0:38

do the shuffle, do the hustle, dance

0:40

in all night like a DB

0:42

Russell, chillin' and slayin' and with his

0:44

routine, see his eye deck full

0:46

crime scene. Will Ted dance?

0:50

Will Ted dance? Will

0:52

Ted dance? Will

0:54

Ted be dancing through the door?

0:56

Yes, he did. Yeah,

0:59

I fucking believe it. That's

1:01

amazing. You guys were amazing. Thank

1:04

you, man. Thank you. I I

1:06

doing this podcast, but I'll be honest with

1:08

you, it's edited. You to see me unedited?

1:11

You want to have more fun? Come see

1:13

me do live stand up. Go

1:15

to HowieMandell.com to find out all my dates,

1:17

but May 16th at 8 o 'clock. I'll

1:19

be at the Mayo Performing Arts Center

1:21

in Morristown, New Jersey. May 17th, I'll be

1:23

at the Maryland Hall for Creative Arts

1:25

in Annapolis, Maryland. You know what I'm gonna

1:27

be bringing? There's gonna be

1:29

some surprises that night. Big surprises. Only

1:31

a few tickets left. Get

1:34

them. I promise you, you're gonna say

1:36

I was there that night. May

1:38

18th, 7 o 'clock. Harzayan Temple, Penn

1:40

Valley, Pennsylvania, and May 22nd. I'll be

1:42

at Ruth Eckert Hall, Clearwater, Florida. And

1:44

there's many more dates. Go

1:47

to HowieMandell.com. Okay,

1:49

we got longer daylight hours. That means

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slash howie. There's no safe

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like Simply Safe. We

3:27

were rolling for the time you

3:29

came in because we always bet

3:31

like will the guest dance you

3:33

did dance and then you Then

3:35

you went to get a snack

3:37

what you chewing on right now

3:40

So this could be an ASMR

3:42

episode if you push the the

3:44

mic closer. You know what ASMR

3:46

is? No, it's no people people

3:48

get turned on by the sounds

3:50

of eating and Scratching and those

3:53

sounds like that. Do you know

3:55

that? There's a whole there's a

3:57

whole Like they'll people will take

3:59

this Ted dance and chewing that

4:01

sound and Swallowing oh and doing

4:03

that and they'll have their they'll

4:05

have their guitar I'm gonna sit

4:08

here. I'm not gonna laugh or

4:10

be able to smile Throughout this

4:12

whole podcast because I know I

4:14

have junk in my teeth. No,

4:16

no, no, no Do you want

4:18

to look in there? Put his

4:20

picture up on the thing smile?

4:23

Oh, I can't see it. Can

4:25

I? Smart very smart. Yeah, if

4:27

you see junk in his teeth

4:29

anybody here if you see junk

4:31

in his teeth, please tell us

4:33

There's no junk in your teeth

4:36

for sure. Jeremy is putting AI

4:38

just stuff all in his teeth

4:40

right now Yeah, we have the

4:42

ability to add junk Okay, introduce

4:44

me again even though we've met

4:46

Jacqueline I miss daughter Jesus yeah,

4:48

you didn't I did yeah, she

4:51

was a baby Jacqueline or Jackie

4:53

you're Jacqueline My

4:55

full name is Jacqueline. He

4:57

calls me Jackie, but I go by Jacqueline.

4:59

But you could call me whatever you want.

5:01

You could call me shithead, whatever. No, no,

5:03

this is your podcast. What should I call

5:05

you, Jackie? Can I call you Jackie? Princess.

5:07

Princess. Princess Jackie.

5:10

Or just princess, whatever you want. Princess

5:12

for today. She's got two girls like me

5:14

too. Yeah? How old are they? Nice to meet

5:17

you. Well, 41. 40.

5:19

And 45 now? 44 you don't

5:21

even know how old your child. No,

5:23

okay. This one's 40 because I

5:25

no longer focused on her I'm focused

5:28

on her brand new baby Sonny

5:30

who's like Is that the best four

5:32

and a half months? She gave

5:34

me two grandchildren. My other daughter gave

5:36

me one that is so great

5:38

and so far behind me We have

5:40

five now you're five grandchildren. Yeah,

5:42

it's amazing. But the beauty of this

5:45

one is she's not married She's

5:47

just incredibly loose and abled and just

5:49

it gets impregnated Every time she

5:51

goes out I'm so sorry about your

5:53

daddy. The

5:58

last time you met this girl

6:00

because I said you're coming in and

6:02

she was actually embarrassed and I

6:04

go he won't remember that she was

6:06

this big and naked or why

6:08

were you embarrassed? Did I bring my

6:10

naked daughter around you? No, no.

6:12

No, okay. All right. Okay. You never

6:14

know, right? Yes. Yeah, tell this

6:16

premiere behind you. No, no. The first

6:18

premiere I ever went to was

6:20

three men and a baby. And

6:24

I think I was in the theater

6:26

and Tom Selleck's face came up on the

6:28

screen and it was very scary and

6:30

he had to rush me out and I

6:32

was screaming in the theater. No, he's

6:34

scary. It's all good. I think it's the

6:36

stash. It was a moustache. She

6:39

doesn't like caterpillars. She was always afraid

6:41

of caterpillars. And then this face comes on

6:43

the screen of Tom Selleck with his

6:45

caterpillar under his nose. And she was screaming,

6:47

it's a caterpillar. And I was so

6:49

embarrassed because you were nice enough to invite

6:51

us to the premiere. And I show

6:53

Well, you really did. You really did run

6:55

out and want to go. Yeah, we

6:57

ran out. We didn't see it. I think

6:59

I saw it later. I saw it

7:01

later, but you were screaming. And she's still

7:03

terrorized by. She can't tell the difference

7:05

between a Tom Selleck mustache and a caterpillar.

7:07

Can you? What do you do with

7:09

his face? Clearly. It's

7:12

attached. It's attached. This is

7:14

not a caterpillar. What this is

7:16

is a cat's ass, which he has

7:18

no problem with. This makes sense

7:20

to me. A cat's ass on your

7:22

dad's face. Let's face it, bathrooms

7:24

aren't exactly clean and your cat's bathroom,

7:26

don't get me started. If you're

7:28

still using a traditional litter box, it's

7:30

tracking messes, spreading odor all over

7:33

your home and nobody wants that, especially

7:35

not me. Time to say goodbye

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and use code HOWY25 for $25 off

7:49

and free shipping. What about ball

7:51

people with beards that must have freaked

7:53

you out? Well, that doesn't make

7:56

sense. Isn't that similar to what you

7:58

have? It's like somebody with a

8:00

head on upside down. Yeah, that's what

8:02

it is Ted and I have

8:04

I met you years and years and

8:06

years ago At this thing. Yep.

8:08

Yes. This was and to be I'm

8:10

gonna be totally honest with you.

8:12

What? AI put flamingos

8:14

next to me Here's

8:16

what here's what went

8:19

out of my brain.

8:21

It was like God,

8:23

I don't remember her

8:25

being in the movie

8:27

I Think AI and

8:30

punking people with AI

8:32

could lead to some

8:34

real mental breakdowns. Yeah,

8:36

I'm having a little

8:39

one. Yeah, really? Yeah

8:41

You are Truly

8:43

a joy. I love you, buddy. I

8:45

really do. I love you, too. I

8:47

don't see you a lot. I mean,

8:50

you're probably the busiest. You probably hold

8:52

a record. Are you thinking to spoke

8:54

of world records? You probably have appeared

8:56

on the most scripted episodes of television

8:58

in history. I don't

9:00

know, but a lot. Yes, a

9:02

lot. I mean, every. Have you

9:04

ever been without a series? Yes.

9:07

Yeah. I mean, you know, you

9:09

work for. Very short X amount of

9:12

time and then people see you

9:14

every week for a very long time

9:16

from that little bit of work

9:18

And people think you're working non -stop,

9:20

but you're not you have time off

9:22

you have I know but we

9:25

are really lucky in a career if

9:27

you should land apart and Get

9:29

some success. I'm doing false humility. I've

9:31

been so blessed and I have

9:33

been able to work Pretty

9:35

much like you said non -stop nobody has

9:37

no nobody has worked like you like

9:39

even like that the stars of yesteryear

9:42

You know I'd like the Andy Griffith

9:44

show and I am a star of

9:46

yesteryear, but you're a star today. Okay.

9:48

Yes. Yeah that inside man is great

9:50

Thank you. It is it really is.

9:52

Yeah, I love that it kind of

9:54

touched a chord and people wanted Something

9:56

real and sweet and kind and

9:58

and now you're gonna do the next

10:00

season with your wife. I am

10:02

yeah, it's out there in the world

10:05

isn't it yeah, Mary and I

10:07

guess she plays my love interest What

10:09

a stretch what a stretch. I

10:11

don't know how he's one of the

10:13

best actors in Hollywood and he

10:15

really Actually the last time we worked

10:17

together the director pulled this aside

10:19

said will you please stop? directing each

10:21

other, I'm the director, and

10:23

we... Oh, do you? Yeah, we had

10:25

this thought. Are you critical of

10:27

each other? Because you're both really good

10:29

actors. Critical going up, not down.

10:31

We don't criticize down. We go... What

10:33

does that even mean? It means

10:35

we're... He doesn't criticize her vagina. This

10:38

is accurate. Welcome to my

10:40

daughter. This

10:44

is accurate. Wait,

10:46

I'm sorry. Let me just

10:48

take a minute. Jackie? Jackie? Jackie?

10:51

This is a friend of mine. I'm

10:53

crying. No, but Jackie, now let me

10:55

ask you that. What are you doing? I

10:58

don't know. Word vomit. It just comes

11:00

out. Stuff in my head, out my mouth.

11:02

Sorry. I'm sorry. I enjoy

11:04

pushing the envelope and trying to say

11:06

things that are wildly inappropriate, but

11:08

still sweet. Was that a

11:10

planned moment? That wasn't intentional. Not

11:12

the actual. vagina comment, but the idea

11:14

of I'm going to now shake

11:17

things up by being alone. Not intentional.

11:19

I actually have horrible social anxiety,

11:21

so I am my own enemy. But

11:23

that's a good release. Now we're

11:25

all laughing. No, now I need my

11:27

beta blocker. She's got to get

11:29

a beta blocker. Your wife's vagina, the

11:31

issue shouldn't talk about, you don't

11:34

talk about my friend's wife's. Done, I'm

11:36

done. You guys could keep going.

11:38

All right, so. What

11:40

was the question though? I'll answer it. You

11:43

are critical on top, not

11:45

down below. I'm not critical

11:47

of anything. He said we

11:49

criticize up, I don't criticize

11:51

down. Meaning when we give

11:53

each other notes, they're supportive

11:55

notes. It really didn't have

11:58

anything to do with body

12:00

parts. But no, we're

12:02

not letting you go. You

12:04

brought us here. What

12:07

are you doing? I don't know.

12:09

So embarrassed. Me too. I'm very embarrassed.

12:11

You guys are good together. Are

12:13

we? Yeah, you are. Well, how can

12:15

you say we're good together when

12:17

within five minutes he's mentioning, she's mentioning

12:19

unmentionables about a very, this is

12:21

a classy guy. But it's like she's

12:23

a great blocker. She needs one.

12:25

No, no, no. I mean, she can

12:27

run interference for you. She can

12:29

change a subject. If I get boring,

12:31

you know that you have your

12:33

daughter to step in. Ted, you are

12:35

never boring and there's never a

12:38

good time to mention your wife's vagina.

12:40

Criticizing up. Oh, that's what you're

12:42

doing. This is an example.

12:44

Yes. Thank you. Okay. And

12:46

you notice how I haven't partaken in

12:48

this particular conversation about that particular word

12:50

because then Mary can watch this

12:52

and she can't point her finger at

12:54

me. It's all on you. But vagina

12:57

is not a bad word. It's not

12:59

a bad word, but it's usually something

13:01

said in private. When

13:03

are you in private? Well,

13:05

my wife's better be. The

13:15

word vagina always makes me laugh. Anyway, it

13:18

sounds like the good dishes. The vagina is

13:20

something you take out when we have company. The

13:22

good vagina. Right, the

13:24

good vagina. I can see my face

13:26

in it. Okay, so

13:28

that's like a... Anyway.

13:30

Let me give you a...

13:32

You know what the

13:35

24 -hour plays are? They're

13:37

fundraisers. We're like the Atlantic Theater in

13:39

New York had a 24 -hour play.

13:41

It means the actors, directors, and writers

13:43

all get in a room at seven

13:45

o 'clock at night. And the next evening

13:47

at seven, they have created a play,

13:49

and everyone's memorized. a full -on production

13:52

of 1X. And Mary...

13:55

Mary you bring a prop and

13:57

you tell somebody your special skill

13:59

or a costume or something so

14:01

the writers can the actors do

14:03

and the and the writers go

14:05

okay and they maybe I can

14:07

make use of that so anyway

14:09

Mary shows up in the morning

14:11

after the writers have written all

14:13

of this thing and She has

14:15

been given a nude suit Because

14:17

this is a long story. I'm

14:19

sorry All

14:23

right, so her daughter showed God

14:25

up and when it was her turn

14:27

to bring her costume and her

14:29

prop To the writers in the room

14:31

and said this is a nude

14:33

suit That I just want you all

14:35

to know is my mother's Nightmare

14:37

so one of the writers perked up

14:40

and got it and they wrote

14:42

a script for Mary to come in

14:44

the door of this

14:46

one act in her nude suit

14:48

with a little flimsy negligee. And

14:50

the nude suit had been painted

14:52

by my daughter, so it

14:54

was anatomically brilliantly correct. When

14:56

you say that, when you

14:58

say anatomically correct, are you

15:00

talking about 70s correct or

15:02

this millennium correct? No,

15:06

no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

15:09

no, no, no, no, no, no,

15:12

no, no, no, no, no, no,

15:14

no, no, no, 100 % naked

15:16

and and here's the vagina tie -in

15:18

the prop the prop was a

15:20

little box and so the

15:22

writer decided that this grandlady who

15:24

enters and she has a butler

15:27

and everything and she says to

15:29

the butler bring me my party

15:31

Vagina and he comes out

15:33

with this little box Anyway, all

15:35

right, you had to be there

15:37

No, I love that and it's

15:39

not long and it is great

15:41

and the fact that I had

15:44

no idea that the word

15:46

vagina would even come up in

15:48

this discussion and our reuniting of

15:50

Friends it's I love everything you

15:52

do, but thank you then I

15:54

was at first I was

15:56

mad, but now we got the

15:58

party vagina box You weren't mad You

16:01

were amused. At

16:03

your story? No. Your daughter's

16:05

story. I feel like this is good

16:07

clickbait title, like Ted Danson talks vaginas. Oh

16:10

brother, you're not gonna get, you'll be

16:12

high -pressed to get Mary Steenburger on

16:14

your podcast. If I say that, well

16:16

you brought up her party box. I

16:19

did. Okay. Howie Mandel here. Have

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16:49

I love when you asked whether

16:51

it was 70 anatomically correct 70s

16:53

or now he's like no they

16:55

had nipples like that only existed

16:57

either in the 70s no the

16:59

hair the pubic hair yeah I'm

17:01

so confused today I didn't really

17:03

sleep the young people are all

17:05

the young people are shaved anyway

17:07

let's talk about other stuff yeah I

17:10

love I love the new show you and

17:12

I was saying that he's always done a

17:15

show whether it was Cheers whether it was

17:17

Becker whether it was the good place I

17:19

love the good place whether it was how

17:21

many different ones you were a mayor at

17:23

one point you were You were like every

17:25

time I turn on the TV every and

17:27

I don't turn on the TV a lot

17:29

But every time I was turning on the

17:31

TV there was a like a new series

17:34

and I was talking about how Andy Griffith

17:36

did the like the Andy Griffith Mayberry and

17:38

then later on in his his life, he

17:40

was Matlock. But there

17:42

was no real in between. You,

17:44

like, are just jumping from

17:46

series to series, and

17:48

they are so natural to who

17:51

you are. You know, I know

17:53

you're a great actor. You're like a seamless

17:55

actor. But I'm just saying to play a

17:57

guy who could be the inside man as

17:59

opposed to playing Sam Malone on Cheers, which

18:01

is the, you know, it's just

18:03

amazing how writers and creators want

18:05

to create. something for Ted

18:07

Danson because you are just we

18:09

just all want to watch

18:11

you and Well, I just take

18:13

that as a compliment. Yeah, no,

18:16

no, no I mean I don't know

18:18

what to add to that other than

18:20

Everybody says this but it's true It

18:22

is the writing if you have really

18:24

good writing a good storyteller and you

18:26

happen to be a good actor then

18:28

There's a good chance the show will

18:30

be really good, but it does begin

18:32

with the writers and I've been very

18:34

lucky not only that all your it's

18:36

been very diverse your acting career has

18:38

been very diverse whereas a lot of

18:40

actors get pigeonholed into one certain kind

18:42

of character and you've played a variety

18:44

of characters so it's not just the

18:46

writing it's you but thank you yeah

18:48

really a lot of parts they don't

18:50

even know is you you were the

18:52

asian woman in um i was in

18:54

what was that movie the asian woman

18:56

movie Right, but we won't go into

18:58

that because that's so old, but you

19:00

were amazing in it. Did you have

19:02

fun doing this with me? We did

19:04

a fine mess, did you? I did,

19:06

I fun. I had fun with you.

19:10

You are one of my favorite

19:12

people, like you just said. We

19:14

don't have the history of time

19:16

spent together. that warrants enough

19:18

of my affection for you, but I have

19:21

so much affection you. I would do, I

19:23

did not think that I had time to

19:25

come to your podcast or this or that.

19:27

It was yes, and I will always show.

19:29

You have time for this? No, but I

19:31

will show up for you anywhere, any place,

19:33

because I think you're an amazing person. You

19:35

are too. you have such a huge, good,

19:38

big heart. I'm a podcaster too.

19:40

I'm gonna take this over. Yeah, please take

19:42

it over. You have a podcast which

19:44

I've been listening to. You're very good. Thank

19:46

you. And you've been revealing stuff that

19:48

is, I had no idea. No, I haven't.

19:50

Yeah, you have. No. Yeah. Okay. I

19:53

didn't know that you were on the

19:55

outs with Kelsey. I wasn't. You know

19:57

what? Sorry, how

19:59

far do I want to go?

20:01

I wasn't we all the way. No,

20:03

no, no, but I wasn't on

20:05

the outs Kelsey grammar. We're talking about

20:07

I know phrase. Okay, so I'm

20:09

telling the listeners. Oh, yeah Kelsey. Yes

20:11

We we had this conversation on

20:13

air and our podcast on whatever, you

20:15

know and name your podcast on

20:17

the podcast where everybody knows your name

20:19

and With Woody Harrelson. Yes parentheses

20:21

sometimes because he's a whimsical fellow who's

20:23

all over the world acting. So

20:25

when he shows up and he's high

20:28

a lot too. No, not

20:30

when he works when he's not working.

20:32

Yes, he enjoys his marijuana. But

20:34

no, never. I thought that too. When

20:36

we thought about doing our podcast

20:38

together, I couldn't keep up with them.

20:40

Right. I can't be stoned and

20:42

work. He's like a better looking Willie

20:44

Nelson. He's amazing. Yes.

20:46

Somebody called him a redneck hippie. And

20:48

that's. kind of woody. He's a redneck

20:50

hippie. He's a combination of, he's a

20:52

bunch of contradictions. You know, he gets

20:54

into, he used to the young woody

20:56

would get into a bar fight and

20:59

have his car hijacked all in the

21:01

same night. And you'd go, oh, okay,

21:03

he's that guy. And then he would

21:05

say, and here's some poetry I've written.

21:07

And when you come to the play

21:09

that I wrote and produced and I'm

21:11

acting in, he's this bundle of contradictions,

21:14

which is why I love him. He

21:16

takes a huge bite out of life

21:18

where I'm kind of Very

21:20

careful and cautious and you know

21:22

linear and boring. I don't think

21:24

you're boring. So finished if the

21:26

Kelsey grammar story, okay Kelsey All

21:28

of this Kelsey has written books

21:30

about and talked about and in

21:32

the press about so I'm not

21:35

revealing anything but he was Under

21:37

the influence of alcohol and drugs

21:39

during some of the years of

21:41

shooting Cheers. Yes, and he's been

21:43

sober for a huge amount of

21:45

years. So it's You know in

21:47

the past in the past this

21:49

is all in the past a

21:51

long time ago and At one

21:53

point we had an intervention and

21:55

we did lots of things and

21:58

were you part of his intervention? And

22:00

finally the whole cast was and writers

22:02

and directors and everybody and finally I went

22:04

up to his dressing room and I

22:06

said I've told you how much I love

22:09

you I You know da da da

22:11

da da, but I have not told you

22:13

how fucking pissed off I am at

22:15

you. I'm so angry at you And

22:18

I felt the need to say that

22:20

to be real or whatever. And he took

22:22

it well and all of that, but

22:24

it was a moment. And

22:26

then life went on. It

22:28

was towards the end of the

22:30

run of Cheers. And

22:32

we didn't, I mean, I

22:35

saw him here or there,

22:37

but very rarely. And it

22:39

felt like probably because I

22:41

hadn't completed that moment. And

22:44

I had walked away without it being

22:46

really complete. So maybe that's why I

22:48

didn't reach out to him or whatever.

22:50

I don't know. So it was very

22:52

simple in our podcast. It was a

22:54

very simple conversation, but it got blown

22:56

up by the press. But

22:58

did he, maybe two people always have

23:00

a different experience. So his interpretation after

23:02

that was, was it his interpretation? The

23:05

fact that you were avoiding him and

23:07

you, from what I read and listened

23:09

to that you haven't talked in 30

23:11

years. No, but we have a little

23:13

bit, but not a lot. But I

23:15

think what happened to me was in

23:17

the room talking to him, it was

23:19

like, Oh my God, I'm really having

23:21

the best time talking to you. and

23:23

Woody was there and we were all

23:26

three of us talking and it was

23:28

it was so much fun to be

23:30

around Kelsey that I went oh shoot

23:32

I've wasted these 30 years of no

23:34

Kelsey and why was that was it

23:36

because of that so anyway I felt

23:38

like I needed to apologize for not

23:40

reaching out to him because this is

23:42

so much fun to be with you

23:45

now so it really wasn't like I

23:47

was saying boy was I pissed at

23:49

you and And I held a grudge

23:51

and all of that. That's

23:53

not what happened. It really was. I'm having

23:55

so much fun. I wish I hadn't let

23:57

these years go by without reaching out. So

23:59

then is there any truth to the fact

24:01

that they may bring back Fraser and you're

24:03

going to be part of that? I

24:06

don't know about the bring back Fraser

24:08

part. He asked me

24:10

several times over the years to be

24:12

part of it. And I did not

24:14

because I was angry at Kelsey or

24:17

anything, mostly because I didn't know how

24:19

to. How the fuck do you play

24:21

Sam Malone in his 60s or now

24:23

70s? You know, it's amusing to be

24:25

an aging adolescent when you're in your

24:27

30s, 40s, but not when you're in

24:29

your 70s. So I thought, I don't

24:32

know how to do that. And it

24:34

wouldn't be the Cheers writers and it

24:36

wouldn't probably probably wouldn't have been. Maybe

24:38

it would have been Jimmy Burroughs, the

24:40

director. So I would have felt

24:42

like at sea. I wouldn't know how to

24:44

do it. That's why. So you said

24:46

no. Yeah. Okay. The no part

24:48

is not written. there's I think in

24:50

in press when when you look it

24:52

up that there seems to be a

24:55

oh no then then there was sorry

24:57

that was over the years and then

24:59

recently in the last year I did

25:01

say absolutely ask me and I will

25:03

come do it because I felt like

25:05

not only oh did to him but

25:07

I wanted to So

25:09

you know that he did so

25:11

he relaunched Fraser it got cancelled

25:13

I think after seasons yeah, and

25:15

now what I've been reading is

25:17

there's a possibility of it coming

25:19

back with you I I don't

25:21

know that I would I could

25:23

if he came back with and

25:25

he asked me to do a

25:27

an episode or something Yeah, I

25:29

would if it But not as

25:31

you write to a regular you

25:33

haven't you have a series no,

25:36

and I yeah, and here's another

25:38

reason why I would do an

25:40

episode of anything, but a half

25:42

hour scares the crap out of

25:44

me. No! Yes, yes, jokes. early

25:46

milieu. Yes, but

25:48

the three -camera live audience

25:50

has not been my milieu

25:52

for many years. I

25:55

much prefer now comedy that

25:57

is character -based and not three

25:59

jokes per page, which is what

26:01

half -hour comedy, by definition, is.

26:03

And I couldn't do that

26:05

anymore. If I see a joke,

26:08

if I see a joke line, if

26:10

it's a reversal joke or a

26:12

data, data joke or rhythm joke or

26:14

something, I go, Oh, I'm so

26:16

sorry. This scares the crap out

26:18

of me. Can we do it differently?

26:21

I don't know why. Maybe that made your

26:23

whole career. I know, I know. Just

26:26

scares me now. Wow. You were really

26:28

funny and good on Curb, but that single

26:30

camera, it's different and real. And

26:32

there are no joke jokes.

26:34

No, no. It's really a situation,

26:36

situational comedy. That was fun.

26:39

And more improv. Isn't that more improv? He lets

26:41

you guys kind of go with whatever. Well,

26:43

it's improv. What he does

26:45

when he writes a script, or he

26:47

spends three, four, or five months

26:49

working on this with a writer friend

26:51

or two. Jeff. Yeah, Jeff.

26:54

And you, like all comedies, you break down

26:56

the year. Here's what the year is

26:58

going to be about. All right. Here's what

27:01

this episode will have this arc and

27:03

then, OK, this scene needs to do this

27:05

and that. And here's what each scene

27:07

kind of breaks down into. And then you

27:09

usually hand that outline to a writer

27:11

to go write the dialogue. He takes it

27:13

right up to the point where you

27:15

would hand it to a writer to write

27:18

the dialogue and stops. So

27:20

you have this detailed, he doesn't

27:22

necessarily give all the actors the detailed

27:24

outline, but they have a very

27:26

clear idea of what it is. Then

27:28

you improvise. Yeah. And you were

27:30

great. You were great. I love you. I knew

27:32

my job. Yeah, but

27:34

that was a different job than you've

27:36

had on any other project, right?

27:38

Yes, very much so. But my job,

27:40

your job, if you're on Curb

27:43

Your Enthusiasm is to push Larry David

27:45

into the metaphorical corner so he

27:47

gets frustrated and then comes bursting out

27:49

more Larry. more inappropriate Larry. You

27:51

guys are friends though, off camera. Yes.

27:53

Are you friends with Cheryl, Heinz? Yes,

27:56

I mean, both of them, I don't see. Oh,

27:58

that's what was gonna ask you if you had

28:00

any insight on how Cheryl is dealing her

28:02

husband. I don't, and it kind of

28:05

felt like none of my business, I'm

28:07

acting with you and I enjoy my

28:09

acting. No, I just mean to ask

28:11

her in the moment. Maybe I did

28:13

once, actually. You did? I just said,

28:15

how are you? Oh. And it was

28:17

hard, you know. It

28:19

was hard. I don't mean personally

28:21

hard. I mean it's hard To

28:23

be married to a very controversial

28:25

person. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah,

28:27

and it didn't seem like in

28:29

that Environment everybody that she seems

28:31

to be working with and friends

28:33

with from Larry to you you

28:36

are obviously really good friends with

28:38

the Clintons and right things it

28:40

was just like Right, it just

28:42

seemed like you're from a different

28:44

World right commenting on that but

28:46

that had to make it hard

28:48

even like she didn't have anybody

28:50

at work to bounce off of

28:52

you know I because my wife

28:54

Mary Steen virgin grew up in

28:56

Little Rock, Arkansas and became best

28:58

friends with the Clintons when he

29:00

was governor and she was had

29:02

just won an Academy Award and

29:04

she was more famous than them,

29:06

but they became great buddies and

29:08

friends I mean he is like

29:10

her big brother Literally he gave

29:12

her away at our wedding So

29:14

I was I was around them

29:16

through Mary throughout all of this

29:18

process and I Not learned but

29:20

it was clear them Our roles

29:22

were as friends, you know when

29:24

we're not political. No, did you

29:27

I don't you ask them political

29:29

questions? No, I don't if they

29:31

offer it. I'm fascinated, but I'm

29:33

not my job isn't To do

29:35

that. It's to be a good

29:37

if somebody wants me to know

29:39

something if Cheryl wanted me to

29:41

know what it was like to

29:43

be with Bobby at this point

29:45

She would tell me and then

29:47

I would have an opinion or

29:49

a thought or a what but

29:51

until somebody tells me I feel

29:53

like none of my business I

29:55

know I'm sounding like a holier

29:57

than now, but you're sounding you're

29:59

sounding like a like a political I

30:06

think I think though that it's

30:08

true that's true too even just

30:10

as a friend though any friend

30:12

that is Going through something and

30:14

I mean going through something because

30:17

there's so much attention Yeah on

30:19

them and their relationship or whatever

30:21

that no matter what your political

30:23

views are That must be hard

30:25

for that person in general and

30:27

so just as a friend I

30:30

would think that you would be like,

30:32

hey, are you okay? Is everything okay?

30:34

Just generally. Yes, and if the answer

30:36

is yes or yes or no comment.

30:38

Do you to take a minute and

30:40

phone her and then get some juice?

30:42

We could get more insight. And

30:44

then I'll ask you what she said

30:47

and then no. Talk about her private? No.

30:50

Yeah, open her fun box her party

30:52

box ask her about her party

30:54

box What else did I want it

30:56

you are do you partake of

30:58

any you seem to be always in

31:00

a in a really good place

31:02

in in as far Well, I don't

31:05

know you that well. I don't

31:07

know you that closely. I love you,

31:09

but we don't spend time Do

31:11

you have a are you a meditator?

31:13

Why do we love each other

31:15

without the? Maybe because we don't

31:17

spend time, they say distance makes the

31:19

heart grow fond you. That's why my

31:21

mom loves him too. That's true. I've

31:23

been married for 45 years and people

31:25

always ask, how does it work? How

31:27

is Terry? She's great. She's in the

31:29

building. You'll say hi. Oh, really? Yes.

31:32

I have her Velcro, not

31:34

chain to an area. Your

31:37

mother's Velcro room. Okay,

31:40

so... Say hi to her or

31:42

I will. You can't. You should. On

31:44

the way out. She works here. She

31:46

works here. very cool. It is very cool. You

31:48

are a mogul, man. No, not a mogul. I'm just

31:51

in a building with my family. And he puts

31:53

his wife and kids to work. Yeah.

31:55

Why go to China when you can have

31:57

the children working here? Is

32:00

that wrong? You don't have to go

32:02

to China. You just step into one

32:04

of your magic boxes. Yes, into the

32:06

proto. But do you

32:08

partake of any? Are you

32:10

into meditation? Are you into

32:12

exercises? do you keep?

32:14

Because you're incredibly alert. I'm

32:16

fascinated by the fact that you seem

32:19

to have the energy to do what you

32:21

do. You're always doing something. If I'm

32:23

not seeing you in an ad, I'm seeing

32:25

you on television. I'm seeing you in

32:27

a series. I'm seeing you podcasting. I'm seeing

32:29

you, what is your regimen? Wow.

32:34

All right, I do physical stuff. It would

32:36

be more, it's more rehab than going

32:38

to the gym, but I do go to

32:40

the gym. I

32:43

eat well, but really I

32:45

am really happy. You're a

32:47

pescatarian, right? I'm a

32:49

Hollywood actor so one week

32:51

I'm one thing one but basically

32:53

I'm closer to plant -based and

32:56

I don't eat red meat

32:58

anymore except I'll go out and

33:00

have a hamburger and you'll

33:02

catch that on social media or

33:04

something but I don't I

33:06

really eat mostly vegetables now and

33:08

some fish Do you

33:10

have a guru that you

33:12

follow? Like, do you

33:14

have a... No, here's... This

33:16

is going to sound

33:18

sappy, but my relationship to

33:20

Mary is such a

33:22

source of joy and happiness

33:24

and so fully honest

33:26

and well -rounded that that

33:28

is... If I'm real and

33:30

present in my relationship

33:33

with Mary, I've handled

33:35

everything. that

33:37

I need to handle. And I

33:39

don't always live in that space. But

33:41

I mean, how I find my

33:43

way in life is with my

33:45

relationship with Mary. Have you ever

33:47

listened to Nancy Fithow? No. Nancy

33:50

Fithow is a listener of

33:52

ours who sends us inspirational

33:54

words that helps me through

33:56

life. Can you play one

33:58

of Nancy's... Videos and

34:00

tell me what you think of

34:02

this and if this would work

34:04

for you if this helps you

34:07

at all This is Nancy one

34:09

of our listeners who sends us

34:11

You can look at it right

34:13

down here sometimes you gotta wake

34:15

up and drink some coffee Eat

34:18

a donut Make yourself feel better. Oh

34:20

Don't worry about things that

34:23

goes on around you Just

34:25

have you a good day

34:27

and God bless you Totally

34:30

right on. Totally

34:33

right on. You get it right. Especially, first

34:35

off, coffee. It

34:37

is the one major drug

34:39

that I still in by

34:41

bin that I love, coffee.

34:44

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35:15

for this coffee. Maybe not donut,

35:17

but something that pleases you afterwards

35:19

I'm not into sugar at the

35:21

moment, but my coffee is a

35:24

source of great joy You're not

35:26

into sugar at the moment What

35:28

did you ask for right before we on?

35:30

Sugar. I said sugar. Oh, you just got into

35:32

it. Yeah. I didn't say I

35:34

didn't eat it. I said this moment. I

35:36

was I was getting this moment mixed up

35:38

with the moments like moments ago. Thank you.

35:40

Like I told you, I'm a Hollywood actor.

35:42

It changes moment to moment. Yes. Okay. But

35:45

everything else too. It's

35:48

the moment. How long have

35:50

you been doing your podcast? I'm

35:52

not answering any more questions until I know what

35:55

that is. This is

35:57

Oh my gosh. This

35:59

is a plaque from

36:01

YouTube. Thank you. Thank

36:03

you listeners and supporters. A hundred

36:05

thousand. What happened? You

36:07

just got an award because. Right.

36:11

And the thing is. No, no, no.

36:13

Award from YouTube because. I

36:15

got a hundred thousand. A hundred

36:17

thousand. What? I don't know. Subscribers.

36:19

Subscribers. That's wonderful. Congratulations. Thank

36:21

you. Thank you. Do

36:23

you have one? you have one? No,

36:26

I don't. Well, this

36:28

is the future buddy. Tell

36:30

me again what YouTube is

36:32

Close not really no, I

36:34

know it's your podcast video

36:36

to yeah, yeah, it is

36:38

he's with the Conan group,

36:40

right? Yep, and It is

36:42

really good. It is are

36:44

you enjoying this process? I

36:46

really really truly am because

36:48

I don't hang out with

36:50

people you know what are

36:52

you a recluse no i

36:54

hang out with my wife

36:56

or i work and i

36:58

have grandchildren and kids galore

37:00

so i nothing pleases me

37:02

more than to hang out

37:04

with my family that's real

37:06

fun is what you're saying

37:08

this is not fun but

37:10

this being here yeah be

37:12

honest no i don't know

37:14

i enjoy it because no

37:16

no no no we it

37:18

is fun because It's

37:21

work oriented and really that's what

37:23

I tried it. That's the vibe I

37:25

try to get yeah, no, but

37:27

I mean it is it is work.

37:29

We're sitting here Talking to each

37:31

other with cameras. This is not

37:33

a casual. Let's have a beer at a bar

37:36

Well, obviously you haven't been in my house because

37:38

this is how it is in my house, too

37:40

The no, but you don't have a beer and

37:42

you're not in a bar. What do you mean

37:44

you have cameras and Mike's I want everybody I

37:46

want my wife to hear me clearly and I

37:48

wanted to see me a certain way I love

37:50

filters. You

37:52

kind of do, don't you? You got

37:54

to. At this age, buddy, we

37:57

got to use whatever we can use.

37:59

But you're amazing. Do you talk about your

38:01

age? Yeah.

38:04

I was going to say, I don't want

38:06

to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm

38:08

77. I'll be 78

38:11

in December 29. Wow.

38:13

And people always mention the fact that

38:15

you are tall for your age,

38:17

right? No, no, okay. I don't

38:19

think you say tall for your age. Why

38:21

unless you're 12 or 10 I said it

38:23

now. I'm gonna be 70 this year I'm

38:25

looking at you you're seven years older than

38:27

me and you are much taller than me

38:29

so I consider you tall for your age

38:31

But I've always been taller than you. You've

38:33

always been tall for your age Haven't you

38:35

was there a time? Fair

38:37

enough. I was always tall for my age.

38:39

Maybe not when you were six months Did

38:42

they say you were long for your age?

38:44

No, they call me the professor because I

38:46

was so serious They

38:48

didn't say anything about long. He

38:50

was serious for his age. You were serious

38:52

for your age? just had a serious look on

38:54

my face. I was just trying to figure

38:56

out. I didn't understand my family probably from the

38:58

very beginning. So I had a very serious

39:00

look on face. But you had a serious life

39:02

upbringing. Your dad's an archeologist, right? Yes.

39:05

was an archeologist. He was

39:07

always in the backyard digging

39:09

up stuff? Digging

39:11

up stuff, not in the backyard. Why

39:13

are laughing? Digging up people and

39:16

things, yeah. Just because he's an archeologist

39:18

doesn't mean he goes outside to

39:20

the backyard with a shovel and digs.

39:22

That's not his job. Those are

39:24

serial killers. Yeah. But

39:26

the digging ups up, you were right.

39:28

And it was just in other people's

39:30

backyards. In front of me, in front

39:32

of people. OK. OK. So

39:34

this is what I mean.

39:37

The banter. Is that banter?

39:39

Yeah, it's banter. Reprimanding

39:41

I was reprimanding. No, I do

39:43

that. I'm a very I don't think

39:45

he's really mad at me I'm

39:47

gonna be that he's gonna put me

39:49

in the Velcro room next. That's

39:51

what he does. How does that work?

39:54

Yeah, are you wearing the Not

39:56

yet. We have a jacket out there

39:58

that the back has Velcro all

40:00

over it and he like ties down

40:02

your arms and He'll

40:04

just put you up against the

40:06

wall discipline Ted discipline. It's the

40:08

key to life. It really is

40:10

You have been on for a

40:12

long time on television and in

40:14

front of the people's eyes. How

40:16

do you edit this? We

40:19

don't we don't You have

40:21

you said anything that

40:23

you don't want us to

40:25

repeat nope You're

40:27

worried about what we're saying, not what he's

40:29

saying. I'm fine. It's over

40:31

there that you may have some

40:33

trouble with. No, we don't add.

40:35

I think that this is the

40:38

opportunity that I have to do

40:40

and say what I want. Otherwise,

40:42

everything else is really heavily sanctioned

40:44

on anything else that I do.

40:47

Except stand -up. I love stand -up. I still do a

40:49

lot of stand -up. I

40:52

was trying to get to this. We did a

40:54

fine mess. Let me go back a question. Can you

40:56

hold that? But here's what I

40:58

love. This position or this idea? This position. I

41:01

love doing podcasts because I would not

41:03

naturally sit down and talk to you

41:05

and find out what makes you tick.

41:07

And I love, I'm curious about what

41:09

makes you howie howie. So you're gonna

41:11

have to come on my podcast. I

41:13

will definitely come on. I wanted to

41:15

come on. I was waiting to be

41:17

asked. Yeah,

41:19

no I get scared I got like I had

41:21

a I had a guest on the other week and

41:23

I went you have a podcast Who's who would

41:26

you like to have on and I was like? Leading

41:29

leading and nothing happened didn't say me shit

41:31

And then saw somebody else in the building

41:33

and said hey walked by and went would

41:35

you be on my podcast? And I was

41:37

standing there and I'm going really Really?

41:41

And still, no, not gonna say. Can

41:43

I take this hand down now? Okay,

41:45

so what I wanted to ask you is

41:48

when we did this movie, we did a fine

41:50

mess. Which movie? The one you're pointing at?

41:52

Yes, a fine mess. With

41:54

Blake Edwards, I was so excited to

41:56

work with Blake Edwards. Me too. He

41:59

wasn't in a good place at that time.

42:01

He was not. No. He

42:03

had Epstein Barr. He was one

42:05

of the first people to be diagnosed

42:08

with that kind of very sad

42:10

thing where you're depressed all the time

42:12

and lethargic. I tell the

42:14

story all the time. The very

42:16

first day we looked at each other

42:18

because he had his, I think

42:20

we were at the racetrack and he

42:22

had his trailer about 20 yards

42:25

away from where we were shooting. So

42:27

he walked out and we, and

42:29

he said, okay. let me see how

42:32

you're going to do this usually you

42:34

would have a big rehearsal and say

42:36

let me see which what you want

42:38

to do and we okay and we

42:40

did this scene for i'm not you

42:42

know and he went great light it

42:44

and walked back to his trailer then

42:46

he came back once it was lit

42:48

and said action and you and I

42:51

did our scene and then he said

42:53

cut and he walked back to his

42:55

trailer and that 90 % of the

42:57

time unless a camera fell apart or

42:59

there was a camera problem was what

43:01

happened every time he said action you

43:03

and I were in the movie because

43:05

first off there were no close -ups and

43:08

you know he was so he did

43:10

a master they would like like he

43:12

got let me see what you're gonna

43:14

do okay light it they would take

43:16

forever because it was the master and

43:18

he would do like two or three

43:20

pages in one shot yes and he

43:22

there was no input No

43:25

input, you know, so and this is my

43:27

first big movie. This is my and

43:29

you and I'll be nervous. I was third

43:31

or fourth for me. But I was

43:33

really nervous. Your cheers was at its height

43:35

and you were a big star. And

43:37

I was just so excited to be

43:39

working with Ted Dance and and and Blake

43:42

Edwards. And it was a massive set.

43:44

It was like the production was, you know,

43:46

two miles of trailers going on forever

43:48

in trucks and cranes. And we took

43:50

over Hollywood Park. And it's my first day

43:52

and there's like the caterer has lobster.

43:54

I've never been on a set like that

43:56

was so overblown Hollywood. And then he

43:59

comes out the first thing he says is

44:01

show me how you're going to do

44:03

this. And I look at you and you

44:05

know, you say a line, I say

44:07

a line, you say a line, I say

44:09

a line. He goes a good light

44:11

it. And then I go back to the

44:14

no input and we go back to

44:16

the trailer and sit for like five hours

44:18

while they like this. And then we

44:20

go do exactly what we did. He

44:22

says, cut. You're saying walk back

44:24

to the trailer. He walked back to a

44:27

helicopter and flew back to Malibu. So I go,

44:29

are we going to cover it? They go,

44:31

no, he went home. He went home. I

44:33

was the most insecure I have

44:35

ever been in my life. Me

44:37

too. And we'd have

44:39

actors, guest stars come on and go,

44:41

is this the way it always is?

44:43

And we go, yep. Literally when

44:45

he said action you knew you were

44:47

gonna be in the movie because he

44:50

didn't cut to over the shoulders It

44:52

was always a roving master where something

44:54

funny was happening in the background and

44:56

you Richard Mulligan. Yeah

44:59

Yeah, it was wild. It was really and

45:01

like and we were sandwiched between I

45:03

think he had just done ten and then

45:05

after us he did like Victor Victoria,

45:07

you know like he did two killer movies

45:09

and then during this depression Yeah, which

45:11

I you know I tell a story that

45:13

he told me and I don't know

45:15

if it's his story But it's a story

45:17

that he told me that I tell I've

45:20

told it a thousand times, but he told this

45:22

great story. And I put it in my book,

45:24

and it's the thing that stuck with me. He told

45:26

a story about this guy that was in this

45:28

incredible, you might have been sitting with me when he

45:30

told the story. He was an incredible, he

45:33

was depressed, and he wanted to

45:35

end it all. And he had been going to

45:37

this psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist said, you

45:39

know, I've tried, Hypnosis

45:42

it didn't work. We've tried medication. It

45:44

didn't work. I've tried you know exposure therapy

45:46

It didn't work and this this guy's

45:48

in the corner in the fetal position just

45:50

crying and goes I'm gonna end it

45:52

all and the doctor says please please please

45:55

Don't end up can we try one

45:57

more thing and the one more thing is

45:59

the circus has come to town and

46:01

Bosco the clown is there and Bosco the

46:03

clown is the one He has made

46:05

the world laugh like nobody has ever made

46:07

the world laugh, right? Do you remember

46:09

the story? No, keep going. He had made

46:11

the world laugh like, no, people have

46:14

almost died laughing. And if you could laugh,

46:16

if you could laugh through your pain,

46:18

there's an endorphin that is released through laughter

46:20

that will just bring you to the

46:22

height and might be the cure. I just

46:24

have to try to make you laugh.

46:26

And there's no body on earth that has

46:28

the power to make somebody laugh like

46:30

Bosco. And I've got two tickets, please, before

46:33

you end it, let me just take

46:35

you to see Bosco and through his tears.

46:37

This man gets out of the fetal

46:39

position, looks up at the doctor and

46:41

says, doctor, I am Bosco.

46:44

Oh, oh, that's wonderful.

46:47

I know. Oh, it's amazing story. It

46:49

is an amazing story. And it stuck

46:51

with me. And he told me that

46:53

story. And I was thinking that's you.

46:55

That's us. But it's everybody who

46:57

tries to make people happy are always the.

46:59

But it was the most beautiful. It's

47:02

not us. It's the stand up

47:04

in you stand up to me is

47:07

that. It's may end up is

47:09

Bosco. It's you're on your own. You

47:11

have this instant feedback. To

47:13

me you're like a warrior. I

47:15

could not do that. Thank you But

47:17

I do it because I need

47:19

it and I do it because I

47:21

am I feel like Bosco a

47:23

lot of the time and and life

47:26

is really hard and mental health

47:28

is really hard But you you seem

47:30

to have and I don't know

47:32

if it's your cadence I don't know

47:34

if it's your but you seem

47:36

to have this this Zen kind of

47:38

calm It's tall guys Really

47:40

guys are oh, they're like no

47:42

no no no I'm friends with

47:44

Howard Stern and Howard Stern does

47:46

not have a zen yeah does

47:48

not have he's the husband Her

47:50

husband is the most neurotic guy.

47:52

I know he's six five. Yeah,

47:54

did you say neurotic or erotic?

47:57

I have not seen his vagina

47:59

my husband Nor howards So

48:01

it could be speaking of which

48:04

oh, no, what kind of

48:06

underpants do you wear? Go

48:08

on I have these man

48:10

-made underpants and they're this

48:13

is a brand from Canada

48:15

the most amazing underpants ever

48:17

What size are you? Go

48:19

on. No, you go on. What size

48:21

do what size are you large? Yeah

48:26

dad whoa that's water it's okay

48:28

water okay you can open it

48:30

but try these on or wait

48:32

you don't have to why if

48:34

you want to but you don't

48:36

have to try them on now

48:38

you just take oh look at

48:40

these i know they're the softest

48:42

there's they don't uh they don't

48:44

crawl up your what's the back

48:46

there's a back pocket it's not

48:49

a no you'll be wearing it

48:51

backwards if you have i put

48:53

my wallet in there There's

48:56

a back pocket. That

48:59

is so great. No, that's the front.

49:01

That's the front. I understand. But what's

49:04

the pouch doing on the outside? What?

49:07

What? Look, I'm looking at this.

49:09

You handed it to me. I it. OK. Use

49:11

your finger. Yeah. OK. Use your

49:13

finger and make the pouch work.

49:15

I just did. No, no, no. You

49:17

pull down the, you pull, pull

49:19

down and pull. This is

49:21

a fly. Instead of the side.

49:24

Instead of the side. Yeah. But maybe you

49:26

gave man -made an idea. You can wear them

49:28

backwards and you can carry your your wallet

49:30

there. You can keep your wallet. If

49:32

you have a really strong bladder,

49:35

you put your man -made boxer briefs

49:37

on backwards, and you can carry, and

49:39

when you're traveling through Europe, when you're

49:41

traveling and you're safe, because there are

49:43

pickpockets there, in Europe, right? These

49:46

are great European travel pants. Man

49:49

-made European travel pants. Or you could

49:52

just travel lightly and put some

49:54

socks in there. Your son just to

49:56

the matinee roll. Yeah. Yes in

49:58

Hanson. I am gonna take these I'll

50:00

try I'll try the wallet But

50:02

no, we're at the right way. Okay.

50:04

We're at the right way They're

50:06

actually one of our sponsors and but

50:08

I love them and that's what

50:11

I'm wearing I'm wearing them I love

50:13

them and I'm so comfortable and

50:15

I'm wearing them the right way But

50:17

now this got wet because I

50:19

spilled water and now I don't really

50:21

I'm a little nervous Yeah,

50:23

but they are moisture wicking. But

50:25

let's give him a new bit. Will you

50:28

give him some new largest dry ones? Thank you

50:30

for my underwear. He wants dry underpants. You

50:32

wear dry underpants. Always. We want to know, we

50:34

get things out of guests that other podcasts

50:36

don't get. Yeah. Always dry. Your underpants are always

50:38

dry. Yeah. You know, during the COVID, I

50:40

went, you can give them, you can come in

50:42

and give them to him. COVID,

50:45

did that fuck you up? Bad. Yeah. Like really

50:47

bad. Thank you. Why are you putting it in

50:49

the puddles of water? That's why we

50:51

have a podcast. That's why we have

50:53

a podcast. You know, this came out of COVID because

50:55

she wouldn't come see me because I'm older. So we

50:57

used to talk on the phone and then I'd call

50:59

friends and we would. you zoomed the

51:01

podcast. Yeah. We both have mental health issues.

51:03

So we were the same. We were both locked away. Is

51:07

this a joke or true? No, that's

51:09

true. True. For you. I know it's

51:11

true for him. Yeah. I think it's

51:13

genetic. Maybe some of it is learned

51:15

behavior. But we both have. You're blaming

51:17

me. We all have. Issues,

51:20

but you're saying you have similar

51:22

like issues She's got different, but yes,

51:24

okay almost work. She suffers No,

51:26

you're fine. You can ask yeah, and

51:28

we could say we don't want

51:30

to talk about it But we're kind

51:33

of we believe as a family

51:35

That being open about mental health. I

51:37

always talk about I talk about

51:39

that the problem with our society is

51:41

it isn't talked about and if

51:43

we took care of our mental health

51:45

and Felt as comfortable about it

51:47

as we do with our dental health.

51:50

Yes Things in our world would

51:52

be so much better and for some

51:54

reason we're willing to talk about

51:56

drug issues But almost you know almost

51:58

all of the drug issues are

52:00

mental health issues. So right and it

52:02

seems crazy that we're not addressing

52:04

mental health absolutely you know if you

52:07

say my back hurts and you're

52:09

in an office in the Midwest a

52:11

thousand people will hand you a

52:13

card for their chiropractor yeah if you

52:15

go I can't function I can't

52:17

stop crying I'm hearing voices you will

52:19

be not only nobody will help

52:21

you you'll probably be ridiculed you know

52:24

publicly in in you know I'm

52:26

maybe outside and I'm going the Midwest

52:28

because LA there seems to be

52:30

a little bit of in LA proper

52:32

not if you go to Palmdale

52:34

or San Bernardino or whatever but there

52:36

seems to be a little more

52:38

openness around this business you know where

52:41

or people who know people in

52:43

the business but traditionally people don't talk

52:45

about it and I know that

52:47

you and I have have our causes

52:49

that's my cause and I've gone

52:51

and talked on Capitol Hill about insurance

52:53

companies at least mirroring the

52:55

funding for mental health that

52:57

they do for physical health.

52:59

You've gone to Capitol Hill.

53:01

He is saving the oceans.

53:03

Can you imagine if we

53:06

taught mental health in the

53:08

appropriate age appropriate way from

53:10

the very beginning of education

53:12

so people's sense of self

53:14

was healthy. and that

53:16

you didn't have to compete to prove

53:18

for you. You could handle so

53:20

many things at an early age. But

53:22

that's why I compare it to

53:24

mental health. Because even when nothing hurts,

53:27

your parents, before you even enter

53:29

school, are taking you to the dentist.

53:31

And they to be commercial. Look, mom,

53:33

no cavities. They clean your teeth. They

53:36

see that they're grown. The ones that aren't

53:38

grown in yet, they'll put you a

53:40

little Invisalign so that they can grow

53:42

in properly. Why isn't there something in

53:44

place? curriculum where a professional

53:46

can ask questions to see how you're

53:48

reacting. I think a lot of

53:50

these, a lot of our crime, a

53:52

lot of our mass shootings, a

53:54

lot of productivity would be so changed,

53:56

but it's so simple. But

53:59

the truth of the matter is if

54:01

you saw somebody lying on the street in

54:03

front of you, if somebody fell in

54:05

front of you and they

54:07

fell through a glass and there was blood everywhere.

54:09

You would pick up your phone and you would

54:11

call 911 and you'd make sure you stayed with

54:13

them until that person was taken care of, right?

54:16

If you see somebody on the street yelling

54:18

out to somebody who's not there, you pretend

54:20

you don't see it and you walk around.

54:22

We kind of avoid mental health. There's no

54:24

compassion or empathy for mental health like there

54:26

is for anything physical. If you see somebody

54:29

break their leg, you're there. Suck it up,

54:31

you know. Pull up your

54:33

bootstraps. That's my little soapbox. no, no,

54:35

it's not a soapbox That's one of

54:37

the reasons and I know this about

54:39

you that I really truly love you

54:41

and respect you That you you have

54:43

embraced that and you have raised money

54:45

for that and you are talking about

54:47

that because it's Only by that that

54:49

you can maybe approach You know a

54:51

cure or let people you know someone

54:53

will listen to to manage I just

54:55

want to I want to cope with

54:57

our society You know people talk about

54:59

the homeless here in LA like that's

55:01

a It's a big issue here in

55:03

LA. 90 % of the

55:05

homeless issues are mental health.

55:08

And whether that mental health is addiction,

55:10

whether it's schizophrenia, whether it's...

55:12

It is. It's not about putting

55:14

a roof over their heads. You

55:16

could put them into shelter. They'll

55:18

walk out and just be the

55:20

same. So that's the serious

55:23

part of this conversation. No, a great part.

55:25

It is great. This was the best

55:27

part so far. I agree. And the oceans,

55:29

are you happy? Are you concerned now? How's

55:32

your house in Malibu? We're

55:34

out of it for a while. It survived,

55:37

and it's getting cleaned, and it'll take

55:39

two months to literally be able

55:41

to get back in. And are you

55:43

concerned that the runoff from these

55:45

fires are fucking up? Yeah,

55:47

they are. I'm sure they are. I

55:50

mean, the ocean has an amazing ability to

55:52

heal itself if you let it, but

55:54

it'll be a while before you should be

55:56

swimming anywhere near the, you know. And

55:58

it wasn't good to begin with. Our beaches

56:00

are not, we shouldn't be

56:02

proud of the clarity of our

56:04

beaches. No, especially Santa Monica Bay, because

56:06

we dumped DDT barrels of it

56:08

in, you know, the 40s, 50s. Anyway,

56:12

yeah, the ocean. But that's good. We should talk about that too.

56:14

You don't like that. No, no, I do, I do, I

56:16

do. If

56:18

you want to talk about

56:20

California There's so many

56:22

local organizations that are really

56:24

good at it ocean

56:26

is really more of a

56:28

worldwide Changing policies worldwide

56:30

to in essence put more

56:32

fish back, you know

56:35

in in the ocean because

56:37

if you manage your

56:39

fisheries successfully and sustainably Around

56:41

most of the world,

56:43

you know, you would then

56:45

be able to feed people one

56:48

billion fish meals a day if

56:50

you could quantify landed fish that

56:52

way one billion fish meals a

56:54

day and that in especially the

56:56

southern hemisphere is about women's health

56:58

and you know, children's health, making

57:00

sure they get all the right

57:03

nutrients in their body early on.

57:05

So if you don't, if you

57:07

just go, you know, screw regulations,

57:09

who cares? It's the Wild West,

57:11

just get as much as you

57:13

can. You run the risk of

57:15

fishing out the oceans, and it's

57:17

not just about fish, it's about

57:20

health and food. Food,

57:22

if you talk about food security, you

57:24

get people's attention. If you talk about fish,

57:26

you put people to sleep. I

57:29

saw a documentary called Seaspiracy. I

57:31

think that's what it, do you

57:34

know what that is? No, but

57:36

go on. The whole documentary is

57:38

about the fishing industry and how

57:40

that is the biggest problem facing...

57:42

today and how it's destroying the

57:44

oceans and the fish supplies and

57:46

even like the fishing nets and

57:49

the Pollution that they drop into

57:51

the seas and stuff like that

57:53

and having more regulations on the

57:55

fishing industry, right? And it's not

57:57

all I mean Artisanal fishermen who

57:59

have been who've been doing it

58:02

for centuries know how to do

58:04

it and they are not necessarily

58:06

the problem, but it's the huge

58:08

industrial fleets that you know they

58:10

can drag a net on

58:12

the bottom of the ocean that

58:15

would fit a 747 into it.

58:17

They're that massive and they drag

58:19

and destroy the coral and the

58:21

rocks and the nooks and the

58:23

crannies where little fish become bigger

58:25

fish. So they, you know, it's

58:28

like clean, clear cutting

58:30

for us. It's so damaging.

58:32

But if you manage

58:34

the most destructive fishing practices

58:36

and you make people

58:38

use science, which has

58:40

a bad name nowadays, to

58:42

set the limits of how many fish

58:44

you can safely take from a fishery

58:46

and still be sustainable, fisheries

58:49

do come back. There is

58:51

a success story, many

58:53

success stories, but you just need to

58:55

do the right things. So

58:57

what can we do if we go to

58:59

that organization? We'll put

59:01

a... We'll put a

59:03

link on here. So there's a link

59:05

at the end and they'll get

59:07

information about what they can do. Yeah,

59:09

go educate yourself. Yeah, because not

59:11

everybody has the time to go be,

59:13

you know, an ocean activist. But

59:15

if you find an organization, in my

59:17

case, it's Oceana. It's making

59:19

a difference. We get stuff done.

59:22

We change policy that puts more

59:24

fish in the ocean. If

59:26

you find an organization you like, support

59:28

it. You know, I think

59:30

it's important, especially now. You

59:32

know, especially us we have grandkids.

59:34

It's the future. It's their

59:36

future. Yeah. Yeah, you could see

59:38

it in doing research on

59:40

This because I felt like I

59:42

wanted to see things I

59:44

hadn't seen we dug up some

59:46

of the old the first

59:48

your entree into worldwide recognition What

59:51

you want to play some of

59:53

the old like we saw this

59:55

tell it you could talk about

59:57

this This is coffee cultivated for

59:59

centuries. No, we haven't always tamed

1:00:01

its bitter nature But now there's

1:00:03

new encore tastes better nature not

1:00:05

bitter because Nestle discovered a way

1:00:07

to give instant coffee a mellow

1:00:09

taste with this It's chicory also

1:00:11

known for centuries chicory brings out

1:00:13

coffee is better nature But leaves

1:00:15

the bitter taste behind tastes better

1:00:17

nature not bitter new mellow encore

1:00:19

instant and coffee with chicory. This

1:00:24

is the best thing about looking

1:00:26

at your early things like that. It's

1:00:28

like, oh, thank you, God. I

1:00:30

have no idea how I got to

1:00:32

be lucky and still working. Nobody

1:00:35

said, hey, we got to

1:00:37

get that chicory, the earnest thing.

1:00:39

And to talk with your

1:00:41

female counterpart in a orchard about

1:00:43

coffee. You know, it

1:00:45

was cool. That was Puerto Rico. I

1:00:48

have to remember. You were in Puerto Rico.

1:00:50

They flew you. Yes, because most of

1:00:52

the ad agencies were in New York. And

1:00:55

come wintertime, they go, let's

1:00:57

write a script for someplace

1:00:59

warm and sunny so they

1:01:01

can go there. Right. So

1:01:03

was that fun? That girl

1:01:05

didn't turn. She's got no

1:01:07

writing. But she's incredibly happy

1:01:09

and a billionaire. Really?

1:01:11

You know who that is? Oh,

1:01:13

we looked her up. She died two weeks

1:01:15

ago. No, she didn't. She did. Somebody's,

1:01:20

you know, child is just going,

1:01:23

mom, died? We

1:01:26

don't have that many listeners.

1:01:28

Here's another beginning of Ted's

1:01:30

group. Yo,

1:01:32

the ski -chairing expert, what am I doing

1:01:34

wrong? Uh, let's talk about an open beer.

1:01:36

Better yet, over a Micheloblite. A light

1:01:38

beer since when? Since Micheloblite.

1:01:41

The rich, full -bodied taste

1:01:43

of Micheloblite. Compare it to

1:01:45

any beer you like.

1:01:47

This Micheloblite's one fine beer.

1:01:49

Now, if I can only raise my scores.

1:01:51

You want really high scores? Yeah. Go

1:01:54

back to golf. Micheloblite.

1:01:56

Compare the taste to... Okay,

1:02:01

so Ted, you're scheme -spirited. This

1:02:03

is mean -spirited. I just want to

1:02:05

know you were there. They went,

1:02:07

okay, so here's the thing. You're

1:02:09

scheme -shooting. Yeah. And then

1:02:11

you go for a beer after a...

1:02:13

After shooting a scheme. Have you ever scheme

1:02:15

-shot? I did. Oh, are you good at

1:02:17

it? In that commercial? was. You

1:02:20

don't do anymore. No, I did it once

1:02:22

and it was pretty good. We saw it.

1:02:25

No, I don't even think they let us shoot

1:02:27

there. That was great. Yeah. I

1:02:29

thought that was great. Yeah. Are you

1:02:31

making me sweat, by the way? Can I show one

1:02:33

more? I show one more? I wish I was

1:02:35

wearing this sweat proof underwear. I'm only showing one more.

1:02:37

One more. This is the last one. Look at

1:02:39

this. No, no, no, no. The spring, the spring thing.

1:02:42

The spring thing. Here,

1:02:45

this is, because it's spring, this is probably

1:02:47

our first episode in springtime. So

1:02:49

just, yeah, there. What?

1:02:58

Am I in this? Tell me,

1:03:00

tell me what you are. What's

1:03:05

at the line? No, I'm not

1:03:07

in this. Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah.

1:03:09

I was told one of these is you.

1:03:11

Start it again, start it again. I

1:03:14

swear to God. I saw, I saw. I

1:03:16

think I saw him. No. Are

1:03:18

you one? Yes. Which one are

1:03:20

you? I'm not the

1:03:22

middle right started again started

1:03:24

again I gotta see that

1:03:26

all right which one on

1:03:29

the middle yeah is that

1:03:31

you did the flip

1:03:33

no you can't deny that

1:03:35

you can't deny that that's

1:03:37

a springtime song with you

1:03:39

and your cool mates I

1:03:41

have never been allowed to

1:03:44

sing ever I'm not

1:03:46

you're not a singer I've

1:03:48

seen you sing. No, you

1:03:50

haven't. Yeah, you sang a

1:03:52

body heat. You

1:03:54

did. I danced. You

1:03:57

didn't sing? No. OK.

1:04:00

OK. Well, that

1:04:02

wasn't you. Well, we've cleared up. We've

1:04:04

cleared up an issue. done so many

1:04:06

things. We have. And it's done. But

1:04:08

I mean, everybody said I loved when

1:04:10

he did the springtime song with him

1:04:12

and his classmates. And we've solved

1:04:14

the problem. It's not him. It's

1:04:16

not Ted. It is not Ted dancing in

1:04:18

the springtime. Festival song no

1:04:20

could have been so

1:04:22

what do we watch? We're

1:04:24

watching inside the inside

1:04:26

man. Yes, we're gonna go

1:04:28

to Man on the

1:04:30

inside man on the inside

1:04:32

which was also, you

1:04:34

know West Hollywood Club for

1:04:36

about five years and

1:04:38

man on the inside I'll

1:04:40

be here all week.

1:04:42

Well, thank you I love

1:04:44

that he's judging. That's

1:04:46

what I do. Oh, nonstop.

1:04:48

By the way, I

1:04:50

pretend not to be judging.

1:04:53

I'm a judge here. Are you? Yeah. How

1:04:56

is this podcast? It's

1:04:59

fun to be on. I

1:05:01

haven't seen it. I have

1:05:03

to be honest. You've never watched this

1:05:05

ever. No, but I haven't watched. You know

1:05:07

what? The majority, but here's what I'm

1:05:09

going to tell you. The majority of people

1:05:11

have not watched this podcast. More

1:05:13

people have not watched this

1:05:15

podcast and the majority of

1:05:17

people who have been on

1:05:19

this podcast have not been

1:05:21

back But that's kind of

1:05:24

the nature of podcasts Maybe

1:05:26

no no no no bond

1:05:28

seems to have Joe Rogan

1:05:30

has people on all the

1:05:32

time I'm having fun. We've

1:05:34

even traveled I'm glad I

1:05:36

got to meet adult you.

1:05:38

Oh, thank you and she

1:05:40

didn't cry The

1:05:42

last time she got to see yeah,

1:05:44

you you weren't the one that made

1:05:47

me cry this time selects must times

1:05:49

and I'm glad I got to hear

1:05:51

you do your mental health And I'm

1:05:53

glad that I got to hear your

1:05:55

conversation about the oceans and our future

1:05:57

so I think we did good here.

1:05:59

I think we did good. I think

1:06:01

it's positive And then all the stuff

1:06:04

you're doing, do you talk about it

1:06:06

yet on your podcast? I do. I

1:06:08

work with the lovely people at Proto,

1:06:10

Hologram. Wow, that's impressive. David

1:06:12

Nussbaum is right there. You

1:06:14

can even see him on camera. He's listening. Hi,

1:06:17

David. Hi, David, Ted said. Here's

1:06:20

the deal. When I turn this way,

1:06:22

I see too much of my waddles. I'm

1:06:24

not looking at you. OK. But

1:06:27

it is a hologram company, which I

1:06:29

think is the future. For us guys, we

1:06:31

could be in three places at once. It's

1:06:34

good for us. I get

1:06:36

it. I mean, it's magic. It

1:06:38

is total magic. I get it. I

1:06:40

suppose I'm, you know, I'm like

1:06:42

my mom. Oh, that's too new fangle

1:06:44

for me. It makes me a

1:06:46

little nervous, not that it's taking words.

1:06:48

Fire made people nervous. And

1:06:50

look what we've done with fire. Yeah.

1:06:52

Yes. But why

1:06:54

are you why are

1:06:56

you but part of

1:06:58

me part of me

1:07:00

likes to go Thank

1:07:02

you father daughter banter

1:07:04

That's me oh you

1:07:06

have to pee too

1:07:09

no, but that's on

1:07:11

my podcast I I

1:07:13

always have be so

1:07:15

you leave in the

1:07:17

middle of the podcast.

1:07:19

Yes, I say Found

1:07:22

the saying or something, get some moment

1:07:24

to do a monologue. you edit it?

1:07:26

No. No, I don't so. Do

1:07:28

people sit there alone when you're gone to

1:07:30

pee? Yeah, they

1:07:33

can talk to Woody, you

1:07:35

know, if Woody's there. But you're OK,

1:07:37

like if a guest is there and you

1:07:39

go to pee and the guest has

1:07:41

no way to talk to him. my guess

1:07:43

is that we edit around that. We

1:07:45

don't edit. Ever. I

1:07:47

don't know, pee. I'll

1:07:51

be right here. Okay. Here's

1:07:55

the deal. I

1:07:57

have to go. Because

1:08:00

I have a two o 'clock meeting with

1:08:02

Mike Schur. Before you go, can we

1:08:04

play your song? We wrote a song for

1:08:06

you, Ted. I'd rather not.

1:08:08

I'm over this whole experience, to

1:08:10

be honest. Oh, all

1:08:13

right. I was kidding. Hit

1:08:15

it. Ready? One, two. Music

1:08:38

Get your groove

1:08:41

on right now Watching

1:08:44

how we

1:08:46

mentally Get

1:08:49

your groove on

1:08:51

right now Watching

1:08:54

how we mentally Dead

1:08:56

dancing man of devotion Doing

1:08:58

his part to save

1:09:00

our oceans On the good

1:09:03

place, his story told

1:09:05

Demon architect heart of gold

1:09:07

A creep show facing

1:09:09

his fears San Malone bartending

1:09:12

at Cheers His podcast,

1:09:14

so acclaimed Where everybody knows

1:09:16

your name Get

1:09:18

your groove

1:09:21

on right now

1:09:23

Watching how

1:09:25

we land down.

1:09:27

Get your groove

1:09:30

on right

1:09:32

now Watching how

1:09:34

we mentally No.

1:09:41

Seriously. You guys are amazing. Thank

1:09:43

you. He also

1:09:45

prepared the cheers theme

1:09:47

song. Ted.

1:09:49

I bet Hailey doesn't shake your hand.

1:09:51

Remember. doesn't do anything. But

1:09:53

he is. He does give you work.

1:09:55

Thank You are amazing. are amazing.