0:00

That was Sunny and

0:02

the Black Pack. Thank

0:04

you. Oh, Sunny and

0:06

the Black Pack. And

0:09

today we have Jason

0:11

Sklar on one of

0:14

my favorite comedians and

0:16

friend of mine. I've

0:19

known him for, am

0:21

I out of focus?

0:24

It doesn't matter. That's how I start.

0:26

I always start out of focus. But

0:28

Jason is here and thanks for coming.

0:30

It's good to be here and I

0:32

love Sunny and the Black Pack. They're

0:34

my favorite Spotify band. Everything I listen

0:36

to goes back to that. I've been

0:39

a fan of theirs forever and as

0:41

I said to them, I'm so happy

0:43

that their make-of-wish is working out. I

0:45

know they have six weeks to live

0:47

and I know that their chance to

0:49

play. as we walked in the door

0:51

was the wish they made at the

0:54

hospital and I'm glad it's working

0:56

out. That's so nice. Isn't it? I

0:58

wanted to start off on a nice

1:01

note and I do. I hate pulling

1:03

up the curtain on the wizard and

1:05

I don't want to do that. Well,

1:08

speaking of pulling up the curtain on

1:10

the wizard, I have, when I heard

1:12

that you were coming today, I plan

1:14

the surprise for you. And that

1:17

surprise is coming in right now.

1:19

You're an asshole. I'm an asshole.

1:21

I think he's talking to me.

1:23

No. What? No. I'm not an

1:25

asshole. I just... Why am I

1:28

an asshole? Because... He knows what

1:30

he... Because... Can I just say?

1:32

Yeah. Just defer the people.

1:34

Randy was on our

1:37

podcast, what, how many months

1:39

ago? Like five months ago.

1:41

That you guys may have

1:43

the same father. My dad was

1:45

a traveling salesman sold alteration

1:48

supplies and Velcro and then

1:50

he just when he was

1:53

on the road he wound up. Yeah,

1:55

I mean look look The facial features

1:57

are undeniable. I mean there

1:59

So yeah, we might have had

2:01

the same father. You're a dick for

2:03

doing this. Fine, you know what? I'll

2:06

stay. I'll stay because I'm a professional.

2:08

I'll do this. Talk amongst yourselves. Maury

2:10

Mandel. Maury Mandel. You don't have to

2:12

tell that story. You don't have to

2:15

tell that story. You know that that's

2:17

not... I told you that I didn't

2:19

want that story out there and then

2:21

you go on a podcast and you

2:24

tell that story. So I'm not allowed

2:26

to talk about my life and what

2:28

things about my life and what things

2:30

happen to talk about my life and

2:33

what things happen to me, and what

2:35

things happen to me, You guys are

2:37

asking me personal, you know, how many

2:39

times do I go out on stage?

2:42

So I want to do I perform

2:44

and I don't bring that story up.

2:46

I understand, but like when you get

2:48

on a podcast, you're supposed to talk,

2:51

is it a whole corner of my

2:53

life I'm not allowed to talk about?

2:55

I just, whatever, it's fine. We look

2:57

a lot of like, you do. And

2:59

so like. I know people have been

3:02

asking about it the whole time. I

3:04

don't see it. People are always asking

3:06

about are you guys related in some

3:08

way? Take off your glasses. See? I

3:11

don't know. Put them back on. See?

3:13

Now I see it more, but that's

3:15

just because I can see better. Just

3:17

it's like remember when, remember when club

3:20

Shea, like. They're just always, like, that

3:22

was like a series of comedians who

3:24

would come on and just rip the

3:26

hell out of everybody. Yeah, right, and

3:29

Cat Williams talked shit about us. I

3:31

was a little sad that Cat Williams

3:33

didn't talk shit about, but this is

3:35

now becoming the podcast where this happens.

3:38

Where we bring people together. Based on

3:40

Father's Who Philandered around. For Landered? Yeah.

3:42

He's a Philandroprist. A philanthropist. He don't

3:44

eat a lot of spurty. He did

3:46

it. He did it for charity. He

3:49

did it for charity. To youth at

3:51

risk. Right. All right. You know, this

3:53

is, thank you. Thank you. That was

3:55

Sunny in the black pack. Thank you.

3:58

I call them Sunny and the African-American

4:00

back, but that's me. I call them

4:02

six weeks to live, and I love

4:04

them. I love them. I love them.

4:07

If your band was called Six Weeks

4:09

to Live, just think about how many

4:11

people would come out to your show.

4:13

That's such a hardcore name for a

4:16

band. Sunny, you consider, are you to

4:18

consider changing your name, Sunny? Sunny? Absolutely

4:20

not. Six weeks to be in smart

4:22

reverb on Sunny's mic. That's not even

4:25

his mic. Oh my god. He's already

4:27

passed away. Because Sunny sounds like a

4:29

ghost. He's coming at us from the

4:31

great. Are you broadcasting from way beyond?

4:33

I love it. That's how even when

4:36

he's not on the mic. That's how

4:38

he sounds like. That's what he sounds

4:40

like. I love that you're just getting

4:42

Amazon package. Maybe he's a thought in

4:45

your mind. He's not real. We just

4:47

hit 100,000. Hey! Thank you. That's so

4:49

good. Thank you. Not bad. Not bad.

4:51

Not bad. I love that we, and

4:54

we were the ones to put you

4:56

over the top. Thank you so much.

4:58

And you know what? I wouldn't want

5:00

to accept it with, I can think

5:03

of a better guest to have on

5:05

when the shows up. And me, thank

5:07

you. Look at how excited your daughter

5:09

is. I don't get it. You don't

5:12

understand. It means we're good, Dad. Are

5:14

you happy to do this with me?

5:16

Sometimes. It's about family. Not today. Don't

5:18

say that they're here. I haven't decided

5:20

yet. Can I just say something? First

5:23

of all, you guys are hysterical and

5:25

I've been fans for a long time.

5:27

I've been. Well, I fan. When you're

5:29

talking to brothers, I always had an

5:32

S. Sure. That's fine. I don't know

5:34

how to deal with brothers and to

5:36

be honest with you. I really don't.

5:38

Did you just have sisters? Anyway,

5:41

we're gonna have a brother. We're

5:43

actually gonna bring him in right

5:45

now. Well, here's it. You know,

5:47

and I don't know if I'm

5:49

pouring salt on a wound. Yeah.

5:51

But this has been a hellish

5:53

week for me. I'm sorry. Because

5:55

you do know, I mean, obviously.

5:57

Yeah. The whole Bill Bert. Are

5:59

you friends with Bill? Yes, love

6:01

him. Love him. Love him. I'm

6:03

not asking if you're a fan.

6:05

I'm asking if you're friends. We

6:07

are friends with you. Like enough?

6:09

Like can you use to be

6:11

too? Would I call him and

6:14

be like, let's go hang out?

6:16

And would he say yes? I

6:18

don't know. Yes. I think he

6:20

would. So not you, but him.

6:22

No. I think he would. But

6:24

not ready. I think he would.

6:26

You know, I did hang out

6:28

of them at a party with

6:30

him and a party with him

6:32

and his wife and his wife

6:34

and his wife and with he

6:36

and his wife and with he

6:38

and his wife and with he

6:40

and his wife and with he

6:42

and his wife and his wife

6:44

and he and his wife and

6:46

he and he and his wife

6:48

and his wife and he and

6:50

he and he and his wife

6:52

and he and his wife and

6:54

he and he and he and

6:56

his wife and he and he

6:58

and he and his wife and

7:00

he and he and his wife

7:02

and he and he and his

7:04

wife and he and he and

7:06

his wife I love you guys

7:08

are just having so much fun.

7:10

It was like this woman who

7:12

works for him who lives in

7:14

my neighborhood and like had a

7:16

party and they were like, you

7:18

know, I'm not revealing anything, but

7:20

they were just having a blast

7:22

and it was just I was

7:25

enjoying hanging with them and watching

7:27

them interact. It made me happy

7:29

I was enjoying hanging with them

7:31

and watching them interact. It made

7:33

me happy. I think Bill is

7:35

one of the most. when he's

7:37

not there and people talk about

7:39

him in his personal life on

7:41

a podcast. That's what he loves.

7:43

He loves it. He loves it.

7:45

And I was hoping that maybe

7:47

you could help me. I don't

7:49

know if you're aware. Yeah. But

7:51

I am a fan of Bill.

7:53

Sure. And I'm a fan of

7:55

Billy Corrigan. Sure. And two bills.

7:57

Yeah. And I'm a fan of

7:59

the Buffalo Bills too. I was

8:01

trying to do something. Bring them

8:03

together in a nice kind way.

8:05

I swear to you, that's what

8:07

I was trying to do. I

8:09

felt it. Your intentions were good.

8:11

And the result? Yeah, a cannibal.

8:13

Just don't do that. Can of

8:15

worms. I mean, Billy Corgan is

8:17

a notoriously gruff person who, a

8:19

phenomenal musician, but like, he's got

8:21

a lot of bones to pick

8:23

with the music industry. I feel

8:25

like the music industry has wronged

8:27

him. You go back and listen

8:29

to those albums and it's just

8:31

incredible. Simon's dream I'll put up

8:33

against anybody's album even the... One

8:36

before it and Pisces is scary.

8:38

Amazing. Those Smashing Pumpkin albums are

8:40

just incredible. And I feel like

8:42

he feels like he doesn't get

8:44

the do he deserves. So there's

8:46

a little bit of like, there's

8:48

a grit to him. Let's bring

8:50

him out here for a second.

8:52

Guys, really. Are you serious? But

8:54

it's not even that. So I

8:56

did. You talk about Bill Burr

8:58

and his wife. His wife, I've

9:00

known since she was a child

9:02

actor. She wasn't an actor. Her

9:04

father was my manager. Oh, what?

9:06

Yes, that's great. Yes, it is

9:08

great. That is wonderful. And Nia,

9:10

who is Bill's wife, did play

9:12

dates with Jackie. Oh, Jackie. So

9:14

I felt especially, I thought, oh,

9:16

you know, maybe I can do

9:18

this. If I can add a

9:20

brother-in-law, if I could add more

9:22

family to the joy that already

9:24

exists that you noticed from across

9:26

the room, I legitimately thought I

9:28

was doing something nice. I swear

9:30

to you. I thought it was

9:32

funny. You want to make everybody

9:34

uncomfortable in a funny way. Why

9:36

do you say that? Why would

9:38

you put him now on the?

9:40

I'm not putting him on the

9:42

spot, but you definitely... What a

9:44

weird choice. Jackie, there was friction,

9:46

right? This is what he does.

9:49

He inserts himself. This is not

9:51

the first time you've done this.

9:53

He's a potster. Do you feel

9:55

like your dad is more like

9:57

your son than your dad at

9:59

times? Like you have to take

10:01

care of him. You have to

10:03

parent? Yeah, actually, as a matter

10:05

of fact, all the time. When

10:07

you're mad at him, do you

10:09

call him, do you call him,

10:11

do you call him, do you

10:13

call him? No, I do not.

10:15

No, she called me on that

10:17

particular episode. A dick. I called

10:19

him a dick. I saw it.

10:21

But here's the, here's what I

10:23

want to talk about. I'm talking

10:25

about, and it's so appropriate that

10:27

you guys are here because, like,

10:29

you would be the key to

10:31

understanding relationship from even a closer

10:33

point of view than just brothers

10:35

who are meeting for the first

10:37

time. Right. Correct. I think I

10:39

had no idea. Bilber has not

10:41

peeped. I texted him and said

10:43

good epic. so didn't answer. No.

10:45

I said is there any is

10:47

there anything I can do to

10:49

further to follow up right to

10:51

follow up how can I help

10:53

you put no answer nothing the

10:55

next thing I see the next

10:57

thing I see the next thing

11:00

I see is because I don't

11:02

really I'm not on social media

11:04

that much is headlines right did

11:06

you see any of the headlines?

11:08

Oh yeah I saw a lot.

11:10

Bill Burr doubles down on trashing

11:12

high mandel over the Corrigan. He's

11:14

that is the New York Post.

11:16

Well, the New I mean, I'm

11:18

surprised it didn't turn into a

11:20

pun. Bill, the bill is due.

11:22

You know, burn his sock. A

11:24

burn his side. What else? What

11:26

else? What do you, what else?

11:28

You're putting up. Wait. And by

11:30

the way, that could have been

11:32

he's a Hollywood hole. with his

11:34

W.H.O.I. Houghington Post. Howie Mandel Blindside's

11:36

Bill Burr with his alleged half-brother

11:38

Billy Corrigan. I did Blindside. I

11:40

mean, you say Blindside. People say,

11:42

I want to, I love you,

11:44

I want to throw a surprise

11:46

party. Speaking of Blindside. Sandy. Sandy.

11:48

Who's suing the movie. Why do

11:50

I keep making this most? Elon

11:52

Musk will be here. You know,

11:54

he's coming, he sits over there.

11:56

He sits right there. I love,

11:58

I saw your routine with that.

12:00

I started doing one too like

12:02

that. I saw that too. Did

12:04

you see that? Yeah, my Tesla

12:06

goes from zero to 60. Hey

12:08

now? Hey. Yes. Hey. Yes. The,

12:10

maybe that's just a lie. Space

12:13

X just shoots right off the

12:15

thing. We said that all he

12:17

was doing was trying to kill

12:19

a fly on his. said we're

12:21

going to exterminate all the Jewish

12:23

folks. But I feel like that

12:25

was definitely not an anti-Semitism to

12:27

come at him. Maybe it was

12:29

just an autistic day. You know,

12:31

sometimes you do half the dab,

12:33

you forget this part. It looks,

12:35

if you just do this, if

12:37

you have this, it's fun! If

12:39

I'm this PR person, I'm just

12:41

leaning hard into the autism. Autistic

12:43

dab? Like I want his parents

12:45

to come out and be like,

12:47

we're just happy, he lives on

12:49

his own. It's a dab on

12:51

the spectrum. I feel like it's

12:53

more of like a dyslexic. Dyslexic

12:55

dab. Well, it went the wrong

12:57

way. Yeah, he went the wrong

12:59

way. Did you see, I don't

13:01

know if you guys invest, but

13:03

the Dojicoin just shot up yesterday?

13:05

Anyway, I had no idea that

13:07

I was going to get Yeah,

13:09

so this did you know that

13:11

would you having known what happened?

13:13

Are you surprised because I I

13:15

want to apologize Shocked because Bill

13:17

is the most agreeable guy we've

13:19

ever met ever every scenario Every

13:21

he he doesn't like to be

13:24

a contrarian does not like this

13:26

does surprise Bill Burr is like

13:28

you say something and he agrees

13:30

with it I mean that's what

13:32

I know of him as a

13:34

human being He'll have a flave

13:36

you to death this is news

13:38

to I was watching the Rich

13:40

Eisen show. I love Rich Eisen.

13:42

I love Rich Eisen. I don't

13:44

know that I like this clip.

13:46

Let's see. Watch this. Was that

13:48

people want to know, were you

13:50

really pissed? Huh? Listen, I don't

13:52

like talk about your stuff? Yeah,

13:54

I don't. So like how he

13:56

did what he did? Yeah. Because

13:58

he is a Hollywood whore. Yeah,

14:00

yeah, Hollywood horror. Look, no, as

14:02

Elon Musk has proved, like no

14:04

bad, no press is bad press.

14:06

So I think you got to

14:08

love that there, that your, your

14:10

name is in Rich Eisen's mouth.

14:12

Of Rich Eisen, which, well, Rich

14:14

Eisen didn't say anything, Bill Burr

14:16

said I'm a Hollywood whore. I

14:18

should be proud of that. I'm

14:20

not, you know, the truth of

14:22

the matter is if he feels

14:24

bad, I feel bad, I feel

14:26

bad. Right. No, I think I

14:28

think I heard his feelings. And

14:30

in turn, are your feelings hurt?

14:32

But he said that, and it,

14:35

see, he's inserting him. into this

14:37

whole thing. I mean, me? Yes.

14:39

He called me a Hollywood horror.

14:41

But that's everyone in Hollywood. And

14:43

here in Hollywood, you are by

14:45

very nature of being in Hollywood

14:47

trying to see a horror. So

14:49

are you guys Hollywood Menage? Hollywood

14:51

Menage? We're Hollywood Nikki Menage. We

14:53

have beef with everyone. But people

14:55

are taking, like, he does that,

14:57

and then that just inspires those

14:59

headlines. I was on Fox News

15:01

last night. Just watching him? Cutfield.

15:03

You're on gut field? No, I

15:05

wasn't. It was on gut field.

15:07

It was on. After he said

15:09

that, watch what this guy says.

15:11

I don't know who this guy

15:13

is, but watch this and tell

15:15

me how I should react to

15:17

this. Okay. I think we're on

15:19

the same page thinking that you're

15:21

kind of a dik right now.

15:23

I think you're a dik. Howie's

15:25

garbage. Okay, this I come from

15:27

broken home. It's the last thing

15:29

that you want to discuss I

15:31

got 17 brothers and sisters half

15:33

of them I've never met Never

15:35

will meet and I certainly if

15:37

you brought one of them on

15:39

the chair would be the last

15:41

time you ever saw me on

15:43

Gutfeld Yeah, there's certain things you

15:45

don't do and while I don't

15:48

know because of a comedian we

15:50

can make Burr is bothered. Okay

15:52

Billy and him had different lives

15:54

Billy is a very close personal

15:56

a friend of mine. So he

15:58

knows him I'm not gonna speak

16:00

on our stuff Wow, but just

16:02

imagine that They had never met

16:04

before they had all the power

16:06

in the world to meet all

16:08

the pain From the dad. He

16:10

was living to raising two children

16:12

He didn't even have the creativity

16:14

to give them different names once

16:16

Bill and one's Billy and you

16:18

want a guy who puts used

16:20

to put on top of his

16:22

head before he got allergic to

16:24

germs to bring it out to

16:26

you? You couldn't, you're just not

16:28

famous anymore. I'm not, like go

16:30

to, I think he is. I

16:32

go back to your stupid jokes.

16:34

How are we garbage? Okay, I'm

16:36

garbage. I'm garbage. Stop it. This

16:38

is from a man who does

16:40

not know where his mustache is.

16:42

Put up his... I didn't see

16:44

that. I don't have a still

16:46

of him. I love this guy.

16:48

I love Amish comedians. I'm so

16:50

glad he dressed up to be

16:52

on TV. You know what it

16:54

looks like? It looks like, it

16:56

looks like, it looks like, put

16:59

his picture up, Theo von got

17:01

stung by a bee and he's

17:03

allergic. Doesn't it look like Theo

17:05

will be mad at him? Listen.

17:07

I think it's to me. I

17:09

think it's like exciting that this

17:11

is in the news. I mean

17:13

you got to patch things up

17:15

with Bill. I'm asking you if

17:17

you're good friends you said yes

17:19

I was hoping you would reach

17:21

out. Do you want us to

17:23

do you want us to do?

17:25

Well not look at him from

17:27

across the fucking room. Maybe I

17:29

can text him from across the

17:31

room. I've been texting him and

17:33

he's not answering me and more

17:35

stuff came out and then I

17:37

I the post did you tell

17:39

me something just came out a

17:41

couple of a couple of a

17:43

couple of a couple of minutes

17:45

ago a couple of minutes ago

17:47

right before we started. Stepbrothers, oh

17:49

my god, you can't. I reposted

17:51

this. I reposted, put up what

17:53

I posted. It's fine. It was

17:55

a repost. That's great. That's beautiful.

17:57

I would watch that movie actually.

17:59

Fantastic. But it's not me, that's

18:01

falla ha. Yes, not me. Don't

18:03

get mad at me. Get mad

18:05

at falla ha. But he can't

18:07

read social cues either. He can't

18:09

read. He can't read handles. He

18:12

can't read the room. What's happening

18:14

Howie? How are you are a

18:16

whore? I am. But I feel

18:18

I'm being honest with you and

18:20

I want to talk to you,

18:22

but I also want to apologize.

18:24

No, I want to apologize. I

18:26

feel horrible. And I'm sorry, Bill.

18:28

I'm sorry, Billy. I only tried

18:30

to do something good. What? You

18:32

got to apologize to Tyras. To

18:34

Tyras. Calling me garbage? Tyras. back

18:36

to my jokes. Tyris and gut

18:38

field and gut field gut field

18:40

sorry wasn't it gut felled he

18:42

told me to apologize to gut

18:44

field that's a different I want

18:46

you to have a gut field

18:48

gut feeling when you had a

18:50

gut feeling when you had a

18:52

gut virus I'm sorry from garbage

18:54

to you yeah man I apologize

18:56

but I'm serious I'm trying to

18:58

be yeah you are I guess

19:00

life is a big deal. I

19:02

mean, life gets in and it

19:04

gets real, then people can't handle

19:06

it. And I'm glad you brought

19:08

a real moment to light. I'm

19:10

glad I'm glad you, you know,

19:12

didn't shy away from conflict and

19:14

other people can't seem to handle

19:16

it. And you know, you brought

19:18

us together and obviously we have

19:20

stuff to work out about our

19:23

own father. Yeah, I mean, and

19:25

when the article comes out in

19:27

the Jewish light that we're very

19:29

mad at. Our parents, Dick and

19:31

Annette Schler. I mean, we'll see.

19:33

Well, your dad's name is Dick.

19:35

That he was. Best name in

19:37

the history of parental names. Dick?

19:39

We'll put in Annette Schler. It

19:41

brings up our old favorite joke.

19:43

How do you catch a dick?

19:45

With Annette. Thank you. Good writing,

19:47

you guys. Rota. Nine years old.

19:49

Are there more Schlars? No. There

19:51

are probably, there might be, David?

19:53

Do you know, Leesclar, Leesclar, Leesclar,

19:55

Leesclar is a famous bassist. He

19:57

was a bassist for James Taylor,

19:59

he's a bassist for Phil Collins.

20:01

He's a famous studio, yeah. Come

20:03

on in, Leesclar. No, wait. I

20:05

think. Dick didn't just stick his

20:07

dick in a net. Yeah, he's

20:09

a he's a version of all.

20:11

Oh, they can't see this. So

20:13

the people at home could see

20:15

you. Look at this. Yeah, it's

20:17

the third sclar lower lawyers. Yeah,

20:19

there you go. I don't know.

20:21

It is like. Yeah. Where do

20:23

you keep finding them? I miss

20:25

you too. This is like if

20:27

we forgot to eat meat. This

20:29

is like AI constructed a human.

20:31

Give me a vegan sclar. Give

20:33

me a sclar with low iron.

20:36

He's going to be pissed off

20:38

at you. Why? An impossible, this

20:40

is my favorite. Yeah, he's, no.

20:42

Apparently the dick got away. Yeah,

20:44

there was a hole in a

20:46

net. There is a hole in

20:48

the net. There is always a

20:50

hole in the net. There is

20:52

always a hole in the net.

20:54

Wow. Right in the third. Thank

20:56

you. Thank you. Thank you. David

20:58

Nusbaum, the only Jew in Hollywood,

21:00

thank you David. Good to have.

21:02

The only guy that Hollywood says

21:04

is too Jewish. They're like, hey,

21:06

can you tone it down a

21:08

little bit? Nusbaum? Your name in

21:10

Hebrew means pedophile. Can you tone

21:12

it way down, sir? I'm sorry,

21:14

I'm trying to do it. Easy,

21:16

no, small. Easy, no, small. Talk

21:18

about a Hollywood horror. God. So

21:20

if you guys do bump into

21:22

Bill or Corrigan, please. Well, OK.

21:24

Tell them I'm sorry. I'm trying

21:26

to do that. It wasn't only

21:28

the press that said stuff. Oh.

21:30

You have comments and like personal

21:32

emails, too. Yeah. What is it?

21:34

What is it? Oh, they say.

21:36

People are not happy. Bill has

21:38

a lot of things. These are

21:40

my following. These are people watching

21:42

my show. What does that say?

21:44

I can't. You can read it.

21:47

The takeaway from this is that

21:49

Howie Mandel is untrustworthy and these

21:51

two deserve to have a conversation

21:53

off camera. Nobody is blaming Jackie

21:55

in any of this. I love

21:57

it. I don't plan. I don't

21:59

plan anything. That's right. You're not

22:01

a part of your time. No,

22:03

I just show up also. You're

22:05

in the past that's making you

22:07

look fat. It's a puffer. It's

22:09

a puffer make you look fat.

22:11

It's a puffer. It's a puffer.

22:13

jacket making me look bad? Is

22:15

this ditty jacket making me look

22:17

like a pedophile? Were you guys

22:19

ever invited to a ditty party?

22:21

No. We were never invited to

22:23

a ditty part. There was a

22:25

spank store at the airport. Which

22:27

I don't know if you, what

22:29

terminal is that in? Is it

22:31

in Detroit? It's in Detroit. There's

22:33

a space. No, there is. It

22:35

is. It basically. Who needs a

22:37

spanks getting on a flight? Basically

22:39

they tried to wedge it in

22:41

between two other stores. And it

22:43

was a giant store, but they

22:45

squeezed it in. Talk about a

22:47

thin showroom. My wife's not carry-on,

22:49

let me get it on the

22:51

vacation or wherever where you were.

22:53

So like. Like, imagine you come

22:55

home. Oh, sorry, sorry. Jackie, close

22:58

yours. But like, imagine if you

23:00

come home with a pair of

23:02

spanks for your wife. That is

23:04

not a good. That's a good

23:06

moment, I think. Is it? I

23:08

don't know. That's a deep level

23:10

of understanding. It is. I wouldn't

23:12

do that. I wouldn't do that.

23:14

I talk about them in my

23:16

act a little bit. Spanks? Yeah.

23:18

Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I can't

23:20

imagine, I can't imagine, like, like,

23:22

like, like, like, like, like, like,

23:24

like, a single, like, like, a

23:26

single woman, like a single woman,

23:28

like a, like, like a, like

23:30

a single woman. wearing like you

23:32

do that you go out you're

23:34

you're hiding your muffin top and

23:36

then you meet somebody and then

23:38

you let it go it's a

23:40

reveal it's it's like pulling the

23:42

cord on a flotation device like

23:44

a magic trip is it magic

23:46

do you go ooh oh or

23:48

do you go ooh I don't

23:50

know some people might really enjoy

23:52

that people are into that you

23:54

never know what they're I also

23:56

talk about the fact that you

23:58

know they sell crotless spanks Do

24:00

they really? They do. Do they

24:02

do? You can put up a

24:04

picture. Put up a picture of

24:06

crotchless. They're called spunks. Crouchless spanks.

24:08

No, but I just thought, there,

24:11

there they are. Is that say?

24:13

Spanks, are they crotchless? Yeah, it

24:15

means you don't have to take

24:17

them off to pee. But here's

24:19

the point. The point is that

24:21

I said basic physics says that

24:23

everything. create a whole things are

24:25

gonna come out. Slow to the

24:27

point of least resistance. So I

24:29

don't see your muffin top, I

24:31

see your muffin bottom. Your vagina

24:33

shouldn't be three and a half

24:35

inches longer than my penis. That's

24:37

a rule. That's what you're going

24:39

for. Sorry. I shouldn't be talking

24:41

like that. Jackie is the only

24:43

one who can speak very intelligently

24:45

about this, but like you're the

24:47

only one who has... Jackie you

24:49

want to weigh in? Yeah. On

24:51

the first of all. He's saying

24:53

not W-E-I-G-A. What are you trying

24:55

to say? We don't weigh my

24:57

daughter on this show. I'm asking

24:59

Jackie is there a way in?

25:01

Is there a way out? Through

25:03

the crotchless spank. Is there? It's

25:05

the way in. Those weren't spanks,

25:07

by the way. They were. No,

25:09

what were they? Skims. Well spanks

25:11

is actually a brand. Yeah. Yeah.

25:13

You know how she invented it?

25:15

I know how she invented it.

25:17

The girl who made snakes. Yeah.

25:19

How'd she do it? She was

25:22

trying, the idea originally was, she

25:24

was having, she had panty line

25:26

on a tight skirt. And she

25:28

didn't want panty line. Sure. So

25:30

what she did is she took

25:32

her panty hose. and she cut

25:34

them and wore them like that

25:36

and it gave her a really

25:38

fitted shape and that was so

25:40

she jerry-rigged is this is this

25:42

sous oerman's origin story isn't sousie

25:44

oerman more real estate yes i'm

25:46

joking no but it might be

25:48

if someone told me that how

25:50

he was on what's the what's

25:52

the show the shark tank i'd

25:54

be like if someone told me

25:56

that i'd be like yeah i

25:58

think he is Yeah, you're you

26:00

seem like you could be on

26:02

shark tank. I wanted to go

26:04

on shark tank. I wanted when

26:06

I saw When when and David

26:08

I'll cut this out if you

26:10

want me to but when I

26:12

saw Proto I saw it at

26:14

the beginning on on Instagram Yeah,

26:16

I said to them I'll go

26:18

on. I love this hologram idea

26:20

You could sell things. Yes. You

26:22

could I could beam and do

26:24

live shows I did a show

26:26

I talked to you guys in

26:28

Montreal on it. Yes, it was

26:30

so much. It's like the best

26:32

piece of technology. If you're looking,

26:35

they were raising money and got

26:37

far more important people than anybody

26:39

on Shark Tank to invest. And

26:41

I said, can we take it

26:43

on Shark Tank? Didn't I ask

26:45

you to take it on Shark

26:47

Tank? Yep. We were invited to

26:49

be on shark tank and you

26:51

said no we did yeah we

26:53

turned down well you should what

26:55

you should have done is not

26:57

been there and done it from

26:59

the thing we we could have

27:01

beamed in and done it from

27:03

there and be like yeah shark

27:05

tank we did we turn shark

27:07

tank town why I am well

27:09

because you know we didn't want

27:11

to reveal too many of our

27:13

secrets got it there's a lot

27:15

of shh Yep, yep, there's special

27:17

songs. How he's not actually here,

27:19

this is a hologram. Howley, that's

27:21

amazing. Yeah, no, it was an

27:23

amazing opportunity, it's an incredible show,

27:25

but I just didn't want to

27:27

give away too much information. You

27:29

were able to, yes, because, well,

27:31

the truth, so the truth of,

27:33

so the truth about this technology

27:35

is like, you're not going to

27:37

get regular people to buy one

27:39

of these. Yeah, you want to,

27:41

I want to. Can you? No,

27:43

here's the thing, here's the thing.

27:46

What do you mean how? They

27:48

call in a small desktop. You

27:50

could have it in your house

27:52

and talk to your kids. You

27:54

could put a, look at it.

27:56

Look at it. We have, you

27:58

talked to your kids in the

28:00

other room. You could talk to

28:02

your kids for once. Yes, my

28:04

kid is going to college. You

28:06

can see them in 3D. You

28:08

could put a piece of art

28:10

in it. This is Sunny's. uh...

28:12

ukulele nice in it yeah you

28:14

know you could put it so

28:16

there's a desktop version there are

28:18

only about five six grand hopefully

28:20

one day they're in every home

28:22

right now they're in malls they're

28:24

in hospitals right colleges they're in

28:26

christies christies is doing uh... amazing

28:28

so you can show the chris

28:30

christies christies christies is uh... they're

28:32

in his house and he has

28:34

a buffet projects a buffet you're

28:36

allowed to eat that's bad that's

28:38

i now i'm now chris christies

28:40

mad oh Would it be weird

28:42

if he was Billy Corrigan's cousin?

28:44

That would be unbelievable. Would it

28:46

be weird if he ate Billy

28:48

Corrigan's cousin? Oh, yeah, here comes

28:50

another thing. What is this? Underpants.

28:52

Is this? You guys won underpants.

28:54

He is a Hollywood whore. He's

28:57

a Hollywood whore. I don't know.

28:59

One of you answered and then

29:01

I don't need both of you

29:03

answered. I don't, how do they

29:05

do it? Medium. Large. Large. Large.

29:07

You're not large. I'm Excel, I

29:09

have a lot. There's no way.

29:11

There's no way. There's no way.

29:13

That is a sports package that

29:15

no one asked for. Here, look,

29:17

wow. Look at this. Feel those

29:19

underpants. Yeah. And when you feel

29:21

them. Tell me the first thing

29:23

that comes to mine. Feel these

29:25

underboms. When you touch them, what's

29:27

the first thing that comes to

29:29

mind? Oh God. Did he? They're

29:31

very, they're very soft. They're very

29:33

soft. They are. They just lied.

29:35

That's the whole Dell fabric. I

29:37

know. Can we blame Drake? Would

29:39

you wear them? Yeah, I'd wear

29:41

those. Well you can go, you

29:43

can go change in them if

29:45

you want them on over the

29:47

pants. Over the pants. What if

29:49

you want to? You wear black,

29:51

do you like black underwear? I

29:53

do. Yeah, so those are, these,

29:55

I call it African-American underwear. You're

29:57

putting them on, you know, the

29:59

pouch, the pouch. He is wearing

30:01

them backwards. That is the pau.

30:03

That is the pau. That's the

30:05

pauch. Why are you? What have

30:07

you been doing this whole time,

30:10

Dad? This is where I put

30:12

my, this is, this is, this

30:14

is, this is, this is where

30:16

Howie puts his clippers. Oh my

30:18

God, you wear them the other

30:20

way? Oh God, Howie. I don't,

30:22

I thought the pauch. Is that

30:24

what you've been doing? I thought

30:26

it, Canadian. These are Canadian? How

30:28

tapped are you put in here?

30:30

A little Tim Hortons. How tapped

30:32

are you of your Canadian roots?

30:34

How much time did you spend

30:36

with Rob Ford? but he was

30:38

alive. So those that don't know,

30:40

Rob Ford was the mayor of

30:42

Toronto. Yeah, he pulled up the

30:44

clip where someone walks into the

30:46

camera. Please pull up. Okay, Tom,

30:48

Tom Ford, not Tom Ford, Tom

30:50

Ford, Tom Ford, Tom Ford is

30:52

the designer, I'm talking about under

30:54

Pan. Okay, Rob Ford walks into

30:56

the camera, the mayor of Toronto.

30:58

It's like a walk and talk

31:00

and how do you guys know

31:02

that, that kind of obscure. He

31:04

eats Rob for it. Rob for

31:06

it. Rob for it. If I

31:08

hear it, let's see the walk

31:10

and talk. Look at this. Look

31:12

at this. That's our, that's our

31:14

mayor. Here he comes. He's like,

31:16

coming out. Here he comes, he's

31:18

like, coming out. Here he comes,

31:21

Chris finally had a drug problem.

31:23

Here he got. Didn't he do

31:25

crack? Watch, watch, watch, watch. Oh!

31:27

Pussy and he is like And

31:29

he was like I have enough

31:31

to eat at home. Get that

31:33

clip up too. Is that him?

31:35

That's at another Canadian. That's at

31:37

a press conference. No, that's him.

31:39

That's her man. That's my hometown

31:41

people. That's the T-DOT. That's Toronto.

31:43

That's where Drake and I are

31:45

from. He's Gordon Heavyfoot. He not

31:47

like us. We not like you.

31:49

You're not giving me anything for

31:51

Gordon Heavyfoot. Come on, man. You

31:53

know what that is a reference

31:55

to. Gordon Lightfoot. Gordon Lightfoot. Okay,

31:57

here we go, watch. I've had

31:59

enough, that's why I warned you

32:01

guys yesterday, be careful what you

32:03

wrote. Okay, so that's all I

32:05

have to say for now. And

32:07

the next thing I want to

32:09

call Mayor Britannia, it's in Hamilton.

32:11

Go. And tell them that we're

32:13

going to have to spank the

32:15

little tiger cats. Oh, and the

32:17

last thing was Olivia Gondack. It

32:19

says that I wanted to eat

32:21

her pussy. They love him, Gondack.

32:23

I've never said that in my

32:25

life tour. I would never do

32:27

that. I'm happily married. I've got

32:29

more than enough to eat at

32:31

home. More than those. His wife,

32:34

me, does not need a clockless

32:36

thing. Yeah, he's got more than

32:38

enough. More than enough that she

32:40

has to hold in there. He's

32:42

like, I eat out at home.

32:44

That's exactly why Trump wants it

32:46

to be the next state. That's

32:48

what you get, America. Oh, look

32:50

at him. Look in both ways.

32:52

Boom! And there he goes. That's

32:54

our mayor. He's trying to move

32:56

him off. Canada is awesome. I

32:58

don't know why they make fun

33:00

of the way Biden walks. Look

33:02

at our mayor. That's right. He's

33:04

like 40 years old. He's not

33:06

like us. If Steve Balmer was

33:08

a walking heart attack. He died.

33:10

He died. He died. He did

33:12

crack. He did crack. crack oh

33:14

smoking crack he did it at

33:16

a press conference yes that's our

33:18

mayor Who's Elena Basso? Oh, she's

33:20

a press secretary. Oh, okay. She

33:22

said, let's get this to show

33:24

people that you're just like the

33:26

people. I just, she's crack secretary.

33:28

What's the light on his face?

33:30

What's the light on his face?

33:32

What the fuck is that? Oh,

33:34

he's lighting up, he's lighting up.

33:36

He's being interviewed. Yeah, so that's

33:38

the light. What was good about

33:40

him is he was able to,

33:42

you know, combine the... I can

33:45

do a press conference and crack

33:47

at the same time. But walking,

33:49

walking is hard. So walk into

33:51

the football heroin. Mr. Ford, time

33:53

for your close up. Extreme. Just

33:55

a wonderful, but you're not, are

33:57

you close with your Canadian roots?

33:59

Like how deep does it roll

34:01

for you? Well now since looking

34:03

at these clips, I feel closer.

34:05

Right? Yeah, that's who I am.

34:07

I am close to my Canadian

34:09

roots. She's got. Do you ever

34:11

go up there? Would you ever

34:13

go up there? Just be like,

34:15

I'm living in Canada. I'm living

34:17

in the 51st date. Sure. I

34:19

would move up there. I like

34:21

it there. I love Toronto. She

34:23

went, we sent her to camp

34:25

there. They sent me far away

34:27

to camp every summer. I went

34:29

to a different country. Get her

34:31

out of here. That adds up.

34:33

Hey, why is she going to

34:35

camp in Iceland? Not when I

34:37

was a kid. No, when I

34:39

was on the road I was

34:41

on the road with him And

34:43

then when my brother and sister

34:45

came then he went by himself

34:47

and he's gone a lot She

34:49

grew up in a tour bus.

34:51

Oh, you know, and at four

34:53

in the morning I used to

34:56

wake her up when she was

34:58

six years old and take her

35:00

into truck stops where there was

35:02

like six people and 13 teeth

35:04

Yes, that's yeah, actually too many

35:06

teeth. Did you like it? Once

35:08

in a once in a while

35:10

I don't No, I never really.

35:12

They got to deserve it. We

35:14

got to let them out of

35:16

the cages. You guys are funny

35:18

with your kids. You're going through

35:20

the, well you're just going through

35:22

when I went, she's 40. Yeah.

35:24

So, uh. Judd Apatow, this is

35:26

40. Right here. Look at this.

35:28

Yes. But she's, oh. You're wonderful

35:30

now. But teenage almost killed me.

35:32

Kill me. Kill me. Kill me.

35:34

Kill me. I thought I was

35:36

gonna die. We said it's like

35:38

living with your two worst internet

35:40

trolls if you have two teenage

35:42

daughters. Right. You can't block them.

35:44

You can't mute them. I was

35:46

like, imagine getting trolled all day

35:48

long by someone and then having

35:50

to drive that person to gymnastics.

35:52

Oh my god. Oh my god.

35:54

Oh my god. This is it

35:56

must be a great moment for

35:58

this. Now? I'd like it what?

36:00

Now? Yes. Can they see it?

36:02

Move closer? Move in closer. There

36:04

you are. Jackie's system. Oh my

36:06

god. It's uncanny. It's uncanny. Is

36:09

she allowed to speak? Who? Jackie,

36:11

your sister? I forget your name.

36:13

Tammy? Yes. Yes, I've been supporting

36:15

Tammy and Tammy's mom. You're like,

36:17

you're like, Tammy's mom? Is that

36:19

one of your last names, Mandel?

36:21

Yeah, it's so crazy. No, it's

36:23

also Jackie. Canadian Johnny Applesee. Jacqueline

36:25

and Jackie. Just like Bill and

36:27

Billy. Jacqueline and Jackie. So this

36:29

is Jackie and that's Jacqueline. Sorry.

36:31

I see it. I see it.

36:33

From Cleveland. Same hair. How do

36:35

you feel about this? Jacqueline? I

36:38

waited a long time. Yeah. Yeah.

36:40

Just a long time coming. But

36:42

I, you know, I love you

36:44

so much. Oh wow. And I

36:47

was wanted a sister. Oh wow.

36:49

And I didn't know until recently.

36:51

So. This is now gonna be

36:53

the thing that you do. Yes.

36:56

Fuck you dad. Oh wow. Wait

36:58

a second. You said, fuck you,

37:00

you whore. You want a sister?

37:02

I have a sister. This is

37:04

not, nothing against you. Like I

37:07

know it's not your fault. I

37:09

have a sister. Yes, you do.

37:11

I have a brother. You do

37:13

right here. No, I- No, Jesus.

37:16

Don't, don't, don't, don't victim blaming.

37:18

I don't, yeah. You don't need

37:20

to, your own blood, Jackie. You

37:22

don't have to blame you. There's

37:25

half of a person there, who's

37:27

half of a sister. All right.

37:29

She's breaking your sunglasses. I'm

37:31

sorry Jackie. Just put the cans

37:33

on. Just put the cans on.

37:36

We'll replace her. She's replaceable. Yeah,

37:38

so it's good to have you

37:40

here. Jacqueline. Jacqueline, it's nice to

37:42

have you. All right, let's just

37:44

pretend it didn't happen. Yeah, nothing

37:46

happened. All right. So you guys

37:48

have a question for Jacqueline. Yeah.

37:50

When your dad here was on

37:52

the road. How often would you

37:54

see him? Just a quick quid.

37:56

Because of your dad being gone

37:58

or more about... Well he would

38:00

send them. Yeah and when we

38:03

did see each other he would

38:05

throw them at me and it

38:07

was like one of our... That's

38:09

a form of love, right? It's

38:11

a form of Canadian culture, that's...

38:13

In Canada culture that's what it

38:15

is. He would toss it. Oh,

38:17

come on, Howie. Howie. This is

38:19

your daughter. She loves it. It's

38:21

our thing. That's our thing. I

38:23

know it's right. Stop. Howie, don't

38:25

you dare? Howie, stop. She doesn't

38:28

like this. Howie. This is abuse.

38:30

Howie. This is abuse. Howard. This

38:32

is the opposite of elder. This

38:34

is an elder person abusing people.

38:36

I know. This is going on

38:38

childhood. No, not the box. Oh,

38:40

Howie. Come on. I'm now starting

38:42

to believe the New York Post,

38:44

Howie. I was on your side

38:46

until you through the box at

38:48

her. Can I ask you, Jacqueline?

38:50

Can I ask you how soft

38:52

are those? I mean, they're kind

38:55

of amazing. Don't ask my daughter

38:57

about her underpass. No, it's not

38:59

her, I have a personal question

39:01

for you, Jacqueline. Does this puffer

39:03

make me look fat? You look

39:05

spelt. Thank you. You look what?

39:07

Spelt, spelt. She is your daughter.

39:09

Yeah, that's a Jewish word. I

39:11

like her. That's a Yiddish word.

39:13

It's a Yiddish word. Selt. Yeah,

39:15

it spelt my south side. Smelt

39:17

so good to me with you!

39:19

It's spelt good. We had an

39:22

we had an Aunt Rita who

39:24

like just A she types everything

39:26

in all caps so she's always

39:28

yelling always screaming and then if

39:30

you meet every day you're like

39:32

yes that's appropriate but the way

39:34

she would say our names is

39:36

the most Jewish like she's in

39:38

a she'd be like Randy Jason

39:40

Jay like everything's a question and

39:42

one time she did say this

39:44

out loud one time she said

39:46

you know who I don't like

39:49

and we're like who and please

39:51

don't say a whole race of

39:53

people but who don't you like

39:55

who don't you like that Jay

39:57

Lena I'm like, who's read his

39:59

name and not heard it? What

40:01

person in America has only read

40:03

Jay Leno? I don't like that

40:05

Jay Leno. Tell that, sing that

40:07

little Jewish song I used to

40:09

sing to you. Oh yeah, I

40:11

want to hear this. Mm-hmm. Dredal,

40:14

dredal. Nope, that's not it. That

40:16

was, that was not it. I

40:18

made it out of clay. And

40:20

when it's dry and ready, she

40:22

knows it. That dredal, we will

40:24

play. I thought it was, I'll

40:26

throw it at your face. No.

40:28

I didn't know. I don't want

40:30

to share that. She threw a

40:32

lot of. Share that here. Yeah.

40:34

But anyway. We all teach her

40:36

back. We all teach in different

40:38

ways. Jackie. Jacklyn, great to see

40:41

you and great to meet you

40:43

and good luck with you and

40:45

your career. You sit in with

40:47

the band? I would love to

40:49

sit in with the band. Go

40:51

ahead. Thank you. Jacklyn, I'm just

40:53

gonna say this. Rest in peace.

40:55

I know you're not dead, but

40:57

I want you to get a

40:59

night's sleep. It's been a traumatic

41:01

day. Jackie, grab your glasses off.

41:03

Oh, there you go. Oh, look

41:05

at this. Oh my God. This

41:08

is amending of a mending of

41:10

a relationship. Women do know how

41:12

to heal. Are you healed? I

41:14

think I just don't want to

41:16

talk about it anymore Yeah, okay,

41:18

I get that I get it

41:20

I understand I understand We get

41:22

another box of underpants so that

41:24

I want to do for one

41:26

what I did for the other

41:28

we get Can we get another?

41:30

That wasn't our thing. That wasn't

41:33

that wasn't our thing What was

41:35

our thing? You being gone. Go

41:37

ahead. You being with your other

41:39

daughter. Go ahead. I'm not going

41:41

to say it live. Second. Are

41:43

you kidding? No, no, no, no.

41:45

Don't say it. Don't say it.

41:47

Don't say it. It doesn't matter.

41:49

How we had a secret second

41:51

family. That's not a part of

41:53

it. And the thing about it

41:55

is I tried at one point

41:57

to it got a little iffy

42:00

at one point. Sure. I remember.

42:02

And I'm not supposed to bring

42:04

this. But I took her to

42:06

the circus. And then because I

42:08

want to spend time with my

42:10

Other family secret secret secret second

42:12

I don't unsecret You want another

42:14

it's not my thing so yeah,

42:16

but I don't oh wow Don't

42:18

know can I say this about

42:20

the secret second family just that's

42:22

an integration That's not trying to

42:24

that's a product that pays us.

42:27

It's all right. I'll knock it

42:29

off the Jackie Can I say

42:31

this about a secret second family?

42:33

Because there are guys out there

42:35

who have the secret second family.

42:37

Really? I never understood. Really? No

42:39

amount of sex with another person

42:41

is worth seven back to school

42:43

nights. Don't do it. Don't do

42:45

that. Don't get a second. It's

42:47

not worth it. It's just not.

42:49

I don't care if three of

42:51

them are on Zoom. I don't

42:54

care if she's open to anal.

42:56

Open to it. Open to anal.

42:58

He doesn't see me. He doesn't

43:00

see me. No, no. Good. It's

43:02

good to have your daughter work.

43:04

Bring your daughter to work. Bring

43:06

your daughter to work. Really just

43:08

extended. My son is here too.

43:10

Is he? Yeah. Good. He probably

43:12

doesn't want to be on. Where's

43:14

my son? Is it Nusbaum? No.

43:16

Alex. Alex. Alex. He's acting like

43:19

he doesn't see me. He doesn't

43:21

care. Hi Alex. He's taking, you

43:23

know, he won't even pay attention.

43:25

He has to go to the

43:27

other room. How many kids do

43:29

you have? That you know, that

43:31

you know of. Per state? Yes.

43:33

Yeah, per state, per province. Because

43:35

I know you have a few

43:37

in the Yukon. In the Yucatan

43:39

Peninsula. Really? That's down in Mexico.

43:43

How many? Did you hear there

43:45

was a helicopter? It's like a

43:47

military grade helicopter. You know, you've

43:49

done such a nice job of

43:51

all the signage for a, I

43:53

would have loved, because there's a

43:55

picture of a guy on a

43:57

motorcycle. That's my son. That is

43:59

your son? That's my son. I

44:02

would have loved. you would have

44:04

the picture of the two really

44:06

fat twins on the motorcycle. For

44:08

us. For us. You know the

44:10

super super. Guinness. Guinness is fat

44:12

as twins. Can we get that

44:14

up? The fat twins on a

44:16

motorcycle. That my son on a

44:18

motorcycle reminded you of that. Of

44:20

the two fat. Twins. Of the

44:22

two fat. Twins. They always. That's

44:24

as big as the one. Is

44:26

that true? They cannot be. Oh

44:28

my God. They're on a motorcycle.

44:30

Are you serious? They can only

44:32

be photographed on motorcycles. Who are

44:34

they? Was that you? Are you

44:37

guys the after? That was six

44:39

months ago. Thank you. They're the

44:41

originators of spanks. This is what

44:43

they were looking at. This is

44:45

what reminded them. Right. This is

44:47

my son Alex. Right. You saw

44:49

this. And you decided to put

44:51

up that. Right. I thought of

44:53

that. I was like, you could

44:55

have put this up. The one

44:57

from behind where they have little

44:59

cowboy hats on this one. That

45:01

picture makes it seem like he's

45:03

overcompensating for something. The one from

45:05

behind with the cowboy hats is

45:07

my favorite. There we go. That's

45:09

the one that may have. Those

45:11

are, and I'm, those are extra

45:13

large cowboy hats. You know how

45:15

they say riding off into the

45:17

sunset? Right. Do you know how

45:19

they say ride or die? That's

45:21

ride and die. Yes. That

45:24

is literally death their gang name is

45:26

type 2 diabetes Do you guys? speaking

45:28

of weight If one of you loses

45:31

weight, does the other one feel good?

45:33

No, I wish. One of you gains

45:35

weight, does the other one buy a

45:37

puffer jacket? Feel bad. I can't believe

45:39

how much this is making me look

45:42

like that. No, I... No, we both...

45:44

Put up, pull up the pictures of

45:46

the twins. Okay. Because there's one other...

45:48

Hey guys, you're missing a little something.

45:51

A leopard vest? Yeah! How will they

45:53

know your twins? Get the leopard vests

45:55

over here and put them on. Did

45:57

you guys, when your kids, when your

45:59

babies, did your parents trust you identically?

46:02

So they didn't. But one time they

46:04

did. One time we were six weeks

46:06

old, they did. That's six weeks old.

46:08

It's a diaper. You're both wearing a

46:11

fucking diaper. We had full outfits. First

46:13

time out of the house. And we

46:15

went to, our mom took us to

46:17

the doctor to get weighed and measured.

46:19

And the nurse put pampers on it,

46:22

it's like pampers, it was like a

46:24

brand new, they had come up with

46:26

like a brand new diaper with tape

46:28

on fasteners. They were the beats by

46:31

a dream of baby ball movement underground.

46:33

Right. And so the nurse changed the

46:35

diaper, handed the diaper pins to our

46:37

mom. In a bag. In a bag.

46:39

And it was like, here I did

46:42

something nice. You did what? Why would

46:44

you? Who had which. The nurse said

46:46

you're the mom you don't know shame

46:48

intense and she and our dad basically

46:51

guessed guest and then we found out

46:53

about it when we were 10 years

46:55

old and then we kept trying to

46:57

find out if we were who we

47:00

were and got stymied at every turn

47:02

until we were 48 Hollywood 42. Thank

47:04

you. And we were and we found

47:06

a clue and then we went on

47:08

a sort of quest with this American

47:11

life and we found out. if we

47:13

are who we are and that is

47:15

the subject of our two-man show that

47:17

you're all invited to in San Francisco.

47:20

Wait, you could be. Yeah, you don't

47:22

know which one you don't know what

47:24

now we do now. How do you

47:26

know? It's just arbitrary that she gave

47:28

one name and another one of names.

47:31

So how do you decide that you're?

47:33

You get it you have a social

47:35

security number when you're born? There's a

47:37

lot of things you have to unravel.

47:40

Yes, yes, it is pretty much just

47:42

in a name. But then as you

47:44

grow up in this life you want

47:46

to know who you are you also

47:48

want to know, you know, you know,

47:51

you know, you know, you know, you

47:53

know, you know, you know, you know,

47:55

you know, It's called the born identity.

47:57

When do we see that? So we

48:00

did it. We just did it last

48:02

night here in LA, but we're doing

48:04

it. Good plus. Thanks. We're doing it

48:06

this Saturday. When does this show come

48:08

out tomorrow? Tuesday. Damn. Perfect. Really? Last

48:11

Saturday we did it at Sketch Fest

48:13

and then we might Sketchers? Sketchers? Sketchers.

48:15

I know I just have to mention

48:17

Sketchers because I am a brand ambassador.

48:20

You are? So slip into the Sketcher

48:22

show. Thank you. Slip into our show.

48:24

Slip into our show. Slip into our

48:26

show. So when's the next time? If

48:28

they go to Sklar brothers.com. We'll put

48:31

it up and what are you looking

48:33

for? I see Kyle searching the internet.

48:35

There we go. Oh, there you are.

48:37

There are brothers. There's a beautiful course.

48:40

Yeah, come see us, man. I would

48:42

love to. Yeah, when we do play

48:44

at the same clubs and we drop

48:46

in at the clubs all the time,

48:49

you guys are hysterical. Thank you, man.

48:51

No, you really are. What's amazing, and

48:53

I know they say it, and it's

48:55

kind of hack thing to say, but,

48:57

you know. the twins one person always

49:00

finishes the other sentence. But how much

49:02

of that is, is you guys just

49:04

being so slick together? Because I'm a

49:06

fan of comedy teams. My first young

49:09

comedian special was the Smothers Brothers were

49:11

the most. Yes. They have that same

49:13

kind of not that same cadence, but

49:15

there is a cadence where you know

49:17

where you're going Do you need to

49:20

rehearse a lot or so we do

49:22

a like we'll bring a bit to

49:24

the stage? Why are you laughing? Because

49:26

while he was asking you guys were

49:29

nodding your said it Notting your head

49:31

and saying at the exact same time

49:33

so like it doesn't need to be

49:35

reversed obviously there's a certain level of

49:37

You are around someone a lot, you

49:40

kind of understand the rhythms of what

49:42

this person is doing. Let me say

49:44

what I want to say, and let

49:46

me interrupt here. No, I do think...

49:49

People say you guys finish each other's

49:51

sentences, I'm like, I haven't been able

49:53

to finish a god damn sentence in

49:55

40 years. 40 years. No, I think

49:57

what what we do is we listen

50:00

while we talk and a lot of

50:02

people don't do that in life and

50:04

certainly not on stage. Definitely like when

50:06

you're acting the most important thing you

50:09

can do is really actually hear what

50:11

the person across me was saying because

50:13

then it can bring something up. Let

50:15

me take you back to your St.

50:18

Elseward days. Thank you. I think listening

50:20

while you're talking is a skill that

50:22

you develop over time too. And so

50:24

if I feel him wanting to sort

50:26

of push forward and say something, It's

50:29

clutch, it's like an old stick shift

50:31

car, it's clutch and gas and

50:33

you're sort of understanding when to

50:35

push back and when to push

50:37

forward and once you get those

50:39

rhythms down, it's fun. It's like I

50:42

talked to a friend who's a dwarf

50:44

and he said it's, his description, it's

50:46

like whistling where you work. Yeah. I mean,

50:48

kind of. Brad Williams said that. Why

50:50

would I? So there was, there was

50:53

a sport, a minor league hockey sports,

50:55

the team that had a mascot whose

50:57

big trick was to go into the

50:59

crowd and take someone's like young child

51:01

and then like carry. Act like they're

51:04

gonna run out of the run out

51:06

of the, like I got your child

51:08

like run out of the stadium and

51:10

like run out of the stadium and

51:13

the crowd goes. Canapping is hilarious, right.

51:15

So this guy did this guy did

51:17

this and. I don't know if you've

51:19

ever had a mascot head on Jay

51:21

and I in Milwaukee we were doing

51:24

comedy one time and the Milwaukee Brewers

51:26

allowed us to be two of the

51:28

sausages that ran around that race. Yeah,

51:30

so we got to be in the

51:32

sausage race, which we were

51:34

ecstatic. But like, you know,

51:37

people show up and it's

51:39

anybody who's an employee at

51:42

the Brewers. You look on

51:44

the like the chore wheel

51:47

and it's like, well, you're

51:49

the Polish sausage today. You

51:52

don't have good peripheral vision.

51:54

We understand this because we

51:57

were the sausages. This mascot picked up

51:59

a dwarf. thinking he was

52:01

grabbing a kid. and like starting running

52:03

up and the whole crowd is like

52:05

no no no no and he of

52:07

course is thinking they're egging him on

52:09

and so like keep going picked up

52:11

is this on tape I don't know

52:14

we got to find it you guys

52:16

got to fight it but the crowd

52:18

is going wild he thinks I'm killing

52:20

with this bit he's carrying a grown

52:22

adult out of the state of it

52:24

is reminds me of the mike Tyson

52:26

thing yeah when he kissed yeah when

52:29

he kissed the kid yeah yeah the

52:31

kid the kid he was like fake

52:33

fighting His ball is the. That was

52:36

cute. That's cute and Mike Tyson being

52:38

interviewed by the teenage kid where he

52:40

starts to get so dark. Yeah. I

52:43

do know. I do know. What am

52:45

I getting, I want my legacy? What

52:47

the fuck do I care about my

52:50

legacy? And she rolls with it. She

52:52

rolls it so well. Okay. All right.

52:54

Great. That's an answer I

52:56

haven't heard before. What are

52:58

we putting up? We'll put

53:00

up when they come. I

53:02

mean, this is a guy

53:04

who's. Oh, I know that

53:06

guy. He pays property tax.

53:09

That could be Jim Wharton,

53:11

comedian. Oh, it's going to

53:13

hit him. Right, right. And

53:15

then what? He gets him,

53:17

picks him up, and he

53:19

kisses him. Oh. Oh. Oh. There

53:22

I go. Get in there, Mike.

53:24

Oh my gosh. Mike has no

53:26

idea. Mike has no idea. Guys

53:29

like I'm 46. It's not stopping

53:31

why isn't a guy with him?

53:33

I think he's younger. I

53:35

think he's like a He's in

53:38

his 20s. I got I got

53:40

a baby. I got mouths to

53:43

feed bitch. Like get off I

53:45

got three paternity suits on me.

53:47

Oh my god. The Tyson interview

53:50

with the girl that gets dark

53:52

is so good. It's so fantastic

53:54

interview with how do we?

53:57

How do we? And I mean he gets

53:59

he gets It talks about his legacy.

54:01

He's like, why don't I care

54:04

about my legacy? This is it.

54:06

This is it. That's it at

54:08

the top. Let's see this. So

54:11

this is a teenager. No, no,

54:13

no, no. Not this one. Not

54:15

this one. Up on there. Standing

54:18

right there. Yeah. All the way

54:20

on the right. So she's a

54:22

kid? No. Yes. Kids my age

54:25

to see. Kids my age. She

54:27

said it. Great energy. So sweet.

54:29

Legacy. Do you like to leave?

54:32

Simple question. I don't believe in

54:34

the word legacy. I think that's

54:36

another word for ego. Okay. So

54:39

leave it at that. Fine. Fair.

54:41

Yeah, I want you to think

54:43

about me when I'm gone. Oh

54:46

my god. And she's just like,

54:48

she's like, my mom's over there.

54:50

Keep that thought, Mike, I'm going

54:52

to drink a juice box out

54:55

because I'm 12. Keep my thought,

54:57

I'm just going to go grab

54:59

my pillow back. Were the people

55:02

from Make a Wish upset with

55:04

this? I don't know. This girl

55:06

is a champion. She rolled with

55:09

it. I'm like, give her a

55:11

job like on that note. It's

55:13

good to see that I didn't.

55:16

I'm not the only one that

55:18

kind of has screwed up in

55:20

that way. That sucks up. I

55:23

mean, you haven't been hit in

55:25

the head as many times as

55:27

Mike. I know, but I feel

55:30

like I should get hit in

55:32

the head. So this episode, not

55:34

only thank you for coming. I

55:37

mean, of course. We're gonna, I

55:39

want to see your show, I

55:41

want to see that show about

55:44

you getting, uh, finding out who

55:46

you are. Yeah, it's called the

55:48

Born identity. We're going to do

55:51

it. We're going to do it.

55:53

as this drops we did this

55:55

past weekend at sketch fest will

55:58

probably do it in a run

56:00

somewhere maybe in our hometown and

56:02

then maybe one day we'll see

56:05

it on Broadway yeah Broadway yeah

56:07

let's go again a sincere apology

56:09

to Bill and Billy I didn't

56:12

mean anything please call me or

56:14

check in with me I am

56:16

I am truly sorry what about

56:19

your legacy though I don't give

56:21

a fuck. I'm going to die.

56:23

I'm going to die. I'm going

56:26

to die. And thank you for,

56:28

I want to say a special

56:30

thank you to Cindy. Jacklin's mother

56:33

for allowing me to fly her

56:35

in from Cleveland to meet her

56:37

sister. Just nice that she allowed

56:40

that happen. Yeah, it was cool.

56:42

Tammy was here. Also, I'm gonna...

56:44

To all the people that took

56:47

time to write comments. Yeah. Everybody,

56:49

I'm sorry. Everybody, I'm sorry. Whether

56:51

they're good or bad. Of course.

56:54

You could take your headsets off

56:56

and go out and listen to

56:58

Sunny in the Black Pack. Sure,

57:01

I'd play you. The Sunny and

57:03

the African American Pack. Go listen.

57:05

Thank you everybody. I need you

57:08

to comment. I need you to

57:10

subscribe. Watch also when a stranger

57:12

calls with me and Harlan Williams,

57:15

which is another funny podcast. Until

57:17

next time, hit it, Sunny. Make

58:00

his laugh since womb With

58:02

how we on AGT, always sunny

58:04

and gray's anatomy, cheap seats are

58:06

what I need

58:08

Let's hang out in

58:10

the nosebleed, onto Raja, with

58:12

my wife my

58:15

today I'll be

58:17

scarred for I'll be scarred

58:19

for life. Yeah too! all

58:21

right now Watching

58:24

how it

58:26

bend down Get

58:28

to proof

58:31

all right now

58:33

Watching how

58:35

it bend down

58:38

Dust off,

58:40

dust off, dust

58:42

off Jackalyn

58:45

Schultz Music

59:07

Dust off! Yes! That

59:11

was great! You

59:14

guys are amazing, we love you guys! Thank you, we love

59:16

you too! Thank you so much! You were great! Amazing!

59:18

You were a good actor!