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painful. You're

1:01

listening to inside of you with Michael

1:03

Rosenbaum. Hello, everyone. How are you? Ryan

1:06

Tayas is in his house. Is that

1:08

what the kids are saying? Yeah, yeah,

1:10

man. Geez, I don't know. Yeah, it's all

1:12

come back around. The slang has come

1:15

back around. Yeah, we're, yeah. Hey, thanks

1:17

for listening and listen and listen,

1:19

you know, I appreciate it. And if

1:21

you're here for Stephen Aug and you

1:23

don't know who the hell I am,

1:25

which is, is not unlikely. All I ask

1:28

is if you like the interview and

1:30

you're like, hey, this doesn't suck. Write

1:32

a review. Subscribe. Listen to

1:34

this podcast. This is the little

1:37

podcast that could. And this podcast

1:39

really, we keep going and it's

1:41

because of my patrons. I love you

1:43

guys, every one of you. Thank

1:45

you for any of you that

1:47

contribute and donate to the

1:49

podcast. Go to. patriot.com/inside of

1:52

you. P-A-T-R-E-O-N. And there's like

1:54

different tears and you get

1:57

your name shattered out every

1:59

episode. and you get certain discounts,

2:01

and you get occasional zooms, and

2:03

you get like live, there's just

2:05

so much stuff going on, and

2:07

you're helping the podcast. Think of

2:09

it like a screener. By the

2:12

way, on the inside of you

2:14

Online Store, if you go there,

2:16

there's Leximus Scripts, Autograph By Me,

2:18

and Lex Luthor Funko Pops, not

2:20

many left, and a bunch of

2:22

all of those shirts, and autographs,

2:24

and lunchbox, small of a lunch

2:26

box, and also look at this, look

2:28

at this, look at this, It's awesome. You

2:30

got to get one. Go to the inside

2:33

of you online store. And my

2:35

Instagram. Go to At

2:37

the Michael Rosenbaum, if you want

2:39

a cameo, get my link tree.

2:41

See what cons I'm doing. And

2:43

Tom Welling are doing. We're doing

2:46

the Smallville Cruise coming up. So I

2:48

hope you guys will be on the cruise. And a few

2:50

other things. The Rosie's Puppy Fresh. Right? Yeah. You know that

2:52

stuff? Yeah. It's available on Amazon. It's my new product for

2:54

your dog. My dog's breath smelled like crap and I was

2:56

like, I got to fix this and I came up with

2:58

a product. And you just put a cap full in your

3:00

dog's water, odorless, tasteless. And so many people are saying they

3:03

love it. So this is great. So I hope that you

3:05

guys love it. And the talented farter, my book is on

3:07

Amazon. It's a soundbook and it's a lot of fun. And

3:09

it. And it's a lot of fun. And it. And it's

3:11

a lot of fun. And it. And it. It's a lot

3:13

of it. It's a lot of. It's a lot of. It's

3:15

a lot of. It's a lot of. It's a lot of.

3:17

It's a lot of. It's a lot of. It's a

3:19

lot of. It's a lot of. It's a lot of.

3:22

It's a lot of. It's a lot Not philosophical, but

3:24

more just very present. Yeah. Like Stephen is,

3:26

Stephen Aug is super present, super talented,

3:28

and he goes to the beat of

3:30

his own drum. Yeah. And I love

3:32

that about when people do it. I'm

3:34

very envious of that. When people just,

3:37

you know, and obviously, you know, he's got

3:39

some things going on. I've got some things

3:41

going. We all have things going on, but

3:43

he knows who he is who he is

3:45

who he is who he is who is

3:47

who he is who he is who is who

3:49

is who is. And that's really special

3:51

to see. Didn't you get that from

3:53

him? Yeah, no, he was, he's very

3:55

comfortable. He's, he's done a lot of

3:57

growing and he's able to have like

3:59

a very. find like worldview and

4:01

just perspective on stuff, which

4:03

I really like. Also Canada.

4:06

Yeah, absolutely. And we talk

4:08

walking dead, of course, and

4:10

everything else. He's done a

4:12

ton of stuff. But let's

4:14

just get inside of Stephen

4:16

Aug. It's my point of

4:18

view. You're listening to inside

4:21

of you with Michael Rosenbaum.

4:29

Inside of you with

4:31

Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded

4:33

in front of a live studio

4:36

audience. When did we meet? That's

4:38

what I'm trying to figure

4:40

out. It was, because we

4:42

have many mutual friends, but

4:45

it was at a con. Yep, right? Years

4:47

ago. But where? When? When? I'm

4:49

terrible. Are you terrible?

4:51

Yeah, last week. I don't

4:53

know. I'm literally, something could

4:55

happen last week or a year

4:57

ago. I really don't know. Is it

5:00

Europe? Was it in Europe? I feel

5:02

like it was like a Germany or

5:04

Portland Oregon. It could have been. It

5:07

could have been Portland Oregon. It was

5:09

probably at the height of Walking

5:11

Dead too. I don't remember that.

5:13

I just remember which is what

5:16

I remember generally about humans and

5:18

like shows and anything I do.

5:20

Is the connection to someone or not?

5:22

Yeah. No, we all it is connection.

5:24

You know, I knew you, but we'd

5:26

never met. But we'd never met. But

5:28

all I remember you were having back

5:30

pain, back issues, but we immediately

5:33

just started having a lovely

5:35

chat. Yeah. But it wasn't about like,

5:37

how's the call? It was just, we

5:39

had this great chat. Yeah. And then

5:41

it was like, all right, we'll see

5:43

you soon. Yeah, I remember too, but

5:45

I just can't remember where we are.

5:48

But what I do love is that you

5:50

come to my house and you

5:52

bear gifts. You brought this

5:54

passion fruit that I, it's

5:56

probably from your garden, book

5:58

of poems catharsis volume one

6:00

catharsis my arse

6:02

is capable of more than

6:04

flesh I mean you know

6:07

when I say when I

6:09

look at your Instagram and

6:11

stuff it's it's it's like I

6:13

what I love is you are

6:15

you and I don't know how

6:17

long it's taken to you to

6:20

be as much of you as

6:22

you are and I don't know

6:24

how that makes sense but what

6:26

I'm saying is Like it's I

6:28

feel like you're spiritual. I feel like

6:31

you're you're grounded I feel like

6:33

you feel a lot like you're an emotional

6:35

guy You kind of wear your emotions on

6:37

your sleeves. That's just what I get and

6:39

I feel like I'm a good judge of

6:41

character and I feel like You like

6:43

everyone else were trying to find purpose.

6:45

We're trying to find all these things and

6:47

you know things happen along the way which

6:49

is life someone else was saying you know,

6:52

you know, like I said something like

6:54

it's not just about the good things in

6:56

life the bad things and how you

6:58

get through them. And it's, you know,

7:00

it's not just, I think people think

7:03

of, you know, life, it's just, it

7:05

should be all good, it should be

7:07

all good, but you know, but life

7:10

is about learning, life is about growing,

7:12

life is about, you know, and things

7:14

don't happen our way. But life can

7:17

also be really good and still be

7:19

painful as fuck. I mean, that's the

7:21

thing, and it's also how

7:23

we experience life. And when I

7:25

feel it overtakes the ability to

7:27

understand, and on a basic level, I

7:29

mean, like when we were first going to

7:32

do this a couple weeks ago, whatever, and

7:34

I was like, oh, I'm like, I was

7:36

in a, I was just depressed, I wasn't

7:38

feeling good. I was going to say, I

7:40

felt like you were, you weren't very in a,

7:42

in a, in a, in a good place, you

7:44

were trying to work through it. Yeah, and I'm

7:46

very much, I do, I do, and I just

7:48

wrote about this, this, this, this, this, this, this,

7:50

this, this, this, this, this, this, this, I don't

7:53

think I've articulated it well, but

7:55

it has something to do with.

7:57

I am adept and good at

7:59

getting rid of the cloudy days, the

8:01

dark days. How do you do it?

8:04

Then that can be whatever, right? Cloudy

8:06

days can be depression, can be something

8:08

you're just going through, that's a rough

8:11

time. And for me, it used to

8:13

be two weeks, fetal position or just

8:15

like depressed. Couldn't get out of bed

8:17

like serious depression. Well, I've never had,

8:20

actually, I've never been able to, and

8:22

this is what a therapist once said,

8:24

it said you're not, it was, you

8:27

know, the depressed, whatever the depressed, whatever

8:29

the label, whatever the label was that

8:31

they used that they used that they

8:34

used that they used, that they used,

8:36

some of the other labels that were

8:38

put out there because of the fact

8:40

that I still do get out of

8:43

bed. Like I've never, the fetal position

8:45

is more just that feeling. Yeah. I've

8:47

still, I still get up and do

8:50

something, even though I'm feeling like shit.

8:52

It doesn't feel as good and it

8:54

generally helps get me out of it.

8:56

But I have like, that's my morning

8:59

routine of yoga and spinning on the

9:01

fucking peloton. That's not for any sort

9:03

of like. It's for here. Look at

9:06

my, it's all for there. Side effects

9:08

include looking pretty sweet. But it's not

9:10

like, that doesn't serve me any purpose.

9:13

Do you know what I'm saying? It's

9:15

not like I'm, hey, checking myself out

9:17

or it has nothing to do with

9:19

that. It has to do with putting

9:22

my head in a bit more of

9:24

a better place. And I can only

9:26

get that through. Because I can't run

9:29

anymore as you know like our bodies

9:31

just Some of our bodies just break

9:33

fucking down. Well, I always talk about

9:35

this but I you know it's science.

9:38

It's like if you're sedentary if you're

9:40

not doing anything It's not just physically

9:42

you're gonna get fat and you're gonna

9:45

get this you can have heart disease

9:47

all these things that can happen to

9:49

you if you don't move But your

9:52

mind You will get clinically depressed by

9:54

not moving around, by not leaving the

9:56

house, by not getting exercise, by not

9:58

having enough interaction with people connection. Yeah.

10:01

And when you understand that... then when

10:03

you're having those days, you know you're

10:05

feeling like shit and you don't want

10:08

to do anything, but you know you

10:10

should probably do something. And it's pushing

10:12

yourself to do that. And you stay

10:15

in a routine, right? You do this

10:17

every morning, no matter if you feel

10:19

good or bad? Yeah, I do. Aside

10:21

from obviously, like if I'm traveling or

10:24

somewhere or I can't, like that's the

10:26

great thing about yoga is you can

10:28

do it anywhere. You can just, you

10:31

know, and I take my mat with

10:33

me and... I'll just do it in

10:35

my hotel room. I can do it

10:37

in this space, even if it's 15

10:40

minutes. I feel the benefits of it

10:42

in my head. So yeah, it's part

10:44

of, I need that, but also along

10:47

with that, like sort of the morning

10:49

routine, if you will, includes my coffee.

10:51

Like I take my coffee with me

10:54

everywhere in the world. So it's usually

10:56

my, it's kicking horse coffee, which you

10:58

think at this point I should get

11:00

a fucking sponsor. And like when my

11:03

missus orders the box of it, she's

11:05

like, why don't I approach them? And

11:07

I'm like, please do. I've tried. Well,

11:10

did you Instagram them? Oh, yeah. Yeah,

11:12

I've done that. Sometimes it works. Sometimes

11:14

it does. And they've just never and

11:17

but this is for years, like I'm,

11:19

like, I'm, I'm serious. It's three sisters

11:21

mountain range. It's a medium roast. But

11:23

I literally, like when I was filming

11:26

in Manchester, I for three months. I

11:28

took enough beans and I take a

11:30

grinder and my bowdom. Just because the

11:33

morning, I'm gonna start my day the

11:35

way I wanna start it. And that

11:37

cup of coffee from Three Sisters just

11:39

makes me feel like, ah, that and

11:42

then a book, something to read, something

11:44

or an art book. Just for like

11:46

20 minutes an hour, whatever it is.

11:49

That's my morning. So I have my

11:51

bowdom and I get my book that

11:53

I'm reading or if, you know, a

11:56

lot of times I love. You know

11:58

I love like the books like the

12:00

Francis Bacon books or Lucian Freud or

12:02

art the art books that have the

12:05

writing. So you're stimulated by the beautiful

12:07

art but then I love it. interviews

12:09

with the, you know, the art books,

12:12

I'm like a Rizzoli or the, you

12:14

know, you always get them at Hauser

12:16

and worth the big art books. Right.

12:18

Beautiful books. That's how I start my

12:21

day. The Bodum, then obviously, usually includes

12:23

cleaning out the pipes because the coffee

12:25

for me is like half loved dogs.

12:28

But you weren't always in the yoga,

12:30

were you? No. You weren't in all

12:32

this health stuff and all, you were

12:35

probably at a different place in your

12:37

life, which you probably look back and

12:39

go, I wasn't as happy as I

12:41

am now. You know, I don't know

12:44

if I'm any, I, you don't know

12:46

if you're any happier. I think I'm

12:48

the same. You're thinking you're the same

12:51

as 10 years ago? Does work? Yeah,

12:53

circumstances are changed. Oh, I'm certainly happier

12:55

now. Like, but also that's my personal

12:58

life. Like I just have such peace

13:00

and strength. with my home and my

13:02

relationship and my missus. It's just like.

13:04

And all these things kind of happened

13:07

to you. Like you just said outside,

13:09

you said something like you got your

13:11

dog, you got your girlfriend in a

13:14

truck and a truck. Now that happened

13:16

literally four years ago before COVID. At

13:18

the same time? Yeah, pretty much within.

13:20

Well, because I was shooting in Vancouver

13:23

snow piercer. So I had to, I

13:25

wanted to drive up and. I think

13:27

we'd already done a season or the

13:30

COVID came. I forget the exact time,

13:32

but I definitely wanted a truck just

13:34

to go like camping. Like I'm an

13:37

Canadian boy. Yeah, you'd think, but it's

13:39

so not true. Because like I'm, you

13:41

know, I'm full on boogie, like I'd

13:43

rather have a little boutique hotel than

13:46

like sleep on the rocks. I did

13:48

go camping with a dear friend of

13:50

mine that I did the short film

13:53

Frank and Three. I just got the

13:55

truck. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie the truck. Charlie.

13:57

Charlie my friend. Oh, your friend Charlie.

14:00

trucks my friend. Yeah, have you ever

14:02

named for your truck? I don't. Yeah.

14:04

My mom has, she's always named her

14:06

cars and I think Dizzy Gillespie is

14:09

the current car which I don't understand.

14:11

She calls it Dizzy Gillespie. Right. Bless

14:13

my mom. But so anyways, we did

14:16

go camping. Charlie and I went and

14:18

he came with me when I rescued

14:20

Sotva, my dog. He was in the

14:22

truck, which I also discovered Charlie has

14:25

a gag reflex because when I rescued

14:27

the dog from It was from an

14:29

organization, so I didn't rescue on the

14:32

street. It was, I forget where it

14:34

was. But you made the choice to

14:36

adopt. Yes, definitely. Yeah. Always adopt. And

14:39

the dog saw it at that point,

14:41

Vince Scully, what's the name? Vince Scully,

14:43

he's announcing the Dodgers. High, drive and

14:45

right field. And the big question will

14:48

be, whatever happened to Oil Can Boyd.

14:50

I don't know. I don't do an

14:52

impression, but you know what I'm talking

14:55

about. That could be spot on, because

14:57

I'd never heard of Vince Scully. I

14:59

didn't know. And so they were like,

15:01

Vince Scully. I was like, what's Vince

15:04

Scully? And they're like, you know, like,

15:06

well, you're Canadian, boy. You don't know

15:08

Vince Scully. But I don't even know

15:11

sports. I'm a hockey guy, I grew

15:13

up in Calgary. I still don't skate.

15:15

I still don't skate skate. Don't ski.

15:18

I'm more of a Canadian than you

15:20

are. Yeah. And I know every province

15:22

and territory, and I know the anthem.

15:24

I'm more of a Canadian than you.

15:27

Probably. I always say the government kicked

15:29

me out. Kick me out. Kick me

15:31

out. Kick me out. Um, but so

15:34

Charlie and I did go camping during

15:36

our first sort of friendship date. And

15:38

I had got the hard cover on

15:41

the truck and Saut came with us

15:43

and we went out to what we

15:45

referred to as poop island, but I

15:47

don't think that's it's it's. official name,

15:50

yeah, probably not, but you get the

15:52

idea why. So anyways, Charlie would, he,

15:54

I thought he was going to bring

15:57

an air mattress, he didn't, so I

15:59

just had a yoga mat, so he

16:01

was going to sleep down on the,

16:03

by the water, beautiful, like sleeping by

16:06

the water. right? How gorgeous. He gets

16:08

to hear the waves. I'm neurotic. I

16:10

think I'd wake up drowning. Somehow a

16:13

tidal wave would hit. He just thought

16:15

this is beautiful. I, of course, was

16:17

like, well, I'm sleeping in my truck.

16:20

I got a bed for a reason.

16:22

I got one of those boogie double

16:24

air mattresses. Like, so that was my

16:26

camping. Yeah. And then Charlie ended up,

16:29

actually, after three days we realized he

16:31

was sleeping on horrible rocks. So I'd

16:33

get up, I'd go hiking with the

16:36

dog and go explore, he would literally

16:38

pass out in the truck for a

16:40

few hours because that was only sleep.

16:43

He would get. So I'm not a

16:45

camper. You're out a camper. I just

16:47

got it to drive to Vancouver with

16:49

the dog when we were shooting up

16:52

there. That was the idea. And then

16:54

yes, it was like, because yeah, it

16:56

was the beginning of COVID. And I

16:59

think I got onto the dating app

17:01

just for, yeah. and it was great.

17:03

How many did you go through before

17:05

you found one? I have to say

17:08

I always had success on Ryan. With

17:10

good good women, nice women? Some I'm

17:12

still friends with. Right? But I also

17:15

wasn't like I'm not your typical like

17:17

I had friends the really good-looking friends

17:19

that like you just look at them.

17:22

Like oh you're so good-looking. and they're

17:24

like shirtless and then they're on the

17:26

motorcycle and then they're holding a puppy

17:28

and then they're on a boat and

17:31

then they're jumping off a boat and

17:33

doing yoga poses. Mine was I was

17:35

told from a friend that mine was

17:38

the most standoffish like because I think

17:40

I was probably giving the finger in

17:42

a few of the pictures but it

17:44

was me. Yeah it was you. See

17:47

that's the problem with dating apps is

17:49

when you see them in real life.

17:51

You're like, I'm looking for this person,

17:54

you don't even know who they are.

17:56

Are they that different? Yeah, I mean,

17:58

most of the time, because it's glamour

18:01

shots, how can I look the best

18:03

I could look? And the reality is,

18:05

you're setting yourself up for disaster. Why

18:07

would you advertise yourself as something so

18:10

much different than what you are? which

18:12

is kind of goes back to like

18:14

the Instagram thing and to each his

18:17

own how you use it for me

18:19

it's sort of this art installation and

18:21

it's also my part of my need

18:24

to express myself like do something creative

18:26

it holds me accountable to write something

18:28

or to try to express something or

18:30

I see it usually like just today

18:33

there was walking the dog and there

18:35

was this interesting reflection. as I walk

18:37

by, which appears like I'm checking myself

18:40

out probably, but I think I was

18:42

just, I saw this interesting reflection with

18:44

these two palm trees. I was like,

18:46

oh, that'd be funny. And then I

18:49

came up with some lyric in my

18:51

head about two palms or something, and

18:53

then, and then it's a need to

18:56

express it. So I just put it

18:58

out there. And then it's gone, and

19:00

I leave, but it is, it's all,

19:03

yeah, it is all me. Good because

19:05

false advertising is everywhere because I how

19:07

many times you see a trailer for

19:09

a movie You're like you know what?

19:12

That's good, and then it's a big

19:14

piece of shit But they got the

19:16

trailer and wow they mean they sold

19:19

it. Yeah, and then you go out

19:21

there and you're like this isn't the

19:23

movie I was expecting to see Every

19:26

so it's it's always a disappointment, but

19:28

I you know the older I get

19:30

the more sort of what's the word?

19:32

We're grudging sort of like old like

19:35

fucking, I don't want to see this

19:37

and I don't want to see that.

19:39

Are you, do you see a lot

19:42

of movies? Do you see, you don't,

19:44

you've never been into this, even when

19:46

you were, you know, you were in

19:48

the biggest game in history, grand theft

19:51

auto. Like, you were like great, I

19:53

mean, that game, but you didn't play

19:55

games? No. You never really, it wasn't

19:58

your thing. No, even growing, I mean,

20:00

growing up, I played, I played Don

20:02

Quay Kong. I love to, I have

20:05

it downstairs. Really? Yeah. Or the, I

20:07

love the, the Miss Pac-Man with the

20:09

Gallagher, Galaxy. I have a full-size Gallagher

20:11

machine downstairs. That's the one where it

20:14

just goes. Yeah. Double the ship. Yeah,

20:16

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it goes, little,

20:18

little, little, little, little. Yeah. And it

20:21

joins it. And then you're like, yeah.

20:23

Yeah, and the challenging stage. That's cool.

20:25

Yeah, that's great. But even those, like

20:27

I look at that, I'm like, how

20:30

do they do that? Yeah. Like, who

20:32

has the science to put that together?

20:34

And now you can't even play these

20:37

games are so difficult. They're so crazy.

20:39

I just also have never, it's never,

20:41

um... Interested you. Yeah, I mean, I

20:44

love books. I read books and books

20:46

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23:44

you have a good upbringing? Were

23:46

your parents very, uh, uh, they're

23:48

like, hey, you need to read

23:50

more? You need to this, you

23:53

know. I have to say, um,

23:55

you know, my mom was a

23:57

big reader. We read different than

23:59

she still reads. It's like she's

24:01

83 now and still. always reading

24:03

but not my kind of stuff

24:05

like she likes a good old

24:07

detective novel or something very easy

24:09

to digest right and but my

24:12

dad never read my dad never

24:14

read a book and he would

24:16

read the newspaper when he came

24:18

home from work did the crossword

24:20

puzzles no didn't do the crossword

24:22

puzzles literally would just like watch

24:24

news and read the paper I

24:26

never saw my dad pick up

24:28

a book yeah I'm kind of

24:31

in between your mom and dad

24:33

That sounded weird. But I'm sort

24:35

of like every once in all.

24:37

Did it sound weird? I don't

24:39

know, but I'll read a book

24:41

every once in a while, but

24:43

I love movies and I love

24:45

documentaries and I like all that

24:48

stuff. So I, you know, but

24:50

I'm not a big reader, I

24:52

love history. I love nonfiction. I

24:54

don't really read fiction. You probably

24:56

do. I'm not a big, I

24:58

mean, yeah, it's fiction. I love

25:00

documentaries, probably more than anything. You

25:02

know, I used to be... You

25:04

know there were the years in

25:07

New York right those those first

25:09

few years in New York doing

25:11

a the criterion collection oh yeah

25:13

going to act in class and

25:15

in the morning I would watch

25:17

the film the criterion film and

25:19

then the day would go and

25:21

then at the evening I would

25:23

watch it again with the director

25:26

commentary right and I went through

25:28

all the classics I went through

25:30

every film just like I did

25:32

novels. You know, I used to

25:34

go through sort of the Russian

25:36

literature, then the French, then the

25:38

British, and all of them based

25:40

on sort of the teacher mentor

25:42

student. You read like Dostoevsky and

25:45

all that shit. You read all

25:47

that stuff. Like Dostoevsky to Gogel,

25:49

you know, whoever was below. And

25:51

that's when I was living in

25:53

Europe. That was sort of my

25:55

education. I didn't go to school.

25:57

So I would just read all

25:59

of them in the Burtz, the

26:02

French. Yeah, I just loved it

26:04

and I still love literature like

26:06

words are obvious. most important thing.

26:08

Book on poetry. Yeah, and that's,

26:10

you know, that's one of hopefully

26:12

five that we've got going. But

26:14

those were all, again, like, Carthisis,

26:16

you know, born out of a

26:18

place of pain, really. Like, that's

26:21

the most painful one that that

26:23

one was. Oh, I like this

26:25

one. Sitting is not sitting around,

26:27

not waiting for the moment, not

26:29

expecting and about face, not seeing

26:31

a change, not needing it from

26:33

that, sitting in this moment, full

26:35

life living it. saddened by the

26:37

nefarious greed and livened by the

26:40

love. Never those two shall meet.

26:42

The darkness sits outside, the lightness

26:44

sits inside me, staying in open

26:46

to all. That's a lot of

26:48

like feeling. That's therapy, what I

26:50

read from that. That's sort of

26:52

therapy. It's sort of therapy. It's

26:54

a release. And it is. You

26:56

know, these are, I'm not an

26:59

editor, re-editor, rewrite. This is it.

27:01

It is just, it's sort of

27:03

raw off the heart from the

27:05

cuff or from the cuff off

27:07

the heart. It's just something that

27:09

it kind of generally perculates and

27:11

it's in there and something comes

27:13

to me. And then I need

27:15

to get it out and express

27:18

it and then the idea or

27:20

the hope is to express it

27:22

in such a way that what

27:24

I just felt or experienced is

27:26

then put out there. It doesn't

27:28

necessary. You know, it doesn't mean

27:30

I'm cleansed after and I'm like,

27:32

oh, now I feel better. I'm

27:35

still living in that shit. Do

27:37

you care about what people think

27:39

of you? Not really. Do you

27:41

care at all? Uh, I shouldn't

27:43

say I don't care because obviously

27:45

I care, but you have to

27:47

filter, right? You have to its

27:49

boundaries. So it's like, what do

27:51

I, who am I putting the

27:54

value on as to whether or

27:56

not you... Know me. Who am

27:58

I letting get a rise out

28:00

of me? Who am I allowing?

28:02

Yeah, because honestly, there's it's like

28:04

whenever you know, there's things that

28:06

are said about you or Like

28:08

I know for a while the

28:10

video game with GTA everyone was

28:13

saying like oh He hates being

28:15

called Trevor and because I probably

28:17

said to someone well my name's

28:19

not Trevor like it just couldn't

28:21

be Because right my name is

28:23

Stephen right and and and even

28:25

if in like okay the walking

28:27

dead Simon, okay that when people

28:29

call you by your character name

28:32

it's kind of weird because i

28:34

don't it i kind of get

28:36

it but i'm also kind of

28:38

like me but then to be

28:40

a cartoon like video game character

28:42

cartoon like there's just no way

28:44

i could be a cartoon you

28:46

know what i'm saying right So

28:49

I just I can't tell them.

28:51

So I'm sure at some point

28:53

I was like, you know, what

28:55

are you fucking talking about? And

28:57

then it became this thing that

28:59

I hate Trevor. He hates GTA.

29:01

Don't call him Trevor. You'll freak

29:03

out. Which isn't the truth at

29:05

all. No, it's great character. He's

29:08

awesome. And like I was still

29:10

Sean and Ned were friends and

29:12

we were just doing a comic

29:14

on this past weekend. It's just

29:16

people believe. So those kind of

29:18

comments don't bother me. Don't bother

29:20

me. think or perceive you as

29:22

or doing or saying or thinking?

29:24

That I don't know. That I

29:27

don't know because I don't know.

29:29

Like you all of a sudden

29:31

go, wow, I'm not hired for

29:33

this now. Well, there's certainly a

29:35

lot of stuff I'm like, wow,

29:37

I'm not hired for. The story

29:39

of our lines. That seems to

29:41

be a pattern that continues to

29:43

flummox me and also be quite

29:46

different from what people I think

29:48

expect or see of me versus

29:50

the reality are so fucking different.

29:52

You know, like people think I'm

29:54

at the table, you know, like

29:56

we have a multitude of friends

29:58

that we know or acquaintances that

30:00

are at that table, the table

30:02

of you pick and choose, right?

30:05

It's, you've got that break. You've

30:07

been accepted. Yeah. It's different when

30:09

you're not at the table. Because

30:11

you can have friends at the

30:13

table going, yeah, you should be

30:15

doing this. I'm like, yep, I

30:17

agree. But I'm not. Because I'm

30:19

not at the table. You're at

30:22

the table. Right. So it's a

30:24

bit of a, there's quite a

30:26

difference between. Do you like or

30:28

love acting? I love acting. Love

30:30

it. Yeah. Being on a set

30:32

is enough for you. Man, like

30:34

as we know, being on set

30:36

is, you know, being in your

30:38

trailer, right, hanging out. Okay, go,

30:41

act. No, it's taking a nap.

30:43

Yeah, you're right. It's being in

30:45

that moment when they say action.

30:47

It's action cut. That's the moment

30:49

you like to be in. And

30:51

the playing, I mean, like words

30:53

or words, acting is acting. So

30:55

whatever the medium is, it's acting.

30:57

You're still. and with TV and

31:00

film the repetition I don't mind

31:02

like when you get you know

31:04

people complaining about 75 takes now

31:06

granted I haven't been in that

31:08

position so maybe I would be

31:10

rolling my eyes but fuck I

31:12

mean like I've done so many

31:14

Indies the past two years like

31:16

way too many I shouldn't say

31:19

way too many but you know

31:21

ones that aren't necessarily gonna move

31:23

my needle forward which is as

31:25

I get closer to the end

31:27

of life I am I would

31:29

like my needle to move because

31:31

the days are getting, you know,

31:33

life is just what it is,

31:36

right? I mean, granted if we

31:38

live within a certain time, life

31:40

expectancy. But even on some of

31:42

these films, well, the Indies are

31:44

different too, but like being able

31:46

to do it over and over,

31:48

like every time I get to

31:50

look at you and say something.

31:52

I'm like, okay, and then next

31:55

time I'm excited to try it

31:57

again and see if I can

31:59

do it different or here. it

32:01

different or respond differently every single

32:03

time and that's like when a lot of

32:05

actors like you know I don't I don't

32:07

want to read my lines before I'm like

32:10

what the fuck should read these lines a

32:12

fucking bazillion times go on

32:14

set and it should still sound fresh

32:16

and it's still like I just

32:18

but that's my way of working

32:20

right that's not like everyone has

32:22

their technique so you have to

32:25

respect everyone's technique but I do

32:27

love acting and it's why I

32:29

do you know I have something

32:31

potentially coming up that we're sort

32:33

of still in negotiation of like

32:35

and you know Sarah my girl

32:38

says just because you get to

32:40

act I would say do it

32:42

because you're a much better

32:44

person when you are acting. So

32:47

you're you're happier when you're working. You

32:49

don't know even with the yoga even

32:51

with all the discipline and all that

32:54

stuff There still feels like a void

32:56

or like an emptiness when you're not

32:58

working. Those are passing times I mean

33:00

when I've read like when two weeks

33:02

ago whenever it was when we connected

33:05

I think I had done six novels

33:07

in five days That's reflective of how

33:09

mentally I'm doing Because that means I

33:11

needed fucking I needed help to

33:13

navigate this darkness. So I can read

33:15

by my pool in my pool. Sarah's

33:18

friend came by and I was in

33:20

a floaty. We've got these boogie floaties,

33:22

of course. Used to have fun boys,

33:24

which are great. They're pink and they're

33:26

colorful, but then they keep popping and

33:28

then you feel like you're adding to

33:30

the shit in the world because the

33:33

plastic. And so after like six of

33:35

them popping, you're like, okay. Let's get

33:37

a boosy one. So we got these

33:39

boosy ones that look like West Allen

33:41

floating in the pool. Like they're fucking

33:43

beautiful. But so you're in there reading,

33:45

you're on them reading, that's what you're

33:47

doing. Like nothing around you, there's nothing

33:50

there, you were in the zone. Surrounded

33:52

by passion fruit, vines, like it's very

33:54

secluded our backyard, just beautiful, wild parrots.

33:57

You'll have to stop by whatever you're

33:59

in that. part of town. I love

34:01

to. And you know with Saut and Meath

34:03

misses. But so I was sitting there floating

34:05

and it's very much like sexy beast, right?

34:08

The opening, Ray Winston. Without the banana hammock,

34:10

I'm still very old-fashioned. I wear my surfer

34:12

shorts. I mean when I'm by myself I'll

34:14

definitely tuck them up so I don't get

34:17

funny tan lines. But I mean you can

34:19

see I'm very broad. Yeah, you are. And

34:21

so it's because I sit there. and I

34:23

just float and I just read. And it

34:26

was very funny because Sarah had a friend

34:28

stop by to get some passion fruit. And

34:30

there I am. And again, I do try

34:32

to put on sunscreen for those listening. Sunscreen

34:34

is very important. It's very important. No, it

34:37

is. It is very important. You could see

34:39

people my age who didn't use it. And

34:41

I didn't use it always. So I look

34:43

at my skin, I'm like, I'm okay, but

34:46

like, it could have been a lot worse,

34:48

but I have friends that still don't use

34:50

sunscreen. I'm like, how do you do that?

34:52

And I'm like I do now at least

34:55

go to get it all checked out. And

34:57

I do say you're good, you really should.

34:59

And I do like I try to put

35:01

it on my nose. Now I try to

35:04

be, you know. I had skin cancer twice,

35:06

but not. It wasn't it wasn't serious or

35:08

I just cut it. They just cut it.

35:10

Oh, they just cut it. Oh, they just

35:13

cut it. Oh, they just cut it. Oh,

35:15

they just cut it. And then it. And

35:17

then it just cut it. And then it.

35:19

And then it. And then it. And then

35:21

it's monitored. And then it's monitored. And then

35:24

it. And then it's monitored. And then it.

35:26

And then it's monitored. And then it's monitored.

35:28

And then Every six months you just get

35:30

body check, you know, but I mean these

35:33

things are smart and preventative Yeah, but so

35:35

anyways the point is is I was floating

35:37

and I'm reading and she stops and she's

35:39

like oh I and I felt like a

35:42

bit of a Fuck how swearing you could

35:44

swear? Oh, okay. Yeah, Ryan swears all the

35:46

time. Okay, mostly when he fucks up ads.

35:48

Okay, you do that a lot? Yeah, so

35:51

do I Oh man. I mean we added

35:53

it. You don't hear that shit. Oh that's

35:55

good. But go ahead. You can make this

35:57

look good and interesting. Oh yeah. Cut out

36:00

the SPF thing. Oh yeah. So she's you

36:02

know like I'm like oh hi and the

36:04

point is is she was looking at me

36:06

like I was this guy floating around in

36:08

the sun reading all day. And not just

36:11

that, but I had to get up because

36:13

I felt rude that I wasn't, because this

36:15

was during the darker days I was having,

36:17

but then I felt very rude, so I

36:20

ended up getting up out of the pool

36:22

to say, I'm so sorry, I should have

36:24

like immediately jumped up to say nice to

36:26

meet you instead of fucking floating around with

36:29

my book in my lap. But I really

36:31

immersed. I was immersed, but I had to

36:33

say to her I was like, but you

36:35

know, this is passing time in a mentally

36:38

healthy way way for me. I'd rather be

36:40

acting. And that's sort of my point with

36:42

it all. That's amazing. I would rather be

36:44

acting. That makes sense. But I don't have

36:47

those opportunities. I just don't. Yeah, no, to

36:49

each his own. And I used, I mean,

36:51

look, who knows? We've talked about that before,

36:53

like in other, you know, where I talk

36:55

about, you know, I had a passion, I

36:58

liked acting, you know, and it's not that

37:00

I don't want to do it anymore, but

37:02

like other things, and I don't mind. Like

37:04

I don't, if I'm not working, I don't

37:07

go crazy. As long as I got other

37:09

things to do. Right. But I've really learned

37:11

to be alone. I've learned to be productive.

37:13

I've learned, like if you've got nothing to

37:16

do, you've got to find something to do.

37:18

I always find something to do. But let

37:20

me ask you this, I mean, a little

37:22

bad segue. But when you got, because you

37:25

didn't come into Walking Dead till season eight.

37:28

You don't even know the fact check

37:30

did you know it would change your

37:32

life like it did? Were you assuming

37:35

hey, this is a huge show and

37:37

this is just gonna No, no, and

37:39

I don't know if it I mean

37:42

has it changed my life has it

37:44

I mean I don't know what that

37:46

means I mean, I don't know what

37:48

that means. I mean, the audience is

37:51

so huge. There's a notoriety right. So

37:53

I mean do people right like when

37:55

I have my mustache which I just

37:58

shaved yesterday that's an automatic like or

38:00

depends how I look. recognizable factor. But

38:02

certainly, you know, that and GTA, like

38:05

throughout the world, throughout the world, the

38:07

biggest game, the biggest show, and at

38:09

the same time, and West world, I

38:12

was on West world, during the same,

38:14

and West world, during the same, and

38:16

on the same night, West world and

38:18

Walking Dead, we're on with like 100th

38:21

episode or whatever, and GTA was like

38:23

the biggest thing of all time, and

38:25

it. didn't really change anything. What do

38:28

you mean it didn't change anything for

38:30

you? For me. I mean it didn't

38:32

change the way I drank my coffee

38:35

in the morning or it took a

38:37

piss. But did it make you proud?

38:39

Did it make you feel more secure

38:41

with baby finances? Finances? No. Because you

38:44

know finances are not what people think.

38:46

Just because you're on a hit show

38:48

that it equals your pockets. You're not

38:51

making Chandler Riggs money. Or whatever. I

38:53

know what you're saying. What a reference.

38:55

Is that his name? Chandler? Huh? What

38:58

you mean? Chandler from walking dead? Yeah.

39:00

The kid. Yeah. Or the nice name?

39:02

Yeah. It's the only name I can

39:05

come up with. That was good. I

39:07

was like it was quite a random

39:09

thing. I was thinking more like Norman

39:11

Reedus money. You know, that's crazy. Or

39:14

JDM money or something like that. Yeah.

39:16

So those, and as we know, right,

39:18

you aren't, you aren't, you're season eight

39:21

coming in, you're gonna get what you're

39:23

gonna get to be on this show

39:25

and we're not negotiating with you. Yes,

39:28

and a lot of people would take

39:30

a lot of cuts off what they

39:32

normally would get. Was it hard work?

39:34

No, no, I had fun. I loved

39:37

Atlanta. I had such a great time.

39:39

I mean, it was, you're playing, right,

39:41

you get to to play. And I

39:44

mean, it's, it's sort of what I

39:46

was, it's sort of what I was,

39:48

My memories are always of the people.

39:51

Today's show is sponsored by strawberry dot

39:53

me. Look, this is important, Ryan. You've

39:55

worked hard to get where you are.

39:58

But what's... What's next? Are you aiming

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40:02

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can't really explain this other than career

40:37

coaching is vital to getting you to

40:39

the next step. I learn from a

40:41

career coach to have a whiteboard and

40:44

on that whiteboard I write a list

40:46

of my things I want to do

40:48

for the week just a list of

40:51

all the things I want to do

40:53

and it might seem overwhelming but he's

40:55

like no. Just pick three for the

40:57

week. You have to finish those three

41:00

and so in bit by bit you

41:02

start breaking down all these things that

41:04

get cluttered in your mind and in

41:07

real life and You know when I

41:09

have a list of health things I

41:11

want to do. Okay. I'm gonna work

41:14

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41:16

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41:18

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41:41

Welcome to Auto Zone. What are you

41:44

working on today? My car is making

41:46

this noise. Sometimes it's like... And sometimes

41:48

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Not with Fix Finder. Free at every

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Auto Zone. Restrictions apply. What do you

42:11

think of when you think of the

42:14

people? Who is it that comes to

42:16

mind first? I mean Austin and I

42:18

are, you know, Austin Amelia. we just

42:20

had because we'd also read plays so

42:23

we were always reading plays or we'd

42:25

go run lines in the cemetery and

42:27

you know we were both really oh

42:30

my god yeah we had so much

42:32

how cool is that yeah and we

42:34

just hung out all the time and

42:37

we'd be like on set you know

42:39

and we're just You know, I thought,

42:41

oh my God, those sets, you know,

42:43

we'd be shooting all night and just,

42:46

you know, everyone was smoking and you're

42:48

just like, how many packs can I

42:50

go through? Yeah. And, but we, just

42:53

the memories of like, we're shooting outside,

42:55

and these are the things I remember,

42:57

not the scenes, is, you know, we're

43:00

sitting way back, it was the, whatever

43:02

the big houses, is that Alexandria? Is

43:04

that Alexandria? Yeah. I think so. Yes,

43:07

yes, I think you're right. It's a

43:09

big house. If we're wrong, sorry, but

43:11

yes, I think it is. It's a

43:13

big house and there was stuff over

43:16

and it was in the middle of

43:18

the night and so Austin and I

43:20

were in the back of the house,

43:23

they were filming in the front and

43:25

at one point it came like we

43:27

were two little school boys and they

43:30

were like, we're two little school boys,

43:32

but that was us. We're just two

43:34

boys in the back like. You'd like

43:37

my fart book. I just came out

43:39

with a fart book. I just came

43:41

out with a fart book. Did you?

43:43

See that when I got there? The

43:46

talented farter. No way. Yeah, dude. And

43:48

I said I wasn't, Sarah's already like,

43:50

oh boy. You write poetry, I write

43:53

farts. She's gonna skip over this, but

43:55

I said, because she's always. like, don't

43:57

tell the story about this, that, all

44:00

my classic podcast stories that have gone

44:02

on to become quite known, which people

44:04

don't enjoy. But this one is a

44:06

great segue into farting. So I know

44:09

Sarah's gonna be like, uh-oh, here it

44:11

comes. So when she's listening to this,

44:13

she's about to be like, don't say

44:16

this. But I have to, because it

44:18

was so funny and cute, started the

44:20

day off with a smile and a

44:23

laugh, and it has to do with

44:25

farts. So I tend to fart. You're

44:27

looking at the talented farder. And I'm

44:30

dying to see this talented farder. It's

44:32

great. I really love the, I'm so

44:34

proud of it. And a lot of

44:36

my celebrity friends are putting it out

44:39

there and they're on. Can I look,

44:41

can I, I'll look at it after?

44:43

Of course. And it seems, is that

44:46

a, it's a sound thing. It's all

44:48

my farts. That's awesome. Yeah, they're all

44:50

real farts. Because when I first. The

44:53

thing on I will say on Instagram

44:55

when I'm usually when I'm spinning on

44:57

the peloton is when I like go

44:59

through the like just flip through the

45:02

gram and I get bored after a

45:04

few I mean I don't spend a

45:06

lot of time on it it's just

45:09

again not my thing right but the

45:11

fart guys you know the ones that

45:13

like that walk in the home depot

45:16

and they're looking at something kills me

45:18

I laugh how about the guy with

45:20

the beard he just looks at you

45:23

and just farts for 13 seconds are

45:25

they machines are they machines though I

45:27

you know the They're not machines. No,

45:29

this guy you could tell has a

45:32

horrible diet and farts like no one's

45:34

ever heard. Yeah, farts are funny. They

45:36

are, but I don't hear the story.

45:39

Go ahead. Okay, so this morning and

45:41

I do, generally, Sarah has to wake

45:43

up to a trumpet, greeting the day.

45:46

Musical, like, and sometimes, and I've had

45:48

in the middle of the night, sometimes

45:50

I awake chuckling to my own nonsense.

45:53

I've done that. Like I love you

45:55

already this this makes me like you

45:57

so much more it's still and so

45:59

she's like that's disgusting and I'm like

46:02

but you're smiling yeah why would I

46:04

take away your joy yeah so this

46:06

morning was a sort of a three-leveled

46:09

call-out to the day to begin five-thirty

46:11

in the morning and it was a

46:13

just a very like mr. like it

46:16

was she had the laugh it was

46:18

epic no this is the best reaction

46:20

ever Okay, because there's always different reactions

46:22

like some such, like this wakes her

46:25

up. Yeah, so it was, who, whoa,

46:27

that was Sarah's, whoa, she's, whoa, she's,

46:29

she's, she's, she, it made me laugh

46:32

too. Oh my God. Now I said

46:34

her, whoa, was like, like, whoa, like,

46:36

nice car, whoa, but she's like, she's,

46:39

she. because I was just talking about

46:41

this before I came here and she's

46:43

like no no no it wasn't a

46:46

I'm impressed I think it was like

46:48

a whoa I can't believe that this

46:50

is what's next to me oh my

46:52

god so you're having fun on the

46:55

set wherever you go you was it

46:57

you know I always thought that walking

46:59

dead would be clicky like there's certain

47:02

people the Doesn't every set right? Well,

47:04

there's some people that just were the

47:06

Intangibles or the the folks that just

47:09

didn't really talk to everybody else and

47:11

just went into their trailers and did

47:13

their own thing Last I mean I

47:15

have to say like the beautiful thing

47:18

with Walking Dead is is Andrew Lincoln

47:20

being number one He seems like such

47:22

a great guy met him once. What

47:25

a nice guy. That's what a number

47:27

one should be. He was when I

47:29

when I first came to the show

47:32

so I was in the trailer because

47:34

we were still waiting for the official

47:36

casting of Negan. So I had a

47:39

certain look, so we had to sort

47:41

of wait and see who was going

47:43

to be. So it was just Andrew

47:45

and I in the trailer waiting for

47:48

Jeffrey to call to figure out who

47:50

had to look. But we just had

47:52

a lovely chat. Like I was asking

47:55

him, I said, so what point in

47:57

the apocalypse are we here? Because again,

47:59

I don't follow the show, I didn't read

48:02

the graphic novels. So I was like,

48:04

just an idea, like, are we almost,

48:06

like, are we all dead or are

48:08

we? He was like, I don't know.

48:10

So we had this wonderful conversation, but

48:12

he made everyone feel comfortable. And that's

48:14

something. An extra, the zombies, is everyone

48:17

need water, is everyone okay? Everyone

48:19

felt great. And that's a huge

48:21

thing to do. That's also a

48:23

relief for someone who comes in

48:25

to this established well-oiled machine and

48:27

comes in and the leader is

48:30

so gracious. Simple stupid.

48:32

It's kind of like being kind. You'd

48:34

think it would be a given, but it's

48:36

not. I mean, you know, you go back

48:39

to the days... New York days, right? Living

48:41

there for 20 years. And that, there's still,

48:43

as we know, a hierarchy, right? I mean,

48:45

there's still the triple banger and the person's

48:47

changing in the toilets. Yeah. And the wages

48:50

are reflective and such. Yeah. But you know,

48:52

when you first do the New York days

48:54

and you do all the guest stars, you

48:56

know, you do the lawn order, you do

48:59

your third watch, you do your soap opera,

49:01

you do all this. Man. I kind of

49:03

stopped acting for six acting for

49:05

six years. And that's when I

49:07

went and built this country house. I

49:09

was like, I don't want a part of

49:11

this. I thought it was horrible. I hated

49:13

the hierarchy of it. I hated being feeling

49:16

lower than others. Excluded. Yeah, and

49:18

feeling like, why do you think you're

49:20

such fucking hot shit? You just got a

49:22

break. If anything, you should be super kind

49:25

to me. And you have the power to

49:27

change people's lives or make people's lives better

49:29

by just being a human being. By

49:31

being fucking cool. And that's sort of

49:33

what... Don't ever hit my superman

49:35

poster again. You're luckiest plastic.

49:38

Oh my god that Superman trailer

49:40

that came out the documentary

49:42

do you watch it? I heard it's great

49:44

I gotta write that down crying my

49:46

eyes out just watching the fucking trailer

49:48

really I can't imagine this is gonna

49:51

be so beautiful so beautiful well if

49:53

you had to guess not guess but

49:55

if you had to think of one

49:58

scene one moment on that show You're

50:00

like, that was my favorite

50:02

moment, acting wise. Like this

50:04

was my favorite moment of my

50:07

character. Yeah. I feel with acting

50:09

like in life, this sort of

50:11

term of forced Buddhism I came up

50:14

with, whether you, whether I like it

50:16

or not, I try to exist in

50:18

the moment. So it's forced.

50:20

And that's sometimes for me

50:22

as acting, this forced moment

50:24

where I'm trying to just

50:26

be present. for a multitude

50:29

of reasons. So then when

50:31

it goes, I forget about

50:33

it, so that it's in

50:35

the past, so I don't have

50:37

to remember. Does that make sense?

50:40

It does? So it's why I

50:42

don't always remember sort of scenes.

50:44

I'm trying to think of... I

50:47

mean, the scenes where you were

50:49

about to get killed, or he's...

50:51

being so present being so in

50:54

the moment that I was like

50:56

ah I don't even know how

50:58

that felt good because it felt

51:00

so cathartic yeah I mean I

51:02

think so I mean when when Jeffrey and

51:04

I when we did this sort of that

51:07

big fight my death that was that

51:09

was well because it was also the

51:11

last day of work for me on

51:13

the show you're gonna die they told

51:15

you yeah yeah so that was

51:17

emotional just for more like I'm

51:19

leaving my friends did you cry cry

51:21

oh yeah for sure You did, you

51:24

got really emotional. Yeah. At the very

51:26

end or before you were done filming?

51:28

Afterwards. Afterwards. Because you know, I

51:30

didn't want to be crying while

51:32

I'm fighting. Yeah. Although it'd be

51:34

interesting. I'd kind of almost, that

51:36

would have been cool. That would

51:38

have been really cool. Great choice.

51:40

Yeah. He was laughing the whole

51:42

time. And that was actually crying.

51:44

It was so funny. We were

51:47

so funny. We were both. I

51:49

mean, we wanted to make it

51:51

super dirty. I could fucking

51:54

kill you. I'm

51:57

just bigger, angrier.

52:00

So we were like, let's make it dirty,

52:02

or which the network wouldn't allow us

52:04

to do it, which is so ironic,

52:06

as dirty as we wanted it to.

52:08

But it still worked out because we

52:10

have to pay, like you have to,

52:12

you have to believe that he could

52:14

kill me, right? At the end, so

52:17

get it dirty. But anyways, it's funny,

52:19

after we did all that, and you

52:21

know, like I'm not a, let me

52:23

do my own stunts guy. I'm like,

52:25

yeah, please, as long as long as

52:27

we can suspend disbelief, disbelief, disbelief, and

52:29

people, and people, and people believe, and

52:31

people believe, and people believe, and people

52:33

believe it's me, and people believe it's

52:36

me, and people believe it's me, and

52:38

people believe it's me, because I'll hurt

52:40

myself. I'm just not. I learned to

52:42

let people do it and that's why

52:44

I probably had so many surgeries because

52:46

I used to do a lot of

52:48

it on my own. No, no, no,

52:50

I want to do this. I want

52:52

to do this. And then I go

52:55

nope, you do it. In fact, Michael,

52:57

all you have to do is lie

52:59

down. Yeah, somebody else can do that.

53:01

Yeah, somebody else can do that. Yeah,

53:03

somebody else can do that. Yeah, somebody

53:05

else can do that. Yeah, somebody else.

53:07

Yeah, somebody else, somebody else. Yeah, somebody

53:09

else. Yeah, somebody else, somebody else. Yeah,

53:12

somebody else. Yeah, somebody else, somebody else.

53:14

Yeah, somebody else, somebody else. Yeah, somebody

53:16

else, somebody else, somebody else. Yeah, somebody

53:18

else, somebody else, somebody else, somebody else,

53:20

somebody else, somebody else. Yeah, somebody else,

53:22

somebody else, somebody else. Yeah, somebody else,

53:24

somebody else, somebody else, somebody else, somebody

53:26

else, somebody else It's fun. Other movies

53:28

too, like you know, just other movies

53:31

and things that I've done. I always

53:33

wanted to be, and I would do

53:35

a lot of Pratt Falls. comitically like

53:37

in some funny stuff and that took

53:39

its toll. I mean falling hard and

53:41

I can do it. Like John Ritter

53:43

falls? Oh I can do it. I

53:45

can fall like nobody. I mean like

53:47

obviously he's amazing. I'm just saying I

53:50

feel when I fall you believe I

53:52

felt I could bump into something. Oh

53:54

my god are you okay? I still

53:56

do it with the people walking in

53:58

a door into a grocery store or

54:00

anything. Like oh my god are you

54:02

okay? I'm like yeah no I'm fine.

54:04

I'm like no I'm fine. Those are

54:07

funny. Oh, I love them. Falls and

54:09

Farts. That might be your next book.

54:11

Falls and Farts. It's a graphic novel.

54:13

Yeah, you can have your Farts and

54:15

then your Falls. Yeah. So you can

54:17

have the, the, the, the best of

54:19

both worlds on that one. So you

54:21

did the scene and you were very

54:23

happy about it. And then, but the

54:26

funniest after was because again, like even

54:28

just fighting, like we choreographed, I remember

54:30

when they first choreographed that scene and

54:32

we came in, and you know. stunt

54:34

guys, right? They're always like on the

54:36

script that says, you know, Michael throws

54:38

a right punch. Stephen ducks swings a

54:40

left. That's it for the fight. They

54:42

make so much more. And then this

54:45

stunt guys are like, okay. Well that

54:47

first, right, what you're gonna do is

54:49

you're gonna bounce off the wall, you're

54:51

gonna do a back flip, right? And

54:53

then you're gonna do a kick upside

54:55

the head, then you're gonna do a

54:57

dive roll, there's gonna be flames over

54:59

there, and you're gonna go through the

55:01

flames, and you're gonna pick up the

55:04

flame with your hand, you're gonna put

55:06

it in Michael's face, and he's gonna

55:08

start to burn, and he's gonna put

55:10

it in Michael's face, and he's gonna

55:12

start to start to burn, and he's

55:14

face, and he's gonna start in, and

55:16

he's gonna start in, and he's gonna

55:18

put it, and he's gonna put it,

55:21

and he's, and he's, and he's, and

55:23

he's, and he's, and he's, and he's,

55:25

and he's, and he's, and he's, and

55:27

he's, and he's, and he's, and he's,

55:29

and he's, and he's, and he's, and

55:31

he's, Okay, I'll try But inevitably you

55:33

hurt yourself because like I swing like

55:35

a like you know I can't fight

55:37

I've always wanted to like take boxing

55:40

or something like I did it's great.

55:42

It's great. It's great to take boxing.

55:44

Yeah Yeah, and I wanted to get

55:46

a punching bag in the backyard But

55:48

like I want to be a fighter

55:50

not a lover You know like that

55:52

can easily learn how to box it'd

55:54

be kind of cool to like yeah,

55:56

you could take I could I guarantee

55:59

if you took 10 boxing lessons You'd

56:01

be surprised and I still remember I

56:03

haven't done it in a while and

56:05

I could still I know how to

56:07

throw a punch I know how to

56:09

do a cross I know how to

56:11

do a hook I know how to

56:13

do all that shit Mike Tyson once

56:16

I was doing the show and he

56:18

was a guest star and I came

56:20

like oh my god Mike Tyson with

56:22

the fuck I started you know doing

56:24

these things and and just him you

56:26

know just in character I started making

56:28

up shit and he goes he goes

56:30

you box I go what he goes

56:32

I saw you throwing some punches earlier.

56:35

You box? I'm like, ah, a little

56:37

bit. He goes, yeah, I could tell

56:39

you know how to throw a punch.

56:41

And I was like, fuck, yeah. Mike

56:43

Tyson just said that. That's right. You

56:45

bet I do. So don't cross me,

56:47

buddy. Did you say that? Don't make

56:49

me holy feel your shit, man. Let's

56:51

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56:54

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Gambling problem, call 1.800-9 with it. The

57:57

title of the book, The Talented Farter.

57:59

This is a wonderful story about a

58:01

little boy whose only gift is only

58:03

real talent, his tooty, make his tooth

58:05

sound like everything you hear in everyday

58:08

life. So, little Michael loved Halloween, but

58:10

nothing frightened his friends more than when

58:12

Michael would stink up a good scare.

58:14

You hear that? Oh, I heard it.

58:16

It is a lovely story and it's

58:18

beautifully illustrated by my friend Heath and

58:20

Simon Shuster is putting it out. It's

58:22

going to be in tons of bookstores

58:24

and available on Amazon. I'm so proud

58:27

of it. I was in Louisville this

58:29

past week and doing a comic line.

58:31

You mean Louisville? Had I said it?

58:33

No, it's Louisville. I say Louisville. Louisville.

58:35

Some people say Louisville. Louisville. What is

58:37

it real? I say Louisville. Louisville. Like

58:39

the Slugger. Yeah, Louisville Slugger. Isn't that

58:41

Louisville? No, I'm kidding. Go ahead. But

58:44

they had the, I saw the big

58:46

bat too. It was funny when I

58:48

approached it. They're like, you know, yeah,

58:50

bats and bourbon. I was like, yeah,

58:52

two things I couldn't give less shits

58:54

about. I'm gonna be fine here. But

58:56

I had a bit of a tum-tum-ake,

58:58

so I sat at night, I was

59:00

just flipping the hotels when I only

59:03

watched TV, so I was flipping through

59:05

channels. Anyways, I saw there was, and

59:07

I'm not, I don't watch fights, boxing,

59:09

but, you know, I'm flipping through channels,

59:11

and it was a George Foreman, George

59:13

Foreman, a Vanderander Hollifender Hololfo, Or was

59:15

just at four, he was 45 fighting

59:17

Hollifield who was the champion. Right. Point

59:19

being, and I didn't see, I've never

59:22

seen this, but I do want to

59:24

remember this for the next fight. I

59:26

will do, which I know I've said

59:28

I don't do stunts, but I'm just

59:30

talking about, you know, when you're doing

59:32

a little fight scene, not a big

59:34

stunt. Is he does this. That's his

59:36

defense. Is that normal? Are you a

59:39

big boxer? No, I mean, normally they're

59:41

correct. You're right. They don't do this.

59:43

He was literally just YouTube a bit

59:45

of the foreman. Wow. And I thought

59:47

how fucking cool is that for a

59:49

bit in a film? Right? Instead of

59:51

like when you're getting, oh next time

59:53

I have an opportunity for sure I'm

59:55

in a stand like this. And it

59:58

was quite brilliant because try to hit

1:00:00

my face like that protects that. What

1:00:02

if you do this? Protecting your face.

1:00:04

Here's your mask. Or just like that.

1:00:06

Doesn't that make more sense? Yeah, like

1:00:08

this did make sense because this. Yeah,

1:00:10

well, you're supposed to keep them up.

1:00:12

Just keep your hands up. Keep your

1:00:14

hands up. Keep your hands up. Always.

1:00:17

They always tell you that. Keep your

1:00:19

hands up. Keep your hands up. Yeah,

1:00:21

put them down for a second. You're

1:00:23

getting jacked. But how about the side?

1:00:25

Yeah, but watch this. When they go,

1:00:27

you know, you do this. Okay, now

1:00:29

do this. That seems, right? Yeah, but

1:00:31

here's the- Try to hit me. Try

1:00:33

to hit me in my face. Look,

1:00:36

I'm not questioning. Try to hit me.

1:00:38

I'm not questioning what George Foreman's doing.

1:00:40

But hey, let me ask you this.

1:00:42

Well, this stuff. Is motion cap difficult?

1:00:44

Like when you did, uh, I mean,

1:00:46

Grand Theft Aud, it was, it's acting.

1:00:48

Because you got like nominated for awards

1:00:50

and like, you know, you're acting. Yes.

1:00:53

And you don't like, you don't lessen

1:00:55

the intensity or whatever, because it's a

1:00:57

video game. Again, the words of the

1:00:59

words and acting is acting, right? So

1:01:01

the only, the technique is what differs.

1:01:03

Now, with motion capture, you know, you've

1:01:05

done motion capture? Never. No? No. I'm

1:01:07

surprised. Would I like it? I don't

1:01:09

know. I mean, I've just done it

1:01:12

the once and I enjoyed it. It

1:01:14

was... such a hoot to play. So

1:01:16

it's like you're, you know, the spandex

1:01:18

with the balls. And then the helmet

1:01:20

with a light in the camera in

1:01:22

your face. So it takes a bit

1:01:24

of getting used to because obviously you

1:01:26

can't, first of all, you can't get

1:01:28

up into someone's face. You can't just

1:01:31

fall over because of the balls that's

1:01:33

gonna hurt. You can't just grab another

1:01:35

arm or a person because you have

1:01:37

to not cover. the balls that the

1:01:39

motion capture cameras are covering. So there's

1:01:41

sort of a certain technique, but that's

1:01:43

like anything like, you know, you quickly

1:01:45

adapt and learn how you can, the

1:01:47

sandbox that you have to play in.

1:01:50

And once you do that, it's so

1:01:52

liberating and it's such, you know, I

1:01:54

don't know, because again, I don't look

1:01:56

at other video games. So like I

1:01:58

know, Troy Baker. who I've met a

1:02:00

few times and is really lovely, but

1:02:02

I don't know his work per se,

1:02:04

but he is. I think one of

1:02:07

the, right, the top of the top

1:02:09

in the motion capture world. And I

1:02:11

think it is just a, it's not

1:02:13

even a technique thing, you just have

1:02:15

to sort of do things a little

1:02:17

different. Well, I have to be aware

1:02:19

of things. I have to be aware

1:02:21

of things. I hear that they like,

1:02:23

they like things in one take, they

1:02:26

don't want you to mess up. Like

1:02:28

you have to go from here to

1:02:30

here and do all this dialogue and

1:02:32

like, is that true, we could read.

1:02:34

off it. But no, it's just like

1:02:36

filming. You come in, you know, you

1:02:38

memorize. Now you can just keep going

1:02:40

because obviously there's not really a cut,

1:02:42

right? You can just, the cameras are

1:02:45

all around, there's hundreds of cameras, so

1:02:47

you can just keep going. How many

1:02:49

pages of dialogue would you do in

1:02:51

a day? It depends on the day,

1:02:53

depends if there was like actiony stuff

1:02:55

you had to do. But it took

1:02:57

a while, it took weeks, three years

1:02:59

to do it. It was supposed to

1:03:02

be a year. It was supposed to

1:03:04

be a year. So all of a

1:03:06

sudden, and seasonal though, so we would

1:03:08

do, let's say, 10 days, January, 10

1:03:10

days in spring, 10 days in summer,

1:03:12

fall, so it was broken up like

1:03:14

that because they had to write it,

1:03:16

they had to animate, they had to

1:03:18

catch up on it all. So then

1:03:21

the after a year, it's like, oh

1:03:23

yeah, we're going into the second year.

1:03:25

And then three years. He's like, wow.

1:03:27

So it took a lot, and I

1:03:29

know Ned. has, he kept track of

1:03:31

like the script by the end of

1:03:33

it was, you know, I forget thousands

1:03:35

of pages and stuff like that. How

1:03:37

did you, uh, how did you like

1:03:40

better call Saul? Amazing. Was it? John,

1:03:42

I mean, and talk about again, what

1:03:44

you can do as an actor, right?

1:03:46

There's Jonathan Banks, legend, right? And he

1:03:48

stepped into the trailer at 5.30 in

1:03:50

the morning. You know, everyone's got the

1:03:52

coffee and just getting going. Hey, good

1:03:54

morning, everyone, good morning. John is there

1:03:56

going, good morning. And I said, you

1:03:59

know, hi, I'm Stephen, I'm coming in.

1:04:01

you know, doing the subject. It's like

1:04:03

fantastic. I mean, do you want to

1:04:05

run some lines while we're sitting

1:04:07

here? Fuck yeah. Thank you. It'd be

1:04:09

great. I'd love to. That's a

1:04:11

pro. Right. That's, you think he

1:04:13

wouldn't do that. He's older. He

1:04:16

doesn't want, and he just says,

1:04:18

let's run lines. Yeah. And those

1:04:20

are the things that like you have

1:04:22

to. Again with all these like indie films.

1:04:25

I've been doing and I'm sort of now

1:04:27

the elder statesmen on a lot of these

1:04:29

I'm older than you so don't make yourself

1:04:31

sound too old. Well, no, what are you

1:04:33

50? Yeah, yeah, I'm 52 But you know

1:04:35

what I'm saying like with if you're working

1:04:37

with 20 year olds Yeah, you're the

1:04:39

elder statesmen true and it's it's such a

1:04:41

beautiful opportunity to pass these things forward which

1:04:44

is what I do and I take it

1:04:46

seriously and I love being in that position

1:04:48

to be a leader on a set and

1:04:50

to make people feel good and to be

1:04:52

like hey do you want to run lines

1:04:55

before you know do you want it to

1:04:57

anyone to anyone on it even if I'm

1:04:59

not in a scene with them hey I'm

1:05:01

happy to run lines if you want to

1:05:04

practice you know getting this stuff out or

1:05:06

yeah or you know I did one film

1:05:08

where there's huge ladder Sort of

1:05:10

like that scene in, was it in

1:05:12

glorious bastard? She goes up to change

1:05:15

the letters on the Marquis? I

1:05:17

don't remember. You're the movie guy. Do

1:05:19

you remember? Someone had to

1:05:21

climb up ladder. Oh yeah, I do

1:05:23

remember. She has the ladder? Yeah. Yeah.

1:05:26

So that, so this girl in this

1:05:28

movie had to do it. She was

1:05:30

a young girl and as we, and

1:05:32

it was gonna be this amazing opening

1:05:34

one, one shot, right? like this and

1:05:36

we false people and then we see

1:05:38

her climb up the ladder and then

1:05:40

this and then we see me at

1:05:43

the front and we go into the

1:05:45

theater and we're doing all of this

1:05:47

ambitious very like beautiful awesome so then

1:05:49

she was standing next to me and

1:05:51

as they're going over safety and

1:05:53

locked in the seats and okay

1:05:55

and then you know if we're gonna

1:05:57

name Abigail it's gonna climb up the

1:06:00

This lat, and I'm talking maybe 30

1:06:02

feet lat, it was a tall, tall

1:06:04

Marquis fucking ladder. And I'm looking at

1:06:06

it, I'm getting like clammy hands and,

1:06:08

and I kind of, I'm watching her,

1:06:11

just like I'm watching you right now.

1:06:13

And I'm just looking over and I

1:06:15

could just kind of see her. She's

1:06:17

nervous. Yeah, and so as there, I'm

1:06:19

like, do you, did you know your.

1:06:22

doing this? She's like, no, they just

1:06:24

asked if I'm okay with it. And

1:06:26

I was like, so are you? She's

1:06:28

like, no, not, not, not really. And

1:06:31

I was like, okay, do you trust

1:06:33

me to protect you? And this, like,

1:06:35

I'm not going to throw into the

1:06:37

bus, but are you cool if I

1:06:39

say something? But I won't be using

1:06:42

you. I just want to be clear

1:06:44

with that. She's like, that'd be really

1:06:46

nice. Yeah, okay. So then I kind

1:06:48

of moved. Spots as the meeting is

1:06:50

still because obviously I'm paying attention to

1:06:53

the safety meeting And so I'm now

1:06:55

over there and then when they okay

1:06:57

is everyone I was like Question the

1:06:59

back row, you know and because I'm

1:07:02

the elder statesman and yes, even I

1:07:04

was like Who's climbing up that ladder?

1:07:06

like because we're doing this one take

1:07:08

and over there there's no pads here,

1:07:10

but it's going to be impossible to

1:07:13

put a pad down if it's one

1:07:15

tracking shock as you're going to see

1:07:17

the pets who's climbing up that and

1:07:19

like what's going on with that just

1:07:21

a very broad kind of like just

1:07:24

wondering yeah because that's and I think

1:07:26

I said like it's not me going

1:07:28

up is it because I'm scared to

1:07:30

high saved her and I'm not going

1:07:33

to do that and they were like

1:07:35

oh no it's uh you know Abigail

1:07:37

is and I was like is she

1:07:39

okay doing that are you caught and

1:07:41

I just sort of is it and

1:07:44

not in like a you know can

1:07:46

you know can you can you do

1:07:48

that but I just sort of made

1:07:50

a And then it changed and then

1:07:52

they still did it but they you

1:07:55

know were able to cheat it so

1:07:57

she felt comfortable and safe and you

1:07:59

can quickly see how shit goes wrong

1:08:01

on sets with you know even pre-

1:08:04

to take care of not just yourself

1:08:06

but the people around you. Everyone. And

1:08:08

that's I think like what you know

1:08:10

Andrew Lincoln did. Yeah. Jonathan Bank saying

1:08:12

want to run lines. Just do stuff

1:08:15

that's like simple and kind that makes

1:08:17

other people feel safe and good because

1:08:19

when you have that environment, ideally the

1:08:21

work's going to be better because you

1:08:23

do feel safe. 100% This is called

1:08:26

shit talking with Stephen Aug. This is

1:08:28

Rapid Fire. My top tier patrons ask

1:08:30

these questions. patriot.com/inside of you. I love

1:08:32

you. Thank you for sporting the show.

1:08:35

Rapid Fire. Ready for this? So that

1:08:37

means, are you going to ask them

1:08:39

rapidly or I have to answer rapidly?

1:08:41

You have to answer rapidly. Taylor R.

1:08:43

Are you going to play GTA-6 when

1:08:46

it comes out? No. Raj, tell me

1:08:48

a movie or TV show that defines

1:08:50

your adolescence. Happy days. Jessica B. Do

1:08:52

you ever compare yourself to someone and

1:08:54

find that it gives you the push

1:08:57

to achieve more or you don't compare

1:08:59

because it discourages you more than anything

1:09:01

else? Don't compare. You really don't compare.

1:09:03

Well, it's supposed to be rapid, so

1:09:06

I was starting to. Give me 15

1:09:08

seconds. I do look up at artists,

1:09:10

you know, like an anoni, even. you

1:09:12

know previously Anthony and Johnson's anoni I

1:09:14

I aspire to a level of artistry

1:09:17

that I don't feel I've come anywhere

1:09:19

close to so yes there are people

1:09:21

but I don't compare myself in the

1:09:23

way that's like oh I wish I

1:09:26

could be anonrier I wish I could

1:09:28

write like or I wish I could

1:09:30

act like it's more just like a

1:09:32

level of artistry so I'm doing what

1:09:34

I do there's a comparison only in

1:09:37

that man I admire Like Bowie, right?

1:09:39

Walking in and seeing Bowie. I don't,

1:09:41

it's not like I want to sing

1:09:43

like him or act like him. His

1:09:45

artistry and what he brought to the

1:09:48

world is what I would like to

1:09:50

be. So do I compare myself daily

1:09:52

to Bowie? Of course not. But do

1:09:54

I strive to have a level of

1:09:57

artistry like a man like that? Fuck

1:09:59

yes. I love it. Cryptin Knight. You

1:10:01

played some pretty dark characters. What did

1:10:03

you draw? on to become who you

1:10:05

needed to be in the moment. The

1:10:08

words, it always comes back to the

1:10:10

words, and generally when it comes to

1:10:12

these darker characters or violent characters, I

1:10:14

listen to very sad music, not your,

1:10:16

like, you know, an athlete might amp

1:10:19

yourself listening to whatever, rage against the

1:10:21

machine or some fucking ass. Yeah. I

1:10:23

have always done the opposite. Whenever I've

1:10:25

done these scenes, I listen to music

1:10:28

that absolutely generally makes me cry. And

1:10:30

through that, I find if you rip

1:10:32

yourself open and you're completely vulnerable in

1:10:34

a vulnerable state, you can go anywhere.

1:10:36

You can make love as intensely as

1:10:39

you can rip off the fucking skin

1:10:41

off a human being because you're so

1:10:43

open. to anything and your senses. If

1:10:45

you have malleable, yeah, if you have

1:10:47

no skin, you're just everything affects you.

1:10:50

So if it's love, it's love, if

1:10:52

it's hate, it's hate. So if any

1:10:54

prep, aside from the words being number

1:10:56

one, it's to try to make myself

1:10:59

as comfortable, the most comfortably vulnerable, raw

1:11:01

state. So every little bit of salt

1:11:03

and vinegar hurts. Interesting question, Lee G.

1:11:05

Steve, my guy. My hairline has been...

1:11:07

Steve, my guy. Should we do a

1:11:10

voice for this guy? Because if you're

1:11:12

starting to Steve, my guy. Steve, my

1:11:14

guy. My hairline's been receding up my

1:11:16

head for the past decade now. What

1:11:18

gives you the confidence to keep playing

1:11:21

bad ass rolls without a hat or

1:11:23

a wig? You and Michael Kelly, my

1:11:25

two heroes. Oh. I love your hair.

1:11:27

I love how you... It's just, you

1:11:30

kind of remind me of a young...

1:11:32

Jimmy Buffett like a Jimmy Buffett like

1:11:34

a hot Jimmy Buffett Wow with a

1:11:36

tan I've never had a smart with

1:11:38

a good smile good sense of humor

1:11:41

Jimmy Buffett well that feel where you're

1:11:43

just like just oh cash cash cash

1:11:45

Did it ever work? Did you ever

1:11:47

worry about oh my god my hair

1:11:49

or I'm gonna shave it or I'm

1:11:52

gonna? Oh, I'm sure at some point

1:11:54

I I shaved my head when I

1:11:56

lived in New York for 20 years

1:11:58

Shaved, no one knew I had hair.

1:12:01

I'd shaved my head because I was,

1:12:03

I was like receding and I was

1:12:05

like, oh God. And this was before

1:12:07

the, even before the Bruce Willis shaved

1:12:09

his head days, right? So, of course

1:12:12

when you're younger, you're like, yeah. But

1:12:14

then I was like, fuck, like I

1:12:16

just don't get, like, even on the

1:12:18

Walking Dead, I always called it my

1:12:20

murkine, I always wanted to spray it.

1:12:23

Like spray it black to fill it

1:12:25

in and I was like I don't

1:12:27

need it like it doesn't matter if

1:12:29

if someone out there thinks it's important

1:12:32

I don't understand what difference it makes

1:12:34

like it is weird because I just

1:12:36

have this little bit So like essentially

1:12:38

my hair lines here, it's you and

1:12:40

who fucking cares? It's funny talking about

1:12:43

walking dead like Ross Who has beautiful

1:12:45

curly hair because I'm always like Ross

1:12:47

Mark on yeah, I was like Ross

1:12:49

beautiful look at I just want to

1:12:51

get my fingers on and he's just

1:12:54

like I love your hair I want

1:12:56

your hair so I think we just

1:12:58

want I think it's about owning it

1:13:00

and it's it's not like I walk

1:13:03

around with confidence going yeah you know

1:13:05

I mean like I said at the

1:13:07

opening I'm fucking depressed for like eight

1:13:09

days but not about your questioning my

1:13:11

existence but my hair I have to

1:13:14

say these days I'm like it's so

1:13:16

long and glorious I'll sometimes be like

1:13:18

Sarah come look at the reflection of

1:13:20

my hair in the pool Oh and

1:13:23

one more thing. Pull my finger too.

1:13:25

This has been an absolute treat. You're

1:13:27

such a character and you're so, what

1:13:29

you see is what you get. And

1:13:31

for people that assume you're this dark

1:13:34

brooding character, I think look, we all

1:13:36

have a little bit of that, of

1:13:38

different characters we play in us, like

1:13:40

whether it's small or whatever, we channel

1:13:42

from it, but you're just an open

1:13:45

book and you're so talented, but like

1:13:47

you, you, You figure it out. I

1:13:49

think what I learned from this, it's

1:13:51

inspirational, is that you do go through

1:13:54

dark times and It just comes to

1:13:56

show you that you're going to get

1:13:58

out of it. You're going to get

1:14:00

out of it and you're going to

1:14:02

work through things. And you have to

1:14:05

at least do something to get yourself

1:14:07

out of it. And you do those

1:14:09

things that you know, whether it's reading

1:14:11

a book on a float for 15

1:14:13

hours straight or doing yoga or going

1:14:16

on a hike or whatever it is,

1:14:18

you find ways to keep your sanity.

1:14:20

Yeah, I think you have to. And

1:14:22

again, I'm still a work in progress

1:14:25

because it doesn't always work to talk

1:14:27

to talk to. our partners, like you

1:14:29

sort of. What would they say? Because

1:14:31

it is going to be different, right?

1:14:33

The way it affects your partner, and

1:14:36

I know it affects my partner, profoundly,

1:14:38

my moods. I try and, you know,

1:14:40

I certainly am aware of like, don't

1:14:42

engage with me when I'm in this,

1:14:44

because of course she's a supportive partner

1:14:47

that wants to support and is there

1:14:49

for me and loves me, but I

1:14:51

sort of say, don't, because I will

1:14:53

just want to hurt you. Only in

1:14:56

the way that not hurt you, that

1:14:58

sounds horrible. There's a sound bite. It's

1:15:00

more if I'm in pain, I need

1:15:02

someone else to feel pain. Misery loves

1:15:04

company kind of thing. Yeah, so it's

1:15:07

like, no, just let me be. But

1:15:09

that's got to be tough for a

1:15:11

partner because I don't want you to

1:15:13

feel like this. Yeah, I hate that

1:15:15

you feel like shit. But then you

1:15:18

say. But this is just what happens

1:15:20

to me. This was just like, I'll

1:15:22

get out of it. And I know

1:15:24

that if you engage with me, and

1:15:27

by pain, I mean like, I'll want

1:15:29

to fight or just fucking, yeah, well,

1:15:31

like just to get someone else to

1:15:33

feel pain that I'm feeling. And so

1:15:35

that's, you know, one thing I've learned

1:15:38

and again, it's not always successful and,

1:15:40

you know, I feel like a, a,

1:15:42

a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:15:44

a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:15:46

a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:15:49

a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:15:51

a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:15:53

a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:15:55

a, a, a, a, But I try

1:15:58

to, and it's one thing to admit

1:16:00

it, because you know, a lot of

1:16:02

people are like, you're so open with

1:16:04

your emotions, and that's great, but I'd

1:16:06

also be a better person if I

1:16:09

changed it. Right. Right? I mean, that's

1:16:11

the. Talk about comparing yourself to people,

1:16:13

right? I always do that. I always

1:16:15

think, I wish I was as laid

1:16:17

back as them. I wish I could

1:16:20

handle things like them. I wish I

1:16:22

could handle stress like that person. I

1:16:24

wish I could see the brighter side.

1:16:26

I wish I wasn't so judgmental at

1:16:29

times. I wish I wasn't that. And

1:16:31

all you could do is really just

1:16:33

try not to be. You know, and

1:16:35

do your best and try to change

1:16:37

the way you're thinking and the way

1:16:40

you're acting and be aware of it.

1:16:42

So I have a thing where if

1:16:44

I say I hate something, I have

1:16:46

to immediately say three things I love.

1:16:49

So if I go, I hate Ryan's

1:16:51

socks. How's going to say that too,

1:16:53

actually? Yeah, I go. You know, I

1:16:55

like Ryan's beard. I like his smile.

1:16:57

I like his attitude. And then there

1:17:00

I am. I just changed it. Three

1:17:02

loves. That's so smart and it's something

1:17:04

it's something I would disagree with what

1:17:06

you said about him though, but What

1:17:08

we started with like feel versus understanding

1:17:11

When I'm in my thing I hate

1:17:13

that I can't feel grateful and that's

1:17:15

to be perfectly honest. Yeah, my partner.

1:17:17

She wakes up feeling grateful for what

1:17:20

we have for everything. She's just like,

1:17:22

I'm so grateful. And I, and I,

1:17:24

I once had a therapist say to

1:17:26

me, well, you're an actor, pretend. I

1:17:28

was like, I don't act to pretend

1:17:31

in my real life to be happy.

1:17:33

That's not what an actor does. That's

1:17:35

not the fucking job description or that's

1:17:37

not my interest. But it's, that's what

1:17:39

I hate is being able to, my

1:17:42

feelings overtake that. So it's sort of

1:17:44

like saying one bad and three good.

1:17:46

I couldn't when I was in just.

1:17:48

Hell dark days just feeling horrible and

1:17:51

hopeless. I couldn't feel love. I couldn't

1:17:53

feel grateful. I couldn't feel and I

1:17:55

know I'm great like I am grateful

1:17:57

I'm very fortunate. I get it. I

1:17:59

try, but I couldn't feel it because

1:18:02

all I could feel was the dark.

1:18:04

I, on another level, I understand that

1:18:06

because I deal with a lot of

1:18:08

pain. I live with a lot of

1:18:10

pain. I live with a lot of

1:18:13

pain. So I physical. Yeah, so I

1:18:15

could easily go. I'm in pain right

1:18:17

now, it sucks. And I go, I'm

1:18:19

grateful that I have this nice house.

1:18:22

I'm grateful that I have these beautiful

1:18:24

dogs. I have wonderful that I have

1:18:26

wonderful friends. But I'm still feeling pain.

1:18:28

But I'm still feeling pain. You know

1:18:30

what I mean? So it's just, they

1:18:33

say it's science, but the more you

1:18:35

say the things you're grateful for, it

1:18:37

does make you feel better even if

1:18:39

you think it doesn't. So, you know,

1:18:41

next time you're feeling dark and all

1:18:44

this stuff, and you're like, you know,

1:18:46

nothing's gonna help gratities, you know, just

1:18:48

try it. Try just saying in your

1:18:50

head, I'm grateful for my girlfriend, I'm

1:18:53

grateful for my dog, I'm grateful for

1:18:55

my boosie raft. grateful for my truck,

1:18:57

I'm grateful for my mom, I'm grateful

1:18:59

for all these things, and it'll put

1:19:01

a smile on your face. I got

1:19:04

this, I got money in the bank,

1:19:06

I got this. Just try it because

1:19:08

it does help because you'll start. And

1:19:10

I do. Like I do in obviously

1:19:12

with yoga even when I'm feeling like

1:19:15

I do end up doing that and

1:19:17

there is and I think that's why

1:19:19

again the spinning on the peloton and

1:19:21

what that does to my chemistry is

1:19:24

I feel gratitude. There you go. but

1:19:26

I feel it through the experience of

1:19:28

doing something. Yeah, it brings it brings

1:19:30

it brings me love back in my

1:19:32

heart. It brings me gratitude, but I

1:19:35

can feel it like as the darkness

1:19:37

felt is replaced by a feeling of

1:19:39

love. There it is. Be it temporary

1:19:41

or not. Yeah. That's that's a big

1:19:43

no matter how ephemeral. It's like it's

1:19:46

it's it's there for that moment for

1:19:48

that fleeting moment. Whatever. It's just like

1:19:50

you know, you know, anyway. Springfest

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1:20:24

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1:20:26

last. Awesome. And I heard a

1:20:28

loud noise in the background. I

1:20:30

was probably my dog farting. So

1:20:33

that's the way it is. But

1:20:35

thanks for coming in the podcast.

1:20:37

Man, you're awesome. You're top-notch, dude.

1:20:40

And I really appreciate you open

1:20:42

it up and being cool. And

1:20:44

that's about all I have to

1:20:47

say about that. You know, now

1:20:49

it's time to read off the

1:20:51

top tier patrons and can't say

1:20:53

enough about you guys. Thanks for

1:20:56

staying, what's the word, staying true,

1:20:58

being so supportive. and you know

1:21:00

I try to get the best

1:21:03

guess I can but I get

1:21:05

all the guests so you know

1:21:07

some people they're always asking you

1:21:09

know can you get this I'm

1:21:12

always trying Ryan but you can't

1:21:14

always sometimes you get you know

1:21:16

guess the people want sometimes you

1:21:19

don't but it's more about the

1:21:21

conversations right yeah seeing how what

1:21:23

makes people tick and seeing how

1:21:25

they get through things So I

1:21:28

think it's about conversations and mental

1:21:30

health and all that stuff. So

1:21:32

here's our top tears, patron.com/inside if

1:21:35

you want to join us. Nancy

1:21:37

D. Little Lisa, Yukeco, Brian H.

1:21:39

Negro P. Rob L. Jason Dream

1:21:42

Weaver. Sophie M. Raj. See, I

1:21:44

got to watch that movie. Jennifer

1:21:46

Ann Stacey L. Jamal F. Janelle

1:21:48

B. Man, these names. They've been

1:21:51

around forever. Love it. Love you

1:21:53

guys. Mike, El Don Supremo, or

1:21:55

El Dan Supremo, 99 Moore Santiago,

1:21:58

M. Maddie S. Kendrick F. Linda

1:22:01

N. Dave Ho. Brad D.

1:22:03

Ray H. Tabitha T. Tom

1:22:05

N. Talia M. Betsy D.

1:22:08

Reannon C. Michelle A. Jeremy

1:22:10

C. Eugene and Leah Mel

1:22:12

S. Eric H. Oracle. Amanda

1:22:15

R. William K. and Kevin

1:22:17

E. We have to have

1:22:20

another hookup with the

1:22:22

patrons. You know, we should

1:22:24

do an inside a unite in

1:22:26

Chicago. this year. So I'll come a

1:22:28

night early and we'll meet at a

1:22:31

bar and it will just be the

1:22:33

inside of you patrons. Interesting. You know

1:22:35

what I mean? Yeah. Because I can't

1:22:37

do both podcasts because there's you

1:22:39

know, you know, Talkville has so

1:22:41

many more patrons. Yeah. But that'd

1:22:43

be nice to see you guys

1:22:45

if you're coming to Chicago or

1:22:48

I could try to coordinate something

1:22:50

else. So I'll remind me to

1:22:52

send a message to the patrons

1:22:54

and see where they're

1:22:56

going to. Gerald Jammin,

1:22:58

Jay, Luna R, Jules,

1:23:00

M, Jessica B, Kaylee,

1:23:02

Jay, Charlene A. Mary

1:23:04

and Louise L, Romeo

1:23:06

the band, Frank B,

1:23:08

Gen T, April R,

1:23:10

Randy S, Claudia, Nick,

1:23:12

W, Steffen, Evan, known

1:23:14

as... Seven. Take it.

1:23:16

It's Charlene A. Donji,

1:23:18

Jenny, B, 7, 6.

1:23:20

Tina E, N, G,

1:23:22

Tracy, Keith, Heather, Heather, and

1:23:24

Greg, or... Ingrid C. Christina

1:23:27

S. Dive T. Dave T.

1:23:29

David L. Jill and Brett. Or

1:23:31

drill. Dret. Grill. Grill. Brill. Jeff

1:23:33

G. And Karim H. We love

1:23:35

you guys. Thank you so much for

1:23:38

supporting us. And from the

1:23:40

Hollywood Hills and Hollywood, California.

1:23:42

I'm Michael Rosenbaum. I'm Ryan.

1:23:45

Here's a little way to

1:23:47

the camera. We love you.

1:23:49

Be good to yourself. See you

1:23:51

next week. See you. Bravo

1:23:55

TV star Lala Kent holds nothing back.

1:23:57

There's been so many times where I'm like

1:23:59

I Apollo that I said that, but I

1:24:01

wasn't meant for you to hear. Bill you

1:24:03

there. How fun would it be to bring

1:24:05

in some Bravo celebrities and make our own

1:24:07

bracket. Icon. All right, I'll take Dorinda,

1:24:10

you take Sonia. Sonia is who I

1:24:12

wish I could be. You and me both. I

1:24:14

cannot be someone in the program. What's PTO? Pay

1:24:16

time off. See? You never had a real job.

1:24:18

Give them Lala. It is nothing but

1:24:21

honesty. You guys know. Follow. Follow and

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listen on your favorite platform.