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edition Smartbed. Thank

1:23

you so much for coming

1:25

to the Hey Riddle

1:27

Riddle Museum. Are you a school

1:29

group? Are you on vacation?

1:31

What brought you in here

1:34

today? No, we're just dressed

1:36

in school girl outfits, but

1:38

we are not affiliated

1:41

with... Great question. Ah,

1:43

perverts. Oh, we get a lot

1:45

of those in here. Hmm, Ashante.

1:47

Well, thank you so much for

1:50

coming in. A tour is about

1:52

to start if you want to

1:54

join in, but to run a tour.

1:56

Are you the, uh, docent? What is

1:58

a docent? It's not quite

2:00

a dog. It's not quite Al Pacino somewhere.

2:02

Oh, it's a doxin, like a dog

2:05

with little legs? Well, let him guess. Even

2:07

though he's the one that mentioned it,

2:09

let him guess. Oh, it's sort of a

2:11

guide for the museum, like a person

2:13

who kind of shows you around, but I

2:15

didn't wanna docent explain to the docent

2:17

if you're the docent. Ah,

2:20

I am the docent then. I'm

2:22

about to give a tour then

2:24

I must be a docent. docent

2:26

now. Where is that from? Captain

2:28

docent. Castaway. Yes. So

2:31

to your left is the, sorry. Everything

2:33

you know in the next little left.

2:35

Is a framed version. You're kissing your

2:37

tits and blowing kisses my way or

2:39

whatever the song says. Or whatever the

2:42

song says. Oh, I'm sorry, did you

2:44

go on the, I don't wanna learn

2:46

anything tour. Oh, was that an option?

2:48

Sorry. Yeah, we had a lot of

2:50

that around here and I heard a

2:52

rubble. Yeah, I feel like I'll always

2:54

take that option if it's available. Oh,

2:57

okay, that's fine. It's like a kosher

2:59

meal. I don't need it, but I

3:01

want it. Does Christine Aguilera say, you're

3:03

kissing your tits and blowing kisses my

3:05

way? Are those the lurks? That can't

3:07

be right. We here at Haver Role.

3:09

Can you look it up in your

3:12

pocket or do you have like a

3:14

guidebook or something for the I can't

3:16

here. If you could look that up.

3:18

We actually are banned from Googling right

3:20

now here at the museum. Well, I

3:22

was gonna start with the beginning, the

3:25

sort of framed email of our first

3:29

do, a docent, a female docent.

3:31

The start at the very

3:33

beginning. Interesting. very good place to

3:35

start. Oh, you really turned

3:37

around this whole not knowing what

3:40

a docent is. You know,

3:42

okay. I'm just gonna shut this

3:44

whole museum down, takes down

3:46

the email of our first scheduling

3:48

of the first episode, takes

3:50

Janet out of her box, slips

3:52

her free. No! All right,

3:54

you know, it's fine. When she

3:56

was raised in captivity. I

3:59

would have pulled the cord on

4:01

the Janet. It's fine. Let's just do

4:03

an episode of Hey Rattle Riddle, let's not dwell on the

4:05

past of this show and how it started in 2018 when

4:07

I was 25 years old and I had- Is this a

4:09

special episode? What do we- It never is

4:11

a special episode. Well, it never is

4:13

a special episode. Well, you're just

4:16

like, you're reminiscing about the past.

4:18

I'm not. Let's throw the whole museum

4:20

away. But you wanted to. I mean, I

4:22

just thought it would be interesting to talk

4:24

about how this show started to talk about

4:26

how this show started when I was a

4:29

young gun. I guess that's not interesting to

4:31

talk about how I was young once with

4:33

my whole life ahead of me. You sort

4:35

of looked wistfully up and to the left.

4:38

I thought you're gonna take us down memory

4:40

lane, but then you kind of started

4:42

your eyes right back to us and

4:44

we didn't know what to say. Aaron,

4:46

if you, if you. Add 50 years

4:48

to your age. You are going to

4:50

be this classic Hollywood archetype. You're going

4:52

to be wearing like ball gowns, talking

4:54

about how, oh, when I was in

4:57

my prime before my riddle podcast days.

4:59

Oh, you were going to, you boys.

5:01

I bet you have to get to

5:03

your deployment soon. You are going to

5:05

be, mark my words, you are going

5:07

to be the podcast worlds Elizabeth

5:09

Taylor. Glamorous, glamorous as all

5:12

get out, six to seven ex

5:14

husbands. Eight, maybe eight, maybe eight. Maybe

5:16

seven I want dream bigger Do

5:18

I want to be the podcast

5:20

world Elizabeth Taylor? Erin I

5:22

hope you never find love. Oh my

5:24

god, because that's what you said

5:27

you want it. Yeah Well, so let's

5:29

see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see.

5:31

Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's

5:33

see what I want that. Do I

5:35

want people sort of buying my necklaces

5:38

at auction? sort of my cheap necklaces.

5:40

Sort of buying my necklaces at

5:42

auction. Do I want to marry Richard

5:44

Burton, divorce him, and then marry him

5:47

again? Of course. Do I want to

5:49

win an Oscar for who's afraid of

5:51

her doing a wolf? Obviously. Do I

5:53

want to wear... You're taking this

5:55

very literal. Direct one to one.

5:57

Yeah, obviously. All right, I'll take it.

5:59

I'll be the Elizabeth Taylor of the

6:02

podcast world. Thank you, I'll actually hold

6:04

that in. It sounds like you'll just

6:06

be Elizabeth Taylor, but you'll also do

6:08

a podcast. And then what does, then

6:11

what else does it mean then? I

6:13

don't know. This is your fantasy. During

6:15

America's worst disaster, you, Michael Jackson and

6:17

Marlon Brando, will get in a car

6:20

and drive to Syracuse or whatever they

6:22

did. I don't know what that is.

6:24

What's a dose? What's a dose of.

6:28

There was an event in 2001

6:30

that I don't need to get

6:32

into it, but that day Oh,

6:34

right apparently Michael Jackson Elizabeth Taylor

6:36

Marlon Brando all panicked and kind

6:38

of thought that the US was

6:40

gonna That there's more to it

6:42

and they all got in a

6:44

car and tried to like drive

6:46

to the countryside or something somewhere

6:48

right now a 24-year-old is writing

6:50

that play If you listen you

6:52

clear your mind and you listen

6:54

you can hear A 24-year-old at

6:56

a coffee shop right now ready

6:58

to play. If you close your

7:00

eyes and just listen ever so

7:02

slightly, you can hear the reviews

7:04

being typed out in the New

7:06

York Times when that play opens

7:08

of the most unwatchable play ever

7:10

to grace the boards. Rehearsals is

7:12

just one of the three being

7:14

like, should I do the impression

7:16

or should I? Can I just

7:18

talk normal? So, guys, how are

7:20

you? Because last we checked in,

7:22

we were all together in person.

7:24

Well, actually, I don't necessarily know

7:26

that we spent any time together

7:29

in person the last time we

7:31

checked in. Well, we saw each

7:33

other in person, we did a

7:35

show together. We did see each

7:37

other, and we did do a

7:39

show together, and I think that

7:41

that was the extent of it.

7:43

It turns out that due to

7:45

everyone's different sleep schedules, and Aaron's

7:47

different, whatever she's got going on

7:49

schedule. All it is that I

7:51

was in San Francisco for like

7:53

two days and I saw you

7:55

guys for an hour when we

7:57

did our show. Well, that's not

7:59

necessarily true. I spent way more

8:01

time with your friend Michael and

8:03

Adle's wife. I spent a ton

8:05

of time with those two people.

8:07

I don't know. I don't know

8:09

that I saw the two of

8:11

you at all. Well, we sent

8:13

her representatives to hang out. Do

8:15

you have a cook? You saw

8:17

a show together. Oh, that's right.

8:19

We did see a show together.

8:21

Um, we ordered her phone the

8:23

whole time. You were on your

8:25

phone ordering it to you food.

8:27

Whoa, double, double, double, double, cross.

8:29

You, I order it for you,

8:31

Bob. And you. And twins. And

8:33

twins. Whatever, so I guess I

8:35

did, I did to blow up

8:37

Aaron's spot. I did commiserate with

8:39

her friend Michael, because we were

8:41

both talking and Aaron was on

8:43

her phone doing something. And we

8:45

were both like, isn't it strange

8:47

to see Aaron on her phone

8:49

so much? Yet you can't get

8:51

her to text you back. And

8:53

then I showed you how many

8:55

texts that I have. And it

8:57

ruined my night. That was actually

8:59

the worst part. I was looking

9:01

up something for us by the

9:03

way when I was on my

9:05

phone. I was looking up something

9:07

for the group and then they

9:09

were coming after me. Sure. But

9:11

here's, this is my new process

9:13

and it's going actually so well.

9:15

I cannot wait to hear about

9:17

the new process. I will not

9:19

respond because it was driving me

9:21

fucking insane to be so constantly

9:23

available because I have... And when

9:25

was this at what point in

9:27

your life were you constantly available?

9:29

I just wish I would have

9:31

known you at that time so

9:33

I could take I could have

9:35

taken advantage Okay, so there's a

9:37

time in your life when you

9:39

were super available No, well I

9:41

felt the pressure to be super

9:43

available. The pressure. Oh, it's so

9:45

much different to feel the pressure

9:47

I will respond to text. Okay,

9:49

which is great I don't love

9:51

that. It makes me feel overwhelmed.

9:53

I feel it makes me causes

9:55

me a ton of anxiety. So

9:57

I will every two days. I

9:59

will sit down with a T and I will

10:02

go through all my texts and I will

10:04

respond to all of them. But I

10:06

just think it's unreasonable. Texts and T.

10:08

Texts and T. Texts and T. Texts

10:10

and T. Yes I have like these

10:12

group chats like GBC one of those things

10:15

was a group chat a hundred of

10:17

those text messages where group chat just

10:19

from like 36 hours. Like that is

10:21

the level of texting and so

10:23

I like I don't I cannot be constantly.

10:25

Why don't do this this this this is

10:28

fun. This is fun. Let's get a shared

10:30

Google calendar. We have that. Well, no,

10:32

we don't, but I love that for you.

10:34

Yes, I invite you to do some Google

10:36

events. That's not the same thing.

10:38

Okay. So let's get a shared Google

10:41

calendar. Okay. You tell me when your

10:43

text and T times are. I get them on

10:45

the block and I know great. If I

10:47

need Aaron, boom. I can hit her during

10:49

text and T. And I can hit

10:51

her during text and T. And I can

10:54

hit her during text and T. No,

10:56

it's fine. It's fine. Oh, well, Adel, I

10:58

didn't even hear you make it. Adel,

11:00

you're a VIP. Call me any time, baby.

11:02

Oh, all right. What the fun? Right

11:05

to the front of the line.

11:07

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me,

11:09

folks. I actually know, I know

11:11

Aaron, sorry, excuse me. I know

11:13

Aaron. Everybody's trying to get to

11:15

the front of the line. Everybody

11:18

knows Aaron. If you have my

11:20

number, you know me. This line

11:22

is just 40 people standing shoulder

11:24

to shoulder. It's not, we're sort

11:26

of abreast versus deep. Hmm, this

11:29

sucks. Okay. People don't have a

11:31

cue. That's a big problem.

11:33

People just don't know how to

11:35

cue anymore. JPC, I care about

11:37

you a lot. You matter to matter

11:40

to me. I appreciate that. Aaron, you

11:42

met her to me as well. I've got a

11:44

couple of emails. But you haven't

11:46

responded to you. I know what I

11:48

will. And I'd love to text a

11:50

T baby, whatever text a T is

11:52

coming up, I love... It's happening today,

11:54

and I'll show you. These are the things that

11:56

I have to get done today. You have

11:58

to. It's just like... What can we

12:01

get done today? That's what

12:03

I'm all about. Respond to

12:05

JPC is right there. That's

12:07

in the middle. That's not

12:09

bad. RSVP. RSPC. RSVP. I

12:11

probably didn't make it above

12:13

brush teeth, but I'm definitely

12:15

close eyes, go to drift

12:17

off to dreamland. I love

12:19

the middle. The other stuff

12:21

is like really crazy urgent

12:23

stuff. So good. You're like

12:25

on the stuff that is

12:27

like. Very very important. Your

12:29

top of the list. Can

12:31

we hear one of the

12:33

urgent ones? Skin stuff or...

12:35

Too addle with my hands

12:37

is never one. Come on.

12:39

It's gonna be a long

12:41

process. Um, so... Yeah, this

12:43

guy loves life. He's got

12:45

a real Schwatt Aviv. I

12:47

got a real thick neck.

12:49

You're not going to be

12:51

able to choke me out.

12:53

Who said I was going

12:55

to use your neck? I'm

12:57

going to touch you in

12:59

the stomach. Coudini style. Wow.

13:01

Well guys, unfortunately, and you're

13:03

not going to believe this,

13:05

this is a riddle podcast.

13:07

Sure. I believe that. I

13:09

think we should do some

13:11

riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems.

13:13

What do you think? I

13:15

do too think that as

13:17

well. I'd sign off on

13:19

that. Fantastic. Is everyone mad

13:21

at me? Doesn't matter. Okay,

13:25

these first riddles are from Lizzy

13:27

T. And they, Lizzy has a

13:29

very cool job. I spend a

13:31

lot of time listening to you

13:34

while I do my work as

13:36

a scenic artist, aka a person

13:38

who paints sets for theater, which

13:40

is so cool. That's amazing. Lizzy

13:42

was doing the New York Times

13:45

crossword the other day and they

13:47

had a few clues that trapped

13:49

my brain into thinking about these

13:51

little puzzles. They're kind of like

13:53

if Hink Pinks were word avalanches.

13:56

Essentially, it's a series of usually

13:58

three words that are spelled the

14:00

same, but one vowel changes each

14:02

time. There are some that I've

14:04

come up with as well, of

14:07

greatly varying quality. Feel free to

14:09

pick and choose. Okay. Thanks, Lizzie.

14:11

Thank you, Lizzie. Aaron, can I

14:13

ask you something? Yeah, sure. Anything.

14:15

I've had a really weird... Oh,

14:18

very good. Excuse me. Sorry, let

14:20

me just step in front of

14:22

JPC. I've had a dream maybe

14:24

for... Peeing? Oh, you're pissing on

14:26

the back of my thighs, whatever

14:29

that area is called. You guys,

14:31

whatever that get a room. Get

14:33

a room. I've had a dream

14:35

for a few years, Aaron, and

14:38

I'm embarrassed to say it, but

14:40

I feel like this is a

14:42

safe space and I feel like

14:44

if anyone will get me in

14:46

this idea, it's you. You and

14:49

me, at all, we're locked at.

14:51

Oh, good. You and me, kid.

14:53

Goose and Maverick. Baby. One of

14:55

us is not long for this

14:57

world. I have this idea where

15:00

I get a theater designer, a

15:02

set designer. to go into my

15:04

bedroom okay and make it like

15:06

you put black boxes down it's

15:08

hard it's black wood and there's

15:11

like pieces of tape around the

15:13

bedroom there's a proscenium painted there's

15:15

like fake windows like make your

15:17

bedroom like this set of a

15:19

play and how how quickly are

15:22

you trying to get divorced? I

15:24

think you have a big enough

15:26

house that you could have, it

15:28

doesn't even have to be your

15:30

bedroom metal. Okay. All right. Now,

15:33

this may be a silly question.

15:35

Why do you want this? CCPCs,

15:37

you're not locked in, you're not

15:39

goose and maverick with us, you

15:41

don't get it. I'm Iceman. I'm

15:44

still in the movie. I just

15:46

made me a kind of an

15:48

antagonist. I guess gun to my

15:50

head, something has to change. pay

15:52

that someone else does. I'm not

15:55

trying to talk you out of

15:57

this, but in my home growing

15:59

up. in the basement. There is the

16:01

storage thing that was essentially a

16:03

stage. And we used to do a

16:05

ton of plays on it. And literally

16:08

there was like lights facing it and

16:10

we put up curtains and my sister

16:12

would direct me a load of plays

16:14

and we would put on plays and

16:17

we'd do S&L bits and we'd do

16:19

Monty Python bits. That's amazing. Now I'm

16:21

on a riddle podcast and I have

16:23

to sit down every three days of

16:25

response to text because of my mental

16:28

health. Do you want... potential

16:30

kids, cats, whoever's in your

16:32

home, ending up like me. So you

16:34

have a stage in your house, you're

16:36

gonna end up with a kid with

16:38

a personality like Aaron Keith. Cats,

16:40

yes, kids, no. And I don't

16:42

want that, I hope that doesn't

16:44

insult you. Aaron, I wouldn't wish

16:47

your life on two of my cats.

16:49

Here's the thing. My life is

16:51

amazing. It's just that JPC doesn't

16:53

like any choice that I've ever

16:55

made, not even one time. I

16:57

disagree that your life is

16:59

amazing. I think it's incredible.

17:01

But what I can observe. Do I

17:04

have... Am I accident prone? Sure.

17:06

Am I pissing you off

17:08

constantly? Obviously. Did you

17:10

just join the Pixar family?

17:13

Yes. And I can talk about

17:15

it. Like I can say anything

17:17

about it now. Kind of very

17:19

freeing. For four years I've been

17:21

terrified. Aaron. Your life is

17:23

amazing. Text from you, not

17:26

30 minutes ago, when you were

17:28

20 minutes late to this episode.

17:30

But because my internet goes out...

17:32

Is it possible to trade somebody to

17:34

be old man puzzles? I can do

17:37

it if I have to, but I

17:39

feel like I'm a puddle. Now

17:41

I don't know too much about

17:43

amazing lives, but there's only one

17:46

person who has an amazing life

17:48

who can turn into a puddle.

17:50

Alex Mac! Alex Mac! I

17:53

have an awesome dog, right? Incredible.

17:55

My family, amazing. Friends, awesome.

17:57

Adam, Aaron Keats, 40 minutes.

18:00

I'm losing my mind. I feel like

18:02

I'm going insane. You guys. Two days

18:04

from today. This is what's been so

18:06

frustrating. My internet goes out maybe three

18:09

times a day with absolutely no warning.

18:11

And it is so crazy. Yesterday I

18:13

had a really important meeting that I

18:16

was so scared for and was so

18:18

paranoid that the internet was going to

18:20

go out. It lo and behold, right

18:23

in the middle of it, it went

18:25

out. And then I'm like on the

18:27

verge of tears when I get back

18:30

to the meeting eventually. It's like such

18:32

a nightmare. I've had to download the

18:34

TV shows I want to watch onto

18:37

my iPad because I'll be in the

18:39

middle of watching a fucking movie and

18:41

the internet goes out. It is no

18:44

way to live. It is no way

18:46

to live. If you're Alex Max dermatologist,

18:48

do you think that you know? Like,

18:51

can you tell that she can turn

18:53

into a puddle? Here's the other thing.

18:55

My life is actually perfect. It's just

18:58

this little shit, okay? Everything else is

19:00

great. Beautiful dog, beautiful family, perfect friends.

19:02

My life is, I get to do

19:04

comedy all the time. I'm seeing someone

19:07

amazing. He's so funny and he's so

19:09

nice. I mean, everything's fine. Let's shoot

19:11

these riddles from Lizzy! Yeah, please, please.

19:14

So no on the theater room. What

19:16

do you mean at all? What do

19:18

you mean? What do you mean? What

19:21

do you mean no? What do you

19:23

mean no on the theater room? I

19:25

think do it. What do you mean

19:28

no? What do you mean no? Well,

19:30

the first thing you said was, how

19:32

much do you want to divorce or

19:35

whatever? What do you mean no? You

19:37

guys, I'm actually so fine. And aren't

19:39

you proud of me for coming? I

19:42

splash cold water on my face. I

19:44

was crying the second my internet photo.

19:46

Aaron Be honest at first, did you

19:49

accidentally splash your face with like windex

19:51

or something? Ha ha ha ha ha!

19:53

Aaron's a mess. You know what? Because

19:56

your face is sparkling. Adel, you'd think

19:58

that, but that's not actually the way

20:00

that Windex works. She splashed Windex on

20:02

her mirror and then smashed her face

20:05

into the mirror. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. The

20:07

guy that I'm seeing, I keep going,

20:09

I'm such a mess. Can you leave

20:12

how much? And he goes, you really

20:14

seem to have a lot together. And

20:16

then I go, you know who would

20:19

laugh out loud of that? Adel and

20:21

JPC. Can I tell you what you

20:23

guys? I would never laugh at a

20:26

person who had a mental deficiency, Aaron.

20:28

I would never do that. Excuse me,

20:30

VIP. Excuse me, VIP. Um, Aaron, do

20:33

you mind if for the rest of,

20:35

uh, until whenever you're comfortable? Can we

20:37

just call him Zork? Oh, yeah. Zork,

20:40

the guy? Yeah. Oh, yeah, sure. Just

20:42

say Zork. Zork. Yeah, okay, thank you.

20:44

Um, this is... I was like, I

20:47

actually think he'll love that. Is that

20:49

actually going to get confusing? Because Adela,

20:51

I just agreed this week and we're

20:54

going to start calling our wife Zork.

20:56

Yeah, it's fine. Well, hold on. Things

20:58

can be Zork and there is a

21:00

Zork. So in the new language we're

21:03

creating. Yeah. You can be Zork, but

21:05

you can also be A Zork. You

21:07

guys, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting,

21:10

we're getting, we're, we're getting this confusing.

21:12

You know. If anyone's a youngest sibling

21:14

you'll understand this, every time I go

21:17

home to Massachusetts, I still feel like

21:19

my sisters think I'm 11, right? Like,

21:21

they, I'm frozen in time for them

21:24

and they'll never take me seriously. And

21:26

the second I get home, I'm like,

21:28

take me seriously and laugh at my

21:31

jokes. Like, I regress immediately. Because I

21:33

have been such a mess, right? In

21:35

my whole life in front of you

21:38

guys. I feel sort of... And I

21:40

know today I was also a mess,

21:42

but I feel frozen in time with

21:45

you guys a little bit. Sure. Yeah.

21:47

You need to see to the outside

21:49

world. Yeah. I work very very hard.

21:52

My career on my career. I try

21:54

to take care of other people. I

21:56

pay rent alone in Los Angeles. and

21:58

I have a dog alone. Right? I'm

22:01

getting alone pretty hard. I'm fine. What

22:03

about Zork? Zork is great. If Zork

22:05

is great. But Zork is new. He

22:08

probably feels pretty Zork. Nared, why did

22:10

I tell you this weekend? I told

22:12

you I could fix your entire life

22:15

in two days. I know and I

22:17

said go for it. I'm ready. I'm

22:19

ready. I'm ready. Yeah, go ahead. Oh,

22:22

please. Oh no. I actually, I'm open

22:24

to that. I'm open to that JPC.

22:27

I'm going to talk to Zork. I'm

22:29

going to get Zork to put a

22:31

wedding ring on that finger first off.

22:34

Ooh. I'm going to get Zork to

22:36

lock it down. Do the right things.

22:38

I'm begging you to do the right

22:41

thing. You've seen each other three months.

22:43

But be ethical and get a cubic

22:45

Zorkonia or whatever? Zorkodium. Whatever makes sense.

22:47

Whatever big. Zorkodium. What kind of Riddles?

22:50

I know. And I'm trying. I'm trying.

22:53

Snide comment about collectible

22:55

figuring. And Bill Burr

22:58

is pissed. Sorry, Aaron,

23:00

go ahead. Snide comment

23:02

about collectible figuring. Um.

23:04

Toy, snow. The vowel

23:06

changes? The vowel changes?

23:08

The vowel changes. The

23:10

vowel changes. The vowel

23:12

changes. The words aren't

23:15

necessarily in the order

23:17

in which I'm giving

23:19

the clues. Got it.

23:21

So snide comment about

23:23

a collectible figurine. Could

23:25

this one be the

23:27

example? Sure. And this

23:29

one kind of hard.

23:31

Snape. Snoop. But the

23:34

collectible figurine is two

23:36

words and the snide

23:38

comment is one word.

23:40

Action figure? Wait, wait,

23:42

wait, wait. Then make

23:44

this the example because

23:46

I have no idea

23:48

what we're talking about.

23:51

No, so the collectible

23:53

figurine is the same

23:55

word twice, but a

23:57

different vowel in it.

23:59

G-I-Jo-Jo? G .I. Joe Maslamo,

24:01

G .I. Palomo. I'll make this example.

24:03

Aaron, I'm drowning. this example.

24:05

Aaron, I'm drowning.

24:07

Nick-Nack, knock,

24:09

knock. Like, collectible

24:12

figurine, Nick-Nack, and

24:14

then Stein comment,

24:16

knock. Okay. Got it.

24:19

Nick, comment, knock. Okay. Got

24:21

it. Nick, Nick, comment,

24:23

knock, and then, comment,

24:26

knock. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

24:28

Okay. Isn't that insane? I didn't

24:30

know this. I thought we weren't going

24:33

to learn today. This feels like a

24:35

set up to a street joke. This

24:37

feels like I'm going to be like,

24:39

how do they figure that out? Like

24:41

the punchline is going to be like...

24:43

Smashing Boston's or... I would like to

24:45

see a scene. Uh, JPC and Adle,

24:48

your roommates, and Adle,

24:50

you're coming home from

24:52

like a vacation, and

24:54

JPC, you've accidentally ruined

24:57

all of Adle's very

24:59

expensive collectible figurines, and

25:01

you're trying to just sort

25:03

of smooth things over. Zork, I'm

25:05

home. Hey, Mark, can I grab

25:08

your bags? Can I take your

25:10

bags? Oh, I will just float them

25:12

up to the attic, where I store

25:14

my stuff. Oh. Time to go

25:16

play with my figures, hmm? Um,

25:19

God, you've been gone for, you've

25:21

been gone for, you've been

25:23

gone for a week. God is dead.

25:25

Yeah, your God. Uh, yeah, you've been

25:28

gone, you've been gone for a

25:30

week, um. Mm-hmm. I was in

25:32

Las Vegas. Yes, we, how'd you

25:35

do? How'd you do? I was

25:37

up and then down, and then

25:39

up and then up and then

25:41

down. And that was just in

25:43

bed. Haha-and- I bet you probably

25:45

didn't hear about the big

25:47

earthquake we had. Oh no,

25:49

I try to keep my

25:52

telecommunications to advise me for

25:54

all natural disasters. Telecommunication? Mm-hmm.

25:56

Phone calls? Okay.

25:58

Yeah, we just have... phone calls.

26:00

Um, anyway, yeah, there's a big

26:03

earthquake. Um, I haven't even, I

26:05

honestly have not even been up

26:08

stairs because you said don't go

26:10

in your room because that's where

26:12

all of your stuff is. Oh,

26:15

but yeah, a lot of the

26:17

stuff that has got pretty broken.

26:20

Oh, my bird skeletons grabs onto

26:22

the fire pole, flies upward.

26:24

Oh, oh, no. Oh, no. There.

26:26

I can't really ruin all. It's

26:29

all ruined. Oh, it's all ruined.

26:31

Oh, no. Whoa, look at, oh

26:34

my god, the earthquake seemed to

26:36

hit all your bird skeletons. Oh,

26:38

and they're covered in fingerprints

26:40

with peanut butter. Oh, you know

26:43

what? Yes, they are. Yes. Can

26:45

I see your hands? Well, no.

26:48

You've been standing with your hands

26:50

behind your back like a southern

26:52

lawyer. Please just put your hands

26:55

forward. It's for law school I

26:57

have to do it this way.

27:00

You know what it was is

27:02

that the the first place that

27:04

the firefighters came after You know

27:07

to investigate they came from the

27:09

peanut butter factory which had

27:11

also The the earthquake hit the

27:14

peanut butter factory pretty hard. So

27:16

the firefighters probably came in and

27:18

probably tracked all this peanut butter

27:21

all of your bird skeletons Why

27:23

would they touch the peanut butter?

27:26

Doesn't make sense. They were

27:28

people trapped in there. Can peanut

27:30

butter catch on fire? Let's try

27:32

it. It was an earthquake. Well,

27:35

hold on, let's not go burning

27:37

peanut butter. Taking your skin, taking

27:40

your skin. I like Zork, he's

27:42

alien. Zork's kind of fun.

27:44

Zork. Singer Parton, when she's aimlessly

27:46

wasting time. Dolly, lolly, lolly, gagging.

27:49

Dolly, lolly, gagging. Dolly, lolly, lolly,

27:51

lolly, lolly. It all begins with

27:54

D. Every kiss begins with D.

27:56

Dolly, Dally, Dilly, Dilly, Dally,

27:58

Dolly, Dolly, Dolly. A feeling of

28:00

guilt after cheating at table tennis.

28:03

Shame, game shame. Table tennis is,

28:05

oh, ping pong, dog. Yeah, fun.

28:08

Pigpong, dog. I do want to

28:10

see a scene. Oh, fuck, you

28:12

got there first. You guys

28:14

are playing ping pong, but you

28:17

want the other one to win.

28:19

Okay, here that's good because my

28:22

scene was going to be you

28:24

as a doctor telling Eddle that

28:26

he had ping pong dog. I

28:29

want to see that one.

28:31

Now let's see that soon. I

28:33

would rather die. Doctor. Doctor, what's

28:36

wrong with me? Promise not to

28:38

laugh. Okay. The doctor said you

28:40

are gonna kill me. I love

28:43

the, the deuce is about me,

28:45

but I can't laugh. All right,

28:48

hold on, Aaron, I wonder what

28:50

was yours. What was yours? Yours

28:52

was, you guys are playing ping

28:55

pong and you want the other

28:57

one to win. Okay. Oh, it's,

29:00

um. It's your serve, I

29:02

think. Yeah, I think it's your

29:04

serve. Yeah, I think it's my

29:06

serve, yeah. And what's the rule?

29:09

If I keep losing my racket,

29:11

eventually I just don't get a

29:14

racket, right? Eventually I just have

29:16

to use hand if I

29:18

keep throwing. Yeah, I think you

29:20

just use hand. I think I'm

29:23

on hand now then, because I

29:25

can't keep, I can't keep, okay,

29:28

so it's your serve. Yeah. Oh.

29:30

Eventually you'll. Have to, you know.

29:32

Or maybe just lose the

29:34

serve and it's my point. Anyway,

29:37

we've been doing this for about

29:39

20 minutes. No one scored a

29:42

point. We just keep trading the

29:44

serve back and forth. Why don't

29:46

we cut the serve part

29:48

out? Okay, yeah. So how do

29:51

we start? How do we start?

29:53

Like jump ball like they do

29:56

in the end, be like a

29:58

jump ball. Let's do jump ball.

30:00

Okay, so I'm gonna throw the

30:03

ball straight up in the

30:05

air over the net. And then

30:07

try and as we land go

30:10

backwards so we don't cut a

30:12

ball yet hit ourselves in this

30:14

tummy with the table. Okay here

30:17

we go so yeah three two

30:19

three two. Should I do

30:21

like a three two one throw

30:24

or three two throw three two

30:26

one and then throw it up

30:28

and jump up yeah three two

30:31

one. Three two one and then

30:33

throw it up and jump up

30:36

yeah three two one. It's your

30:38

point. Hey Ms. is a painful

30:40

watch, so I'm just gonna sort

30:43

of- Doctor! Doctor! Can you do

30:45

an exam? I think me and

30:48

my friend both got ping pong

30:50

dog after that. Well that's

30:52

very funny, and I'm sure you

30:54

do. But you're also sleeping with

30:57

each other's lives, so let's just

30:59

clear the air, and that's why

31:02

this is happening. Are you ready?

31:04

What were the previous ones? The

31:06

New York Times ones? Oh.

31:09

Abnormally noisy time-keeping device. Clock. Watch.

31:11

Smatch. Watch. Clock is right. Clock.

31:13

And remember it's the same word,

31:16

but you change the vowels. A

31:18

click-clack clock. A click-clack clock. Wow.

31:21

When you need to quickly get

31:23

rid of meat-based evidence. Mmm.

31:25

Beef, steak. This one's kind of

31:27

hard. I think it's very good,

31:30

though. Meat based evidence. Protein. Okay,

31:32

so what are we looking for

31:35

evidence? No. This is. The evidence

31:37

is kind of not the

31:39

word that we're looking for, but

31:41

when you're getting rid of. Dispose.

31:44

Yeah, so one of them is

31:46

like quickly. One of them is

31:49

meat and one of them is

31:51

getting rid of. This is probably

31:53

the grossest word to use

31:55

for meat. Oh, um... Because you're

31:58

like, oh, that is what it

32:00

is. Oh. Flash? Yes. So then

32:03

you just change the vowels? Okay.

32:05

And there's actually not that many

32:07

vowels. Skin? Flush, flesh. I think

32:10

flesh is like... Is flesh

32:12

all of it? Yeah. Yeah. Wait.

32:14

Flushes all of it? What is

32:17

that? Well, flesh isn't just like

32:19

skim, like bacon. Oh, I can't

32:21

Google. Oh, you're saying flesh. Yes.

32:24

I said flush, flesh, flesh, flesh.

32:26

Yeah, kind of kind of disgusting,

32:29

huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

32:31

Okay, we're gonna quickly get through

32:33

the rest of these and then

32:36

we're gonna take a break. Actually,

32:38

let's just take a break now

32:41

and then we'll get through

32:43

them so we don't have to

32:45

quickly get through them. Hey, it's

32:47

your party. Flush that flush. Yeah.

32:55

GBC, I'll too busy to talk. Also

32:57

so hungry, but I don't want to

32:59

eat fast food, even though I'm so

33:01

busy, but because fast food is going

33:04

to make me feel sick and sort

33:06

of tired and not feel me right.

33:08

But I got to keep going, I'm

33:10

moving, I'm busy, I'm on the go,

33:12

I'm having it all. Aaron, Aaron, busy

33:15

and hungry, shut up. I don't care

33:17

about your problems. Wait, wait, wait, wait,

33:19

wait, hold on, wait. What if there

33:21

is a solution to your problem? That

33:24

would help me just as much. That's

33:26

better than telling Aaron to shut up.

33:28

Yeah, Aaron, I'm not going to tell

33:30

you to shut up. I'm going to

33:33

tell you to tune in to Tempo.

33:35

Temo is a weekly delivery service that

33:37

delivers chef-crafted meals from a dietician-approved menu

33:39

fresh to your door. Yeah, Aaron, Tempo

33:42

serves up fast, feel-good, single-serving meals that

33:44

are crafted. to cook in just three

33:46

minutes. So you can eat well without

33:48

sacrificing taste or convenience. Yeah, Aaron, here's

33:50

the thing. Sometimes I get home and

33:53

I'm like, I don't have time to

33:55

cook. The thought of cutting and dicing

33:57

and slicing and baking, it just sounds

33:59

exhausting to me. So I open my

34:02

fridge, I take at one of these

34:04

tempo meals, it is ready in minutes.

34:06

The sweet and tangy chicken they have

34:08

with roasted potatoes, peas, and cream corn,

34:11

phenomenal. The sweet chili meatballs with jaspen

34:13

rice, edamama, and broccoli, delicious. It's all

34:15

pre-portioned. It's all very quick to make.

34:17

It's healthy, it's delicious. Aaron, it's what

34:20

you need. Wow, addle, shut up. Perfect.

34:22

They also offer a variety

34:24

of meals for different dietary

34:26

and taste preferences, including protein

34:28

packed, calorie conscious, carb conscious,

34:31

and fiber rich. I'm fiber rich, but

34:33

I'm cash poor. And for a limited

34:35

time, Timpo... Shut up! Well, this is

34:37

the part that I actually do have

34:40

to say. For a limited time, Timpo

34:42

is offering my listeners and... Tell them

34:44

she sees it yeah 60%

34:47

off your first box go

34:49

to tempo meals.com/riddle that's tempo

34:51

meals.com/riddle for 60% off your

34:54

first box tempo meals.com/

34:57

riddle rules and restrictions

34:59

may apply oh no oh no oh you want

35:01

to ask about whatever this is

35:04

what no it's no it's no it's it's

35:06

not it's not what you guys think

35:08

I don't even I have no what

35:10

you guys think I don't even I

35:12

have no Bones are picked clean. My problem

35:14

is with myself. Oh, what happened? You know

35:17

how I signed up for that shirt of a day

35:19

club? Sure of the day? Yeah, shirt of the day club.

35:21

That's an expensive thing. Yeah, but I

35:23

was like, I was like sick of like washing

35:25

clothes. So I was like, oh, I'll do like

35:27

a shirt. And like the way that the shirt

35:29

of the day club is supposed to work, it's

35:31

like they send you the shirt, you wear the

35:33

shirt all day, you're kind of natural. kind of

35:35

like body movement will dissolve the shirt by the

35:37

end of the day. Yeah, let me guess. You

35:40

forgot you want you did the one week trial

35:42

and then you forgot to cancel it and then

35:44

you now you've been paying a lot of money.

35:46

Yeah, and they haven't been dissolving. So I've

35:48

just been kind of putting them over the

35:50

old shirt and like it's kind of dissolving.

35:52

But basically like I basically wear like six

35:54

or seven shirts right now. They kind of

35:56

like dissolve like waste slower than there's. Could

35:58

you be wearing any more? Thank Huddle

40:00

up. It's me. Anuries. You can't beat

40:02

the post-kin burger and fries, right? Know

40:04

what else you can't be? The Anuries

40:06

special. Let's break it out. My

40:08

favorite barbecue sauce. American cheese. Christie

40:11

bacon, pickles, onions, onions, and a

40:13

Sesame-Ce bun, of course. And don't

40:15

forget the fries in a drink.

40:18

It's gonna be a high sea

40:20

for me. Sound good? All you

40:22

have to do to do to

40:25

get it. It's beat me, is

40:27

beat me, beat me in a

40:29

one-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one. I

42:00

think it takes 20 minutes after being

42:02

home that my sisters gang up on

42:05

me and immediately are like, I've told

42:07

you guys this, you're like, remember

42:09

when you tried, you thought you had early

42:11

access to a Harry Potter book and you

42:13

printed it out and then you were so

42:16

ashamed of it? Remember this? They bring that

42:18

up every time I go home and I was

42:20

like, I was fucking 11. Yeah. I thought it

42:22

ended up being smut. It ended up being

42:25

Harry Potter smut and I. Of course.

42:27

Can you, can you read this. Can you read

42:29

this. Harry Potter's throbbing run. Turn to

42:31

page 69. We are back with some

42:33

of these Lizzy originals. I have

42:36

a question though because Adam

42:38

mentioned like a grandpa's stamp

42:40

collection and like really wanting

42:42

it like putting in this house.

42:44

I want to pitch to you a game show.

42:47

Now the game show is I get like

42:49

a list of items that I know are

42:51

in your house and your possession. Good

42:53

luck. And then I'd say that I

42:55

take you in your house. I spend

42:57

you around ten times. And then I

42:59

start the clock and I say, go find

43:01

this thing. And then if you find it

43:03

within like a certain amount of time, you

43:06

get to keep it. Wow. But if you

43:08

don't find it, you got to get rid

43:10

of it. Or sell it. I'd be getting

43:12

ready to 90% of my stuff. I actually

43:14

really like this game. I think

43:16

that this could be, this could, this

43:18

could be, we could really make this work.

43:20

I mean what could go wrong, right? Oh,

43:22

you're saying he'd get too dizzy and

43:24

he'd want to flesh? Yeah. Like a

43:26

kid playing a T-ball when he spins around

43:29

eight times? Yeah, Ted might be too

43:31

much. I love getting dizzy though, man.

43:33

Ain't no better high than getting dizzy. Your

43:35

kid seems to be really on a dizzy kick

43:37

right now. They love being dizzy. If they

43:39

could, they just be dizzy all the

43:42

time. And honestly, that sounds pretty

43:44

fucking sweet. Do you think that it's

43:46

going to translate into them being like

43:48

a figure skater or like a roller

43:50

coaster person? Like how do you think

43:52

that's going to manifest later? Lead singer

43:54

to Maricua. Well now that I know that

43:56

whole thing about having that whole stage in

43:58

your house, the only thing that I'm trying

44:01

to prevent them from becoming

44:03

is that Aaron Keith. So

44:05

I really like you. What?

44:07

It seems bad. It's wonderful.

44:09

You're right. I'm sorry. I

44:11

don't know why. My life

44:13

is so great that the

44:16

little bullshit that you guys

44:18

have to deal with and

44:20

like I have to deal

44:22

with like the internet stuff

44:24

is the price you pay

44:26

for having a life as

44:28

incredible as mine. Wow. Interesting.

44:30

Worth it. Worth it. I'm

44:32

so hot and tall and

44:35

beautiful. Can you believe? Having

44:37

trouble. I'm doing so good.

44:39

We believe you. Yeah, this

44:41

is a real lady doth

44:43

protest too much. I'm coming

44:45

after this too hard. We're

44:47

doing so good when you

44:49

printed out that porn book

44:52

for Mary's author when you

44:54

were 11. 10 points from

44:56

Griffin-door and... One piece of

44:58

clothing! Sir poker with McGonagall!

45:00

A dull book about world

45:02

record speeds. Guinness? Wait. Wow.

45:04

If it's Guinness, that's awesome.

45:06

A dull book about world

45:08

record speeds. Is it track?

45:11

No. Trick, track, track, truck.

45:13

Sprint, relay, Olympic. Is it

45:15

Guinness? Is it Ripley's? No.

45:17

It is not a specific

45:19

book about anything. It's a

45:21

way to say book. That

45:23

is... Tome? Yes. How did

45:25

you know? Whoa. You're so

45:27

impressive. I think it's all

45:30

those years on Magic Tavern.

45:32

Yeah. We always say Tome

45:34

or Grimmar. Time, Tom. Time,

45:36

Tom. Time, Tom. Time, records,

45:38

got it. It sounds like

45:40

you're talking to someone and

45:42

you're like. We'll meet tomorrow

45:44

at noon again and they're

45:47

like, time time, tole. Like,

45:49

trying to say same time.

45:51

It feels like it's, all

45:53

of these feel very Adam

45:55

Sandler coded. It's hot tole.

45:57

It's too hot for a

45:59

penguin to be just, time,

46:01

tole. A red herring went

46:03

in pursuit of a rogue

46:06

18-wheeler. Semi? Hmm. Truck, truck.

46:08

Wait trick a trick a

46:10

trick track. Yes track These

46:12

are fun. Hmm. Can't think

46:14

of a scene. That's rare.

46:16

I do want to see

46:18

a scene. Okay Aaron you

46:20

are a truck driver driving

46:23

a semi truck across America.

46:25

JBC you are in a

46:27

car pulling alongside the semi

46:29

truck that Aaron is in

46:31

and you're a little kid

46:33

trying to get Aaron to

46:35

do the hornhong thing but

46:37

she won't do it and

46:39

the cars are just sort

46:42

of parallel parallel enough for

46:44

you to have a conversation.

46:46

Oh, we are. I'm a

46:48

little boy. Look how strong

46:50

the little boy's arms are.

46:52

Okay, I'm weak. Oh, it's

46:54

not about that. Holds, you're

46:56

on the track. It's my

46:59

divorce anniversary, kid. I don't

47:01

need this today. I get

47:03

it, you're on your job.

47:05

You're a little kid and

47:07

you're stronger than me. I

47:09

get it out the window.

47:11

Kagan, you're crazy! Hey, you

47:13

don't know the truck side!

47:15

You don't know the truck

47:18

side! How long have you

47:20

been a truck driver? God,

47:22

this kid's crazy! Oh my

47:24

god, he's going to jump!

47:26

Open his window! He's hanging

47:28

off the side of my

47:30

truck! Kid, you're crazy! Come

47:32

get your kid, lady! And

47:35

we see his hands are

47:37

in the semi window and

47:39

his feet are still in

47:41

his car window. Oh God!

47:43

I roll it! Okay. What's

47:45

a hand crank? You don't

47:47

even have automatic windows? Handcranks

47:49

moves over to passenger side.

47:51

Kid, you're crazy! You're crazy,

47:54

kid! That's all I want

47:56

it! Is that so hard?

47:58

Okay, what the heck? How

48:00

long have you been driving

48:02

a truck? Twenty years! Get

48:04

out of our truck, kid!

48:06

No way! You don't look

48:08

a day over 29. You've

48:11

been driving this truck since

48:13

you were nine years old?

48:15

Hey, thanks, kid. I really

48:17

needed that. It's my divorce

48:19

anniversary. Well, I don't know

48:21

what he was thinking. I'm

48:23

assuming it's a he. Yeah,

48:25

it is. Yeah, okay. I

48:27

don't know what he was

48:30

thinking. Because we smashed cut

48:32

to a year of them

48:34

on the road. They've learned

48:36

a lot about each other.

48:38

They've both grown. Well, kid,

48:40

I gotta tell you, I

48:42

gotta tell you know, my

48:44

whole as good as good

48:47

as good as this. You

48:49

taught me everything I know,

48:51

kid. Well, I just want

48:53

to thank you for keeping

48:55

this relationship platonic. I guess

48:57

it was mostly me. You

48:59

wanted to make it sexual

49:01

a lot of times. Hey,

49:03

I fucking, fuck you. You

49:06

can't do that. You can't

49:08

do that. You can't do

49:10

that in an impropried. They

49:12

pass Billboard after Billboard that

49:14

says missing child with his

49:16

picture. I hate you guys.

49:19

I'm not mad at you today, not

49:21

you at all, you're VIP. Although I'm

49:23

a little bit mad at you, but

49:25

I'm mostly really mad at JPC. GPC.

49:27

I think the respond to JPC is

49:29

about to get a little further down

49:31

the list. Oh no. Well, I did

49:34

it to myself. We got a VIP

49:36

and a JPC. I can't, I can't

49:38

help myself. I like to play. Is

49:40

it a crime? I deserve everything that's

49:42

company to me. What happened to me?

49:44

What happened when you hit the tread

49:46

when you hit the tread of a

49:48

round metal ladder? The tread of a

49:50

round metal ladder? What is the tread

49:52

of a ladder? I've never seen a

49:54

round metal ladder. A docent is sort

49:56

of a person who gives tours around

49:58

a museum. Oh, is that

50:01

not helpful? A tire? A tire?

50:03

Oh, a round metal ladder? Would

50:05

that be like a spoke? No.

50:07

Round? An axle? A wheel? No.

50:10

An axle? A wheel? No, round?

50:12

Yeah. I'm thinking of the way

50:14

like the spokes of a bike.

50:16

You could like climb them like

50:19

a ladder if you were like

50:21

a borrower. Honey, I'm cleaning the

50:23

gutters. Oh, no, I'm rolling away!

50:25

Worst. That's the worst. What's something

50:28

that is circle shaped? What are

50:30

some things? Tire, wheel? A ball?

50:32

Smaller? Smaller? Smaller? Small ball. Adam?

50:34

Marble? Electron. You can wear it?

50:37

bracelet. Is you wear them? Smaller

50:39

than a bracelet? A ring. A

50:41

ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. A ring.

50:43

Ring. Ring. Ring rang, wrong. I'd

50:46

like to see a scene. Like

50:48

let's get loud. Adle, you are

50:50

on top of a very tall

50:52

ladder and GPC is in charge

50:55

of holding the ladder for you

50:57

to make sure you're safe, but

50:59

he's getting a little distracted. Just

51:01

a few more feet. There's a

51:04

guy in a food truck and

51:06

it looks like he's giving away

51:08

free Pepsi's. I've just watched people

51:10

walk up and get... It doesn't

51:13

look like anyone's paying and he's

51:15

just giving away free Pepsi's. I'll

51:17

buy you a Pepsi later, we're

51:19

trying to build the power to...

51:22

The same is a free Pepsi.

51:24

I know, I know, buddy. What

51:26

could be going on? Could a

51:28

Pepsi machine in the truck be

51:31

like going bad? And he's got

51:33

to offload all these... Another guy

51:35

with a Pepsi! Oh, yeah, it

51:37

must be like a meetup or

51:40

something, maybe a silly straw! I'll

51:42

be right there. Don't hold the

51:44

ladder. Hey, Chuck, hold the ladder.

51:46

I have one hand on it.

51:49

I'm... I have one hand on

51:51

it. I'm not gonna make it

51:53

across the street to get the

51:55

Pepsi. Hold on. I know. Hold

51:58

on. See this dog? Yeah? I'll

52:00

have this dog hold a letter.

52:02

Here boy, no. This is... I'll

52:04

tie, hold on, I'll tie his

52:07

leash. Is it a sitter? Or

52:09

setter? What are they called? I

52:11

don't know. How tie his leash

52:13

to the ladder and then, so

52:16

that'll weigh the ladder down. No,

52:18

but then when he runs, he'll,

52:20

he'll tug at the ladder. Oh,

52:22

good boy, stay. What's gonna run

52:25

at? Dogs don't want Pepsi. Stay.

52:27

Oh, he does. Oh, he really

52:29

wasn't. Okay. Oh, hold on, I'm

52:31

holding it. I'm holding it. Oh,

52:34

boy, he is really going after

52:36

that Pepsi. I'm gonna cut him

52:38

off. Okay. Okay, you're fine. You're

52:40

fine. You're fine. You're fine. Look

52:43

up. Oh my God. That dog's

52:45

getting a Pepsi. They're giving that

52:47

Pepsi to a good Pepsi. We

52:49

have your x-rays, and we have

52:52

your test results back. We have

52:54

your x-rays, and we have your

52:56

test results back. We have your

52:58

x-rays, and we have your test

53:01

results back. We have your test

53:03

results back, but you have to

53:05

promise to not laugh, okay? Give

53:07

it to me straight, doctor. You

53:10

have, uh, what was it? I

53:12

apologize. There's a lot going so

53:14

well for me. I think the

53:16

doctor can say to you during

53:19

a diagnosis. You have, what was

53:21

it? What was that thing you

53:23

came in here thinking you had?

53:25

Yes, that's it. Pink-Pong-Dong, I'm saying.

53:27

Hey, I apologize. How could you

53:29

forget the name of the episode?

53:31

Who says I'm going to make

53:33

that the name of the episode?

53:35

I think the name of the

53:37

episode is going to be Aaron

53:39

is thriving. You guys, I did

53:41

improv with so many cool people

53:43

this week. Adele and I got

53:45

to do improv with Richard Kind,

53:47

who was the nicest. Throughout the

53:49

whole show, he kept leaning over

53:51

to me and saying, this is

53:53

nuts! So cool. Which was incredible.

53:56

That's very fun. Richard, for a

53:58

moment it was just like 20

54:00

minutes of Richard Kind and I

54:02

just backstage sitting on steps together.

54:04

And I was like, well this

54:06

is kind of, this is quite

54:08

lovely. My favorite thing is Aaron

54:10

said she was, because before the

54:12

show we were talking to Richard

54:14

about like. for Magic Tavern, we're

54:16

like, so it's not Earth, but

54:18

you can make like an analogous,

54:20

you know, but you can't say

54:22

like, you know, I'm in San

54:24

Francisco and I have a computer,

54:26

you can't, you know, it's all

54:28

sort of, and he was like,

54:30

I kind of get it, and

54:33

then backstage I guess, Aaron said,

54:35

he said, so what are cars?

54:37

Yeah. He just kept asking questions

54:39

like that. And I was like,

54:41

let's fucking get into it, that's

54:43

what Lizzy said. Okay. Okay. Extremely

54:45

heavy Star Wars creature who made

54:47

it off-hoth to get some sun

54:49

and now happens to be made

54:51

of metal. So JBC you would

54:53

know best who was on Hoth?

54:55

Was that Jabbe? Was that the

54:57

Sarlok pit? Was that Bobo? Was

54:59

that Bobo? Well, I don't know

55:01

if I know enough to be

55:03

able to give good hints. Tom

55:05

Toms were off, right? Yeah, yeah.

55:07

Tom Tom, Tom? That's part of

55:10

it. This one's hard. Oh, the

55:12

Tontan, yeah, that he, Hoth is

55:14

an ice planet and he cuts

55:16

open up the Tontan. Yeah, to

55:18

sleep in the Tontan, so it's

55:20

a ton, is it just ton

55:22

or is it Tontan or is

55:24

it Tontan or is it Tontan

55:26

or is it Tontan, Tontan, Tontan,

55:28

Tontan, Tontan, Tant, Tontan, Tant, Tant,

55:30

Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant,

55:32

Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant,

55:34

Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant,

55:36

Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant,

55:38

Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant, Tant,

55:40

Tant, T 10, 10, 10, 10,

55:42

10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10,

55:44

10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10,

55:47

10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10,

55:49

10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10,

55:51

10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10,

55:53

10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10,

55:55

10, 10, 10, I like that

55:57

one. Ten-ton. Ten-ton. Ten-ton. Ten-ton. Ten-ton.

55:59

I do want to see a

56:01

scene. Ten-ton. What could you possibly...

56:03

What could this possibly be? Can't

56:05

wait. I do want to see

56:07

a scene. The two of you

56:09

are in the Star Wars universe.

56:11

You are trapped on Hoth. It

56:13

is freezing cold. JBC. You're trying

56:15

to convince Aaron to crawl inside

56:17

a... dead Tonton to stay warm

56:19

for the night? Aaron, you're oogged

56:21

out and don't want to go

56:24

inside. Looks like that wind isn't

56:26

letting up. Okay, Zorif, if you

56:28

want to stay alive, you're going

56:30

to have to climb inside this

56:32

Tonton. Oh, well, that's a little

56:34

weird. Well, no, I mean, it's

56:36

because its body heat is going

56:38

to be warm enough because it's

56:40

freshly killed. It's going to be

56:42

warm enough to keep you alive.

56:44

And it's like... and it's it's

56:46

frankly it's gonna be disgusting in

56:48

its body heat. I don't know

56:50

man I'm looking kind of in

56:52

there and it looks like you

56:54

sort of painted it and sort

56:56

of made it homey. Well yeah

56:58

I didn't want it to be

57:01

like not nice for you I

57:03

mean I didn't want it to

57:05

be like not nice for you

57:07

I mean can't do anything about

57:09

the smell but I could at

57:11

least spruce it up this just

57:13

feels a little insensitive he was

57:15

our companion like we were all

57:17

really close. Okay yeah maybe he

57:19

should live I'm gonna be fine.

57:21

Yeah, this Canadian goose harka all

57:23

the way down, big hood. Is

57:25

this why you killed him? Did

57:27

you, were you trying to make

57:29

his house into your apartment? Or

57:31

his body into your apartment? First

57:33

of all, I'm not going in

57:35

there. It stinks in there, and

57:38

I have a 1,200 credit jacket

57:40

that I'm going to be more

57:42

than comfortable. Okay, then why is

57:44

this huge TV in here? He

57:46

may have eaten that. That may

57:48

have been something he ate. Is

57:50

it partially digested? We cannot be

57:52

turning our friend's bodies into our

57:54

apartments. First of all, he was

57:56

not a friend, okay? I bought

57:58

him from a man. best man.

58:00

I was his only man. Sorry buddy I'm done

58:02

in here we did the for the kitchen

58:05

we did the back splash in the subway

58:07

to oh hi. Oh awesome here's here's

58:09

some credits and also you know here's some

58:11

credits for like lunch or whatever keeps of

58:13

something you know. Oh nice I know I

58:15

don't have to but you and the guys

58:18

you did a great job have lunch on

58:20

me. Oh hell yeah guys we're getting space

58:22

sandwiches. Wow, you must

58:25

have had to hire these guys way

58:27

before he was dead. You're not a

58:29

very good friend man What are you

58:31

kidding me? I just met this guy in

58:34

his little babu freaks. Hey guys,

58:36

I don't even are you willing to

58:38

do another job? Yeah, if the credits

58:40

are right Smash cut to me living

58:42

inside of JPC's body Big

58:45

screen TV. He's still alive.

58:47

He's still alive squawk. It's

58:49

a living I love picturing

58:51

in the Star Wars universe

58:53

that it's canon now that

58:55

they have Canada Goosecoats, which

58:57

is like quite gungen in

58:59

a parka. Big as Canada

59:02

Goose parking. It's like a

59:04

praiske, who everyone wants to.

59:06

Super put together. A

59:08

totally tubular parking area

59:11

rental. A lit lot. Yeah. Yeah, you

59:13

got it. Tubular parking area.

59:15

A lit. Rental. Rental.

59:18

Rental. Rental. A Lent. A

59:20

Lent. A Lent. A Lent. Lent. Lent. Lent.

59:22

Lent. Lent, Lent, Lent. Lent. What

59:24

you were left with when your feline

59:26

is offended by the very

59:29

cheap sleeping arrangements. Caddy, kitty,

59:31

kitty, kuddy. You're so close. Kitty,

59:33

manicott? It's not kitty, is that we

59:35

say? Oh, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt,t, Litt,

59:38

Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt,

59:40

Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt,

59:42

Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt,

59:44

Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt,

59:46

Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt, Litt,

59:48

Litt, L Adle, you are

59:50

JBC's cat and you're pretty

59:52

unsatisfied with the living arrangements.

59:55

Meh. Fine, you know what? Don't

59:58

sleep in the ton ton. I guess

1:00:00

nobody wants to sleep in

1:00:02

the Tontas. I guess I'm

1:00:04

killing these things for some

1:00:07

sort of sport. Ah, California

1:00:09

King, meow. I don't have

1:00:11

a California King Tontan, I

1:00:13

have the Tontons that I

1:00:15

have, okay? This Tontat was

1:00:17

a queen among her people.

1:00:19

Yeah. Okay, fine, you're ungrateful.

1:00:22

You're unthird wrench, meow. One,

1:00:24

third rent? Well, okay. I'm

1:00:26

already paying one quarter portion.

1:00:28

I'm not going to start

1:00:30

paying a one-third rent on

1:00:32

top of my one-quarter portion.

1:00:34

I've done you in the

1:00:37

Sarlack pit. Oh! No, I'm

1:00:39

throwing your ass in the

1:00:41

Sarlack pit. Green works. Green

1:00:43

size works. Man. A queen

1:00:45

works? Green works? Green works.

1:00:47

Green works. Green nominolifies. But

1:00:50

it works. You're an angel.

1:00:52

Not left out to soak.

1:00:54

Meow. Meow. Meow. He said.

1:00:57

Not every dish needs to soak,

1:00:59

meow, meow, meow, meow. Fine. Okay,

1:01:01

you know what? Why don't we

1:01:03

do this? Why we just agree

1:01:05

to disagree? We'll go our separate

1:01:07

ways. You keep half the ton

1:01:09

ton, I'll keep my half. And

1:01:11

I'll keep my half. Okay? Meow,

1:01:13

meow, meow. And you got the

1:01:15

better half. Oh yeah. No room

1:01:17

in the neck. My ass crawling

1:01:19

up into a tonton neck, no

1:01:22

way. I got the farthest, man,

1:01:24

man. Fuck a tiny as cat.

1:01:26

I'm six too in Star Wars

1:01:28

height. Sleeped at a Todd Todd

1:01:30

neck. Unbelievable. There's a saucepan with

1:01:32

40 forks in here. What are

1:01:34

you seeing? So bitch. All right,

1:01:36

let's get through all of these,

1:01:38

because I'm loving them. And I

1:01:40

think we can do it. But

1:01:42

we have to really be focused,

1:01:45

gang. Can we do it?

1:01:47

Can we do it? Me?

1:01:49

I'm talking to JPC. Again,

1:01:51

Adel, VIP. What is it?

1:01:53

Goose and Maverick. You and

1:01:56

me, kid, we're locked in

1:01:58

together. It's that guy over

1:02:00

there. Say hello, JPC. a

1:02:02

dog yes this one is

1:02:04

kind of cheating what you

1:02:07

need prepared when it's time

1:02:09

to sit at all down

1:02:11

and teach him how to

1:02:13

eat this candy properly well

1:02:15

kit cat is what I

1:02:18

don't eat properly yeah and

1:02:20

then what you need prepared

1:02:22

what's something that you prepare

1:02:24

if you're about to do

1:02:26

a go bag yeah but

1:02:29

a different way of saying

1:02:31

that kit yes a kit

1:02:33

kit cat cat I like

1:02:35

that. Two eyes. A poorly

1:02:37

lit police horse mom who

1:02:40

really likes telling someone what

1:02:42

else to do. A dim.

1:02:44

And police is in parentheses.

1:02:46

It's not important. It's just

1:02:48

sort of a little thing

1:02:50

for JPC. A poorly lit

1:02:53

horse mom who really likes

1:02:55

telling someone else what to

1:02:57

do. Horse. Really

1:02:59

likes telling someone else what

1:03:01

to do? Uh, right? Oh,

1:03:04

boss? No. Hmm. Think of

1:03:06

a boss in like a

1:03:08

sexual context. Oh, Dom? Dom.

1:03:10

Dom. A dim Dom. Dam.

1:03:12

Dam. A dim Dom Dam.

1:03:14

A dim Dom Dam. A

1:03:16

group of boss lady business

1:03:18

mask lesbians. Aaron. You always

1:03:20

say boss lady bitch, right?

1:03:23

Yep. So yeah, you got

1:03:25

one word. Is it Aaron?

1:03:27

No, it's on Aaron. Oh,

1:03:29

you said lady? Nope. I

1:03:31

don't know what it is.

1:03:33

B-I-T-C-H. Oh, bitch. A witch,

1:03:35

bitch, itch? What was, where

1:03:37

were the... A group of

1:03:39

boss lady, business, mask, lesbians,

1:03:42

and the valve. A butch,

1:03:44

bitch. Batch? Batch, no. Batch

1:03:46

a batch bitches. A bitch-bitch-batch.

1:03:48

What someone might say after

1:03:50

teenagers rang their door? for

1:03:52

the ninth time. Ding dong,

1:03:54

bitch bitch. Try that ding

1:03:56

dong, bitch, bitch again, bitch.

1:03:58

This is getting close to

1:04:01

him and him. Is it

1:04:03

ding? Yeah, that's the middle

1:04:05

word. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

1:04:07

Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

1:04:09

Dang. Dang. Dang. Dang. To

1:04:11

remove a bit of Mallard's

1:04:13

curiosity, oh sorry, to remove

1:04:15

a bit of a Mallard's

1:04:17

curiously shaped body part. Dick,

1:04:20

a fuck, dick, dick, Dick,

1:04:22

is part of it. Tell

1:04:24

me that's right. Dog, duck,

1:04:26

Dick, lie to me if

1:04:28

you have to, doctor, do

1:04:30

I have a dog, duck,

1:04:32

duck, yes, but don't laugh,

1:04:34

a lush forest of bells.

1:04:36

Chime, jungle, a jingle, jingle,

1:04:39

jingle. My money don't jingle

1:04:41

jungle jingle jingle jingle jingle.

1:04:43

Yeah jingle jangle jungle jungle

1:04:45

There's actually enough here to

1:04:47

come back to them I

1:04:49

think so I don't want

1:04:51

to rush through them, but

1:04:53

so let's do one more

1:04:55

It's different than what you

1:04:58

said five minutes ago shut

1:05:00

up You guys my internet

1:05:02

not running a whole other

1:05:04

episode I was planning on

1:05:06

doing and then it threw

1:05:08

me for such a loop

1:05:10

and I burst into tears

1:05:12

and I went I don't

1:05:14

know if I can do

1:05:17

it and then I I

1:05:19

adjusted, I fixed it, and

1:05:21

I fixed it. And it's

1:05:23

still not good enough. Thank

1:05:25

you, Adel. It's not, it's

1:05:27

never you, Adel. You and

1:05:29

me, kid, we are locked

1:05:31

in. Your VIP. I think

1:05:33

I might believe you if

1:05:36

you say it a few

1:05:38

more times. I think I'm

1:05:40

getting close to getting it.

1:05:42

You're doing well. Someone that

1:05:44

chooses who gets to kiss

1:05:46

an athlete from Green Bay.

1:05:48

Packer, a picker, Packer, picker,

1:05:50

picker, picker. Packer, pucker, picker.

1:05:52

Say it four times a

1:05:55

second. Peter Piper pecker pick

1:05:57

a pack of peckers Yeah,

1:05:59

you should packers 11 times

1:06:01

Adle yes You and me

1:06:03

locked in my VIP goodness

1:06:05

gracious great balls right to

1:06:07

the front of the line

1:06:09

tell us what you want

1:06:11

to plug my guy. Oh

1:06:14

boy. I guess number one

1:06:16

with a bullet would be

1:06:18

the hey rid of little

1:06:20

patron you can find I

1:06:22

want to say dozens if

1:06:24

not hundreds of episodes of

1:06:26

bonus contents, all types of

1:06:28

different series and improv and

1:06:30

games and whatnot. So check

1:06:33

it out, go to patron.com/hey

1:06:35

riddle riddle riddle. I think

1:06:37

you're gonna like the way

1:06:39

you look. Aaron, my dear,

1:06:41

you're absolutely best. What, you're

1:06:43

always VIP. What, what do

1:06:45

you have on on the

1:06:47

docket? Well, follow quality time

1:06:49

on Instagram if you would

1:06:52

like to come to my

1:06:54

monthly show. It's really cool.

1:06:56

It is a true variety

1:06:58

show. We've had carolers. We

1:07:00

had a history teacher come

1:07:02

and teach a little lesson.

1:07:04

It's so fun. It's at

1:07:06

the Lyric Theater in Los

1:07:08

Angeles and it's once a

1:07:11

month. So check that out.

1:07:13

JPC? Yes. You're sleeping in

1:07:15

and either plug something or

1:07:17

read a review. We would

1:07:19

love that. It's a Canada

1:07:21

Goose Carcass. Carcass. Spons of

1:07:23

the show. Send me a

1:07:25

jacket. Would love one. Carcass.

1:07:27

Negative 50 degrees in Chicago.

1:07:30

Because they'd be one of

1:07:32

those fucking jackets. Love a

1:07:34

$1,200 jacket. Yeah, here we

1:07:36

go. If you want to

1:07:38

get a review featured on

1:07:40

the show, leave a five-store

1:07:42

review anywhere. You leave reviews.

1:07:44

I might read it on

1:07:46

the show. Hey. I'm a

1:07:49

huge. Wait, sorry guys, but

1:07:51

I just walked in, that's

1:07:53

odd. I could just warn

1:07:55

I close that... Oh, she

1:07:57

has a notetape to her,

1:07:59

this is so weird, but

1:08:01

I guess I should read

1:08:03

it, right? Let me just...

1:08:05

Huh. We know what you

1:08:08

did in Tucson. Wow, what

1:08:10

a stupid thing for... I

1:08:12

mean, I've never even been

1:08:14

to Tucson, right? Guys, I've

1:08:16

never told you I was

1:08:18

in Tucson, right? Because I

1:08:20

never have been. Just to

1:08:22

be clear, you know what,

1:08:24

forget Tucson, let's get back

1:08:27

to the five-star review. Hi,

1:08:29

I'm JPC and I'm a

1:08:31

huge butt. Ha-ha, classic review.

1:08:33

You really got me with

1:08:35

that one anyway, moving on.

1:08:37

Aaron, Eddle, do you have

1:08:39

any affordable lawyers who would

1:08:41

like to plug? Timmise just

1:08:43

read the review. And then

1:08:46

all of all of a

1:08:48

sudden. Top Good music, and

1:08:50

then you say, Jupiter? And

1:08:52

then you're sure listening, you're

1:08:54

playing volleyball. I

1:09:03

guarantee you they probably in topic in

1:09:05

the first one and then she was

1:09:07

too old to be in the second

1:09:10

one get out of here people who

1:09:12

are old and who aren't men step

1:09:14

aside I guarantee you they probably in

1:09:17

topic in Maverick they probably cast like

1:09:19

Sydney Sweeney Sweeney and then someone was

1:09:21

like Can we get someone a little

1:09:24

older? Someone who's seen the other side

1:09:26

of 30 at least. Hey there Candies

1:09:28

and Grahams, if you like that, you're

1:09:31

going to love this week's Patreon. It's

1:09:33

Valentine's to improv from a high school.

1:09:35

You can listen to that plus our

1:09:38

entire back catalog at patreon.com such Hey

1:09:40

Riddle by joining the clue crew for

1:09:42

$5 a month or start your 70

1:09:45

free trial or the review crew for

1:09:47

$8 a month. Plus you get those

1:09:49

out-free episodes. See you get those out-free

1:09:52

episodes for episodes for episodes. That

1:09:56

was a headgum podcast