Episode Transcript
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0:00
This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedanta.
0:03
In 1863, a terrible plague
0:05
descended on the famed vineyards
0:08
of France. Tiny
0:10
sap-sucking insects attacked the roots
0:12
and leaves of grapevines. The
0:16
pests destroyed thousands of acres. What
0:21
turned the problem into a calamity was
0:24
that French vineyards were mainly planted
0:26
with a monoculture. A
0:28
single species of grape that had
0:31
little natural resistance to the insect
0:33
hordes. It
0:35
turns out that there are other kinds of
0:38
species, for example in the US, that were
0:40
not so affected, that developed natural resistance to
0:42
that pest. But that was not
0:44
the case of the French vineyard. This
0:48
is researcher Jourdy Quodbach. He
0:50
said the destruction continued for years and
0:52
threatened the very existence of the French
0:54
wine industry. Eventually
0:57
though, French winemakers found a solution,
1:01
adding diversity to the grapevines under
1:03
cultivation. They
1:07
started grafting their native vines onto
1:09
American plants, which had evolved to
1:11
resist the insects. By
1:14
increasing the biological variety of the plants,
1:17
the French wine industry rose again. The
1:22
The To
1:24
me, the takeaway of this story
1:27
is that by introducing more diversity,
1:31
you're actually making your environment more
1:33
resilient and more likely
1:35
to succeed in the long run. Today,
1:49
we extend this idea from ecology
1:51
to the world of psychology. Specifically,
1:54
we examine the effects of having
1:56
a variety of emotions in our
1:59
daily lives. This
2:04
episode is part of our Emotions 2.0
2:07
series. We've previously explored
2:09
the power of collective emotions, the
2:11
complicated psychology of pride, and the
2:14
benefits of mixed emotions. If
2:17
you missed any of those episodes, please listen to
2:19
them in this podcast feed. This
2:25
week on Hidden Brain, many of us go to great
2:27
lengths to be happy, reading books,
2:30
devouring podcasts, even joining
2:32
cults that promise to set us on
2:34
the path to joy and fulfillment. But
2:37
is our singular focus on positive
2:39
emotions actually good for us? Or
2:41
does it set us up for
2:44
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roberthalf.com today. Look
4:30
on the bright side. Accentuate the
4:32
positive. See the glass as
4:34
half full, not half empty. From
4:37
billboard signs to t-shirts with inspirational
4:39
messages, our culture has many ways
4:41
of telling us to banish negative
4:44
emotions from our lives. At
4:47
one level, this makes perfect sense. Being
4:50
sad and upset are unpleasant feelings.
4:52
As humans, we are wired to
4:55
seek the pleasant and avoid the
4:57
unpleasant. At
4:59
the Asadi Business and Law School
5:01
in Barcelona, Spain, psychologist Jordi Quadbach
5:03
has spent many years studying what
5:05
happens when we try to live
5:07
in an emotional monoculture. Jordi
5:10
Quadbach, welcome to Hidden Brain. Thank
5:13
you, Shankar. It's a pleasure to be here. A
5:17
number of years ago, Jordi, you
5:19
were hit with some powerful emotions around
5:21
the time that you and your wife
5:23
were starting a family. I understand that
5:25
you had long wanted to be a
5:27
dad? Yeah,
5:30
my partner, she got pregnant
5:32
and we were both excited about it and
5:35
sadly, you know, around three
5:37
months, she had a miscarriage.
5:41
So we were both devastated by the news,
5:45
but at the same time, it turns
5:47
out that on the following day, we
5:50
had been in invited to visit close
5:52
friends of ours that just had a
5:54
baby and so we were invited to meet the baby and
5:57
have dinner with them. I'm
6:00
wondering if you can describe for me what that
6:02
evening was like when you went over.
6:04
You're carrying this very heavy news in
6:06
your own hearts, but you're also there
6:08
to celebrate a very happy moment in
6:10
the lives of your friends. What was
6:12
that like that evening? It
6:16
was very difficult because, I mean, we had
6:18
just lost maybe not a baby,
6:20
but at least the prospect of a
6:22
baby, and we're there to celebrate their
6:24
newborn. And so we didn't want
6:27
to ruin their fun and their joy. And
6:30
so we just tried
6:32
very hard to change our emotions and to
6:34
be excited for them. I'm
6:43
wondering, did you bring up at all with your
6:45
friends what had happened to you and your partner?
6:48
So we didn't bring it up. We felt
6:51
that bringing this sad story on
6:54
a happy day for them would just
6:58
thought that it would ruin the mood. I
7:01
think we did a really good
7:04
job at suppressing these emotions to try
7:06
to be excited for our friends. And
7:09
that took a toll. And
7:13
I'm assuming you were actually genuinely happy
7:15
for your friends. I mean, that was also true. I
7:17
mean, you must have been very happy that your friends
7:19
had this newborn in their lives. Yeah,
7:22
we were very excited. And then the
7:24
newborn was absolutely cute and delightful. It's
7:26
hard not to feel warm, fuzzy feelings
7:28
when you have a newborn in your
7:30
home. So it was so
7:33
paradoxical what we were experiencing.
7:41
Jordy noticed that as he and his partner
7:43
suppressed their feelings, it changed the way they
7:46
behaved. I think it
7:48
prevented us from being fully present
7:50
that evening. Every
7:53
time a negative thought would
7:55
pop into my head, I would need to
7:58
step out of the present moment. and
8:01
exert some mental effort to ball
8:03
it down. So it was definitely like
8:05
a short term, sort of negative
8:08
effect of suppressing or sadness
8:11
sorrow. But I think there
8:13
was also longer term consequences
8:15
of that because it turns out that
8:17
on the following day, again, we could
8:19
not fully experience our sadness because
8:21
we had this trip planned to Japan with
8:24
a group of friends. And everybody was
8:26
super excited to go to Japan and we didn't
8:28
want to ruin the fun again for
8:31
everyone. So we did not share that
8:33
experience. And we went on a two
8:35
week vacation and we
8:39
didn't talk about what happened for
8:41
two weeks. So
8:44
you didn't tell the friends that you were on vacation with
8:47
what had happened? So
8:49
we didn't tell them what had happened,
8:51
but they also didn't almost talk about
8:54
the event between ourselves, me and my
8:56
partner. It's like we're
8:58
just trying to ignore our
9:00
feelings so that we could enjoy
9:03
our vacation. And
9:05
I recall that during the trip,
9:08
the mood between me and my partner was
9:11
not that great. So we were able
9:13
to sort of to showcase your friends,
9:15
excitement and for the Japanese adventures. But
9:18
we had a lot of like tiny
9:20
little conflicts and passive
9:22
aggressive interaction during the trip.
9:26
And in the following month, we
9:28
didn't talk about having another
9:30
shot at having a baby. It's
9:34
almost like because we did not allow
9:36
ourselves to experience the emotions. And
9:39
in a way that was now maybe too late
9:41
to have these emotions, it was a month later,
9:44
we couldn't fully process the event. And I think
9:46
it took me and her
9:49
probably three, four months before
9:52
we started talking about it. So
10:07
more recently, Jordi, a friend of yours
10:10
came to you with some painful feelings
10:12
of his own. Can you tell me
10:14
what he was distressed about? He
10:18
has a good friend of mine who had
10:20
moved out of love for his girlfriend
10:22
to Spain and had
10:24
a recent kid, a newborn, got
10:27
dumped out of the blue. And
10:29
he didn't really know why his
10:32
partner left him. He
10:35
was suspecting that she had met someone else.
10:38
That was sort of the only thing that made
10:40
sense for him. And so he was very suspicious,
10:42
very jealous. And he talked
10:44
about his suspicion and
10:46
sort of jealousy in
10:48
great length. My
10:51
reaction was sadly the typical
10:53
sort of bro reaction, trying
10:56
to say, like, look, you know, it's
10:58
probably not a big deal. She'll
11:00
probably be back. Don't worry about it.
11:02
Don't stress about it. There's no reason to be jealous
11:04
and so forth. And I even
11:07
sort of caught myself pulling my phone
11:10
and showing my friend this brand new
11:12
dating app that my students were talking
11:14
about, right? Trying to say, hey, planet
11:16
fishing the sea. And
11:19
that instead of hit me. I
11:21
was not at all listening to
11:23
his emotions. And
11:26
I was trying to provide solutions that
11:28
he didn't ask before. And
11:32
I'm wondering, Jordi, if you can just articulate
11:34
what you were trying to do for your friend
11:36
when you were trying to turn him out of
11:38
this blue mood and turn him
11:41
to more cheerful thoughts. What were you trying to
11:43
do? I
11:45
was naturally trying to make him
11:47
feel better. I thought that if
11:50
he could just ignore his jealousy,
11:52
rationalize his jealousy away and look
11:55
at the bright side, you know, all the
11:57
potential mates out there for him. that
12:00
would make him feel better and solve the
12:02
situation. I'm
12:12
wondering, did that have the same effect on him that you
12:14
thought it was gonna have? It
12:17
didn't. I
12:20
think he might've gotten
12:22
frustrated and he came back
12:24
repeating the same suspicion, the
12:26
same jealousy and so forth.
12:29
So I don't think we were really connecting
12:31
to each other. So
12:34
this makes me think about the 2004 movie, Eternal
12:37
Sunshine of the Sparkless Mind.
12:40
That movie also wrestles with similar
12:42
themes. In the movie, a
12:45
character named Joel, who's played by
12:47
Jim Carrey, is consumed by painful
12:49
emotions after breaking up with his
12:51
girlfriend Clementine, who's played by Kate
12:53
Winslet. That's when he hears
12:55
a doctor describe a potential treatment
12:57
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13:13
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13:15
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13:21
Joel goes through with the procedure and
13:23
I think a lot of people watching
13:26
the movie might imagine that they too
13:28
would choose to erase painful memories if
13:30
they had the choice. Why
13:32
do you think this fictional scenario is so
13:34
compelling to us, Jodi? Yeah,
13:37
I love the premise of the movie because it really
13:40
resonates with the natural tendency we have,
13:42
which is to avoid emotional pain, right?
13:45
And this is a very extreme version of
13:47
it, but I think in everyday life,
13:50
we do this kind of procedure
13:52
all the time. We drink sometimes
13:55
too much because we don't wanna feel
13:57
anxiety or sadness. We
14:01
avoid asking for a raise, even
14:03
though we should probably
14:05
ask for it because we don't want
14:07
to experience fear. And so there's many,
14:09
many ways in which we avoid
14:13
experiencing unpleasant emotions. And at the end
14:15
of the day, I think this
14:17
avoidance creates even more problems.
14:24
You raised a really interesting point just now, Jordi,
14:26
which is that we all in
14:28
some ways have our own internal surgical techniques
14:30
to remove these unpleasant emotions. We're
14:32
not using scalpel and lasers, but we
14:35
have these mechanisms to push these unpleasant
14:37
feelings away. We
14:39
do. And I think, you know,
14:41
most of the time, that's a healthy
14:43
way to deal with unpleasant feelings. Right.
14:45
So if I'm stressed before an
14:48
interview with you, Shankar, I might
14:50
watch a movie to sort
14:53
of distract myself from these unpleasant feelings.
14:55
And it's probably adaptive. I think the
14:57
problem is when we
14:59
chronically start avoiding unpleasant
15:01
feelings. As
15:04
I said, you know, it could be by
15:06
drinking, it would be by avoiding situations altogether.
15:10
And that's where you start to see that the
15:12
avoidance, experiential avoidance as
15:14
therapists call it, starts
15:16
to create even bigger problems than
15:19
the emotion itself. Jordi
15:29
and his partner thought the best thing to do
15:31
with their sadness was to push it away. When
15:34
a friend brought painful feelings to Jordi, he thought
15:36
the way to help was to highlight the positive.
15:39
The characters in Eternal Sunshine of the
15:42
Spotless Mind went so far as to
15:44
completely erase negative emotions from their memories.
15:52
When we come back, the value
15:54
of what psychologists call emotional diversity.
15:57
You're listening to Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar
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Dutt. Vedanta. Support
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t-mobile.com/now. This
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is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedanta. Given
17:57
the choice, most of us would rather feel
17:59
good then feel bad. But
18:01
could there be a reason to invite in all
18:03
kinds of emotions into our lives? At
18:07
a Sade Business and Law School
18:09
in Barcelona, Spain, psychologist Jordi Quodback
18:11
studies what happens when we stop
18:13
trying to keep unhappiness from entering
18:16
our lives. Jordi,
18:19
farmers and ecologists have long known
18:21
about the value of biodiversity in
18:23
nature. I understand that you have
18:25
borrowed this concept from biology and
18:27
applied it to the study of
18:29
human emotion. Tell me about the
18:32
idea of emotional diversity. So
18:35
emotional diversity or emo diversity as we
18:37
call it is the
18:39
richness and relative abundance of the
18:42
emotions that we experience every day.
18:45
And this really comes
18:47
from researching biology and ecology
18:50
showing that more diverse
18:54
environments, both in terms of
18:56
how many different kinds of species
18:58
there is, but also how evenly
19:00
distributed these species are in the
19:02
environment, tend to be more resilient.
19:05
So I started looking at
19:08
the way we could capture this
19:10
diversity and this idea of richness
19:12
and balance of emotion. And
19:14
it turns out that there are thousands
19:16
of papers in ecology that do
19:18
that. And the formulas and models
19:20
to capture biodiversity,
19:23
which you can apply to emotions. You
19:25
can see how
19:28
many emotions or what is
19:30
the intensity of the
19:32
most dominant emotions in
19:34
a person's life. Are
19:37
people experiencing a wide range of
19:39
emotions or is their
19:41
experience concentrated on a couple feelings?
19:45
I'm fascinated by the idea that you're
19:47
not just using the metaphor of
19:50
biological diversity. You're actually borrowing
19:52
from the science of biological
19:54
diversity here. Yeah,
19:57
we borrowed the tools of ecologists.
20:00
actually many different ways to
20:02
compute diversity and some ecologists
20:04
would focus on richness. That
20:06
is, how many different
20:08
types of species can I encounter
20:10
when I sample a forest for
20:12
two days? And
20:24
that could be, you know, the number of
20:26
distinct emotions that a person
20:29
experiences. Other ecologists might
20:31
be more concerned about the relative balance
20:33
or abundance of emotions, right? It
20:35
doesn't matter if there's like 10 different species, if 95%
20:38
of the individuals in the ecosystem
20:42
are from one species in particular.
20:49
And so you can start looking at these two
20:51
facets of diversity, and I think
20:53
that leads to also interesting insights when it comes to
20:55
our emotional life. So
21:03
you and your colleagues have used
21:05
these measures to study a large
21:07
number of volunteers, and you find
21:09
that having a greater range of
21:11
emotions can produce tangible effects. What
21:14
is the effect of emotional diversity
21:16
or emo diversity on physical health,
21:18
Jordi? So we got
21:20
access to the Belgian Social Security data,
21:23
and it turns out that every year
21:25
the Belgian government sends a survey asking
21:28
people all kinds of questions about
21:30
their health habits, their
21:33
medical consumption, and so forth, and they
21:35
also included a measure of emotions. And
21:37
what we found was that, you
21:40
know, beyond the average level
21:42
of positive or negative
21:44
emotions that people experience, the
21:47
richness and sort of the
21:49
evenness of their emotional
21:51
lives also predicted their
21:54
health. And in particular,
21:56
we found very tangible relationships
21:59
between... between emo diversity
22:02
and often people
22:04
went to the doctor. The
22:07
average consumption of drugs
22:09
and prescriptions that they had that
22:11
year. The number of days
22:13
they spent at the hospital. So this
22:15
was not self-reported health. This was data
22:18
that was quantified by the insurance company
22:20
in the Belgian government. I
22:23
understand, Jory, that your research has examined
22:26
the effects of emotional diversity on mental
22:28
health. What have you found? So
22:31
for mental health, we found similar effects. We
22:33
find that people with more diverse emotional lives
22:36
tend to report lower levels of
22:39
depression. One thing that really surprised
22:41
us in the results is that
22:43
it's not only experiencing a broad
22:45
range of positive emotions, but
22:48
it was also the case for negative emotions alone.
22:51
So negative
22:53
emotion diversity was also a
22:57
predictor of mental health. In
22:59
other words, imagine that you experienced
23:01
like three hours of negative emotions
23:03
this week. Well, it seems
23:05
that it might be better off for you to
23:08
experience one hour of sadness, one
23:10
hour of anxiety, and one hour of
23:13
anger, than three hours of
23:15
one of this emotion alone, right? Three hours
23:17
of sadness or three hours of anger only.
23:21
Besides these effects on physical and mental
23:24
health, you've also examined how the experience
23:26
of emotional diversity shapes
23:28
how people make decisions. Tell
23:31
me about this research, that's fascinating. This
23:34
is very recent work from my lab,
23:36
and we find that people experience greater
23:38
emotion diversity tend to make better decisions.
23:40
So for example, if you recruit participants,
23:43
and we asked them to report
23:46
a current choice that they were facing, a
23:48
decision they needed to make in the next
23:50
couple days. And people wrote
23:52
about all kinds of things from what
23:54
elective to choose, to their choice of
23:56
roommate, their choice of romantic partners, and
23:59
so forth. And then in one condition,
24:01
we said, what's the main emotion that
24:03
you're experiencing here? And give
24:06
us three reasons why you feel that way. In
24:09
the other condition, the high-emodiversity condition, you said
24:11
like, what are three
24:13
distinct emotions that you experience while
24:16
considering this decision? And
24:18
then we let them be for two weeks and
24:20
we call them back. And we say, what did
24:22
you end up deciding and how satisfied
24:24
are you with your decision? People
24:27
we had asked to contemplate many emotions
24:30
were actually more satisfied with what they
24:32
ended up choosing. And
24:34
it's not only personal choices. We've
24:36
replicated these findings with objective measures
24:39
of decision-making quality. So you can
24:41
see how biased they are in
24:43
terms of confirmation bias. And
24:46
it turns out that when people are
24:48
asked to write down three
24:50
distinct emotions that they feel when
24:53
considering the decision, they end up
24:55
being less biased. And
24:57
we also find that people who
25:00
have, you know, higher-emodiversity
25:06
tend to be more satisfied with
25:08
their lives, also suggesting that they might
25:11
be making better choices. I'd
25:25
like to look at some of the reasons
25:27
why emotional diversity might have these benefits. In
25:30
nature, Jordi, in ecology,
25:32
we know that diverse environments are
25:34
a source of resilience. Do we
25:36
find the same thing in our
25:39
psychological lives? That's
25:41
one intriguing possibility, right? It could
25:44
be that having a
25:46
diverse emotional life prevents
25:49
one single emotion from dominating our
25:51
mental life, right? So if you're
25:54
feeling sad and angry, it
25:57
might be less pleasant. But
26:01
that anger might prevent you
26:03
from spiraling down into inaction
26:05
and depression. And I think
26:08
the same analogy goes maybe for positive
26:10
emotions, right? So we know that we're
26:13
extremely prone to adapt to positive things
26:15
that happen into our lives. But
26:17
if our positive emotions are diverse,
26:20
you go on that vacation and
26:22
you experience, you know, gratitude and
26:24
amusement and awe and all kinds
26:26
of positive feelings and love. This
26:29
might also make it more resilient to the
26:32
donic adaptation of emotions. So
26:43
in other words, if you're having a range of
26:45
different positive emotions, you're less likely to get used
26:47
to any one of those positive emotions. And if
26:50
you're having presumably a mix of positive and negative
26:52
emotions, you know, your plane is
26:54
delayed and that's a source of frustration. But
26:56
when you get to your destination, it's really
26:58
awe-inspiring. The fact that you are stuck on
27:01
the plane on the tarmac for three hours
27:03
now makes the mountain even more beautiful because
27:05
you had to pay a price to actually
27:07
get there. That's exactly the
27:10
idea. And interestingly, we're doing some
27:12
field research right now with high-end
27:15
restaurants in Norway. And
27:17
we're experimenting with inducing emotions
27:19
during the meal. So
27:21
this is a crazy restaurant where they have
27:23
a planetarium dome-like ceiling.
27:25
And so you can project
27:29
movies that induce some
27:31
sort of emotions while people are having
27:33
dinner. Just to give you
27:35
an example, you might eat chicken sewers and
27:38
at the same time they're projecting a chicken
27:40
slaughter factory, which is, you know, very disturbing.
27:42
And what we find was that if all
27:44
the sceneries and videos are pleasant, people have
27:47
a great meal, but
27:49
they're much less likely to sort of
27:51
remember it and talk about it and
27:53
want to repeat the experience, that if
27:55
we inject negative emotions into
27:57
the experience and like a disgusting ceiling. in
28:00
a seven
28:02
or eight course meal. I
28:04
mean, in some ways there's a connection here
28:07
almost with cuisine itself, right? So imagine a
28:09
dish that has only salt in it or
28:11
a dish that has only pepper in it.
28:13
That's gonna be a much more boring dish
28:16
than a dish in fact that has a
28:18
variety of different tastes in it. And in
28:20
some ways it makes sense that a range
28:23
of different emotions actually as we're eating can
28:25
actually heighten the richness of our meals. Absolutely.
28:29
Variety is the spice of life, as
28:31
they say. What's
28:41
the connection between emotional diversity
28:43
and authenticity, Jordi? Yeah,
28:47
another possibility is that emo
28:50
diversity is almost like a byproduct
28:54
of adaptive personality traits.
28:56
So people are open
28:58
to experience, they're open to
29:00
feelings, they're authentic,
29:04
they have some sort of self-awareness of
29:06
what's going on in their lives might
29:08
be more keen on reporting a broader
29:10
range of emotions. That's
29:13
interesting, but to me, that
29:15
doesn't fully explain why
29:17
when we get people to think
29:20
about different emotions that they're experiencing
29:22
in a situation, we see effects
29:24
on their decision-making and they're making
29:26
better decisions. So another
29:30
possibility, and
29:32
that's my personal maybe favorite,
29:36
is that emotions are messengers.
29:39
Emotions really
29:42
are information about what's going on
29:44
in our lives and what we should do
29:47
next. And by
29:49
experiencing a broader range of emotion,
29:51
we have more flexibility in
29:53
choosing what to do next. And we choose
29:56
wiser. So to
29:58
give you an example, right? If I'm
30:02
feeling extremely proud of myself, I
30:04
just achieve something at work. Pride
30:07
might motivate me to work even harder,
30:09
to take on a new project, to
30:12
achieve even more. If I'm
30:14
feeling grateful, that might be the opposite, right?
30:17
When I give credit to other people, and my
30:19
gratitude might motivate me to express
30:21
my thanks to other people. In
30:24
both cases, if I only
30:26
have one emotion, I might work myself too
30:28
hard and exhaust myself down the line, or
30:31
I might always sort of put myself
30:33
in the background, never take a chance
30:35
to maybe take
30:38
the lead on a project and take credit for
30:40
the work that I do. But if I experience
30:42
the two, my
30:44
response might be more adapted and flexible,
30:46
right? I might take on new challenges
30:48
while acknowledging the team, if you see
30:51
what I mean. I
31:05
mean, I love the metaphor of emotions
31:08
as messengers, Jordi. And I'm thinking about
31:10
somebody who might be a president or
31:12
a prime minister, and you're sitting in
31:14
your office, and messengers are coming
31:17
to you from different parts of your country
31:19
with messages about what's happening in your country.
31:21
But you're the kind of president or prime
31:23
minister who doesn't want to hear negative news.
31:25
And so you kill all of those messengers,
31:27
and you only listen to the people who
31:29
are telling you how great everything is, that
31:31
can make you feel good in the present,
31:34
but it has a real risk, because at
31:36
this point now, you're completely blindsided to any
31:38
problems that you're having in your country, and
31:40
that might make your reign somewhat short-lived. That's
31:44
an excellent analogy, and I want to take it one
31:46
step further. So it's not only
31:48
just like listening to the positive news and
31:50
not the negative messenger, but it's
31:52
also, are you always listening to the
31:54
same messenger among the ones
31:56
that bring you positive news, or are you
31:59
listening to everything? one. Jordi,
32:02
you also say that another reason
32:04
emotional diversity might be beneficial is
32:06
that well-differentiated emotional states can give
32:08
us more precise information about the
32:10
world. What do you mean by
32:13
this? Well,
32:15
imagine that, you know, something bad happens,
32:18
maybe at work, a colleague
32:20
made a comment and you're not feeling
32:23
great about it. If you're just
32:25
feeling bad, it doesn't
32:28
really tell you much about how you should react,
32:30
right? But if you pause and
32:32
you ask yourself, okay, I'm feeling bad, but how
32:35
bad? Like, what is it? Am
32:37
I irritated? Am I, you know,
32:39
sad? Am I envious
32:42
of that colleague? Like, what is it? No,
32:45
depending on the answer and the specific
32:47
feeling, you have options
32:49
to respond. If it's frustration,
32:52
you might confront the person.
32:55
If it's sadness, you might do something
32:57
that tears you up, you know, you
33:00
have more flexibility. I
33:02
mean, and it's interesting, I think, when we
33:04
talk about our emotions, we often have this
33:06
tendency to lump all of the
33:09
positive emotions and all of the negative emotions
33:11
into one bucket. You know, someone asks
33:13
you how you're doing, you say, I feel great, or you
33:15
say, you know, I'm not feeling great. And
33:17
of course, what you lose with that is that
33:19
you're actually collapsing probably a dozen
33:21
different emotions into one bucket without actually
33:24
looking to see what specific messages am
33:26
I getting from the different emotions. Absolutely.
33:29
I mean, take fear and anger.
33:31
They've been studied quite a bit
33:33
in judgment and decision making. They've
33:36
opposite effect on, or tendencies
33:38
to act, right? So if
33:41
you're experiencing fear, you might be more
33:43
risk averse. You
33:46
are more cautious in your estimate. If
33:49
you're experiencing anger, you tend to take
33:51
more risk. You tend to be more
33:53
confident in your judgment. So
33:56
they're both unpleasant emotions, but they're
33:58
completely different. action tendencies. And I
34:00
think by being able to sort
34:03
of explore was
34:05
a lot of precision, what we're
34:07
experiencing, we know
34:09
have a better, we have better material
34:12
to make a decision. Our
34:18
emotions aren't just there to be felt. The
34:21
reasons we have emotions in the first place is
34:23
that they are designed to shape our behavior. When
34:28
we come back, how to use emotions, both good
34:30
and bad, to help us move to what we
34:32
most want in life. You're
34:37
listening to Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedanta.
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What comes to mind when
35:56
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36:56
This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedanta. When
37:00
someone comes to you with a tale of woe and
37:02
wants to share why they are sad, is
37:05
your first impulse to hear them out or
37:07
to fix the problem to make them less sad? Many
37:11
of us, with the best of intentions,
37:13
try to make our partners and friends
37:16
feel less sad, but
37:18
psychologist Jordi Quodbach says we
37:20
may be making a mistake. Jordi,
37:23
you say that rather than suppress or
37:25
deny our negative feelings, we should use
37:27
these emotions as sources of information.
37:30
Now, one way to do this
37:32
is to examine the different strains
37:34
that our emotions come in to
37:36
identify multiple distinct emotions. Back
37:38
in your grad school days, I understand that a
37:40
friend of yours once helped you to do this. Can
37:42
you tell me that story, Jordi? So
37:46
back in grad school, I had what
37:48
I thought was the brilliant idea to
37:50
use the university internet to advertise one
37:53
of my studies. So I sent an
37:55
email to the mailing list asking
37:58
for volunteers to participate in my studies. survey.
38:00
Now that mailing list went to
38:02
everyone from the dean to the
38:04
head of departments to the janitor,
38:06
5,000 workers at
38:09
the university. And I
38:11
published my survey but it wasn't working. I could
38:13
not get any sort of confirmation
38:15
message that the email was sent
38:17
so I clicked press again and
38:20
again and again and I
38:22
did it probably like nine or ten times before
38:24
I gave up. I
38:31
went to bed and the next morning
38:33
I opened my inbox and
38:35
there were like 300 and something angry
38:38
emails from professors, top
38:41
executives in the school, you
38:44
know, complaining about me harassing
38:46
them and being really nasty
38:48
about it and I felt
38:50
terrible. So
39:00
in other words, all the messages actually did go out?
39:03
All the messages did go out and
39:05
so 5,000 people working
39:07
at the universities at all level had
39:09
received 10 messages of me asking them
39:11
to participate in my survey and
39:14
I was this, you know, young grad
39:16
student. It felt horrible. And
39:22
you know some of these messages
39:24
were nasty. I remember one top
39:28
medical professor sending me 10
39:32
angry messages in a row. Oh my god. Just
39:34
sort of as a payback. And
39:37
so I started spending hours and hours
39:39
that they're replying to every single angry
39:41
email apologizing trying to explain that I
39:43
didn't do it on purpose and I
39:45
was so sorry to waste their time
39:47
and so forth and
39:49
I was feeling extremely guilty and
39:51
that guilt was sort of motivating
39:54
me to try to repair my
39:56
mistake by apologizing over
39:59
and over. to all of these emails.
40:02
Now, later that night, I
40:05
went for dinner with a friend who was
40:07
a psychiatrist. And I
40:09
was telling him the story. And he did
40:11
the math. He's like, Jordy, there's 5,000 people roughly working
40:14
at the university. You got over
40:17
300 emails of people complaining.
40:20
That's about the prevalence of
40:22
psychopath in the general population. So,
40:24
you know? And
40:30
it sort of hit me.
40:34
It's like these people emailing me,
40:37
they're emailing a poor grad student to
40:40
insult him because they
40:42
had wasted five seconds to put
40:46
my messages in their trash box. It
40:49
didn't make any sense. And so
40:51
I think I went from guilt
40:53
to experiencing mainly anger towards these
40:55
professors. And that
40:57
changed everything. Because guilt motivated
40:59
me to apologize and spend
41:01
hours engaging with
41:03
some of these people would reply
41:06
back, still angry, and so forth.
41:08
But no anger was motivating me
41:10
to do something else, which is
41:12
like, screw these people. So
41:14
I wrote a short email to the
41:16
rector apologizing, promising I
41:18
would never use the mailing list
41:21
again to recruit participants. And
41:23
turned off my computer for a week. And
41:27
life went on. There was no
41:29
negative consequences. And probably if
41:31
I had engaged with all these
41:33
angry people one by one, the
41:35
negative consequences would have lasted much
41:37
longer. So
41:40
this is a really powerful example from
41:42
your life, Jordi. But I'm wondering, what
41:45
advice would you have for listeners in
41:47
terms of how they can identify the
41:49
different emotions they might be experiencing in
41:52
any given situation? Or even perhaps the
41:54
different emotions they might be justified in
41:56
experiencing in any given situation? ask
42:00
ourselves two powerful questions. The first one
42:02
is what flavor of
42:07
emotion am I experiencing right now? Right?
42:09
I'm feeling bad. What flavor of bad?
42:12
Well, I'm annoyed. Okay. What flavor
42:14
of annoyed? Well,
42:18
I'm irritated. All
42:20
right. Then the second
42:22
question is what else am I experiencing?
42:24
Is this just irritation? Hmm. Well,
42:29
no, I'm also a little bit proud of what
42:31
I did. And
42:33
I guess I'm irritated. I'm not being recognized
42:35
for what I did. Okay.
42:37
So now we have more information to work
42:39
with. No, I went
42:41
from feeling bad to having two
42:43
feelings, you know, pride and annoyance,
42:46
and I can act on these feelings probably
42:48
a more flexible
42:50
and adaptive way than
42:52
if I just stuck with, you know, I'm
42:55
not feeling good. You
43:08
know, I once took a drawing class
43:10
many years ago and the instructor told
43:12
us that the most important thing in
43:14
drawing was to be able to see what
43:16
it is that we were actually drawing that most of us
43:18
look at a tree and we see a tree. But a
43:20
tree, of course, is not just a tree. You
43:23
know, it's a, it's a set of physical
43:25
structures. It has shape, but it also has
43:27
light. It has texture. It has color and
43:30
your ability to see the tree in all
43:32
of its granularity really predicts whether you can
43:34
actually draw the tree. And in many cases,
43:36
the reason we don't draw as well as
43:39
we could is we're not seeing the world
43:41
with the granularity with which we could see
43:43
the world. So part of becoming an artist
43:45
actually involves getting better site, if
43:48
you will. And I think what I'm hearing
43:50
you say is that part of being emotionally
43:52
healthier is to actually have the same kind
43:54
of site when it comes to our emotional
43:56
lives. You
43:59
know, one thing is to. to have a
44:01
wide range of emotions, that's breath. But I
44:03
think we also want some
44:05
depth into our emotion. And we wanna
44:07
be able to be very, very granular,
44:09
very precise in the
44:11
way we experience things so
44:13
that we can have more
44:17
information on what's the best course of action.
44:20
Emotions prepare us for action, right?
44:24
So anger prepares you to
44:26
fight the wrongdoing and
44:28
to stand for your right. Fear
44:31
prepares you to be cautious and take
44:33
a step back. Sadness prepares you to
44:35
sort of, again, slow
44:38
down and reflect. And so
44:40
if we're able to experience
44:42
different emotions, then we also experience
44:45
the different action tendencies that goes
44:47
with these emotions. And they
44:49
might be upsetting each other, right? Anger
44:52
might take us too far, sadness might take
44:54
us too far. But combined,
44:56
it's kind of a wisdom of
44:59
the crowd. If you think about
45:01
information, right? Each individual
45:04
emotion might be biased, but together,
45:07
when we sort of average the information they bring,
45:10
it's pretty accurate. Jordi
45:21
says that one way to develop
45:23
our capacity for emotional granularity is
45:25
to expand our vocabulary of feeling
45:27
words. This might include
45:29
borrowing words from other languages. One
45:32
of his favorites is the phrase, Mono
45:34
no Aware, which he picked up while
45:36
in Japan. It's a term,
45:38
he says, that captures the feeling we
45:40
have when looking at something beautiful but
45:42
fleeting, like the blooms on a
45:44
cherry tree in the spring. So
45:47
imagine watching the cherry blossom and it
45:49
lasts only for a few days. This
45:52
sort of realization that
45:54
the world is
45:56
constantly changing and there's beauty in
45:58
the change. And
46:01
that concept, actually, know that I have
46:03
a word for it, makes
46:06
me pay a lot more attention to my
46:08
walks into the park in autumn and the
46:10
leaves and so forth, because now
46:12
I have an emotion word for it. Yeah.
46:15
There's another emotion word from Dutch,
46:17
and I'm gonna butcher the name,
46:19
but Utwind, which
46:23
is this feeling of being
46:26
refreshed and that
46:28
your worries are being blown away by
46:30
strong wind and rain. So
46:34
that's really an emotion that resonates with me. And as
46:36
a matter of fact, a few
46:39
weeks ago, I was on my
46:41
bicycle when a thunderstorm hit, and
46:44
it was pouring rain and the
46:47
battery died. So I was soaked
46:50
wet with this super
46:52
heavy bike uphill, and
46:55
I was about to think that this was the worst
46:57
day ever when a little
47:00
voice in my head is like, oh, this is
47:02
really, it's wind, you know, like the wind,
47:04
the rain on my face, and
47:09
that changed my experience. I
47:11
went from being pissed to being like, hey,
47:14
I'm being completely refreshed by the
47:16
storm. So I think
47:18
learning new emotion concepts can really
47:21
change the way we approach situations.
47:33
Your research has also found that interacting
47:35
with a diverse group
47:37
of people can have effects on
47:40
our emotional states. Tell me about
47:42
this work, Jordi. So
47:45
in this study, we track people again with
47:48
smartphones, and we asked them who they were
47:50
interacting with and what was their mood. And
47:52
what we find was that the
47:55
diversity of social interactions that people
47:57
had, right? So if you think
47:59
about having... five hours of social
48:01
interaction, are you spending these five
48:03
hours with only a couple people?
48:05
Are you spending these hours with
48:07
different categories of people, relatives, friends,
48:10
acquaintances, co-workers, and so forth. And
48:13
controlling for the sheer amount of
48:15
time we spend socializing, which is
48:17
good for our happiness, we
48:19
also found that the diversity of our social
48:22
portfolio predicted higher
48:24
wellbeing. And part
48:26
of the reason, again, at least, when
48:29
we look at the statistical sort
48:31
of data, is that a
48:33
more diverse set of friends and
48:36
social relationship might bring us a
48:38
more diverse set of emotion as
48:40
well. So people who have more
48:42
diverse social portfolios also report more
48:44
emotion diversity in everyday life. Yeah,
48:46
so in other words, you could have a conversation
48:49
with a work colleague and maybe that conversation
48:51
is frustrating because you're working on something difficult,
48:53
but you have a conversation then with a
48:55
friend and you'd recall a happy time from
48:57
your childhood. And going through these different social
49:00
relationships in some ways is allowing you to
49:02
dip into different kinds of emotions. Absolutely,
49:05
and it's not just social interactions.
49:08
Other research from other labs show
49:10
that the diversity of activities that we
49:12
engage in every day is also directly
49:14
linked to the diversity of emotion we
49:16
experience, right? So the more different kind
49:18
of things that you do in everyday
49:21
life, the more likely you are to
49:23
experience different flavors of emotion. Some
49:26
years ago, Jordy got to see
49:28
firsthand the benefits of emotional diversity.
49:31
He had been recruited by French television to
49:33
run a live experiment where he tried
49:35
to make six unhappy people happier through
49:38
verified scientific techniques. Well,
49:41
I was extremely stressed that I'd never been
49:43
on TV, but I made
49:46
it, they gave me the part. And
49:48
so I moved to France for two months to shoot
49:50
the show. And it
49:53
was a disaster. I was extremely
49:55
self-conscious of my Belgian accent. The
49:57
Parisian cast crew... made
50:00
comments all the time. They made me
50:02
redo the takes because I was not
50:04
pronouncing the provision way some of the
50:07
words. And I
50:09
was very, very anxious. And
50:11
my coping strategy was to work harder.
50:14
And so I was alone in my
50:16
hotel room, you know, every night practicing
50:19
the lines that we're going to say,
50:21
thinking about ways to make
50:24
psychological intervention visually appealing on TV,
50:27
you know, turns out that filming
50:29
people meditating for half an hour
50:31
is not very exciting television. So
50:36
I was very stressed about trying to make this
50:38
show a success and not look foolish on television.
50:41
And I worked myself harder and harder
50:44
every day. It didn't
50:46
really help to be honest. I
50:48
was still anxious on set, still to
50:51
do retakes after retakes. And
50:53
then at some point my partner visited
50:56
me. So she was in New York
50:59
and she visited me in France,
51:01
sort of out of the blue, and she
51:03
had planned a little surprise romantic getaway in
51:06
a nearby village. So I
51:08
was really torn because on the one hand, I
51:10
wanted to work even more. Like I knew I
51:12
was in great onset. On
51:14
the other hand, she had planned that surprise and
51:16
there's no way I could tell her that I
51:19
needed to work that weekend. So
51:21
reluctantly I went and
51:25
with a lovely weekend, lovely
51:27
sceneries, good wine, that
51:30
was great. When
51:32
I came back on
51:34
the following Monday on set, I was anxious because
51:36
I had not prepared. I had not rehearsed the
51:38
way I would typically rehearse. And
51:41
I shot the scene ready
51:43
to hear, complaints from the
51:45
director. But then the
51:47
director looked at me and said, Jordy, you nailed it.
51:51
This was fantastic. And the crew also
51:53
thought it was great. And they're like,
51:55
something has changed, Jordy. And of course,
51:57
being Parisian, French, they made dirty jokes.
52:00
and speculated it was due to my romantic
52:02
activities over the weekend. But
52:05
I think that
52:07
was not really it. I think what
52:09
I'd done is that I'd replenished my emotional
52:12
bank account in a way. I'd added
52:14
some happiness back and now that gave
52:16
me the energy to deliver
52:19
the lines better, to think more
52:21
creatively about how to set up the
52:23
scene and so forth. You
52:33
know, Jordi, I'm thinking about this idea
52:35
that I think comes from Buddhism,
52:38
which is the idea that when an emotion
52:41
appears in our hearts,
52:43
we should almost treat it like a
52:45
guest who's appearing at our house. And
52:47
according to this idea, you know, when
52:50
anger shows up at your house, instead
52:52
of closing the door to anger and
52:54
saying, I don't want you, go away,
52:56
you actually open the
52:58
door to your anger and invite the anger
53:01
in as you would invite in an honored
53:03
guest. And you would sit the guests down and you
53:05
would tell the guest, you know, good to see you.
53:07
Thank you for visiting my home. Tell me what you
53:10
have in mind. What do you have to share? And
53:12
in some ways, that metaphor of
53:14
thinking about our emotions as honored guests,
53:16
I feel meshes really well with the
53:19
idea that you're talking about here, which
53:21
is in some ways, being curious about
53:23
the emotions that visit us, not just
53:25
simply being reactive to them, but being
53:27
curious about them, allows us
53:30
to understand what the emotions are
53:32
actually trying to tell us. I
53:34
love that idea, Shankar. And I will add
53:36
that, you know, not only you treat
53:39
a guest right, and you listen to them and
53:41
you treat them nicely, but also
53:43
a guest is not a permanent resident. You know
53:45
that the guest at some point will leave. And
53:48
so you listen to the guest, but at the end
53:50
of the day, you choose how you want to react,
53:53
rather than according the emotion too
53:55
much weight. I
54:03
love that so much, Jordi, because I feel like
54:05
the two things we often end up doing when
54:07
negative emotions appear is we either try and shut
54:09
the door to the negative emotion and say, don't
54:11
enter my house. Or we open
54:14
the door and allow the emotion in some ways
54:16
to sweep us off and assume that the guest
54:18
now owns the house and runs our
54:20
life. And in some ways you're saying that both
54:23
of those in some ways are maladaptive. Absolutely.
54:27
And if we push the analogy a
54:29
bit further, the more
54:31
guests you have at the party, the
54:35
less attention you're going to pay to one
54:37
individual guest. You're taking care of everyone, and
54:39
it's great, and you're having lots of interesting
54:42
ideas from everyone. But the
54:44
more guests you have at your party, the
54:46
less likely there are to take over. Jordi
55:03
Quadbach is a psychologist at Assade
55:06
Business and Law School in Barcelona, Spain.
55:08
Jordi, thank you so much for joining me today on Hidden
55:10
Brain. Thank you, Shankar. It
55:13
was my pleasure. Do
55:20
you have follow-up questions for Jordi Quadbach about
55:22
how we respond to our emotions? If
55:24
you'd be willing to share your question with a
55:27
Hidden Brain audience, please find a quiet space and
55:29
record a voice memo on your phone. You
55:32
can email it to us at
55:34
ideas at hiddenbrain.org. That
55:37
email address again is ideas
55:39
at hiddenbrain.org. Hidden
55:42
Brain is produced by Hidden Brain Media. Our
55:46
audio production team includes Annie
55:48
Murphy-Paugh, Kristin Wong, Laura Quirell,
55:50
Ryan Katz, Autumn Barnes, Andrew
55:52
Chadwick, and Nick Woodbury. Tara
55:55
Boyle is our executive producer. I'm
55:57
Hidden Brain's executive editor. If
56:01
you enjoyed today's conversation, be sure to check
56:03
out all the episodes in our Emotions 2.0
56:05
series. You
56:07
can find them right here in this
56:10
podcast feed or at our website, hiddenbrain.org.
56:14
Next week on the show, we conclude
56:16
our series with a look at the
56:18
white-hot emotion of rage. I'm
56:21
Sean Carveda-Atom. See
56:34
you soon. Support
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