0:02

Kikpod acknowledges the traditional

0:04

owners and custodians of the

0:06

land in which we're recording

0:09

this podcast. The Yulikut Wulan

0:11

clan of the Boomerong who

0:13

are a part of the

0:15

Kulin Nation. We pay our

0:17

respects to our elders, past

0:19

and present and extend our

0:21

respect to Aboriginal and Torres

0:24

Strait Islander peoples today. Welcome

0:26

to the Kickod! A D&M

0:28

with your besties on the

0:30

stuff that matters. Hello.

0:37

Hi. My heavily pregnant friend. Hello.

0:39

Is it crazy to you that

0:41

this today is when this episode

0:43

comes out is the 31st of

0:45

March. Yes. Which means the next

0:47

month is April. Obviously, da. The

0:49

month after that is May. And

0:51

that is when you are due.

0:53

Yes. Is that just crazy? It

0:55

is crazy. It is crazy. I'm

0:57

I'm in denial because to be

0:59

honest. Like obviously I know you're

1:01

going on Matley. Yeah. And I'm

1:04

very excited for you. But also

1:06

I'm like. Well, no, it's not

1:08

happening, but it will be. So... I

1:10

will be in denial on a scene

1:13

until you give birth. And then I'll

1:15

be like, where's... Where is she? Just

1:17

coming into it? No. She is not.

1:20

No, it's honestly flying. It's going so,

1:22

so much faster than the first time,

1:24

which a lot of people say. I

1:27

think you just have a less time

1:29

to focus on it. Yeah. Your

1:31

life is just moving. It is and I

1:33

feel like too because you were showing quite early this

1:35

time like also the second time you show earlier it

1:38

hasn't felt like you went from not to I just

1:40

feel like you've been totally yeah your belly

1:42

has grown obviously but I feel like

1:44

it hasn't grown last time I would

1:46

fear it went from small to huge

1:48

yeah this time I just feel like

1:50

you like just getting gradually yeah and

1:53

I told so many of like our

1:55

loved ones and family like we told

1:57

so many people earlier this time because

1:59

we were able to whereas last time

2:01

because of lockdown a lot of lockdown

2:03

a lot of our friends didn't find

2:05

out till we hit second trimester. Just

2:08

because it happened to be the weekend

2:10

that we were also allowed to visit

2:12

parks together? Oh goodness me. But again,

2:14

I still feel like you've been pregnant

2:16

for five seconds. I will stand by

2:18

that. How are you Steffi? I have

2:20

been better. I think I'm very irritated.

2:23

Which annoys me because usually in these

2:25

mornings, like I'm really excited. It's a

2:27

Friday I love recording the podcast and

2:29

I'm happy to be here, but

2:31

I'm irritated because There's just been

2:33

some stuff online the last week

2:35

or so That I've come across

2:37

That I haven't really wanted to

2:39

come across but has either been

2:41

sent to me or I've been

2:44

notified somehow So it's been hard

2:46

to ignore And I'm generally pretty

2:48

good at, as you know, laws,

2:50

and like, I think I've mentioned

2:52

on the podcast before, I don't

2:54

even look at our reviews for

2:56

this podcast. Sorry, guys. Anything? If

2:58

you want to leave us a

3:00

nice line, I'll read it. And

3:02

honestly, you do. And if Lindsay

3:04

Laura, anyone ever comes across nice

3:06

or constructive even, like, it does

3:08

get brought up to us. But

3:10

I purposely don't, because there is

3:13

people who just... love to have

3:15

a really strong opinion that I'm

3:17

never going to be able to change

3:19

their opinion and sometimes they're so personal

3:21

that I'm like what was the point

3:24

of me reading this like really nothing

3:26

other than making me feel shit. Yeah

3:28

and so there's things that I purposely

3:31

avoid but sometimes you can't and there's

3:33

been a couple of threads lately about

3:35

a few things that are quite

3:37

personal to me. One of the main ones

3:39

being my parenting or the way that

3:42

I'm showing up online as a

3:44

parent and it's just it's pissed me

3:46

off because once again I feel

3:48

like I don't know how many times

3:50

that I would need to bring this

3:52

up or like that we've spoken about

3:55

this but at the end of the

3:57

day people online even people

3:59

with platform, if it's their

4:01

personal brand and their personal platform,

4:03

at the end of the day

4:05

it's up to them what they

4:08

post, right? And then you, the

4:10

follower or the person bypasser, have

4:12

the option to not follow and

4:14

not engage in the content if it's

4:16

not what you like. That is the

4:18

power that you have, right? But I

4:20

still think that people are stuck in

4:23

this idea, especially if they followed

4:25

someone for a while and phases

4:27

change, that... they want to control

4:29

what that person is posting

4:31

about. And I'm not saying people

4:33

can't have opinions. There is

4:35

a difference between having an

4:37

opinion and outwardly sharing it

4:40

in a direct way to impact

4:42

that person. And lately the opinions

4:44

that have been shared have been

4:46

very direct and I haven't felt

4:48

like they've been entirely fair. And

4:50

one in particular... that I'm getting

4:52

so frustrated of is the opinion

4:54

of how I show up, how

4:56

I share motherhood stories or how

4:58

I share Harvey. There's been a

5:00

thread that has basically said that

5:02

it's a bit of a joke that

5:04

I've started covering his face over the

5:07

last year because I hadn't in the

5:09

start. Now I've mentioned this before, people

5:11

can change their mind and people can

5:13

do that. Parents have the right to change

5:15

their mind in how they're showing their

5:17

family online. And that's what we

5:19

did. And I acknowledge that there's a

5:22

lot of content of him up from

5:24

when he was two and younger, but

5:26

it's still a decision that's up

5:28

to us. And so, but then when

5:30

I was taking him offline, I was

5:32

thinking, how can I still share my

5:34

motherhood journey and how can I still

5:37

share Harvey because he is a huge

5:39

part of my life. When I am not a

5:41

kick, really, I'm a mom all the time. But

5:43

my life is revolved around him and it

5:45

would feel like I wasn't sharing a huge

5:47

part of my life, which for me is

5:49

just not how I show up online. I

5:51

show up online as my true 100% authentic

5:54

self with my life. I always have. And

5:56

so I try and find ways of still

5:58

being able to share those moments. but not

6:00

Sherry's face. Now lately I have probably

6:02

shown more of the, you know, I've

6:05

had some hard times with his sleep

6:07

or I'm worried about us moving and

6:09

like how that's going to affect him

6:12

and this thread was basically saying that

6:14

I obviously don't like being a mom

6:16

and that I don't know how good

6:19

I've got it and that there is

6:21

so many moms that are worse off

6:23

and that I need to stop complaining

6:26

and all of this stuff. I totally

6:28

know how good I've got it with

6:30

the support that I have. The village

6:32

that we have around us that helps

6:35

us look after Harvey, the fact that

6:37

I have, my partner is so bloody

6:39

supportive and a stay-at-home parent, allowing me

6:42

to do what we do. I feel

6:44

like I acknowledge that a lot. I

6:46

don't feel like I need to acknowledge

6:49

that every single time I have something

6:51

to vent about. And they also compared

6:53

me to a good friend of my

6:56

angadee, right? who recently has opened up

6:58

about a few things she's been struggling

7:00

with, but she's always backing it up

7:02

with, but I'm so happy, I love

7:05

my son, and I get it, because

7:07

I've gone through stages where I've felt

7:09

like I have to justify that every

7:11

single time I'm complaining about. Complaining seems

7:14

a bit harsh, but seriously, just venting

7:16

about parenthood, I felt like I had

7:18

to be like, but I love him,

7:20

and I love this life. I don't

7:23

feel any more that I need to

7:25

justify that. Like, he's my world. He's

7:27

my entire world. I don't feel like

7:30

I need to justify that to strangers.

7:32

And at the end of the day,

7:34

it's important for me to show both

7:36

sides of motherhood. So then the other

7:39

day, I posted something positive, a really

7:41

fun afternoon I had with him, and

7:43

just covered his face is covered anyway.

7:45

that this was obviously me just trying

7:48

to show that I actually enjoy it

7:50

or whatever and it's like it just

7:52

reminds me of you can't fucking win.

7:55

Like you really can't win and some

7:57

people are always going to have a

7:59

strong opinion of what you post and

8:01

I feel like having breathed. I'm trying

8:04

to get all this out because I'm

8:06

so angry. But I just wanted to

8:08

say I'm really fucking over it and

8:10

I'm going to continue to post like

8:13

what comes most naturally to me and

8:15

I just can't say it enough if

8:17

you don't like that. I don't want

8:20

you following me. Like I don't need

8:22

you following me if you don't like

8:24

what I post. I'd rather you follow

8:26

me than comment and start threads about

8:29

how bad what I post is. And

8:31

that's just my blah blah blah blah

8:33

blah. But the other reason I'm frustrated

8:35

is that really the fact that these

8:38

threads exist at all. And Josh, it's

8:40

really interesting. Like I love him for

8:42

this and I love that he didn't

8:45

know that these threads. exist online. But

8:47

he came across one too and it

8:49

started with a few laughable comments and

8:51

then he started to read some stuff

8:54

where they were saying really horrible stuff

8:56

about him and about our relationship and

8:58

he was really rocked by it. Like

9:01

all day yesterday he was really rocked

9:03

by it. He was really rocked by

9:05

it. He couldn't stop bringing it up.

9:07

He couldn't stop thinking about it. And

9:10

I'd said to him, I know, I

9:12

know how, how shit it is. And

9:14

like, I do everything I can to

9:16

avoid this and I really need you

9:19

to too, not just for you, but

9:21

for me as well, because like when

9:23

you bring it up, it then makes

9:26

me think about it too. And yeah,

9:28

he just couldn't, he couldn't fathom a

9:30

world where there is threads like this

9:32

where you just go and basically hate

9:35

on people. And it's like, I just

9:37

I don't understand the point of it.

9:39

I don't understand the point of a

9:41

threat or a community binding together to

9:44

hate on someone basically. And so that

9:46

is my rant. That is why I'm

9:48

feeling a little agitated this. morning and

9:51

that is all. And fair enough and

9:53

I think as well there's a lot

9:55

in here. So I want to start

9:57

by saying everyone we actually hadn't planned

10:00

this segment. No. And as because you

10:02

know we're planned peeps here. We have

10:04

peeps. Who says peeps? It's okay. Who

10:06

says peeps? Me? In 17 when I

10:09

was 17 like sorry. Okay everyone and

10:11

we spoke about do we have this

10:13

conversation on the podcast and on the

10:16

mic? Yeah, because we know that everyone

10:18

listening to this podcast I We spoke

10:20

about it. We're like do we think

10:22

people hate listen to this podcast? And

10:25

I personally don't think people hate listen

10:27

to podcast. I do think people hate

10:29

follow. Yeah, like on on Instagram or

10:32

TikTok or whatever, but I don't think

10:34

people hate listen because I just think

10:36

If you really don't like someone listening

10:38

to them for 30 to 45, 60

10:41

minutes talking, exactly. So I think I

10:43

wanted to start with that because we

10:45

know and I know in the way

10:47

you're talking, Steph, the listeners, it's not

10:50

to the community that doesn't even accept

10:52

us and also like know us and

10:54

have the context. Because I think that's

10:57

the thing, these judgments come from people

10:59

that don't, that always happens. Like anytime

11:01

someone, I often find some with a

11:03

really personal attack. They haven't read anything.

11:06

They've just seen the headline or like

11:08

one post and then they make a

11:10

huge judgment on your life. They don't

11:12

take the time of course to invest

11:15

the time to actually, hey I'm going

11:17

to understand this person before I make

11:19

a judgment. Obviously making judgment is a

11:22

big problem with that. But I just

11:24

wanted to say that as well. And

11:26

so we thought about like do we

11:28

talk about this because... One thing that

11:31

I find difficult in talking about, especially

11:33

these really toxic gossip threads, is do

11:35

we want to give them oxygen? I

11:37

know. I know. Because they want to

11:40

hurt you, right? Like that's and me,

11:42

and that's why they do these threads,

11:44

because I'm sure they hope that you

11:47

read it and in May. you feel

11:49

like shit and you hear their opinion,

11:51

which is, you know, so important to

11:53

them. But I think what it comes

11:56

back to you, like, in particular, now,

11:58

there's a few things. Number one, sometimes

12:00

we do judge people and we have

12:02

those thoughts and we, they, now while

12:05

I don't think that's always a good

12:07

thing, it is human. And sometimes that

12:09

happens. Keep it in, sorry to swear,

12:12

but your fucking group chat. So I

12:14

think that's one thing. And then the

12:16

second thing is, with these threads, one

12:18

of my biggest learnings to date, and

12:21

this is also something I've had to

12:23

reflect on within myself, because as I

12:25

said, we judge people, like that's something

12:28

that just unfortunately is like in our

12:30

subconscious sometimes we do it, you have

12:32

to stop yourself from doing it. When

12:34

you feel... resentment enough and often the

12:37

people that are writing this stuff like

12:39

this really toxic shit like they have

12:41

a lot of resentment built up about

12:43

it for example in this situation about

12:46

you and Josh right what happens when

12:48

you and we see this I've seen

12:50

this a lot in many areas of

12:53

my life is when people connect on

12:55

hating people It's a very, very shallow

12:57

relationship because they have nothing in common.

12:59

What they have in common is that

13:02

they hate people. And you can only

13:04

catch up and talk about how much

13:06

you hate someone so many times before

13:08

you sit there and it starts to

13:11

feel uncomfortable in your body and you're

13:13

like, this feels very shallow and you

13:15

feel it. You know it's not like

13:18

something's wrong right. So within, and then

13:20

when we go to these specific gossip

13:22

forums, what people write in those forums

13:24

says more about them than it says

13:27

about the person they're talking to. And

13:29

so I think my message to all

13:31

of those trolls is, in your body,

13:33

like your body, there's a book called

13:36

Your Body Keep score. It is, I

13:38

highly recommend reading it, it's very long,

13:40

and the words are really small, so

13:43

it's actually longer than you think it

13:45

is, because they fit like two pages

13:47

into one. But that, I truly wholeheartedly

13:49

believe. that feeling for when you're typing

13:52

being a keyboard warrior or whatever you

13:54

don't share on your platform that you

13:56

have control and what you do and

13:59

what you don't share on your platform

14:01

that you own that you have control

14:03

over that they don't need to follow

14:05

or see right that feeling for when

14:08

you're typing being a keyboard warrior or

14:10

whatever you want to call it That

14:12

resentment, that builds up in your body.

14:14

And there is probably, what you need

14:17

to do is look at why am

14:19

I angry at Steph for the way

14:21

she's done this? Like why am I

14:24

angry at Steph for the fact that

14:26

she stopped sharing Harvey and I can

14:28

still find photos of the internet of

14:30

him from 12 months ago and if

14:33

I really stalk her dad? Yeah. I

14:35

can find, because honestly, like, love Russ,

14:37

but probably just didn't realize that as

14:39

he had. He had no idea. He

14:42

was, his Facebook was sharing to Instagram

14:44

to Instagram. all of those things like

14:46

when you actually think about it like

14:49

they are irrelevant to your life and

14:51

what you need to look at if

14:53

that is angering you is go deep

14:55

within and ask yourself why is this

14:58

triggering me and it is not to

15:00

do I promise you trolls it is

15:02

not to do with Steph it is

15:04

to do with you and it might

15:07

be that they maybe started sharing their

15:09

child online or didn't and they feel

15:11

very passionate about that. But they felt

15:14

like they couldn't make their own decision

15:16

or maybe they feel like they can't

15:18

change their mind or they can't live

15:20

their life for them. Whatever it is,

15:23

it's like... it is going to be

15:25

within them. And so I think that's

15:27

my message to the trolls, in that

15:29

you are literally, what you are doing

15:32

to yourself inside, the way it is

15:34

making you feel, the way it is

15:36

consuming you. Like that is such a

15:39

hard way to live life. I know.

15:41

Anyway, so that's just like shaken, shaken

15:43

bacon, shaken off. I just, yeah, it's

15:45

been on my mind since yesterday and

15:48

as Lord said, I wasn't planning on

15:50

bringing it up. But I think these

15:52

things it's it's normal and natural for

15:55

them to affect us as well And

15:57

as thick as my skin has gotten

15:59

over the 13 years of having a

16:01

public profile, it still can really get

16:04

to me, especially when they're talking about

16:06

something so personal. So yeah, if anyone

16:08

else is listening to, because unfortunately I

16:10

have friends who are constantly in threads

16:13

like this, and I know how much

16:15

it affects them. And I know that

16:17

these threads, unfortunately, which is why it's

16:20

so... shitty that you know such young

16:22

people are getting access to phones now.

16:24

These threads exist for people that are

16:26

not like they don't have thousands of

16:29

followers or anything like that like it's

16:31

unfortunately happening in high school so yeah

16:33

all my love if you've ever been

16:35

I suppose a victim to like those

16:38

kind of gossip threads just know that

16:40

it's more of a reflection on them

16:42

than it is you. Stephanie, yes, we

16:45

have got a listener question in that

16:47

I think a lot of people will

16:49

relate to. It's about sex, love. I

16:51

want to ask how long is too

16:54

long without sex in your four-year relationship?

16:56

Mmm, that is a good question. And

16:58

I think people, this has come through

17:00

a few times I believe, and I

17:03

think we've also... touched on this in

17:05

the past when either of us have

17:07

felt like we've questioned the dry spells

17:10

that we've gone through. But first of

17:12

all, before I kind of go into

17:14

a more personal side of this, I

17:16

do want to give a shout out

17:19

to Megan Luscombe who comes on quite

17:21

regularly as our relationship expert. She's an

17:23

amazing coach and I believe she said

17:26

this in the past. If it wasn't

17:28

on the podcast might have been directly

17:30

to me when I've been talking to

17:32

her about this stuff, but it's basically...

17:35

How long is too long or when's

17:37

an issue would come down to each

17:39

relationship in both your needs, if you

17:41

and your partner? And discussing that and

17:44

being open about that would be how

17:46

you work out if it's been too

17:48

long or if there's something that you

17:51

need to work through. It's very... different

17:53

for everyone because all of our needs

17:55

are different so I'll start there. But

17:57

then I'd love to say when it

18:00

comes to needs or sexual desire and

18:02

I've spoken about this in the podcast

18:04

before but Josh and I were at

18:06

very different levels when it comes to

18:09

how much we would desire or spontaneously

18:11

desire sex. And so there's been periods

18:13

of time where we have had... long

18:16

amounts of time without sex and long

18:18

long for us. What is long for

18:20

you? Well okay so pregnancy let's call

18:22

true this is different though but pregnancy

18:25

honestly the last two weeks we've had

18:27

sex a couple of times but before

18:29

the last couple of weeks it had

18:31

been a few months of nothing and

18:34

I'm sure that's pretty normal in pregnancy.

18:36

Things are different feels a bit uncomfortable

18:38

like can't do your usual positions. I

18:41

don't feel as sexy personally, but there's

18:43

still been moments where it has happened

18:45

for us and we've enjoyed that and

18:47

that's been nice. But yeah, there's been

18:50

longer times here and then throughout the

18:52

13 years that we've been together, there

18:54

has been times where I reckon it

18:56

probably would have raged like five weeks

18:59

or something like that. And for us,

19:01

that's a long time because if it

19:03

was up to Josh, we'd be having

19:06

sex multiple times in a week. So

19:08

I just want to start there because

19:10

when it has got to those points

19:12

we've had conversations about it. And I

19:15

think that's the most important thing. I

19:17

think it's awesome that you're reaching out

19:19

to us and we love that. And

19:22

we always want you guys to feel

19:24

comfortable reaching out to us, but I

19:26

think the person you should be reaching

19:28

out to is your partner. And if

19:31

you do feel like there's something going

19:33

on or you do feel like you

19:35

are wanting more sexual attention or whatever

19:37

it is. I think it's totally okay

19:40

to bring that up and that is

19:42

what Josh and I do when we

19:44

feel like we're in those spells. More

19:47

often than not it's Josh bringing it

19:49

up but ten times out of ten

19:51

I'm like I know like I've felt

19:53

it too and it just takes a

19:56

conversation of working through is it because

19:58

of us has got a lot of

20:00

things going on in our mind? Is

20:02

it, like, it's generally not actually come

20:05

down to, for us, actual sexual desire

20:07

or sexual attraction to one another. That

20:09

hasn't changed. It's, there's been other things

20:12

going on in our life, or maybe

20:14

one of us is not sleeping. And

20:16

so, the moment we get in the

20:18

bed, we do not want to do

20:21

anything but sleep, you know? But what

20:23

do you think? Oh, it's such a

20:25

good question. And I think too, I

20:27

think with this question, when they say

20:30

four years, I think within that it's

20:32

like a long-term relationship. And we've spoken

20:34

a lot about this with Megan, who

20:37

you referenced before, in terms of when

20:39

you compare in the risks of comparing

20:41

the kind of lust at the start

20:43

of a relationship with what it's actually

20:46

like to be in a longer term

20:48

relationship, like that... Yes, you can bring

20:50

the spontaneous, I can never say that

20:53

word spontaneity, spontaneity into the relationship. Yes,

20:55

you can, you know, spice it up

20:57

in ways, right? But it's not the

20:59

same because the mystery is completely gone,

21:02

right? And there's, and you want that

21:04

mystery to be gone because if you

21:06

want that mystery to be gone, because

21:08

if you are playing hard to get

21:11

with your long-term relationship, you want to

21:13

feel safe. So I think that's important

21:15

to acknowledge and I think what you

21:18

said staff around, I completely agree in

21:20

what is too long is what is

21:22

too long for you. Exactly. Because there

21:24

will be relationships as we've spoken about.

21:27

Like I do think it's very important

21:29

to connect with yourself sexually in some

21:31

way and connect with yourself and explore

21:33

if that's by yourself or with your

21:36

partner. I do think that's really really

21:38

important with like self-connection and you want

21:40

to feel good about yourself. You want

21:43

to feel that. But that can look

21:45

different for so many different people. And

21:47

you might both have low sex, like

21:49

desire, and that's completely fine. So I

21:52

think it's too long if one of

21:54

you is unhappy with the amount that

21:56

you are having sex, but also what's

21:58

really important is that you sit down,

22:01

you... you speak to each other about

22:03

what each other's needs are and you

22:05

work out a way to make that

22:08

work. I am sure it's it there

22:10

would be cases where if someone has

22:12

if there's a really big desire discrepancy

22:14

and one person just you know it

22:17

maybe doesn't want to have sex often

22:19

and the other one is something that's

22:21

very important to them then maybe that

22:23

would mean that you're not you know

22:26

right for each other right but in

22:28

most cases it's that I think we

22:30

get in our heads so I do

22:33

think with this question it's it could

22:35

be within your relationship you need to

22:37

have the conversation I think that's the

22:39

most important thing but it might not

22:42

actually be your partner putting pressure on

22:44

you it might actually be society putting

22:46

pressure on you because you feel like

22:49

oh my god we haven't had sex

22:51

for three weeks yeah I therefore am

22:53

there's something wrong with my relationship yeah

22:55

but there's only something wrong if you

22:58

feel that you need to have that

23:00

connection with your partner more often and

23:02

your partner often feels that like just

23:04

because you know people have sex X

23:07

times a way in their relationships, whatever

23:09

it is, it doesn't mean that that

23:11

has to be for you, and I

23:14

think, especially around sex, it often is,

23:16

I think, when we think of relationships,

23:18

and it's because sex was taboo for

23:20

such a long time and we just

23:23

need to keep obviously continually having these

23:25

conversations, but... I think it was like,

23:27

okay, if you look at the, especially

23:29

growing up, like what's a good relationship,

23:32

we have to have sex a lot.

23:34

Like that was literally something that like,

23:36

well, that's the number one most important

23:39

part of a relationship. And sure, for

23:41

some people that might be, but for

23:43

me it's not the most important part

23:45

of a relationship. And sure, for some

23:48

people that might be, but for me

23:50

it's not the most important part of

23:52

my partnership, there's things like vaginismus, like

23:54

there's experiences, and physical things within our

23:57

body. that could mean we don't enjoy

23:59

sex because we're in pain or we

24:01

have health conditions going on. There's so

24:04

many things and it's what works for

24:06

you that's what it comes down to.

24:08

And I think it's also it's not

24:10

the only way that you connect intimately

24:13

like that you know you might not

24:15

have had sex in two or three

24:17

weeks, but like were you cuddling on

24:20

the couch most nights watching a TV

24:22

or did you spoon each other when

24:24

you fell asleep? Like there's different ways

24:26

of connecting intimately as well. So again,

24:29

I think it really just comes down

24:31

to what like question asking yourself first

24:33

if you think it's a problem because

24:35

you're really really like desiring it and

24:38

you feel like your needs aren't being

24:40

met or do you think you should

24:42

be desiring it? or do you think

24:45

you should be doing more because maybe

24:47

you've spoken to someone who's like oh

24:49

my god haven't had sex in a

24:51

week like there's something wrong with us

24:54

we haven't had sex in a week

24:56

you know and you're talking to a

24:58

friend and you're like what the fuck

25:00

one week but that's their belief system

25:03

right you don't have to take that

25:05

on board exactly or society so I

25:07

totally agree laws and yeah hope you're

25:10

all hope you're all good and that

25:12

you're all good and that you're looking

25:14

for soon but we hope that we

25:16

helped you out today as well Steppy,

25:19

what have you got for us? So

25:21

mine's actually a kick workout workout. Because

25:23

I did it the other day, it

25:25

was when I was at work, I

25:28

have been really pulling back my exercise

25:30

lately. purposely and then also just because

25:32

we've been busy but where I can

25:35

I've still been trying to do little

25:37

bits here and there and we have

25:39

this wellness center at the Commons where

25:41

we are and so when I had

25:44

a long lunch break I was like

25:46

you know what I'm gonna go and

25:48

I'm gonna get a little platties work

25:50

out done because I'm in my leggings

25:53

and it felt so good and it

25:55

was one of my favorite classes that

25:57

I was doing when I was pregnant

26:00

with Harvey we filmed all this content

26:02

and Kikbump didn't actually launch until... after

26:04

he was born, but I was very

26:06

lucky obviously was the person in the

26:09

footage. I got to try it and

26:11

I also got to have access to

26:13

these workouts before they were actually not.

26:16

So it was one of my favorites

26:18

and it was actually a workout that

26:20

I revisited when I wasn't pregnant because

26:22

I liked it so much and I

26:25

was reminded of it the other day

26:27

when I was looking for. work out

26:29

to do with no equipment in the

26:31

commons. And it's called bump-friendly booty. So

26:34

it is a pregnancy-friendly Pilates class. It's

26:36

with me and Christina. And I found

26:38

it really funny as well working alongside

26:41

me being pregnant now, but then watching

26:43

me being pregnant, knowing Harvey was in

26:45

my belly, which was really sweet. But

26:47

anyway, for everyone listening, they're like, okay,

26:50

cool. It is a great. little Pilates

26:52

booty burn workout that regardless of whether

26:54

you're pregnant or not. Obviously if you're

26:56

pregnant it's pregnancy safe but if you're

26:59

not I think you'll you'll still really

27:01

enjoy it and if you do need

27:03

a bit of extra resistance Christina does

27:06

tell you to put ankle weights on

27:08

but I have never done it with

27:10

ankle weights because for me it's enough

27:12

of a burn without but it's just

27:15

my my recommendation today. Amazing. Thank you

27:17

for sharing that. Now, mine is, I'm

27:19

going to say a little bit heavier,

27:21

it is a, it's a show. It's

27:24

called Adolescence. Now, it's number one on,

27:26

it's on Netflix, it's I think it

27:28

went straight to number one, it is

27:31

everywhere. It's a four-part series. Now I

27:33

will, disclaimer, I'm up to three point

27:35

to... You're halfway through the last episode.

27:37

Oh, it's so specific. And the only

27:40

reason I didn't finish it is because

27:42

it was really late and I didn't

27:44

go to bed because I like really

27:47

care about getting eight hours sleep. Sorry

27:49

to parents listening, I know it's done.

27:51

Right now I can control. Exactly. Now

27:53

it is such a important show. Now

27:56

we spoke about for you because you

27:58

say what it's about first and you

28:00

say why we did this. So essentially

28:02

it's the series explores insales and Andrew

28:05

Tate style. misogyny and the question that

28:07

they're kind of exploring through the series

28:09

is could a teenage boy be so

28:12

influenced by the likes of misogynist Andrew

28:14

Tate that he's driven to murder his

28:16

young classmate? So it's about the story.

28:18

story is about a 13 year old

28:21

boy and this isn't spoiling anything. No,

28:23

it's not. Yeah. The thing and it's

28:25

the first thing but the first scene

28:27

but essentially the first scene is the

28:30

police like a whole police operation going

28:32

into his house and you know his

28:34

parents are obviously incredibly shocked like they've

28:37

got guns they've and it feels like

28:39

and then they arrest this like boy

28:41

that wheez his pants when they get

28:43

in his room and he's so young

28:46

and he just looks so innocent right.

28:48

And you think, like, I'm like, oh

28:50

my goodness, why would they bring all

28:52

these guns? Like, and then they're like,

28:55

well, it's a murder, he's being accused

28:57

of murder of a 13-year-old girl. And

28:59

it's really just throughout the, there's this

29:02

amazing scene. It's actually almost the entire

29:04

third episode of him and a psychologist.

29:06

And he just goes from being this

29:08

beautiful sweet boy into... It's like something

29:11

just overtakes his body and his triggered

29:13

and it is so interesting and I

29:15

think it is just so important. There

29:17

was an article in the ABC and

29:20

it's one of the quotes from it

29:22

about the show is that teens today

29:24

have grown up through cancel culture through

29:27

the pandemic and now they're in this

29:29

time of polarity when there's the work

29:31

left and the extreme right. with people

29:33

like Andrew Tate and others and the

29:36

way they speak about women, the way

29:38

they say women should be treated, the

29:40

way that they say all of those

29:43

things and it is just this it's

29:45

really it's like very heavy TV but

29:47

it shows the impact of what that

29:49

stuff online because you're like oh it's

29:52

just social media it's not just social

29:54

media like it is penetrating their belief

29:56

system and the impact on that on

29:58

teams. And I've seen a lot of

30:01

conversation as well around for these teams

30:03

growing up today that are so heavily

30:05

influenced by social media. parents talking about

30:08

like they have less ability to form

30:10

their child's belief system because obviously there's

30:12

so many things that you know come

30:14

into that and influence them in a

30:17

good way because of this strength of

30:19

these like these people like Andrew Tate

30:21

and Everything they consume so it's really

30:23

scary and we spoke about if you

30:26

should watch it or not because I

30:28

do think for having a young boy

30:30

It's important to know but also like

30:33

it'll be just oh 100% and that's

30:35

exactly where I'm sitting so I follow

30:37

a number of parenting Things on Instagram

30:39

and then because of that my algorithm

30:42

is is often showing me parenting things

30:44

so for the last two weeks like

30:46

I think even before it was released

30:48

I've been getting notified about this show

30:51

and found it really really fascinating to

30:53

read about and obviously not fascinating in

30:55

a positive way like very much like

30:58

upsetting and hitting some like hard truths

31:00

and stuff and also some stuff that

31:02

I I wish I didn't already believe

31:04

myself but you know and so I've

31:07

been in this like stuck since it's

31:09

been out I've been like really wanting

31:11

to watch it because not only is

31:14

it important stuff but People have also

31:16

said like just on the side note

31:18

the production of its incredible like a

31:20

lot of the scenes are shot in

31:23

one take. which is insane, especially for

31:25

a young actor. Honestly, I was actually

31:27

thinking that. Yeah. No, it was. That's

31:29

how they shot it. Did they? Oh

31:32

my God. All I was thinking is

31:34

like how did, not all, part of

31:36

what I was thinking, especially in the

31:39

same with the psychologist, how do they

31:41

remember these lines for so long? So

31:43

if I was trying to, like, the

31:45

same with the psychologist, how do they

31:48

remember these lines for so long? So

31:50

if I was trying to like basically

31:52

beyond. for an entire take. So side

31:54

note of it, it's also put together

31:57

really really well and shot really well.

31:59

But then, as I said to you,

32:01

when you told me that you were

32:04

watching it, I just, I feel like

32:06

I need to be. in a space

32:08

ready for it, if that makes sense,

32:10

just because I know how upsetting it's

32:13

going to make me, upset it's going

32:15

to make me, or like how triggering

32:17

it might be into thinking about all

32:19

the different possibilities of the future. And

32:22

as you said, having a young boy,

32:24

it's probably like one of my biggest

32:26

fears. It's why things like the social

32:29

media band for 16 year olds or

32:31

younger, things like that, like I hope

32:33

that there is more of these things

32:35

implemented by the time that Harvey has

32:38

his hands on technology and we as

32:40

parents are going to do our best

32:42

to make that as delayed as possible.

32:44

But so many parenting forums that I

32:47

follow and you know in my algorithm

32:49

have posted about it and they have

32:51

said like the most terrifying part of

32:54

this isn't the boy at all. It's

32:56

like it's what's... happen to this way.

32:58

It is social media and it is

33:00

the impact and it is the fact

33:03

that for parents what's most terrifying is

33:05

as you said there's only so much

33:07

you can do at home and then

33:10

even at school there's only so much

33:12

that that system can do when they

33:14

have their hands on the internet on

33:16

a smart device at all other times

33:19

they are so easily influenced I think

33:21

that's what's so terrifying. So yeah it's

33:23

a fantastic special share because it's such

33:25

an important... thing to know about, I

33:28

think, and then if you feel up

33:30

to watching it, apparently an incredible series

33:32

to watch. But yeah, I'm not there

33:35

yet. It's the world, right? And there's

33:37

also, there's also, and you can read

33:39

all about it online, the emogies, but

33:41

there's also like meanings for specific emogies

33:44

for the age demo. So like the

33:46

difference between a purple heart, a yellow

33:48

heart, and a red heart, like they

33:50

all have different meanings. And I was

33:53

like, I, I just use it based

33:55

on like the colors of like what

33:57

else other emogies I'm sending. And it's

34:00

also, I think what's important is, as

34:02

a parent, and you'll see this kind

34:04

of come within the show, but... The

34:06

emogies seem harmless but they actually have

34:09

like horrific meanings but because it's like

34:11

a different language yeah because of these

34:13

meanings that you don't know exactly right

34:15

that's also I think something that's important

34:18

to for parents to educate themselves on

34:20

so yeah there's there's a lot in

34:22

there. Now on that note, sorry this

34:25

is quite a sad note to finish

34:27

some podcast on, on that note we

34:29

are going back up because this episode,

34:31

this week, we are releasing, Cephi. Yes,

34:34

the final three episodes. This week is

34:36

an amazing four episodes of the kickpot.

34:38

I know, and so yeah, there's three

34:41

final episodes from my ADHD mini series.

34:43

One I'm particularly nervous about being out

34:45

there is the one with Josh, my

34:47

partner, and Megan Lasco, who we've already

34:50

mentioned at the top of this podcast.

34:52

We sat down and spoke about how

34:54

ADHD can show up in relationships, but

34:56

we were very personal about it. It

34:59

was literally a relationship coaching session, but

35:01

on the microphone, and I will admit,

35:03

like, I honestly forgot that we were

35:06

on the microphone for parts of it.

35:08

And so even... since read listening back

35:10

for like edits and stuff like that

35:12

I've been like oh my god I

35:15

can't believe this is coming out so

35:17

I'm still undecided fair enough at the

35:19

point of recording this but I'm sure

35:21

by the time this is out it

35:24

will be cut and I will have

35:26

no more say but yeah I think

35:28

I'm trying not to to be honest

35:31

but I'm just trying to find like

35:33

what's most relevant because there are some

35:35

parts that I feel like we were

35:37

just honestly having a relationship coaching session

35:40

and I didn't have a lot to

35:42

do with the ADHD. So that's the

35:44

only parts that I'll cut if I

35:46

think that, but it was a very

35:49

vulnerable chat. So that's coming up. I've

35:51

also got a chat with Liv Morrison

35:53

who is our kick dietitian and I

35:56

wanted to chat to her about, I

35:58

suppose the correlation if that's the right

36:00

word. between eating disorders and ADHD because

36:02

it's incredibly common and speak a little

36:05

bit about what I've gone through and

36:07

maybe work through if that had anything

36:09

to do with my ADHD and then

36:11

also just dieting in general like is

36:14

there different things that we can ensure

36:16

like nutrients that we can ensure we

36:18

have in our diet that can help

36:21

us with things like energy or focus

36:23

or anything like that. So I'm so

36:25

excited for that chat as well to

36:27

come out and then the final one

36:30

is just me. reflecting on everything. How

36:32

long is that everything? We will see

36:34

laws. Okay, I'm looking forward to it.

36:37

Yeah, but it's, it's just basically sinking

36:39

in everything that I have learned, because

36:41

as I said, this mini series was

36:43

a very live. a reality of me

36:46

actually learning on the spot and taking

36:48

things in. So it's kind of like

36:50

a summary of what I feel like

36:52

I've taken from it and learn from

36:55

it and what I think I'll take

36:57

forward in some of the things that

36:59

I've, the skills and the tools and

37:02

stuff that I've learned along the way.

37:04

Amazing. Yeah. We're looking forward to listen

37:06

to it. Thanks. Thank you for sharing

37:08

it with us. We love you guys.

37:11

Very very very very very very very

37:13

much much. Bye!