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2:31

is Help Wanted, the show

2:33

that makes your work work

2:35

for you. I'm Jason Fyfer,

2:37

editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur magazine, and I'm

2:39

money expert Nicole Lappin. On Tuesdays,

2:41

Jason and I answer the Help

2:44

Line, and Health Collars solve their

2:46

work problems. And on Thursdays, I

2:48

give you one way to improve your

2:50

work and build a career or company

2:52

you love. And it starts? No. Nicole,

2:55

you're back! Let's talk about some shit!

2:57

Could you just start the episode like

3:00

that? I guess we should. Why don't

3:02

we start it like that? All right,

3:04

well then I'll explain what's going on.

3:07

What's going on is that Nicole,

3:09

after a long absence, some of

3:11

it planned, some of it severely

3:13

not planned, you are back. Back. It's

3:15

great to have you back. Back,

3:18

baby. Thank you. It's great. It's

3:20

just, it's great to see you. For

3:22

for those who don't know. You had

3:24

a baby. That was great. Yes.

3:26

Having a baby is great.

3:28

Humans are great. Very rich.

3:30

Right. In contrast to the other

3:33

thing that happened, which was that

3:35

you lost your house and the

3:37

fire, that was not great. Not

3:39

great. It was like birth, death,

3:41

the cycle of life. It was

3:44

like all homes go to heaven.

3:46

And it was such a character

3:48

and such an important

3:50

everything in my life. So yeah, a

3:52

lot of highs and a lot of lows.

3:54

Yeah. Well. I am not going to ask

3:57

you to rip your heart open and

3:59

just share. all of that right

4:01

now. Although we did we did

4:03

play and if some if anyone

4:05

missed it it ran I don't

4:07

know a couple weeks ago we

4:09

played the first time you returned

4:11

on your daily show Money Rehab

4:13

where you you shared some of

4:16

that experience in a very raw

4:18

and emotional way it was very

4:20

powerful I was just I was

4:22

impressed that you got words out

4:24

at all talking about this like

4:26

I just don't know I often

4:28

actually think when I'm just like

4:30

at home right now just thinking

4:33

like what would I be what

4:35

would I do if all of

4:37

this went away. I don't even

4:39

know where to begin. I mean,

4:41

you didn't either, but now you're

4:43

living it. So the answer is

4:45

you just have to just wake

4:47

up the next morning, you got

4:50

to keep living, keep going. There

4:52

are a lot of days that

4:54

I did not want to do

4:56

that for sure. It was just,

4:58

I mean, it still is, like,

5:00

it's been three months, and so

5:02

much of it feels like. we

5:04

haven't even accomplished or scratched the

5:07

surface of what needs to get

5:09

done in rebuilding and putting back

5:11

our lives and just a logistical

5:13

shitstorm like logistical hell and what's

5:15

one thing I took away from

5:17

the experience so far and of

5:19

course I'm going to need more

5:21

time and perspective to pull out

5:24

those life lessons or like why

5:26

did this happen there has to

5:28

be some reason like I'm looking

5:30

for that because I haven't found

5:32

it yet but figuring out how

5:34

to ask for help very appropriate

5:36

help wanted yeah was really hard

5:38

and tasking people I just remember

5:41

the amount of people who reached

5:43

out I'm I'm so grateful and

5:45

so fortunate and people asked to

5:47

help and my instinct normally is

5:49

like no no I'm good I

5:51

got it like I don't I

5:53

don't mean I don't yeah and

5:55

I tried in the fog of

5:58

so much chaos to take people

6:00

up on those offers And, you

6:02

know, I like to be on

6:04

the other side of this equation.

6:06

Like, I like to be of

6:08

help and of service. And so,

6:10

oftentimes you'll say, how can it

6:12

be helpful? You said that. And,

6:15

you know, rarely people write back

6:17

and say, okay, here's what you

6:19

can do. Like, here's exactly what

6:21

I need. But I tried to

6:23

do that. I tried to task

6:25

people because they did want help.

6:27

There was... And especially people in

6:29

LA, there was like this weird

6:32

Survivor's guilt thing happening. And it

6:34

was really interesting, like a few

6:36

not so close friends or acquaintances

6:38

who stepped up and became MVP

6:40

of this whole recovery thing. One

6:42

of your friends actually. Yeah, Jess.

6:44

Jess, who was on the show.

6:46

Jess, Chermek, shout out. Wow, she

6:49

stepped up. Who was like running

6:51

point for you on all sorts

6:53

of crazy projects. So many crazy

6:55

projects. It was it was incredible.

6:57

I was just like blown away

6:59

by her and then another acquaintance

7:01

who was in LA, but wasn't

7:03

affected by the fires. And I

7:06

was just like, I don't think

7:08

I can ask for another thing.

7:10

Like you guys have done so

7:12

so much. Thank you. Thank you.

7:14

And she's like, don't deny me

7:16

the opportunity to help. I really

7:18

want to help. And when she

7:20

said it that way, I was

7:23

like, okay. Like, maybe if I

7:25

reframe this, and it really is

7:27

bringing her joy, I'd like to

7:29

bring people joy. That's cool. You

7:31

know, that reminds me of a

7:33

small revelation that I experienced, obviously

7:35

a very different situation with very

7:37

different needs, but when my book

7:40

came out a couple years ago,

7:42

I did this thing that I

7:44

find deeply uncomfortable, which you just

7:46

talked about for yourself, which is

7:48

asking for help. I hate asking

7:50

for help. I love helping. But

7:52

I committed to myself. I said

7:54

to launch a book is to

7:57

ask everyone for a favor. This

7:59

will be the time that I

8:01

do it. even though it will

8:03

make me very uncomfortable. And so

8:05

I reached out to everybody, yourself

8:07

included, and I was just like,

8:09

can you help? And sometimes I

8:11

had a specific ask and sometimes

8:14

I was just like, can you

8:16

do something? And I heard from

8:18

a bunch of people, this very

8:20

interesting thing. They all said some

8:22

version of the same thing, which

8:24

was, you have helped me in

8:26

other times and I am. very

8:28

glad and relieved to finally be

8:30

able to return the favor. Like

8:32

you had given no previous opportunity

8:34

for me to return the favor.

8:36

And I realized that there's this

8:38

interesting social contract that we have,

8:40

which is that part of the

8:42

way in which we are bound

8:44

together, binded together as people, as

8:46

a community, even a loose definition

8:48

of a community, is some kind

8:50

of reciprocity of you help me,

8:52

I help you, and then there's

8:54

this exchange that goes back and

8:56

forth, right? And then you help

8:58

me, and then I help you,

9:00

and then because I helped you,

9:02

you help me, and then because

9:04

you help me, I help you.

9:06

And we go back and forth.

9:08

And if that isn't allowed to

9:10

go back and forth, then actually

9:12

the help starts to feel like

9:14

a burden, right? kept helping me

9:16

and I could never do anything

9:18

for you that at some point

9:20

I would just I'd feel very

9:22

guilty and I'd feel kind of

9:24

awkward around you. You know, I

9:26

wouldn't know what to do. I

9:28

need... to be able to give

9:30

back because that's how this works,

9:32

like it's supposed to be back

9:34

and forth. And yet when we're

9:36

the ones who are like in

9:38

a position to ask for help

9:40

and we're uncomfortable doing that, we're

9:42

doing it because we're uncomfortable and

9:44

we don't want to burden people

9:46

and we think that we're a

9:48

burden. But it was very interesting

9:50

to me and eye-opening to me

9:52

to hear people tell me that

9:54

that instinct that I have to

9:56

not asked for help was actually

9:58

manifesting as... creating the burden that

10:00

I was actually hoping You are

10:02

hearing a version of that from

10:04

people who said, can you please

10:06

let me do this? Yes. And

10:08

what you brought up was something

10:10

that I remember from like the

10:13

science of relationships that I looked

10:15

at for one of my books,

10:17

where you have to have, we

10:19

might have talked about this on

10:21

the show already, but I'm in

10:23

full postpart of mom brain too.

10:25

Don't worry. I forgot everything we

10:27

talked about on the show. I

10:29

have no idea. So the three

10:31

things that make for lasting relationships,

10:33

you have to have two of

10:35

the three. One is shared values.

10:37

Two is history. And three is

10:39

equality. So as an example, you

10:41

know, I grew up with you.

10:43

That's history. You know, I love

10:45

playing. pickleball with you. That's like

10:47

shared values. And I don't need

10:49

to be like reciprocal. Then we're

10:51

good because we have this history.

10:53

Just to be clear, this is

10:55

not biographical. You and I have

10:57

never played pickleball. And I probably

10:59

will never play pickleball. No. So

11:01

yeah, in theory, you like have

11:03

people that you grew up with

11:05

that you stay friends with, even

11:07

though they kind of suck. or

11:09

you don't really have much in

11:11

common with them, but you grew

11:13

up with them. You know, other

11:15

people who you don't have history

11:17

with or aren't your family members

11:19

and things like that, you know,

11:21

have to have shared values and

11:23

equality. So it's not like a

11:25

transactional, I do this thing for

11:27

you, you do this thing for

11:29

me, it's like, just, are you

11:31

there for me, or is this

11:33

a one-sided relationship? And so that

11:35

manifests in a lot of different

11:37

ways, whether it's help or, you

11:39

know, emotional support or whatever it

11:41

is. And so we've all been

11:43

in relationships that feel lopsided. And

11:45

so, anyway, that's the science of

11:47

relationship. That also reminds me of

11:49

this wacky, as you know, I

11:51

love wacky research and I once

11:53

spent a while researching the history

11:55

of birthday parties. And it's so

11:57

fascinating. So birthday parties are a

11:59

relatively new thing. I don't remember

12:01

exactly, but I think it was

12:03

kind of like early to mid

12:05

1800s is when they started to

12:07

become common. And before that, they

12:10

were deeply disapproved of. And one

12:12

of the main arguments against birthday

12:14

parties from, you know, sort of

12:16

culture makers of the day was

12:18

that birthday parties would create a

12:20

kind of selfishness in children that

12:22

you don't want children to feel

12:24

like they are so important that

12:26

people can. will gather just because

12:28

they had a birthday and give

12:30

them presents. And there would be

12:32

a kind of fraying of the

12:34

social fabric if we teach everyone

12:36

to be these like self-obsessed egotistical

12:38

people. But then birthday parties started

12:40

to happen and in fact the

12:42

opposite of what was feared took

12:44

place, which is that the birthday

12:46

party became this social reciprocity vehicle

12:48

where because... you invited me to

12:50

your birthday party, I've got to

12:52

invite you to my birthday party.

12:54

And I see this happen with

12:56

my little kids, like they're constantly

12:58

being invited to these birthday parties,

13:00

which means that they've got to

13:02

invite those same kids to their

13:04

birthday parties. And it becomes this

13:06

nice little weave that keeps getting

13:08

tightened because there's a reason to

13:10

keep going around and celebrate each

13:12

other and then to include each

13:14

other in our own celebrations. And

13:16

so birthday parties. strengthened communities rather

13:18

than afraid them, which is a

13:20

version of the thing that you're

13:22

talking about. So, and I also

13:24

had a birthday in the middle

13:26

of all. Oh, and you also

13:28

had a birthday. That's right. That's

13:30

right. I texted you and I

13:32

was like, I hope that you

13:34

can find some moment of. in

13:36

your birthday, did you? Yeah, it

13:38

was, you know, it was really

13:40

sweet to have my daughter, you

13:42

know, participate in a little way.

13:44

My husband got her a little

13:46

onesie that said like happy birthday

13:48

mommy, so I woke up and

13:50

that was cute. That was sweet.

13:52

Yeah, it was, it was really,

13:54

you know, it's just been a

13:56

complete surreal months. And I still

13:58

don't have a password. I still

14:00

don't have a place to live.

14:02

We're still trying to find a

14:04

place. I still don't have a

14:06

car. You know, the amount of

14:09

like bureaucracy. I think I texted

14:11

you about this last night because

14:13

you were so kind to help

14:15

me with one of the crazy

14:17

bureaucracies that I had. Yeah. Which

14:19

was the DMB. Which is the

14:21

worst, the worst place in the

14:23

world. Yeah, I mean to be

14:25

clear let's not let's not let's

14:27

not overhipe my heroism I did

14:29

not actually go to the DMV

14:31

for you but I did get

14:33

in touch with the head of

14:35

corporate the big big whoever is

14:37

at the DMV and they responded

14:39

which was very good but not

14:41

nicely yeah which is which is

14:43

more than you usually get from

14:45

the DMV let me ask you

14:47

though I so this is I

14:49

was genuinely curious about this and

14:51

we have not actually talked about

14:53

it which was so when I've

14:55

heard this from people who have

14:57

like like experienced a death, which

14:59

is that a lot of people

15:01

do not know how to treat

15:03

them after that moment. Right. So

15:05

I was I remember I was

15:07

talking to like a friend of

15:09

my parents lost his wife and

15:11

he was he was telling me

15:13

that one of the most challenging

15:15

things about the experience was that

15:17

a lot of his friends kind

15:19

of disappeared. And he doesn't think

15:21

that's because they don't like him,

15:23

it's because they don't know what

15:25

to do because tragedy makes us

15:27

uncomfortable and we don't know what

15:29

to say and we don't know

15:31

what to offer and And so,

15:33

you know, we, we, we do

15:35

a lot of, we end up

15:37

doing this shameful thing, which is

15:39

that we just sort of do

15:41

nothing. And I was wondering what

15:43

your experience of that was like,

15:45

because certainly I, like, when that

15:47

happened to you, I remember standing

15:49

here just thinking like, what? Am

15:51

I supposed, what am I supposed

15:53

to do, this isn't about me,

15:55

but like what am I supposed

15:57

to do, right? Like how do

15:59

I help, but also what is,

16:01

what should I say? Is there

16:03

anything to say? Could you possibly

16:06

have words for this? What should

16:08

I do? I mean, like I

16:10

really, like I spend time debating,

16:12

like I even, I was like,

16:14

one of the things that you

16:16

did to ask for help, which

16:18

I'm very glad you did, is

16:20

you put together this very long

16:22

Amazon list, which just, which just

16:24

had like all the basics, like

16:26

all the basics of like all

16:28

the basics of like all the

16:30

basics of the basics of the

16:32

basics of child rearing of child

16:34

rearing of child rearing, like, like,

16:36

like, like, like, like, like, like,

16:38

like, like, like, like, like, like,

16:40

like, like, like, like, like, like,

16:42

like, like, like, like, like, like,

16:44

like, like, like, like, like, like,

16:46

like, What is the right dollar

16:48

amount for this? I don't know

16:50

the answer. So I, I, what,

16:52

what did you, you're welcome. I'm

16:54

not even, not asking for anything,

16:56

but like I, I'm curious from

16:58

your perspective, what did you experience

17:00

as the person for whom there

17:02

was a tragic event? Did you

17:04

see this play out? Did you

17:06

see some people like just kind

17:08

of not know what to do?

17:10

And then did you know how

17:12

to react to that? Well, I

17:14

think early on. I put together

17:16

sort of an Amazon thing because

17:18

it was an easy way to

17:20

send people something that they could

17:22

do. And like you really wanted

17:24

to do something. And so responding

17:26

to everybody felt like I was

17:28

managing a whole other thing. And

17:30

we just had so much to

17:32

manage. I had people come out

17:34

of the woodwork, like really, really

17:36

interesting people. We can believe this

17:38

out. Stick around Help

17:40

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18:47

Wanted. Let's get to it. I had

18:50

people come out of the woodwork like

18:52

really really interesting people. We can believe

18:54

this out. Like I had what's his

18:57

face from... I thought he hated me.

18:59

From what he reached out. Also that's

19:01

also really nice. Hated me. I mean,

19:04

if we're if we're believing these names

19:06

that we'll just say like these are

19:08

these are sort of people from the

19:11

past that you and I have engaged

19:13

with in some kind of like businessy

19:15

things that seem to be in the

19:18

distant past. Like I haven't thought about

19:20

them in a while. Like, you know,

19:22

a quasi contentious business. Yeah. So didn't

19:24

think I would be. top of mind

19:27

for them to reach out to. And

19:29

so that was that was really interesting.

19:31

You know, like what did you say?

19:34

Should we just read what your initial

19:36

message was? Oh, sure. I'm sure it

19:38

was not very good. I mean, I'm

19:41

sure it was good. It's not it's

19:43

not about good. So I had a

19:45

few friends who You know, I don't

19:48

even know how to say this because

19:50

it's gonna come off as like super

19:52

ungrateful. But I really tried to get

19:55

better at being clear with what I

19:57

needed like super clear. You know, somebody

19:59

was like, can I bring over, you

20:01

know, something? I was like, how about

20:04

this in size, you know, this or,

20:06

you know, whatever? And like, not other

20:08

things because I was overwhelmed by. Which

20:11

is again from such a good place.

20:13

I was just overwhelmed by donations of

20:15

like people's used Baby stuff and a

20:18

lot of it a lot of it

20:20

wasn't you know it was it was

20:22

gross and I didn't know and then

20:25

you know needing to either throw it

20:27

out or donate it or something like

20:29

it became. a burden. And I don't

20:32

even know how to say this without

20:34

coming across as... No, no, no. I

20:36

mean, let me, let me free you

20:38

of that concern. I, what, I mean,

20:41

first of all, what you're describing is

20:43

what happens in, after every, like, tragedy

20:45

of a large scale, right? Like, there's

20:48

always these stories that, you know, a

20:50

hurricane, like, rips through Puerto Rico, and

20:52

then instead of getting the things that

20:55

Puerto Rico needs, they just get, like

20:57

a bunch of random crap that people

20:59

donated, don't actually help this. It's like,

21:02

thank you. Like, it was all coming

21:04

from a good place, but like, it's

21:06

not actually the thing we need right

21:09

now. And that happens over and over

21:11

again. So no, like, you're dealing with,

21:13

you're dealing with like this monumental, terrible

21:15

thing. And people are giving you nice,

21:18

like, it's a nice gesture, but that

21:20

doesn't mean that it's useful. And it's

21:22

okay to, this is real life, you

21:25

know. So you're grateful for the, you're

21:27

grateful for the gesture. but you don't

21:29

actually need the thing totally I was

21:32

also you know two weeks postpartum it

21:34

was not a lot a lot Like

21:36

I wasn't fitting into my tiny friends

21:39

jeans and that made me like old

21:41

thing and so I feel like you

21:43

know that was like an unexpected thing

21:45

for me to try to say no

21:48

thank you for this thing that comes

21:50

from a really really nice place. And

21:52

then I tried to just be like,

21:55

you know, it would be more helpful.

21:57

Logistical things was just the most helpful.

21:59

So what you helped me do with

22:02

the DMV with this crazy UPS store

22:04

that Jessica was involved with, like, oh

22:06

my God. And you know calling and

22:09

SBA and FEMA and holy like all

22:11

the alphabet soup of stuff or you

22:13

know getting new credit cards every day

22:16

it was something that I remember that

22:18

I didn't have and so that was

22:20

just the most helpful to try to

22:22

like lessen this this load you wrote

22:25

on j-in-your-aid... I didn't know if we

22:27

were going to get to my text.

22:29

We have so many, yeah, so many.

22:32

And so you wrote... at 1 4

22:34

3, which is I love you. That's

22:36

so cute. Just realize you guys are

22:39

probably really close to the fires. How

22:41

are you doing? Yeah, I didn't know.

22:43

Yeah, crap. You didn't know a few

22:46

hours later. I wrote, I know, like

22:48

these couple days, I tried to even

22:50

get back to, you know, people, I

22:53

had no, you know, like I'm not

22:55

writing complete sentences. So I just wrote

22:57

lost house. Yeah, I remember that. I

22:59

got that I was, you said that

23:02

I was. fan, my nine-year-old was in

23:04

the shower. And I was just, you

23:06

know, when he's in the shower, I'm

23:09

basically just like standing by in case

23:11

something goes wrong. And I got that

23:13

text and I thought, holy fuck. And

23:16

then I didn't, I just, I just,

23:18

you just jumped in the shower. I

23:20

just, I just, you just jumped in

23:23

the shower. I just turned it to

23:25

the shower. I just turned it to

23:27

cold. I just, I just didn't, I

23:30

just, I just, I just, I just,

23:32

I just, I just, I just, I

23:34

just, I just know what to know

23:36

what to, I just, I just, I

23:39

just, I just, I just know what

23:41

to know what to, I just, I

23:43

just, I just, I just, I just,

23:46

I just, I just, I just, I

23:48

just, I just, I just, I just,

23:50

I just, I just, I just, I

23:53

just, I just, I just, I just,

23:55

I just, I just I can't remember

23:57

what I said. but you'll tell me

24:00

because you've got it in front. My

24:02

instinct was to like say something. There

24:04

are no good words. I can't like,

24:07

I'm not gonna like give you like

24:09

a lecture on resilience or some bullshit.

24:11

But then also primarily, this is my

24:13

instinct, I don't know if it was

24:16

the right one, I primarily was my

24:18

instinct, I don't know if it was

24:20

the right one, I primarily was like,

24:23

now I like, I wanted to show

24:25

you that I care and also leave

24:27

you, but like. That'll be that. That

24:30

was my instinct. I just didn't know.

24:32

Thank you. Yes, you wrote, holy shit.

24:34

There you go. That's your reaction right

24:37

now. That's appropriate. Yeah. Yeah, you said,

24:39

I'm not sure. No, he said, I'm

24:41

not sure. No, he said, I'm sure.

24:44

No, he said, I'm sure. I'm sure.

24:46

No, he said, I'm sure. I'm sure

24:48

you said, I'm sure you have a

24:50

lot to do. And if there's anything.

24:53

Yeah, yeah, that was that was really

24:55

nice. Yeah, and then I think I

24:57

I finally was like, hey, you know,

25:00

do you have contacts at here or

25:02

there or whatever? Yeah, like on it.

25:04

I'm on it. And so I love

25:07

that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, you

25:09

know, look, just to bring it back

25:11

full circle there, I guess with that

25:14

like that was. It's a strange thing.

25:16

I suppose. To have something terrible happen

25:18

to you and then to have the

25:21

if you wanted to think about it

25:23

like this, the like responsibility and now

25:25

obligation to tell people what to do,

25:27

right? I mean, it was like, I

25:30

want to help, but I don't know

25:32

how to help. So the only way

25:34

that I'm going to know is like,

25:37

Nicole, if you spend a minute like

25:39

telling me what to do, which is

25:41

like a thing that you have to

25:44

do, right? And that's annoying, but I,

25:46

was really grateful to have a hyper

25:48

specific thing to do. I was like,

25:51

whatever, right? I mean, I remember. you

25:53

were even you even you even couched

25:55

it or remember you were like there's

25:58

things for me to do but like

26:00

you don't have time for that and

26:02

I think I remember replying you don't

26:04

have time for your house to burn

26:07

down so like tell me the things

26:09

that you need so like I think

26:11

appropriately on a show called Help Wanted

26:14

it's the lesson here is not just

26:16

ask for help, but like ask for

26:18

help in a like really specific way,

26:21

right? It's like, what do you need?

26:23

Because if not, what will happen is

26:25

either people will not know what to

26:28

do, or they'll just try to help

26:30

however they can, which might not be

26:32

helpful. It might be the opposite of

26:35

helpful. And so the level of specificity

26:37

that you gave was really useful. And

26:39

I hope that at scale, as you

26:41

did that with other people, like at

26:44

least started getting you the earliest things

26:46

that you needed that you needed. It

26:48

was weird. I still have a lot

26:51

of people that I need to, you

26:53

know, follow up with and think and

26:55

the rest of it. Like, we didn't

26:58

believe this out to you, but reached

27:00

out on social media and was like,

27:02

how to help? And I was like,

27:05

you know what? I'm going to, like,

27:07

take him up on that. And because

27:09

we did an episode about... this whole

27:11

thought process for creating a brand new

27:14

studio that was in walking distance in

27:16

my sweet little town that was so

27:18

glorious and that how I would you

27:21

know set my life up postpart of

27:23

and you know that was in the

27:25

town too and so I I messaged

27:28

and I was like hey can I

27:30

use your studio and so I was

27:32

just like hey you know I wanted

27:35

to take you up on it like

27:37

because actually I wanted to do his

27:39

show for the launch which I guess

27:42

I didn't do because I asked him

27:44

for his studio. But I was like,

27:46

you know what, I don't know if

27:48

this is an empty promise or not,

27:51

but there were a few people where

27:53

I had taken them up on their

27:55

offer and didn't hear back or I

27:58

was like, but you said, like, anywhere

28:00

I could help. And so there were

28:02

some that were like kind of stung

28:05

a little bit. You know, that wasn't

28:07

necessarily one of them. We couldn't use

28:09

this. studio because whatever he uses it

28:12

for an office or something. And so,

28:14

you know, but there were a few

28:16

people where I was like, hey, here's

28:19

what you could do and they didn't

28:21

do it. So that was the only

28:23

thing that kind of bumped me out.

28:25

Yeah, you know, usually I want to

28:28

find some like nice positive spin on

28:30

things, but like, well, like it's that

28:32

just kind of, that just kind of

28:35

sucks. But oh, here's the positive spin.

28:37

Positive spin is that. a lot of

28:39

people did help. I'm so blown away

28:42

by how many people have just shown

28:44

up from you and Morgan and our

28:46

you know little team that could to

28:49

you know acquaintances and I thought frenemies

28:51

and you know everybody in between I

28:53

did I did think that I might

28:56

need to send thank you cards but

28:58

I don't think so. No. This is

29:00

thank you. You don't send thank you

29:02

cards for like emergency. No, you do

29:05

not. You do not. And this is

29:07

thank you for introducing that because this

29:09

is then is now a nice place

29:12

to end this episode, which is boy,

29:14

do I want to lift that burden

29:16

from you? No, nobody needs it. Nobody

29:19

expects it. Are you sure? Can I

29:21

just send them this episode? Like, thank

29:23

you so much. That's a nice idea.

29:26

Send them this episode. That's enough. I

29:28

would feel bad. if you wrote me

29:30

a thank you card. Because here's the

29:33

thing, like this was not, you had

29:35

a wedding and I gave you a

29:37

gift and this was like some terrible

29:39

shit happen. And the thing that we're

29:42

supposed to do is rally and help.

29:44

That, the thing that I wanted to

29:46

happen as a result of me helping

29:49

out was just that like your life

29:51

was a little bit easier. That's it,

29:53

right? Like I don't need a thank

29:56

you for that. That's not what this

29:58

is. I think there will be time

30:00

I think for you to talk to

30:03

everybody like in due time and and

30:05

foster those relationships in like real ways.

30:07

But like, if you sent me a

30:10

thank you note, I would think about

30:12

all the thank you notes that you

30:14

were writing and all the time that

30:16

you had to spend on that. And

30:19

I would say that is another damn

30:21

burden. And like, so I wanna do

30:23

not send me a thank you note,

30:26

Nicole, don't send anybody a thank you

30:28

note, a text if you want, whatever,

30:30

easy. I think people are just happy

30:33

to help. I think that you giving

30:35

them the way to help. was in

30:37

some way the thank you that people

30:40

needed. That's my gut. And sadly, the

30:42

wedding gift that you did give me

30:44

also burned. You gave us a really

30:47

nice gift certificate to dinner. Yeah. Like,

30:49

oh, we have to save this. Here's

30:51

my lesson. We have to save this

30:53

for like a special night or something

30:56

like that. Use the gift certificate. Oh,

30:58

yeah. Drink all the dom that you

31:00

have because all that shitburn. Like, use

31:03

your good stuff. That's all. Like, I

31:05

had so many dresses and gowns and

31:07

stuff that I was like, oh, gotta,

31:10

like, save this for a great occasion

31:12

or, you know, just use it. Just

31:14

use it. Use it now. Help Wanted

31:17

is a production of Money News Network.

31:19

Help Wanted is hosted by me, Jason

31:21

Fyfer. And me, Nicole Lappin. Our executive

31:24

producer is Morgan LaVoy. Do you want

31:26

some help? Email our helpline at HelpWanted

31:28

at bunnynewsnetwork.com for the chance to have

31:30

some of your questions answered on the

31:33

show. And follow up on Instagram at

31:35

Money News and Tiktak at Money News

31:37

Network for exclusive content and to see

31:40

our beautiful faces. Maybe a little dance.

31:42

Oh, I didn't sign up for that.

31:44

All right, well, talk to you soon.