42:33

me. You're standing in front of

42:36

me. Do not test for you

42:38

in this entire year. Why is

42:40

nobody going like bitch? You just

42:42

jerked off in the theater. You

42:44

can't leave. They're trying to be

42:46

nice. And also listen, everyone has

42:49

their needs and you know, if

42:51

I can sometimes, sometimes you never

42:53

know when the when nature calls.

42:55

Also she's hot. They're horny. They're

42:57

probably nice enough there. I can

42:59

find her out. Don't let her

43:01

out. She looks like if Destiny's

43:04

Child combined. No. If what have

43:06

made the others? If they all

43:08

ate each other like Faberje eggs

43:10

or something. No, they combined like

43:12

a robot. Like a gunnoms. Yeah.

43:14

But the actual reason is because

43:17

she was very obviously mentally ill

43:19

and like she was delusional. I

43:21

don't think she's mentally I think

43:23

she's fucking stupid. No, when they

43:25

first came she was saying stuff

43:27

like that made it seem like

43:30

she doesn't know where she is.

43:32

So they're like, okay, we're not

43:34

going to try to reason with

43:36

her with her logically. You know,

43:38

get her, you know, help mentally

43:40

and stuff. Fake as love, uniform

43:43

will be job. She thinks she

43:45

thinks they're fake ups. Oh, do

43:47

not touch me. Let me walk

43:49

to where the like. Well, I

43:51

need to know who you are

43:53

and make sure that you're fine.

43:56

You know what? Don't not. Because

43:58

you're pleasing your. We're going to

44:00

wait. Do not touch me. I

44:02

need to know who you are.

44:04

You don't need to know anything.

44:06

Because they don't want you on

44:09

this property. I will leave this

44:11

property. Why wait until I even

44:13

tell you I have to leave.

44:15

So I need to know who

44:17

you are. Yes. That makes no

44:19

sense. Wouldn wouldn't be trespassing if

44:22

I come back to the. Yes,

44:24

I do. Excuse me second. Can

44:26

we speak out here where the

44:28

light is? Or you want to

44:30

talk in a dark atom like

44:32

a little? We can talk over

44:35

here. Y'all are weird. Y'all be

44:37

weird. Oh shit, I got it.

44:39

She was jacking off to the

44:41

covenant. Really how? Just because there's

44:43

a big poster for it. I

44:45

forgot that came out. She's like,

44:48

there's something about. The devastation of

44:50

the Middle East that gets me.

44:52

He made a promise and he

44:54

went back for him. I really

44:56

don't think it was the covenant.

44:58

Wait, we might see. Shut the

45:01

theater. No, they don't even do

45:03

that at theaters. They don't do

45:05

that anymore. The theaters are so

45:07

fucking lazy. They don't even fucking

45:09

say on the Marquis what you're

45:11

walking about. I think it's prevent

45:14

from like movie hopping. Yeah, which

45:16

I still do. It actually makes

45:18

movie hopping more fun. More fun.

45:20

It's actually makes movie hopping more

45:22

fun. No, and I get it.

45:24

I let you go talk to

45:27

me so bad. Because no, this

45:29

is the second time we've been

45:31

out here. Because I love you.

45:33

Ultra screen, deal, what theater? Oh

45:35

shit, here it is. Oh, wait,

45:37

wait. Is it a horror movie?

45:40

It's scream. Oh, fuck. She was

45:42

masturbating and scream? Why the heck

45:44

not? What the hell? Yeah, what

45:46

the hell? Jane Ortega, or she's

45:48

hot. Mikey Madison was in the,

45:50

that sweetheart was in scream. What

45:53

the hell is she doing? She's

45:55

an Oscar winner. She plays the

45:57

Murders, she plays ghostface. She does?

45:59

Yeah, it's offering a reveal. What

46:01

the hell? Yeah. You hear the

46:03

movie is done. Everyone has left.

46:06

Where were we yesterday? You're over

46:08

at the end. She thought like

46:10

the name of the movie is

46:12

how you're spoke. Like she's like,

46:14

I need to come sort of

46:16

scream. Right? So okay. Okay. What

46:21

was the Applebee's complaint? Oh, so

46:23

she's gonna get trespassed everywhere around

46:26

us. She was coming so hard

46:28

the Applebee's next day. I can't

46:30

tell me I can't come at

46:33

TG at Friday. Where can I

46:35

come? Miniature, yeah. Where can I

46:38

come? Miniature, yeah. Where else do

46:40

I thank God? It's Friday. And

46:42

if you say Chili's, I'll fucking

46:45

kill you. Playing here because

46:47

you're doing the same exact thing.

46:49

What am I doing? You hear

46:52

past the movie. Everyone's gone. It's

46:54

done. You hear by yourself. You're

46:56

pleasing yourself in the movie theater.

46:59

Okay. Yes, you were. It's all

47:01

on body camera. I did it.

47:04

She did it. Oh, so you're

47:06

recording biography? That's good. Good response,

47:08

sweetheart. Good response. So you're saying

47:11

that you're recording. Shut

47:13

up, Joey. Tech issues. Shut

47:15

up. Gotta imagine if this

47:17

guy was on Apollo 30.

47:19

Shut your car on yourself.

47:21

Those astronauts, it would have

47:23

been blasted off of ours.

47:25

Oh, saw your recording. Huh?

47:27

You guys both shut up.

47:29

You shut up. No respect.

47:31

Shut up. Fine, I will.

47:33

And play the videos. Shut

47:35

up. Chernobyl was an utter

47:37

thing. Oh yeah that was

47:39

full otters. That RBMK reactor

47:41

is created by otters. There

47:43

was somebody watching the reactor

47:45

that was probably Kevin's uncle.

47:47

Yeah. And could you play

47:49

the video and stop being

47:51

a diva? I didn't like

47:53

anything you both just said.

47:55

Sorry you're very good at

47:58

that. So you're saying that

48:00

you were recording. Yeah, I

48:02

am a tech master. Could

48:04

you buy this? Yeah. I

48:06

bought it and plugged it

48:08

in. Well. Are you capable

48:10

of that? No. I will

48:12

say every time. Every time

48:14

Joey takes over, he does

48:16

break it so much. Yeah,

48:18

it's also a funny thing.

48:20

Yeah, but I don't use

48:22

it every day for like

48:24

years. Imagine how good idea

48:26

if it is. The A10

48:28

Mini Pro is a complete

48:30

piece of shit that has

48:32

a bunch of glitches. Thank

48:34

you. Body camera? No? Why

48:36

are you recording me without

48:38

my permission? Because I have

48:40

to deal with you. No,

48:42

you don't have to do

48:44

anything you want to deal

48:46

with me. That's why you're

48:48

harassing yesterday. I don't want

48:50

to deal with you. He's

48:52

stepping into a trap. So

48:54

I'm up there and talk

48:56

to the person I was

48:58

with. I did. And what

49:00

did they say? They said

49:02

they want you to trespass.

49:04

They said they want you

49:06

to go. I weren't. I

49:08

need your ID. I don't.

49:10

So here's the option. Here's

49:12

the option. Here's the option.

49:14

Okay. I need to make

49:16

sure that you're able to

49:18

care for yourself. Go ahead,

49:20

put the cops on! Man,

49:22

this has got to be

49:24

rough when she gets home.

49:26

Like, you have to explain

49:29

this. Like, so how was

49:31

the movie? She's like, really

49:33

good at first. Then the

49:35

body cam comes out. Yeah.

49:37

Your whole family. Hercules, Hercules,

49:39

Devastating Stuff. I mean, I'm

49:41

not even trying, I wasn't

49:43

trying to, I wasn't trying

49:45

to be like rude there.

49:47

I imagine she's huge. I

49:49

imagine she goes home to

49:51

a family of clumps. Yeah.

49:53

Public masturbating. Yes. Of course.

49:55

And they, six months later,

49:57

this video comes out. And

49:59

they're laughing their fucking ass

50:01

off. They're just humor, human

50:03

cancer cells. They all just

50:05

look like the same. Stop

50:07

playing it every time we

50:09

get together. Motherfuckers. Uncle, wait,

50:11

go, can you stop? And

50:13

he's just like, heh, heh,

50:15

heh, heh, heh, heh. You

50:17

crazy. I just keep thinking

50:19

about all the clowning that

50:21

will go on in this

50:23

young woman's life. Good God!

50:25

Nobody clowns better than black

50:27

people. It's true. You just

50:29

mad because you ain't get

50:31

your nut up, baby. I've

50:33

been coming anywhere I want

50:35

any time I want. Scream,

50:37

three, screen, five, six, seven,

50:39

eight, any scream they make.

50:41

I'm becoming in that. What's

50:43

the last time you came

50:45

in a scream? I need

50:47

to make sure that you're

50:49

able to care for yourself.

50:51

So arrest me. Okay? Because

50:53

last time you wouldn't talk

50:55

to me. So I didn't

50:57

know. You want to go

51:00

to jail? What is your

51:02

name? What is your name?

51:04

What is your name? What

51:06

is your name? Daniel who?

51:08

It's just Danny. He's so

51:10

good at making them seem

51:12

retarded. What is your name?

51:14

You think these officers are

51:16

wearing masks because they're puzzy

51:18

stinks? Or is it like

51:20

a health thing or COVID?

51:22

Combination of both. When did

51:24

this scream come out? During

51:26

COVID? I don't know. 2023

51:28

at March 2020. No, I

51:30

was wearing masks. Were they

51:32

wearing masks? You could see

51:34

the body cam days. Interesting.

51:36

March 12th. I'm asking you,

51:38

I just told you my

51:40

name, I'm Alex, what's your

51:42

name? Don't worry, you know

51:44

my name, don't you? I

51:46

don't, I don't know you,

51:48

that's what we need. I

51:50

don't know you, I want

51:52

to get to know you

51:54

though. You're beautiful, Queen. I

51:56

think it's her number. She's

51:58

pulling a joker, it's her

52:00

plan to get arrested and

52:02

go back to play station

52:04

and master beer. I'm Alex.

52:06

What's his name? What's your

52:08

name? You talked to me.

52:10

This is a person that

52:12

calls you right? Yeah. Because

52:14

he was concerned that you

52:16

were not acting normal and

52:18

you weren't leaving the theater.

52:20

What's normal? What's normal? You

52:22

were supposed to leave the

52:24

theater when the movie's done.

52:26

You were still there? Ask

52:29

me nice little leave. You

52:31

didn't want to leave. So

52:33

that's trespassing. When did they

52:35

asked me nice? This is

52:37

the first time hearing of

52:39

this. Okay, well, I'm just

52:41

informing you now. So now

52:43

you understand. I'm still marinating

52:45

on the movie. I'm still

52:47

marinating on the movie. Marinating

52:49

on the movie. I be

52:51

reflecting on the theme. I

52:53

scream. I was reflecting. I

52:55

was getting introspective, baby. See,

52:57

baby, I'm a scintify. I

52:59

sit through the motherfucking credits.

53:01

Did that saw? Okay. Where

53:03

do you live? She does

53:05

that her husband's still in

53:07

the theater. Yeah, she's pretty

53:09

scary. She's crazy. She's getting

53:11

delusional. Close by enough to

53:13

call a living, making home

53:15

like I'm about to do

53:17

when I did yesterday. I'm

53:19

about to be permanently ruining

53:21

the alignment in my lift.

53:23

Me? Miss B nasty and

53:25

we'll be back. We kind

53:27

of assumed that you were

53:29

kind of altered. So how

53:31

did you just have expectations

53:33

over parts? I don't know

53:35

you, you don't know me.

53:37

You have you expect me

53:39

to say anything. You don't

53:41

know what's going on. If

53:43

I ask you your name,

53:45

you're just, I'm so and

53:47

so. Whatever it is, your

53:49

name is, why are you

53:51

giving me such a difficult

53:53

time? We're just trying to

53:55

make sure that you're mentally,

53:57

I mean you were masturbating

54:00

in movie theater. My name

54:02

is Regalicia A.M.C. Johnson. You

54:04

want to know my name?

54:06

Regalia Pacific, MC Johnson. You

54:08

leave out of here and

54:10

something happens. You run across

54:12

Randall Road and get hit

54:14

by a car because you're

54:16

not acting right here. Baby,

54:18

I hit cars. They don't

54:20

hit me. You by the

54:22

crush street. Car hits you.

54:24

You total the car. A

54:26

family of five is dead

54:28

now. You walk away on

54:30

skating. We don't like that

54:32

either. They go, excuse me,

54:34

ma'am, are you the, are

54:36

you the fat rapper that

54:38

destroys oopers? See, I'm saying,

54:40

we just want to make

54:42

sure you're going to be

54:44

okay. And you're telling you

54:46

that your husband's here, but

54:48

he is not. Okay. Okay.

54:50

So that's probably in a

54:52

business meeting with the shareholders.

54:59

And he's just like cleaning

55:01

a bathroom. My husband owns

55:04

this whole motherfuggen! My husband

55:06

owns this whole motherfuggen! Was

55:09

it? What is hallucinating? What's

55:11

the definition? You're thinking that

55:13

something's there, but it is

55:16

not. And that's a- Well,

55:18

can you hallucinate when I

55:21

leave off the door, please?

55:23

You're saying that you were

55:25

here with your husband, and

55:28

he is not? Who is

55:30

not? Your husband? Well, who

55:33

is not? Well, who is

55:35

he? Whoever you said you

55:38

were with? You want to

55:40

go to the hospital? I

55:42

figure something out? How about

55:45

that? Yeah. In the hospital

55:47

don't you get that you're

55:50

not answering questions appropriately? What

55:52

is appropriate? Your name? I

55:54

have asked you your name

55:57

several time you keep refusing.

55:59

That's not appropriate. Are you

56:02

a police officer? No, but

56:04

I'm just trying to get

56:06

I don't have to say

56:09

anything. She's totally correct. She's

56:11

totally correct. I spoke. I

56:14

told you my name. I

56:16

told you what day it

56:18

is. I saw I told

56:21

you what time in the

56:23

movie. Any day I told

56:26

you I told you I

56:28

was working. Now tell me

56:31

where my husband. We'll handle

56:33

it for you. We'll handle

56:35

it on the right. We'll

56:38

handle it on the right.

56:40

We'll handle it for me.

56:43

I just left cry up

56:45

for this honey. You trust

56:47

that's from the property so

56:50

I can't see me. Robert

56:52

DeNiro walks out of my

56:55

finger. Let's get out of

56:57

here. I like screaming, you

56:59

know. She comes here again

57:02

and you can trust her

57:04

after property until then. Sweet

57:07

tea. Sweet tea as if

57:09

it's to drink. I'm not

57:12

trying to ask you, it's

57:14

just you're doing it. Did

57:16

she say her name was

57:19

Sweetie? Her business name is

57:21

Sweetie, so she's a hook.

57:24

All right, I'm talking, so

57:26

now you're done talking, do

57:28

you? If you just give

57:31

me your name, this would

57:33

be a lot, it would

57:36

be done a lot quicker.

57:38

No, you didn't, you said

57:40

your name is Sweetie, which

57:43

is a nickname, and then

57:45

I can get you out

57:48

of here. Which was like

57:50

your government name that's on

57:52

your ID if you have

57:55

your ID Okay, then what's

57:57

your name? That's why I'm

58:00

asking. So if you gave

58:02

me my slave name. So

58:05

what's next? You need my

58:07

address. So if I ever

58:09

come back here, you'll know.

58:12

So what's next? You need

58:14

my name? I was told

58:17

not to give my government

58:19

name because you already know

58:21

it. I don't know your

58:24

government name. That's why I'm

58:26

asking. So if you gave

58:29

me your name, this would

58:31

expedite the process. Fine. Glenn

58:33

Big Baby Davis. Dominic. Dominic.

58:36

What's your last? I don't

58:38

have to tell you that,

58:41

but you have to tell

58:43

me or not. My name

58:45

is Ray Lewis. Fine. George

58:48

Foreman. Marcion Lynch. Ever heard

58:50

of him? My name is

58:53

George Floyd. Hey,

58:56

what's your name? My name is

58:58

Derek Chauvin. It's nice to meet

59:00

you. Good to see you again.

59:02

Good to see you again. But

59:04

wait, now if I can't find

59:07

it, then you're coming with me.

59:09

What's somebody that doesn't want me

59:11

on the property? Do you sure

59:13

want me here? Why down here?

59:15

Because I have the trust past

59:17

you. If I come back here,

59:19

this guy I'll remember. I just

59:21

need your name. Just cooperate Liddy,

59:23

they're like saying they'll let her

59:25

actually like say like we'll let

59:27

you out of here She's not

59:29

working on their rules. She's not

59:31

even in their Astro plane She's

59:33

playing 40 chess. Oh, dude, if

59:35

you say that fit the mention

59:37

right I'm convinced that they say

59:39

her name like some like demonic

59:41

Curtis is gonna come out like

59:43

the sky's gonna be blotted with

59:45

red and an earthquake will happen.

59:47

I was told not to utter

59:49

this for a million years. My

59:52

name is a frequency that human

59:54

ears can't even register. Vibrate into

59:56

your explode. Could I say? How

59:58

about I freeze you and break?

1:00:00

My name is on some wick

1:00:02

tremor shit. I mean... Go funny!

1:00:04

Let me... I'm gonna check the

1:00:06

attached person on the call. I'm

1:00:08

gonna see a... God, I love

1:00:10

a rainy... Paramedics last. Brainy streets,

1:00:12

do you look at me? Isn't

1:00:14

a wet street just one of

1:00:16

the most, most aesthetically pleasing things

1:00:18

on earth? Who's the director that

1:00:20

figured out, let's just hose down

1:00:22

the streets? Oh, fuck. I want

1:00:24

to see. It goes back a

1:00:26

ways, but I know who you're

1:00:28

talking about. Wasn't it freaking? It

1:00:30

might have been, where you just,

1:00:32

even if it's not, a cloudy

1:00:35

sky, you just wet the street.

1:00:37

Everything everything looks better. Everything looks

1:00:39

better. We just need your name,

1:00:41

your actual... I cannot give you

1:00:43

my name. We forgive you, my

1:00:45

name, we would all die. Give

1:00:47

you one black wing, so I'm

1:00:49

screwed out of my back. I

1:00:51

am a fallen angel. I kill

1:00:53

Gabriel. If I say my name,

1:00:55

Gabriel's horn won't wait. You'll never

1:00:57

hear her names with your human

1:00:59

ears again. Are you prepared to

1:01:01

fight Gabriel? And then the prophecy

1:01:03

will be completed. You think she's

1:01:05

afraid to give her name because

1:01:07

she's got warrants or whatever? I

1:01:09

think she doesn't remember her name

1:01:11

at this point. She might not

1:01:13

really. It does sound like she's

1:01:15

had a few run-ins with a

1:01:17

law. She's saying she just got

1:01:20

kicked out of an Applebee's like

1:01:22

yesterday. She seems familiar with the

1:01:24

concept of being trespassed. Just trespass

1:01:26

me. I won't come back. That's

1:01:28

it. In this bag you'll find

1:01:30

the sphere of destiny. She gives

1:01:32

them her name and they're like,

1:01:34

ma'am, you are, you have a

1:01:36

warrant out for your arrest for

1:01:38

putting Red Lobster out of business.

1:01:40

The endless shrimp. Ma'am, when I

1:01:42

put your name in, it says,

1:01:44

contact the Pentagon. and see how

1:01:46

long we can get away which

1:01:48

is continually we should go to

1:01:50

one of those chains that has

1:01:52

those like where they have like

1:01:54

some deal where it's like endless

1:01:56

something and see how long we

1:01:58

can get away which is continually

1:02:00

ordering people have done that I

1:02:02

know it's crazy but like I

1:02:05

don't know I don't think I'd

1:02:07

last that long John is really

1:02:09

good with all four of us.

1:02:11

Well that's usually the the clause

1:02:13

of those things is like it's

1:02:15

if you start sharing it they

1:02:17

cut you off. Okay well then

1:02:19

how about? Well we all have

1:02:21

to buy our own. What if

1:02:23

we bring a bag and we

1:02:25

keep hiding it? Because like how

1:02:27

I used I used I used

1:02:29

to cream barbecase to hide on

1:02:31

my extra beef under the salad.

1:02:33

Put in your pockets at the

1:02:35

end. Yeah. I've been with Johnny

1:02:37

cream barbecheel all you can eat.

1:02:39

And so much. It's all eats

1:02:41

all eats like pew. and then

1:02:43

he left at some point, he

1:02:45

took a dumb mid-meal, kept going,

1:02:47

got to reload, then went outside,

1:02:50

yeah, I think they kept going

1:02:52

after. Oh my God, yeah, dude.

1:02:54

We used to go to cream

1:02:56

barbecue. I'm like a cat, I

1:02:58

just eat till I die. We'd

1:03:00

eat a ton and then we'd

1:03:02

go like, we'd leave one person

1:03:04

at the table and we'd go

1:03:06

into the car and smoke a

1:03:08

blunt to reload our appetite. Power

1:03:10

up our hunger. And we'd come

1:03:12

back in and go for another

1:03:14

like hour. It was unbelievable. They

1:03:16

would stop serving you after one.

1:03:18

They would stop serving you after

1:03:20

one. You'd have to act like

1:03:22

you're ready for the check and

1:03:24

then they come over and you're

1:03:26

like brisk. And then they might

1:03:28

still have them, but it's like.

1:03:30

two to four dollars something like

1:03:32

that. Yeah, pancakes are tough though,

1:03:35

man. Me and my friends, though,

1:03:37

we'd like fucking house them. And

1:03:39

they found out that we were

1:03:41

all sharing it and they like

1:03:43

lost their shit on us. This

1:03:45

guy was like ready to kill

1:03:47

us and we had like pay

1:03:49

extra money for it. What? All

1:03:51

right. I thought it was like

1:03:53

all you can eat. Yeah, that's

1:03:55

not. There was a waiter at

1:03:57

the Denny's and Tonga that was

1:03:59

like, for sure has like, killed

1:04:01

like a million people, like this.

1:04:03

Evil face. Truly, like an Anton

1:04:05

Chigur type. But like really dark

1:04:07

like Aztec looking Mexican. Jesus. I've

1:04:09

never seen him smile, he had

1:04:11

like gold teeth here and there

1:04:13

and just like scarred down his

1:04:15

eye. And I was like, holy

1:04:17

shit. And that guy screaming up

1:04:20

me for unlimited pancakes. I was

1:04:22

like, whatever you want me to

1:04:24

do. Holy shit. I was like,

1:04:26

whatever you want me to do.

1:04:28

Now they arrest her. This guy's,

1:04:30

I need four more cups. Do

1:04:32

you think they've ever arrested somebody

1:04:34

so fat, the handcuffs don't fit?

1:04:36

That's the whole thing. It's called

1:04:38

double cups, people. You get an

1:04:40

extension on them. Or they link

1:04:42

two pairs of handcuffs together. That's

1:04:44

fun. Or they link two pairs

1:04:46

of handcuffs together. That's fun. Yeah.

1:04:48

I like two. Yeah. It's very

1:04:50

funny to have that moment as

1:04:52

a fat person. I'm too fat

1:04:54

to be arrested. Do you have

1:04:56

anything on me they shouldn't have?

1:04:58

Yeah, it's nice and loose. Yes,

1:05:00

it is. They're not meant to

1:05:03

be comfortable. So, I can't use

1:05:05

you. Yeah. Now how am I

1:05:07

going to masturbate with my hands

1:05:09

behind my back like that? You

1:05:11

tell me that genius. I mean,

1:05:13

I can still get a finger

1:05:15

in my booty hole. I can

1:05:17

sit on it. It's not the

1:05:19

same. Damn, she's making sure there's

1:05:21

making sure there's nothing in it.

1:05:23

You think these cuffs can hold

1:05:25

me. Full

1:05:27

as humans They find some

1:05:30

THC gummies that are root

1:05:32

bear flavored root bear She

1:05:34

must be high on edibles

1:05:36

and she's envisioned that she

1:05:39

has a husband that is

1:05:41

somewhere in the building. That

1:05:43

was fucking this shit out

1:05:46

of her in the movie

1:05:48

theater. That never appears. This

1:05:50

husband, she's, she thinks she

1:05:53

has this gorgeous husband that

1:05:55

works. That is Mr. Mr.

1:05:57

Movie theater that never appears.

1:06:00

I hope you would

1:06:02

have told me

1:06:04

a name I

1:06:06

wouldn't have to

1:06:08

go through my

1:06:10

phone. Don't go

1:06:12

through my bag,

1:06:14

my husband in there!

1:06:16

He tidy! My husband

1:06:20

everywhere! Ashton

1:06:22

runs full spurring

1:06:25

through those doors.

1:06:27

So Smash cut to

1:06:29

the uncle at Thanksgiving watching

1:06:31

her body cam footage laughing

1:06:34

at her? He goes, ha

1:06:36

ha ha, weenie ass, that's

1:06:38

a good one, that's a

1:06:40

good one though. You got

1:06:43

his ass. You did get

1:06:45

his ass. You did get

1:06:47

his ass. You did get

1:06:50

his ass. She, Regalicia, A.M.C.

1:06:52

Johnson. I knew that

1:06:54

since he was a little one.

1:06:56

Man, he better- All right, we're

1:06:59

gonna go. We're gonna take these

1:07:01

cars. I'm a cenify now.

1:07:03

Let's go. Y'all better let

1:07:05

me out in time for

1:07:07

the French connection at the

1:07:10

New York tomorrow. I'm supposed

1:07:12

to jack off to Dr.

1:07:14

Chavago tomorrow. I'm supposed to

1:07:16

jack off to Dr. Chavago

1:07:19

tomorrow. I swear

1:07:21

a motherfuckin' god if

1:07:23

I miss Lastrada at the eight.

1:07:26

If y'all don't let me

1:07:28

out in time. Don't watch.

1:07:31

Dr. Shapiro. I know, you

1:07:33

didn't hurt me, it's bump

1:07:35

me with that back again,

1:07:37

bro. Get his hand off

1:07:39

of me. Get his hand

1:07:41

off me. You can. You

1:07:43

hold me. What if she

1:07:45

starts wheeling her shibbing into

1:07:48

the handicap section? The craziest

1:07:50

thing is this was filmed

1:07:52

in Tampa Florida and it's

1:07:54

never snowed there before. They

1:07:56

started arresting her. The weather's

1:07:58

really what the f- Her

1:08:00

eyes go completely back and

1:08:02

she's like, oh, I can't

1:08:04

trust me, I can make

1:08:06

it a whole like codum.

1:08:08

Remember the Texas freeze? That

1:08:10

was me. Do I guys,

1:08:12

how is she sweating? It's

1:08:14

freezing. Can we go to

1:08:16

this car right here? A

1:08:18

swarm of locus. We're gonna

1:08:20

stay on the sidewalk right

1:08:22

here. I swear to God

1:08:24

if I can't check off

1:08:26

or a citizen cane tomorrow

1:08:28

at 3 p.m. I'm gonna

1:08:30

kill somebody. It's gonna get

1:08:32

real windy here. Oh, baby,

1:08:34

I will summon Rosebud! So,

1:08:37

motherfucky quick! I said this

1:08:39

really funny thought of them

1:08:41

tying her to the back

1:08:43

of the police car. It's

1:08:45

like a Christmas tree? Like

1:08:47

a rope? Jesus dragged all

1:08:49

the way to the police.

1:08:51

He's just rolling the road.

1:08:53

She's destroying the rug. She's

1:08:55

not injured at all. She's

1:08:57

not injured at all. She's

1:08:59

not injured at all. She's

1:09:01

not injured at all. She's

1:09:03

not injured at all. She's

1:09:05

not injured at all. She's

1:09:07

not injured at all. She's

1:09:09

not injured. She's not injured.

1:09:11

She's not injured. She's not

1:09:13

injured. She's not injured. All

1:09:15

right, oh leisure. Her legs

1:09:17

are fine. Why you tie

1:09:19

me into this rope? It's

1:09:21

like water skiing, she's supposed

1:09:23

to. We're street cleaning. Oh

1:09:25

god, good for, well let

1:09:27

me hope, well wait, what

1:09:30

happened here? As Talisha was

1:09:32

charged with resisting obstructing, she

1:09:34

is innocent until proven guilty

1:09:36

in a court of law.

1:09:38

My great. In court, she

1:09:40

damn right she's innocent. Damn

1:09:42

right she's innocent until proven

1:09:44

guilty. Carna, what is this,

1:09:46

uh, Nazi in black face?

1:09:48

I don't even know, I

1:09:50

think it might be a

1:09:52

skin condition, actually. I don't

1:09:54

even know what's going on,

1:09:56

but he's just trying to

1:09:58

wrap. It's just one of

1:10:00

these things. You know when

1:10:02

you just scroll on Instagram

1:10:04

all day and you're like,

1:10:06

how did I get here?

1:10:08

Oh. It might be tattoos?

1:10:10

Let's see. Those are tattoos

1:10:12

with a beard over it

1:10:14

for sure. He's wrapping along

1:10:16

to runaway? No, I think

1:10:18

it's makeup. He

1:10:21

goes, let me post it anyway,

1:10:23

that was the best I got.

1:10:25

Oh, that sucks. They borrowed me.

1:10:27

Didn't see the bigger plan when

1:10:29

they laughed, they did it candidly.

1:10:32

Ran out of gas, not anyone

1:10:34

never landed a hand to me.

1:10:36

Just drew me some trash when

1:10:38

they passed. You won't have any

1:10:40

fun, you'll have to show, oh,

1:10:42

come on, fuck, man. He goes,

1:10:44

let me post it anyway, that

1:10:46

was the best I got. Oh,

1:10:48

that sucks. Why would they do

1:10:50

that? That guy sucks. What's this

1:10:52

guy? What's this guy? Got it.

1:10:54

Oh, this is one of those

1:10:57

pedophile hunters. Predator gets caught trying

1:10:59

to meet a 14 year old

1:11:01

girl and starts thanking the catchers.

1:11:03

I couldn't find the full video.

1:11:05

He's like, thank you guys, you

1:11:07

guys got me out of my

1:11:09

own hell. Truly, it's him. Y'all

1:11:11

doing the work. You know, like

1:11:13

guys, I guess, are evil. What

1:11:15

do they call that, a virtuous

1:11:17

pedophile? The hell does it start?

1:11:20

No this, I know this is

1:11:22

happening. Whoa, look at his eyes.

1:11:24

Oh my god. He looks like

1:11:26

fucking crillen from Dragon Ball Zee.

1:11:28

That's crazy. Oh my god. Thank

1:11:30

you. That's like, oh he's retarded.

1:11:32

That's like pedophile, like, like the

1:11:34

evolution of the pedophile we're like.

1:11:36

start putting your eyes like farther

1:11:38

apart on the side of your

1:11:40

head so you can see more

1:11:43

like yeah it's like you know

1:11:45

like pray you know yeah you

1:11:47

know gamers get like the dent

1:11:49

on their head from like the

1:11:51

headphones yeah that's from looking at

1:11:53

little children's booties yeah it's crazy

1:11:55

all around you because like what

1:11:57

you guys are doing yeah it's

1:11:59

actually smart That's the actual people

1:12:01

that you do try to catch

1:12:03

right? Well, we just caught you.

1:12:05

Yeah, I know No, I noted

1:12:08

good job. That's actually quite a

1:12:10

genius move because I'm actually pedophile

1:12:12

I'm a pedophile You guys got

1:12:14

me. So I'm gonna I was

1:12:16

going to fuck kids if you

1:12:18

didn't catch me Oh, that's actually

1:12:20

smart to stop. I just wanted

1:12:22

to say Touchet so well done

1:12:24

well done so where do you

1:12:26

guys want a curbs on me?

1:12:28

Which alley would you guys want

1:12:31

to take me into and pour

1:12:33

hot sauce down my mouth and

1:12:35

then have Thai dollus on curbs

1:12:37

on me? Where do you want

1:12:39

to shave my head? I have

1:12:41

one request though one request can

1:12:43

a little kid do it? Can

1:12:45

a little kid kill me. Expect

1:12:47

that what you guys are doing

1:12:49

right? But you also admit that

1:12:51

what you guys do? I'll just

1:12:53

be very dangerous. Like how? I

1:12:56

can kill you. I can kill

1:12:58

you with my bare hands. Really

1:13:00

good. Karate. So... I'm highly dangerous.

1:13:02

So... I can kill you with

1:13:04

my bare fucking hands. It'd be

1:13:06

really easy. So, it's really dangerous.

1:13:08

I'll break your nose bullet up

1:13:10

in your brain. I'll let you

1:13:12

in your fucking solar plexus. Ever

1:13:14

heard of it? I know every

1:13:16

single pressure point on your body.

1:13:19

I have a temple? Yeah. So

1:13:21

it's just simple, you're out. I

1:13:23

go palm, bottom nose, bone, straight

1:13:25

through your fucking ring. You're dead.

1:13:27

Petafile. So they come up, and

1:13:29

then what do they also come

1:13:31

with the group of guys? We

1:13:33

don't care. Nobody could get hurt.

1:13:35

But what if it's like me

1:13:37

and my petafile crew? We roll

1:13:39

deep. I have a posse of

1:13:42

pedophiles and like, dude, you're lucky

1:13:44

they were here today. Because, like,

1:13:46

you know, we would have, like,

1:13:48

you know, killed you. I do

1:13:50

not have a sucker crew. You

1:13:52

think I roll with a bunch

1:13:54

of suckers? I mean, I do,

1:13:56

technically. Technically, technically they are suckers.

1:13:58

But like, listen guys, I roll

1:14:00

deep. On all ten toz, I

1:14:02

mean, you're molesting, I mean, you're

1:14:04

molesting. I know what I know

1:14:07

what I did was wrong. That

1:14:09

I understand. I'm a pedophile and

1:14:11

you're a good guy. You don't

1:14:13

get it? You don't get it

1:14:15

man? Yes. But most guys do

1:14:17

it and they don't care and

1:14:19

they fight back or they do

1:14:21

whatever, right? So you're the exception?

1:14:23

He's like, he goes, dude, my

1:14:25

sunglasses on the top of my

1:14:27

fucking head, I'm dangerous. Okay? He

1:14:30

goes, dude, if you guys heard

1:14:32

about school shootings, aren't those things

1:14:34

fucking horrible? One less kid! You're

1:14:36

wrong, you understand? Yes. Okay, do

1:14:38

you suffer from any mental disabilities?

1:14:40

Any physical disabilities? Uh, I don't

1:14:42

know if you're looking at me

1:14:44

right now, but I'm sharp as

1:14:46

a attack. Do I suffer from

1:14:48

any mental disabilities? Uh, no. Is

1:14:50

Einstein? No, I don't think so.

1:14:53

He's like, no, no, no, nothing.

1:14:55

They're like, really. Nothing at all.

1:14:57

Huh? No, no. He's, he's, he's,

1:14:59

he goes, I have the greatest

1:15:01

brain on earth. So big it's

1:15:03

spreading my head apart. I'm I'm

1:15:05

I'm so far from from your

1:15:07

regular simpletons I've evolved Mm-hmm Physical

1:15:09

like what do you mean by

1:15:11

physical? Well, do you have any

1:15:13

apart? Disabilities whatsoever like I may

1:15:15

count like noonens because like what's

1:15:18

noon? It involves like my um

1:15:20

I'm a retarded pedophile of course

1:15:22

I have disabilities My noon is

1:15:24

constant. Disabilities. Uh, it's actually one

1:15:26

of fuck kids. Uh, listen, uh,

1:15:28

are you guys like fucking dumb?

1:15:30

I mean neurodiversion petified. Who knows

1:15:32

intense karate? Boom, solarplexus cat! Boom!

1:15:34

You're done! Boom! No's bone into

1:15:36

your head. Put the sex elbow

1:15:38

on your chest? Heart, stop feeding.

1:15:41

Press point right here, you're done.

1:15:43

Paralyzed. Like I've been judged because

1:15:45

I hate. Yeah, yeah. A lot

1:15:47

of people judge me because I'm

1:15:49

in the pedophile. Upset. Okay. But

1:15:51

we're not gonna judge you on

1:15:53

your height. Thank you. Right? Like

1:15:55

I love people. you have sex

1:15:57

with children. Yeah, that's okay. No,

1:15:59

no, we're judging you because you

1:16:01

have sex with children. They're like,

1:16:03

wait, do you think that you

1:16:06

could have sex children because you're

1:16:08

the height of a child? I

1:16:10

don't know if you understand that's

1:16:12

now how that works. He goes,

1:16:14

oh, touche. Touche, my man, you're

1:16:16

smart. Touche, that's now, that works.

1:16:18

He goes, oh, tou. Touche, my

1:16:20

man, my man, you're, my man,

1:16:22

my man. My man, my man,

1:16:24

my man, my man, my man,

1:16:26

my man, my man, and my

1:16:29

man, and my man, you, and

1:16:31

my man, and my man, and

1:16:33

my man, and my man, and

1:16:35

my man, you, and my man,

1:16:37

and my man, and my man,

1:16:39

and I, and my, and I,

1:16:41

and I, you, and my, and

1:16:43

my, and my, and my, and

1:16:45

my, and my, and my, and

1:16:47

my, and my, Because we're very

1:16:49

dangerous. What's good? You are ruining

1:16:52

my fucking day though. This is

1:16:54

not fun for me. I am

1:16:56

not having a good time here.

1:16:58

You know, you come to the

1:17:00

dollar tree to fuck a child

1:17:02

and you get like bombarded by

1:17:04

you guys. Once again, dude, touche,

1:17:06

you guys do a great thing.

1:17:08

But some people, yeah, I stand

1:17:10

up for them, like, because people

1:17:12

who can't stand up for themselves.

1:17:14

Right. I try to do that

1:17:17

too. Damn I know it's like

1:17:19

I looked on YouTube I was

1:17:21

trying to find the video so

1:17:23

I hope it's on the ones

1:17:25

where they like smack the shit

1:17:27

out of them and stuff Yeah,

1:17:29

so I found it was on

1:17:31

YouTube and I found out that

1:17:33

that like full the YouTube page

1:17:35

that posted it. They nuked their

1:17:37

entire page. Damn. So no one

1:17:40

can find it. Please send Man

1:17:42

the fucking the like The the

1:17:44

highly skilled Jason born like autistic

1:17:46

pedophile. Oh yeah, the count's in

1:17:48

pedophile. Counting pedophile. Yeah, he beats

1:17:50

the hunter up with like a

1:17:52

book, you know, in Morocco, just

1:17:54

flying through window to window. He

1:17:56

beats him up with captain underpants.

1:17:58

Well, you know, I think we,

1:18:00

uh, I think we did some

1:18:03

good work here today. Yeah. Yeah.

1:18:05

What do you guys think? I

1:18:07

like this one a lot. A

1:18:09

lot. I love you more. I

1:18:11

think I love you more than

1:18:13

I don't know. That man. What?

1:18:15

I've been thinking about you a

1:18:17

lot. Come on, dude. Like, on

1:18:19

different levels than you think about

1:18:21

me, anything. Sexually? No, not sexually,

1:18:23

but I do want to like

1:18:25

hold you. Oh, I have, I've

1:18:28

always wanted the whole thing. I

1:18:30

think about holding you a lot.

1:18:32

So I think about that, but

1:18:34

you. I want to kiss, you're

1:18:36

beautiful little. You want to kiss

1:18:38

me on the lips? No, just

1:18:40

your top. You little cherub cheeks.

1:18:42

And you're big, you're, you're, you're

1:18:44

fucking, you're serpico beard? I look

1:18:46

like serpico. You do look kind

1:18:48

of like serpico. I look like

1:18:51

coral urban, or serpico. Yeah. A

1:18:53

lot of people, I get that

1:18:55

all the time. Carl urban? People

1:18:57

say, yo, you're coral urban, you

1:18:59

have the same beard, you're, who's

1:19:01

that? Judge Dread, Judge Dread. Oh,

1:19:03

yeah. How are you doing, Johnny,

1:19:05

how is life treating you? It's

1:19:07

fine. Busy shit. Busy? I'm busy

1:19:09

shit. I'm busy shit. You're just

1:19:11

waking up fucking throwing your head

1:19:13

in the ice water. He's got

1:19:16

good stuff. Running full sprint. What

1:19:18

do you guys fill me? John,

1:19:20

you really should do all this.

1:19:22

But it's me. I would love

1:19:24

to see a John's routine. Vietnamese

1:19:26

woman clipping my to my toenails.

1:19:28

Just go like this. You're like,

1:19:30

can I have that? And you

1:19:32

eat it. I'm picking my teeth

1:19:34

with it. Look at your office,

1:19:36

shake the guard's hands. Well, you

1:19:39

don't live here, right? No, no,

1:19:41

no, no. No, great up. patron.com/hatewatch

1:19:43

podcast, join it. Even if you

1:19:45

don't want to pay for all

1:19:47

the extra stuff, which I highly

1:19:49

recommend you do, you could pay

1:19:51

for the five and, you know,

1:19:53

get four extra episodes a month,

1:19:55

or you could pay 20. and

1:19:57

get 11. 11. 11 extra episodes

1:19:59

a month. So it's up to

1:20:02

you. We, I. Well, you also

1:20:04

get the regular page room, so

1:20:06

it's 16. Total value of the

1:20:08

$20 or a tear is like

1:20:10

16 episodes a month. Yeah? No,

1:20:12

it's 11. Oh. Does he get

1:20:14

the two? Oh, you're right. My

1:20:16

bad. Yeah. But more stuff's coming

1:20:18

in the pipe. But on the

1:20:20

jock week, there is some really

1:20:22

tremendous episodes, and I don't believe

1:20:24

in, I don't believe in promotion

1:20:27

or lying, really, really, really, I

1:20:29

will say that there is some

1:20:31

really tremendous stuff on the jockwigs

1:20:33

that we have. So there's a

1:20:35

whole artisanal of shit there. It's

1:20:37

our best stuff. You know, Johnny

1:20:39

and I, we bought some new

1:20:41

equipment. We have some stuff, hopefully

1:20:43

planned, some random crap. Johnny and

1:20:45

I, we bought some new equipment.

1:20:47

We have some stuff, hopefully planned,

1:20:50

some random crap. Johnny got mobile,

1:20:52

might not even be podcast stuff.

1:20:54

We're coming in the mountains or

1:20:56

in the... Go into a new

1:20:58

town and we wander. And this

1:21:00

isn't going to be a new

1:21:02

tier. We're going to add it

1:21:04

to the existing tiers. So you

1:21:06

guys get more stuff. Also, Jack

1:21:08

Week, which many people think is

1:21:10

way too mean because they're like,

1:21:13

what the heck? Goof gun. What

1:21:15

did I say? Goof gun. What

1:21:17

did I say? Goof gun. Goof

1:21:19

gun. What did I say? Goof

1:21:21

gun. Goof gun. No. It's not

1:21:23

like we watch Evelyn. We watch

1:21:25

Evelyn. You gotta, you just gotta,

1:21:27

you just gotta, you just gotta,

1:21:29

Evelyn. It's like patio. Oh, Evelyn,

1:21:31

how are you my sweet girl?

1:21:33

She looks good. Whenever she's getting,

1:21:35

when was this 17 hours ago?

1:21:38

Oh man, the- The burden of

1:21:40

my mouth! They burned her fucking

1:21:42

bad. She's actually maybe at the

1:21:44

end of her rub because this

1:21:46

one just says God help me.

1:21:48

She's done that a thousand times.

1:21:50

She restarts with the guy. She

1:21:52

looks like she kind of lives

1:21:54

on like a lily pad. Yeah.

1:21:56

She looks like a big angry

1:21:58

stressed out toad. Yeah. She eats

1:22:01

flies. Yeah. She's a big toad.

1:22:03

Evelyn's a damn toad. Well, not

1:22:05

much in that video Evelyn. Let's

1:22:07

come on. Make him a little

1:22:09

better. Make him tighter. How's your

1:22:11

tongue? Oh, it's oh one half

1:22:13

is red half is red half

1:22:15

is red half's white. They're fucking

1:22:17

burning the shit out of her

1:22:19

Trudeau My scalp is her scalp

1:22:21

is full of lumps now. Yeah,

1:22:23

we need to send her 12

1:22:26

and they're choking her and suffocating

1:22:28

me God hurry stop them. We

1:22:30

need to send her to hedonism

1:22:32

to fucking. What is a unit?

1:22:34

You know, four 12 go to

1:22:36

Canada and find any apartment with

1:22:38

unit four 12 and look for

1:22:40

Eve and save her and save

1:22:42

her Jesus Christ. Trudeau's in Blackfish

1:22:44

just dumped a poison to her

1:22:46

pants. Oh, fuck. Mmm. Evelyn. This

1:22:49

is not good, Evelyn. I want

1:22:51

to tell you what they're doing

1:22:53

to me and I'm going to

1:22:55

be a branched, dog-braning out of

1:22:57

the sky. I made out my

1:22:59

couch. A bird? My dad. Yeah,

1:23:01

checking. They were sapped in my

1:23:03

belly button. Oh, there's a new

1:23:05

belly button. That's a new one.

1:23:07

Yeah, yeah. I've never heard them

1:23:09

sapped that. Well, because they forgot,

1:23:12

she had, they go, why don't

1:23:14

we zap the belly button? They

1:23:16

go, what do we? They're using

1:23:18

KyleXY technology, you know what I

1:23:20

mean? It's like, what the fuck

1:23:22

did you just say? Who are

1:23:24

you? What's your name? He goes,

1:23:26

stand up, kid. It's a moneyball

1:23:28

moment. He's in the garage. He

1:23:30

goes, a lot of balls for

1:23:32

a fucking intern, man. I like

1:23:34

that. It's crazy. When I pointed

1:23:37

you, you talk. Go ahead. Zap

1:23:39

in the what? Sorry, I was

1:23:41

just saying we should zap, Evelyn's

1:23:43

belly button. Yeah, they're like, we've

1:23:45

done the third leg. And they

1:23:47

go, why the fuck, have not

1:23:49

you idiots come up with that?

1:23:51

Come on, sweat big! That's leaking,

1:23:53

like, fluids coming out of my

1:23:55

belly butt. But they're ditty big,

1:23:57

you know what it's like? It's

1:24:00

like an electrical sappen to my

1:24:02

private area. My baby is so

1:24:04

much so much. Sir, nobody's ever

1:24:06

zapped a belly button with electricity.

1:24:08

That's my private subject for him.

1:24:10

Oh my god, Evelyn. You gotta

1:24:12

take a walk, sweetheart. Take a

1:24:14

walk, open the door, leave the

1:24:16

apartment. By the way, we're like

1:24:18

the only pod that I know

1:24:20

of in the world who's trying

1:24:23

to call attention to what they're

1:24:25

doing. I mean, yeah, she's being

1:24:27

zapped, she's being burned. Her son

1:24:29

is being burned. No one, I

1:24:31

don't see anyone talking about it.

1:24:33

No one's covering. Rogan, nobody. Yeah.

1:24:35

This poor woman. She and then

1:24:37

silent. It's embarrassing to me actually.

1:24:39

She's been burned for years. Pussy

1:24:41

is completely deformed. I've heard like

1:24:43

everywhere from inside around the outside

1:24:45

of everything. And they stopped my

1:24:48

phone. My mother. She's the perfect

1:24:50

organism. Truly the perfect organism, she

1:24:52

can survive anything. Yesterday, yesterday, she

1:24:54

has, she changes shirts well. They've

1:24:56

launched me into the vacuum of

1:24:58

space. I've survived every environment they've

1:25:00

put me in. I've survived the

1:25:02

tiny interior of a volcano. They

1:25:04

get me a liquid nitrogen. I

1:25:06

survive at you. We're gonna fuck

1:25:08

you. Sickly. Let's run the streets,

1:25:11

what you're saying. I give the

1:25:13

government a... They try to free

1:25:15

you. Break me. I mean Canada,

1:25:17

Canada's sick man. And those guys

1:25:19

and stuff. It's a super solter

1:25:21

program. Oh, this one, she's outside,

1:25:23

I think. Oh, she's so much

1:25:25

better. She's so much better. She's

1:25:27

so much better. She's so much

1:25:29

better. She's some side. She's some

1:25:31

side. She's some side. She looks

1:25:33

adorable. She needs to go on

1:25:36

little walks, yeah. You can see

1:25:38

your craters in her nose. She

1:25:40

looks adorable here with her little

1:25:42

outfit on. She looks like she

1:25:44

kind of hangs out with like

1:25:46

a... like a talking dog or

1:25:48

something. It is like a sailboat

1:25:50

or something. Like she looks like

1:25:52

very, she looks like she's in

1:25:54

like a children's story here. And

1:25:56

they just blasted me, I think,

1:25:59

from a car, but there's a

1:26:01

lot of men who hang out

1:26:03

at the building too. And I

1:26:05

couldn't breathe it. They're so scary.

1:26:07

That breaks my heart actually. I

1:26:09

don't know why that got me.

1:26:11

That just made me sad the

1:26:13

way she said that. Blasting her

1:26:15

from a car? That they're blasting

1:26:17

her from cars? The match you're

1:26:19

doing to a drive by burning.

1:26:22

Blasting her. Just like a sonic

1:26:24

ray from driving by. You just,

1:26:26

you're just driving, you just put

1:26:28

your, you're like, boom. It's a

1:26:30

bunch of dogs. It's pointing sideways.

1:26:32

A bunch of men in black

1:26:34

and a Chevy. It's just trying.

1:26:36

We're gonna burn Evelyn. Must be

1:26:38

an inclusive gentleman away. You can't

1:26:40

breathe. The blasting are from cars.

1:26:42

I just can't wait to find

1:26:44

out this is all performance art.

1:26:47

I would love that. That'd be

1:26:49

amazing. She's like Randy Kaufman. Yeah,

1:26:51

you go to groundlings and Evelyn's

1:26:53

on stage. Who knows? Well, God

1:26:55

bless you all. Patron on Com

1:26:57

slash Hey Watch podcast. Good night.

1:26:59

And also they saw something. That

1:27:01

the that I upload

1:27:03

the episodes later

1:27:05

and later, it

1:27:07

literally comes out

1:27:10

every Monday at 7 a.m

1:27:12

You know I .m. I

1:27:14

about about aren't there

1:27:16

has been a a

1:27:18

year or two,

1:27:20

it and before

1:27:22

that, it was it

1:27:24

so I made

1:27:26

it earlier. there

1:27:28

there some places

1:27:30

that don't recognize

1:27:32

the same daylight

1:27:35

savings? I don't know.

1:27:37

I believe there

1:27:39

are, that was

1:27:41

my, think was countries.

1:27:43

Right, so I

1:27:45

think that was

1:27:47

Yeah, other from a

1:27:49

different country that

1:27:51

was just that

1:27:53

guy from another

1:27:55

country. a different Fat

1:27:58

guy Retarted guy from Because

1:28:00

that was like

1:28:02

the episode guy in

1:28:04

a little city. another

1:28:06

country. another fat guy

1:28:08

in a little

1:28:10

jacket. guy Fat

1:28:12

guy in a

1:28:14

little jacket. a little

1:28:16

coat. little I

1:28:18

mean, Yeah, I I

1:28:21

mean, I I could...

1:28:23

I guess I

1:28:25

could start scheduling

1:28:27

them for 4

1:28:29

a .m., so people

1:28:31

in New York

1:28:33

can get it

1:28:35

at .m. Black for

1:28:37

might get it

1:28:39

.m. I in New

1:28:41

guy to get it at

1:28:43

7 a.m. I Say

1:28:46

7 a .m. All

1:28:48

right, anyway, folks,

1:28:50

love you. I

1:28:52

Bye, bye, bye. 7

1:28:54

a.m.