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BBC Sounds, music

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radio podcasts. Welcome

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to Illuminated from BBC

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Radio 4. The home

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for creative one-off documentaries

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that shed light on

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hidden worlds. All human

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life is here, just

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waiting to be discovered.

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Since the Prime Minister wrote the ball, why

0:28

on earth does he think that his new

0:30

defence is going to work for him? How

0:33

did Egyptians build the pyramids? Did

0:35

this start at the top and

0:37

work down or start at the

0:39

bottom and work up? Why would

0:41

you remember a pizza express birthday

0:43

and being at home? But what

0:45

first have they attracted you to

0:48

the millionaire Paul Daniel? Have you

0:50

said thank you once? In this

0:52

entire meeting, you said thank you.

0:54

Will the Prime Minister show that

0:56

he and his government can be

0:58

more than student politicians? That's

1:00

it, isn't it? Didn't

1:03

you wonder as a

1:05

child whether you were

1:07

watching the clouds move

1:09

or the earth rotate?

1:11

Or wonder why your

1:14

granny's house always smelled

1:16

of chickery and boiled

1:19

eggs? What did I

1:22

want to know? Why doesn't

1:24

it hurt when I get

1:26

my hair cut? Are there

1:29

aliens? Could I be

1:32

adopted? Does my dad

1:34

give names to each

1:36

of the cows on

1:38

his farm? And why

1:40

did our old sheepdog

1:43

Jack just disappear

1:45

one day? When

1:47

did we stop

1:49

asking so many

1:51

questions? Did we

1:53

stop asking so

1:56

many questions? Did

1:58

you know that our... for

2:00

question asking peak at

2:02

the age of five

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then steadily diminish that

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kids ask an average

2:08

of 40,000 questions between

2:10

the ages of two

2:12

and five while adults

2:14

ask fewer than ten

2:16

questions a day. How

2:18

many questions have you

2:21

asked today? Four candles.

2:23

Lots, you say? Four

2:25

candles. But how many

2:27

were rhetorical, like? Seriously,

2:29

what is the point?

2:31

Or this kind of

2:33

boomer asking, where the

2:35

question is an excuse

2:37

to turn the conversation

2:39

back to ourselves. Were

2:41

some of them leading

2:43

questions like, why do

2:45

you stack the dishwasher

2:47

that way? Or passive

2:49

aggressive ones, like, when

2:51

is it your turn

2:53

to do the food

2:55

shopping? Or do you

2:57

fill your day with

2:59

mostly functional questions like,

3:01

Alexa? What's the weather

3:04

today? In what city

3:06

would you like to

3:08

know the weather? Were

3:10

any of your questions,

3:12

how can I put

3:14

this, meaningful? Could we

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spend the next few

3:18

minutes together, unpicking why

3:20

we ask fewer questions

3:22

than we ought to?

3:25

Shall we explore the differences

3:27

between questions that are self-serving

3:30

and those that build bridges

3:32

and understanding? And if we

3:34

do that, might we unearth

3:37

some potent but practical questions

3:39

that we could ask to

3:41

fix a relationship, reveal a

3:44

secret, break a cycle or

3:46

even change a mind? Could

3:49

we consider for a moment?

3:51

where power lies when questions

3:53

are asked, and how that

3:56

changes depending on who is

3:58

asking the question. But

4:02

could we also fill this

4:04

documentary entirely with questions? What

4:06

immortal hand or eye could

4:08

frame my fearful symmetry? In

4:11

what distant deeps or skies

4:13

burnt the fire of thine

4:15

eyes? On what wings dare

4:17

he aspire? What the hand

4:19

dare seize the fire? But

4:22

could we also fill this

4:24

documentary entirely with questions? Well,

4:26

why not? Or not to

4:28

be? There have been novels,

4:30

short stories, children's books, songs,

4:33

commencement speeches, even restaurant reviews,

4:35

written entirely in questions. So

4:37

why not half an hour

4:39

of radio? To be or

4:41

not to be. I suppose

4:44

you're going to tell me

4:46

you've played him. Can I

4:48

keep you listening to half

4:50

an hour of questions? Will

4:52

the parents among you be

4:55

waiting for me to slip

4:57

up? or dispute the validity

4:59

of my so-called tag questions,

5:01

that would be mean, wouldn't

5:03

it? To be or not

5:06

to be... You might ask,

5:08

why do I care so

5:10

much? Why, I'm curious about

5:12

the art or the skill

5:14

or the science of asking

5:17

questions. Did you threaten our

5:19

world? Did you press into

5:21

it? Well, if I, Ian

5:23

Wiley, a journalist, have to

5:25

use the Five W's Daily.

5:28

Can I learn how to

5:30

do my job better by

5:32

discovering those next level questions

5:34

and methods? The ones that

5:36

unlock the bigger stories. Can

5:41

I give you a

5:43

little example? Have you

5:45

got an appointment? I?

5:47

Is it an emergency?

5:49

Who is it? Is

5:51

it an emergency? What

5:53

is she telling her

5:55

about? What is it

5:57

that's wrong with you?

5:59

What's she got to

6:01

do with you? When

6:03

you last visited your

6:05

GP? What did they

6:07

ask at the end

6:09

of your appointment? Is

6:11

there anything else I

6:13

can do for you

6:15

today? But did you

6:17

know that researchers have

6:19

found that a simple

6:21

tweak to, is there

6:23

something else I can

6:25

do for you today,

6:27

encourages patients to open

6:29

up more to their

6:31

GPs? What are the

6:33

questions we are not

6:35

asking? Who might help

6:37

us? What professional question-askers

6:39

could we enlist along

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the way? Shall we

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begin in Edinburgh with

6:45

the philosopher and author

6:47

Lanny Watson, who has

6:49

devoted her career to

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understanding the purpose of

6:53

asking questions? Can

6:56

I have the grilled tuna

6:59

melt? Please. Could I also

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have a black-white bubble? Would

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you like a drink, Lanny?

7:06

Could I take this amber

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juice? So Lanny, what fascinates

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you so much about questions

7:13

that you've devoted a large

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part of your professional career

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to studying them? Don't you

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find questions fascinating too? I

7:22

mean, isn't it incredible that

7:25

we start questioning the world

7:27

around us from the very

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first? weeks and months of

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our lives and we continue

7:34

until the day we die,

7:36

isn't it amazing to think

7:39

that you've almost certainly never

7:41

gone a date without asking

7:43

questions, hundreds of them, and

7:46

that you will probably ask

7:48

hundreds of thousands of questions

7:51

over the course of a

7:53

lifetime? Isn't it bizarre that

7:55

we can't? Why asks Lanny,

7:58

do we pay so little

8:00

attention to the questions we

8:02

ask? Is it because they're

8:05

just so frequent, so instinctive?

8:07

like breathing or blinking, that

8:09

paying attention to every single

8:12

question. we ask would take

8:14

up all our time? Or

8:16

is it because we don't

8:19

always know what we're doing

8:21

when we're asking questions? We

8:23

don't really know what questions

8:26

are. Or is it because

8:28

we are living in a

8:31

world that values answers over

8:33

questions, so much so that

8:35

we have simply forgotten that

8:38

the questions are important and

8:40

powerful in their own right,

8:42

and that the answers would

8:45

be nothing without the questions.

8:47

intentionally choose not to use

8:49

a question mark at the

8:52

end of your questions. First

8:54

of all I thought is

8:56

it Lani just being careless?

8:59

Did I receive an extremely

9:01

poor education in grammar? Was

9:03

I part of the generation

9:06

that was just not taught

9:08

grammar? But isn't it interesting

9:11

that in Mandarin and Japanese

9:13

question marks... are actually not

9:15

commonplace, at least in formal

9:18

writing, because it's a Latin

9:20

medieval symbol, and formal writing

9:22

in those languages predates and

9:25

doesn't necessarily incorporate the use

9:27

of medieval Latin punctuation. Wouldn't

9:29

you love to be as

9:32

a philosopher? Wasn't it a

9:34

philosopher, Socrates, who, according to

9:36

Plato, showed us how to

9:39

use questions to challenge assumptions

9:41

and point out contradictions? What

9:44

is piety? Are you not

9:46

ashamed men of Athens to

9:48

cast so much for wealth,

9:51

honour and fame, but not

9:53

for wisdom and truth? Should

9:55

one return injustice for injustice

9:58

as most people say? But

10:01

how practically might

10:03

I improve my actual

10:05

question asking skills to

10:07

be stronger than justice?

10:10

Should we not in

10:12

life get as close

10:14

as possible to death?

10:16

Must not the pure

10:18

dwell in the pure?

10:21

But how practically might

10:23

I improve my

10:25

actual question asking

10:27

skills? What

10:30

could I learn I wonder

10:32

from interviewing a detective? Mary and

10:34

Joseph and the wee donkey can we

10:37

just move this thing along before a

10:39

tribe? It's all around a bloody

10:41

pen. What should I ask

10:43

Steve Hibbit? A former detective

10:46

superintendent with more than 40 years

10:48

of experience conducting investigations including the

10:50

Hillsborough Football Stadium disaster. and principal

10:52

author of Blackstone's crime investigator's handbook.

10:55

Shall I ask him what questions

10:57

he has found most effective? What

10:59

do you want to say about

11:01

the allegation that's been made or

11:04

what do you want to say

11:06

about this matter or what do

11:08

you want to tell me about

11:11

the murder that we're talking about?

11:13

If building rapport is essential to

11:15

uncovering the truth, says Steve, wouldn't

11:17

a more open-ended question like what do

11:19

you want to tell me about this

11:21

matter, which is opened up more than

11:24

one case for Steve, Wouldn't that

11:26

lead to deeper, more honest responses?

11:28

What would be an example of

11:30

a hard question and why it would be

11:32

hard? The why have you done it?

11:34

When did you formulate the intent to

11:36

do this? What made you decide to

11:38

pick that particular person to attack? What

11:40

do you want to tell us about

11:42

this? Are you able to tell us

11:44

about this? Is there anything stopping you

11:46

talking to us today? When it comes

11:48

to asking the difficult why questions, such

11:50

as why did you do that? Wouldn't

11:53

it be more effective to reframe

11:55

it as what were you thinking

11:57

at the time to reduce defensiveness?

12:00

while still uncovering intent. Are you

12:02

guilty of this, Efex? Because

12:04

it's a presumption. And why, says

12:06

Steve, ask accusatory questions like,

12:08

why aren't you talking to us?

12:10

When a gentler approach like,

12:12

is there anything stopping you from

12:15

talking to us, is far

12:17

more likely to yield cooperation. Steve,

12:20

shall we play a

12:23

game? Perhaps where you, the

12:25

detective, have been called

12:27

to the potential crime

12:29

scene in this photograph. But

12:32

how about we make it

12:34

a rule that you, the

12:37

detective, can speak only on

12:39

questions. You can only ask

12:41

questions. And I, as someone

12:43

who you find present at

12:46

the scene, I'm unable to

12:48

speak for some reason, can

12:50

answer only by nodding or

12:52

shaking my head. So

12:55

what would be your first question,

12:57

Steve? Is this your

12:59

car? Were

13:01

you driving the car

13:04

just before this happened?

13:08

Would I be correct in thinking

13:10

you were driving at the time? Was

13:13

anybody else in the car at the

13:15

time? Have

13:17

you opened the suitcase?

13:20

Shouldn't we, like detectives, always

13:22

be clear about the

13:24

distinction between investigative interviewing, which

13:26

seeks the truth, and

13:28

interrogation, which assumes guilt. Was

13:31

the suitcase in the

13:33

boot of the car? Was

13:36

it in the

13:38

back seat of the

13:40

car? And isn't

13:42

it true that the

13:44

moment we shift

13:46

into a more interrogative

13:48

tone, trust immediately

13:50

collapses? You've taken from

13:52

the suitcase that

13:54

we cannot see in

13:56

the picture. When

13:58

you were driving the

14:00

car, were you

14:02

driving at speed? Should

14:05

we pay more

14:07

attention to the environment?

14:09

which we're asking our questions. Ensuring, like

14:11

Steve does, that the other person isn't

14:13

hungry, cold or distracted, since comfort plays

14:15

such a critical role in delivering truthful

14:17

responses. Did you see the animal before

14:19

you hit it? Is what you've just

14:21

told me the truth? Shall

14:27

I see next what it's

14:29

like to be questioned in

14:32

court? What could I learn,

14:34

I wonder, from a barrister

14:36

who has spent a career

14:38

cross-examining witnesses? What about it's

14:40

a fair cop and you've

14:42

got me banned to rice.

14:44

Mr. Rumpoll, is this cross-examination

14:46

meant to be taken seriously?

14:49

What tips could I glean

14:51

from Melanie Simpson? a highly

14:53

regarded criminal defence casee who's

14:55

renowned for her exceptional cross-examination

14:57

and high acquittal rates. Can

14:59

you take me to the

15:01

old Billy, please? So where's

15:04

the best place for me

15:06

to sit? Just sit here.

15:08

So Millie, so we try

15:10

a little exercise where you're

15:12

cross-examining an awkward witness. Ay

15:14

me. who responds to every

15:16

question with another question. So,

15:19

how can I summarize Melanie's

15:21

advice? Well, isn't it just

15:23

as important to know when

15:25

not to ask a question

15:27

as it is to know

15:29

when to ask one? Especially

15:31

when asking might accidentally weaken

15:34

your case or your argument.

15:36

Shall we set it up

15:38

where you have to find

15:40

out what I mean for

15:42

dinner last night? Could I,

15:44

like Melanie, who recalls how

15:46

one carefully worded question destroyed

15:48

a co-defendant's defence, could I

15:51

get better answers if I

15:53

phrased my questions more precisely?

15:55

So what did you have

15:57

for dinner last night? Does

15:59

that really matter? Why don't

16:01

you want to answer the

16:03

question? What are you trying

16:06

to prove? Did you know

16:08

that barristers have to abide

16:10

by strict rules when questioning

16:12

vulnerable witnesses such as children

16:14

or survivors of trauma? What

16:16

does that tell us? That

16:18

the person who controls the

16:21

questions wields extraordinary influence and

16:23

not just in a courtroom?

16:25

Was it a family dinner

16:27

that you were cooking? Are

16:29

you trying to put words

16:31

into my mouth? Is there

16:33

a warning here for all

16:35

of us that questions themselves

16:38

hold immense power? Are we

16:40

aware just how much a

16:42

question can empower or disempower?

16:44

Can clarify or confuse? Can

16:46

expose or humiliate? Depending entirely

16:48

on how it is asked.

16:50

Do you like your children

16:53

to eat healthily? Why wouldn't

16:55

I? So are you a

16:57

good father? Do you have

16:59

a good relationship with your

17:01

children? Every father would like

17:03

to think that, wouldn't they?

17:05

Do your children have school

17:08

meals or do they have

17:10

a packed lunch in the

17:12

week? Have you noticed how

17:14

skillful professional question askers like

17:16

Steve and Melanie make their

17:18

next question entirely dependent on

17:20

the previous answer, constantly adjusting

17:23

their approach like a chess

17:25

player shifting strategy? And yet

17:27

with all the advances in

17:29

the advances in the advances

17:31

in forensic science, CCTV, DNA

17:33

evidence? Is there a risk

17:35

here that we're beginning to

17:37

undervalue the power of human

17:40

questioning in investigations? And could

17:42

it be that our growing

17:44

dependence on all kinds of

17:46

technology algorithms and artificial intelligence

17:48

is leading to a general

17:50

decline in this ancient art

17:52

of skillful intelligent questioning? Shall

17:55

we see what Lanny our

17:57

philosopher or philosopher- intelligent questioning?

17:59

Shall we see what Lanny

18:01

or philosopher-autiver thinks of philosophy

18:03

of philosophy- intelligent questioning? Are

18:05

we asking the right questions

18:07

about what that... technology has

18:10

to offer and what we

18:12

can gain from it. Are

18:14

we asking the right questions

18:16

about whether or not that

18:18

technology should exist in the

18:20

way that it does and

18:22

who's in charge of asking

18:25

those questions for us in

18:27

the context in which they're

18:29

being answered? Should we get

18:31

a second opinion this time

18:33

from one of those artificial

18:35

intelligence chat bots? likely to

18:37

make us better or worse

18:39

at asking questions. Should we

18:42

expect that generative AI, with

18:44

its vast capacity to provide

18:46

instant answers, might subtly discourage

18:48

us from asking deep, open-ended

18:50

questions in the first place?

18:52

Or might it be that

18:54

generative AI could elevate our

18:57

curiosity by exposing us to

18:59

unexpected answers, new ideas or

19:01

unfamiliar lines of thought? Thus

19:03

inspiring us to ask better

19:05

follow-up questions. So perhaps the

19:07

real question is, will we

19:09

allow generative AI to do

19:12

our thinking for us? Or

19:14

will we use it as

19:16

a tool to sharpen and

19:18

deepen our questioning skills? Shall

19:20

we zoom out from thinking

19:22

about questions just as a

19:24

tool for extracting information from

19:27

others? Because isn't there a

19:29

far greater purpose to asking

19:31

questions? One that's rooted in...

19:33

deep conversation, connection and understanding.

19:35

In this age where anti-social

19:37

behaviour has become normal, where

19:39

it's entirely acceptable to be

19:41

at a party and spend

19:44

most of the time looking

19:46

down at our phones, shouldn't

19:48

we be asking what we're

19:50

losing in the process? If,

19:52

as BBC research suggests, 40%

19:54

of 16 to 24-year-olds... be

19:56

lonely often or very often.

20:00

to seemingly connect why the nearly

20:02

half of US adults say they

20:04

struggle with loneliness. Couldn't we counter

20:06

this epidemic of loneliness, solitude

20:08

and selfish me time by

20:10

ditching our phones for social

20:13

interaction and getting back

20:15

into some healthier habits? Like

20:17

asking questions and being asked

20:19

questions. Wouldn't that be uncomfortable?

20:21

Sure, but isn't that discomfort

20:23

precisely the point? Is that

20:25

you again? How did you find

20:27

me here? Isn't it in those

20:29

moments of messy conversation and

20:31

awkward questioning that the best

20:33

experiences can emerge? Why are

20:35

you following me? Should we

20:37

ease off the social media

20:39

too? In a culture that prizes

20:42

self-expression above all else, should it

20:44

surprise us that we increasingly prefer

20:46

to speak at others rather than

20:49

listen to them? Can someone get

20:51

this guy out of the gym please? On

20:53

which side of the fence

20:55

do you sit? Would you

20:58

agree that social media for

21:00

all its promise rarely fosters

21:02

true conversation, but instead degenerates

21:04

into a threat of overlapping

21:07

monologues, rants and tirades, where

21:09

people seem more interested in

21:11

broadcasting their views than seeking

21:13

genuine understanding? Or do you

21:16

feel that social media exposes

21:18

us to diverse perspectives, real-time

21:20

discussions, expert insights, and actually

21:22

helps us refine our thinking? so

21:24

that we can ask more

21:27

informed, relevant questions. So come on

21:29

in, smart lad, now that you've

21:31

learned all this, what are you

21:33

going to do? Shouldn't I, at

21:35

the very least, take out my

21:37

airpods and wait for an answer

21:39

when I ask someone, how are

21:41

you on my morning dog walk?

21:43

But what if I also addressed

21:45

my addiction to needing answers to

21:47

every question I ask? Is the point of

21:50

asking a question to get an answer?

21:55

What man has been shared

21:58

by all these women? Or

22:00

could the act of

22:02

questioning itself carry a

22:04

deeper value? Don't some

22:07

of our favourite songs

22:09

ask questions that

22:11

go unanswered? What's love?

22:14

Asked Tina, got to

22:16

do with it. What's love?

22:18

Asked Tina, got to

22:20

do with it. What's

22:23

love? But a second-hand

22:25

emotion. Did

22:28

Elvis Costello expect

22:31

an answer when

22:34

he wrote? What's

22:36

so funny about

22:39

peace, love

22:41

and understanding?

22:44

Why wondered

22:46

Travis, does

22:48

it always rain on

22:50

me? Is it because

22:52

I lied when I

22:54

was 17? to unsettle,

22:56

to challenge, to surprise us

22:59

with unexpected, even disturbing

23:01

revelations about ourselves, the

23:03

world, life? Why is

23:05

it, after all, that some of

23:07

the holiest of scriptures across religious

23:09

traditions are full of unanswered

23:11

questions? One very big question.

23:13

Is it more rational to

23:15

believe in God? What's the

23:17

greatest piece of evidence that

23:19

you can bring to the

23:21

table? What is it that

23:23

Claire Bigno? my friend who

23:25

volunteers as a Samaritan says.

23:28

Isn't it the case that

23:30

when people feel fully heard

23:32

without judgment perhaps for the first

23:34

time I find that the relief they

23:36

experience can open the door to the

23:38

answers they seek? So do you just

23:40

listen? Can you understand me and

23:43

what I mean by active listening?

23:45

That when I hear their stories

23:47

of pain and respond with gentle

23:50

probing questions there is healing not

23:52

uncertainty but in exploration?

23:54

Aren't unanswered questions

23:56

better than unquestioned

23:59

answers? What

24:19

can lianne Roberts, who's

24:21

a church of England

24:23

priest and psychotherapist, tell

24:25

us about the biggest

24:27

of questions? If some

24:29

questions lian are unanswerable,

24:31

particularly about faith,

24:33

why are they still worth asking?

24:35

Well, do we really ask questions

24:37

solely for the sake of

24:39

receiving answers? Or do we

24:41

ask them for our own

24:43

sake? Because it matters to

24:45

give words and thought. to

24:47

the really big and really

24:50

difficult things. Can questions like,

24:52

is there a God or

24:54

is any of this God's

24:56

stuff true, ever really be

24:58

answered in a definite way?

25:01

Yet aren't these vital

25:03

questions to ask because they

25:05

acknowledge the possibility that there

25:07

might be more in the

25:10

world than we're aware of?

25:13

Do unanswerable questions, asks

25:15

Leon, place our own

25:17

selves and issues into

25:20

perspective? Perhaps most importantly,

25:22

could asking these unanswerable

25:25

questions give us some

25:27

reassurance that there are

25:29

things we simply do

25:31

not and cannot know? And

25:33

what if this realization helped

25:35

to expand our understanding

25:37

of ourselves and the world

25:40

in which we live? In

25:43

therapy too, isn't it often the

25:45

case that we come to acknowledge

25:47

that there are things we simply

25:50

cannot know or control? Questions like,

25:52

why did this happen to me?

25:54

Why do I feel so alone?

25:56

Or why can't I seem to

25:58

change this habit? or aspect of

26:01

myself. Can you envisage,

26:03

just for a moment,

26:05

letting go of the

26:07

need to know and

26:09

to control? Can you

26:11

picture a state of

26:13

not knowing? Can you

26:15

see that in that

26:17

very state of not

26:20

knowing, you could reach

26:22

a far more creative

26:24

place within yourself? Can

26:26

you imagine the connections

26:28

that could be made?

26:30

The feelings fully felt.

26:32

the understanding and ultimately

26:34

acceptance finally gained. Are

26:36

you like me exhausted

26:38

from all these questions?

26:40

But at the very

26:42

end of our lives,

26:45

when memories have faded

26:47

and certain difficulties, Will

26:49

we not find ourselves

26:51

left with nothing but

26:53

questions? Manuel, could you

26:55

lend Mrs. Richard your

26:57

assistance in connection with

26:59

her reservation? Okay. What?

27:01

Are you talking about

27:03

you seeing a little

27:05

man? What's going on

27:07

here? What's going on

27:10

here? What's going on

27:12

here? What's going on

27:14

here? What's wrong with

27:16

him? What's going on

27:18

here? What's wrong with

27:20

him? What's going on

27:22

here? What's wrong with

27:24

him? What's wrong with

27:26

him? So,

27:29

shall we end our time

27:31

together, or Q and Q

27:33

if you like, with these

27:36

thoughts? What are the questions

27:38

you've been too afraid to

27:40

ask? And what might change

27:42

if you ask them now?

27:45

Because when my time is

27:47

up, do I? Do you?

27:49

Do we really want our

27:52

final question to be what

27:54

if? You've

28:05

been listening to You've been

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Joanna Page. I'm Natalie Cassidy and we want to tell you all

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