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savings to day. Hi everyone, welcome

3:32

Hi, everyone. welcome to

3:34

Thanks for being a short weekly pod

3:36

remind us of the many

3:38

essential and beautiful ways we we

3:40

one another. Every Every Sunday, a

3:42

I'll read a submission from

3:44

a listener Corrigan Wanders, could be

3:46

wedding vows or about mitzvah toast, a eulogy, or

3:48

a retirement speech. speech. We We

3:50

believe this is probably the

3:52

loveliest way to tap into

3:54

our better selves and remember

3:56

our highest values. We encourage you

3:58

to share this podcast each

4:01

week one person new. person you love. Maybe someone you miss

4:03

and need to bring closer,

4:05

someone you want to feel

4:07

your appreciation or admiration or

4:09

both. This is thanks for

4:11

being here. This week's thanks

4:13

for being here. This week's

4:15

thanks for being here comes from

4:17

a listener named Molly James Lundak.

4:19

She says, hi Kelly, I was

4:21

listening to your podcast the other

4:24

day. It's always a bright spot,

4:26

equally thought provoking and comforting. like

4:28

a wise friend who may not

4:30

have the whole life thing figured

4:32

out, but can give you a

4:34

different perspective when you need it

4:36

most. It also prompted me to

4:38

share with you this piece I

4:40

wrote after eight weeks of deep

4:43

self-reflection during my breast cancer sabbatical,

4:45

see below. I shared it with

4:47

friends and family and was surprised

4:49

how many people were deeply impacted

4:51

by it. So I figured your

4:53

readers might find it the wake

4:55

up call they need too. Either

4:57

way, I'm just glad to have

4:59

more eyes on it. You never

5:02

know who needs to hear the

5:04

message. Thanks for being a gift

5:06

to all your listeners and readers.

5:08

Sincerely, Molly James Lundack, Riverforest, Illinois.

5:10

So here is Molly's submission to

5:12

Thanks for being here. News flash,

5:14

life is not a race. You

5:16

really don't want to reach the

5:18

finish line before everyone else. Inelectually,

5:21

we all know this, but do

5:23

we live it? I know I

5:25

haven't. High school friends used to

5:27

tease me for Olympic-worthy speedwalking to

5:29

class. I graduated college a year

5:31

early since there was no point

5:33

in spending more time in Boulder,

5:35

Colorado, when I needed to get

5:37

on with my real life. Dear

5:40

reader, I now understand the absurdity

5:42

of that statement. I was young

5:44

and foolish. When there's more work

5:46

than reasonable, I'd paraphrase Warren Zeevan,

5:48

who paraphrased Benjamin Franklin, and tell

5:50

the team, you can sleep when

5:52

you're dead. Phone calls always go

5:54

to voicemail because who has time

5:56

for an unplanned chat. If someone

5:59

could read my aura, it would

6:01

probably say, I'm busy. You don't

6:03

need a psychology degree to understand

6:05

it. this mindset values productivity, output,

6:07

tangibles, pace, and bandwidth above all

6:09

else, as if the measure of

6:11

success is directly proportionate to the

6:13

number of items crossed off your

6:15

to-do list. It's a fast pace

6:18

to burnout and a tombstone that

6:20

might read, highly productive wife, mother,

6:22

and friend who finished life ahead

6:24

of the deadline. Pun intended. Recently

6:26

had an involuntary sabbatical, otherwise known

6:28

as short-term medical leave or as

6:30

I like to call it, a

6:32

surbatical. trademark pending. It was a

6:34

glass half full situation. The good

6:37

news, I was diagnosed with early

6:39

stage breast cancer that was caught

6:41

early. The bad news, it required

6:43

a mastectomy to have the best

6:45

chance of removing the cancer and

6:47

future risk. The result, about eight

6:49

weeks away from work to focus

6:51

only on myself and healing. For

6:53

someone who has worked or gone

6:56

to school five plus days a

6:58

week since age five, it was

7:00

daunting. But sometimes life gives you.

7:02

just what you need. I had

7:04

a chance to reflect a lot

7:06

before my time off and get

7:08

guidance from others who had been

7:10

through similar breast cancer treatments. Aside

7:12

from the irrational but totally understandable

7:15

fear of death during the eight-hour

7:17

surgery, my biggest concern was how

7:19

I would cope without the ability

7:21

to get done and be productive.

7:23

That's how I saw myself, my

7:25

identity, that fear taught me a

7:27

lot about how out of whack

7:29

my values were. But there's a

7:31

silver lining. After surgery and the

7:33

post-op limitations, I found that getting

7:36

out of the fast lane and

7:38

slowing down might finally teach me

7:40

what I had failed to learn

7:42

my whole adult life. Four things

7:44

the great slowdown taught me. Number

7:46

one, listen to yourself. Spend time

7:48

with yourself, by yourself, ideally in

7:50

quiet. Note what bubbles up when

7:52

you are not tied to a

7:55

due date, a task or someone

7:57

else's needs. What is your voice,

7:59

i.e. Your gut. heart, intuition, inner

8:01

genius, telling you. Where does it

8:03

want you to put your... It

8:05

can be hard to hear sometimes,

8:07

but you can turn up the

8:09

volume by journaling, talking to yourself

8:11

like a friendly observer, meditating, sitting

8:14

alone in the car, shower, closet,

8:16

or walking in the woods. But

8:18

it's a solo task because there

8:20

are a million voices trying to

8:22

drown out your own. The outside

8:24

noise fills up your social media

8:26

feed and clogs your email. It

8:28

may take over at work or

8:30

at home. Resist the urge to

8:33

put those voices before your own.

8:35

If you can, hit unsubscribe or

8:37

unf follow. Regularly establish boundaries by

8:39

incanting my all-time favorite phrase. Not

8:41

my monkey, not my circus. Ask

8:43

yourself, am I thinking doing this

8:45

because I chose to or because

8:47

someone else prompted me without my

8:49

permission and I was on autopilot?

8:52

My teenage son thinks I'm crazy

8:54

to listen to the radio when

8:56

I can pick exactly what I

8:58

want to hear on Spotify without

9:00

ads or annoying DJs. Your inner

9:02

voice should be the playlist you

9:04

pick, not what others program. But

9:06

you need to be quiet and

9:08

shut out the distractions to hear

9:11

it. Number two, pay attention. After

9:13

coming out of the post-surgery narcotic

9:15

days, I couldn't do much, but

9:17

without the distraction of busyness and

9:19

with an endless runway of time,

9:21

my ability to pay attention, mushroomed.

9:23

My conversations were more intentional. I

9:25

was completely awake, aware and in

9:27

the moment. I was noticing details

9:30

which would lead to moments of

9:32

serendipity. I was seeing signals I

9:34

had missed before. My curiosity grew

9:36

and new ideas were scribbled in

9:38

my notebook. I've done plenty of

9:40

yoga and meditations and subscribe to

9:42

all kinds of tactics to improve

9:44

mindfulness. But the notion of just

9:46

paying attention and noticing opened up

9:49

another dimension. If it's something you

9:51

want to work on and need

9:53

a place to start, try forest

9:55

bathing. Also called Shinrin Yoku. In

9:57

Yes No, Mary Oliver, my favorite

9:59

poet. Ends with this lesson, to pay

10:01

attention. This is our end lesson proper

10:04

work. I'm not sure about the meaning

10:06

of life, but this one hits me right

10:08

in the gut. Along with her instructions

10:10

for living a life. I was

10:13

recently at dinner with several

10:15

University of Chicago students and

10:17

my son who gave us a discussion prompt.

10:19

What's your life lesson? The answers were

10:21

all wise, but one stood out. It was

10:24

simply, listen. Number three, connect for

10:26

no reason. At the start of 2023, I

10:29

launched a personal project to connect with

10:31

a new old friend each week, simply

10:33

to tell them that I'm thinking of them

10:35

and that they've had an impact on my

10:37

life. I didn't know what it would bring,

10:39

but it seemed like a low-stakes challenge

10:41

and could be a nostalgic walk down

10:43

memory lane. Week one was my high school

10:45

English teacher who had offered sage advice

10:47

for navigating the transition from teenage angst

10:50

to college student angst. It took a

10:52

while to find her, but when I did she

10:54

lived up to my memories to my memories. In

10:56

our email exchange, she said, I

10:59

plan to find something uncommonly special

11:01

about each day, promising myself

11:03

that there would be no ordinary

11:05

days in 2023. Ever since, I have

11:07

captured one extraordinary moment in

11:09

my journal each day. Week

11:11

two was a college roommate. I wished her

11:14

a happy birthday and shared what I

11:16

admired about her. It would be my

11:18

last communication with her, as she

11:20

suddenly passed away eight months later.

11:22

I'll admit that some weeks fared

11:24

better than others, but what it, and

11:26

being open about my diagnosis, spawned was

11:29

a flood of reunions with people I

11:31

had long lost touch with. Each one,

11:33

whether an email, a text, a phone call, or

11:35

a lunch date, was a gift and an

11:37

epiphany. It reminded me that human

11:40

connection and sharing with each other

11:42

is the secret sauce of humanity.

11:44

We are each unique gifts to the world,

11:46

and gifts are meant to be shared.

11:49

Sending a message as a simple

11:51

act don't underestimate the market will leave.

11:53

One piece of proof, two old friends

11:55

whom I had not yet contacted

11:57

during my old friend project, reached

11:59

out and... spontaneously shared old

12:01

letters I had written them 30 plus

12:03

years ago that were tucked away in

12:06

closets and boxes. I cringed listening

12:08

to my sixth grade self decades

12:10

later, but the message was loud

12:12

and clear. Connections matter. You

12:14

never know how much. Number four, embrace

12:16

your inner tortoise. Asap wrote

12:18

the infamous fable about the tortoise and

12:20

the hare in the fourth century BCE.

12:23

And we all likely know the moral of

12:25

the story and the winner of the winner

12:27

of the race. Over the past few months,

12:29

I've had to channel my inner

12:31

tortoise and accept that slow winds.

12:33

Unless you're an ambulance driver

12:36

or Shikari Richardson, slowing down might

12:38

be the ticket to something greater.

12:40

For me, slowing down helped me tune in

12:43

and hear my own voice. Notice the

12:45

things and people around me in a

12:47

different way and connect just for the joy

12:49

of it. If you're speeding, you simply

12:51

can't catch all the signals life is

12:54

throwing your way. For me, it was

12:56

the key that unlocked everything else. and

12:58

in a surprise twist it didn't

13:00

make me any less productive. Take

13:02

time for the one you love, aka

13:04

you. According to the Society of

13:07

Human Resource Management, as of

13:09

2019, only 16% of companies

13:11

offered sabbaticals, and only 5%

13:13

were paid. So taking time away

13:15

from work purely for yourself

13:17

is not something everyone can

13:19

do, and I don't recommend

13:21

waiting for a medical reason.

13:23

But you can find and protect pockets

13:26

of time that don't have an

13:28

output attached to them. You can

13:30

purposely slow down and fine-tune

13:32

your attention skills. And connecting and

13:34

sharing the amazing gift of you

13:36

with others might just fill up your

13:39

energy tank and theirs. I'm writing this

13:41

on the eve of returning to work.

13:43

So, these haven't all been road tested.

13:45

But even if I fail at living

13:47

up to all the lessons all the time,

13:49

I did succeed at the most important

13:52

part of my surbatical. I

13:54

conquered cancer. Molly, I'm

13:56

so happy that you are

13:59

healthy. again. Thank you for sharing

14:01

this and thanks to everybody for listening,

14:03

for reading and reviewing the podcast. To

14:06

everyone who is listening, who has boobs,

14:08

I would say, stay up to date

14:10

on your mammograms. All right, everybody. We'll

14:13

be back on Tuesday with another Kelly

14:15

Corrigan wonders and then again on Friday

14:17

with another go-to.