0:18

["Just Before I

0:20

Guess I Will"] You

0:29

motherfuckers you motherfuckers

0:33

Cook cooks cookies quickly, huh?

0:35

That's my new tongue

0:37

twister the practice cooks cook

0:39

cookies quickly. It's hard

0:42

No, cook cooks cookies quickly

0:44

cook cooks quick. It's

0:46

hard. Cook cooks. Cook Cook

0:50

cookies quickly cook cook

0:52

cookies quickly no cook

0:55

Cook cooks cookies quickly

0:57

cook cooks cookies quickly. Yeah, what

0:59

about how now brown cow

1:01

San Diego which is whales that

1:03

was easy, right? I found

1:05

one that was hard for myself

1:07

I wasn't even doing a

1:09

goof. I noticed myself like Stumbling

1:11

over words. Well, how about

1:13

I have many other mountain books in

1:15

my apartment That's not even a

1:17

tongue twister. You're just doing anchorman

1:26

Okay, you ain't first you let

1:28

your last okay, that's pretty good Right,

1:32

let's just try this quote. Let's

1:34

quote apatow. Let's work Let's

1:37

quote Adam McKay universe movies. Okay.

1:39

I'm like a peacock. I

1:41

feel like a peacock. Yeah, let

1:43

me fly. Yeah Thanks

1:47

for the f -shack. They're signed dirty Mike and

1:49

the boys. I love that. That's a good thing

1:51

I was the best one. Yeah, the best joke

1:53

in the movie When

1:55

what's the rod regal goes? Yeah, we found

1:57

a deer vagina in the car. We thought

2:00

was a human ear, but no. French is always

2:02

a deer vagina. What

2:05

a time. That's, I genuinely think

2:07

that's the most underrated comedy of all

2:09

time. The other guys. I

2:11

think Strange Wilderness is up there well.

2:13

Strange Wilderness fucking kills me. But

2:16

the other guys is truly like on all

2:18

accounts, it nails everything it's going for.

2:20

Michael Keaton is unbelievable in that movie. Yeah,

2:22

well, how about? That was the, he

2:24

came back from a thing. Oh yeah, yeah,

2:26

yeah, that was me. Everybody was like,

2:28

wow, he looks so old. He's been gone

2:30

so long and then he just like

2:32

stayed and kept doing stuff. Dude, his speech

2:34

at Bed Bath and Beyond and he

2:36

confuses the two jobs. And

2:39

he goes, he goes, all right people,

2:41

new bath mats are in, full moon,

2:43

people are going to go nuts. And

2:46

then he goes, by the way, there's a

2:48

zero rapist in Crown Heights. You live in

2:50

Crown Heights, walking pairs. Oops, that's the wrong,

2:52

just regard that. Well, don't just regard that,

2:54

you live in Crown Heights, do you walk

2:56

in pairs? It's so funny, buddy. Nox

2:59

goes away, masterpiece. Nox goes away. What

3:01

about it? Who? You can dodge your wrench,

3:03

you can dodge your ball. Oh yeah.

3:05

I watched the cable guy recently. What about

3:08

this one, what about this one? Lois.

3:14

Let's go to the Clam, let's

3:16

drink it. What if I hit

3:19

my, Digity, digity, digity, digity, digity.

3:21

I hit my head, I went,

3:23

oh, that's my favorite. Tongue twister.

3:25

I want to do a whole

3:27

episode where it's like I just

3:29

got lobotomized. Yeah. I

3:34

hate those movies. Fuck

3:37

off. I didn't think the other guys

3:39

was funny. I love it. We

3:41

got the biggest fight last night. You

3:43

suck. Shut the fuck up. Devon

3:45

sucks, he sucks. Devon blows, let's do

3:47

this again, dude. What was Devon's

3:49

stage? Devon called us all pretentious, then

3:51

proceeded to be the most pretentious

3:53

movie -giller of all time. Devon, Devon,

3:55

it was funny because we all were

3:57

in the car, we all challenged

3:59

each other. out there to our four

4:01

top movies. I had no clue.

4:03

Everybody, tell me your four top

4:05

movies knowing that they be varied

4:08

and different for each of us.

4:10

And Devin refused to tell his

4:12

because I knew everyone was a

4:14

Scorsese movie. You said that. You

4:16

said that. You said that. You're

4:18

not sure. There's some tarantino in

4:20

there. Come on. Do you remember?

4:23

Do you remember going down? It's

4:25

hard. It's time to think about it.

4:27

I'm going to go Amelia Perez.

4:30

Lawland's The artist, the

4:32

artist, the artist and wicked.

4:34

Amelia Perez, well really. Amelia

4:36

Perez is about, welcome to

4:39

Jockweek I think. Oh yeah,

4:41

Jockweek. No, for sure, yes.

4:43

Amelia Perez is, I don't, it

4:45

feels like we're not in a real

4:47

reality. Do you guys know what the

4:50

movie is? No. Okay, so it's about

4:52

a drug cartel kingpin who wants to

4:54

transition into a woman. Oh God,

4:57

well they shut the phone.

4:59

And Zoe Saldana plays the

5:01

lawyer, so he abandons the

5:04

family, becomes a lady, but

5:06

he wants his kids back.

5:08

So he like misdoubt fires

5:11

his own family as a

5:13

trans. English? Why? That's the

5:15

cartel leader. Zoe Saldana.

5:20

Are you English? English?

5:22

Oh my God. No,

5:24

I'm not English. So

5:27

wait, who's in the, the,

5:29

the, the trans persons

5:31

in the cartel? The trans

5:33

person is the head of

5:35

the cartel. The head of

5:37

the cartel, and the cartel

5:39

is no problem. I haven't

5:41

seen this movie by the

5:43

way, Valerie watches. Cartel doesn't

5:45

chop her tranny head off.

5:47

They don't know, she fucking

5:49

disappeared and became a woman.

5:51

She's hiding. Oh, nobody can

5:53

tell. No, which is also

5:55

egregious, it looks exactly the

5:57

same. The cartel is six

5:59

foot eight. No, because

6:03

you are

6:06

pretty. Why

6:08

is this

6:11

chick palming

6:14

a

6:16

basketball?

6:18

She's

6:20

doing

6:22

a

6:24

360

6:27

dunk. The,

6:29

uh, font in right there. What

6:31

the hell is this? Internet? Why

6:33

is it covered by the

6:35

mountain? You're going to see

6:37

it over this day. I think

6:39

that's cool. Pretty stupid. And

6:42

you guys, fuck you. That's

6:44

cool, Evan. That's cool. Yeah.

6:47

Actually, it's pretty good. I have

6:49

a name. Like, hey guys, the

6:51

new hot broad on the cruise.

6:53

She just needs my

6:56

tire. No, our

6:58

new boss is

7:00

cool as fuck

7:02

she gave me

7:04

up ease yesterday.

7:06

She's not tapping

7:08

me. She's just

7:10

low-bridged guy.

7:13

She's playing

7:16

soccer really

7:18

good. She's running

7:20

off. Being anonymous.

7:23

I don't think it's worth

7:25

talking. She plays the wife

7:27

of the transperson? Yeah. They

7:29

stay together? No. Oh. He

7:31

disappears. Oh, right, right, right.

7:33

But then he comes back.

7:35

It's like, be the nanny

7:38

to his kids, I think.

7:40

He wants his family back.

7:42

Oh, you're an actual Mrs.

7:44

Outfire. I'm literally, Mrs. Downfire.

7:46

It's just, it's just, Miss,

7:48

Miss Downfire. Fucking unbelievable and

7:50

she's like, I'm not your

7:52

dad. This movie's like winning awards

7:54

by the way. Yeah, yeah. I

7:56

think this is the villain of

7:58

the year for. Sure,

8:07

I'm going to chase, to

8:10

listen. was.

8:18

Yeah.

8:22

Hmm.

8:28

The fucking thing! His response

8:30

was very... God, he's fucking

8:32

queers. Yeah. I'm tired of

8:34

this line. All right? I'm done

8:37

with the show. It's been easy,

8:39

but he's just like, download, hit

8:41

man. Yeah. He's sneaking in tunnels

8:44

and shoot his cock off with

8:46

a silence handgun. Fuck you.

8:48

This movie is like another

8:50

movie. You know, I'm just

8:52

gonna I'm just gonna like tell you about terrorists

8:55

is the guy the game What if an actor

8:57

what if an actor from another

8:59

movie is in this way? I'm

9:02

just gonna be quiet the whole

9:04

episode. No! No! It's gonna be

9:06

quiet the whole episode. It's gonna

9:08

be quiet the whole episode. That's

9:11

crazy. We quite, I mean, I

9:13

wasn't trying to, you guys started

9:15

it. I didn't get a

9:18

chance for last week. That

9:20

was an involuntary response. No,

9:22

he's being... You're being angry.

9:24

I have to cool. This

9:27

is good. See, I got

9:29

this. You're really good at

9:31

coming back from bums.

9:33

You're great. You're great.

9:36

You're really good. You're

9:38

really good at up.

9:40

You're really good at

9:42

coming back from bums.

9:45

You doubled down. You're

9:47

really good at coming back

9:49

from bums. A great bomb

9:51

comeback. You doubled down and

9:54

you came out to the

9:56

other side. You're taking a

9:58

lot of it. I got

10:00

a cool off Taking

10:03

a walk after Bobby is the new

10:05

is the new move You

10:09

know just deep breath remember when we wanted

10:11

to put a hack cage in the room Like

10:17

in the charty McDonough's episode

10:20

John's the box Oh

10:28

Man Yeah, it's funny to

10:30

be like hey, we said the the bomb

10:32

cage and we're like well that would just become

10:34

John's Dunscap

10:40

It's just become a funny thing where we're

10:42

now like gas lighting him I think

10:45

a dunce cap would be fun actually let's

10:47

do that the beneath you Yeah, so

10:49

there's a hate to have to wear a

10:51

dunce. Yeah, but it'll be bomb Just

10:53

be a forefather said as a dunce cap

10:57

Do not disrespect for

10:59

Get a cap it'll be like a hack

11:01

cap Hackone We'll

11:03

go put on the hat a fez.

11:05

That's a good one. I like this

11:07

a lot like that. We're so

11:09

much, we're just exactly like the trees I I

11:15

think we're better we're keeping comedy

11:17

fucking chip chipper son over here Fat

11:20

fatter son. Oh, yeah, huh,

11:22

but a bag fag fatter

11:25

son potato chip jitters Potato

11:29

chip chipper, so what if I fucking

11:31

ain't told you about there's a something

11:34

you like about there's No, no, it

11:36

was a finish you or something What

11:39

if it was like What

11:43

if

11:46

it

11:48

was like a

11:50

melee present like Sicario,

11:52

I uh, anyways I

12:00

thought it'd be funny if Denise Little

12:02

Toro went through all the tunnels and

12:04

then stole a car to cut off

12:06

a cartel leader's dick. I thought that was

12:08

a funny idea. We know. Yeah, we know

12:10

you thought that was funny. I think that's

12:12

funny. I thought that was funny. I thought

12:14

that was funny. I like maybe go

12:16

deeper into the lore. That's why you

12:19

wear a shirt with post collapse on

12:21

it because it's always after one of

12:23

your jokes you're always living through. Right?

12:25

I'm trying to bomb worse than you and

12:27

you're still not catching on. I'm not letting

12:29

you. I'm not letting you. I've been worse

12:31

than you for the last 10 minutes. Not

12:33

letting you win. I'm not letting you win.

12:35

What is... Because you feel bad. Because Devin

12:38

has a deep empathetic part of him. He

12:40

truly wants all of his friends to succeed

12:42

and be happy and he does feel bad.

12:44

He does feel bad when he's mean. I

12:46

feel very bad, but I don't know. But

12:48

I can't. He's mean all the time, but

12:50

I can't. But he feels bad. So it's

12:52

nice. Oh, after Monday and Tuesday is when

12:54

Heywatch and Lemon Party come out all week,

12:56

I sit around kind of just being like, oh

12:58

my God, what are I doing? What do I

13:01

do? And then it just restarts every weekend, do

13:03

it all over again. But like Tuesday through Friday,

13:05

I'm like, I'm just biting my nails. What did

13:07

I say about that person? Horrible! They just had

13:09

to have a live! You mean like, should we

13:11

watch or? No, I'm kidding most. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

13:14

Just like, honestly, it's just mostly like the random

13:16

times I'll think back to just being like, fuck

13:18

you fag it! Like on the show! I'm like,

13:20

I've never met! I'm like, boy! I'm like, I've

13:22

never met! And I'm like, I've never met! And

13:25

I'm like, I've never got really mad at me for

13:27

the Lake and Riley and Riley thing. And Riley thing, and

13:29

Riley thing, and Riley thing, and I, and I mean, and

13:31

I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I

13:33

mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,

13:35

I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I

13:38

mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,

13:40

I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I

13:42

That was so, that was very crazy. They were just using

13:44

that because they already were, like, oh yeah. They wanted to

13:46

be, they wanted to be mad at you. I didn't even

13:49

think about that though, that's what I'm saying. That's like the

13:51

worst thing you could say about somebody. I didn't think about

13:53

it. It was very fun. I guess the meanest thing you've

13:55

ever said. Probably. It might be the meanest thing

13:57

I ever said on the show in a weird

13:59

way. The girl was killed

14:01

by a rapist. And

14:03

she's not pretty. And

14:06

we pull her pretty

14:08

sharp and you go

14:10

good ridders. I thought

14:12

potato chip chiperson was

14:14

pretty fucking mean. Shut

14:17

up, fatties. Huh? That's

14:19

cool man, I'm just

14:21

dumb. You think you

14:23

keep growing that beard?

14:26

You'll have a chin?

14:28

Never will. Uh-huh.

14:30

Yeah. All right. I'm sorry. I do

14:32

it. I know he break. Mora, now

14:34

he's getting all cut, Maurice, or sorry.

14:36

You look really good, by the way. Sure.

14:38

You do. You were looking really cool earlier

14:41

today. Oh, shut off. With the sun

14:43

glasses? The hair looks great. No, don't do

14:45

that. No, I'm not kidding. You look

14:47

like a guy in like a days, like

14:49

a cool guy and days are confused or

14:52

something, kind of. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

14:54

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The hair kind

14:56

of like transcends arrows. Thank you. You've made up for

14:58

the last 20 minutes. I think his hair transcends arrows.

15:00

Yeah, more like glazed and confused. Now you like my

15:02

fat ass. Nice. Now you like my hair. Yeah, well,

15:04

I don't like it. First of all, fuck you though.

15:06

When it's when it's when it's when it's... When it's...

15:08

When it's... When it's... First all, fuck you though. When

15:10

it's... When it's... When it's... When it's... When it's... When

15:12

it... When it's... When it... When it's... When it... When

15:14

it... When it... When it... When it... First all, it's...

15:16

When it... When it... When it's... When it... When it...

15:18

When it... When it... When it... When it... When it...

15:20

When it's... When it... When it... When it... When it...

15:22

When it... When it... When it... First all... When it...

15:24

When it... Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Devils reject

15:27

egg. Yeah. And I love you guys.

15:29

I love you too, when you're being

15:31

nice to me. I love you. You

15:33

know, when you're not letting me bomb.

15:35

I love everyone here. Me

15:37

bombing is not. I love everyone

15:39

here. I love everyone here. I

15:42

love everyone here. I love you too.

15:44

Love you too, buddy. Yeah. Love

15:46

everyone. Blessings, though. Well. Not actually

15:48

done. A lot of them. Pretty

15:50

cool. A lot of them. No,

15:52

I love your mom too.

15:55

Just keeps going. I love

15:57

my first dog. Oh, sheba.

16:00

No, that my first dog was

16:02

Zoe. What the fuck? She heard a

16:04

second dog. Yeah, I raped

16:06

Zoe at that time. She

16:08

early loved her. I loved

16:10

her. Turned her to a

16:12

flashlight. Fair little flesh. You

16:15

can say it. The guy's

16:17

talking about loving his dog.

16:19

I had a firey passion

16:21

for my dog. You're clapping

16:23

it's cheap. Also, this is

16:25

funny because I would be

16:27

like four years old. I

16:30

mean, it's a four year

16:32

old raping his family dog.

16:34

Imagine Ariaster movie. Imagine fucking

16:36

a dog missionary. You're

16:38

fucking a dog like

16:40

Rocco Sapri. Oh my

16:42

god, that's the funniest

16:44

thing. You put your

16:46

dog's legs on your

16:48

shoulder. And as your,

16:50

wait a minute, as

16:53

your fucking son. You're

16:55

choking your dog. As

16:57

you're fucking, as you're fucking

16:59

the dog missionary, you suck

17:01

off. One of, one of

17:03

six, nipple. You're going to

17:06

the team! You go let

17:08

me get the other one! What

17:11

was that? You're like, can

17:14

you go? Make out with

17:16

the dog! You're making it!

17:19

You're like, you're like, you're

17:21

like, you're like, you're like,

17:24

you put the dog on

17:26

its side, you have its

17:29

leg and the hand. You're

17:31

having lazy sex with

17:34

your dog. Oh,

17:36

fuck me! That's

17:38

a great visual

17:40

missionary dog sex.

17:42

And I love

17:44

the idea of

17:46

very sensually sucking

17:48

the tits. You're

17:50

rubbing the dogs

17:52

clit. You're making

17:54

the dog clon.

17:56

You're vibrating! The

17:58

dog's howling. You're

18:18

telling the dog come for

18:21

me let me know when you're

18:23

close let me know when

18:25

you're close your dog's a squirter

18:31

you're laying a towel down on your

18:33

bed to fuck your dog your mom

18:35

was like i think the dog peed

18:37

in the house but no that's actually

18:39

a myth it's not pee what

18:41

was the joke we had the other day it was

18:43

the guy dating a baby it

18:48

was more like harmless it was a guy dating

18:50

a baby and he's just on the phone joe

18:52

was like yes there

19:03

are the guys on the phone like mm -hmm.

19:05

Yes, no be homidate he's

19:11

dangling his keys in front of the hunt

19:13

phone i love it we

19:15

somehow that's because it's a a

19:17

pedophilic character but he's

19:19

not a pedophile he's

19:21

like dating a baby the

19:28

baby needs him because it's

19:30

calling him he's like a sugar

19:32

fish with the baby he's

19:35

had no boo with the baby

19:37

it's a ring pop that

19:44

made me laugh so hard it felt

19:46

like the wind got knocked out fucking

19:48

a dog missionaries hilarious that's

19:52

what Amelia Perez influences well i

19:54

think we did some good work

19:56

here guys have a good one

19:58

we went up so You know, let's

20:01

keep finishing this really Perez's

20:03

shit. And by the way,

20:05

Zoe Saldana, she's like Spanish

20:07

or something. Yeah, I think

20:09

she's Dominican. Or mix. She's

20:12

born, she's from New York. She

20:14

was at the, uh... She's Puerto

20:16

Rican or Dominican. She was at

20:18

the, the Globes. All the stars

20:21

are out. And she won an award

20:23

and she was like fully like, like,

20:25

hachachah, chah, the whole time on stage.

20:27

She was just like, oh, gee, gee, like, she

20:29

was fucking Latino. She was really

20:31

Latina. I've never seen her talk that

20:34

way. Yeah. I mean, all the, like, actress roundtable,

20:36

she's like really talking shit about Marvel movies. Really?

20:38

Yeah, not like directly, but just being like, I've

20:40

been a part of a lot of franchises that

20:42

feel like, you know, it's not really like acting.

20:45

But she's a part of the best one. She

20:47

is part of the best one. Are you complaining?

20:49

You don't get to talk any shit if you're

20:51

in Amelia Perez. Yeah. This looks like the worst

20:53

movie. That's what I'm saying. It's like, she was

20:56

saying that as if like this was her ultimate

20:58

comeback to real acting. And I'm like, well, I

21:00

mean. Yeah. It is it is the opposite of

21:02

a Marvel movie. Yeah, but the Guardians of Galaxy

21:04

is the only Marvel movie I consider

21:06

an actual movie. I love those movies.

21:09

I love this movie. Yeah, they're great.

21:11

Isn't that different? It is. It is. It is. How different

21:13

is it for a guy to put on a cape. I'm a

21:15

superhero and then a woman chops off her penis. Like, I'm a

21:17

lady. It's kind of the same thing. I mean, first of all,

21:19

who's the guy to direct those movies? James God. James God is

21:21

great. An amazing director and a great writer. Stop making superhero shit.

21:23

Because he's got to make money. I don't bless him. I don't

21:26

blame him. He's a billionaire at this point. He also. He's a

21:28

billionaire at this point. He also. He also. He also. He's a

21:30

superman. He's a superman. He's a superman. He's going to a superman.

21:32

He's going to a superman. He's going to a superman. He's going

21:34

to a. He's going to a. He's going to a. He's going

21:36

to a superman. He's going to a. He's going to a. He's

21:38

going to a. He's going He's the head of DC. Every DC

21:40

movie coming out is James Gunn. He's the, what is

21:42

the guy, the Marvel guy? Kevin Foggi,

21:44

yeah. Right, so he's the Kevin Foggi

21:47

now, but also directing. Yeah. He's, but

21:49

he's so talented that I really think

21:51

he could make, if he, any rights.

21:53

So if he wrote his own unique

21:55

shit and directed it, I'd be, I

21:57

would love to see that. Well, I

21:59

love Super. Is there

22:01

anger over uh, Captain America

22:03

being black now. No,

22:06

no, because that's I think I think that

22:08

happened. There's not like it's cannon to the

22:10

story. It's cannon. Yeah, It was the Falcon.

22:12

What pissed me the fuck off about Captain

22:14

America is when they went all these Marvel

22:16

movies started becoming like they started marketing them

22:18

towards the Chinese. So was like heavily like

22:20

voiceover oriented so they could edit it really

22:22

easily. They removed all they made Captain America

22:24

suit like black. They removed all America. Red

22:26

and white. It was all gone. Like Chinese

22:28

people won't like it. Yeah, fucking you guys.

22:30

And they got rid of this fucking shield.

22:32

They gave him like a black shield. Yeah,

22:34

it was retarded. Yeah, it was like an

22:36

answer that was in the Civil War. It

22:38

was a no, no, no. It was

22:41

in the Infinity War. Infinity War. Yeah,

22:43

his Infinity War suit was like it didn't

22:45

have anything to do with America. I

22:47

thought you meant like it was an

22:49

actual memory comes back with a beard. Yeah,

22:51

it's a little weird. That was to

22:53

appeal to Chinese people. The real shield

22:55

wasn't around. Yeah, I'm sure there's like

22:57

comic book shit associated with it. But it's

22:59

a very convenient thing to happen. Also,

23:02

a long time, it was just a

23:04

slant. It was just a

23:06

sideways thing to blind Oh, I could

23:08

have blinded to blind. It couldn't

23:10

shield anything. Yeah, but their

23:12

eyes. Yeah, it was dental

23:14

floss. They gave him that was their

23:16

dental floss. Blinded Chinese people. You never

23:18

heard that. I've never heard that. That's like

23:20

an old racist, like street joke. Yeah, you're

23:23

blindfolded with dental floss. That's a great street

23:25

joke. Yeah, how do you blindfold a Chinese

23:27

guy? Dental floss is like, yeah, classic. Who

23:29

came up with that? Me, my grandpa. That's

23:31

the best joke I've ever heard. God, I

23:33

wish John's grandpa was alive so we could

23:35

have him on the pod. He has so

23:37

many fucking funny jokes that John has told

23:40

me over the years. Oh, dude, my grandfather

23:42

got in so much trouble one time. He

23:44

fucking he would sell insurance door to door.

23:46

And back in the day, like an

23:48

anti -Semitic thing. But it was like a

23:50

common like saying you're getting jipped. Yeah, like

23:52

back in like the 60s. If you're

23:55

someone's being cheap, you tell them they're thinking

23:57

with their nose. Yeah, which is like

23:59

anti -Semitic. But oh, I was with I

24:02

was wrong. Whoa will At

24:04

that, you know that bar that he works up.

24:06

Mm -hmm. I won't say I just in case.

24:08

I don't know black cat Yeah, okay, they're

24:10

gonna go to black. We talk about 33 tabs

24:13

all the time. Yeah, but our friend doesn't

24:15

work there So If you want to go give

24:17

them what they're gonna do to will that

24:19

leave nobody no They

24:26

don't even know who he is I don't know

24:28

why I cared go get him We'll

24:31

post this picture Somebody

24:35

crosshair on his face Somebody

24:39

there got like offended. He said

24:41

Jim. Oh, that's so gay. I'm

24:43

like that's really gay Everyone hates gypsies.

24:45

No one likes gypsy. No, I know

24:47

they're not gypsies are not a protected

24:49

class. They're pieces of shit They're

24:52

trying to act like

24:54

where's the race Our race

24:56

is scamming. They're like Indian

24:58

basically what they're like Indian trap

25:00

They're like Romanian. Yeah, they're Romanian like

25:02

dark people. They could be considered.

25:04

I guess like an ethnicity, but if

25:10

Irish gypsies in America, well, that's snatched

25:12

the movie snatch like Gypsies in English

25:15

gypsies and shit. So it's not I'm

25:17

talking about the gypsies that are in

25:19

like like France and Italy they're like

25:21

very dark skinned people. Okay. Yeah, they're

25:23

the ones who get picked I mean

25:25

like Stephen King's thinner. They're dark the

25:27

gypsies the cursem Oh,

25:29

yeah, those are Native Americans. Yeah,

25:31

but they're gypsies. Yeah, they're called their

25:33

gypsies in the movie I guess because

25:35

they travel I guess if you

25:37

travel around without settling you're a gypsy

25:39

But then if you're also a

25:42

race that travels they get mad

25:44

at being called chips Yeah, but

25:46

every race has done something cool

25:48

gypsies have never done anything cool

25:50

Tyson fury was pretty cool Until

25:53

you sick Yeah,

25:57

you sick to fucking destroy. Yeah,

25:59

now everybody's like He always sucked. He

26:01

got gypsy brain. Later. He got

26:03

very annoying. His brain got really

26:06

gypsy-fi. Yeah. All the time. Unbelievable.

26:08

All the people should be shot.

26:10

Absolutely. All the people should be

26:13

shot. Absolute trash. These people. You're

26:15

the only ones Hitler was right

26:17

about it. Yeah. Yeah. Is that

26:19

crazy to say? Well they contribute,

26:22

nothing at all. I actually disagree.

26:24

I agree. Was that the only,

26:26

that was the only class of

26:29

people that he was like correct,

26:31

right? Well and the Jews. Mm-hmm.

26:33

Gosh, we're killing it. I love

26:35

you guys. God bless you all

26:37

quick. I love you guys. It's so

26:39

fun. It's so fun. Yeah. We should

26:42

just the whole thing. This is so fun.

26:44

I almost want this to be a public up. Sure. Yeah.

26:46

We're having such a joke, they give people like a little

26:48

taste. The dog missionary will hit well. A little taste of

26:50

what the, of what jock week's all about. Because the bikini

26:52

means one's a weird episode that we did. That could be

26:54

a jock week. Sure. My favorite jock week I think, let's

26:56

go, let's go, like we've, let's go, let's go through it

26:58

like we have, we have, we have a big hits list.

27:00

I think my favorite jock week was the one about the

27:02

one about the one about the BBC. I love fucking dogs.

27:04

I love fucking dogs. I love fucking dogs. I love fucking

27:06

dogs. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think,

27:08

I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I

27:10

love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I love,

27:13

I love, I love, I love, I

27:15

love, I love, I love, I

27:17

love, I love, I love, I

27:19

love, I Remember the episode we

27:21

did about like the BBC, the

27:24

zoologist was like raping animals to

27:26

death? Oh yeah. And then we

27:28

got into Michael Vichy Savile. He

27:30

was like the Jimmy Savile, like

27:33

lizards and shit. My favorite jock

27:35

week was... Yeah, talk an alligator!

27:37

He fucked an alligator!

27:39

That was great. Yeah. What was that

27:41

one? What was we saying in? We

27:44

kept making Foo Fighter songs about cheating

27:46

on your wife. What's his name again?

27:48

Dave Roll. Dave Groll. Dave Groll. Because

27:50

he puts you through grueling. What is

27:53

it? God, we stopped. We kept making

27:55

Dave, Dave Groll jokes. Yeah. There was

27:57

one that we invented the anti-

27:59

on a joke week, I think you

28:01

should show these guys, that musical part

28:03

of the movie. Yeah. Did that one

28:06

was my favorite. That like, was ruining

28:08

my life. I got stopped doing the

28:10

anti-riff, I can't even think every thought

28:12

is no anti-riff. Should we get back

28:14

to Amelia Pres? Yeah. Turn on. You

28:16

also, you guys played that clip at

28:18

Lemon Party, but I think you should

28:20

show these guys, that musical part of the

28:22

movie. Yeah, yeah, I'll try and find that.

28:24

Yeah. She's

28:27

got some heavy hangars, but she's

28:29

like a retarded person with gigantic

28:31

tits, right? She has like no

28:33

talent. I don't think she has

28:36

big tips. She has huge tips.

28:38

She has a little girl. No,

28:40

no, she's huge honkers. She has

28:42

like, she has like no discernible

28:45

talent. Fake or real? No, I

28:47

think it just hit her on

28:49

her. She has like no discernible

28:51

talent. Fake or real? No, I

28:53

think it's like, like, like, you're...

28:56

Look, this is such a weird disease.

28:58

Yeah, it sounds like you're...

29:00

I love lupus. You're part of

29:02

the peanuts, or something. Just as

29:05

we get dry eyes. It's like

29:07

an auto music. The Charlie lupus

29:10

come over, it's Christmas. Linus, lupus,

29:12

get over here. Pinken, you too.

29:14

I love lupus. Love lupus. People

29:17

tell me they have lupus. I

29:19

go, that's adorable. Can

29:21

I give it to me? Can I give me a little bit?

29:23

Give me a little bit. Give me no fuss. What does it

29:26

mean? What does lupus have to do? I really, it's like, I

29:28

think Fatie actually is one of them. Well a lot of women

29:30

out there have just made up diseases where they're just like, her

29:32

call, like I'm tired. Valerie's friend has lupus and if she drinks,

29:34

like, if she goes out and drinks, she's like down for the

29:36

count for like five days, like five, like five days. That sucks,

29:39

like five days. That sucks. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

29:41

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

29:43

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

29:45

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

29:47

like, like, like I don't know, but Selena Gomez,

29:50

I do, I've said this forever, she's

29:52

the luckiest person of all time. She's

29:54

not discerningly good at anything she does.

29:56

She's very mediocre to bad at every

29:59

pursuit she has. She's a bad actors

30:01

terrible singer terrible dancer. Just not good. Yeah,

30:03

she sucks. Yeah, she's really bad She's

30:05

hot. She's in a million. She's like nine

30:07

that hot. I mean she kind of

30:09

has like Down syndrome ahead There's a million

30:11

girls behind their hotter She kind of

30:13

reminds me of the the girl from what's

30:15

the fucking ghost world? Oh, yeah.

30:17

Yeah a little bit Thorough

30:19

birch Thorough Thorough birch Thorough birch. gonna say

30:21

Thorough birch. What happened to her She

30:23

was a crazy psycho drug addicted whore

30:25

was she yeah What happened her? Oh, she

30:28

was a crazy psycho drug addicted whore.

30:30

Yeah, she lost her tits Her parents were

30:32

the ones in deep throat, weren't they?

30:34

I think so. Yeah. Yeah, she had

30:36

a crazy life She was fucking hot She

30:38

was great big tits, but then she

30:40

did something happened. She somebody popped somebody

30:42

popped her or something Well, what happened? They

30:45

did a reflator. She she she she

30:47

she skimmed a fence at the end of

30:49

ghost world They have a scene Where

30:52

she has deflated tits because I had to

30:54

reshoot it. Yeah, she was that's when she found

30:56

cocaine So she deflated her tits or this

30:58

was this was through coke let the air out

31:00

of her tits She had to fuck on

31:02

sand Is there anything worse than when a girl

31:05

like loses weight? She also loses her tits.

31:07

Isn't that the saddest thing of all time? I

31:09

guess death No Estuance

31:13

no That's the saddest thing

31:15

of all there anything worse? No

31:20

Genuinely, no You're right.

31:22

It sucks. No, it's terrible. I

31:24

hate when women work out too

31:26

It's like it's it's You know work out

31:28

because you better have a good body, but if

31:30

you get a little muscular, that's also gross So

31:32

just you know act accordingly. Yeah, yeah Figured out.

31:34

I don't want to fuck a cobblestone street. You

31:36

know, I mean like that's insane Don't care about

31:38

buff women. It's weird to me Some of this

31:40

there's I think there's some fitness ladies that listen

31:42

to the show by the way and god bless

31:45

you Yeah, you guys look great. You guys are

31:47

great. Yeah This is in general like when a

31:49

woman's everyone are all the other ones Yeah, when

31:51

they run you never want your lady to get

31:53

into running too much They become like fucking Auschwitz

31:55

survive. They're gonna start getting I'm

32:00

not banging a greyhound, okay. But if

32:02

I did, it would be missionary. Yeah,

32:04

but if I did, it

32:06

would be missionary-style. I'd suck

32:08

the dits. As I essentially

32:11

make love. Have you looked

32:13

at like professional, what's the

32:15

cool runnings thing they did?

32:17

I'm talking about Jake Paul's,

32:19

Bob's like, women do like,

32:21

Luz and Bob's sledding, they

32:23

have the most insane bodies

32:25

ever. They have like the

32:27

fattest asses of all the

32:29

ice skaters. The one who

32:31

is dating Logan Paul has

32:33

the craziest best ass that I've

32:35

ever seen in my life. She's

32:37

like a giant whore? No, that

32:40

was, that was Jake Paul. Logan

32:42

Paul has the horror, right? And

32:44

then he fought that guy Dennis

32:46

something, right? What's the name? The

32:48

fuck out of him. Yeah, Logan

32:50

Paul's girlfriend was the one that that

32:52

guy on Twitter always posts, like how

32:54

many men she saw? What's his name?

32:56

Dylan Dennis. Yeah, that guy was so

32:59

famous for like a month. Just for

33:01

being insane. Yeah. His picture is up

33:03

in Prince Street. Pizza by me by

33:05

the way. They have that wall of

33:07

celebrities who have been there. There's a

33:10

Dylan dad is one. Wow. It's like

33:12

big celebrities like action, Bronson and like

33:14

got like respect the people and

33:16

then Dylan dad. That's so weird.

33:18

Yeah. Interesting. Jake Paul's curry girlfriend

33:20

is like an ice skater. Yeah,

33:22

she's really hot. I thought that

33:25

was surprising because she seemed

33:27

too smart to be with him, but

33:29

I guess he's a genius. Yeah. Now

33:31

I guess at a certain point you

33:33

gotta just like start liking all the

33:36

rethards. Because you go, everyone just

33:38

goes to fucking making money.

33:40

Yeah. You go okay man. It seems

33:42

so easy. He has no charisma,

33:44

he's not funny, he's not good

33:46

at speaking, he's not, like chill

33:48

son in full. He's just a

33:51

troll example is so talented at

33:53

promoting fights. He just wasn't famous

33:55

enough he didn't have this child

33:57

star a YouTube theme to capitalize

33:59

on. the best box or the

34:01

world, but if you, if you're

34:03

like a viral sensation. All you

34:05

have to do is be like

34:07

willing to be an obnoxious troll.

34:09

A heel. And you're going to

34:11

be a heel. You're a heel.

34:13

There's nothing. There's nothing more relatable.

34:15

There's really nothing more relatable and

34:17

fruitful than being below average. That's

34:19

how you maintain like a massive

34:21

success. Yeah. People want to. There's

34:23

no standard to hold them to.

34:26

People who also most of the

34:28

most of the population wants to

34:30

enjoy people that mirror their own mediocre

34:32

output. Yeah. If they could be like

34:34

that guy. Because I suck ass too,

34:36

kind of, like I'm boring. And you

34:38

know, I'm like a big fan of

34:40

like boring people. Yeah. And a good

34:43

deal. Very weird. That's why we're relatively,

34:45

no, because we're all genius hilarities. Sorry.

34:47

Sorry. Just like Patrice, man. We're just

34:49

exactly like Patrice. And that's, I've been

34:52

saying it for years. I go around

34:54

town all day, I go like, me

34:56

and my friends were the reincarnation of

34:58

Patrice on there. We all form together

35:00

like Power Rangers into the robot, but

35:03

we make a big fat black guy.

35:05

And they go, what makes you think

35:07

you're Patrice? And I go, we say

35:09

the N-word a lot. We say the

35:12

N-word a lot. And I've raped. She's

35:14

never raped. I know, I know, I

35:16

know. I know the story. She lied. Yeah.

35:18

Ruined his friends like havoc actually

35:20

it was yeah, it was like

35:23

havoc. There's exact same thing great

35:25

movie havoc Yeah, great god damn

35:27

flick What a picture what a

35:29

big what a cinema cinema Let's

35:32

keep watching Amelia Perez crazy crazy.

35:34

We can't get through this trailer

35:49

So wait isn't can't the cartel

35:51

get angry about this? Yeah, yeah, I hope they

35:53

are No, no, oh you mean in real life?

35:55

Yeah, I hope for the cartel hands. I

35:57

hope I hope I hope like if if

35:59

this movie wins at the Oscars.

36:01

Like anything? I hope when they're

36:04

up there accepting their awards, somebody comes

36:06

out and hands them a piece of

36:08

paper like Chalito Sanchez. And it says,

36:10

we're going to kill you after this

36:12

movie. The French director of this fagged

36:15

movie. The cartel is going to kill

36:17

you after the war show. He swed.

36:19

I like to thank my mother. And

36:21

then his, their final brave act is

36:23

they give some gay speech about trans

36:26

people. Yeah. They stand up, do it.

36:28

But they're found dead on the side

36:30

of their road in Juarez afterwards. Could

36:32

you imagine if like the Academy Awards was like bombed and all

36:34

those people died? That'd be like the most insane fallout of all

36:36

the time. It would be insane. It would be amazing cleansing though.

36:38

I'd be celebrating it like the world series. I've always thought the

36:40

country could be, we could have like a full, like a great reset. Like

36:42

if we were to like, no we wouldn't. We could, hold on, not even

36:45

the awards should say they don't, say they don't all get, but we could,

36:47

but we could, but we could, but we could, but we could, but we

36:49

could, but we could, but we could, but we could do it, but we could

36:51

do it, but we could, but we could, but we could, but we could do it,

36:53

but we could, but we could, but we could, but we could, but we could,

36:55

but we could, but we could, but we could, but we could, but we

36:57

We, somebody captures Taylor Swift and

36:59

they scalper. On TV, on

37:02

live TV, it's on every

37:04

channel, like when the president

37:06

gives us, he used to

37:08

give speeches and you, whatever

37:10

you're watching, interrupted, and we

37:12

interrupt this program, we're scalping,

37:15

we're scalping. And it

37:17

immediately happens. Everyone's watching

37:20

TV and all the sudden,

37:22

it's just. They hold it

37:24

up and they go, we

37:26

have the scalp of mediocrity!

37:29

They hold the scalp up

37:31

and they throw her onto

37:33

the ground. They throw her

37:35

body. Just pick her up

37:38

by her singlets and just

37:40

tossing her. There's Jason Amela

37:42

doing a good thing. They

37:44

scalp her and then they throw

37:47

her by then a ziggerot. She

37:49

is just rolling. Something about

37:51

that, I always felt that

37:53

could somehow change the course

37:55

of everything. I've always wanted to

37:57

see an Indian chief with a glory.

37:59

Yeah. Blonde a headdress on, made

38:02

out of her scalp. Just walking

38:04

around. Exactly. Yeah. Imagine getting like

38:06

collie mod, like temple doom, just

38:08

ripping into her chest, pulling her

38:11

heart out. So sick. Who did

38:13

though? I'm trying to think, who

38:15

would be the perfect person to

38:17

do that? I think. The name

38:19

of America. Yeah, to give them

38:22

a little something. No. No, no.

38:24

Could see those aren't

38:26

enough. No, it's

38:28

got like an

38:31

underappreciated person. I think

38:33

it'd be funnier than

38:36

a celebrity.

38:38

Who's underappreciated?

38:40

I mean, most good. Who

38:42

was the kid in Manchester

38:45

by the sea? Lucas

38:47

Hedges. He hasn't, he

38:49

doesn't get enough. That'd

38:52

be a weird one. Army Hammer

38:54

would be a good choice. Yeah!

38:56

Army Hammer's scalpelier. So he loves

38:58

it. He starts licking the scalpel.

39:00

He says a huge boner while

39:03

doing it. He's like, ah! Man.

39:05

It turns to one of those

39:07

like rural Chinese cooking videos after

39:09

that. He's just chopping up the

39:11

scale. Put a giant wall off

39:13

his whiskey down under the scalp.

39:15

Tox and onion and then put

39:18

the scout back on, rapture and

39:20

foil, put her in an oven.

39:22

Wow, look at that, look at the

39:24

weird places we've gone. None of that

39:26

made any sense that it's hilarious. It's

39:28

hilarious. It's perfect sense. Get a frog

39:30

video. No I know that, I mean

39:33

all that. I mean just a genesis

39:35

of this whole yoke in her mouth.

39:37

In casing her in salt. I think

39:39

it'd be fun if we made the

39:41

queer eye group do it or somebody

39:43

who doesn't want to do it. The

39:46

queer eye guys. The queer eye guy

39:48

scalping Taylor said. That would be great.

39:50

That's maybe, yeah, that's maybe one. Jonathan.

39:52

Jonathan's like, hey. He's

39:54

actually really annoyed and he's like.

39:56

No. I think I think somebody

39:58

who doesn't. to do it,

40:01

do it, do it, that be

40:03

even funnier. Yeah, forcing someone to

40:05

do it. Yeah, I like gunpoint

40:07

or something. Yeah, okay, for Sabrina

40:10

Carpenter, it's the Skauper. That's a

40:12

good one. That's a good one.

40:14

And it was Sabrina Carpenter, who

40:16

is she? That's like, that's like

40:19

Anakin and Obie One, facing off.

40:21

Where did Sabana Carpenter come out

40:23

of? She was an artist, but

40:26

she got her big break from

40:28

opening for Taylor Swift. Interesting, so

40:30

she's like, but she seems like Taylor

40:32

Swift for girls that like swallow. Yeah,

40:34

she's slutty Taylor Swift. Isn't she a

40:36

lesbian? No. She was dating a very

40:38

keen, yeah. She's Taylor Swift for girls

40:40

that aren't afraid to give their boyfriend

40:42

a BJ at the theater. And then

40:45

they spit the come out onto the

40:47

seat next to them and you go,

40:49

wow, you're a little wild bitch. You're

40:51

a wild bitch. You're a wild bitch,

40:53

aren't you? Like they have to sweep

40:55

up the pop code anyways. And Taylor

40:57

Swift is for girls that don't really

41:00

fuck their boyfriends. Yeah. Now I'm thinking

41:02

like it'd be funny or if it was

41:04

like a pain Olympics thing like it starts

41:06

to tell us I was getting scalped and

41:08

it quickly switches to like the rock between

41:10

two cinder blocks and a guy like slamming

41:12

a sludge hammer on his head. And then

41:14

there's like a real life like running man.

41:16

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh we make them find

41:18

each other. Oh my god, the business running

41:20

man was a rock. Celebrity running man. God,

41:23

oh he's shit. Mel Gibson's in charge of

41:25

the whole thing. Uh-uh-uh. He's the ambassador now.

41:27

He's the ambassador to Hollywood or something. Mel

41:29

Gibson, who else was it? It was somebody...

41:31

John Voi, John, John Voi's is the

41:33

weirdest pick. He's not... He just picked,

41:35

Trump just picked three Republicans. It doesn't

41:37

have anything to do. Vince Vaughn, how

41:39

about that? Yeah, Vince Vaughn, he's done

41:41

a great job of people knowing like

41:43

he's a conservative, but it not mattering.

41:46

I bet he turned it down, actually.

41:48

Yeah. Yeah. That'd be so sad. He's

41:50

the best. He's just dragged across concrete,

41:52

but they're going through fucking Hollywood. I

41:54

love, I love Double V. Me too. I

41:56

call him Double V. I'm very comforted

41:58

by Vince Vaughn. Everything. about him

42:00

makes me happen. God bless

42:03

dragged across concrete. We need

42:05

more Vince. We need more Vince.

42:07

We need more fucking. What's the

42:10

other, it's not Swingers, but it's

42:12

those two. What? We more, as

42:14

Craig Zala, the guy that

42:16

made dragged cross concrete. Oh yeah,

42:19

yeah. What's the other movie

42:21

though that they did? John Fabro

42:23

and Vince Vaughn. Made? Yeah, it's

42:25

not very good. But I'll

42:27

put those movies on and they

42:30

do the same thing for

42:32

me. Yeah. All right, back to

42:36

Amelia Perez.

42:40

It's a two

42:43

and a

42:45

half minute

42:48

trailer

42:50

and it's

42:53

been 42

42:56

minutes. And

42:59

Zoe, Zoe sold on and they're

43:01

on stage and they, a little

43:03

tiny Mariachi gag, comes out and

43:06

asks them a piece of paper.

43:08

He comes out, he comes out

43:11

on a tricycle like jigsaw. He

43:13

goes, we will kill you after

43:15

the show. Signed, Sinoloa cartel. And

43:18

they're all found dead right

43:20

afterwards because they fucked with

43:22

the wrong people. You don't,

43:24

you don't. Well, remember Blood and

43:26

Blood Out, I believe, was the movie?

43:29

Michaelo. Yeah, fucking. Michaelo. They got threats.

43:31

The white boy. No, they got killed.

43:33

That's right, they got killed. The consultants

43:35

on the movie, the Mexican, the person

43:37

that was in charge of consulting on

43:39

gang stuff, for all the Mexican gang

43:41

culture stuff. They got killed. There was

43:43

a very famous Japanese Yakuza movie where

43:45

the director of it got like stabbed

43:47

almost to death by Yakuza after the

43:49

movie is released. Because so they got

43:51

they because they raped the main character

43:53

and that's not a lot. They go

43:55

you're not we didn't get raped in real life. We

43:57

didn't get raped. It's based on a real guy. You made

43:59

him. Edward James almost was like considering taking

44:01

it out, right? But still went through

44:03

with it. He was like, I don't care

44:06

if you die He goes you better

44:08

leave he goes he goes by the way,

44:10

you also can't leave town You're

44:14

contact contractually obligated to you have

44:16

to keep living in Boyle Heights. Yeah

44:19

We got you an apartment in Westlake Apartment

44:22

on Pico Union your address is

44:24

in the credit. Yeah, you have the

44:26

apartment with the MS 13 graffiti

44:29

Real nice tent in McCarran Park Katelyn

44:59

Jenner It's

45:13

Katelyn beater Ah Yeah,

45:24

but just look up like me like

45:27

prayers like sex change song sex change operation

45:29

I can't get enough. I actually want

45:31

to watch this now. Yeah on Netflix. Yeah,

45:33

how haven't we watched the Netflix original?

45:35

It's like I can't bring myself to do

45:37

it. Valerie watched already. So I just

45:39

I can't watch it alone. Yeah Jacking off

45:41

all this is a real scene from

45:43

it. We watch this a lot of part

45:45

of you guys got to see this No

45:49

way swear to God. No. No.

45:51

No, it's a fan -made thing.

45:53

No What

45:56

would you like to know

45:58

about it my I

46:01

want to know it all.

46:03

What is the protocol? The

46:05

techniques and the risks. How

46:08

many operations? How much time

46:10

do you need? Mamoplas. See right

46:12

now you can just hear the

46:14

cartel loading up their tocomas. Yeah.

46:16

The ammunition. bombs. They're just chopping

46:19

somebody's head off right up because

46:21

they're angry. For practice. For practice.

46:23

They're just practicing. It's like swinging

46:25

about with donutons. They're just driving,

46:28

driving through a village. Yeah, they're

46:30

warming up. Raping and pillaging the

46:32

village. It's a warm up game.

46:35

So they're warming up for the

46:37

Amelia Perez cast. Put a grenade

46:39

and it's like stretching before. Just

46:41

imagine like Ryan Seacrest and the

46:44

red carpet and

46:46

the cartels just

46:48

behind. They're like,

46:50

what are you wearing?

46:52

A bunch of pices

46:55

with fucking like brown

46:57

shirts and bellow. So

46:59

who made you sell a

47:01

gold gun? People have

47:04

four to come with machine

47:06

guns on the back of

47:08

them. They're waiting very patiently

47:10

and lying. They're wearing guns

47:12

on the back. Sickers goes,

47:14

oh my god, breaking news,

47:16

the cast of the new

47:19

David Ayer movie is here.

47:21

The camera at the Oscars

47:23

cuts to their table, and

47:25

they're just playing the game with

47:27

a knife. One of them's drinking the

47:29

worm from their chicken. They're eating

47:32

the worm. They're trying to capture

47:34

a scorpion. They're like eating the

47:36

new scorpion size. I love the

47:39

idea of a guy doing the

47:41

knife game, but he just chops

47:43

all of his fingers off. Look

47:46

at the objective. He has a

47:48

knife sideways. They're all

47:50

gone. I want to

47:52

see the cartelity Oscars.

47:54

And they just keep

47:56

looking over to Amelia

47:58

Perez too. They're

48:01

all fanistic. And truly, David Ayer's

48:03

look, David Ayer's look, David Ayer's

48:05

looking at you that, she's going

48:07

like, David Ayer's in the back.

48:09

You know, they cut, they cut,

48:11

they cut, they cut to the

48:13

audience and the guys just sitting

48:15

there with an RPG ready at

48:17

the, you know, it's funny though,

48:19

is all these cartel movies, they like, actual cartel

48:22

leaders like live in the woods. They don't like

48:24

have glamorous lifestyles. That's why I don't think they

48:26

give a shit about this stuff. Yeah, they're not

48:28

out in the open. El Chappo tried to be

48:30

low-key for a long long time. Yeah, they can't

48:32

go into cities. They're gonna get killed immediately. Yeah.

48:34

Yeah, that's crazy. Do you remember when you had

48:36

the El Chappo shirt? Yeah. And we went to

48:39

Taco's Mexico. And we were walking up to the

48:41

front. There was a bunch of like

48:43

hardcore hardcore, like hardcore like, like,

48:45

like, like hardcore like, like, like,

48:47

like, like, like, like, like, like,

48:49

like, like, like, like, like, like,

48:51

like, like, like, like, like, Cholo,

48:53

like, like, like, like, like, like,

48:55

like, like, like, like, like, like,

48:57

like, like, like, like, like, like,

48:59

like, like, like, dark evil energy

49:01

yeah and we turned right around

49:03

and they walked into the parking

49:05

lot as we got in John's

49:07

truck and drove off

49:09

and they were like

49:11

walking towards it You go to

49:14

Sam's off-brown and we'll hide by

49:16

you. You go to the red

49:18

liner, but he's like, oh yeah.

49:20

Showing a Hitler shirt, you're like,

49:22

it's october fest. You go to

49:24

the red liner, but he's like,

49:26

yeah. Did I ever tell you

49:29

why my brother first got sober?

49:31

He facetime, he was so excited.

49:33

He was like, dude, it's great,

49:35

I'm saving money, I can buy

49:37

myself clothes to the first time.

49:39

And I was like, okay, damn,

49:41

the bar is set so low. So low.

49:44

You're behind yourself glows for the first time.

49:46

And he goes, he goes, dude, like check

49:48

out my new shirt. And the shirt is

49:50

a photo of Bill Cosby. And I was

49:53

like, already bad start. And then he pans

49:55

down further and just says drinks on me.

49:57

Oh my God. I was like, isn't that

49:59

funny? And I was like, you can't

50:01

wear that shirt. Like, you can't do

50:04

it. It got to the point where

50:06

I called my dad, and they've just

50:08

been so fed up with him.

50:10

But I called my dad, I

50:12

was like, dude, he cannot wear

50:14

that shirt. My dad goes, do

50:17

not discourage him. He got so

50:19

bad. He's making progress. Because at

50:21

that point, we're just so happy

50:24

he's not like wrapping his fucking

50:26

car on his shirt. I remember

50:28

we would go to that marketplace where

50:30

you'd buy the old chap a t-shirt.

50:32

Yeah, the Mercado. There was a t-shirt

50:34

they had there. It still exists. It's

50:36

just like half dead. But they had

50:38

a t-shirt there. It was The Beatles,

50:40

Walking Ross Abbey Road, but they all

50:42

had some burrows on. It just said

50:44

the beaners on it. Yeah, it's crazy.

50:46

They like her, they love that themselves.

50:48

They say they don't care about beaners.

50:50

No, well, they do. I don't, I

50:52

don't say that, but I do. I

50:54

make fundamental decisions. Do if it's in

50:56

the wrong way. Well, if you're cool

50:59

with them, like I call, I call,

51:01

I call, I call my wife of

51:03

being a constant. No, he's like your

51:05

best friend. Yeah, yeah, your wife. You

51:08

can't say it and John can't say

51:10

it. If you, if you, if you,

51:12

if you, if you gain confidence, to

51:14

Mexicans, my favorite audience, yeah. Yeah. It's

51:17

not even close. I love

51:19

Mexican. I love Mexican. They're

51:21

Italians in the 50s, but yeah.

51:23

They didn't like it when I opened up.

51:25

I was in, I was at the, uh... Irvine

51:27

improv and I came out and it

51:30

was all Mexican crowd and I said,

51:32

stop specs! You know, like that? A

51:34

guy came up to me and handed

51:37

me a piece of paper says, we're

51:39

going to kill you. It's my new

51:41

bit. I think everybody's standing on stage

51:44

should be given a note. It says

51:46

we're going to kill you. It's true.

51:48

And Shrata and I had this like

51:51

great goof that one day I'm going

51:53

to have to do it. when I

51:55

open for him, but I just walk

51:57

on stage and I go, damn, not a

52:00

fucking. Porta is here tonight. I think

52:02

I would immediately destroy

52:04

if I did that. A lot

52:06

of torta? Yeah, there's a lot

52:09

of fat next to me. A

52:11

lot of skin women. A lot

52:13

of fucking torta. A lot of

52:15

fucking torta. You know what a

52:18

torta was? Yeah. It's just regional

52:20

stuff. It's actually funny when people,

52:22

like, like, like, one of my

52:25

coworkers came into the bar and

52:27

was like, like, I'm gonna. All

52:29

right. A lot of fucking tortos

52:32

in here tonight. I can't roll

52:34

my fucking heart. Roger

52:36

Condelles, like, introducing

52:38

the 2025 NFL

52:40

draft, and he

52:42

opens up the first

52:44

big and jeses we're going

52:47

to get away. President

52:49

Trump gets inaugurated.

52:51

It's like we

52:54

only kill people

52:56

who have to

52:58

make announcements. No

53:00

more public speaking.

53:03

It goes to the

53:05

audience and it's just

53:07

a go with a huge

53:09

scar on its necks and

53:12

gold teeth. It's always the

53:14

time. It's had tears everywhere.

53:17

Oh God. It's the

53:19

winner of the special edition. Oh,

53:21

fuck, I want to go on now

53:23

with the way for Jillie

53:26

to finish this clip. That's

53:28

good. Holy shit. I don't

53:30

know why I had to

53:32

make me laugh so hard.

53:35

It's fine. Everyone keeps getting

53:37

handed pieces. It's like a

53:40

fucking holocaust. It's like an

53:42

open mic, there's not even

53:44

watching it. There's a guy

53:46

like announcing bingo

53:49

night. It's like a

53:51

five-foot doll Mexican. It's

53:54

always a five-foot dog.

53:56

It's a gay wedding. It's

53:58

a gay wedding. to kill

54:00

you after the show! And

54:03

there's always a crazy cartel

54:05

guy in the crowd like...

54:07

I take it's a news

54:10

anchor reporting on the fires.

54:12

The fires are up. Okay,

54:15

well, it looks like I'm

54:17

going to be killed after

54:19

this. It's a mural for

54:22

an old lady. Oh,

54:25

fuck, that'd be a

54:28

good sketch. It's me,

54:30

it's me inducting my

54:33

dad in the Hall

54:35

of Fame. You're in

54:38

Pennsylvania. It's an upper,

54:41

double in high school

54:43

in Pennsylvania.

54:46

Tiny Mexican!

54:48

It's an elementary

54:50

school spelling bee.

54:52

All right. Okay,

54:54

so Joey, here's

54:56

more of this. Oh my god.

54:59

What is it? What

55:01

is that? Oh my

55:03

god. What is that?

55:05

Adam's up or reduction?

55:07

Just, jas, jas, jas,

55:09

jas, jas, jas, jas,

55:11

jas, jas, jas, jas,

55:13

jas, jas, jas, jas,

55:15

jas, jas, jas, jas,

55:17

jas, jas, jas, jas,

55:19

jas, You're not out

55:21

of touch this movie's out of touch,

55:24

but isn't it people love it? No Well

55:26

the Academy likes it I saw a guy

55:28

break this down perfectly He goes it's maybe

55:30

the most offensive movie ever made to every

55:33

culture it talks to in the movie But

55:35

did trans people like it? No train people

55:37

fucking hate this movie The guy breaks down

55:39

is really smart is this British guy. He

55:41

like covers movie shit. He's just like He's

55:44

like, there's this weird idea in the movie

55:46

that if you become a woman absolves you

55:48

of all your violent crimes. Like she's innocent

55:50

now because she's a woman. Well a lot

55:53

of trans people think that. Yeah, but he's

55:55

like it's offensive down to musical theater culture.

55:57

It's the worst song and dances I've ever

55:59

heard. Mexican people hated, the cartel

56:01

hates it, everyone hates it. Yeah. Well,

56:04

I guess there's like a thing to

56:06

be said, like I think some trans

56:08

people become trans because it's like, they,

56:10

becoming trans is like, like a safe

56:12

house for pedophilia. Yeah, that's why women,

56:14

a lot of women hate. Trans. Trans.

56:17

Trans. discretionary radical feminist. Because they're like,

56:19

you're still a fucking dirty man. We

56:21

know we know what you're up to.

56:23

We know what you're up to. It's

56:25

like you turned your body into Israel.

56:27

If you're truly a feminist, you're a

56:30

feminist, you're like, you turned your body

56:32

into Israel. If you're truly a feminist,

56:34

you're a woman, you're a woman. You're

56:36

actually debating what a woman is now.

56:38

Then it's like, okay, well you just

56:40

erased like 60 years of process in

56:42

progress. Right, right, right. Oh,

56:45

creepy.

56:48

Is

56:51

that

56:54

the

56:57

Yes

57:00

and

57:04

It's the worst thing I've ever seen. Play the beginning of the

57:06

edit. It blows my mind. No.

57:11

Oh. Yeah, you're

57:13

going to find that other...

57:15

Oh, it's right there, try there,

57:17

it's that one. Sex change,

57:19

operation. Hello, very nice to

57:22

meet you, I like to know

57:24

about sex change, operation. I see,

57:26

I see, I see. Men, two

57:28

women, a woman, two men, two

57:31

men, two women, from penis to

57:33

vagina. I can't believe it's

57:35

a real thing. It's a real thing. I

57:37

thought it was a real thing. It's a

57:39

real thing. No, it's a real thing and

57:41

it's very real. It's the thing we know

57:43

that everyone every year in Hollywood, there's like a,

57:45

everyone just gets gas. There's a villain.

57:48

There's a, there's a, there's a, there's

57:50

just a movie that's like worst thing

57:52

ever that just, people say is great.

57:54

Who's that director Jacques Audiard or whatever?

57:57

Some some French asshole. Yeah, they need

57:59

to stop. French asshole. He's a

58:01

pedophile. Wode up interviews with

58:03

him, dude. I just want to see

58:05

what he looks like. It's the most

58:08

French man of all time. Well, she said,

58:10

I don't know why you would, why would

58:12

you do this and not make it about

58:14

like a culture you know about? Yeah,

58:17

I mean, yeah, I

58:19

don't know who this

58:21

guy he has he

58:23

made other known movies

58:25

I don't know what

58:27

is our he's like

58:29

French professor ass So

58:31

look you look back

58:33

here They run up

58:35

behind him and just

58:37

decapitate him. It's been

58:40

like 10 seconds hacking. It's

58:42

a butter knife. There's a

58:44

little bice with four pit

58:47

bulls on a fucking when

58:49

you see what I'm going to

58:51

go. First of all, congratulations. Yes,

58:54

sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes,

58:56

sir. Yes, sir. Ugh, you fucking

58:58

queers. Is that his wife? Is

59:01

that his wife? That's gotta be

59:03

his PR lady. Right, he's not,

59:05

he's gay. He's gotta be gay.

59:08

I don't know. He's just,

59:10

would you get a chance

59:12

to watch any TV shows

59:14

or movies? And I said,

59:16

which one did you fall

59:18

in love with? Amelia Perez,

59:20

Amelia Perez, Amelia Perez. Did

59:22

you talk about that responsibility?

59:24

I do, but how good does that feel?

59:26

I'm a French Canadian by

59:28

the way. I'm not French,

59:30

I'm not French, I'm not

59:32

one of these. No, those

59:34

are different. You're like a

59:36

fur trapper, right? Not like

59:38

George St. Pierre, yeah. The

59:41

ones that left. It's impossible.

59:43

It's impossible. It's impossible. But

59:45

are you feeling good? I

59:47

want to ask someone who

59:49

doesn't necessarily like

59:52

musicals. How did

59:55

he end up

59:57

doing this? film

1:00:00

and doing it so

1:00:02

well. Pardon? Pardon? I'm

1:00:04

like, I'm like, oh yeah,

1:00:07

I'm actually, I'm, I'm, I'm,

1:00:09

I'm part, I'm all the

1:00:11

committee music, but I'm, I'm,

1:00:13

I'm like, I'm like, I'm

1:00:15

like, I'm like, I'm like,

1:00:17

I'm like, I'm like, I'm

1:00:19

like, I'm like, I'm like,

1:00:21

a Spanish movie, too. And

1:00:24

it's like, like, a Spanish

1:00:26

movie, too, too, I mean,

1:00:28

too. Spanish. Yeah, but how

1:00:30

would he even know of like

1:00:32

the line reading was any it's

1:00:34

like why would you do that?

1:00:36

He's a cook. I don't know who

1:00:39

let him do. Who let him do?

1:00:41

That's who gave him the money.

1:00:43

Yeah, that's what I want

1:00:45

to know. Netflix. We'll shave

1:00:47

on this way. I like musicality

1:00:49

and what I wanted to do

1:00:52

was to make an opera and

1:00:54

the kind of opera that I

1:00:56

would want to watch. Is

1:00:59

the woman a place of

1:01:01

male press actually trams? Yeah.

1:01:03

Oh, so, okay, three leading

1:01:05

ladies. Fuck you. It'd be

1:01:07

sick. It'd be sick. It'd

1:01:10

be like, the two leading

1:01:12

ladies and that one monstrous

1:01:14

man in a dress. That's

1:01:17

what they'd say. This guy

1:01:19

doing Utah. He was just

1:01:21

really leading ladies and one

1:01:23

monstrous man and dress. He

1:01:25

goes leading ladies and Frankenstein

1:01:27

and a gown. So were

1:01:29

you intimidated taking on such

1:01:31

a classic like the thing

1:01:33

and remaking the thing? Was

1:01:35

that intimidating for you? You're

1:01:37

inspired by body horror, yes?

1:01:39

Video drone. He goes John

1:01:41

Carpenter would be proud of

1:01:43

what you did here. Cronenberg.

1:01:45

It surely loves this, right?

1:01:47

It be so simple,

1:01:50

it's like a

1:01:53

crone bird

1:01:55

made an anti-trans

1:01:58

movie. He was

1:02:00

a straightforward body horror film. He

1:02:02

decided to go totally nuclear. It's

1:02:05

the fly, but Jeff Goldman becomes

1:02:07

trans when he comes out of

1:02:09

the other portal. His penis is

1:02:12

slowly turning and like it's a

1:02:14

claymation. He's weaker and weaker. He's

1:02:16

a pedophile. He's complaining

1:02:19

a lot. Jeff Goldman comes out

1:02:21

of the portal. He starts to

1:02:23

go fund me immediately. You know

1:02:25

it's crazy. I'm gonna be honest

1:02:27

with you. three years working at

1:02:29

my bar I have never ever ever

1:02:31

only one time one time it has

1:02:33

happened had a male to female

1:02:35

trans person's card be accepted

1:02:38

and they never tip you always

1:02:40

say never tip and I've had I've

1:02:42

had close to male over a dozen

1:02:44

over a dozen over this is a

1:02:47

fan of you no no no no

1:02:49

no no no no no I'm just

1:02:51

saying I'm saying that for a disclaimer

1:02:53

for myself I have to believe you

1:02:55

and I've had over a dozen easily

1:02:58

Every time their cards define it. Because

1:03:00

it's a cheap guy. No, because they're

1:03:02

all mentally ill retards. You go, I

1:03:04

didn't realize you guys transitioning to a

1:03:07

Jew. Just so crazy what we casually

1:03:09

chose. No, it's because they're mentally ill

1:03:11

retards. Oh yeah, just right up. Yeah,

1:03:13

yeah. You got a Jew plastic, I

1:03:16

guess. In the 1950s, a trans person

1:03:18

today would have just fucking jumped off

1:03:20

the Golden Gate Bridge. Yeah. They can't

1:03:22

handle their lives. They can't hold jobs.

1:03:25

They can't do anything. So they're off

1:03:27

their fucking. They start wearing a fucking

1:03:29

dress. Yeah. So it's a hard life.

1:03:31

Say I got cheap guy surgery. Hmm.

1:03:33

What? He goes, I'm tired of being

1:03:35

a cheap guy. I'm going to be

1:03:37

a, I'm going to be a regular

1:03:39

woman. I'm going to be a regular

1:03:41

woman. Can't handle her finance. Who goes

1:03:43

idostome. I'm sorry. It's crazy. God. There's

1:03:45

one though that comes in and tips

1:03:47

the shit out of me, but she

1:03:49

like fucks like millionaires in Miami.

1:03:51

It's pretty sick. Like a big escort. Like

1:03:54

a hot trans. Yeah. Yeah. But even then,

1:03:56

I'm like, you're not like, she's like kind

1:03:58

of, you know, not hot. Sure. Yeah, it

1:04:00

does something for them, though. Big

1:04:03

bolt on, dudes. It's not

1:04:05

Bailey Dave. And she fox,

1:04:07

she fox rich, rich, rich,

1:04:09

guys. Yeah, dude. She's the

1:04:11

man. She's the man. That's

1:04:13

maybe the episode. She's the

1:04:15

man. She's the man. She's

1:04:17

the man. Yeah, she's only

1:04:20

one I respect, because she

1:04:22

pays. The other ones, the

1:04:24

second their cards decline. The

1:04:26

second their card declines, the

1:04:29

Mexican man left up to

1:04:31

them. Instead of a receipt.

1:04:33

You have one on retainer

1:04:35

at the party, those enhanced

1:04:38

people, death notes. John opens

1:04:40

like the mini fridge and

1:04:42

the little Mexican guy comes

1:04:44

out of it. This guy sucks

1:04:47

ass, fuck you, jocks, audiard. Yeah,

1:04:49

what a dumb ass. I wish

1:04:51

you, fucking, fuck you. Yeah. Well,

1:04:53

I think that was some good

1:04:55

work. Yeah. That was, that was,

1:04:57

I think this was my favorite

1:05:00

episode we've never done. I'm not

1:05:02

kidding. I'm gonna make, I'm gonna

1:05:04

make this the public. No. Yeah.

1:05:07

That's why Devin's Milk in the

1:05:09

time. No, no, no, no, no.

1:05:11

This is a patron. I'm saying

1:05:13

honestly we have to give good ones to

1:05:15

the fucking jockweek guys yesterday's episode was great

1:05:18

too I think there's a lot of person

1:05:20

there's a lot of personal talk week by

1:05:22

the way what's coming up on jock week

1:05:24

is going to be so much better because

1:05:27

me Logan Quiro's from the forefathers infamy

1:05:29

we're to be doing the prank phone

1:05:31

calls people love those we're placing Hollywood

1:05:33

haywatch with pranks potentially it's a way

1:05:36

better response it's like lives crank crank

1:05:38

cranky anchors it's like I might start

1:05:40

making it 50 a month. It's that

1:05:42

good. 20 is such a bargain. Yeah.

1:05:45

And we're all gonna do our own

1:05:47

pranks. So it's like on the first

1:05:49

one it was me and Logan, but

1:05:51

now you get the whole hate watch

1:05:53

crew. David's gonna do pranks as Stan

1:05:56

as the Stan voice. Yeah, but what were

1:05:58

you doing in the first? Are we just

1:06:00

sitting there watching? He was like just running

1:06:02

the board? Gotcha. Yeah. I didn't do much.

1:06:04

He was like just reacting. Just enjoying it.

1:06:07

Yeah. I'm nervous about doing it. I'm bad

1:06:09

at it. It's going to be interesting to

1:06:11

see. Yeah, it's fun. John's gonna have some

1:06:13

good ones, I think. Horrible. I've never tried

1:06:15

that. I'm so bad. I'm so bad. You're

1:06:17

gonna be an actual. No, you're gonna be

1:06:19

an actual. I bet you're gonna be an

1:06:22

actual. But yeah, that episode was like an

1:06:24

hour and 40. Might as well give that

1:06:26

to the... They just opened up Jockweek. Yeah,

1:06:28

they deserve it. Okay, there are some things

1:06:30

that you got to believe on this episode,

1:06:32

but yeah. Really? Beener no that

1:06:34

I said if you give a

1:06:36

Mexican wife I guess you're Maxine

1:06:38

I've said I've said I've said

1:06:40

I've said that word millions of

1:06:42

times on lemon party. It's fine.

1:06:45

All right. We have a very

1:06:47

I mean I know we have

1:06:49

a very liberal crowd that listens

1:06:51

to the show and they're gonna

1:06:53

get be outraged over that colors

1:06:55

like I don't want people to

1:06:57

start. Are you worried about your

1:06:59

wife finding out that you say

1:07:01

that? No. No. No. No. Oh yeah, fine,

1:07:03

this is the public I guess. Plug

1:07:06

your, plug your shows. Oh

1:07:08

yeah, yeah, me and Ben

1:07:10

are doing cringe again, February

1:07:12

8th in Hollywood. It's a

1:07:14

sick lineup. Might have Connor

1:07:16

O'Malley on it, not confirmed

1:07:18

yet. He's going to be there.

1:07:20

It's a good time though. I

1:07:23

can't fucking wait, that's going to

1:07:25

be my favorite show of the

1:07:27

rest of the Limes. We got

1:07:30

Garrick, we got Garrick. And Derek

1:07:32

Hiker doing his first ever set.

1:07:34

Oh yeah. So the normal

1:07:36

says co-hose. We got Kiker.

1:07:39

Garrett, Keith, John, possibly

1:07:41

on alley. That's a

1:07:44

banger. And that venue

1:07:46

is fun as hell.

1:07:49

It's a B-Y-O-B one.

1:07:51

B-I-O-B. Yeah. B-I-O-B. Yeah.

1:07:54

B-I-O-B. Yeah. B-I-O-B. Yeah.

1:07:56

B-Y-O-B. Yeah. B-Y-Y- Yeah.

1:07:58

B-S-S-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S If you hand me

1:08:01

note on stage and you look at it

1:08:03

and you look at it and you go,

1:08:05

we're going to kill you and then I'm

1:08:07

just back there. You get to wipe your

1:08:09

brow with me. Also I have to say

1:08:12

this, you almost wanted me to say this

1:08:14

on the main, you almost made a sketch,

1:08:16

you did all the cinematography, it's very good.

1:08:18

If you go to the Hate Watch YouTube

1:08:20

channel. Watch the sketch and you almost

1:08:23

wanted me to say that we're making

1:08:25

more sketches. So tune in for those.

1:08:27

Yeah, he's asking me about doing a

1:08:29

bomb version for me. He's got

1:08:31

a bunch of ideas for sketches

1:08:34

for everybody and he's so good

1:08:36

at the cinematography and making the

1:08:38

sketches. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. All right,

1:08:40

great. Nice. Love you guys. Bye. Bye.