0:00

So we're supposed to start

0:02

the podcast. Ready, one,

0:04

two, three. Patriots, Gatriates,

0:07

patriots, patriots, cuckoo, cuckoo! And

0:09

everybody that wants to be

0:11

a member of Aswhole Island,

0:13

we have some space, we

0:15

are organizing to try to

0:17

stay sane through all. More

0:19

sizes and clear calorie information

0:22

on the front of every

0:24

can, bottle, and pack. We

0:26

know when it comes to

0:28

finding balance, the more choices

0:30

the better. This is a mini-meditation

0:32

guided by Bombus. Repeat after

0:34

me. I'm comfy, comfy. I'm

0:37

cozy. Gatriates, Gatriates, Vatriates. Cuckoo,

0:39

cuckoo! And everybody that wants

0:41

to be a member of

0:43

asshole island. We have some

0:45

space. We are organizing to

0:48

try to stay sane through

0:50

all of this fuckery. It's

0:52

not as easy as it

0:54

might look. It's a lot

0:57

harder than people think. What

0:59

have you had it with

1:01

Pumps? Okay, what I've had

1:03

it with is when you

1:05

have dinner companions that you're

1:07

supposed to meet for dinner

1:09

and they show up late and

1:11

act like you're supposed to wait

1:14

for them to order. No, if

1:16

you're not there at the point of

1:18

time, we're all going to order, we're

1:20

not waiting for you. Do you think

1:23

that's rude? Like, I would, if

1:25

somebody asked me to go to dinner

1:27

and they were 15 to 20 minutes late,

1:29

I would wait for all of us to

1:31

order together. See, not me. I think you

1:33

send in your order or you just

1:36

order a lake because if you're not

1:38

there, you're not there. And I

1:40

only have one friend that does this

1:42

to me. It bugs the living shit

1:44

out of me. Yeah, I just, I

1:46

mean, I wouldn't like it. Tartiness

1:49

is something that really bothers me,

1:51

but in the interest of being

1:53

polite. I would wait for that person to

1:55

arrive before. Now, I might order an

1:57

appetizer. Say, oh, we ordered an appetizer while

1:59

we... were waiting, but I would not

2:01

order my entree if it was a set

2:03

meal that we were all taking time out

2:06

of our lives to have together.

2:08

Even if that person makes you

2:10

go to bed later, see that's

2:12

what I'm like, you're getting into

2:14

my bedtime. If I had one

2:16

person that chronically did this to

2:18

me, I wouldn't go to dinner

2:20

with them anymore. I know. That's

2:22

probably the boundary. I would draw a boundary

2:24

and just not go to dinner with

2:26

them anymore. Let me ask you this.

2:29

And one person's dinner is late. Do

2:31

you go ahead and start eating or

2:33

do you wait for someone at the

2:35

table to say, like if you're

2:37

the one that doesn't have the

2:39

food, obviously you have to be the one

2:41

that says everybody go ahead and eat

2:44

or do you just go ahead and

2:46

eat? It depends again, it depends on

2:48

who I'm with. Like if I'm with

2:50

you and Josh and you know like Vanessa

2:52

or Liz, I would look at all of you

2:54

and be like. I'm going to go ahead

2:56

and start. I am starving. Right. But if

2:58

it's like we're at dinner in New York

3:00

with people we don't know very well that

3:02

we're doing business with, I'm going to sit

3:05

and I'm going to be polite. Yeah, that's

3:07

what I think you kind of have to

3:09

do. But it really bugs me when people

3:11

don't immediately say, go ahead and

3:13

start. That's the worst. Because I

3:15

immediately, I've had it with kitchens

3:17

not delivering food all at the same

3:20

time because it puts us in all

3:22

on a very precarious. I'm always, if

3:24

my meal is the delayed meal, I

3:26

immediately say, please go ahead and eat.

3:28

Do not wait on me. Same. Totally.

3:31

Yeah. All right, let me tell you

3:33

what I've had it with. I've had

3:36

it with belts, and I want

3:38

you to hear me out on

3:40

this. So as a woman, you

3:43

have high-wasted pants, mid-wasted pants,

3:45

and then low-wasted pants

3:47

that are around your hip. If

3:49

I'm wearing high-wasted pants and

3:51

I bought the belt that I

3:53

want to put on with the high-wasted

3:55

pants, when I tried it on the

3:57

store, I tried it on with the...

4:00

low -waisted pants, it

4:03

doesn't quite fit. Right, it's different.

4:05

And vice versa. And I

4:07

feel like you just can't find

4:09

a belt if you're a

4:11

woman that always fits with whatever

4:14

size your waist is, the

4:16

pants are aligning on your waist. And

4:18

I have this constant problem, like this

4:20

belt I have on today. I really

4:22

need a size smaller, because I have

4:24

on high -waisted jeans. But if I wear

4:26

this belt with kind of some low

4:28

-writers, kind of some hip -writers, fits

4:31

perfectly. Yeah, that's the problem. Or what I hate

4:33

is you get it with the high -waisted jeans,

4:35

so it's smaller, and then it looks ridiculous

4:37

with the low -waisted jeans where you need a

4:39

bigger, you know? And so it's almost like you

4:41

have to buy two belts, and that seems

4:44

like a waste. Yeah, I've had

4:46

it. I'm up to my eyeballs

4:48

with this belt situation, because I

4:50

have all of these different -waisted

4:52

pants, and then the belts I like

4:54

to mix and match every single day, you know, a

4:56

different belt. And like this belt I have on right

4:58

now, I literally want to take it and just throw

5:00

it out the car when I'm driving down the street,

5:02

because it doesn't work with these pants. It

5:06

drives me crazy. And then if I go

5:08

get another hole in it, then this end

5:10

of it is going to be curled around

5:12

to the small of my back. It's too

5:14

waggy. And I don't know what's going on

5:16

with the belt industry, but there seems to

5:18

be no regulation, especially in Trump's America. I've

5:20

noticed this more and more. Well,

5:23

everything's worse in Trump's America. I don't

5:25

think there's any question about that.

5:27

I've had it. I've had it with

5:29

the belts. Welcome to I've Had

5:31

It. We are America's top DEI podcast

5:33

broadcasting from the buckle of the

5:35

Bible Belt, although neither of us are

5:37

religious at all. We're both wildly

5:39

progressive and getting more so by the

5:41

day. I think that's one

5:43

thing Trump's America is making everybody

5:45

that's on the left, even more left,

5:48

because he's so fucking crazy. I

5:50

forgot to mention our names. I'm Jennifer.

5:52

Oh, I'm Angie. She is -

5:55

America's top DEI hire. America's

5:58

top - Mima meat

6:00

curtains effortless. Legal eagle. Legal

6:03

eagle effortlessly. You know what

6:05

would be great. The real

6:07

legal eagle? I wish he'd

6:10

sue you. for us kind of using

6:12

the name legal legal, just for some,

6:14

just for a distraction. Just for a

6:17

little entertainment value? Yeah. Thinking about suing

6:19

somebody, it's just a pain in the

6:21

ass, everything about it. I know, it

6:24

is. I just, I need something to

6:26

take my eye off the ball of

6:28

the Russian billionaire power grab on the

6:31

United States of America. I think we're

6:33

doing in that for quite some time,

6:35

definitely the foreseeable future. Kylie. Yes.

6:37

Do you have this issue with belt? I

6:40

don't have this issue with belt. I have

6:42

before and you know what I do I

6:44

take a knife and I'll like make my

6:46

own whole surgery. I would have done that

6:49

at your age too. DIY surgery? Yes. You

6:51

know what it reminds me of is a had

6:53

it of mine is they now sell

6:55

most bathing suits separately. You have to

6:57

buy the top and you have to buy

6:59

the bottom. I like this. I like this

7:02

too. You don't like it? Why don't you

7:04

like it? Why do you want to do

7:06

that? Just because I like the ability to,

7:08

like maybe I want a certain size on

7:11

the bottom and a different size on the

7:13

top. Also, I do think it's kind of

7:15

fun if it's a bikini and it's a

7:18

solid color doing like, you know, a little

7:20

mix, like two different shades of pink, kind

7:22

of an ombre bikini, and you can customize

7:24

it yourself that way, or two different shades

7:27

of blue, and you're doing like, you know,

7:29

a darker blue on the bottom, and then

7:31

kind of an aqua on the top. And

7:33

so I like having that type of control,

7:35

purchasing power, purchasing control, in this late stage

7:37

capitalism that we're in. I just like being

7:40

able to get a bathing suit that's big

7:42

enough for my boobs and for my butt.

7:44

I just think, I just want to buy

7:46

it a set. One purchase, it's a set,

7:48

I don't have to think about it, cost

7:50

me double, yeah. I don't like it, I

7:52

don't need to customize my bathing suit. You

7:54

could do a one piece. I don't want

7:57

to do a one piece. Okay, I didn't

7:59

know until we... to Italy that when

8:01

you wear a one piece you bring

8:03

the crotch over to pee you don't

8:05

take the whole thing off like in

8:07

54 years I had no idea what

8:09

yeah who was doing this I was

8:12

taking the whole thing down I was like how

8:14

to one piece on I remember and I

8:16

took the whole thing down yeah and our friend

8:18

Liz was like what is wrong with you

8:20

you're supposed to just pull the crotch over pull

8:22

the crotch to the side pull the crotch

8:24

to the side I had no earthly idea that

8:26

that was a thing see this great

8:28

this is this is one of the more

8:30

beautiful things about life that someone could

8:32

be at your advanced age

8:34

and you're still learning and open

8:37

to learning and learning learning

8:39

new petrics yeah I mean it

8:41

was great take the crotch

8:43

slide it over hike the

8:45

leg let her rip put

8:47

it back jump in the ocean yeah

8:50

never knew that until the Kylie

8:52

what about you I definitely don't

8:54

undress I mean being fully

8:56

naked dripping wet bathing suit around

8:58

your ankles that sounds like my worst nightmare

9:00

pumps I can't believe you were doing

9:02

that yeah well I didn't put it around

9:04

my ankles but I put it down

9:06

I mean I was naked even a romper

9:08

you pulled to the side I've never

9:10

done that either yeah I always completely undress

9:12

I'm just rolling around these bathrooms in

9:14

the stall but naked from the knee ab

9:16

see this is why I think you

9:18

would be a great candidate for

9:20

one of these nude resorts I

9:22

do please let's not go back there I

9:24

just I don't know I just think it could

9:27

be kind of fun for you why not running

9:29

around it'd be airy it you would

9:31

just I think you could go it

9:33

could be the podcast could pay for

9:35

it and it could be

9:37

a content creation trip where you're

9:39

going you have notes and you're

9:41

getting a lot of information

9:43

to bring back to asshole island

9:45

to help us get through

9:47

trumps america you go underground to

9:50

the nudist resort participate in all the activities

9:52

I mean if they're having bubble bath

9:54

time in the hot tub I want you

9:56

in those second dragons over their motorboat

9:58

and like nobody's business I can with the

10:00

black eye from Naked Volleyball from my own breasts. That

10:04

will know that I did. You know, honestly,

10:06

if would you do it? Here's the deal. If

10:08

I didn't have to be walking around naked, I

10:11

would totally go just for content because

10:14

I just think it would be so interesting.

10:17

But why? I mean, you used to

10:19

answer your front door naked. Why all

10:21

of a sudden you have an aversion?

10:23

I knew it was you. Yeah. And

10:25

I'm not like typically, I'm not like

10:28

modest, but I wouldn't just like flip

10:30

around naked at a nudist resort. So

10:32

here's something we need to find out.

10:34

At the nudist resort, can

10:36

you wear panties? Like,

10:39

we just need to email one of these

10:41

resorts, the Concierge Desk. So we have

10:43

a candidate that might want to

10:45

come to the all -inclusive nude

10:47

resort. But she's a little bit modest. Can

10:49

she wear panties? Because you'd let the dragons

10:51

just go, right? Yeah, the dragons would paw

10:53

them out at all times. I'd be running

10:55

around with a hanger on the end of

10:58

my nipple, the whole nudist resort. Yeah. Yeah.

11:00

For those of you that are new listeners,

11:02

one of Pump's tricks, tell them Pump's. A

11:04

party trick back in the day, now I

11:06

think gravity may have caught me up on

11:08

this, but I could balance a hanger on

11:10

the end of my nipple. And

11:12

I'd just take it and I would put it up

11:14

there and it would just hang perfectly even.

11:18

Now I just think, now the last time

11:20

I did it would just probably been

11:22

a year or two ago. I could do

11:24

a wooden hanger. I could do a

11:26

plastic hanger. Any hanger challenge I could

11:28

do it. I've been regulated to wire

11:31

hangers because of gravity. Okay,

11:33

Kylie, what's going on on the

11:35

internet regarding our podcast? I've got a

11:37

couple reviews for you. to pop

11:39

them up. This one is titled Bangs

11:41

Five Stars. And she writes, okay,

11:43

hi ladies. I've had it stand here.

11:45

I've been here since literally day

11:47

one. I love you both so much.

11:49

But Jen and pumps dot, dot,

11:52

dot. Please stop it with the bang

11:54

slander. Okay, I'm 29 and I

11:56

cut my own bangs when I was

11:58

25 and I've not gone back. It's

12:00

a part of my identity, and they're

12:02

so cute. Are they a lot of

12:04

work? Yeah. Do they literally ruin my

12:07

morning sometimes when they don't do

12:09

what I want them to do? Yeah.

12:11

But I actually think they make me

12:14

look younger. I can't imagine myself without

12:16

banks. So Pumps, as a 29-year-old

12:18

with banks, who loves them, get them,

12:20

love them, and embrace them, K, by

12:22

Kirsten. Okay, here's what I have to

12:25

say. Some people are super cute. Now

12:27

I will say on the yesified version

12:29

of you I thought you looked pretty

12:31

cute I mean magicute but I mean

12:33

I do I think some people look

12:35

great with banks but I my problem

12:38

is I like the easiest hair you

12:40

can ever come up with and it's

12:42

just easier to put your hair all

12:44

the way back in a ponytail than

12:46

fight with the banks but I'm impressed

12:48

that she can cut her own banks because

12:50

I've done that a couple times

12:53

with disastrous results I didn't

12:55

know That when you your hair's wet

12:57

It's longer and it shrinks up when

12:59

it's drier. I learned that the fucking hard

13:01

way What age you did you crack that

13:03

high school? Okay. All right Kylie who's next?

13:06

Okay. This one is titled saving my

13:08

life five stars Thank you ladies for

13:10

garnering all of my frustrations and disenchantment.

13:12

I love the pettiness of it all

13:14

and I love it when you comment

13:17

on the daily disgrace that is the

13:19

second coming vomit emoji of Trump and

13:21

his merry band of ass kissers. Thankfully

13:23

I live in a blue state, but

13:25

I know this bunch of right-wing nut

13:28

jobs will not rest until we're all

13:30

think, pray, and living as they themselves

13:32

choose. Thank you ladies, all of you.

13:34

Your podcast was the first that I

13:36

listened to after the debacle of the

13:38

last election, much love to you all. I

13:40

love that. Thank you for that message

13:42

because I want our listeners to know

13:44

that. You know, we have this podcast

13:46

where it's more fun and we do

13:48

this twice a week, but we also

13:50

have iHIP news, which is political hits

13:53

twice a day, 15 to 20 minute

13:55

episodes, and we have to stay abreast

13:57

of the news all the time so

13:59

we know what how we're talking about?

14:01

And it's taken a toll. Yeah, I've

14:03

lost sleep at night. I wake

14:05

up in kind of like a

14:08

sweaty panic. Like it's terrifying. It

14:10

really is. What they're doing is

14:12

exhausting. But anyway, I have some

14:15

new stories, non-tremt related, that I'm

14:17

going to share with everybody today.

14:19

The first one is a

14:21

new study finds that friends

14:23

who often playfully insult each other

14:25

are 300 percent more... Honest and

14:28

loyal. Research shows that we should

14:30

all absolutely relentlessly roast our friends.

14:32

Contrary to popular beliefs, psychologists believe

14:35

that friends who grill each other

14:37

with frequent, good-natured jokes might have

14:40

stronger friendships after all. In fact,

14:42

one study suggested that those who

14:44

playfully insult each other, as long

14:47

as it's in just, of course,

14:49

are actually 300% more loyal and

14:51

honest. Have I told you how much

14:53

older you are than me lately? Fuck off.

14:55

Talk about low hanging fruit. Is this what

14:57

happens in Trump's America? You just go for

14:59

the lowest hanging fruit all the time. Always.

15:01

Now when I read that article, I saw

15:04

it flat. And I was like, I think

15:06

that's right. It's true. We always razz each

15:08

other. All the time. If I get, if

15:10

some, if I get some sort of

15:12

like bad comment on the internet, nobody

15:14

is happier about this insult to me

15:17

than Pumps. I mean, she revels in

15:19

it. And, but I will say when

15:21

somebody attacks you on the internet, I'm

15:23

always like, that's my fucking job. I

15:25

will fucking cut a bitch. Only I

15:28

get to bully pumps. I will absolutely

15:30

take those fuckers out. Do not fuck

15:32

with my pumps. That's my job. Because

15:34

then you know I love you. That's

15:36

right. Okay. All right, this is something

15:38

that's so wild. And I have my,

15:41

I have a high school senior right

15:43

now and he's applied to colleges and

15:45

I've had it with waiting on college

15:47

results. We're still waiting to hear

15:49

from some colleges. And then my older

15:51

son's applying to law school. So this

15:53

whole going to college thing has become

15:56

the the biggest. racket of all rackets.

15:58

And here's the. Your kid

16:00

got into college. Does she

16:03

need a bed party? Parents

16:05

are tricking out their children's

16:07

bedrooms to celebrate college acceptances.

16:10

Sometimes spending thousands of dollars.

16:12

A bed party is a

16:14

celebration usually thrown for a

16:17

high school senior who has

16:19

been accepted to college where

16:21

they decorate their bed with

16:24

merchandise from their chosen university,

16:26

including clothing, blankets, balloons, and

16:28

themed snacks, essentially showcasing their

16:31

school pride and excitement about

16:33

attending that institution. It's often accompanied

16:35

by photos on social media to

16:37

share the news with friends and

16:40

family. Parents are spending upwards of

16:42

five. thousand dollars on these. So

16:44

like right now, my youngest in

16:46

Roman applied to 14 colleges. Why?

16:48

I don't know. But we've heard

16:51

from about four to five. We

16:53

are still waiting on others. We're not

16:55

doing any of this. I'm not going

16:57

to be doing any of this. And

16:59

again, why is everything so performative?

17:02

That's what I was going to

17:04

say. When it said, and they

17:06

often take photos and posted on

17:08

social media, that's the whole game.

17:10

That's the whole game. That's the

17:13

only thing they care about. I

17:15

mean, here's the deal. Shut the fact

17:17

up. This is stupid. If you do

17:19

it, you're stupid. Congratulations to your

17:21

child for getting in. I

17:24

mean, when my kids got

17:26

in, it was like, oh, yeah, great.

17:28

That was it. That was the list.

17:30

I mean, it's just, everything is about

17:32

performance and then... Then now we're

17:34

doing the whole dorm room situation

17:36

where you have a decorator go

17:39

do the dorm room and you

17:41

jazz it all up and it's

17:43

tens of thousands of dollars. This

17:45

is stupid. This is not preparing

17:47

people for reality. This is not

17:49

what happens. I blame 100% of

17:51

this on the parents 100% completely.

17:53

And it's just such a I

17:56

see why Gen Z is always

17:58

so risk adverse adverse and always

18:00

like terrified to do things because

18:02

every time you get on the

18:04

internet you're seeing this perfectly curated

18:06

version of somebody who's living a

18:08

parallel life from you and this

18:10

mother is doing all of this

18:12

you know overly decorating the

18:14

room and exploding confetti you know for

18:17

sure they had gender reveal parties that's

18:19

where it started and I bet they

18:21

have a bunch of Stanley cups too

18:24

yeah but Then think about the majority

18:26

of kids like maybe they're really decorating

18:28

the room and exploding confetti You know

18:31

for sure they had gender reveal parties.

18:33

That's where it started and I bet

18:35

they have a bunch of Stanley cups,

18:38

too. Yeah, but then think about the

18:40

majority of kids like maybe their parents

18:42

can't afford to send them to college

18:45

or they don't want to take on

18:47

student loans and they're going to you

18:49

know maybe a vote tech school or

18:51

maybe they're taking a gap year maybe

18:53

they're just immediately going to work or

18:56

I don't know I just think that

18:58

we are just constantly highlighting this

19:00

path that Somebody somewhere wrote that this

19:02

has to be the only American path

19:04

that everybody has to go down. And

19:06

then I just think there's a lot

19:09

of emptiness behind all of that. I completely

19:11

agree. There's just not a lot of

19:13

substance to that. If you want your

19:15

friends to know where your kids going

19:17

to school, take a picture. So and so is

19:20

going to so and so place. I

19:22

mean, just all this, the balloons and

19:24

the all the money and the time.

19:26

It just seems... inefficient, ineffective, and stupid

19:29

to me. Yeah, all right, we've got

19:31

that figured out. I think this is

19:33

stupid, the college kid thing. The whole

19:35

thing is stupid. Okay, listener,

19:37

today we have a big day. This is,

19:39

we have a great guest. I mean,

19:42

like a really, really, really good

19:44

guest. When we first started the

19:46

podcast a couple of years ago,

19:48

we made a list of guests

19:50

that we would like to have. And

19:52

this guest was near the top of

19:54

it. As was. Barack Obama, which we

19:56

died laughing when we put him on the

19:58

list because we knew that we would

20:00

never ever ever interview Barack

20:03

Obama. Much to our surprise. Shock

20:05

is a shock to us mostly.

20:07

We interviewed Barack Obama before we

20:10

interviewed this person. That's right. Yeah.

20:12

And so, but we love her.

20:14

She is smart, fights the good

20:17

fight, great liberal. Let's

20:19

welcome to I've had

20:21

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streaming april fourth on

23:02

hulu all right let's

23:04

welcome to asshole island

23:06

chelsea handler chelsea how

23:08

are you oh my

23:10

god welcome thank you for

23:12

having me at asshole islands

23:14

on asshole island i love

23:17

assholes and i love islands

23:19

exactly this is a place

23:21

where we can all come

23:23

to celebrate petty grievances and

23:25

be the counter programming to

23:27

toxic positivity self -help all the

23:30

stuff because it's just exhausting

23:32

it's exhausting being on the

23:34

internet right now it's exhausting

23:36

is a real thing i

23:38

hear you yes all right chelsea

23:40

what have you had it with oh

23:43

god i mean a lot

23:46

of men you know flip

23:48

flip flops for sure um people

23:50

talking to me on not

23:52

even talking to me but people

23:54

talking to each other on

23:56

planes that i find annoying when

23:58

people try to get to know

24:00

each other. I find people at

24:02

airports with no sense of like

24:04

urgency annoying when they're at the

24:07

airport and they're just looking around

24:09

or they have a water bottle

24:11

going through TSA. It's like, was

24:13

the last flight before 9-11? Like,

24:15

how can that possibly be in

24:18

this day and age that a

24:20

full jug of water is acceptable

24:22

to go through TSA? You haven't

24:24

gotten that memo? What else do I

24:27

find annoying? People who are really rude

24:29

to service people, I've had it with

24:31

that. And I will say something to

24:33

a stranger. I've actually get off on

24:35

that. So like if you're around me

24:38

in a restaurant or on a plane

24:40

and you're rude, then you're gonna hear

24:42

about it from me. And that's always

24:44

an unwelcome exchange for that person. I've

24:47

had it with Donald Trump

24:49

and Elon Musk, obviously. I

24:51

had it with them before

24:53

they even really took office.

24:55

I mean, there's not much

24:57

I haven't had it with. Right.

24:59

When we emailed with you

25:02

prior, you mentioned something about

25:04

having it with dog parks.

25:06

Oh yeah, I've had some of my

25:08

worst exchanges in the world in my

25:11

life at dog parks. I talk about,

25:13

my new book is out, I talk

25:15

about that in my new book about

25:18

rescuing my most recent dog. His name

25:20

is Doug, he's a black chow chow,

25:22

he's so sexually. charged, I mean, not

25:25

with me, but I just find him

25:27

so attractive and debonair. But when I

25:29

went to go meet up with him

25:31

to have a viewing of Doug, I

25:34

ran into a man at a dog

25:36

park and I tell the story of

25:38

my book, but it was pretty ridiculous

25:40

and he was a gay man and

25:43

I've established a lot of goodwill with

25:45

most of the gay people in America

25:47

and abroad. So for him, for him,

25:49

this guy went off on me. And

25:51

then once he realized who I was,

25:53

he doubled down and was like, I

25:55

think the last thing he said to

25:57

me was, you're a whore, Chelsea Hamlet.

26:00

10 a.m. on like a

26:02

Friday morning at a dog

26:04

park in Brentwood and then

26:06

I just obviously that was

26:08

just so funny and ridiculous

26:10

because obviously if you're screaming

26:12

at somebody at a dog

26:14

park and calling them a

26:16

whore then you've got some

26:18

problem. I want to get

26:20

back so you You adopted

26:22

Doug, but you went to view

26:24

him first with this clandestinely viewing.

26:26

Were you watching him play with

26:28

somebody else before you decided to

26:30

get him? It's a showing, a dog

26:32

showing, like what you do when you

26:35

go see a house, that was a

26:37

potential buy. I was, I have a

26:39

thing for chow chows, that's my type.

26:41

So they brought me two chows, one

26:44

is called a blue chow, but they're

26:46

not blue, they're gray, and then they

26:48

have a black chow, and obviously we

26:51

know my propensity towards black men, so

26:53

there was no decision to me. So,

26:55

you know, we have really attractive dogs

26:57

too. And I think a very photogenic

27:00

dog's great personalities, very congenial, very

27:02

attractive. And it's great around the

27:04

house when you have a really

27:06

attractive dog, but I find it

27:08

really annoying in public because then

27:11

your dog's so attractive it invites

27:13

conversations that you really don't want

27:15

to participate in. Yeah, no shit.

27:17

I don't want... I don't bring

27:19

my dog to half of the

27:21

places I go because I don't

27:24

want to deal with all of

27:26

the attention he's getting. I'm already

27:28

trying to be incognito. I don't

27:30

want someone asking me about my dog.

27:32

So I just pretend. So I bring

27:35

him when I need a buffer, like

27:37

if I need a buffer, like if

27:39

I need an excuse to get out

27:41

of a place sooner, then I would

27:43

like, you know, like sooner than later,

27:45

I'll have to go. in the winter,

27:48

which I usually am, when I walk

27:50

down with him in the village. And

27:52

people think he's a bear. I had

27:54

three five-year-old Australian girls going, oh, daddy,

27:56

it's a bear. She has a bear.

27:58

I'm like, oh my. And so it's

28:00

cute, but I don't really invite those

28:03

kinds of interactions. Right. You know, it

28:05

says, these are interactions where people don't

28:07

take into account the feelings of the

28:09

listener. And I find myself in this

28:12

situation all the time where somebody is

28:14

just sharing a lot of information, a

28:16

lot of detail about their life. And

28:18

as they're expressing this, I think, are

28:21

they not thinking about my feelings? Are

28:23

you not taking into account the feelings

28:25

of the listener about how breathtakingly? boring

28:27

as conversation is? I couldn't

28:30

agree with you more. It's like

28:32

when people, I just don't understand

28:34

how you could possibly say to

28:36

someone, are you famous? That is

28:38

the dumbest thing ever. There was

28:40

an article recently that people that

28:42

engage in small talk have the

28:45

lower IQ than people that despise

28:47

small talk. And I was like, that

28:49

confirms right here that. we're all so

28:51

smart because I despise Small Talk. I

28:53

won't go to places because I'm like,

28:55

it's a Small Talk Yacht Fest amount.

28:57

Yeah, as soon as the weather comes up,

28:59

I even I'm guilty of it, like when

29:02

I'm real desperate, I will bring up the

29:04

weather just if I'm in an elevator and

29:06

someone's like taking me to the next floor

29:08

for something and they work for the place

29:10

that I'm going to, like, if it's a

29:13

podcast, then they're, you know, they have to

29:15

meet me in meet me in the lobby.

29:17

And then as soon as the weather comes

29:19

up, even if it's my, like if it's

29:21

my, if it's my, I initiate it, I

29:24

have to stop talking because I'm so disappointed

29:26

in myself. Does silence bother you? Like in

29:28

an elevator or something like that, does

29:30

I, see I start talking because the

29:32

silence makes me nervous? Yeah, I think that's

29:35

why we all do it, but I think

29:37

it's really good to get comfortable with silence

29:39

and not. and not try to like interrupt

29:41

it because then it's almost a game you

29:44

know like when I after I got I

29:46

went to therapy for a while and my

29:48

doctor my my psychiatrist was like listen you

29:50

don't have to be the center of attention

29:52

in every dinner party like like hang back

29:55

don't in shock and let someone else handle

29:57

that it was brutally boring when I did

29:59

that. I was like, who's gonna take

30:01

over? Like, if I don't do

30:03

it, I'm not interested. You

30:05

didn't realize how much fun you were. I

30:09

know, I know, I'm always reminded. I'm

30:11

like, you are the party. You might not,

30:13

everyone needs your opinion. And I remember

30:15

going to like a few dinner parties after

30:17

that, really trying not to like, you know,

30:19

talk. Like going, okay, don't be the reason.

30:21

You don't have to be the center of

30:23

attention. You don't have to be the life

30:25

of the party. Just sit back and let

30:27

someone else handle that. It was brutally boring

30:30

when I did that. I was like, who's

30:32

gonna take over? Like, if I don't

30:34

do it, I'm not interested. You

30:36

didn't realize how much fun you were. I

30:40

know, I know. And I'm like,

30:42

you are the party. You might, you

30:44

might as well bring it, you

30:46

know. So there are these rumors. These

30:48

pictures live in Oklahoma City. So

30:50

we're very easily impressed. Impressed with accents.

30:52

By accents. You know, it's like,

30:54

oh my gosh, because everybody here just

30:56

has a Southern accent. And so

30:58

always so impressive for us. My assistant

31:00

Karen from like, she's been my

31:02

assistant for over 10 years now. She

31:05

was my assistant for nine years. She

31:07

left to have a baby. She

31:09

thought that she didn't want to expose

31:11

me to her child rearing. And

31:13

I appreciated that. And now that the

31:15

baby is two, she's returned. And

31:17

she's from Enid, Oklahoma. Oh my gosh.

31:19

Yes. So I have a big

31:21

connection to Oklahoma via my assistant Karen.

31:23

Does she tell you it's just

31:25

Magaville, USA, around here? Well,

31:28

she definitely is disappointed with

31:30

the politics of Oklahoma as

31:32

you women are. And I

31:34

appreciate how disappointed you guys are. It's

31:36

a very great representation of Oklahoma for you

31:39

guys to have your own podcast and

31:41

have it be so popular. You're doing

31:43

the Lord's work. And I know the

31:45

Lord is someone that a lot of

31:47

Oklahomans believe in. It's

31:51

true. Yeah. It's true. I mean, it's a

31:53

really big, it's kind of neck -to -neck Jesus

31:55

and Trump. I mean, they're kind of in

31:57

a neck -to -neck race. Yeah. Jesus

32:00

being supportive of Donald Trump.

32:02

I love who in Christianity

32:04

and religion is obfuscated with

32:06

our president as if. like

32:08

as if sending people out

32:11

of this country and deporting

32:13

people, that's very Christian, discriminating

32:15

against people who are transgender

32:17

and gay and women and

32:19

of color. I mean, honestly,

32:21

there is nothing less Christian.

32:23

Well, you know, the breed

32:25

of Christianity in the Bible

32:27

Belt is different. In the

32:30

Bible Belt, these people are

32:32

primed to support Donald Trump.

32:34

You have these really horrible...

32:37

architecture built churches where the

32:39

whole idea is to grift.

32:41

They accept Vimo, the pastor

32:44

is a liar, a con

32:46

man, and it is a

32:48

total It's basically just like

32:51

Trumpism. There's a cruelty to

32:53

it. There is other rising

32:55

people, demonizing, trans people, demonizing

32:58

gay people, and most importantly,

33:00

the worship of capitalism in these

33:02

churches. And so for me, because

33:04

I'm an atheist and was raised

33:06

by atheists in the buckle of

33:08

the Bible Belt, so for me,

33:11

when I see the jump from

33:13

people go. from being evangelical to

33:15

Trump supporters, to me it makes

33:17

perfect sense. The through line is

33:19

just right there. Pumps was raised

33:21

evangelical and has deconstructed her faith

33:24

and... Oh God. Yeah, no shit.

33:26

It's amazing. I'm as normal as

33:28

I am and that's not very

33:30

normal. It's a low bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

33:32

I can tell by the coat that you're wearing

33:35

and the color that you're pushing out.

33:37

Yeah, evangelical behavior.

33:39

So good for

33:41

you, girls. I mean, stick

33:43

together, please. We need you.

33:45

Totally. Okay, Chelsea, we're gonna

33:48

play a game with you

33:50

called Had It or Hit

33:52

It. Okay. Oh my God. Welcome

33:54

to Had it or hit it.

33:57

I would hit it. Had it. Had

33:59

it. or hit it psychedelics. Had it

34:01

and will continue. Oh, I did it.

34:04

Sorry. I was like, I know you

34:06

look. Sorry. I can't watch your. Every

34:08

day. I mean, yesterday I woke up.

34:11

Honestly, I was in Seattle. I had

34:13

a book signing in Seattle. I had

34:15

to fly here. I got off the

34:17

plane. had to go to my trainer,

34:20

got my hair color done, then had

34:22

to do another interview, and I woke

34:24

up the yesterday morning in Seattle, and

34:26

I was like, how am I going

34:29

to get through this day? Because it's

34:31

been like 14 days in a row,

34:33

and I rolled over, grabbed a micro

34:36

dose of LSD and said, let's get

34:38

after our day. So I am always

34:40

about to hit it. That is my

34:42

Emma. My husband is a recovering opioid

34:45

addict and he had taken SSRIs for

34:47

years and didn't really have a lot

34:49

of success and I know some people

34:52

have great. You never got my hair

34:54

color done and then had to do

34:56

another interview and I woke up yesterday

34:58

morning in Seattle and I was like

35:01

how am I going to get through

35:03

this day because it's been like 14

35:05

days in a row and I rolled

35:07

over grabbed a micro dose of LSD

35:10

and said let's get after our day.

35:12

So I am always about to hit

35:14

it. That is my Emma. I love

35:17

that. You know, my husband is a

35:19

recovering opioid addict and he had taken

35:21

SSRIs for years and didn't really have

35:23

a lot of success and I know

35:26

some people have great success on antidepressants

35:28

but he really didn't. So he started

35:30

doing ketamine therapy. through a medical doctor.

35:32

It's legal in Oklahoma, if you can

35:35

believe it, but he goes to the

35:37

doctor. I can't believe that. I can't

35:39

believe it. And so is weed. Anyway,

35:42

intravenously, like once a month, and it

35:44

completely transformed the way he organized his

35:46

trauma in his brain. Hey, I'm really,

35:48

really sorry, but I think you're right

35:51

about this. Anyway, so he started doing

35:53

this and quit taking SSRIs and it

35:55

has been a complete game changer in

35:57

him sustaining his sobriety and finding. and

36:00

happiness, so I'm a huge believer in

36:02

this. The way he organized his trauma

36:04

in his brain, and it has been

36:07

so helpful for him in maintaining his

36:09

sobriety, and at first when he came

36:11

home and he was like, I think

36:13

I need to do psychedelics, I'm like,

36:16

fuck you motherfucker, I've been to five

36:18

family weeks and you're coming home and

36:20

telling me you want to take drugs

36:23

to treat your drug addiction. fuck you.

36:25

And then I'm watching Anderson Cooper one

36:27

night on 60 Minutes and he's like

36:29

John Hopkins University is talking about microdosing

36:32

silocyp and I'm like oh fuck I'm

36:34

gonna have to go say sorry. So

36:36

I walk up to Josh and I'm

36:38

like hey I'm really really sorry but

36:41

I think you're right about this. Anyway

36:43

so he started doing this and quit

36:45

taking SSRIs and it has been a

36:48

complete... game changer in him sustaining his

36:50

sobriety and finding serenity and happiness. So

36:52

I'm a huge believer in this in

36:54

this microdosing. I love this story. This

36:57

is such a success story. I couldn't

36:59

agree more. I mean, so many people

37:01

who have real trauma and actually participate,

37:03

whether it's microdosing, whether it's, you know,

37:06

guided therapy. I have a lot of

37:08

friends. I live in Canada usually during

37:10

the wintertime and the best and cleanest

37:13

drugs are up there and I have

37:15

a therapist and he's a doctor and

37:17

these guys do sits with people like

37:19

Silesibon sits, Ketamine sits, MDMA sits for

37:22

couples and the results are incredible. So

37:24

it's indisputable that those kinds of drugs

37:26

help heal trauma and drug addiction. Okay

37:29

Chelsea had it which means you don't

37:31

like it. Thank you for it. The

37:33

rules of the game because I'm a

37:35

little bit slow on the uptake sometimes.

37:38

I didn't have my LSD today. All

37:40

right, had it or hit it sexting?

37:42

No, I've had it with sexting. I

37:44

find that, I don't find that sexy.

37:47

I like flirting, but I don't want

37:49

like someone's, I don't want a tick

37:51

pick, and I don't want someone being

37:54

like, I'm gonna, you know. eat your

37:56

pussy. I don't I don't want to

37:58

talk about that. You know what I

38:00

mean? Those texts are, I just assume

38:03

anything you put in writing is going

38:05

to end up publicly. Right. So I

38:07

don't want to be like, I can't

38:09

wait to, you know, like that kind

38:12

of talk is better just left for

38:14

the bedroom. I agree. I agree. I agree. In

38:16

person. Okay. Had it or hit at Canada.

38:19

I hit it always. I love Canada. It's my

38:21

favorite place and I consider myself to be

38:23

a Canadian. I love Canada. What do you

38:25

think about all this bullshit people are doing

38:27

to Canada? Does it just make you want

38:29

to tear your hair out? Yeah, I feel like

38:31

I have to go represent and apologize

38:34

to the entire country. I just can't

38:36

believe that we are treating our neighbors

38:38

like that. Like it's so clear what

38:40

is going on. Like we are basically

38:42

acting in Russia's best interest now because

38:44

these are all Russian interests. So the

38:46

idea of fifth of Canada, which has

38:48

basically no military defense against us becoming

38:50

our 51 state, is so disrespectful and

38:53

so insulting. So I mean, I just

38:55

am constantly trying to make nice with

38:57

Canadians. There's only like 35 million of

38:59

them, you know what 340 million people.

39:01

So we really need to get on

39:03

it in terms of supporting them. Like

39:05

what are we going to do, invade

39:08

Canada? Like is that what's going to

39:10

happen? Our military is going to do

39:12

that? I don't think so. Well, I

39:14

think that we have a situation where

39:16

Donald Trump is completely compromised by Vladimir

39:19

Putin and has hired Elon Musk to

39:21

be Donald Trump's full-time nanny. And Republicans

39:23

during the election like to ask the

39:25

question, you better off today than you

39:27

were four years ago, people were dying.

39:30

But I think we have to

39:32

start asking the question now, are

39:34

you better off today than you

39:36

were on January 19th? Like, think

39:38

about the complete historic realignment that

39:40

is happening. 80 years of peacemaking

39:43

and democracy building that we've done

39:45

is being flushed down the toilet

39:47

because Donald Trump is compromised by

39:49

a weak thug. dictator Putin and

39:52

it's just so maddening. I mean we have another

39:54

podcast where we talk about politics all the time

39:56

and it's like completely beating me down because I

39:58

want to pull my hair out. by the

40:00

root, it's so frustrating that half the

40:03

country is so god damn dumb. I know,

40:05

I know, but I have to believe

40:07

that more than half the country,

40:09

like overturning democracy is, okay, like,

40:11

you know, it happened in Iran,

40:13

it's happening in Venezuela, it's been

40:16

happening in Venezuela for many years.

40:18

We're talking about countries that have

40:20

a lot fewer people than we

40:22

do. So with 340 million people.

40:25

I just keep thinking it's impossible

40:27

to overturn democracy with that many

40:29

people, even though the Democrats don't

40:31

seem to have some sort of

40:33

resistance plan. We haven't developed that

40:36

yet, but that is what I'm thinking.

40:38

Like, at some point, there's got

40:40

to be, I don't think it's

40:42

possible to do that. Like, either

40:44

whether certain states secede from the

40:46

union or what. but like we

40:48

just that's just not going to

40:50

happen. People aren't going to put

40:52

up with that. And I'm I'm

40:54

eager to find out what our

40:57

move is. Do you have any

40:59

worry about the elections? Yes, yes,

41:01

I think Elon Musk is now

41:03

in charge of, you know, I

41:05

worry about elections. I think the

41:07

algorithms, everything he does, the misinformation,

41:09

I can't believe these tech pros

41:11

and all of the things that

41:13

they're doing, just to keep, it's

41:15

like, I just don't understand how

41:17

these billionaires need more money. Like

41:20

when is enough money, you're never

41:22

going to spend 400 billion dollars.

41:24

It's impossible. I mean, especially when

41:26

you don't give any away in

41:28

charity or do any philanthropy, it

41:30

would be really hard to burn

41:33

through that. So, um, talk of,

41:35

you know, like I really don't,

41:37

I just can't believe the genuflection

41:39

that has been happening since he

41:41

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43:55

had it or hit it

43:57

inspirational quotes. I

44:00

love inspirational quotes. My book is filled

44:02

with them because I just think people

44:04

need an injection of optimism. I know

44:06

when I read something that makes sticks

44:08

with me, I love that. Like I

44:10

like a little positivity. There's too much

44:12

negativity around right now, so I'm very

44:15

much into kind of. infusing everywhere like

44:17

wherever I go I want to double

44:19

down with that stuff with everything I

44:21

mean I'm not setting out to make

44:23

you know to say things that are

44:25

quotable but when I read things from

44:27

other people that are quotable I love

44:30

that I'm like wow that's something every

44:32

woman needs to hear especially when it's

44:34

directed towards women. Okay here's a nuance

44:37

of this you go to somebody's Instagram

44:39

page and at the top it says

44:41

like Live, laugh, love, Jesus is

44:43

my home boy and has

44:45

a sunflower and a cross,

44:48

right? And then it's full

44:50

of inspirational quotes, but on

44:52

yours they've written, you know,

44:54

Chelsea, you are a demon

44:56

crat, transgender lover, can't wait

44:58

for you to burn in

45:00

hell. But her whole Instagram,

45:02

the whole facade is this

45:04

inspirational quote thing. We here on

45:06

asshole Island. believe that when you

45:08

see people that traffic in inspirational

45:10

quotes, particularly in a performative manner

45:12

online, that it is a red

45:15

flag much the same way when

45:17

couples that live together have

45:19

conversations in the comment section

45:21

online, also a red flag. That I

45:23

also believe that's a red

45:25

flag. Yeah, any couple, yes,

45:28

I know exactly what you're

45:30

talking about and there's a

45:32

lot of examples of that,

45:34

very public examples of that.

45:36

Yeah. Okay, had it or

45:38

hit it flight attendants? I have

45:40

never, I know, I, I hit it.

45:42

I love flight attendants. I dedicated my

45:45

entire new book to them. They do

45:47

not get enough respect. These people put

45:49

up with garbage and nonsense and inebriated

45:52

people and men with fucking bare feet

45:54

on planes. Okay? They deserve raises and

45:56

they deserve to drink and do drugs

45:58

while they're transported. us from one

46:00

location to the next. Yeah, I loved

46:03

it when they got to duct tape

46:05

people during COVID. I was like, go

46:07

for it because people are awful. They

46:09

act terrible. As if you would

46:11

be mad at a flight attendant about the

46:13

rules on a flight. I once had a

46:15

guy next to me tell on me because

46:18

I didn't, I had my my phone on

46:20

and I was listening to something during takeoff.

46:22

I'm like, and he flagged the flight

46:24

attendant tenant to tell on me.

46:26

Meanwhile, we're both adults. I'm sitting

46:29

right next to him. It's like,

46:31

we're in like, you know, fucking

46:33

Catholic school or something. And the

46:36

flight attendant was like, sir, she's

46:38

right here. If you want her

46:40

to take her headphones off or

46:42

take off, which, by the way,

46:45

isn't not a thing, you can

46:47

actually listen to something while you're

46:49

taking off. I mean, maybe not

46:52

now with the way the flight

46:54

attendant was like, I'm not. ever

46:56

gonna fuck with Chelsea. Like I've

46:58

got their back and they've got

47:00

my back and passengers can, you

47:02

know, I don't like what people

47:04

tell on each other as adults.

47:07

It's so stupid. Okay, had it

47:09

or hit it pickleball? Oh,

47:11

I've had it with pickleball. I've

47:13

won a tournament. Okay, you know

47:15

what? I don't. I was a

47:18

recent tournament, I was a semi-finalist,

47:20

which means, hashtag, almost a winner.

47:22

Which means, you're almost an exerciser.

47:24

That pickleball is not a real

47:27

sport, and everyone needs to stop

47:29

acting like it is. I can

47:31

understand that there's fun to be

47:33

had, but it is not a

47:35

real. It's not that it's not

47:38

a demonstration of athleticism. Have you

47:40

played? I have played, I played at

47:42

the Bush compound in Kenny Buncourt with

47:44

George W. Bush watching me play. I

47:46

was very stoned, obviously, because I'm not

47:48

doing Republicans without having some drugs in

47:51

my system. But I didn't play for

47:53

long, because there was really nothing to

47:55

do, because it was pick a ball.

47:57

So you just stand there and wait.

47:59

and then usually not much happens.

48:02

What's George W. Bush like in

48:04

person? He's pretty charming in person.

48:06

He's got dimples and always gets me.

48:09

So, but I had to go. I

48:11

was in Maine and I'm friends with

48:13

his daughters and they were like, come

48:16

over, we'll do a pickleball tournament. I'm

48:18

like, I can't go to George W.

48:20

Bush's house. I said, Barbara Bush, his

48:22

daughter, I'm like, Sissy, I can't be

48:25

seen with your father. I have outbursts.

48:27

I don't know when they're going to

48:29

happen. I'm going to go off on.

48:32

I would hate to be a guest

48:34

and be like, hey asshole. And so

48:36

my brother was like, can just take

48:38

one of your edibles? You know, my

48:41

sister's like, take two. And my other

48:43

sister's like, take four. Because that's when

48:45

your personality is really subdued. So I

48:47

did. I took like 40 milligrams of

48:49

THC and I went there. I met

48:52

the president. He was very charming. He

48:54

wanted me to like him. He paid

48:56

attention to my family in a very

48:58

nice, respectful way, the way a politician

49:01

is trained to do. He duped me

49:03

and then he showed me his artwork,

49:05

his painting collection. You know, and it's

49:07

so funny about, I used to just,

49:09

I. hated him and I had so

49:12

much focus for eight years, a very

49:14

concentrated myopic hate onto him. And then,

49:16

you know, we got Obama and it

49:18

was, you know, hope and change, everybody's

49:20

great, and then you get Trump again,

49:23

and then during Trump's first term,

49:25

W. comes back out and he's

49:27

painting portraits of immigrants. And I

49:29

remember this moment, and I go,

49:31

oh, Georgie Bish, how sweet is that? It's like

49:33

it all just dissipated. All of this focus

49:35

of me, like, literally grinding up John Stewart every

49:38

night from the buckle of the Bible belt snorting

49:40

it, anything I could do to just dislike

49:42

Donald Trump. I mean, not Donald Trump, him, that's

49:44

where I am right now, but George W. Bush.

49:46

And then they get out of office and they

49:49

don't have that power anymore and they don't have

49:51

that, they don't occupy as much real estate in

49:53

your brain anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still

49:55

think he's a war criminal and not the

49:57

best president, but I think I could probably. go

50:00

play pickleball with him. But also, well

50:02

we have so much, like it's so much

50:04

worse now what Republicans mean is so much

50:07

more threatening out to democracy that it kind

50:09

of takes the, you know what I mean?

50:11

It's like overshadows him. Like he does seem

50:13

like a nice guy now. Right, totally. Okay,

50:16

last one, had it or hit it, the

50:18

United States of America. Well I'm

50:20

not going to say I've had it with the

50:22

country that I was born in and that

50:24

I live in, but I'm very disappointed in

50:27

everything that's going that's going on. I'm very

50:29

worried about all the people who feel so

50:31

scared and threatened and I'm worried about all

50:33

of this private information that's going to be

50:35

exposed and all of the people in government

50:38

agencies that are losing their jobs. So I

50:40

mean, I could see I have like, you

50:42

know, I could see a way like I

50:44

could see myself leaving if things get so

50:47

bad, but I really don't want to bail

50:49

on my country and I don't want to

50:51

bail on the people that like, you

50:53

know, depend on people who are

50:55

outspoken who are outspoken and have

50:57

big platforms to defend. democracy. I

50:59

just, I don't want to say

51:02

I'm exhausted because, but I mean I

51:04

am, we all are, but I'm not

51:06

ready to give up yet. I like

51:08

that answer. That's a really good

51:10

answer. I like it. It's a

51:12

very good answer and I hope

51:15

that you're right about the 340

51:17

million people and not able to

51:19

hoodwink us and make this.

51:21

an autocracy. All right, Chelsea, tell us

51:23

you dropped little nuggets about your Netflix

51:26

comedy special, which I can't wait for,

51:28

and then we have. We have your

51:30

book. It's great. Your books are really

51:32

good show to our viewer. Are you

51:34

too? I'll have what she's having. That's

51:37

the name of my book. There she

51:39

is. And then my special comes out

51:41

March 25th, it's called The Feeling, that's,

51:43

and that's on Netflix. And yeah, yeah,

51:45

I'm celebrating my 50th birthday with lots

51:48

of new releases and I've got lots

51:50

of stuff lined up for this year.

51:52

So I'm very, very happy that I

51:54

got to sit down with the two

51:56

of you wonderful women and talk and

51:58

bash our situation. our bash our leadership.

52:01

I'm so glad we did too. And

52:03

we have a mutual friend, Renee Stubbs,

52:05

who I've really had it with, because

52:07

when Trump was inaugurated, I follow her

52:09

on Instagram. She's like, I think I

52:11

was dragging open and then she's on

52:13

the beach and then she's with all

52:16

these power lesbians floating on tubes and

52:18

she's doing all this fun stuff. And

52:20

I would just reply like, this is

52:22

insufferable. I can't watch you having fun

52:24

for one more second and one more

52:26

day. But how great is Renee. Renee

52:28

is great. She came to Whistler for my

52:30

party there. She came to LA. She came

52:32

to New York City. I had a party

52:34

in New York City. And then I said,

52:36

you know what? I don't see why you're

52:38

not at every party. You should come to

52:40

my birthday party in L.A. too. And she's

52:42

like, okay, I'll book a flight. And I'm

52:44

like, because I wasn't very difficult. So yeah,

52:47

she likes to get around for sure. And

52:49

she's a real piece of work. Yeah, she's

52:51

the best. She'll love this. She will love

52:53

this mention of her in the closing of

52:55

this episode. Chelsea. Thank you so much for

52:57

coming on our show. When we started

52:59

our podcast two years. like probably

53:01

top five Barack Obama was there and

53:03

we thought well we'll never get Barack

53:05

Obama. We got Barack Obama before we

53:07

got you. So thank you so much

53:09

for finally coming. Oh my god I

53:12

didn't know that. I have to go

53:14

back and listen to that episode right

53:16

now. I fucking can't wait. He's hot.

53:18

I mean Chelsea is hot. Listen you

53:20

don't have to tell me about hot black

53:22

men. I got that message a memo

53:25

a long time ago. Probably way before

53:27

you girls did an Oklahoma to be

53:29

fair. Tuchy. All right, thanks Chelsea. Tell

53:32

Renee, hi. Thanks, Chelsea. Happy birthday. Thank

53:34

you. Thank you. Happy birthday. Thank you.

53:36

Happy birthday. Bye. Thank you. Chelsea handler.

53:38

You know, it's so weird because I

53:41

watched her on Chelsea lately every night

53:43

forever. And she's just like she is

53:45

on the show. She's just normal and

53:48

funny and smart. And I love all

53:50

her specials. I'm excited for her special.

53:52

That'll give me something to look

53:54

forward to. This was Kylie's top

53:56

guest that she wanted Kylie. How

53:58

was that for you? Good, I was so nervous.

54:01

You were? I'm not even a part of it,

54:03

but I was just back here like, I hope

54:05

I'm doing a good job. Were you excited? Yes,

54:07

it was Chelsea handler day when I woke up.

54:09

That's what Anna said to me. She said it's

54:11

Chelsea handler day. Oh, sweet. I heard you giggling.

54:13

I mean, she's so funny. No, she's great, and

54:15

she's so pretty, so pretty, so pretty. Yeah, she's

54:17

really, I really like her, I really like her.

54:19

I really like her, I think, I think, I think, I think, I

54:21

think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I,

54:23

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

54:25

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I Yeah,

54:28

all right. Well, listen,

54:30

here's the deal. We

54:33

have another podcast, IHIP

54:35

News, drops twice

54:38

daily. Please go

54:40

subscribe to that

54:42

podcast. And remember

54:44

that Pumps is

54:47

America's top DEI

54:50

podcaster. And- D-I-Hire. Yeah. I

54:52

think we emerged and we have

54:54

a bunch of other shit and

54:56

just pumps tell them. We will

54:59

see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

55:01

I'll tell you what I've had

55:03

it with. I'm added with that.

55:05

Listen up patriots, Gatriates, and

55:07

Natriates. We have a new

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will chart upwards with America's

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greatest legal mind. Pumps, what

55:41

does an eagle say? Kakah!

55:43

A little bit more enthusiasm.

55:45

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55:47

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55:50

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