0:06

You

0:13

motherfakers,

0:20

you

0:27

motherfakers.

0:34

These Christmas we celebrate

0:36

celebrate the Luigi Mangion, saint

0:38

of saint of sea of

0:40

murder. See his purplock? Yeah, we're doing

0:42

it. We got a them. I've only

0:44

seen the pictures. only It's the pictures. they

0:46

uh, no, they Gianni. They're trying to make

0:49

him like into the fucking hottest

0:51

guy in town. Yeah, so make him you

0:53

know into the fucking hottest guy in town. Yeah, so that's

0:55

a crisp We got to do it

0:57

to It we got it. It

0:59

looks like a movie set to

1:01

the or something. Yeah. Just

1:04

like he

1:06

drew it

1:09

up. I'm

1:11

getting chills.

1:13

I'm getting

1:16

chills. Yeah,

1:18

man. I

1:20

hate how

1:23

well this

1:25

works. He's

1:42

kind of fucking this you have have one in your

1:44

life. in of us None opportunity of walked by

1:46

a SWAT team. walk by how did he know? But

1:48

he's confused. He's like looking around. around. you you like

1:50

look guy? look confused. He looks like guy? I didn't

1:52

look confused. He looked him to put, I'd ask him

1:54

to put the spit mask on me. Like

1:57

Hannibal Lecter. I think this song. I song... I

1:59

me out. me out. if - Let's give him

2:01

the Con Air Song. Do it

2:03

with the Con Air Song. Don't

2:06

wear a purple Connor. Because now

2:08

I want to show that he

2:10

will look very bad-ass. That song

2:13

made him look like his gay

2:15

uncles were walking him to prom.

2:17

Like trying to pretend like they're

2:20

proud of him. Why is Eric

2:22

Adams? His two gay biological uncles.

2:25

Yeah. Which one is it? Is

2:27

it called purp walk? You look

2:29

at Conair soundtrack? No, no, down

2:32

there, down there. Wait. So? It's

2:34

that one. Click that. No, that's

2:36

the movie, brother. Just to Conair

2:39

Soundtrack. I did. No, you looked

2:41

up Conair's song. Oh God. You

2:44

look up Conair Sound. God. Such

2:46

an otter. He shot a CEO

2:48

of United Health with a nine

2:51

millimeter outside of the hotel. He's

2:53

like, oh, I've got so many

2:55

things planned that they don't know.

2:58

It went black when the beat

3:00

dropped. Yeah, those perfectly synced up.

3:03

Yeah, we're legends. We're like, we're

3:05

like dead mouse. Yo, this is

3:07

easy, bro. He's an angioni. He

3:10

shot a CEO of United Health

3:12

with a nine millimeter outside of

3:15

a hotel. Homemade pistol. Guy was

3:17

a fucking ghost. Cyrus the virus.

3:19

This appears a sexual park. The

3:22

sexiest in cell of all time.

3:24

Was he? Well that's his whole

3:26

thing is he his back was

3:29

so fucked up he couldn't hump.

3:31

He's in the same prison to

3:34

ride you. Yeah you know but

3:36

it's in the same prison as

3:38

Diddy. Isn't that crazy? What if

3:41

Diddy killed him with his painus?

3:43

How? Like after the fact of

3:45

the death. Yeah, he broke his

3:48

back a second time. Yeah, yeah,

3:50

very good. It's after it do.

3:53

Very good. Like names. was

3:55

wondering wondering what would break,

3:57

right? Oh, the pain and I

4:00

was like, oh spirit? Oh, your

4:02

your But yeah, they got

4:04

him and that's, you know, he's

4:07

a yeah, they

4:09

got him and

4:12

that's, you know,

4:14

they might, he's a

4:16

terrorist. They're a terrorist.

4:19

him with like a charging him with

4:21

like a federal crime. could death the death battle,

4:23

too. Why not just call him an

4:25

call him they need to show people

4:27

you don't they don't fuck with

4:30

the uh the you don't fuck, you don't fuck with

4:32

know uh, it's really depressing oligarch, yeah. I

4:34

It's not. It's not it's really I'd only know

4:36

if he killed my best friend. a shit.

4:38

It's used to - not the sleep

4:40

at night. All I up

4:43

is he I'll never best he

4:45

did to I used to, I

4:47

wake up screaming at night.

4:49

up up screaming. down and remember yeah

4:51

yeah Brian. he's To calm

4:53

down, I remember. court and he

4:55

know, he's going to see

4:58

his day in court, and

5:00

he will see justice. three times nice then,

5:03

though, I'll wake up three times

5:05

and I at the top of my

5:07

lungs. Piece a of shit. piece of shit

5:09

Luigi will pay. pay Did you guys see

5:11

this? see this? You guys I forgot that

5:13

when, was like kind of like

5:15

was, remember when of, like, canceled? Do was

5:17

like she was she was

5:20

like Lizzo was... Yeah, well, like mean. No. She was

5:22

was shoving pizza in their

5:24

ass and she was trying to

5:26

force with, like, gras and was upset

5:28

that they were a little

5:30

skinnier than her ass, and she was trying to

5:32

rape your background. She raped

5:34

your background ashes with food. with food.

5:36

Oh. It was so like was actually like a

5:38

banana. banana. Unbelieve, what is it? they fucked? I don't know,

5:40

it's a joke here. joke here. dance are like, fuck herself

5:42

with the with a banana. With a

5:44

banana. so they so saying been saying a hobby to

5:46

make a fat and a food. food. I that true? I

5:49

didn't that true? I I didn't know

5:51

that she I thought just like forced them to like, trip

5:53

like strip clubs and like. One

5:55

of them said think one of them said something about

5:57

to eat a being forced to eat a banana out

5:59

of a a. Yeah, yeah, out of a plot. of a

6:01

thwot that sounds voluntary eating a banana

6:03

a of a snatch out of a pussy Yeah, a

6:05

will if was will. And then she was also a jjjj. A

6:07

a gash, a slit. And then then she was saying

6:10

like you're all way too fat to

6:12

be way too fat to she's like the dancers

6:14

she like lost like a little weight

6:16

recently. She like lost up a she's probably lost

6:18

like a hundred fifty pounds. Yeah, that's

6:20

how big she know, well fat. She probably

6:22

lost 150 pounds just from like no

6:25

more half and half in a hundred fifty. It

6:27

really falls off you when you're that

6:29

big you're that Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bless

6:31

her, but I guess she spoke

6:33

about I don't really know. We'll

6:35

see though. She's family really know, we'll see though,

6:37

she's fat, we can make fun of her. Suck her. Me saw

6:39

a war now, wait. Snapping. I in I He

6:42

said I wasn't going to crack, because I'm not a f***ing

6:44

victim. I'm not a victim. We can't can't just be strong

6:46

all the time and it's okay when you

6:48

get your feelings when you get your feelings

6:50

hurt. God, like, that period of my

6:52

life that period of my life dark.

6:55

dark. Because of

6:57

the of of betrayal. Not

6:59

because I was like, was like, oh

7:01

my god, like, I did something wrong it was

7:03

like It was wind was knocked out of

7:05

me by people that I cared about.

7:07

out of me by little bit of

7:09

my innocence cared about. A a little bit of bit

7:12

a lot of wind is

7:14

gone. And a little bit of my freak.

7:16

pig's house a lot a

7:18

wind. That's a hurricane. Was it made of

7:20

it made of That's... I

7:22

hope it was the it was

7:24

house. That wind that in

7:26

was in twisters. That's at five. That's at

7:28

She goes, Powell's still

7:30

chasing the breath that

7:32

was Powell's Glenn Powell's

7:34

inside her body with

7:36

his truck and he's

7:38

latching it into her The

7:40

Powell's inside eat fireworks. He

7:42

doesn't fly his truck and he's

7:44

latching gone, for sure.

7:46

sure. because that kind

7:48

of of like betrayal is. It's

7:51

hard for hard for any

7:53

person to take. Let's all

7:55

just all just sign to deploy Dorothy She's talking

7:57

about talking about betrayal. like,

7:59

like Do you guys really think those backup

8:01

dancers were like lying about? Yeah, she's pretending

8:04

like she's like Adolf Hitler talking about the

8:06

end of the war and shit. Yeah, I

8:08

do think they're lying. I think they want

8:10

to get a paycheck. Oh for sure. Yeah,

8:13

I mean, I think that she probably was

8:15

doing that shit. I think they were probably

8:17

was doing that shit. I think they were

8:19

probably like just as down as she was.

8:22

Yeah. They're fucking Lizzo backup dancers. They're like,

8:24

they go to a place and they like

8:26

hump each other like hump each other, like,

8:28

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

8:31

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

8:33

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

8:35

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, You

8:37

know, you could probably sue her and make

8:40

a fuck ton of money. Yeah, and they're

8:42

like, oh shit. When she was, all I

8:44

know is that like when I saw her

8:46

at the Laker game and her ass was

8:49

fully out, like Rokishi, it was one of

8:51

the more disgusted, I wanted to turn into

8:53

like a, like a super religious guy at

8:55

that very moment. It was disgusting. It looked

8:58

like she looked like she was farting all

9:00

over the fucking staple center. It was a

9:02

disgrace. It was disgrace. It was just fucking

9:04

disgrace. You know what's so annoying about this

9:07

is that the time she docs that Uber

9:09

Eat's driver I thought was so much more

9:11

heinous. Yeah. That's what I thought she got

9:13

canceled. No, no, no, no, no. People got

9:16

madder online. But this is like. She docs

9:18

to Uber, driver, yeah. This is like she

9:20

was facing lawsuits of the shit. I've said

9:22

this before and I'll say it. I understand.

9:25

And I know that a lot of times

9:27

people see what we do and it feels

9:29

so far away from you. Baby, this is...

9:32

Are those Kiki Palmer? What though? I didn't

9:34

recognize her at all. I thought that was

9:36

just some lady. I did not recognize Kiki

9:38

Palmer whatsoever. That was Kiki Palmer. Everyone's got

9:41

a podcast. This is unbelievable time to be

9:43

alive. I mean, it's... It's a it's crazy

9:45

everyone knows they can make a little extra

9:47

dough. I guess just doing a podcast Yeah,

9:50

and they're all I mean it's easier for

9:52

them because they just get immediate immediately

9:54

They're not no one's not,

9:56

no one's, no one's, no these guys are

9:59

on be hilarious you Palmer's

10:01

like wondering. Yeah. her movies

10:03

And she also has

10:05

a if Kiki Palmer's like, you go

10:08

a her movies and she also has

10:10

during the credit. It's

10:12

just multiple Pitt has Patreon.

10:14

to subscribe This is the QR code

10:17

during the credit, it's just Sad times,

10:19

man. Couldn't be me. a

10:21

note, it goes, miss me with that.

10:23

to with that that bullshit. Retards

10:25

she's getting out here, out here, getting

10:27

wicked. You see Nick See Nick to

10:30

kill him a guy tried to kill him.

10:32

It was crazy Thought has a

10:34

little tiny a little tiny crossbow Yeah,

10:36

it's like an assassin's tool. It's

10:38

like from like Creed creed

10:40

Look at this look at this Look

10:43

at crossbow. He has it's he has. It's

10:45

Van Helsing. Fuentes lives. He lives

10:48

lives in like Chicago. yeah. He's got like

10:50

a house in Chicago. He's like a Hughes Hughes home

10:52

Oh, I didn't expect that. a guy who

10:54

talks to that recklessly online,

10:56

you that fortress. No, it's like

10:58

home alone every night for Nicholas

11:00

he had but he has traps

11:02

set up for Jews. it's like puts

11:04

kerosene on the floor, for Nicholas

11:07

of gold coins. he a Rube

11:09

Goldberg machine set up for Jews. Jews take

11:11

over in the middle of

11:13

the night. and marbles. There's all sorts

11:15

of gold coins. Yeah,

11:17

so this guy. killed three people then

11:19

then showed up to his house. Why

11:22

did he kill dogs? Because he was

11:24

did he kill dogs? they were he was away. Because

11:26

they were making he when he was trying to

11:28

hide. No, he was he was running away from the

11:30

police and then he broke into someone's house.

11:32

I guess house. I started attacking him and he shot

11:34

the dogs, like Lou and shot He didn't kill

11:36

the person? and No. He shot the dogs. Who

11:38

were the three people he killed, like his

11:40

parents? I are the three tried to look it up.

11:42

I couldn't find his it, but he killed three

11:44

people and then went to Nick like house. And then,

11:46

because he probably felt bad and he was like,

11:48

well, I could at least do this well, I could

11:50

at least do this too. He I can go like,

11:52

to he's like, well, he's like, best friend. well, he

11:54

also, there's a lady lady that, like, Nick Fuentes is pepper

11:57

sprayed, couple months ago. Is he like

11:59

a liberal guy? guy? this killer Was he

12:01

doing it? I guess so. got a

12:03

little tiny got and like

12:05

a twenty -two pistol and like

12:07

a 22 pistol. It's like a horrible, yeah, he

12:09

looks like a fucking lip. He got a tiny

12:11

crossbow and a tiny mistle. can shake

12:13

looks like a Bad me

12:15

sure we can shake. Looks like a lip

12:17

to of a gay backpack really

12:19

a manly not really a kind of red

12:22

kind of A little kind of red, kind

12:24

of a girly color. a lot

12:26

of of male male there. It's polite. polite.

12:28

attempted assassination bring in in the knocking

12:30

hello yeah that's yeah I got a cop shot him to it

12:32

which is crazy more cop shot he's death which

12:34

is get shot to death cops so oh i

12:37

didn't cops death this guy runs breaks guy cops

12:39

show up this guy runs breaks in

12:41

somebody's house shoots their dogs and

12:43

then gets them to stand off the

12:45

police seven fires on the police

12:47

the cop the him to death the cops

12:49

shooting to it's like a lot easier

12:52

to kill the dogs, isn't it, the

12:54

Well, the cops have guns, and they're

12:56

shooting back. Yeah, that's what you

12:58

say. they're shooting back yeah hey bud You know, he's like the king

13:00

of the What's he saying? Yeah, well,

13:02

hey, are you here to murder

13:04

me? well no. are you here

13:06

to murder me? He's like on line.

13:09

But yeah, that happens. And you know,

13:11

I don't really that much and,

13:13

you Nick Fuentes. know much

13:15

about Nick really know about lot of

13:17

He's really know anything about of crazy.

13:19

I don't dinner with Donald Trump. him.

13:22

He's a very big Nazi. He like

13:24

the king of the all right.

13:26

Yeah, but all our listeners love will

13:28

love them. Probably. Now this lady, we were watching

13:30

this lady we were watching

13:32

yeah, Sister Cindy is my favorite a a

13:34

preacher But she trying trying

13:36

to warn college students about

13:38

the dangers of sex and

13:41

drinking, but she just kicks

13:43

ass She kicks ass. Yeah, she

13:45

really she sounds great ass. She

13:47

just doesn't really, she sounds

13:49

great. Listen to the take

13:51

an LSU girl to a

13:53

Mexican restaurant. an LSU girl to a Mexican restaurant.

13:56

Yeah. By the the way, in

13:58

like at these at these colleges... It's so funny funny

14:00

a big fan of the a big and I'm a

14:02

the SEC now and I'm a big gator go

14:05

Gators. the Florida gators, go gators. I

14:07

found out that the

14:09

LSU these are like religious Yeah, these

14:11

are like religious people, southern religious people,

14:13

but they get so into the. into

14:15

the college the, they'll

14:17

chant chant the, dick bitch.

14:19

Suck that tiger dick bitch.

14:22

Was that true? Yeah,

14:24

it's dick bitch, suck that see like

14:26

old ladies that look

14:28

like. it's Suck that tiger

14:30

dick bitch. It's like a famous chant. You'll

14:32

see like old ladies

14:35

that look like, uh,

14:37

suck that tiger dick

14:39

bitch. Yeah. Yeah. This

14:41

shit for faggot

14:43

F -A -G -G -O

14:46

-T -S! Faggots! F

14:48

-A -G -G -O -T -S! a

14:50

girl can dress modest

14:53

and dress wop! Whoa!

14:56

All right, be

14:58

a up! They all love

15:00

her, she's yelling about wops! Let's

15:02

get her to the get

15:05

her to the

15:07

mothership immediately immediately! I'm

15:12

gonna give you a few red coins.

15:15

plans. Oh, go,

15:17

let's go. go, let's

15:19

go. one. time, number

15:21

one, is if like

15:24

to go out to

15:26

go out to a

15:28

Mexican restaurant. Truely,

15:31

I cannot I cannot

15:33

believe how much better this is

15:35

in the shows I did in South

15:37

Carolina. in South Carolina. She's This would have

15:39

been my dream! you should have gone

15:41

out there you talked about out there and talked

15:43

anybody to a Mexican joint. take anybody to

15:45

a is Nick the Paula's opener. is Nick

15:47

the Pala's opener. Some

16:00

guy just yelled

16:03

no place for

16:06

hate. Man, best.

16:09

Some guy just yelled no place for

16:11

hate. Man, imagine this lady, like, out.

16:14

I Like, I'm just,

16:16

I don't know, out. of alt

16:18

writing you. Yeah, she's a, danger

16:20

to minorities. a, she's a

16:22

major danger to like shut

16:25

up you There's no don't

16:27

you take a girl

16:29

to a here. She's like, shut up,

16:31

you fucking fagget. Why

16:34

did you take

16:36

a girl to

16:38

a Mexican restaurant?

16:40

She is not

16:42

interested in a

16:44

burrito. She's got

16:46

great stage presence.

16:48

Yeah, great timing.

16:50

is like good. She's got

16:54

great

16:56

stage

16:58

presence.

17:01

Yeah, want

17:03

any dykes looking at

17:05

my timing. This

17:07

is like

17:10

raw. Yeah, yeah.

17:13

This lady she is so is

17:15

so racist that she

17:17

hates Mexican food She is

17:19

like, she is like, she thinks. Which

17:22

just like, literally in the a

17:24

for racism. They're like, like, the

17:26

Oxtail's pretty good. racism. They're like, I

17:28

am. Ocktail's pretty good. She's

17:31

like, I bet you're

17:33

out there drinking a

17:35

margarita! You're allowed to

17:38

eat Mexicans and

17:40

order their

17:42

food enjoy a margarita.

17:44

I order their

17:46

food once a week.

17:49

This lady like like

17:51

it like racial like

17:53

like you know like

17:55

racial, like, you know, mixed

17:58

breeding. Yeah. A

18:00

California burrito, got him

18:03

a trickier situation. And

18:05

that's an interesting one.

18:08

If only we can

18:11

get rid of that

18:13

stupid Mexican bread! And

18:16

it's wrapped in! A

18:19

perfect California beer would

18:21

just be French fries.

18:24

French fries and steak!

18:28

Did that make

18:30

any sense? I

18:32

don't know, but

18:35

they love it.

18:37

Yeah, she's saying

18:39

she's saying if

18:42

you take her

18:44

to a Mexican

18:46

restaurant and get

18:49

her a margarita

18:51

she'll turn into

18:53

a flusie! Sounds

18:56

like you should

18:58

take her. Yeah,

19:00

yeah, but she's

19:03

I think she

19:05

thinks that only

19:07

Mexican restaurants do

19:09

this. Yeah, it's

19:12

like there's savage

19:14

food turns our

19:16

ladies into offers!

19:19

Fella beans parting

19:21

all over your

19:23

car. If you

19:26

buy her two

19:28

margaritas she will

19:30

pounce right on

19:33

your penis! She's

19:35

doing an act

19:37

out. That's great.

19:40

She's awesome. She's

19:42

doing an act

19:44

out. She's doing

19:47

an act out.

19:49

She's doing an

19:51

act out. That's

19:53

great. Ha

19:57

ha ha ha ha! This

20:00

is the best! the I love

20:02

this video! this anyway, who's

20:04

taking me to El like, okay,

20:06

anyway, who's taking

20:08

me to alka-boko

20:10

equity? So what

20:12

I'm saying is,

20:14

I need to

20:16

be fucked! Take

20:18

me to lock

20:20

up and eat

20:22

some! And he

20:24

fill me with

20:26

margarinas and screw

20:28

me! Gooey ooze

20:30

will pour out

20:33

of me! ha. like

20:49

a local like a relic in the relic in the

20:51

community. she's know Cindy you know she's just She's just

20:53

sister Cindy. I was was wondering how long

20:55

has she been doing this and do

20:57

they come to see her show does she

20:59

show up like it's like area and a busy

21:01

area and they're like all right let's

21:03

gather. they might they might see her

21:05

just setting up her like homeless person

21:07

speaker. draws a draws homeless homeless person giving a

21:09

speech speaker. she does every she does every single

21:11

day day then the students were like were

21:13

we should all go. all go. Yeah, like

21:15

they made a point like one day me like one day.

21:17

all go watch Just like a real crowd, but I'm

21:19

sure she's doing this all day every single day for

21:22

nobody. Yeah a real crowd But

21:24

I'm sure she's doing this

21:26

all day every single day

21:28

for nobody. Yeah He really

21:30

work at your crap. it

21:32

one of the the case. Oh shit.

21:34

She's got to work at your craft. Yeah one

21:36

of the 250 to be fucking

21:38

Cindy She - I was gonna to be that too. Yeah,

21:40

she used to I a was dude. to be

21:42

a fucking babe. Yeah,

21:45

still is

21:47

I love

21:50

the actor.

22:01

And man, you

22:03

will have a

22:05

poopy penis. Do the other

22:08

Dude, you'll have a poopy penis. No

22:11

way! No way! You

22:14

way! me?

22:16

No way! Are

22:19

you kidding me? Cross,

22:21

are you

22:23

Poopy fans! Wait,

22:26

wait, wait. How far can I go?

22:28

Can you hear anybody hear that drink

22:30

spot? Oh,

22:32

god. She's shaking her

22:34

head. And her

22:36

happened One. two, is incredible

22:39

She is amazing. She

22:41

will strap it

22:43

on and pick you

22:45

strap it Hang on,

22:48

this is an improv

22:50

comedy. This is an a

22:52

professional. No. comedy. This is

22:54

crazy. She's a There's a level of

22:56

being nuts where you lap No.

22:58

Like genuine like working your ass your ass

23:01

off a comedy or being funny,

23:03

and you beat your funnier a

23:05

guy guy been genuine You skipped. Yeah, yeah, no, I

23:07

think like if Ian I think gave it like

23:09

10 more more years, he might

23:12

be the greatest comic of all

23:14

time. of all exactly. exactly Also in area

23:16

right now. Imagine this crazy

23:18

lady is a member of your

23:20

family. like some distant relative. She

23:23

shows up to to once every few years.

23:25

And you're just like, oh, God, what's she

23:27

going to do? few years and

23:29

And then you see this

23:31

video. oh You're like, oh,

23:33

my, everybody loves her.

23:36

Maybe we're the Poor lady is like

23:38

on I might

23:40

skip my class this

23:42

shit. and then you see this

23:44

video and ever oh my,

23:46

an LSU girl to a

23:48

maybe we're the assholes. She's like like repetition.

23:50

She's commanding the stage. like

23:53

Chris Rock pacing back and

23:55

forth. Yeah, I mean, it's unbelievable. Just

23:57

wait wait till she She does

23:59

her and her next joke

24:01

was a was about

24:03

black people for Zen a, was

24:05

about black people for

24:07

Joe. Where would words. Famous

24:09

Chris the pole.

24:11

keep your LSU daughter

24:14

off the pole. The

24:16

toss salad man! Okay.

24:18

You guys see this video guy if that

24:20

at shit metal show beating the shit out it

24:22

because it makes me so angry. nice?

24:24

is my youth. re-watching it because it hate

24:26

these guys. I've been in like

24:28

shows with the people like this

24:30

and it's just like that guy's

24:32

a genuine piece of shit. He's

24:34

not even doing like classic I He's

24:36

just punching people I hate these the

24:38

other dance been in like shows with the people like

24:40

thrashing, but like you're not even

24:42

like you don't hit people. You

24:44

just kind of like swing your this

24:46

and kick people and like this. He's doing

24:48

like doing like I fucking hate this guy.

24:51

I this is - Have you seen this

24:53

video? guy. Yeah, It's really upsetting. seen this stop

24:55

I wanna kill this guy. Cause this

24:57

one guy see you tries it on him

24:59

and he like to kill this guy. you can't

25:01

do that. one guy like saw a guy it

25:03

on him a show, he was like a

25:05

straight edge hardcore guy and he He goes,

25:07

you was like people smoking in the

25:09

crowd a he was grabbing cigarettes out of

25:11

their mouths saw a guy were lit show, slapping

25:13

them. full pimp like full pimp slapping everybody,

25:15

nobody did anything. Straight edge punk guys

25:17

can suck my fucking dick guys can suck really

25:19

they're really gay They're the know

25:21

they suck people. like a

25:23

it's common it's almost like seeing like a

25:25

cowboy in the street these days I'm just

25:27

like oh wow that exists like a, it's almost to

25:29

you it's good a cowboy in look at this

25:31

shit this is infuriating fuck this guy oh

25:33

wow, that exists still. Like while

25:36

like, like off to you, it's

25:38

good. Yeah, look at this shit,

25:40

this is infuriating, fuck this guy.

25:42

He just beating that kid out.

25:44

He just like laughs at him.

25:46

Everybody's gonna target him. him. You're

25:48

just - punching people. is this a

25:50

a lot? I want to, I want, I, turn

25:52

into a I religious religious, like, like a puritanical

25:54

guy guy when I watch things

25:57

like this. I want to

25:59

like I want to. I feel you. I

26:01

hate this. We're trying to get it

26:03

going man, you know. He's just punching

26:05

people. That's not mosh, is that moshing?

26:08

In moshing they just punch? No. I

26:10

mean like, and hardcore shows they'll do

26:12

that shit. There's some accepting etiquette here

26:15

that I personally don't know, but if

26:17

you really watch his punches close, he's

26:19

not really hitting people. No, yeah, he's

26:22

like what he does hit, he's like.

26:24

when he hit that kid it was

26:26

like the back of his hand kind

26:29

of like still hurts guarantee it hurt

26:31

like hell it didn't look like it

26:33

really hurt that bad kids are rubbing

26:36

the back of his head yeah he's

26:38

like a hundred and you know ten

26:40

pounds he's a little twin so then

26:43

this guy this kid punches another guy

26:45

and then this little fucking this blue

26:47

beanied fag stops him I mean there's

26:50

also a rule about like Somebody who's

26:52

facing away from me shouldn't hit. That's

26:54

all he's been doing. But he's not,

26:57

he's like just swinging around wildly. He

26:59

has to go up facing a guy

27:01

he's facing away. Yeah, I guess. Yeah,

27:04

he's just trying to get a go.

27:06

There's a retard. He's a retard, but

27:08

I mean, and why would you be

27:11

in the crowd? They're all dumb for

27:13

being there. Yeah, now they're gonna fight.

27:15

What an awful environment. It's like, it's

27:18

truly, it's straight up like cringe. It's

27:20

really cringey. Horrible environments. I mean, you're

27:22

in like a brightly lit room punching

27:25

like teenagers. Right. Because you like a

27:27

certain type of music. Except the FW,

27:29

you're at. Yeah. I could never do

27:32

it. I like comfy chairs and I

27:34

like, I like being comfortable. What is

27:36

with these pieces of shit? I bet

27:39

they all, they all, nothing look like

27:41

they wiped, they wiped their ass. Well,

27:43

I guarantee a lot of these guys

27:46

are straightage, these guys are straightage, too.

27:48

I don't think they all have 14-year-old

27:50

girl for instance. I remember taking you

27:53

to punk shows back in the day.

27:55

Yeah, they pulled my pants off, tried

27:57

to rip my cock off. I was

28:00

at the bottom of a mosh pit,

28:02

my pants were coming off. Four is

28:04

a little devvy. I was probably different.

28:07

The actual visual of someone like pulling

28:09

someone's cock till it comes off is...

28:11

I got stretch arms strong. It just

28:14

pops right off. It was horrible. I

28:16

had no idea what was going on.

28:18

I'm standing there, ready to watch some

28:21

band play and listen to the music

28:23

and enjoy the music and the minute

28:25

it starts, everyone just starts punching each

28:28

other and dragging me to hell with

28:30

them. It's for morons. There are fucking

28:32

pieces of shit morons. Enjoy the music

28:35

fagget. Last time I got, it was

28:37

an actual like, like, mosh pit was

28:39

at the, and people. You're at a

28:42

wicket, mosh. I'm singing popular. I want

28:44

to be popular. I want to be

28:46

popular. But no, it was for X,

28:49

X, X, X, X, and Tassian. Oh

28:51

yeah. I went with two other comics

28:53

and I just truly got my shit

28:56

rock by a bunch of 15-year-olds. Yeah.

28:58

Those kids are wild, right? Yeah. That

29:00

was the worst constant I've ever been

29:03

new in my entire life. I fucking

29:05

hated. Yeah, look at me. I thought

29:07

that was the other guy. No. Look

29:10

at me. Fuck on me. Willy. Yeah.

29:12

I kind of like it. Oh, you're

29:14

thinking of, wait, Willie. Oh, I'm thinking

29:17

Takashi 69. Yeah, you are. Yeah, yeah,

29:19

yeah. But yeah that show fucking suck

29:21

because he had that one song he

29:24

played it like nine times. He's dead

29:26

now. He's dead now. He's dead now.

29:28

Yeah, he's dead now. They were just

29:31

practicing what, how he acted with his,

29:33

with his, they were pretending everyone was

29:35

their pregnant girlfriend. They were following their

29:38

pregnant girlfriend. They were following, they were

29:40

following their pregnant girlfriend. They were following

29:42

their, they were following their pregnant girlfriend.

29:45

They were, they were like, they were

29:47

like, just keeping. There you go, there

29:49

you go, Mike, pretend it's a pigeon,

29:52

Mike. Suck on my

29:54

mic. Hey, it's

29:56

not an E, it's

29:59

a Mic. Fuck

30:01

it, really? Baby, I'm

30:03

milky. I

30:10

remember I went to the show in Illinois when

30:12

I was... What is that? No, the music. I

30:14

mean, I just... I know, like, everyone has their

30:16

I don't know what that is. It's lost. I

30:18

hate it. What is that? There's, like, levels to

30:20

it. But I remember I was at the show

30:23

in Illinois and everyone was moshing. It was at

30:25

the same show that guy was slapping people with

30:27

the cigarettes in their mouths. And a sewage pipe

30:29

broke from the upstairs bathroom into the basement where

30:31

the show was. And the basement was... I sort

30:33

of got the roof was six feet tall so

30:35

they're, like, taller dudes, like, banging their heads on

30:37

the... People were bleeding and there was shit water

30:39

everywhere. And people were, like, kicking it up and

30:41

it was just the craziest thing I've ever been

30:43

to in my life. You would have hated it.

30:45

Yeah, sounds like everyone would hate that. It was

30:47

kind of fun. It

30:50

was, like, world -to -world. quiet taste. water. I don't

30:52

know if you would have liked it. It was,

30:54

like, where I belong. Yeah, was great, man. We

30:56

created a new disease that knows. Yeah.

31:01

I hate it. I hate that guy.

31:04

And I hate the whole culture. I

31:09

don't know. Which body cam do you want

31:12

to watch? So you guys have a real

31:14

low energy one today. We're getting... We got

31:16

a... It's a marathon today. Not a sprint.

31:18

know what I mean? We're doing a public

31:20

app. Yeah, I'm trying my hardest. great. I'm

31:22

saving it for the guys. I'm saving it

31:24

for the video ads. Everyone just is, like,

31:27

Hey. I will say

31:29

you picked, like, Okay, here's the guy

31:31

with the crossbow. Nothing happens. And then

31:33

you're like, Okay, here's a... Pretty much

31:35

every video, almost nothing happens. Here's a

31:37

mosh pit that nobody cares about, where

31:39

there's, like, there's a trillion of these

31:41

online. Let's watch that. What if Peter

31:43

D. killed Luigi with his penis? That

31:45

actually... In hindsight, that... I was the

31:47

best part of episode. I breathe a

31:50

heat. If Peter D. killed the... The

31:53

palito... The

31:55

prosciutto... I

31:58

think that's a great joke.

32:00

Well, this one says imagine doing this. I happened

32:02

Papa? a fucking in my face

32:04

like a fucking idiot like a

32:07

fucking idiot. Oh my god. Oh, you fucking gross. I

32:09

got I bleed for this

32:11

shit I fucking, I believe for ain't shit motherfucker.

32:13

You're like a joker. Connor, you

32:15

you ever, you the allegations.

32:18

ain't ever beaten the allegations.

32:20

Like That's really fucked up. a coagulent.

32:22

look like the Joker, dude. It's

32:24

right in the crook of your

32:26

mouth when you eat nothing. does, dude,

32:28

dude. It's It's so creepy. creepy. Oh hey,

32:30

you're so so do, look like the

32:32

Joker. you You look like the

32:34

Joker. I'm the Joker, the I got

32:36

really. I got the scab. I too much, and

32:39

I much and I broke out. I drink too

32:41

much beer, and my rosacea. You want to go? I

32:43

got this scab. I lowered

32:45

my immune system from my

32:47

immune system much much every night. I woke

32:49

woke up with my deck. I a crack

32:51

in my neck. I cooked my I slept

32:54

too well slept too well. I didn't shift. the next thing

32:56

was neck thing was fucked up. I

32:58

could only turn like this. my head just

33:00

from sleeping yeah no it from sleeping. the second I woke

33:02

up I the second I woke up,

33:04

I remember be my head and it

33:06

like, still fucking hurts can't it go this way hurts. I

33:09

can't fully go this way. There's so

33:11

many things like that in life is it's

33:13

like you go, is the point? thing I got injured

33:15

at sleep yeah hmm have you ever did get sleep. or how did you

33:17

get it just you ever, did you get a

33:19

massage or how did you this happened me me like

33:21

ten times like ten times my life times in my life.

33:23

life I can't And I can feel the moment

33:25

it happens. It's like a weird, like

33:27

I can feel like a bone shift down.

33:29

feel like a like shift down. It's like I shift to a there

33:31

I I can feel like the down in there

33:33

then I'm like, can I can't move it.

33:35

down click and then massage always helps me with

33:37

that. You threw it's always just like me

33:39

kind of trying to helps in your

33:41

case it's boyfriend. You could ask me

33:43

with that, but it's always just Yeah, I couldn't

33:45

even drive anywhere. That was the

33:47

problem I can't move can't

33:49

move my head. like Batman forever.

33:51

I have that that a

33:54

lot. I'm like suit. bat suit. Mm-hmm.

33:56

Hey, good riff, right?

33:58

Hey. riff, right? Hey Yeah,

34:00

you're like fucking, you

34:02

like fucking, you like say like, hey. Yeah,

34:05

like like, hey. I'm like, I'm like Batman and

34:07

shit. You like put on

34:09

a suit, on a suit. You

34:11

like drive around in your

34:13

car, you pretend it's

34:15

the Batmobile. car, you pretend it's the Batmobile.

34:18

Hey. You got Hey. You're like, like your you're

34:20

Batman. It's like your ceiling

34:22

light is like your bat

34:24

signal in the car. signal in the car.

34:26

I had something really something really depressing

34:29

happen to me. me, office one

34:31

night. Could you eat office get you

34:33

and then not do you? No, no, I had a,

34:35

like a few weeks back. I

34:37

was laying in my laying in like, my

34:39

day my where I sleep. I sleep,

34:41

and then I heard like, you full your full-time bed

34:43

it? Not a day bed,

34:45

yeah. It's also my night daybed, yeah,

34:47

also my also my It's also

34:50

my also my couch. It's my, also my

34:52

dresser. chair, table. my there and I

34:54

just hear table. like right outside my door

34:56

outside my door. chunks in blowing and like

34:58

the hallway. and I like wait a like,

35:00

like 20 And I like wait

35:02

a good like 20 minutes there's like

35:04

crackheads that live around the corner.

35:06

I I found their their the communal

35:08

sink one day. one day And so

35:10

that happens. up for that's really a guy And I

35:12

go out and it smells like his leg is He ripped

35:14

his off. crack it in his leg. He's spine

35:16

His spine hopping away half. away from a

35:18

sticky trap. have to have to throw him

35:20

in a dumpster. The second The gets the

35:22

crack is what they always say. is what

35:25

they always say. So that happens. And I'm like,

35:27

that's really gross. And I go out

35:29

and it smells like fucking horrible. And

35:31

they won't clean it till the following

35:33

digs on the day And people come in.

35:35

it it's because no one's supposed to

35:37

live there. day. Exactly. It's because

35:39

a guy is supposed a guy is

35:41

supposed to be in there on

35:43

his laptop for like three

35:45

hours and then and at least

35:47

it's not At least it's not it tomorrow.

35:49

and get it happens. That's like a

35:51

prelude to this. I'm like

35:53

laying in the So I'm This is

35:55

like a few nights daybed again,

35:57

gotta keep like a few nights ago. of

35:59

furniture. known as a daybed right

36:01

the futon not really a futon doesn't

36:03

fold it is a daybed well

36:05

when you're on it's called a gay

36:07

bed damn bro um but uh

36:09

yeah hey so I'm laying in it

36:11

and I hear this person outside

36:13

in the hallway like like

36:16

psycho sobbing like like

36:18

freak like Like

36:21

a man though and he's like freaking

36:23

like I'm like oh shit. is

36:26

that the vomit guy and he's like

36:28

he's on drugs yeah it's just

36:30

me the vomit guy no it's not

36:32

like I'm like holy fuck and

36:34

I'm like uh I give it I

36:36

keep hearing him screaming in the

36:38

hallway and he's like having the worst

36:40

night ever yeah he's screaming and

36:43

then eventually I'm like I should go

36:45

check on him because maybe he's

36:47

been raped or something sure Why would

36:49

he have been raped like he's

36:51

screaming post -rape? a lot of,

36:53

There's a lot a

36:57

lot of like studios in my building, and

36:59

I'm always like, I'm like maybe they did

37:01

some diddy shit to some guy, you know?

37:03

What a weird conclusion. I get panicked. I

37:05

jump to conclude if if you get diddied

37:07

in that building, that's on you. I know,

37:09

I know. That's fully on you. I'm not

37:11

getting diddied. But I a knife, so I

37:13

like it in the back of my pants,

37:15

and I went out there and I tried

37:17

to find him. I couldn't find him anymore.

37:19

He was gone. So I went downstairs. and

37:21

I go to the security guy and I

37:23

go uh there's a man freaking out on the

37:25

10th floor and he goes I know he's

37:27

Denzel and I was like oh I know Denzel

37:29

that's the vomit man he said he's Denzel

37:31

Denzel Denzel It's Mr. Washington My

37:36

He's a wife, can't come out, he

37:38

live in the office, babe. So

37:40

I had his dog stolen

37:42

on the street. he's

37:44

a street guy he's no he's a he

37:46

lives there but like all these black dudes

37:48

walk around that the dogs on leash was

37:50

stolen car pulled up grabbed his dog drove

37:52

fuck off Went upstairs and just started like

37:54

freaking out and then threw up and no

37:56

this is two weeks ago he threw up

37:58

and then he started freaking he's crying because he's

38:01

like my baby's been stolen basically he's always

38:03

with his dog he loves his dog type

38:05

of dog is it a little tiny little

38:07

tiny dog is it worth anything it must

38:09

be a French bulldog and then he's freaking

38:11

out and then he's freaking out and then

38:13

like and then I try to go back

38:15

to bed and then he starts vomiting and

38:17

all my god oh sweet oh pretty You

38:20

put your office to be like, thanks pal,

38:22

like you're rude. It's like, I knock on

38:24

his door like I have a souffle. Like,

38:26

it's just office. He was on you in

38:28

a paper bowl. Boy, oh, I'm pretty dog.

38:30

I like to welcome you. I'd like to

38:32

welcome you to the neighborhood. It's like a

38:34

tip foil over the place. I have office

38:36

B for you. I have a bowl of

38:38

onions as well. He throws up immediately. No,

38:40

I think he's getting, he's panic attack. I

38:43

just felt horrible for him. I don't understand

38:45

how his dog was stolen who wasn't some

38:47

super valuable dogs. It was probably a super

38:49

valuable dog, but also like they just, the

38:51

homeless guys will just steal your fucking dog.

38:53

Because I talked to the daytime security guy

38:55

and he was like, yeah, yeah, there was

38:57

like, there was a daytime security guy, there

38:59

was like, there was a dude here, there

39:01

was a dude here, there was a dude

39:04

here, there was a dude here, there was

39:06

a dude here, there was a dude here,

39:08

there was a dude here, A very expensive

39:10

French bulldog, like a rare collar, rare breed

39:12

and everything, and he would just walk around

39:14

outside, like talking on his phone, all the

39:16

dog went around, homeless guy stole his dog,

39:18

and then when he came back in, he

39:20

was like, is somebody playing a joke on

39:22

me? And he's like, no, your dog's been

39:24

stolen. And the security guy was, how much

39:27

do you pay for that dog? 15K. He

39:29

paid for that dog. Yeah. He lives in

39:31

the office. No, all people work there. I'm

39:33

the sneaky one. Got it. But Denzel. You

39:35

didn't tell one of your other friends. You're

39:37

still staying there because you blackmailed the security

39:39

guard that caught you living there. You caught

39:41

him drinking on the job. I found out

39:43

they all drink on the job and I

39:45

realized he was going to say, he was

39:47

going to say, he was getting naughty with

39:50

me and then I caught him and then

39:52

I caught him and then I left. I

39:54

didn't let him know. No. They all like

39:56

me now though. All the security guards are

39:58

down on me. Yeah man, that's man

40:00

sad. It was That's really sad. you're really sad. soon? you think I'm to

40:02

give up on this soon? year. Wow. Yeah, I really like it. No,

40:04

think I'm gonna give it like another year. you just like. Yeah, yeah. You're

40:06

gonna give it a whole other year. I like it. I like it. You're it it a whole other year.

40:09

I like it. You can afford an whole other year. I like it. I'm said.

40:11

gotten it together yet. give it a whole it year.

40:13

I like it. yet. I afford an apartment. haven't gotten it

40:15

can afford a studio easily at this point.

40:17

gotten it together yet. I a few hundred bucks more yet.

40:19

I afford a studio. yet. I gotten it together. I it

40:21

together yet. I haven't I'm not I'm

40:23

not ready to leave it step I haven't

40:25

getting it together. gotten it No. Yeah. Kind of

40:27

is. Yeah. Kind of is of is like

40:29

getting your like home situation home It's

40:31

kind of like the first step.

40:33

Whatever. is kind of like the first step. Whatever, dude. I'll

40:36

get out when I'm ready. Yeah, get out

40:38

when I my little hermit my little

40:40

shell. John's idea idea of getting

40:42

it together It's like I

40:44

started throwing broccoli I my office.

40:46

throwing broccoli like my news my

40:48

office next was like good news.

40:50

I'm eating more cruciferous vegetables

40:52

Good news. I'm eating more cruciferous god bless

40:54

you We're all sick of each

40:56

other. Yeah. I mean, it's just weird. You

40:58

look good. You dress well. You're just

41:00

weird you'd look good

41:02

you you know, sometimes remembers

41:04

things and. a smart guy remember

41:06

you know, sometimes remembers

41:08

things things. It is weird. We were driving

41:11

of the time you're he ten percent

41:13

of the time this building's were driving

41:15

around and he goes Oh, well,

41:17

What was that? And I he goes

41:19

what was that and

41:21

I was like it was

41:23

a right And he goes, used

41:25

to go there go there. Yeah,

41:27

we're on our way to do it right now,

41:29

buddy. Yeah, we did. Yeah. We did. Like we

41:31

remembered his granddaughter's day. Yeah. It's like, I'm moving

41:33

a moment. And you are, you are you

41:36

are Devin. Joey. Oh, Joey. We do a

41:38

podcast together. We all of a Yeah, on our way to do it

41:40

of us. now, we're on our way to do

41:42

it right now. a just had a

41:44

weird feeling I don't know. I just don't know.

41:46

I just remember going there with you. Yeah,

41:48

it it makes sense. Yeah, down

41:50

the street from street entire

41:52

life. house entire everyone would remember

41:54

without being shocked by that

41:57

memory. without being shocked by that Yeah,

41:59

you know. I Continue

42:02

right well an entitled Karen had

42:04

an insufferable traffic stop perfect. She's black

42:06

though Yeah,

42:08

yeah, but she looks, who knows,

42:10

she looks like she, uh... she's

42:13

got that that she's got that. poodle

42:16

in her now mean any

42:18

obnoxious any obnoxious bitch Karen actually has two

42:20

out of a spectrum It's like a

42:22

woman can be like accused of like killing

42:24

her black boy from the right classic

42:26

Karen And I'm like well It's a different

42:28

word for a murderer Karen's a kind

42:30

of a nuisance, but uh I'm

42:33

driving, you're parked on the sidewalk, give yourself

42:35

a ticket. I Love when they

42:37

think that's gonna work

42:39

Fuck Fuck

42:41

you got me Will

42:47

you talk to me if I do

42:49

like fucked up chiefs gonna be pissed Why

42:58

don't you give yourself a ticket it's like the same as

43:00

like being like you're not invited my birthday Lots

43:08

is in Lots is in registration,

43:10

you're not free to leave, I'm

43:12

not gonna ask again or you will go to

43:14

jail for I

43:28

need you sergeant. That's

43:30

my right. Yeah,

43:39

sick I'm gonna do that every time you could

43:41

just be like like a cop ones over you

43:43

can just like demand to see people Bring me

43:45

General Patton Right now I want to talk to

43:47

General Patton Bring

43:51

me General Petraeus I want to

43:53

talk to Petraeus right now It's

43:56

phone rings at three in the morning Tax

43:58

dollars! No more tax! Thrys. Is red

44:00

flower in the Pentagon? Okay, fuck! These really

44:02

people don't know other rights like you!

44:04

A caring girl. A caring you Fuck, okay!

44:06

Bah, fuck, just carry them on to

44:08

talk to - ...general

44:11

patriot! like a huge fight hit his

44:13

wife She's like who is it because

44:15

I have to go honey She goes,

44:17

working Honey, there's a in Phoenix that

44:19

demanded to talk me I gotta get

44:21

the Air Force One now are you

44:23

gonna make to your son's birthday party

44:25

Marene? I don't know man it's Karen

44:27

in Phoenix I have to handle right

44:29

now. Sorry, Sorry I believe in constitutional

44:31

rights and a Karen in Phoenix demanded

44:34

see That's the job babe you knew

44:36

that when you married me. Stand

44:39

back up she's refusing to identify

44:41

herself. She's about to be detained. Yup.

44:43

That's try me. That's trying me.

44:45

License and registration. That's trying me. Let's

44:47

trying me. What are you pulling

44:49

me over for? avoiding the traffic signal.

44:51

drunk. I'm not avoiding I drop

44:53

off my child. Oh. where I drop

44:55

off my child. Man,

44:58

this is your fucking

45:00

mom. I know. Yeah.

45:03

Boy, I'm just crazy.

45:05

2018. Are you

45:07

in the blue shirt? Yeah, still in

45:09

blue. too. Brock called. Crazy. You're gonna answer

45:11

it? No. I trying to silence it.

45:13

Oh yeah. Sweet Brock called me that Dave's

45:15

something. Oh he called me too. I

45:17

never got back to him. And he just

45:19

like sends me reels on Instagram like

45:21

a like a schizo. Yeah. He me like

45:23

boomer shit. I'm like, He might as

45:25

well send me emails where you're like shoot

45:27

at Osama Bin Laden and stuff. Instagram

45:32

I believe too tough. Yeah I remember

45:34

one time when I was a kid

45:36

my dad left his email open and

45:38

I clicked on something and it was

45:40

like a porn thing that his friend

45:42

sent to him. Like a pornographic photo

45:44

being like dude check this out and

45:46

I remember being like sick through my

45:48

stomach over it. Really? Like so disappointed

45:50

in my father. I don't know why

45:52

I had these like guilty conscience moments

45:54

or like I just had such a

45:56

like I'd punish myself for doing that.

45:58

Yeah. But I thought my dad was

46:00

like going to hell and I wasn't

46:02

raised on any religious whatsoever but I

46:04

like He's bad guys. He was sending porn to sent him

46:06

bro. No, it's photo and it was like a funny naked photo.

46:08

out. know, you know, the older be on Twitter just be

46:10

like, dude, check this out. Yeah. Somebody would just be we

46:12

were like all warming up on the

46:14

mat one time and he got

46:16

his phone, opened it up and

46:19

it was just loud, like

46:21

porn up on the mat one time and and

46:23

slapping and stuff. it. And so

46:25

must have done one of those

46:27

to him but it played

46:29

for everybody at the gym. for everybody

46:31

at the dying. was just like, started

46:33

dying. He was just like, oh, geez, God, his

46:35

phone off and put it back

46:37

in the bin it was

46:39

very good. back in the bin, Let's get

46:41

back to business. He's a He

46:43

goes, everybody, let's get back to business. He's a

46:45

Let's get back to business. All

46:48

right, enough silly talk, enough horseplay,

46:50

let's get back to business.

46:52

It's so funny so funny when

46:54

I think they get sassy wait

46:56

their way out of this shit. What else? I pay your

46:58

tax dollars! That's really the whole, love I

47:00

I love when they think anyone gives a

47:02

fuck about that. Do you think that ever

47:04

worked in like about that. You can talk to

47:07

a cop ever worked in like the 60s? You can talk to cop and this.

47:09

It works if guy like, like, like, like thinks anything matters.

47:11

Eddie Griffith, the cop, yeah. I think it

47:13

works if you also like know the law

47:15

really well too. like, thinks but - This woman

47:17

just saying a thing she's heard from videos

47:19

like this. You have to say it exactly

47:21

how it is by the law. You don't

47:24

just get to go it exactly know, how

47:26

me speak by how it. Also if you committed

47:28

a - a traffic you have

47:30

to show your have to can't just

47:32

like audit your way out of

47:34

it. audit So she must have of

47:36

crime she must have committed a she's

47:38

trying to audit her way out, but you

47:40

can't do it. to audit her way

47:43

out, but you can't do it I didn't

47:45

do anything, I'm waiting for your the one

47:47

I'm waiting for your sergeant! I'm under arrest your

47:49

sergeant. You go around your the now. I don't really know someone

47:51

else is is in the car know know

47:53

it's fucked up is like my mom

47:55

would back talk constantly and like I

47:57

knew in the back of my head

47:59

that like if If this this ever happened or

48:01

she was getting arrested and I didn't fight

48:03

the cops she would never love me again the cop

48:05

she would never love me again. It

48:07

was the the scariest moment of

48:09

my life. I'd be like

48:11

I feel like I was like 12 my would

48:14

be would be talking. I'm sorry, didn't sign up.

48:16

Exactly, dude. It was so fucking scary. You would have

48:18

to to have jumped in. Oh my have

48:20

gotten you would have gotten tased, possibly shot. I'm

48:22

just like, oh, scared. I my mom mom

48:24

up my mom went the

48:26

wrong way wrong way. The school

48:28

bus bus had sign sign out, my

48:30

mom crossed a a double yellow

48:33

to go around the school

48:35

bus then, my mom was a gee, by the way,

48:37

she by the way she police police officers the

48:39

pull the cop that pulled her over was was

48:41

fucking black. And she rolled the window down like this

48:43

much and just pulling the over as a blonde white woman, huh? Oh. I

48:45

was like, hell yeah, mom. But I'm in the back seat, I'm like, I'm like

48:47

I'm like, I'm gonna have to fight this in the Your i'm

48:49

like happening. It's so fucking was like i'm gonna have

48:51

to fight this just gave a ticket and she took it. But she's a

48:53

man. Yeah, she never took a ticket from a cop. I did he

48:55

say do you remember? mom, just gave her a

48:57

ticket mom, she took it my she's a man

48:59

my she never took shit from anybody one, one, one,

49:01

one, one, one, from a cop one, one, one, one, one, one, one,

49:03

mom my mom one time one, one, one, one, one, one

49:05

She had a she had a like a mMW this guy

49:07

in a Prius was pulling out of a

49:10

parking spot and he's taking fucking forever so

49:12

my mom honked at him and he pulled

49:14

out and then pulled taking his window down

49:16

and went calm the fuck down bitch and

49:18

my mom looked at him and went fuck

49:20

you in your faggot car. pulled out and

49:22

then pulled forward and

49:24

rolled his window down

49:26

and went calm the fuck down bitch and my mom looked at

49:29

this on the main fuck you and your

49:31

Yeah, she's the man. My parents never spas

49:33

in a cool way, it parents never spas. a

49:35

cool way. It was just a

49:37

like really embarrassing. Yeah, it would be was

49:39

embarrassing. was My mom was like, her

49:42

brother was like a like veteran

49:44

that was like really hardcore was raised around

49:46

was raised around tough people. spas in

49:48

But I would just in a public

49:50

in a way that we couldn't

49:52

just, we go back to that to that

49:55

place. Well, what was the spas? I don't know if I

49:57

told that subway story on here on here

49:59

before but to. subway sandwiches when I was a kid. And

50:02

you remember when we were kids, the kid's meal was like

50:04

a little bun. Do you remember that? was not like it

50:06

wasn't six inch. So we go in there and he's like,

50:08

getting a sandwich from my mom and him and he goes,

50:10

can I get a turkey kid's meal? They goes, yeah, we

50:12

can do this turkey kid's meal, but we don't have any

50:14

more buns. You know, was like,

50:16

okay, just fucking make a six inch. Yeah. And

50:18

he's like, well, we can't do that. But

50:20

that's like, what do you mean? he's like, well,

50:22

it's with the charger for six inch, Now a me.

50:25

But I was like, well, this is on you. How is, Why

50:27

do I have to pay if you guys fucked up and I

50:29

need more buns? It's just all fucking bread. And And

50:31

he just got into a loop, and kept going. It's

50:33

all bread. Bread

50:36

is made. The guy was like, yes

50:38

sir, I understand, but like it's not, I don't make

50:40

the rules here, he goes, it's all fucking bread though.

50:42

And he just keeps saying it's all bread and nothing

50:44

else, and then it's all bread just got louder and

50:46

louder and louder, the the where he was screaming, IT'S

50:49

ALL FUCKING BREAD man. And he started like, hitting the

50:51

chips off the rack and all that stuff, and like,

50:53

a came in was like, get the fuck out of

50:55

here! Holy shit! And I was like, holy shit! It

50:57

was one of those moments where you're like, looking at

50:59

your dad and you're like, this can't be about bread.

51:01

No, No, yeah, yeah. love Like there's something happening at

51:03

work. Places are like uh... Like

51:06

like fast food places like that they see

51:08

a guy at the end of his rope

51:10

like once a month like that's like a

51:12

classic It's almost like a trope. Yeah Where

51:14

a guy having just the worst day of

51:16

his life pulls up to a drive through

51:18

and he's like I want a double cheeseburger

51:21

But, know, hold the lettuce,

51:23

tomato, whatever, and there's like, oh, sure, we actually

51:25

can. And And he goes, all right, and they

51:27

just like flip. That's all got. Michael Douglas in

51:30

the movie where he starts going berserker, I can't

51:32

remember the name. Falling down. Falling down. Yeah, I

51:34

mean, it's funny, because I can honestly like maybe

51:36

trace that back to the first time my dad

51:38

got audited. I think it was around that time.

51:40

So it was like for sure something terrible was

51:42

happening about dad's Oh, I thought your dad got

51:44

audited by the first time ever. I was like,

51:46

oh, what the hell? No, no, no, no. But

51:48

like something must have been happening. Sure. And it

51:50

was just this poor. Subway employees fault But also

51:52

fuck him Yeah. It

51:54

is just bread. Your dad is right. It's

51:57

the same cost. Your dad is right. He's

51:59

completely right. I - He could said said, well, I

52:01

cut it down so it's

52:03

not a six not then we

52:05

can make more meals by cutting

52:07

kids meals by cutting the six inch half. Yeah, my dad

52:09

fucking chairs place, tables And I

52:11

was like all right. Well, we'll

52:13

never come back to this

52:15

subway ever again didn't really see

52:17

my dad have many this in

52:19

public. He kind of saved Yeah,

52:21

I me really see my dad have many outbursts in

52:23

him for He kind of saved dad game

52:25

day. My dad, waste any energy on

52:27

on. on civilians. He's playing for you

52:29

and you and for the cage He saved

52:31

it for the cage match. Yeah, my mom was

52:33

mom walk into the house with

52:35

a guy massaging his neck and a towel

52:37

around him. He comes in with a John Schena theme

52:40

music playing. Yeah, I mean, I've told it it

52:42

before but I'll never forget

52:44

when he came home with

52:46

boxing came home with boxing gloves. Crazy. Are you

52:48

serious? I was fat. He was like, John, you've heard

52:50

this, a meal. so funny. No, my

52:52

was super calm too, my mom

52:54

was a fighter. She was

52:56

cool was cool, Yeah. One earliest memories

52:58

is her getting is her a full in

53:00

fight with like four black like fight

53:02

with parking lot. was fucking awesome a

53:04

McDonald's parking lot. It was She's the man. thrown

53:07

boats? Yeah. Damn. She's She was not taking She

53:09

was not like that. fight. like the riverboat fight. It's a clue.

53:11

My mom does not does not take shit.

53:13

I remember I was walking through walking

53:15

grocery store and I was drinking like

53:17

a can of I and I put

53:19

the coke on the a can of you

53:21

know, display coke on the I was just

53:24

littering technically. You know mean? Somebody

53:26

has I that up and some woman

53:28

was following me with the You know, I mean,

53:30

somebody mom clean that around a corner like

53:32

was following me she was just like, don't

53:34

you ever hey, bang. to my son around

53:36

a corner like, fucking woman just like It was just

53:39

like, don't you ever fucking talk. That's what went Yeah, man.

53:41

I I got bar fight. I wasn't there for you. Manchester by

53:43

the scene? Not really. You the you've been around my dad drunk.

53:45

He's around my dad drunk. He's a

53:47

very loving man. He's very he's

53:49

all about You know what I'm talking about talking

53:51

about. History, he's the best guy. songs so I want and

53:53

they're at the songs with you. Yeah. And which

53:56

the local the Rattler, which the local smelling like

53:58

beef in here? is a beef in here. That's

54:00

the worst Somebody's farting cuz I smell

54:02

them too. That's not your mouth.

54:04

It's coming from your mouth. Do you

54:06

like salami earlier or something? burping.

54:08

Okay. So yeah, I try believe me.

54:10

No, I keep smelling it In

54:13

proximity to me And I'm like it's

54:15

no way every 30 seconds. It smells

54:17

like a like a charcoal grill John

54:20

and I went to some like Lebanese street

54:22

food guys earlier. Was it good? Not really John

54:24

like pretending. It was like amazing It was

54:26

very good. Okay. It was very good. They took

54:28

like forever to bring us some like I liked

54:30

the sandwiches It was a really nice sandwich, so

54:32

you're dead on a fight. I hope their homeland

54:35

is destroyed They're

54:38

at the local bar and my parents are

54:40

very like outwardly friendly drunks, and there's a

54:42

guy sitting by himself a bar At the

54:44

bar in my my mom walks up to

54:46

me She goes, Hey, how are you? What's going

54:49

on with you like, what are you

54:51

fucking some kind of whore? What? And

54:53

she was like, no, I'm want to see if

54:55

I can get you a drink. You seem kind

54:57

of sad by yourself. He goes, I don't know

54:59

what the fuck this is. calling her a slut.

55:01

And then she goes like your dad's right in

55:03

all these situations. Yeah Yeah, he's and I He's

55:05

completely right. and my my dad walks over and

55:07

my dad has not competition goes, hey, buddy, heard

55:09

to you, use some choice words of my wife.

55:11

you okay, man? Can I get you a beer?

55:13

Whoa? Whoa, that's super nice. Yes. And then the

55:15

guy goes, what kind of, is this some kind

55:17

of fucking Cuck Like calling my dad a fag,

55:19

like you want me to fuck your wife. The

55:21

old guy's stupid. Hold your guys calling

55:23

each other I You guys run after Don't

55:25

watch you trying to watch me fuck your

55:27

whore wife Keep saying that. but dad's like,

55:29

no, I don't mean that. My dad never

55:32

got confrontational with him. I would not fuck

55:34

with your dad, too. Well, my dad also

55:36

looks like a fucking fairy. it. don't know

55:38

about that. I mean, he's not like a

55:40

physically... man man at this point. But yeah,

55:42

if that he was a champion wrestler, like

55:44

a They don't know that. I know that's

55:46

what I'm saying. For us, knowing that it

55:48

makes a more intimidating and he's like good

55:50

shape. But sure if you did if he's

55:52

an older and he's like thin and also yeah,

55:55

he's in a dive bar to hunger where he

55:57

looks like the gayest man there sure mean like

55:59

he's the one who's like well, he dies his hair, know

56:01

you know I mean? Like, this this guy I'm assuming

56:03

was pounds, bald, you know, and just like ugly. So then my you know, like, no,

56:05

no, I don't wanna do that at all. they might guy no, up to

56:07

don't want to do that at all. And the

56:09

guy gets I to like. like, I beat my

56:11

dad's ass, And my like, no, no, I don't wanna do that

56:13

my all. And the a hand on to this guy

56:15

just throws a punch and my dad dad's

56:17

like, like, beat wrestling. like, like, like, like, like, his neck

56:20

and his arm and threw him on the

56:22

ground. like, like, like, like, like, like, they like, my dad

56:24

out of like, my dad went back a

56:26

week later and the guy was in

56:28

an arm brace like, a neck brace. like, like, like,

56:30

Just like like fully fucked up, like my

56:32

dad walked in he my turned like this

56:34

and he goes, in he I have to he turned

56:36

like this he goes I have to say around. you sir a

56:38

bad night. Man I can't imagine if a

56:40

guy around oh you're fine

56:42

a bad night man I

56:44

can't imagine if a guy

56:47

ever if ever like got

56:49

up like that to me

56:51

what I would do yeah

56:53

what do you think you'd

56:55

do I go? No! No!

56:57

What's happening? I'm gonna meet

57:00

my maker! You're on your

57:02

knees knees. I don't know! I

57:04

usually turn my way out

57:06

of it! Sound button, you're

57:09

bad. Just take it! Take

57:11

it, rip my cock out!

57:13

I can't fuck it! I

57:15

don't get it! Rip my

57:17

money and cock out! I

57:20

think a fight, they

57:22

rip your traditional thing that

57:24

happens at

57:26

bars! When

57:28

you lose

57:31

a fight,

57:33

they rip

57:35

your gun!

57:37

And then

57:40

all your

57:42

blood shoots

57:44

out of

57:46

me! Pop

57:49

shoot out

57:51

of your

57:54

body bottle! Happy New

57:58

Year! on

58:00

shoulders like Boba

58:02

Fett That guy has

58:04

a taxidermy Devin's

58:06

cover -spotter fireplace, just

58:08

on a Mantle, my

58:10

god had

58:19

a good

58:21

run, a

58:24

gift of gab has failed me, my

58:28

silver tongue

58:31

has turned

58:33

to coal,

58:35

there we

58:37

go, oh Oh

58:40

god. this like

58:42

mortally chopping your head

58:44

up in the

58:47

the time, equals one

58:49

of those getting

58:51

my cock ripped. collected

58:58

They're collected like ears or

59:00

something My like it's

59:02

like the tongue neck and

59:04

the things carry, it's it's

59:07

like a

59:09

white scalping okay

59:11

back to the back back to

59:13

this entitled Karen's insufferable traffic stop get

59:18

a woman officer, a A

59:30

big cross on her back over

59:34

there. Stop

59:40

recording, that's your rights! F*** you! Yeah, just

59:42

don't put the mic on! nothing,

59:44

nothing, absolutely, yes

59:47

but I'm gonna be like, first gun, go for his

59:49

gun right now. you're a f***

59:51

you to stop. You're hurting Johnny, grab

59:53

this gun, Johnny, come,

59:55

please, gun, Johnny,

59:57

grab this gun Yeah.

1:00:03

I'm sorry. Oh,

1:00:08

God. No, it's a mercy

1:00:11

killing. I'M sorry. I

1:00:14

just got uncorked on

1:00:16

15th mainly. I I

1:00:18

have about 15 seconds

1:00:20

left. I just got

1:00:23

uncorked. Yeah,

1:00:26

sorry to pop my bottle. Sorry,

1:00:30

dad. Yeah. could have had

1:00:32

a problem. She's something to you.

1:00:34

I asked for a license. Don't

1:00:40

touch him. That's assault. You assaulted me. I'm

1:00:42

going to file an assault. push

1:00:44

me. Don't push me. That's

1:00:47

assault. That's the salt.

1:00:49

That's the salt. And you're not gonna

1:00:51

got me from dropping off my kids

1:00:53

safely. You are. And you're not letting

1:00:55

my kids f*****g walk to school and

1:00:57

I f*****g saw you here yesterday and

1:00:59

I did document it Turn the

1:01:01

f**k in. Why

1:01:08

is it covered? What's

1:01:16

your bad just don't how you spaz this hard

1:01:18

sober like I don't think she's fucked up Manipausal

1:01:21

she might just be yes. you know

1:01:23

I that 42 year old it was fucking

1:01:25

crazy Forty who's

1:01:27

young for menopause. it?

1:01:30

No pre -menopausal. I don't

1:01:32

know She's a crazy bitch. I just I'm

1:01:34

I'm talking about a doctor, but she was a

1:01:36

crazy bitch. She's a crazy psycho bitch, so,

1:01:38

you know. What does menopause mean? That means, like,

1:01:40

when the pussy blood, like a hormonal That

1:01:42

means when the pussy done mean, when... That's

1:01:46

when you to pussy. That's when the pussy you

1:01:48

Yeah, you hang it up. You

1:01:51

You know, rafters. You You hang it up at

1:01:53

the rafters, and it's just dripping with blood. Big

1:01:55

labia. Old labia

1:01:57

flap. Bunch

1:01:59

of old former although guys had fucked

1:02:01

her walk all They're all 80 years

1:02:03

old. They were tired of you, they care.

1:02:05

She used to grip it give

1:02:07

speeches. She had a used to

1:02:10

grip it. to push back on

1:02:12

your thing. She used to push back on

1:02:14

to push back on to push

1:02:16

back on your thing. She used to push

1:02:19

back on her. Are you refusing your

1:02:21

badge you refusing your badge number

1:02:23

and my right and that's your

1:02:25

job. a You're a public servant

1:02:27

You work for me me. I'm asking the

1:02:29

public servant. You're a What's your name?

1:02:31

What's your name? your name? you for

1:02:33

your name when you first

1:02:35

started illegally arresting me your

1:02:37

under arrest first started illegally

1:02:40

arresting me. Now you're under

1:02:42

hour It's all is crazy

1:02:44

third time. This week, public

1:02:46

floor is crazy. It's really unbelievable. The

1:02:49

boy surprised I'm piss

1:02:51

this bad. That's he isn't

1:02:53

pissed as bad. That's when

1:02:55

you retire. retired, the Straight

1:02:57

That's a female

1:02:59

version of getting That's a

1:03:01

female version of getting uncorked. This would

1:03:03

be it. You all have trips here

1:03:05

This would be

1:03:07

it. with it. I thought 'all have power

1:03:09

trips here my... Yeah. I'm done with

1:03:11

it of those Twitter threads. They

1:03:13

never of an threads. even

1:03:16

picked up my kids here. I even

1:03:18

pick up my kids here. I'm not

1:03:20

avoiding a... This is what I do

1:03:22

I drop her off right there legally

1:03:25

never been an issue until it comes

1:03:27

and tells me otherwise like, man, can

1:03:29

you stop rapping at me, please? wrapping

1:03:31

at me please? Yes, I for one. him

1:03:33

for one. He just me. me not

1:03:35

a abused me. He's not a he fired

1:03:37

me. not a doing

1:03:40

a He just battered me. She's not

1:03:42

a doing a firing herself need a

1:03:44

sergeant. I need a sergeant. He abused me

1:03:46

And he's illegally detaining I didn't

1:03:48

do nothing wrong. do nothing wrong. That

1:03:50

was a crazy pan. I didn't you

1:03:52

push me that Has he shit

1:03:54

on. me? That's a song. Ma'am, you got that shit

1:03:56

on. I shit, 'am. don't know your

1:03:59

camera. ma'am. I see. If I may, I do

1:04:01

I do not have that shit

1:04:03

on me shit on ma'am. This is basic. Yeah,

1:04:05

it kind of it kind of sucks

1:04:07

it it you know of the latest

1:04:09

with these you know. What's the latest with

1:04:11

think we did damn fucking, uh...

1:04:13

I think we did it. Like aliens and

1:04:15

The Joey! The drones? Uh, hear

1:04:17

You hear anything? I mean, I

1:04:19

don't think there's I think

1:04:21

it was, uh, they're looking for radioactive

1:04:23

material or some shit. Something got lost.

1:04:25

they're for imagined dragons. Yes,

1:04:28

very good, or some shit.

1:04:30

Something got right. They're from Israel,

1:04:32

right? Yeah, all right. I like to

1:04:34

end up. right? from Israel,

1:04:36

really? Look that up.

1:04:38

that up. If they are, they are that

1:04:40

my fucking line. Why? Because they're like, they like

1:04:42

they were so intrusive in our

1:04:45

lives for like ten years 10

1:04:47

years. Imagine Dragon's Tel Aviv. Aviv.

1:04:49

maybe maybe not yet. Oh, going were gonna.

1:04:51

in the ruins of a Palestinian

1:04:53

village. in the like of Jesus

1:04:55

Christ. funny. They're like Latter -day

1:04:58

Saints from Yeah, like something. Jesus Christ. sick,

1:05:00

though. so funny. That's sick. like How

1:05:02

come Al from like, had a lot of

1:05:04

good info on That's sick didn't talk about

1:05:06

aliens, we only talked about fucking aliens. had a

1:05:08

want to know about alien stuff? Yeah,

1:05:10

I just asked about it. night. I so much

1:05:12

about about But I thought, You didn't, you

1:05:14

don't have any more? more? No, I mean like I honestly

1:05:16

haven't been been keeping with with it

1:05:19

because all the the day or testimony stuff

1:05:21

and all the and testimonies became

1:05:23

just too, became just too monotonous. I think

1:05:25

it was just part of that

1:05:27

part soft soft soft They're restricting, uh,

1:05:29

they're restricting drone flights. drone flights Yeah, those

1:05:31

those are big fucking drones also like

1:05:33

it still happens. Welcome back here to the

1:05:35

Hill on News Welcome back here to

1:05:37

the Hill sightings of The nationwide drones of

1:05:39

mysterious drones folks to baffle folks

1:05:41

all over the country. And the

1:05:43

Federal Aviation Administration is now stepping

1:05:45

up. the agency implementing a drone

1:05:47

in parts of New York City and

1:05:49

Long Island. It comes just hours

1:05:51

after a similar ban in New Jersey.

1:05:54

Nation's Joining us now, News Nation's

1:05:56

special correspondent and investigative journalist,

1:05:58

Ross Ross Coulthart. He's the big guy. okay.

1:06:00

it. Always great to speak with you. But

1:06:02

that's like the whistleblower? pleasure to be the

1:06:04

but one who He's David Rush Oh, okay.

1:06:07

Got you Here

1:06:10

on this issue. I wanted to get to reaction

1:06:12

to two in particular. I had Leroy Chow. What

1:06:14

the hell? Who is an astronaut? and

1:06:16

has been on the International Space Station. So

1:06:18

he has an idea of what's up

1:06:21

in our skies. And what he told

1:06:23

me about the town Earlier this year.

1:06:25

Watch. to

1:06:27

me it seems like it's some

1:06:29

kind of military program or a

1:06:31

military program good evening no one

1:06:33

ever looks more like Leroy Chao.

1:06:35

That's the most Leroy Chao motherfucker

1:06:37

that's ever lived. That's so funny. So

1:06:40

that was his best guess. He also

1:06:42

said he had some orbs flying around him. What

1:06:45

you make of what Leroy Chow?

1:06:47

think it's very interesting because it

1:06:49

accords exactly with what I'm hearing

1:06:51

from people in the FBI, security,

1:06:53

and Defense on the ground in

1:06:56

New Jersey and other parts of

1:06:58

the East Coast. We're now not

1:07:00

just talking about what you would

1:07:02

call conventional Blake, these are objects

1:07:04

that in some cases are luminous

1:07:06

orbs, golden luminous orbs, and nobody

1:07:09

tells me that they are what

1:07:11

they think drill. Okay. this is

1:07:13

what I think, this is I is

1:07:15

what I think could be happening, right? So

1:07:19

The rumor is, with all the whistleblowing

1:07:21

and stuff, what has come out is

1:07:23

that we can predict when UFOs enter.

1:07:25

earth and enter our atmosphere. We

1:07:27

can predict when they come, we know,

1:07:29

and we actually have in some cases

1:07:31

shot them down. through that prediction. So

1:07:34

what they could be is like, oh fuck, they

1:07:36

got like 30 UFOs coming to Jersey. We don't

1:07:38

know why. Let's throw a bunch of drones out

1:07:40

there and confuse people because we can't just have

1:07:42

a bunch of UFO sightings again. Because everybody's got,

1:07:44

the thing is this video video technology has become

1:07:46

too accessible nowadays. It If it was the 1950s,

1:07:48

if a bunch of UFOs showed up in the

1:07:50

sky, it would be one thing. And I would

1:07:52

would get a great footage of the shit. like,

1:07:54

yeah, I saw them. And you'd go, sure, whatever

1:07:56

think, bitch. Okay, okay, Billy Bob, but now I

1:07:58

think this could be a Just your action, I don't know. also.

1:08:01

I think some of these drones are just like fucking

1:08:03

citizens are just like hopping on the the bandwagon It's

1:08:05

like, I'm gonna They're not that kind of drone though

1:08:08

I mean, it makes no sense if this was anything

1:08:10

else they would announce what it is, but it's starting

1:08:12

to feel - Aliens

1:08:14

here. See that that like that guy

1:08:16

sitting in his truck and he said

1:08:18

they are aliens? No, you say? all right

1:08:21

one sec, we'll end on this. Speak

1:08:23

amongst yourselves. Um, yeah.

1:08:27

That's how people watch you to find

1:08:29

this, because that's my favorite part of

1:08:31

the show. Oh, immediately. Wow, fucking, from

1:08:34

the first day. right, as you know,

1:08:36

I'm an armed military, whatever you want

1:08:38

to call it. Look, he's just

1:08:40

just a guy with down syndrome at the mall. We

1:08:45

are launching the drones up in the

1:08:48

sky as right now in New Jersey

1:08:50

and stuff in Texas everywhere. Like

1:08:53

guy is faking it. making it because he's acting

1:08:55

like he's so over it. Yeah. like, his

1:08:57

the thing. It's like, listen, y 'all, aliens are

1:08:59

here And like, we all gonna die like 24

1:09:01

five And he's like, y 'all, this shit like

1:09:03

Cody crazy. And she's like, wow like I

1:09:05

don't even got the time to talk about this

1:09:07

shit. Fuck, yeah,

1:09:09

like, listen, I just talked to the

1:09:11

government all I can hear but like

1:09:13

I'm just talking tired. There's a gray

1:09:15

alien giving him fucking He's

1:09:18

like, you don't know. It's like a

1:09:20

Ray J. I You shied these aliens, but

1:09:22

crazy. Gotta I gotta go back to

1:09:24

my office and vomit in the

1:09:26

hallway. ha ha. Be a furry. Don't

1:09:28

worry. I only stole my dog.

1:09:30

ha ha ha. And we're doing the

1:09:32

launching. Whatever. Now. What

1:09:35

you do have to be concerned my

1:09:37

bad my eye, but it's the,

1:09:39

um... The the orbs that's inside the sky that

1:09:41

y 'all see that's going stuff that's

1:09:43

shooting down drones and all that, that's

1:09:45

not a part of us. Them are

1:09:47

actually I hope this is a stolen

1:09:50

valor guy. this is definitely a stolen

1:09:52

valor guy, they're above. I don't think

1:09:54

so. They're below us. It is. Yes,

1:09:56

they do exist. and would get like

1:10:00

Charged immediately it would be hilarious if

1:10:02

this is how we found that alien They

1:10:07

keep them in tubes and shit

1:10:09

and like they talk to me

1:10:11

with their minds Yeah, a Navy

1:10:14

guy with a watermark that says

1:10:16

unspoken will That's how we find

1:10:18

out but Because already

1:10:20

out here so I can speak on this. aliens

1:10:22

are real. and We

1:10:24

will have to evacuate. Sooner

1:10:27

than later. know buy on the show! I?

1:10:30

hope to God that it's that it's a

1:10:32

fake not a real military guy because this

1:10:34

would be devastating if this They'd let him

1:10:36

in if you'd be ever say to find other guys

1:10:38

in the Marines are dumb and shit. How dare

1:10:40

you, no. the track a little bit.

1:10:42

Wait, that would be the worst news

1:10:44

ever if you found a guy's in

1:10:46

the army were like as fuck. Well,

1:10:48

listen, they might not be like Albert

1:10:50

Einstein, but they're at least usually, they

1:10:52

know how to follow orders and they

1:10:54

know what not to say on camera.

1:10:56

This would be like, oh my this

1:10:58

is, they let a completely insane retarded

1:11:00

guy in. This guy won three drooling

1:11:02

hearts. Every drooling hearts would be good.

1:11:04

I of drooling heart that's funny. It's

1:11:06

Every guy I went to high school

1:11:09

with a joining. the army is if not

1:11:11

it dumbered it as dumb if I'm

1:11:13

dumber than this guy yeah, know they're all

1:11:15

like a rope they would know not

1:11:17

to say something like this I would hope

1:11:19

this guy's gonna get fucking thrown out

1:11:21

no I don't feel like I don't feel

1:11:23

like guys like him would it be

1:11:25

anywhere around aliens if there's anything of course

1:11:27

not it'd be it'd be private contractors

1:11:29

have to sign NDA yeah I don't know

1:11:31

why this guy would know this and

1:11:33

like they only come and night They were

1:11:35

only coming weird thing is though, those drones,

1:11:37

the government has said that those, they're Some

1:11:39

of the drones that they've set up there have just like turned

1:11:41

off. Yeah, they'll do that.

1:11:44

I mean, it's not from us. Like, they don't know what

1:11:46

the hell could be doing. One of the latest things

1:11:48

I saw was they had testimony from like an F -35

1:11:50

pilot that was followed by like three orbs And they just,

1:11:52

they totally shut off the plane while he was flying

1:11:54

it. and also there's a really

1:11:56

famous case out of Iran they have,

1:11:58

it's in Arabic, but it's like they,

1:12:00

they intercepted like UFOs above Tehran

1:12:02

they they shut off all the

1:12:04

jets. It's actually really really really the

1:12:06

case. How come they're not That's the case.

1:12:09

How come they're not not off off like 747 like you

1:12:11

know you know domestic flights aren't going

1:12:13

I think they're intelligent No, to

1:12:15

not hurt people to I think they

1:12:17

are the big thing is thing with

1:12:19

our nuclear missiles and shit our think missiles

1:12:21

and shit. I a complete know. It's a complete like it's

1:12:23

like a tweet. We that they're there there.

1:12:26

And who want to to

1:12:28

know who they are

1:12:30

yeah, Yeah. Well, it's trans people.

1:12:32

They're going to make fun

1:12:34

sizes out. Non-gendered skies.

1:12:36

Standing up at open

1:12:39

mics. Mm-hmm. First, the

1:12:41

school systems, the

1:12:43

school systems

1:12:45

airway. Airways. Airways. A

1:12:47

news are real. But

1:12:49

like like shit's real out

1:12:51

here, like I hear, like, aliens

1:12:54

He's like, So that's right. He's like end

1:12:56

like end of story like facts no cap no

1:12:58

cap like like literally like at like eddas like

1:13:00

he says we need to evacuate to

1:13:02

he they wouldn't tell this guy

1:13:04

then we need to evacuate it would

1:13:06

be kept it's a lot going

1:13:08

on within the United States it would

1:13:10

be of. it's a lot of

1:13:13

everything, but within the United

1:13:15

States it's a lot of a out.

1:13:17

of everything but they're real be careful watch

1:13:19

out oh watch out don't know

1:13:21

what to tell you

1:13:24

like oh look bro I don't know, because

1:13:26

right now, we only, it's only like, you need to, like, run for

1:13:28

the don't even fucking know but like

1:13:30

you need to like bro! run fucking... What

1:13:32

are we gonna do? What are here, bro do? It's

1:13:34

not, what do it you fucking to this? are

1:13:36

we nothing to do. There is like to this

1:13:39

there is nothing to You gotta be prepared,

1:13:41

like, I don't know, on this video. now,

1:13:43

we only, be prepared. really calculating

1:13:45

like, don't know like, like, like, now

1:13:47

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

1:13:49

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

1:13:51

like, like, like, like, like, like, good.

1:13:53

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, It's

1:13:55

just devin' devastating, it real?

1:13:58

It's real. For real? It's Devin and

1:14:00

Eddie. I'll

1:14:04

probably go to an island or shit. I don't

1:14:06

live, bro. bro. I don't get a lot to

1:14:08

eat, bro. He goes, we all know aliens scared

1:14:10

of water. They scared of islands. He's like, listen,

1:14:12

all I know is like, I need a fucking

1:14:14

vacation. We need to

1:14:16

hit an island and shit. He's like, I don't

1:14:18

make enough money. Does a go for Is it

1:14:20

a trip to Tahiti for me. I be trying

1:14:23

to convince our general, I gotta go. by vacation

1:14:25

in Rhode Island. He won't, he don't

1:14:27

listening. General? He don't listen. He goes

1:14:29

the office. I got my general every

1:14:31

day. I go, hey general. General

1:14:36

I don't know what you're gonna do. I don't know if

1:14:38

you're gonna survive. But hey, it

1:14:40

is what it is. It's 22 phone, it's

1:14:42

the end times. I don't know

1:14:44

what the fuck I'm gonna do. See ya. We

1:14:46

all, we all gonna - I can't, I

1:14:48

can't say the word. too chill. Interesting.

1:14:52

Well, I hope that's not the

1:14:54

case. Gotta forbid to go to

1:14:56

D -Block. God damn, why don't

1:14:58

stop fear -mongering? jam -all. Yes!

1:15:06

Perfect little bow. Little bow of the app.

1:15:08

Yeah, a little button. You scared, hey,

1:15:10

you scared of people. I'll

1:15:13

be vaguely You're

1:15:15

scary. I'm scary of him

1:15:17

to do. Don't

1:15:20

do that. Hey, if you stop scaring

1:15:22

I'll stop seeing stuff like that. They

1:15:24

say, hey, we got a deal. We

1:15:26

already talked to Tyrone Chow. dare you

1:15:28

if I sit in your car and

1:15:30

all your military gear and be like,

1:15:32

listen, we done aliens. Aliens,

1:15:34

it's I'm gonna be racist to you. I'm

1:15:37

gonna I'm gonna make up. I'm gonna

1:15:39

make up that your name's Jamal in a

1:15:41

harmless fashion Oh, And now even bud.

1:15:43

And we're even pal. He's like, jokes on

1:15:45

you. My name is Jamal. Oh,

1:15:49

man. Well,

1:15:52

Merry Christmas, everybody. Happy

1:15:54

holidays. Merry Christmas,

1:15:56

guys. Remember to say

1:15:58

Merry Christmas. Don't let the

1:16:01

live cock agenda stop you from

1:16:03

you from the one

1:16:05

true holiday true holiday

1:16:07

there is, that Christmas other

1:16:09

religion in Greece. greed Yeah, it

1:16:11

is like Christmas reign supreme we

1:16:13

live in a Christian country first

1:16:15

time is We live in a Christian

1:16:17

country This is a true fact By the way, this

1:16:19

is a true fact and I'm gonna

1:16:22

say this because I'm a Zionist first

1:16:24

time in 20 years that Hanukkah and

1:16:26

Christmas are on the exact same

1:16:28

day day Well really? Hanukkah eight

1:16:30

days. It starts first first time it's It's

1:16:32

starting on the on the same. So

1:16:34

what do they do their

1:16:36

first day of Hanukkah? So what worship

1:16:38

they do their They do day of Hanukkah?

1:16:40

candle. do like they light the one candle. They the

1:16:42

trade a candle. Oh, gives them gold.

1:16:44

and the devil no, no. No, but

1:16:46

then. No, no, no. No, but then... up fire

1:16:48

Dome. iron dome. They fire up the

1:16:50

Dome. That's candle too. Sure. Candle three, they

1:16:52

they kill an entire Palestinian family.

1:16:54

And family. And self -defense. Yeah,

1:16:57

the Yeah, the Iron Dome is just

1:16:59

a huge manora flame. So damn, so they're

1:17:02

so damn, so they're not gonna be,

1:17:04

Christmas, Jews all go get like Christmas, and stuff,

1:17:06

right? They stuff, right? They still

1:17:08

can. gonna going to close. Well,

1:17:10

enjoy your Chinese Chinese We'll

1:17:12

be inside with with. Mifamilia. Yeah, we'll all

1:17:14

be We'll all be enjoying

1:17:16

the nice tree. We'll all have the I'll

1:17:18

have the Do they Do they wrap presents,

1:17:20

Jude? Jews? I mean, mean, one Jewish one

1:17:22

Jewish family I knew growing up did,

1:17:24

they had presents every night, wrap

1:17:26

presents. rat presence. Yeah. It's cool. You get like presents. night.

1:17:29

It's like as night. their mom was

1:17:31

not Jewish. Yeah, it's gotta be

1:17:33

rough though, like fucking, how many

1:17:35

days does it go? also rich as fucking

1:17:37

days you walk into the living

1:17:39

room and Jewish. Yeah, like, it's Jewish. the dad's

1:17:41

got the Alex Edelman special on. on. Eight

1:17:43

straight fucking nights of nights of that eight days in

1:17:45

a row days in a row that

1:17:47

you're Jewish. Oh my gosh. Eight Oh days in a row

1:17:49

Eight days a row you have

1:17:51

to remember you're Jewish. I don't know. I really am I

1:17:53

really am not, I don't like

1:17:55

you I hate them. I don't do them I don't do

1:17:57

them Almost much as I hate you. I I'm not a

1:17:59

- I don't, they're not not on my mind think all.

1:18:01

I don't think all. But Christmas all. know is the best. It's

1:18:03

the best, I just know is the best. make any

1:18:06

fun. Jews run the best. yet they still best. don't

1:18:08

make any fucking run Hollywood and yet still It

1:18:10

made a great fine. Crazy night. movie. The Jews run had

1:18:12

that one. they still haven't made a great fucking I love that

1:18:14

movie. It's not that one. Tamler had on, that's good.

1:18:16

had love that movie. Yeah had that one. Tamper had that one.

1:18:18

but had that one. put that on and they

1:18:20

go, there's some Christmas lights in the back. one.

1:18:22

Tamper had that one. Tamper had that one. Tamper It's still about

1:18:24

Christmas. had like a Tamper had that in that movie. fine.

1:18:26

It's lives fine. trailer It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. But

1:18:28

yeah, there's no no it's Christmas. It's sick of

1:18:30

the, we need to bring that back. the not

1:18:33

ending Christmas. that back. We're on Christmas is over.

1:18:35

War on Christmas is over. is

1:18:37

over. We're on I'm is over We

1:18:39

fucking one. I'm more wrong. I like a

1:18:41

disagree they agree to I

1:18:43

heard eight crazy bangs. I heard Kwanza is

1:18:45

I heard Kwanza's fake. It is. Yeah, I

1:18:47

I don't think think anyone

1:18:49

that's in the 70s. Who invented it, Jesse?

1:18:51

No one left. Fen I thought

1:18:53

it used to be

1:18:56

cool to say happy

1:18:58

Why is Kwanza fake? I think

1:19:00

thought it used to be cool to say. It sounds like

1:19:02

a nation of Islam thing, with like, we

1:19:04

will not celebrate you. So in Africa, a

1:19:06

they do nothing on December 25th? Yeah, they

1:19:08

starve. to say. It sounds like a nation of Islam

1:19:10

to make it so

1:19:12

dark. we're doing a doing a

1:19:15

comedy podcast. here. No, it funny. That was good.

1:19:17

These guys turned on John. we're doing comedy Otters

1:19:19

don't get don't get dark humor. And John, that that

1:19:21

was the best joke heard ever heard

1:19:23

of do Africans do? They're Christian. They celebrate do? They're

1:19:25

Christian. They celebrate God for right? Have you seen

1:19:27

the video? to Nigeria. the video? Oh, this is a great

1:19:29

for Jesus. If they Have you seen that,

1:19:32

we'd fucking, we'd them. you seen the video? We'd

1:19:34

treat a them, we'd treat them, we'd treat them, they

1:19:36

did into that, we'd we'd, we'd, treat them

1:19:38

badly. Look up, Nigerian guy we'd, we'd, we'd,

1:19:40

Jesus we'd, the Vatican. like, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, like,

1:19:42

like I I didn't get that. God, She

1:19:45

was like, look up what? There's a video of a Nigerian, like these Nation

1:19:47

a video of a guys these the Islam guys

1:19:49

going into the Vatican to a they go up

1:19:51

to a Nigerian guy praying And they're like

1:19:53

that's not what Jesus what like he was

1:19:55

black and the Nigerian guy freaks out on

1:19:57

where guy freaks up? him. Where is it called? Look

1:19:59

up, uh, black. Jesus. Nice to

1:20:02

have you. Let's see

1:20:04

if I could do see

1:20:06

if I can do this.

1:20:08

whoa, dude. That's that's nuts.

1:20:11

All right. God. We Oh

1:20:13

my gonna find that.

1:20:15

gonna find it. I I bet you I

1:20:18

will I will. you screwed

1:20:20

the pooch screwed the pooch. You

1:20:22

fuck me. He fucked the whole show. You fucked

1:20:24

me for the last time, start over

1:20:26

right at the fucking We

1:20:28

got got it. I got

1:20:30

it. I got it.

1:20:33

I end. it Hold on. I got it.

1:20:35

I got it. on hold on

1:20:37

think you did it. Hold on. Don't know

1:20:39

what you're asking. Hold on. Hold

1:20:41

on. And in the middle of

1:20:43

this. All I almost bless

1:20:45

all. All right.