Don: Hotspots are areas of friction in your marriage. They start off in a relationship but are not critical. They don't necessarily cause a huge fight. We don't have to stop and tend to them immediately. They're just areas of friction that are happening. Kinda like if you're hiking, and you begin to feel friction in your boot. If you're with an experienced guide, they'll often ask you to let them know about any friction you feel because if you continue to hike with the friction, it will turn into a blister that can cause infection. 

Friction causes hotspots. We have to stop the blister before it reaches the later stages of damage, infection, and toxicity. We must recognize when we start to feel the heat and friction and not accommodate or tolerate it, but stop and address the hotspot. 

Renee: Hotspots inside of marriage relationships start out as a small thing and grow. They can feel like we're circling the drain - we keep having the same issue over and over. When it's a place of friction, it can become a sore. 

You have to ask...

What is going on with both of us? 

What's happening inside of our marriage relationship? 

This is a time we need to stop and address the soreness. Maybe that's counseling. Maybe we need someone else's insight as to what is happening inside of our relationship. If you wait until it's hurting and there are bacteria, you risk infection. 

So we would say, as something starts to cause friction inside of your relationship, what can you do? Can you ask God for clarity? What hotspots are inside of your marriage relationship?