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0:50

And now... It's time for...

0:54

Inside Conan. an

0:56

important Hollywood podcast!

0:59

Hi! Hello

1:07

and

1:09

welcome to Inside Conan,

1:11

a very, very important Hollywood podcast.

1:13

Ooh, I love the varies. We earned

1:15

those, a very. Yes, it's really going up

1:18

in the world, this podcast. I'm Jesse Gaskell

1:20

and you're Mike Sweeney. Correct.

1:22

I said it for you so that you wouldn't have to refer

1:24

to the notes. The less for me,

1:26

the better. And yeah, it takes

1:29

me a long time to read my name. We

1:31

are writers with Conan. We've been

1:34

doing so for many years and now we're doing this podcast.

1:37

And this season, our 10th,

1:40

4th, I honestly... No, 4th

1:42

season. That's madness. Yeah. We're

1:44

syndicated. That's

1:46

right. Only in Guam. They're airing

1:49

reruns on USA. Oh, you know, we're

1:51

on Sirius. Yes. On channel 106.

1:54

That might be where you're listening to us. Right. In

1:56

your car. Yeah, I almost drove off the

1:58

road the other day. Hearing

2:01

my voice, I was just hearing my voice and

2:03

like, oh my God, get me to Symphony

2:05

Hall, too sweet.

2:07

It's terrifying. It is terrifying. Some

2:09

people, I don't like hearing my voice, too. I

2:11

don't think anyone does. I thought that was kind of an evolutionary

2:14

thing. Yes. To keep us from

2:17

recording ourselves. But who knows evolutionarily

2:20

speaking? I mean, I know when I

2:22

was a kid and I heard my voice, it sounded,

2:25

I thought I sounded cool. And then I heard my voice

2:27

and was horrified. Yes, exactly. And vowed, never

2:29

to hear it again. But I wonder if kids

2:31

growing up today are, they're so immersed

2:34

in TikTok and YouTube. They're recording themselves

2:36

more. Right. Do they reach

2:38

a comfort level where it's like, oh yeah,

2:40

like. They sound great. I'm gonna become an influencer.

2:43

Oh man, kids aren't

2:45

insecure enough. Because they have to edit themselves.

2:47

Ugh, can you imagine? What a problem. What

2:50

a nightmare of a generation. It

2:53

is a nightmare. What a horrible,

2:55

it's worse than living through

2:58

World War I or World War II. Yes. Having

3:00

to edit yourself. The social media wars. Talking

3:02

to a computer camera. And

3:05

I have no idea now who we are, what we're doing,

3:08

or why I was talking about hearing

3:11

my voice. All right, Inside Conan. It's a podcast

3:14

and it's the season four. And this season,

3:16

it's

3:17

all about Conan

3:19

on the road. And that's just- Yes,

3:21

outside Conan. Outside Conan, right.

3:23

It's an umbrella term. We're just looking at the

3:26

times Conan or the

3:29

people on our show. Left

3:31

the studio. Helped Conan in, left the studio, burst

3:33

out of the studio and hit the road to

3:36

do hopefully something funny. Yeah,

3:38

no guarantees there. No, no, no. You

3:41

hit the road, not with Conan. Right.

3:44

But kind of recently. Yes,

3:46

oh yeah, yeah. I worked on a documentary

3:49

about Bono and the Edge. Yeah,

3:51

I've heard of them. Those two open covers. And

3:54

it was hosted by David Letterman. Yeah. And

3:57

I got to tag along. I was like kind of a... You

3:59

did.

4:00

Kind of the... Helping out with the David

4:02

Letterman stuff. Dave without borders. Yeah, that's right,

4:04

that's right. No, yeah. He

4:06

was a different thing.

4:07

Right, we went to Dublin. Yeah. And

4:10

it was, I had a great time. It

4:14

sounds unbelievable. I mean, that's

4:18

what legends to get

4:20

to hang out with. Well, David

4:22

Letterman is, you know,

4:24

I never met him until last year and he's hilarious.

4:28

Exactly the way you'd imagine.

4:31

He's, you know, this galant, he's just

4:33

incredibly smart, incredibly

4:35

inquisitive, and then also hilarious.

4:38

What kind of facial hair does he have these days? He's

4:40

got a beautiful beard. Oh, a thick long

4:42

beard? Yes, I try not to stare. I

4:45

want to just stare at him. I know, I want to touch

4:47

it. The way you stare at a beautiful woman. Yeah. But

4:49

I- He's like, my eyes are up here. Exactly, so I trained

4:52

myself to maintain eye contact.

4:54

And yeah, so that was a

4:56

blast. And you had to go to Dublin. I got to go to

4:58

Dublin and the funny thing is,

5:01

like some people been like, oh, what

5:03

was Bono and the Edge like? And

5:06

I was like, I didn't even care

5:08

about them. Oh, really? Yeah, I was just

5:10

like enthralled, you know, hanging

5:13

out with Dave Letterman. I was just like, yeah,

5:15

then there were two other guys. But Bono,

5:17

I

5:18

learned is a great impressionist. What?

5:21

He does great impressions of other rock stars.

5:23

Oh, that's so fun. And they're really funny. And

5:26

I think that in

5:28

this special, which is out now, it came

5:30

out on this, there's a snippet

5:32

of him doing, I think Keith Richards, but he-

5:35

Oh, that's great. Yeah, no, he's great. And then-

5:38

I would love if Bono started trying to do, like

5:41

he went on America's Got Talent. Yes, that's

5:43

a great idea. Impressions, yeah.

5:45

Or start out in Dublin, like there must be an Ireland

5:47

as talent, and then across

5:49

the pond.

5:50

Well, I'm excited to watch this. I

5:52

haven't watched it yet, but

5:54

I promise I will. Okay,

5:56

it's a lot of you too. Also,

5:59

I'll fast forward. those parts. Oh no.

6:03

No, it's really great. No,

6:05

I like you too. I mean,

6:08

but you know, there's a, yeah. I love

6:10

Bruce Springsteen and I didn't even finish his Howard

6:13

Stern interview. Yeah. Oh, well the

6:15

director's Morgan Neville. Yeah. 20 feet

6:17

from stardom. Oh, I love that movie. And

6:20

he was great to watch. He's

6:23

the most relaxed,

6:25

cool presence and just- You have

6:27

to be. to be around rock

6:29

stars. No, but just with the directing.

6:32

Like

6:33

he just, I don't know, he seemed

6:35

to not have a care in the world, shot everything,

6:38

and then two weeks later

6:40

there was a cut of the show and it was

6:42

unbelievable. Wow. And it blew

6:44

me away. It's such a relief when you hear that because

6:47

I think there's a misconception that you have to be

6:49

like, you gotta be an asshole to

6:51

get a good product. And

6:54

that's just not true.

6:55

Well, I think if you're just so good at something,

6:59

you can just kind of be relaxed about doing, like I

7:01

think he has it all in his head. Or if he

7:03

doesn't, he must do some serious

7:06

com apps before shooting. Yeah,

7:09

right. Because he came across it just like. He might just be

7:11

like fully CBD'd out.

7:13

Right. Right. I

7:16

would have to be. Yeah, but no,

7:18

he was great and very large and in charge.

7:20

Well, that sounds great. The coolest way possible.

7:23

But

7:23

enough about other shows. Yeah,

7:25

are we even allowed to do this? No

7:27

free rides. I don't know if they'll be able to broadcast things.

7:31

Because we also went on the

7:33

road with Conan many times to

7:35

other countries in Europe. One of those

7:37

was Germany.

7:38

And we went with none other than

7:40

today's guest, Flula Borg. Yes,

7:43

Flula appeared

7:46

on the TBS show with Conan and was

7:48

such an immediate hit. Oh, just a force

7:51

of nature. And then Conan,

7:53

I think, or I forget about it at first,

7:56

but it was just like, let's go to Germany together.

7:58

I think Flula invited Conan to determine. And

8:00

that was it. It was a done deal. And there

8:02

was a moment of like, well, yeah,

8:05

let's go. Yeah, I want to go with this guy.

8:07

I don't think he expected Conan to say yes. Right,

8:09

right. And the next thing you know. And we got

8:11

to go along, which was fun. Yeah, oh, it was so

8:13

fun. We went to Berlin and some of... It

8:16

might be one of my favorite travel shows because

8:18

there's just so many funny remotes in

8:20

it.

8:21

I will agree with you. It might be my

8:24

favorite too. Yeah, it's really like, for

8:26

comedy's sake, Laughs Per Minute

8:28

are very high in that one. And I think it's the hardest

8:31

I've laughed while we were recording something.

8:33

Recording, yes. And where a

8:36

lot of times I laugh really hard at something and then

8:38

you're like, oh wait, why

8:41

were we laughing so hard? No,

8:43

but

8:43

this one was like, we might need to make two

8:45

shows out of this. No, it was great. It

8:48

really, it's all there. It all came

8:50

out on the field camera.

8:52

Yeah, so we talked to Flula about

8:54

our trip to Germany. Here's Flula board.

8:57

Hi, Flula, welcome back. Wow,

9:02

hello. Hi, it's great to see you again. Great to

9:04

see you as well, guys. We have begun the show. We,

9:06

well, sure in this case. Can you tell

9:08

the change in my voice? Right, yes. More professional

9:10

tone. Yes, yes, yes. Direct eye contact.

9:12

Dulce Tons from Jesse. Okay.

9:16

We are set, Dulce Oktahema. Yes,

9:18

Dulce Oktahema. I've been there.

9:20

Yeah. Have you been to Oktahema? Yeah,

9:23

we'll cover that a bit. Oh, yeah, of course. We're traveled

9:25

to all 50 states. Yes, 50 now. Yes.

9:28

Well, we've had you on the podcast before. This is

9:30

accurate. We wanted to have you back because we just,

9:33

we didn't have enough time the first time. Right.

9:36

Right? That's what we always say. There's

9:38

always so much left on the table. I thought we completed it and

9:40

we really were done. Yeah, I thought we

9:42

started going over shopping lists. Yeah, that's

9:44

right.

9:45

No, we, well, we're doing a

9:47

series of shows about

9:49

our travels with Conan, Conan

9:52

on the road.

9:52

Wow. I forgot.

9:55

I didn't remember what the, I'm like, what is this

9:57

season about? What's the purpose? What's the common

9:59

link? the answer.

10:00

Yes, yes. Thanks, Jesse. And

10:02

you've been on the road with Conan. I have traveled

10:04

on roads. A privileged few. Yes. Yes.

10:06

Yes. And pathways. And pathways also.

10:08

Yes, metaphorical. A plane. There might have

10:10

been a boat in there. We

10:13

have not. Boat? No boating. No, we can't

10:15

boat it. Adding that to the checklist.

10:17

Hello, buckets. A cruise,

10:19

maybe. You and Conan on

10:21

a cruise. On a cruise? I would love this. Blue cruise. Have you ever

10:23

been on a cruise? I have not. The

10:26

water makes me vomit. Oh, okay. Okay. So

10:29

I tried to avoid it a little bit, but

10:31

I would do-

10:31

So triangle of sadness situations. Right. Yes,

10:33

very much. Yeah, give me the Nutella on the tiny

10:36

boat. And then vomit everywhere,

10:38

yes. At least watch the beginning of that.

10:40

I saw the trailer. It also made

10:42

me sick. Made you vomit, yes. Immediately

10:44

took eight drama minds.

10:45

Yeah, I thought watching that trailer, there was a

10:47

lot of vomit in the trailer. Was there? I

10:50

didn't see the trailer. Yeah. And I assumed that

10:52

wasn't even most of the vomit in the movie.

10:54

Well, they always put the best part in the trailer. They do, that's

10:56

quite true. It's like, shit, now I've seen all

10:58

the vomit. Vomits wise in all the

11:00

movies.

11:01

So we went to Berlin with you. We

11:04

did. And I mean, you really kind of took us to

11:06

Berlin. Well, yes, a little bit. I

11:08

invited- To show us your Berlin. I showed you

11:10

my Berlin on other

11:12

items as well. A

11:14

reference to my testicles, yes.

11:18

And penis, don't say your penis. Never.

11:20

I wouldn't look,

11:21

I want that to be clear. I didn't look out

11:23

of respect to you. I did just

11:25

because lighting is important to me. Shadows.

11:28

And I want to make sure everything was

11:31

properly showcased.

11:32

I saw you notice

11:34

that Flula has a third leg and then you

11:36

looked up to realize, oh no, there were nearly

11:38

a shadow. There

11:40

were a lot of pinnae on that beach.

11:43

We went to a nude beach.

11:44

It was mostly pinnae. I didn't see as many naked

11:47

women. No. Vigai's? No. Vigai's? Yeah.

11:51

Vigai. How to pluralize

11:53

it? Vaginai? Is

11:55

that the norm with nude beaches?

11:58

Like, is there a preponderance of... More

12:00

pea knives and the giant eyes. I think so. I

12:03

think so. It's probably most are

12:05

sausage parties, I would think. Right. Yes.

12:09

Schnitzel parties. Bratwurst,

12:11

yes. Yes. So, yeah, more bratwurst

12:13

than when, I don't, Waruji, whatever

12:16

we're saying now. Yes. Pretzels.

12:19

The pretzels. Yes, the folded pretzels. The

12:21

cutscenes. The cutscenes. If

12:23

things work out. Hey, whoa.

12:27

Things did not work out. Just so I don't want to. That

12:29

was the narrator. Yes,

12:31

I invited Conan when I met

12:34

him and you guys are the first time on the

12:36

show. And I just said, you

12:37

should join me to come to Germany.

12:39

I just thought I would say it. Yeah. You

12:41

didn't think anyone would follow up on that. No. Oh,

12:44

this was the first and last time I would ever speak with Conan

12:46

O'Brien. I was convinced,

12:48

yes. Yeah, because you would probably invite

12:50

a lot of other people to Germany. Everyone all the

12:52

time. Yeah. That's

12:55

your ploy. It's a smart... You never know who's going to

12:57

take you up on it. It's my ice break, you know, that's

12:59

how I do it. Come with me to DistleDorf and

13:02

on. And it's sort of a game of chicken

13:04

because you're like, well, I at least got the

13:06

credit for offering and they're not going to take me up

13:08

on

13:08

it. And then no one feeds me chicken. Yes, that's correct.

13:11

Yeah. That's how you played. Yeah.

13:14

Yeah. But right on the air, he was like, yeah, I'd love

13:16

to go with you. It was an instant match.

13:18

It was a deep match. Yes. It

13:20

was a big, big, we both swiped the correct direction. Yes,

13:23

correct. Yes. And then you joined as well.

13:25

It was very

13:26

fun. Yes, we both got to go. of my favorite

13:28

trips of the one of

13:30

the travel shows we've done so far. Yes. I

13:33

loved going to Berlin. Berlin is a really

13:35

fun city. There's so much going on. Oh,

13:37

I agree. Really cool people.

13:39

Yeah. Delicious food. Yeah. Angular

13:41

haircuts. Very angular. Yes. I

13:44

liked that we went and then we visited three Bavarian

13:46

things just to cover other Germany locations.

13:49

Right. But really those were on a sound stage.

13:51

Yeah. Yes. With casted

13:53

Bavarian. Zero

13:56

of them live in Berlin. from from california

13:58

one of them was from california

14:00

Oh really? He's like Rancho Cucamonga. Rancho

14:02

Cucamonga. Oh, the Shoe Plautlers?

14:04

Yeah. Oh yeah, one of the brothers.

14:06

Yeah. I had lived in Northern

14:08

California. I was talking about surfing. Oh, funny. And

14:11

we spoke later, he lives now in an automobile

14:13

in Riverside. Oh no. So

14:16

he's moved up. Yeah.

14:19

Well, yeah, so we did a Shoe Plautler remote.

14:21

And I think I didn't realize at the time, but you grew

14:23

up doing Shoe Plautler. Correct.

14:26

Yes, as a child. And that's a dance, a cultural

14:28

dance. cultural dance. Sure. Can

14:31

you describe Shupa? Yeah, it's like

14:33

the running man of early Bavaria.

14:36

Oh. So, except there's less

14:38

running, more hopping, lots of slapping,

14:40

hands in the air, like you just don't care. And then

14:43

you slap both knees and buttocks and- You sometimes

14:45

slap your feet. Yes. Like a hacky

14:47

sack. Hacky sack. Yes, you may touch

14:49

other people's, I mean, be careful to

14:51

not hit the pinnae or the vagina, but you can

14:53

hit in those general regions as well. Yeah.

14:56

And then lots of Polka Mousse music

14:58

is playing.

14:59

Yes. And what do you wear for that? Anything

15:01

you like, but also only Lederhosen. Okay. But

15:05

anything under the Lederhosen. Yes, anything that's freedom.

15:07

Freedom under the... That's where the freedom comes. That's correct.

15:10

And are the... Is that why... Because Lederhosen

15:12

seem like they might be a little bit protective in the crotch

15:14

area. Because

15:15

it's leather, it's stiff leather. You

15:17

mean like there's a condom built in? Well, I

15:19

guess I mean that that seems like the right clothing

15:22

to wear if you're going to get slapped on the crotch.

15:24

Yes, of course. Yes. If you hit a cow's hide

15:27

versus if you hit a nylon, one

15:29

will hurt and bruise your clementines

15:32

and the other one will protect those. A shock

15:34

absorber. That's correct. Yes, yes,

15:36

yes, yes. Yes, a sort of safety garment. Safety

15:39

first. That's how we do it. This

15:41

is how we do it, Montel Jordan. Hello. So

15:44

is there a limited shelf life for Shoe Plattler?

15:47

Like, do they get

15:48

groin injuries and have to drop out? You're

15:50

asking is there like a Kurema Vulture ball that played 20

15:52

seasons of Shoe Plattler? Everyone knows it's like three

15:54

to five years. Exactly. And it's running

15:57

back. Yes. Before you become sterile.

15:59

free agents

16:00

Yeah, that's correct. Oh, it's very good. Like go from Munich to

16:02

Dusseldorf. Absolutely. The inspo bling blongs.

16:04

Yes. Steal everyone. They're such

16:06

poachers. The

16:08

bling blongs. Yeah, there's an umlaut somewhere.

16:11

No one tells you where. We invite

16:13

you to guess.

16:13

The umlaut is coming

16:15

from inside the building. That's correct.

16:18

Yes, I know what you umlauted last summer. Inside the phrase. What

16:22

was the question? Well,

16:26

just going back to you inviting Conan. Oh, sure.

16:29

Did you really think

16:31

that was going to happen? Of course not. No,

16:33

I truly did think I would be escorted middle

16:35

of the taping away from the show for

16:37

making no sense and then referencing. Slapped

16:40

with a restraining order. Immediately slapped somewhere

16:42

with something. Yes, of course. Had

16:44

you spent a lot of time, I know you're obviously from Germany,

16:46

and had you spent a lot of time

16:48

specifically in Berlin? The wonderful thing is I don't

16:50

know Berlin at all. This is,

16:53

it's like if you ask a man for a twilcer

16:55

to then say, hey, show me Manhattan. Right,

16:57

right. What? Okay, I don't know the

16:59

Met, which one? The baseball team? Nobody

17:01

knows. It was real. So did you have

17:03

to study up? Oh, I Googled. Yes. Okay,

17:05

good. Yeah, yeah. of

17:08

the student. Exactly. That's all I was.

17:10

Yeah. But it was fun. I can speak the

17:12

language and no one else could speak. Well, I can be, you

17:14

know, we know I have limitations, you know,

17:17

just as a human person, but I was able to communicate.

17:19

Yeah, definitely. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

17:21

And when you're in Germany, I mean,

17:24

do you feel like people, how do people respond

17:26

to your German? Do you think that?

17:29

Well, what do you like? Because I mean,

17:31

I know that people all over the world, the diaspora

17:34

probably have different accents. What where

17:36

does your German accent fall?

17:38

Close to Bavaria. So people think I'm from

17:40

Bavaria. They also think I'm an idiot. But

17:42

of course, that goes across all cultures. So

17:44

that's not accet. Universal. Yeah, welcome

17:47

in any country. That's correct. Yes. Yes, I

17:49

receive slow responses from everyone,

17:51

no matter which country I'm in. Yeah.

17:53

And what about humor wise? Do people in

17:55

Germany think you're funny? Nobody's

17:58

no no no I'm a German man

18:00

from Germany. Just a regular, yeah. Yes, I'm one of 98 mil,

18:02

you know. That's short for

18:04

million. Just a basic German bitch. Yeah, just a basic

18:06

bitch. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's

18:09

what I am. Just one of those chips and the chips of whole cookies,

18:11

bet you bite one.

18:12

How would you describe the German sense

18:14

of humor? What is it called? The

18:17

German, okay, so no sense of humor.

18:20

I've never heard that term before. I've heard

18:22

of this, like in theory. Sounds like the fourth

18:25

dimension. What is that? I don't

18:27

know, music? The G-spot. Oh, good

18:30

luck. Yes. There's

18:32

got to be, is there a stand-up

18:34

comedy scene in Germany? If so, it's located

18:36

next to the G-spot, which I'm not sure. That's

18:39

a nice one. It is, yeah. Well, then

18:41

tried to get in to pay their tutoring minimum for

18:43

years. That's correct. And then, hee-hee-ha-ha.

18:46

No, there's comedy in Germany. I don't understand

18:48

it. I don't belong there. I

18:50

have

18:50

not been excommunicated in official ways,

18:52

but I have never been employed in Germany.

18:55

There's a reason you've been working in the United States for

18:57

a long time. Thank you for saying it. And

18:59

thank you again, America, for employing me. Yeah.

19:04

Well, Conan actually had gone, I didn't realize

19:06

this, but I just rewatched it. Conan had gone to Germany

19:09

when Late Night was on the air. He went to Cologne

19:13

in 1987 because there was a German

19:15

late night show.

19:17

De Harald Schmidt? Harald

19:19

Schmidt. Did you ever watch that? Harald

19:23

Schmidt show is like if you take a photocopy

19:26

of the Constitution and then photocopy

19:28

at 10,000 times, let it

19:30

sit in the rain and then fax that

19:33

to your friend in

19:35

Providence, Rhode Island, and translate

19:37

it into German. That's the Harald

19:40

Schmidt show compared to Kaunen. But

19:42

still as funny as the costumes. Oh, Hilarie.

19:44

Oh, yes. Oh. That stays. Let

19:47

me tell you, Article 2 kills every

19:49

time. No need for a punch-up on that certain

19:51

seizure. So is that

19:53

show popular in Germany?

19:56

Oh yes, but it's because no one could

19:58

receive the Conan show. Yeah.

20:00

So the minute you're seeing this, Kaun

20:02

and she're like, oh, this is the actual Härgeldrich.

20:04

But yeah, so I think he went just to be like,

20:07

did he sue him?

20:08

Well, he did confront them

20:10

a little bit because there were some obvious- Lifts.

20:14

Lifts. I mean, they were doing desk drive

20:16

and they were doing clutch cargo with

20:18

the lips moving on Michael Jackson's

20:20

face. His sidekick was named Randy

20:22

Stichter. Okay, so let's

20:27

just, yeah. They could have kept directors That's

20:29

German. That's actually Andy Richter. It's true.

20:32

They also had another, Liza's the ovulating monkey. That's

20:34

another character. So it's

20:37

very obvious.

20:38

It's weird because there's no outward sign that you're

20:40

ovulating, so it would just probably sit there. Yeah,

20:43

that's exactly. And then there was sometimes, are you okay?

20:45

I'm fine. It's very dry. And

20:48

that was it. I'm having

20:50

a mood swing. Yes. That was

20:52

it. You said that, Mummy. So

20:54

did they fight? Was there fisticuffs?

20:57

No. I don't

21:00

know if he directly

21:02

confronted him, but he put side by side. He confronted one of their

21:04

associate producers and just asked if they watched

21:06

the show and

21:09

mentioned the similarities.

21:11

I wish that the associate producer was exactly

21:13

like Jordan Schlandt. She might've been. That

21:15

would've been good, but it was not so good. She was good at deflecting.

21:18

Right, oh, well, there you go. Oh, nice.

21:20

But no, he appeared on the show and

21:23

seems like was happy to

21:26

just be a part of it. part of it. Oh,

21:29

we just, we discovered a show in China that

21:31

did the exact same thing that that was ripping

21:33

off Conan. Wow. Yeah.

21:36

And well, that's what started

21:38

this new Cold War with China. That

21:40

was it? All over this. Not the trade war. All over this.

21:43

No. No. A lot of people that that's a smokescreen.

21:45

Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. I

21:48

like this. They refused to take that show off

21:50

the air. It is though. I mean, the US steals

21:52

a lot of things. Basically every

21:54

British sitcom that's ever existed.

21:57

all

22:00

of the Danish crime

22:02

shows where it's raining. All the time.

22:05

All the CSIs. Those were

22:07

Danish shows. Were they CSI even? Just

22:10

the CSI Miami with Drizzle. That's basically what

22:12

it was. The concept

22:14

of Miami was Danish. Oh yeah, of course.

22:17

Yes. All crime comes from

22:20

Denmark. From Denmark. Yeah, people don't know that.

22:22

That's correct. That's correct. A little

22:24

history fact, everyone. So, wait, what

22:26

happens on this show? Do you guys just- Do

22:30

you break down like every episode

22:32

of Conan Ever and like talk about episode 104?

22:36

We talked about doing a Conan Watch show

22:38

because

22:39

that would be over 4,000 episodes. Right,

22:41

like oh I guess your friend- That's a good employment.

22:43

Yes. Right. Safe,

22:46

just seems like smart move. And then we'd be like,

22:48

wait, this one's just like the

22:50

one we watched yesterday. Yeah. No

22:52

one will know. Kept doing the same stuff on this show.

22:55

It's fine, great.

22:57

Yeah. Are you, do you think that there's too much content

22:59

out there? That's not an, what? There

23:02

is not enough. Contact. Yes.

23:05

We should be drowning in content. There's

23:07

a serious station that needs to be filled 24

23:10

seven. Yeah. With

23:12

sounds. That's right. It could be

23:14

any sound. Not even words. Why not these sounds?

23:16

Just Briany knows sounds and airpods

23:18

or whatever. Whale songs. And they're adding channels

23:21

all the time. And less time, there

23:23

are an infinite amount of numbers, Ergo,

23:25

and a different amount of potential

23:27

stations. Yeah. Yeah. Just like the multi-race. Right. Right. Right.

23:29

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The serious first. Look, you

23:31

don't say yes to every podcast.

23:34

So you did your homework. You

23:36

knew this wouldn't be an entire

23:38

total waste of an hour. Michael, I receive three

23:41

offers a year. Oh, you're right. And two are

23:43

from you.

23:44

I invited

23:46

you to Berlin. Yeah. You still haven't gotten

23:48

back to me on that. I will check. Yes. It's just a letter.

23:51

Take some time. Right. Yeah. Snails me. You

23:53

just, I'm jumping ahead. Please. But you just did

23:55

Pitch Perfect. The movie. Pitch Perfect. The

23:58

TV show. The TV show.

24:00

film because that was set in Berlin.

24:02

It was set in Berlin. That is correct. It

24:04

literally, it was, it's no green screen action.

24:07

No. You didn't use an arch in Brooklyn

24:09

to stand in for the, you, that

24:11

was shot in. Here, oh,

24:13

this would blow your brains. No. We

24:15

shot in Berlin, but we shot in a green

24:17

screen place in Berlin. So the Brandenburg

24:20

gate was a CGI Brandenburg

24:22

gate. Is that true? No. Oh,

24:25

that would be great. Anything's

24:27

possible. This would be wonderful. Oh my God.

24:29

I went to Paris to shoot a movie and we were mostly

24:31

on a sound stage. Was the sound

24:33

stage for Paris? The sound stage was

24:35

partly for Paris. One day. They had

24:38

a replica of the Eiffel Tower. Oh, this is so stupid.

24:40

On the sound stage, I know.

24:41

Yeah, seriously? Yeah. I

24:43

love it. Just the base or the whole thing?

24:46

The restaurant level. Okay.

24:49

They built the restaurant level. Yeah, they built

24:51

an exact replica. And it was outside

24:53

of Paris. And then had to put the skyscape

24:55

behind. Yes. The Paris skyscape

24:58

was also fake. Yes. Everything

25:00

was fake.

25:01

Everything was fake. This is wonderful. A

25:03

lot of it. Yeah. I mean, we shot a few, maybe

25:05

five days out in Paris, but we were there

25:07

for eight weeks. Did you?

25:10

And mostly on the soundstage. Please tell me this was

25:12

Emily in Paris. No,

25:16

it was all the action

25:18

sequences in Emily in Paris. No, it was

25:20

the movie Murder Mystery.

25:21

This is coming out soon. You mean, murder mystery

25:24

two? Yeah, thank you. The sequence.

25:26

Yes, he knows about sequels. I know

25:29

a little bit. Yes. Speaking

25:31

of Pitch Perfect two. Wow, you guys are great

25:33

at marketing. We're

25:36

getting the word out. That's all this is. It's

25:39

an hour long ad for Pitch

25:41

Perfect. I just was excited to see you back

25:43

in Berlin. Yeah. Were you

25:45

kind of like, hey, I know good dominatrix. With

25:48

my time here with Conan and Good New

25:50

Beach. Did any of that come? Most popular

25:52

guy on the set. They're like, this guy knows Berlin. He knows

25:54

nudity and roughness. No,

25:57

none of this came in handy. Oh.

25:58

Okay. I

26:00

play what people call the straight man, which

26:02

is very confusing. I was like providing

26:05

a plot. And

26:06

yeah, very confusing for me. I was like,

26:08

this is, you know, you don't hire,

26:11

you know, David Robinson to make croissants.

26:13

You know, he dunks.

26:16

Anyone? Nobody knows. It's right.

26:19

Yes, yes, yes. I

26:20

love your 90s basketball references. I

26:22

cannot help it. Yes. Well,

26:25

did you get to add a little bit, you're saying you

26:27

played the straight man, because I wanted to ask you,

26:29

you are one of the fastest,

26:32

most hilarious ad libbers I know. Did you

26:34

get a chance to do that at all? Yeah,

26:36

were you ad libbing plot points? Yeah. Yes.

26:40

I learned very well. Extra-position? Yeah, exactly.

26:43

Grab that bazooka. This

26:46

is an acapella show.

26:48

Because your father died. My

26:50

di- He won't stop. He's a machine

26:53

gun. I did all of those at a place

26:55

that's called the craft services table. And

26:58

that's where I do all of my riffing. And

27:00

then I would go to the stage and then say the words.

27:03

That they asked for. Yes, yes. You

27:05

learn quick that none of it

27:07

works, none of it survives. Yes, yes,

27:10

yes, yes.

27:11

Wow. Did you have to speak German on

27:13

the show? I did have to speak some German. So

27:15

I did this, but mostly English because the show is

27:17

on peacock. Right. No.

27:23

I love peacock. Pecock is great.

27:25

It's a wonderful place. Where's

27:26

the umlaut in that? Oh, that's

27:28

what's crazy is this all umlauts. Okay.

27:31

It's just every letter gets an umlaut. It's like that

27:33

Oprah Winfrey show with the escalates.

27:35

Yes. I'd

27:38

love you to rename all the streaming

27:40

services. Oh, great. Yes. With

27:43

this, Kibonoff,

27:46

which is HBO now pronounced in German. Kibonoff.

27:49

Kibonoff is great. Just a plus. Kibonoff

27:52

max. The word of Max.

27:55

To

27:57

be that's just already. I think it will be as it's German.

28:00

it gets to be a lot of the yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

28:02

Yes. And Quibi was a. Quibi.

28:05

We say bye bye to Quibi. Yes, of course. Quibi.

28:07

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And what's this on?

28:10

What streaming service are we on? Oh, boy. What is this on? Sirius.

28:13

Oh. Sirius. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

28:16

Why is it so poorly misspelled? Does

28:18

anybody know?

28:19

Sirius? Yes. Oh. There are

28:21

five spelling errors. I thought it was somebody's last name.

28:24

And why is Jonathan Sirius? Why

28:26

isn't there space between Sirius

28:28

and XM? They jammed together. Yeah,

28:31

terrible. How is this pronounced? What does XM

28:33

stand for? Oh, I

28:35

knew for five minutes. You did know it. I Googled it

28:37

once. Oh. Extra. And I immediately. Needy.

28:40

Again, extra starts with an E. Isios.

28:45

Sorry, anyway. Well, everything's a shortcut with that.

28:47

Wow. OK. Let's

28:50

talk about being in Berlin

28:52

with Conan. Were you embarrassed

28:54

at all to have Conan with you? I

28:57

mean, did you worry he was going to embarrass you in front

28:59

of other Germans?

29:00

This sounds like something he has done to

29:03

you as you're asking me about it. Yes,

29:06

all of this subtext is trying to

29:09

get you to agree. Tell

29:12

me of the embarrassments.

29:14

I guess I just wondered if you thought, oh, what

29:16

are people going to think of Conan? Are they going

29:19

to accept him? Everyone loved

29:21

him. There was a big crush. Oh.

29:24

Yes, yes, yes. around like one of the

29:26

direction boys. What do they call

29:28

it? Correct direction. What direction? Yes.

29:31

Yes. Uh, he, it's like if a tall

29:33

red head man from correct direction

29:35

was walking around and everyone was making a freak

29:37

out.

29:38

So you think people could tell that

29:40

he was famous or because

29:42

I don't think a lot of people recognized him. Conan

29:44

has a famous walk, you know, he has a walk

29:47

of, I know my IMDB score is pretty

29:49

low and people

29:51

can smell it. Yes. Yeah. But

29:53

yeah, how did you perceive

29:55

that Germans thought

29:58

of Conan? Well, there was... One, he

30:00

had a fight with someone who was telling him about

30:02

a spell check issue with one of the

30:04

episodes. Do you remember like an argument

30:07

about a factual error

30:09

during one of the... Yes. In

30:11

fact, I had driven... He had driven three miles.

30:13

No, three hours or

30:15

three days. I meant three hours. What did

30:17

I say? Three hours. Five

30:19

kilometers. Thank you. He had driven

30:21

three hours. Yeah. Yeah. And

30:24

by the way, only traveled three miles. There's

30:26

a lot of traffic. Very, very

30:28

in... centric circles slowly

30:30

getting until we were pinned

30:32

down. We saw him for hours, but

30:34

he just kept circling us. Could you find

30:36

a place for first? Was he from Bavaria? Did he say he was

30:38

from Germany? I remember nothing, only that

30:40

he disagreed and I felt this is the most German

30:43

man on the street encounter I can imagine. Yes,

30:45

yes. Yes, it was wonderful. He was fantastic.

30:49

I love that guy in Germany because he, those

30:51

are my favorite people we

30:54

encounter where there's no

30:56

warning and they just come up upon him. And I, I,

30:58

I, I think. And hopefully the

31:00

cameras are rolling. Yes,

31:02

my next thing. Yes. That's

31:04

true. They always were. And they're

31:06

not, were you there when, when we ran, cause I know you

31:08

dipped in, you only dipped in and out. So

31:11

what did you do? Yes, what did you do on the

31:13

day off? We were jealous of you cause we'd

31:15

go, you know, we'd have a nice lunch with

31:17

you where you talk on some German terms, which

31:20

was hilarious. And then we'd take,

31:21

we'd go off, do other stuff for a day and then we'd meet

31:24

back up with you, like go to the nude beach. And

31:26

I was just jealous. I'm like that

31:28

bastard is having a great time. It's getting

31:30

massages. Yeah, what were you up to? I have a

31:33

three event rotation in my day. So

31:35

I try to hit all

31:36

three. Very close. Shout

31:39

out, shout out Gordon State. Not

31:42

the film with Natalie Portman. No. The

31:45

boys and the six, what's he

31:47

called? The six, oh six oation. Cause

31:50

it's the six. Yeah, the six pack. Oh the six,

31:52

yeah. Yeah. I like the combination. one

31:55

calisthenics, event two exchange

31:57

rate manipulation.

34:00

Oh, it's not even rude. You

34:02

know, it sounds staring. It's like, why are you staring?

34:04

Germans would don't say that. It's like, oh, your eyes are

34:07

open. And is it anywhere? Like an elevator,

34:09

subway? New beach. Oh, it's Autobahn.

34:12

All the places. Universal. Yeah, universal.

34:14

Yeah, yeah. It's like donuts in America. And

34:17

is there a distance? Like, is it usually

34:19

people have to be at least 10 feet away

34:21

or close by you can just stare?

34:23

Like a Bette Midler from a distance. Yes, like

34:26

a Bette Midler. Yeah, the word looks blue and green.

34:28

You can be as close as you like, as far

34:30

as you like. Sometimes it's just blurry if you have

34:32

a more stigmatism.

34:33

Right. Then you're just looking at a magic

34:35

eye poster. Correct. Or you're having a stroke.

34:38

And you can stare at any part of the person, right? Or

34:40

like down up everywhere. Sure. Yeah. Yeah,

34:42

certainly. Yes. Yeah, we don't care. Okay.

34:45

Yeah. Yeah. It just, you're here, you're

34:47

out, you're in public. Yeah. So

34:49

you are now my property. It's

34:51

like Olive Garden when you hear your family, Except

34:54

when you hear nobody cares, keep staring.

35:15

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35:23

too. So I downloaded the Instacart

35:25

app and sure enough, it has all my favorite

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35:30

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35:32

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apply.

35:51

Okay, we couldn't mention the Berlin show

35:53

without

35:54

talking about the Dominate

35:55

Trix. Right. Yes. Conadine.

35:59

Oh, yes. segment with the dominatrix

36:01

in Berlin. Or he was dominated to be

36:04

clear. Our producer wanted to know whose idea

36:06

that was. I don't remember. I don't remember

36:08

either. That means.

36:10

I fear I

36:12

could have been responsible for it. You know what? It

36:14

sounds like something you'd come up with. Oh, and

36:16

I mean that in a good way. I did some of my own research.

36:19

Okay. And it was just something

36:21

that I thought he would. You enjoyed

36:24

it. Yes. I enjoyed it. Yes, exactly.

36:26

Wonderful. And then I don't know how many dominatrix's

36:29

are producer Jason Chilemi spoke with, but

36:33

boy, did he found the right,

36:35

the one. Yes. She

36:36

didn't, I don't know if she knew that we were doing

36:38

comedy at all. No. No. It wasn't. She

36:41

thought it was, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the

36:43

funniest thing. The funniest thing is don't

36:45

try to be funny, be real and terrifying.

36:47

Right. And that's hilarious. Exactly. But

36:50

she was funny too. But

36:51

it's often hard to get people to be themselves,

36:53

especially in that context, where it's a little bit,

36:55

it's very intimate. But she

36:57

was ready to go immediately. She started at a 10. I

37:00

feel she

37:01

had another client lined up. So she was

37:03

like, let's get this done. Like

37:05

Mike Wallace was coming in a little while. Some

37:08

other TV hoes. No time for

37:10

foreplay. She literally was

37:12

like, I'm here to... Do

37:16

an extra cage, your sperm,

37:17

yes. Yes. Oh,

37:20

yes. Remove it the old fashioned way. By

37:22

force. That's correct. Yeah,

37:24

correct. No surrender or anything. Yes.

37:27

And we had to,

37:29

we pulled her aside and said, no, no, no, no. We

37:32

needed to be a little... It was scary

37:34

initially. Yes, it was. I think Conan

37:37

was like, we were all just, oh

37:39

my God. We just hadn't

37:40

set our boundaries, which I think was a good lesson.

37:42

Thank you. Because that probably should have been

37:44

the first conversation. Right. Yes.

37:47

And so they had to establish a safe... Well, because we wanted to have a safe

37:49

word that was kind of the on-camera safe word, and then

37:51

maybe an actual safe word. Right. just

37:54

his screams, I

37:55

think. Those were the safe words. Just

37:58

to say other ones. got right down

38:00

to inflicting pain. Yeah,

38:02

a lot of physical pain. And there is a whole

38:05

nother, that

38:07

was so action packed our time with her, that

38:10

I edited a whole nother episode

38:12

with her. Just for you. Yes,

38:15

that, exactly.

38:18

Yeah, does that exist somewhere? It does, I thought we'd

38:20

air it. And then Kona was

38:22

like, yeah. My family

38:24

occasionally watches this show. You

38:26

guys know him better than me to stare at his eyeballs.

38:29

Was he enjoying this?

38:30

I think that, I

38:33

do think that initially he was sort of titillated

38:35

by the idea. And then once it

38:37

felt very real, I did see

38:39

fear in his eyes. And that just made me laugh

38:41

harder. But then I think he counted

38:43

to 10 and was like, okay, how do

38:45

I make this funny? And then he was,

38:48

and then I think he was on terra firma again.

38:51

Right,

38:51

because that must be weird for him to lose, you're

38:54

actually ceding control completely.

38:56

This feels, I don't see Conan in

38:58

this situation very much. Yes.

39:01

Right. It was, and it was all being videotaped.

39:03

Right. So there was, yeah. He

39:06

can't start crying. We were,

39:08

we snuck into her small

39:10

boudoir

39:10

slash dungeon. And

39:14

it was Jesse, myself, Jose

39:17

Arroyo, the other writer. I, Jason,

39:19

I think. And the camera people.

39:22

And

39:23

we, it's the hardest I've

39:25

loved. And we were just hiding behind

39:27

a butcher block, I think. Yes. For

39:30

some reason, I remember there being a butcher block in there.

39:32

We were... Like an island? She had like

39:34

a kitchen island? But full of sex

39:36

toys. Oh, sex toys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And

39:39

I was just crouched behind it. Crying.

39:42

Just crying with laughter, yes. And it's like

39:44

we were this far away from him, five

39:46

feet away from him. What a... You could

39:48

smell it. I was gonna ask, what was the aromas? Ooh.

39:52

We had nose, yeah. Bratwurst.

39:54

Probably, of course. Yeah, this checks out. It's very clustered.

39:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is very exciting.

40:00

Is that, I mean, it did

40:02

feel like the right thing to do there. And Germans

40:05

are very sex positive, right? I mean, in

40:07

a way? Yes. We enjoy intercourse.

40:09

We are not afraid of nudity. As a child,

40:12

my childhood TV guide was just a

40:14

topless woman on the cover all the time. And

40:16

that was just how you went to see what was

40:18

playing on the news the next day. Are families

40:20

nude together? Like,

40:23

is that totally fine? Yeah.

40:25

Or in Germany, as they say, a family that nudes

40:28

together.

40:29

Strudels together? Strudels together,

40:31

which is short for strudel. And you get the

40:33

strudel after the beach. That's how you do it.

40:35

Happy endings. That's how you get the sweet

40:38

reward at the end. That was awkward. Yes.

40:41

No, that is a very normal behavior. Everyone likes

40:43

intercourse. No one is scared. We like to talk about

40:46

it. What you like, what you not like. There are

40:48

no taboos. Right. That's

40:50

great. I feel like intercourse is kind of popular

40:52

everywhere. Is this true? Sure. Germans,

40:55

a little

40:55

more. But talking about it, not as much. I mean, there's like 8 billion

40:58

people. We're very open about it. Yeah.

41:00

Yes, very open. Yes. And Kinks are not

41:03

a thing to be ashamed of. We love

41:05

that band. Yes. Yeah. They are great.

41:08

Absolutely. They're not getting back together. It's not happening?

41:11

I don't think so, no.

41:12

What are some acts that are big in Germany?

41:14

I mean, David Hasselhoff famously

41:16

is. Was that real, or was that like a? Yeah.

41:19

Oh, good question. Was real

41:21

and confusing. Yes,

41:23

finally something real. Thank you. It

41:26

was real. He was very popular. Yes. because

41:28

Baywatch was also there, and Knight Rider also,

41:30

everything was very big. And he also

41:33

was just like singing great songs about freedom,

41:35

perfect timing, the wall. Yeah,

41:37

yeah, yeah, not the Game of Thrones wall, the Berlin

41:39

Wall, everyone's focus. Yeah.

41:43

And are there other sort of strange,

41:47

I mean, American

41:49

acts that you wouldn't expect to be popular

41:51

there that are kind of like, maybe

41:54

even ironically popular? I don't know. Oh, we

41:56

don't do irony. But there are

41:59

bands that stop. in Europe and like, oh, can

42:01

this be famous in America? Great. So

42:03

like in sync, Backstreet Boys, Pink, all

42:06

of these pink, yeah, these began in, new

42:08

kids on the block, they began in Germany.

42:11

Oh. Like little Tesla, oh, do

42:13

we like it? Do we like it? Really? Oh,

42:16

cool. Are you aware at the time that

42:18

like you're getting these acts that aren't

42:20

like pink, these American acts are trying out

42:22

there? We just enjoyed it. They're created

42:25

in a lab. Yeah, some exactly. Really? Yeah. Totally,

42:27

yeah. Like, do they like it? Do they like it? Yeah,

42:30

but they received this many times. Are there homegrown

42:33

boy bands? They are also... They try them. There

42:36

are bands in Germany with American

42:38

vocalists that are definitely not American.

42:40

So we have

42:41

my nineties as a child, we have a lots

42:43

of rap. That's like very clearly not

42:45

a German, not an American saying American

42:47

raps, which is very fun. Yeah.

42:49

That is fun. Yeah. Learning

42:51

an American accent and... Oh yeah. What

42:53

are you doing? Everybody go. Everybody here. Look

42:56

at my show. Like this kind of thing. It's very

42:58

good. How are your parents with

43:00

you going into showbiz? Is

43:02

that frowned upon in Germany? Is that a harder...

43:05

I feel like in America now, especially like

43:08

I want to be famous, parents will say, Yeah, yeah, go for

43:10

it. What about with you in Germany? No,

43:13

I have an engineering background, so there was much

43:15

disappointment and confusion. Any

43:18

job that at the end requires you to say,

43:20

like, comment, and subscribe. They've

43:22

got problems with that. Wow. Do you

43:24

ever use your engineering knowledge? And what

43:27

kind of it was it hydraulic engineering,

43:29

civil engineer? What kind of? Environmental

43:30

science and engineering. So focus on environmentally

43:33

related things. Okay. So not real engineering.

43:37

Not real. All fake. All fake. No, no. Software engineering is

43:39

where? Okay. Yeah, all bullsh.

43:42

All bullsh. Did

43:44

you go to college for engineering? Yeah. Oh, so

43:47

were you, did you

43:48

feel like, oh, I have to do this

43:50

in

43:51

a way to please my parents or, But

43:54

when I'm done, I'm going to just go crazy. Watch

43:57

out. Go to Hollywood. Right. I'm

44:00

going to exchange currency. Well,

44:02

I was unhappy as it. I was doing these things.

44:04

I was like, oh, this is not happy. You

44:06

thought you were hoping it might work out. Perhaps.

44:09

But then I ended a hype man contest and

44:11

then I was accepted to participate. Wow.

44:14

I can't think of anything more perfect for you. I

44:16

didn't know what is a hype man. And then I won,

44:19

I've sold this before, but I've won this hype man

44:21

contest and then therefore I was

44:23

like, oh, America, maybe it's a better move.

44:25

Yeah. Okay. Because they have hype

44:28

men there. I mean, I don't... Do they have hype men

44:30

in Germany? With hype women, we have all the hypes. Yeah.

44:33

You're saying that you won that contest.

44:36

That was your first foray. Yes. Then I was

44:39

like, oh, perhaps... To perform. Yes. Maybe I should not

44:41

try to code in C++. I

44:43

should perhaps try to hype the crowds of

44:46

events. Mm-hmm. And then I...

44:47

And then you have an A++. Thank you. Of

44:49

vibes. Vibes. Yes. Yeah,

44:52

good, great vibes. Thank

44:55

you. You're welcome. Did

44:57

you ever actually go on to do any hype

45:00

man work? Yes. I went on tour to

45:02

open for T-Pain

45:03

and also Big Boy of Outcast.

45:06

What? Yeah. Wait, seriously? Actually,

45:08

Little John says what? No, I know. Why

45:11

was this the first five minutes of

45:13

this interview? You

45:16

went on a world tour? T-Pain.

45:19

It was all nationwide. It was called the Textbooks

45:21

and Tickets Tour, sponsored by Chegg.

45:23

Yeah.

45:23

It's sponsored

45:25

by Texas Instruments. Yeah, exactly. Lots

45:28

of TI85s out there. It's very good. Yeah.

45:32

Did you have to do that voice modulator

45:34

like T-Pain did? No, I just screamed

45:37

as a German man and people were confused and

45:39

entertained. Yeah. Yeah.

45:42

I feel like I've told this before. Did you guys not know? No,

45:44

I've never heard this. No. I wasn't

45:46

listening. Oh, okay. Who'd you

45:49

tell it to? Perhaps Andy. Nobody

45:50

knows. Oh, he's done. haven't you done?

45:53

What's left? Listen, I make

45:55

those round. Scam Goddess? Scam? What's that? Count

45:58

me in. You'll

45:58

be finding out soon. Hey, okay.

46:01

We'll let them know you're available for scan. Count me

46:03

in, I am available. Good, yeah.

46:06

Okay, well listen to Andy's podcast to hear about T-Pain.

46:08

Don't do it. And hype Manny. Okay. What

46:11

is a hype man called in German?

46:14

Always, when we don't have the word, we just say the American

46:16

word. So a hype man is a hype man. A hype man. Yeah,

46:18

yeah. Of course, with a phone, we call it a handy.

46:21

Cell phone is called a handy.

46:23

Yeah. I don't know. So if you give

46:25

someone a handy, you're giving them

46:28

your cell phone. as opposed to manipulating

46:30

the penis to ejaculation. Why are you gonna

46:32

ejaculate them with the phone? You could do it.

46:34

It's a little rougher. Well, a razor would work. You might need

46:36

two phones. Two razors. That's called

46:38

a double handy. Two

46:39

razors to be clear, the phone, razor

46:41

phone. Yeah, absolutely. Otherwise you have

46:43

circumcised your friend. We have to say that for legal reasons.

46:46

Of course, yeah, it's a sponsor. Motorola is a big sponsor.

46:48

Yeah, we don't want any unintended

46:51

circumcisions. Aye. Only

46:53

consensual. Yes, no brisses during the

46:55

listening of Inside Conan. Is it Conan

46:58

Inside? Okay. You would

47:00

versus going on. Briss breeze.

47:03

The breeze. Yes. Easy

47:06

breezy. Beautiful. Why

47:10

aren't there any German chain restaurants? We

47:13

have stolen some pizza hut. Pizza hut.

47:16

Yeah, but it's like that was a very nice, wonderful

47:18

restaurant. Where it's very expensive and only

47:20

the deepest of dishes.

47:22

Oh, so it's a fancy restaurant. Yes. In

47:24

P... Oh, I mean, that's... I know in France,

47:26

McDonald's is a nicer thing. Is this true? Yes.

47:29

Oh, well, in Germany, the McDonald's, you must pay for your cash up.

47:32

What? Yes. Is

47:34

that true? You pay for condiments. What? You

47:37

heard me. I mean,

47:39

don't play dumb. What about mustard? That seems

47:41

illegal to have to pay for mustard. I never

47:44

purchased mustard, so I cannot confirm it or

47:46

deny it. I know I sound like CIA. People bring their

47:48

own mustard? Oh, BYOM?

47:51

Yes. I've heard of this,

47:54

yes, but mainly people will purchase.

47:56

Okay. You get patted down, you have

47:58

to, it's like going into a...

48:00

You know, there's a little bit of an X-ray

48:02

before you go. Oh yeah, they don't want

48:02

you. Okay. I understand. No outside mustard. Only

48:04

that hometown stuff. You

48:08

like marzipan? Marzipan,

48:10

yes, I love it. You like

48:12

it? Yes. Are you forced to say that?

48:15

No, but it is a... Is someone gonna hurt you? I

48:17

understand this is how I feel of the licorice. Oh, uh-huh.

48:20

Black licorice? No, go away with it, please. I'm

48:23

okay with red licorice. Well, that's not

48:25

licorice anymore. To me, that is a new thing. Or is

48:27

this also licorice? Oh, true licorice. Yes.

48:30

Yeah.

48:30

Anise, the flavor

48:33

of anise. Thank you. Anise. Say

48:35

that. What are we saying? Anise.

48:38

Uh-huh. It's not an ease. You

48:40

don't like the taste of anise. It's anise. No. What

48:43

a shock. I don't put anise in my mouth.

48:45

Very nice. I don't lick an anise.

48:47

I mean, that's very popular these days. You don't insert your tongue into the anise.

48:49

Anise, thank you. I like it. Very

48:51

nice. Keep going. Yes.

48:54

You're just getting warmed up with the anise

48:57

chunk. But

48:58

Marzipan you'll fuck with. Literally,

49:01

yes. I guess. Yeah,

49:03

sorry, that was the first F-bomb of the show, so I

49:06

was confused. We were allowed.

49:08

It began there directly after Annis.

49:09

I mean, we were talking about sticking our

49:11

tongues in the Annis. What is Toblerone?

49:14

Is that Swiss? Oh, you're thinking, yeah. Swiss

49:17

triangle chunkable chocolate where each piece-

49:19

With the nougat inside. No, but I'm wondering

49:21

what countries. Swiss. Okay. Do

49:24

they have nougat in Germany as well?

49:26

We have nougat, yeah, we have this, but we have other

49:28

chocolates also, milka, very popular, kinder

49:31

uber haschung. Kinder

49:33

bueno. Do Germans get along with the Swiss

49:35

or they like kind of just... On paper. We

49:38

technically, we are friends with everyone. On

49:40

paper. Right.

49:42

I love that in Germany they have other

49:44

fun kinder things, like there's an egg that's

49:47

full of toys that are very... Chocazards.

49:49

But they sell them there. That's what it's called. It's

49:52

called the Chocazards. Yeah, that's what we call it. They banned

49:54

that here, but you could still get that in Germany. That's

49:57

what it's called.

50:00

Yeah, it's called a choking

50:02

hazards and it's a little egg inside of

50:04

the egg and you make and build a tiny toy and

50:07

the chocolate is delicious.

50:08

It's for like three year olds, yeah. Okay,

50:10

well. That

50:13

didn't mean that to be judgmental. That was rude. I

50:16

don't know. It's the German Cadbury egg.

50:18

It's the Cadbury egg of Deutschland without the cream. Without

50:20

the creamy. Cream free. Yeah, the

50:23

milky yolk. Well, I see why you go back to Germany

50:25

all the time, these candy treats. Snacks

50:28

and candy treats. Yeah, yeah. back

50:30

when you go, do you stock up? What the problem

50:32

is this, I have a large empty backpack, a

50:35

Rooksack, we're in Germany, Rooksack. I pack

50:37

it,

50:37

I bring it on the plane so as to not let the cold

50:40

of the bottom plane, you know, when you have

50:42

sometimes a freezing chocolates and then it has

50:44

a white film on the outside. To

50:47

prevent it, I bring it with me into the,

50:50

what you call that, the hall, I don't

50:52

know what you call the inside of the plane. And

50:54

then I eat everything on the plane, on the way

50:57

and that it is empty. So I have gained 82 pounds

50:59

of sugar.

51:01

It's like a service pad, only service candy.

51:03

Yes. Yes, correct. Therapy

51:05

chocolate. It does not go in the hole. Therapy.

51:08

Thins into the anus of the plane. That's correct.

51:10

Yeah. Um,

51:13

and do you like to go to any German

51:15

nightclubs or anything when you're back? That's not

51:17

really your scene, or do you go?

51:18

I try to enter. I am not allowed to entry.

51:21

Okay. And I am, you know, this like loud

51:23

as in volume and then this loud as in styles.

51:26

I'm screaming when I arrive at these.

51:29

Oh, you

51:29

could, they wear a lot of black. Yeah, I don't

51:31

like this. Yeah. Yeah, bright like big city

51:33

as they say it, yes. But you won't compromise.

51:36

You won't wear black

51:37

in order to gain entry. That's correct. You

51:39

have to accept me as my ROYGBIF

51:42

self, and if you don't like it, ROYGBIF,

51:44

very nice. Then we go home. Yeah, and then I

51:46

play at my own pace and place.

51:48

What is ROYGBIF in German? Because it

51:50

has to be all different letters. ROYGBIF.

51:53

That's what I thought. We

51:55

waited in a long line, Jose and I waited in a long

51:57

line to get into a German nightclub.

52:00

we were there. Which one? And did you get in?

52:02

We did get in, but only because we, somebody

52:04

put us on the list. We never would have gotten in. It

52:06

wasn't Bergen, right? It was Bergen. Oh, Bergen.

52:08

Oh, Bergen. Bergen. Have you been to Bergen? I've

52:10

waited in the lines and served people Bratwurst

52:13

on the way out of the lines. Very lucrative.

52:16

Oh yeah. Do they

52:17

have, they have stands

52:19

of bratwurst like they do in LA

52:21

with a hot dog? No, it's all forbidden, but I

52:23

have, I wear some trainers, some joby shoes. You bring

52:25

extra. And I'm ready to run at any

52:28

moment, any momentito when the police come.

52:31

So I serve two to three people, run, do

52:33

an currency exchange manipulation, come

52:36

back. Do a little staring.

52:38

Yes, a little staring. The rule

52:40

of threes.

52:41

Have you done some busking in Germany?

52:43

Oh, the performing of arts. Yes,

52:45

the performing of arts in the open space.

52:48

Yes, I've done some stripping there.

52:51

Okay. Yeah. Is that, yeah, that's

52:53

considered an art? Absolutely.

52:57

What? Yeah. Nudity?

52:59

Peanut vagina outside is art. And

53:01

do you make any money doing that? No, no,

53:04

no, no. I received screams. I've

53:06

received food items thrown. Yes.

53:09

Well, there you go. Yeah, so I stopped. Okay.

53:12

Yeah, but now I play the trombone.

53:14

Really? Oh, that's cool. Yeah.

53:17

I brought it with me during our tour with Conan, and

53:19

I wanted to play it. I never played it one time. You

53:21

never had to play it. I carried it with us through 18

53:24

cities. You brought it... Comedy

53:26

tour. Oh, and what a segue. That's,

53:28

sorry, that makes no sense. To the hour five

53:30

of our

53:31

interview. Somebody saw the clock. No.

53:36

Yeah. Yeah, let's get there, uh-huh.

53:38

It's when Super Mario plays quicker. Yeah, yeah, right.

53:40

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

53:42

Wow, that's a great point. You went on tour with Conan.

53:44

It happened somehow, yes. Yeah. Yes.

53:47

That was the Stock Tips tour?

53:50

Yes, in 2018, Conan did a standup tour.

53:53

Yes. Correct. formerly done

53:56

I mean this tour in 2010 was was

53:59

all stand-up but it was This was

54:01

more him doing

54:03

like 20 minutes. Well, you came out, you

54:05

were kind of the host. Yes, the opener. You set the

54:07

table. I did. You introduced Conan.

54:10

You introduced all the acts. I think I did it, yes.

54:12

Right. Yes, correct. I think that's correct,

54:14

yes. And then the

54:17

best part of the show in some ways was

54:19

at the end, Conan would take questions from the audience. Yes.

54:22

And you- You got to really shine. I

54:25

just- Flula would go out to the audience and run around.

54:28

Instead

54:28

of people coming down to a microphone, would

54:30

go to them, which was great, because you'd

54:32

kind of break the ice with them, which was

54:34

hilarious. Yeah. Before the

54:36

question even got asked. It was wonderful. To

54:38

find out what their deal was. Well, I did the three things, calisthenics

54:41

running around. Yes. And then I did

54:43

a little currency exchange. I was

54:45

selling them NFTs. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

54:48

It works in the United States as well. And then the hard stare. It's

54:50

a hard stare while they spoke with Conan. Mm-hmm.

54:53

To put them at ease. That was your time. That

54:56

wasn't your me time. It wasn't your goonies

54:58

under the well. That was our time. It's that

55:00

time up there. Down here, yeah. And so

55:02

you must have gotten to see a lot of the US that

55:04

way that you might not have normally seen. Wonderful

55:07

rooms of hotel. I saw some nice streets

55:09

and also theaters as well.

55:12

Sound stages. Sound stages, lots of donuts. I love

55:14

donuts.

55:15

Yeah. Donuts are great. What's your donut

55:17

order? Crispy cream. Crispy cream. Just

55:20

a regular. Crispy cream. Oh,

55:22

it's... It's as

55:24

if

55:25

you could pass this in America. I know. Right?

55:28

Crispy cream. Crispy cream. Yeah.

55:31

I love this. A cake donut, a blueberry glazed

55:33

blueberry cake donut. I

55:35

like the cake donuts too. Oh, stop those presses.

55:37

The pumpkin spice donut also good from crispy

55:40

cream.

55:41

Yeah. That's good to know. Pumpkin spice, not

55:43

my flavor. I find crispy cream too sweet.

55:46

Oh yes. Oh, you like a savory donut.

55:49

Well, I like, I just like it cut

55:51

it down a bit. Yeah. Yeah. What? Bitter.

55:54

You want a bitter donut? No, but take the sugar

55:56

from that one crispy cream. and put

55:58

that over a dozen other.

56:00

And I think that'd be plenty of sugar. You like that

56:02

drug dealer that cuts the heroin with like- Yes,

56:04

yes. I like fentanyl in my donuts.

56:06

Mm-hmm. Great.

56:08

What a nice image. I like substitutes.

56:11

What were some of your favorite spots to visit

56:13

on that tour? Oh, I- Do

56:15

you have any good memories? I draw to Nashville. Oh,

56:18

yeah. Because yes, there was some country boss. I

56:20

would go, everyone was sleeping, but I wanted to

56:22

hear- Yeah. I wanted to hear that way down

56:24

yonder at the Cheddar Hoochie.

56:25

Uh-huh. Do you have cowboy boots? Who? No.

56:28

No, okay. I have Lederhosen, a cowboy boot

56:30

is a very tight and I have what I call

56:33

it wide feet. Okay. Yes.

56:35

Yeah. So you need more of a cowboy flipper. A cowboy

56:38

Birkenstock, like if we could combine the, those

56:40

two would be very nice, but I would. That seems

56:42

like a great market. I know. That I think

56:45

is gonna get made. Yes. A Birken

56:47

boy, yeah, a cowboy, a Birken boot. Birken

56:50

boot. Birken boot. Birken boot. Birken

56:52

boot. Birken

56:53

boot. Birken boot. Birken boot.

56:55

I can see what Birken boot. Birken boot. Birken

56:58

boot. Put on a Birken

57:20

They

57:28

did play, I received- The icky, breaky-hearted. Oh

57:31

yes, I would give to the DJ person some

57:33

dollars because I do love the Chattahoochee

57:35

song.

57:35

Well, you're as a DJ, one DJ

57:37

to another. Do you know what is DJ etiquette?

57:40

Oh, I don't know. Can you make requests? Is that

57:42

okay? I stare at them. Yeah. And

57:45

then I think no one else is staring. So then they approach

57:47

me to want to perhaps fisticuffs, but

57:49

then I say, hey, how about- I'm

57:52

your friend. Yes. Do you have Adam

57:54

Jackson's Chattahoochee? And then they

57:56

play it.

57:57

So anyway, when you go to a club and there's

57:59

a D. DJ, do you, are you, do you

58:01

feel like, oh, I got to put my hands up when he tells us

58:04

to like, I'm, I'm going to be supportive. The

58:06

problem is I'm always caring. So when they say this,

58:09

I'm too concerned. Also, I

58:11

would like, correct. I do bring my trombone

58:13

to the DJ because to the event,

58:16

then they will look at me because why is a man carrying

58:18

a slight trombone to a rave? And

58:21

then we speak.

58:21

We keep ignoring the trombone thing. Why did you

58:24

bring a trombone on the tour? I always

58:26

wanted to announce the show like at

58:28

the top of the theater like, and just,

58:32

it never worked out. Did you? I

58:34

don't, yeah, I don't remember the trombone. Did you ever even rehearse

58:36

it? No. Okay. I

58:39

told no one, but I carried it through 18 cities.

58:40

And do you know how to play the trombone or just that,

58:44

well, that would be playing and yes, I can do this. Okay.

58:47

And also I can play other songs as well. Okay. Yeah.

58:50

I should have brought it. You had it today with you. Yeah. No.

58:53

We'll have to take a break. Go home

58:55

and- Okay, we'll be right back. We'll get some truck. Yeah.

58:59

You should have- Yeah, you should have said something. Why

59:01

didn't you insist on

59:04

getting that trombone in there? I think Conan would have loved that. So

59:06

who

59:06

would have wanted to play with you? I was very much the

59:09

don't get terminated was my goal.

59:11

Terminated. To get promoted. You

59:14

think so? Yes.

59:16

With

59:16

the glissando? Yes. Very nice.

59:18

You do play. Yes, I know the words. Wow,

59:21

what kind of, what music can you play? Do you play

59:23

with a group like a brass band or

59:25

is it just solo only? Mostly

59:28

solo, just to prevent injury. But

59:30

I used to be in a scar band. Really?

59:33

Oh, okay. The janitors. What?

59:36

Yes. Oh, wow. Yeah, we were like those bossy

59:39

bossy mite tones. Yes.

59:41

So you had a lot of those checkered

59:44

vans. Checkered pasts, actually. Most

59:46

of the members were criminals. Uh-huh.

59:49

And also real janitors. Yes, real janitors

59:51

and overalls.

59:53

Yes. Uh-huh. Oh, you had a, you had a uniform.

59:55

Oh, of course. Oh, janitors. Right. Okay.

59:58

Yeah, oh, that's right. with the theme

1:00:00

Oh, yeah. Go deep. Go deep with the theme. Yeah.

1:00:02

Yeah. That's cool. Did it, did it,

1:00:04

what did you call your groupies? Oh,

1:00:07

um, the dish racks. Ah,

1:00:09

the dish racks. The dish racks. That

1:00:12

purple stuff you throw on the floor. We started

1:00:14

with that, but it's, it's too long. Too long.

1:00:17

Yeah. And probably some of them didn't

1:00:19

like that term. I would guess.

1:00:21

Wow. You're, we do always

1:00:23

peel back a layer with you, Flula. There's

1:00:25

still a lot. Thank you. Just like

1:00:27

your logo for inside Conan, a photo

1:00:30

of Conan's son. The

1:00:32

inside of his purse.

1:00:33

Is

1:00:35

this show sponsored by Ruth Bolton?

1:00:40

I've just been watching Game of Thrones and

1:00:42

his house flays the, flays his prisoners

1:00:44

living. No.

1:00:48

Oh yeah. Ruth. Oh, that he's awful.

1:00:51

It was one of the North Ramsey snow.

1:00:54

When they became Ramsey Bolton and he was like tormenting

1:00:56

See on Greyjoy removing his pee

1:00:58

knife. You're just watching that now. Oh,

1:01:00

for the fifth time. Okay, okay. Because

1:01:02

if you remembered all those characters, I'd

1:01:04

just be very, very impressed. Michael, I'm on

1:01:06

a, I have a stretch routine that involves a side

1:01:09

hold on each side for two minutes, and

1:01:11

I need to distract myself. So I watch them with

1:01:13

the watches on the wall. Wow,

1:01:15

yeah. Yeah. Is it a hold up

1:01:17

the fifth time? Oh, yeah. Okay.

1:01:20

You learn new things all the time. Yeah, it's

1:01:22

like reading the Bible. The

1:01:27

white walkers are, that's Old Testament.

1:01:30

Um, are fanny packs a German

1:01:32

thing? I

1:01:35

love it. Uh, our German,

1:01:37

no, they are an efficiency thing for me, which maybe

1:01:39

makes those German. I like to wear

1:01:41

pants with very tight sometimes

1:01:43

hugging

1:01:44

all my items. You can't stick anything in those pockets.

1:01:48

You said earlier that you traveled with

1:01:51

a backpack. And I call

1:01:53

bullshit now on your little fanny pack. Oh,

1:01:55

you can only do one or the other? Yeah. You've not

1:01:58

seen the Venn diagram of backpackers?

1:02:00

With fanny packs? Nope. Well,

1:02:02

I'm in that. Never seen it. Never

1:02:04

seen it. I'm in that overlap. All right. No,

1:02:07

this makes sense to me. You cannot carry everything in a fanny. That's right.

1:02:10

Why carry anything? What do you... Hey,

1:02:12

this is like a Us Magazine

1:02:14

segment. What's in your fanny pack? Oh, yes. Delicious.

1:02:17

Let's see what's in there. Right now? Yeah.

1:02:21

Show us. I would only show you two items. Okay.

1:02:23

There's some personal items in here. Condiments. Condiments.

1:02:26

Oh, I thought you didn't know that term. There's a pen. This

1:02:29

is not just any pen. GoldenEye.

1:02:31

Ooh. Oh, GoldenEye. It's a microphone

1:02:33

pen and a wallet. Oh, very- Currency,

1:02:36

currency. Not my wallet. Not your wallet.

1:02:39

No, I found it on the street two weeks ago

1:02:41

and I'm just waiting to see someone that looks

1:02:43

like it's theirs. Who

1:02:45

do you think that wallet belongs to? I love

1:02:47

this question. I refuse to open it. It's

1:02:49

like if I found your diary on the street, Jesse,

1:02:52

I would never read it. Oh, but you would so easily be able

1:02:54

to find its owner if you opened

1:02:56

it. But- And it's other-

1:02:59

Yeah. license. It belongs to Kristen.

1:03:02

Really? Stuart? Yes. I

1:03:05

returned someone's wallet one time. Yeah. Me

1:03:07

too. He was so grateful he bought me this beautiful

1:03:09

art book. It was a weird choice.

1:03:11

An art book? An art book. Did

1:03:13

he know you liked art? I

1:03:15

don't know. It was just a weird thing. He

1:03:18

probably was re-gifting it. I was thinking. I was going to say this

1:03:20

feels very specific. But I still have it. It sounds

1:03:22

like he found the art book on

1:03:24

his sidewalk. Yeah, gave it to you. Yeah. He

1:03:26

was paying it for it. Exactly. Wait, Michael,

1:03:29

you found a wallet. You know what, Flula,

1:03:31

I did. And? Well, I called

1:03:33

the person and returned it to him. He

1:03:36

drove over to get it. And? Did

1:03:38

he give you anything? I was like, and? Hello, I love art.

1:03:41

And? I was hinting about some of the artists

1:03:43

I love. And I

1:03:45

got a thank you very much. I appreciate

1:03:47

it. Okay, what? Yeah, that's

1:03:49

it. That's okay. I felt

1:03:52

it was a good deed. All right. Oh, you do what you

1:03:54

want someone to do for you. Yeah, that's some good karma,

1:03:56

exactly. I really thought more was, this is the way

1:03:58

you said it sounded. No!

1:04:00

No, I just said I did

1:04:02

that once too, but there

1:04:04

was no enumeration. And all you

1:04:06

got was a thanks? Well,

1:04:08

you kind of let him know that you were expecting

1:04:11

something. Whereas I, he knew. I

1:04:13

sent him a photo of my living room. Of

1:04:16

your coffee table. Blank coffee table. This

1:04:22

clear glass needs a little cupboard.

1:04:24

Hello. That's

1:04:26

how you

1:04:29

say hello. That's how we started your book ending.

1:04:31

Now we're going to make up stuff you've done with Goven. Oh,

1:04:33

right. Yes. When

1:04:36

you went to Serbia. Oh, we played Twister

1:04:38

in that airport. Yes, yes.

1:04:40

In Finland, in Helsinki. We did. Remember,

1:04:42

you got diverted to Helsinki. Of course. I

1:04:45

let the entire Pan Am staff defeat us.

1:04:47

Right.

1:04:48

This was in the

1:04:50

late 80s. This was in the late 80s. Well, there's

1:04:52

a time travel machine. Yes. At

1:04:54

the Helsinki airport. That's correct. You go in, you

1:04:56

can go back and play Pan Am Twister. But not too

1:04:58

far. Not too far. That's right.

1:05:01

That's right. That was a TWA terminal,

1:05:03

one of the two. The great thing is the Pan Am reference

1:05:06

will still work for years from now. Yes, that's

1:05:08

true. It's just as defunct now. So recovered.

1:05:12

You did spend a lot of time with Conan on

1:05:15

planes and in airports. Yes.

1:05:17

What do you like to do with Conan during the downtime?

1:05:20

Oh, I like to- Do you improvise

1:05:22

and do bits? Conan loves to do this.

1:05:25

I was, I know how to do a card. I've

1:05:27

started talking like you. I realized,

1:05:29

do people do that when they're around a foreign

1:05:31

accent, that they start to match

1:05:32

it? What are you matching? Please tell me more.

1:05:35

What are you doing? No, I just, I think

1:05:37

I said yes. Oh, yes. Yes.

1:05:40

Do I say this? No, I don't know. I'm just, I

1:05:42

feel like I'm creating an accent.

1:05:43

Sounds like a Portuguese grandmother. I

1:05:45

don't know. Oh,

1:05:48

I like to play card games and card tricks. So

1:05:51

I would show for Colin some tricks of cards.

1:05:54

Like, oh, is this your card perhaps? I don't

1:05:56

know. Oh, it is.

1:05:56

Was it real magic? know those tricks

1:05:59

or is it a bit? Where are you always wrong? Like

1:06:01

some gandar shit. I know,

1:06:06

I just mean, are you doing a thing where you're like, oh, is this

1:06:08

your card? And it's never his card? Oh,

1:06:10

like a bit. Like a joke. Oh, no, no,

1:06:12

it's actually the card. Yes, it's actually accurate. Okay,

1:06:14

you know that. How do you know how to do that? I went

1:06:16

to Las Vegas with my parents. They tried

1:06:18

to get me into the casino, a stardust, when

1:06:21

I was only 15 years old. I

1:06:23

did not look old enough, so I stayed in the motel.

1:06:26

And then I learned with a book how to do all

1:06:28

of the tricks of cards. And where were

1:06:30

you with your parents when you turned to the trombone?

1:06:32

Yes. Oh, this was a great seven? A

1:06:34

jazz

1:06:35

club. Great seven? Yeah, we were

1:06:37

at a, exactly. We were at a jazz club in the East. And they wouldn't let

1:06:39

you in? They would not let me in once more, but there was a man

1:06:41

there taking a smoky break and he's like,

1:06:44

hey, boy, want to blow on my horn? And

1:06:47

I was like, sounds good. Does it involve your anus?

1:06:49

He said no. And so we

1:06:50

played. What

1:06:53

a beautiful wrap up. It all worked out. Yeah.

1:06:55

You knew how to wrap, bring it all together. So that

1:06:58

was the end of the herald. Yes, exactly.

1:07:01

Thank you for your suggestion. Well,

1:07:03

Phyllis, thank you so much for coming

1:07:06

back. Thank you, Jesse. Thank you, Michael. Thank

1:07:08

you. What a joy. Thank you. And

1:07:10

hopefully once again, your memory of

1:07:13

talking to us will wear off and we'll do this again

1:07:15

in two years. Yeah, we have forgotten we would say the exact

1:07:17

same things. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

1:07:21

Marzipan. Yeah. So

1:07:23

many Marzipan references. We're

1:07:24

all just AIs, are we, at

1:07:26

this point. Yeah. Might

1:07:28

as well be. Well, get this comment, give this

1:07:30

podcast a like, comment

1:07:33

and subscribe on the places.

1:07:36

Serious.

1:07:36

Now your parents will never listen to this. Yeah, they won't.

1:07:38

I thought you said there was an irony in Germany. Was

1:07:42

that what that is? Yeah. Cool. Oh,

1:07:45

you meant to. Yeah. Okay. Five stars. Yeah. I've meant

1:07:47

to deliver. Thanks guys. Thanks.

1:07:50

Bye. Bye.

1:07:56

Thank you, Donka.

1:07:59

very nice For joining

1:08:01

us. It's always great to see Flula. He's a force

1:08:03

of nature. I know. A ray of sunshine. He

1:08:05

is. He's the best. And

1:08:07

his clothing, I always love

1:08:09

his clothing choices.

1:08:10

I do too. I know. I feel it's inspiring.

1:08:13

It's very like,

1:08:15

I don't know that he's bought clothes in the last 20 years,

1:08:17

but maybe even 40 years. His

1:08:21

clothes have not been made in the last 20 years. And

1:08:24

you know what? It's time for one of our favorite

1:08:26

favorite segments that we do every week,

1:08:29

fan questions. Yay. And

1:08:32

we have one today from Ruth Sangha.

1:08:34

I hope I'm pronouncing it correctly. Hi,

1:08:37

Mike and Jesse.

1:08:39

I love the podcast so much. Thanks for making me

1:08:41

laugh and brightening up my life

1:08:44

every week. Oh, thanks, Ruth. Wow.

1:08:47

It's really sweet. Whose idea was it to

1:08:49

sneak Conan a dictionary on the, wow,

1:08:52

she has the date, on the February

1:08:54

13th, 2003 episode of Late Night with

1:08:59

Conan O'Brien, after Jennifer

1:09:01

Garner incorrectly corrected Conan's

1:09:04

use of the word snuck,

1:09:06

ingenious, from

1:09:08

a longtime Conan fan, oh, who loves you,

1:09:11

oh, how sweet, Ruth. Thank you, Ruth,

1:09:13

for those nice words.

1:09:15

It's a good question too. I love

1:09:17

this question because I actually

1:09:19

know the answer. I know the answer to this.

1:09:22

It's who

1:09:25

snuck Conan, that dictionary.

1:09:28

Our long time, late night, tonight

1:09:31

show, and Conan on TBS

1:09:33

writer, Michael Gordon. Michael,

1:09:35

are you there?

1:09:37

Yes, I am. Hi, Gordon, how are you? Great

1:09:41

to see you. I'm good, how are you guys? Good, we're

1:09:43

good. Thank you for doing

1:09:45

this. We just- You bet.

1:09:48

came up this morning and it was

1:09:50

like, oh, let's try to get Michael Gordon because

1:09:52

he is the man with the answer. Yeah,

1:09:55

well I do love that question because it's a fun

1:09:57

story.

1:10:00

I'm up on the ninth floor. The writers and staff are up

1:10:02

on the ninth floor watching on the monitor. In 30

1:10:04

Rock. I'm sorry. In 30

1:10:06

Rock. Yeah. Yep. 30 Rock

1:10:08

back in New York and the show was shot

1:10:10

on the sixth floor. So I'm watching

1:10:13

the show with the Kylie, Brian Kylie,

1:10:15

the writer I share an office with and

1:10:17

Jennifer Garner says the ridiculous thing about

1:10:20

Snuck.

1:10:21

And I say to Kylie, no, that's

1:10:24

wrong. She's totally wrong. And

1:10:27

we have this. Can

1:10:28

you explain what exactly happened

1:10:30

between her and Conan? Yes. She

1:10:32

was telling a story and she

1:10:35

talked about, she sneaked into something.

1:10:38

Then there was some usual thing in the

1:10:40

interview, and then Conan picked it up again and said,

1:10:42

you snuck in and she jumped

1:10:44

on that and said, no, snuck isn't

1:10:47

a word, you went to Harvard, you should know that. It

1:10:50

was very funny and Conan played it really,

1:10:52

really well.

1:10:53

I heard her say that

1:10:56

and I said to Kylie, no, she's wrong.

1:10:58

We had this bright red

1:11:01

hardcover dictionary in

1:11:04

our office. Of course, you did. I got

1:11:06

the dictionary and

1:11:09

I showed Kylie and

1:11:11

I said, I'm going to

1:11:13

run down there and see if maybe we can get

1:11:15

it to him in time. I dashed

1:11:17

down the hall and around the corner and

1:11:19

dashed to the stairwell. I

1:11:22

burst through the doors and I looked

1:11:24

down and

1:11:24

there's Brian McCann

1:11:27

holding an identical dictionary, half

1:11:31

a flight down. He was literally two

1:11:33

seconds ahead of me with the same dictionary.

1:11:35

Oh, that's great. Brian McCann

1:11:38

was another writer on late night at the time. Yes.

1:11:41

Thank you. So we both raced

1:11:44

down the stairs. We raced down the hallway

1:11:46

to the airlock where the studio

1:11:48

is. McCann gets there

1:11:50

first and his dictionary gets

1:11:53

onto the show and Conan is hilarious.

1:11:55

you know, proving to Jennifer Garner that

1:11:57

she's dead wrong.

1:11:59

And it's a really

1:12:01

fun clip. And it was

1:12:03

almost my dictionary.

1:12:08

If I hadn't wasted time

1:12:10

talking to Kylie, I think maybe we'll

1:12:13

never know. Maybe it would have been my

1:12:15

dictionary. Well. I

1:12:18

guess was closer to the stairwell, which

1:12:21

is true. Mine was. Okay.

1:12:23

Mine was. Well, I'm embarrassed. Thank you,

1:12:25

Swings. Well, I'm embarrassed because we

1:12:27

shouldn't be talking to you at all. talking to

1:12:29

Brian McCann. I know

1:12:31

you're gonna edit this out. You're just gonna talk to McCann

1:12:33

now. I feel

1:12:35

terrible that we're talking to you and not the man who

1:12:37

actually made it happen. What

1:12:39

that's, so wait, you

1:12:41

and McCann show up at the studio. There's an

1:12:43

airlock like the double doors that

1:12:45

go in the studio. How did that book

1:12:48

actually get to Conan? Was there a commercial break

1:12:50

or was it in the middle of the segment? There

1:12:52

was a commercial break. And I'm guessing

1:12:54

that McCann, you'll have to ask him, Can

1:12:57

must have gotten the attention of Steve Hollander,

1:13:00

the stage manager. Then

1:13:02

they probably approached

1:13:04

Jeff Ross, who then probably approached

1:13:07

Conan and said, hey, we've got this, and

1:13:09

Conan probably said, yes, give

1:13:11

that to me. Then

1:13:14

if you watch the clip, he played it really

1:13:16

well. Yeah. He got her

1:13:18

back. That's so great. Yeah,

1:13:20

it would be terrifying to get to burst open

1:13:22

the doors and it's like, it's too late.

1:13:25

That's right. They've already come back. Which

1:13:28

is often the way things go. But

1:13:31

it is one of the funniest images I

1:13:33

have in my head of those days when

1:13:36

just I can see it McCann

1:13:38

on the stairs racing down with the exact

1:13:40

same dictionary. It was just so

1:13:42

funny. Were you mad? You had

1:13:45

to be kind of mad. Like, God damn

1:13:47

it. Yeah, we're all competitive. I'm competitive.

1:13:49

Sure, of course. Absolutely. Oh,

1:13:51

we should explain to listeners what a dictionary is.

1:13:54

Oh, right. Right.

1:13:56

It's just before phones. read book

1:13:59

that you could carry. What would

1:14:02

people do now actually? They race down with their computers?

1:14:05

That's right. You'd have to grab your laptop and

1:14:09

really long extension cord.

1:14:10

Well, I love that you both have the same great

1:14:13

idea. I mean, that's a good sign

1:14:15

that you're in the right place. Right.

1:14:19

The right writing staff. And

1:14:21

I love that we had the answer for

1:14:23

a question. Usually we just make stuff up. We

1:14:26

do. This is the closest we've gotten.

1:14:28

We were one way. This one had layers. Yeah,

1:14:31

that's right. Yeah,

1:14:33

no, those are some of my favorite moments

1:14:36

when, I'm trying to think of some

1:14:38

other moments like that that would happen in the middle

1:14:40

of the show. I

1:14:42

could think of one other time when they called me to race

1:14:44

down. It

1:14:47

was toward the end of the show and

1:14:50

Jimmy Page had just sung

1:14:52

with Counting Crows. Yeah. And

1:14:55

Chris just was sitting next

1:14:57

to Conan. He'd mentioned he was disappointed that

1:14:59

he didn't get to see the masturbating bear because

1:15:02

he was a big fan of the character. And my phone

1:15:04

rings two seconds later and they say, get

1:15:06

down here, you got to put on the costume.

1:15:09

So I raced down, I put on the costume

1:15:12

and I go out and during the good nights,

1:15:14

you see me suddenly appear and

1:15:16

Chris Robinson of Black Rose

1:15:19

is delighted to see me. And we have a fun interaction.

1:15:22

and he puts his legs out and I do my thing right in

1:15:24

between him and stuff. And Jimmy Page is sitting there,

1:15:26

which is huge. And that's really

1:15:28

fun. And so that

1:15:30

was another last minute race down

1:15:33

the stairs moment.

1:15:34

It's like a superhero moment. It

1:15:38

is. This time I had to put on my costume. You're

1:15:40

right. After

1:15:42

that you realized you need to have the masturbating

1:15:44

bear costume with you at all times, or

1:15:46

just come to work dressed as the masturbating bear. Put it under your

1:15:49

clothes like Superman.

1:15:50

And you could pull off your regular clothes. They

1:15:52

should have installed a pole. So when I slide down,

1:15:54

I appear as the bear. Oh,

1:15:57

that's good. We should have ended every-

1:16:00

show with the masturbating

1:16:02

bear coming out during the credits. Instead

1:16:05

of like the SNL cast waving our version

1:16:08

is

1:16:09

the bear. And I guess,

1:16:12

uh, we should explain you were the masturbating

1:16:14

bear. Yes, of course. Rarely

1:16:17

someone else would Dom the costume only

1:16:19

if you were in firm or doing

1:16:21

something else, but, but you could tell,

1:16:23

you could tell if it was, if it wasn't, it was,

1:16:26

you really didn't have a desk. It

1:16:28

was. Yeah, it was no one

1:16:30

hit a diaper like you. Well,

1:16:33

thank you for joining us. Yes. It's

1:16:35

great to see you and telling

1:16:37

us a story about Brian McCann. That was great.

1:16:40

Yes. Thank you, Ruth, for this

1:16:43

question about Brian McCann. Yeah. Thanks,

1:16:47

Gordo. Talk to you soon. All right. See

1:16:49

you guys. Bye. Bye.

1:16:51

Bye.

1:16:55

That's fun. I appreciate his honesty.

1:16:58

Yeah. Because he could have easily taken credit for that.

1:17:00

That's right. Well, no, then you can hear from

1:17:02

McCann. Well, McCann will never know.

1:17:04

McCann doesn't listen to this. We'll see.

1:17:06

We'll find out.

1:17:08

And hey, we love your lister questions.

1:17:10

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1:17:41

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1:18:16

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1:18:19

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1:18:24

spokesperson for Consumer Cellular

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