0:00

We also on Fridays like to get to the stories

0:02

we couldn't get to earlier in the week, because, I mean,

0:04

let's be out, there was a lot going on.

0:06

There's so much.

0:07

Have you ever heard Conway's five o'clock hour?

0:10

Uh, you mean the five oh five? The five oh five?

0:13

Is that what he calls it? The five oh five? Because we lack a five oh five freeway?

0:16

Here?

0:16

Is there a five oh five up in Washington? No,

0:19

not that I know of. Huh.

0:21

Anyway, Conway does this five oh five round up of

0:25

stories at five five? Yeah, and also are the ones

0:28

that fell through you exactly exactly? So, uh, that's our

0:32

version of the five oh.

0:33

Five, and it's uh, twelve forty three. Here's your honorable mention,

0:37

honorable mention, not supposed to mention, not to mention. It's

0:45

been an honor serving with you.

0:46

A.

0:49

Great and honorable most is.

0:51

So today we're holding auditions to become the nearest member

0:54

of honorable mention.

0:55

This is I don't know, I feel bad calling it

0:58

a bit of Darwinism.

1:00

But how would you not know?

1:02

This guy had his black Honda Civic stolen from him

1:07

and he wanted to replace it, and he spent twenty

1:11

grand buying a car that looked just like it. It

1:15

looked so much like it, it was it.

1:19

It was a specific black Honda Civic Type R twenty sixteen.

1:25

He found an identical one seventy miles away. Not only

1:28

did he buy it, he realized that his address was

1:32

in the navigation system already, like it had already been

1:35

plugged in.

1:36

Yeah he had. His stuff was still in the car

1:39

as well. What a dumbass. Here's number nine at number nine,

1:44

I did.

1:45

Ninth places if a cocky dirty nine times out of

1:47

tennis partner's dirty two and.

1:49

I speak nine languages yet right, basically everybody at table nning.

1:53

I'd feel ready to go into the nine and niner?

1:56

Did I catch a niner in there?

1:57

Were?

1:58

You're calling from Alwalkie talking.

1:59

They tell you that when you drive a car off

2:02

the lot, it automatically loses thirty percent of its value

2:06

or whatever it is. And we've seen stories like this

2:09

where people drive brand new cars off the lot and

2:13

then get into some horrific wreck and total their vehicle.

2:15

It's one thing if it's you know, a toy camera,

2:20

yeah right, It's another thing.

2:22

If it's a Ferrari four fifty eight.

2:24

Spider Man in Japan left heartbroken after his brand new

2:30

Ferrari burnt to a crisp an hour after it was delivered.

2:34

He had spent a decade saving up money to buy

2:37

the luxury car and only enjoyed it for a few

2:41

minutes before its engine caught fire.

2:43

A Ferrari five forty eight costs about forty three million yen.

2:47

How much is that forty three million old? Is it

2:51

really forty three million yen?

2:54

Yeah? I don't know how much. I have not been

2:56

googling it. It's about three hundred thousand dollars. Sure, here's

3:01

number eight.

3:10

A Clive is bold every eight.

3:12

Second listening to eight different bosses drawn on about mission statements.

3:18

I have a question. Italy has unveiled a sex room

3:23

for prisoners. A court ruled that those who are incarcerated

3:27

do have a right to quote intimate meetings. The Consummation

3:32

Chamber was christened last week in a prison in the

3:35

city at Tourney in the Central Region. There, an inmates

3:39

female partner was permitted to enter, they said the The

3:43

Ombudsmen for Prisoner's Rights said the erotic experiment was so

3:47

successful they're already planning more conjugal visits.

3:51

What does that mean that it is people.

3:53

Wanted to have sex in the sex room when they

3:55

were locked up.

3:56

Strange, isn't it The guys who are locked up would

3:59

want to have sex.

4:01

Number seven, the seventh son of the seventh son. We're

4:07

on with seven days with the government sec. Seven seven

4:11

a seven years of college down to drain seven seven

4:16

seven days. I don't like this.

4:20

Thousands of humanoid robots ran alongside actual humans in a

4:26

half marathon in China.

4:28

Not only can they take their job our jobs, they

4:31

can run faster than.

4:33

A car, they said. Flesh and blood participants followed some

4:36

conventional rules. The twenty teams that fielded robots in the

4:39

Humanoid Robot half marathon had very specific guidelines, which included

4:44

battery swap pit stops.

4:48

They said.

4:49

The fastest robot crossed the line in two hours, forty

4:54

minutes and forty two seconds, which isn't very fast. I

4:57

would beat that robot. I mean my best half marathon.

5:01

Maybe not today, but in my best half marathon, I

5:04

could beat a robot.

5:05

Number six. I got six, you got six, she got six.

5:09

Number six.

5:10

There's six more weeks of later by picture of me

5:12

a rabbi and six drunk and longshomy.

5:14

We just dig in a nursing home closer to us. I don't have to dive stake that drink another six track.

5:20

They're coming for us. Not only are the robots doing

5:22

the half marathon. Australian radio station used an AI generated

5:27

host for six months without telling anybody.

5:30

It was on the iHeartRadio app. Oh we could have

5:32

listened in. I didn't realize that.

5:34

No, no, no, you're not You're not picking up what I'm putting down here? What do you mean, Well, it's our

5:38

company that's using AI hosts.

5:41

The writing is on the wall.

5:42

They created a host called Thy using AI software developed

5:47

by voice cloning from a voice cloning company called eleven Labs.

5:51

DIY is a she uh.

5:53

The Work Days with Thy show presented music for four

5:56

hours every day Monday to Friday, but did not mention

5:58

on its website or any promotional material that they.

6:01

Was actually a computer.

6:03

I gotta say, I like my AI Spotify DJ.

6:09

I like like he does. He says that introduces songs

6:13

and like this is.

6:14

Some stuff you were into like a year ago. Let's

6:17

dive in see if you still like it calming. I

6:20

like it is Jay Shatty real, No, that's not Jay Shatty.

6:24

Different guy is.

6:26

How do you know? Because I listened to him every day. Listen.

6:29

I saw him a Spotify robot thing too. You can't

6:32

believe what you see on the news. Here's number five five.

6:38

I have five minutes, five monkeys. This is the year

6:43

five point five would be a favorite. Lose five pounds immediately.

6:49

Do you ever want to smell an armpit that wasn't yours? Well,

6:52

now you can stop and smell the armpits in New.

6:56

York with a pit stop. That's right.

6:59

There are posters going up for a scratch and sniff experience.

7:03

There is a giant armpit on the street there where

7:09

you can get a scent of a new deodorant. It's

7:12

called Cocoa Va All Day deodorant. And this is on

7:17

Eighth Avenue near Penn Station. Other locations throughout the city

7:20

as well. But you can kind of scratch and sniff them giant armpits. My deodorant is coconut great. What is

7:27

your smell? Like?

7:29

I have no idea, you don't know. I go for

7:31

the least scented. I don't need a lot of perfumes

7:35

eat out. I don't now do you put on any perfumes?

7:39

I do have a piece or a bottle of cologne?

7:44

Ah uh, single bottle? What color? I mean, what kind

7:47

is it? I have no idea, it's whatever my wife got.

7:50

What do you put? When do you put it on? If we're going out? Oh?

7:54

And do you put like just one little spray? Or

7:57

do you do like one here? One here, one here?

8:00

Doubts it? Yeah?

8:01

Yeah, I wanted to be announced that I'm about to

8:05

walk into the room. Still the whole car with that

8:07

sent Yeah. Yeah, like a teenage boy. There's number four.

8:11

Poor minute is probably on his fourth tranquilizer by now,

8:15

number four. This isn't the same world you left four

8:18

years most.

8:21

I can't remember the last time one of these was real.

8:24

A restaurant in Sydney, Australia has apologized after a customer

8:28

posted an online review claiming she found a dead rat

8:32

in her meal.

8:33

It's not even a question. I mean that's a rat.

8:35

A rat.

8:36

That rat just left us moments ago. I mean that

8:39

is a good rat. Yeah, she planted the rat. Come on,

8:44

you don't just a rat just doesn't turn up. In

8:46

your salad.

8:47

The woman's friend posted a review and said they didn't

8:51

even think I should be giving a star considering what happened.

8:54

My pregnant friend and I were having lunch today and

8:57

her small salad was a disgusting, feral dead rat that

9:01

was underneath the salad. Again, I don't remember the last

9:05

time one of these was proven to be true. Remember

9:08

the woman in Vegas, this would have been close to

9:10

fifteen years ago now, who said she found a finger

9:13

in her chili.

9:14

Yeah, something like that. Oh, are never true. Stupid. That

9:18

is such a stupid word. Here's number three. Three shall

9:22

be the number knockout count, and the number of the

9:24

counting shall be three. Play were dead within three hours.

9:27

Three security clearance level three, all three of the three.

9:32

I got all three of you guys for the rest of your nat being born live. After that three days,

9:36

they both start to stink. Three.

9:38

So you may have seen the video of Brendan Patrick,

9:41

Mason and a teenage friend of theirs riding their horses

9:46

in a small town Walmart in Louisiana. Well, all three

9:50

of those guys are going to be facing multiple charges.

9:53

A video taken by a Walmart employee showed these guys

9:56

on their horses entering the store, hanging around a little

9:59

so check out area for about twenty seconds, and then

10:02

heading toward the back of the store. One of them

10:04

was seen holding up his phone filming the whole thing.

10:08

They said that they it's illegal in Louisiana to post

10:11

a video or livestream of crime to gain notoriety or publicity,

10:17

which is where the charge for the unlawful post of

10:20

criminal activity comes from. That they were going to be charged.

10:23

Is that Shatara out there? Why No, I'm just gonna

10:26

like give a shout out. I mean it.

10:28

People are crapped on all the time, right, It's kind

10:32

of like husbands with Wi Fi, Like if the Wi

10:34

Fi if something's going wrong, you're yelling for him. It's

10:38

a whole thing. Rarely do you hear about somebody doing

10:42

a great job or something working. And this morning my

10:46

laptop was not working and so Dave Shata from our

10:49

ID department comes in and he fixes it like that,

10:52

soundlessly quickly like that no complaints, And that's incredible to

10:57

fix something that quickly, and what a thankless job. So

11:03

you yes, But I'm just saying, like I don't think

11:06

the it departments in this world get enough love. I mean,

11:11

I'm sure those guys clean up, you know, in that department,

11:15

But I mean around here, you know, not enough people

11:20

say thank you so.

11:24

Well to all it guys. Yeah, this bud's for you.

11:30

Here's number two.

11:31

What's going on?

11:32

You weep?

11:37

There's two sons and no women.

11:42

Probably thirty years since I've said the words by you tapestry.

11:46

I thought you were gonna say, since you've said the words extra penis No, I said that the other day.

11:51

You did in what context?

11:52

I don't even remember. I just say it all the time.

11:55

It's like bonus points. There are questions about the mysteries

12:01

in the Bayou Tapestry, the eleventh century depiction of the

12:05

Norman Conquest. Sure, we don't know who did it, we

12:08

don't know who asked them to make it. But a

12:10

thousand years on from the Battle of Hastings, Oxford academic

12:15

professor George Garnett claims to have identified ninety three depictions

12:19

of male genitalia.

12:20

Again, a lot of genitalia in the museums. They loved

12:24

to go full frontal with the genitalia.

12:27

It's just right there and everything.

12:28

Most of them were human genitalia. No, I'm sorry. Most

12:33

of them were horse genita. Eighty eight of them belonged

12:36

to horses. Five of them were on soldiers.

12:38

When I was working with John and Ken, I went

12:40

to Italy and in every museum I went to, when

12:44

I saw genitals, I would take a picture of it

12:46

and then send it to them John and Ken and

12:49

said things like thinking of you, because you know they

12:52

talk about that stuff all the time. They used to.

12:54

It'd be weird.

12:56

It was funny. No, I mean they had a penis

13:01

desk at one point. I think I think it was

13:03

a naked desk. Oh right, right, I mean I guess

13:06

would Yeah, yeah, you're right, it wasn't naked.

13:08

The most interesting thing about the extra penis in the

13:11

bio tapestry is that this doctor, Christopher Monk, medieval scholar,

13:15

believes that he found one the five original human genitalia

13:20

are attached to naked figures on the bio tapestry. They said,

13:23

in this one, it's actually hanging below his tunic.

13:27

Wow, good job. Yeah, like he had a lot to

13:31

do with it. I was talking to God. Oh right,

13:34

of course.

13:35

Number one weird, number one.

13:38

Number one, we're number one then one number one, row

13:44

number one, number one, number one.

13:47

All right, Uh, this is a little PSA as we

13:51

move into the weekend, do not reenact the Crucifixion.

13:55

Be careful if you're gonna do it. There's a reason

13:58

why it killed p for.

14:00

Crying out loud and I thought you were gonna say

14:03

the other one, but it was two on the nose.

14:05

Eighty four year old guy critically injured after he fell

14:07

off of the cross during a Crucifixion reenactment in West Virginia.

14:11

Here's a fun fact. The guy reenacting the crucifix who

14:15

fell off the cross eighty four years old.

14:19

He was participating in the reenactment with a Vandalia community

14:22

Christian Church. He fell ten feet from one of the

14:25

crosses and had to be flown to an emergency facility.

14:28

A fall from your feet when you're eighty four will

14:31

kill you.

14:31

A fall from the cross broken ribs.

14:35

Yeah, they said he's doing much better since he was

14:38

first hospitalized.

14:39

But man eighty four years old.

14:42

They now say his injuries are not life threatening and

14:45

no word on what caused the man to fall from

14:48

the cross like.

14:50

Gravity.

14:51

My brother was Jesus in the Easter celebration at the

14:54

church on the cross, but they didn't.

14:55

Like hoist the cross up. They just had it like they had it.

14:58

In the middle of the church, kind of like leaning

15:00

against people were holding it up, and my brother was just.

15:03

Kind of did he lay on it? Did he cross

15:06

his arms like that?

15:07

I don't.

15:07

That's not how you put him up on a rescue thing.

15:12

It's like if I'm going to take an airflight.

15:13

To be rescued, it's like you're jumping out of the

15:15

airplane onto the inflatable slide.