0:02

Clickbump acknowledges the

0:04

traditional owners and custodians of

0:06

the land in which we're

0:08

recording this podcast. The Yolukkah

0:11

Wollum Clan of the Boonurong,

0:13

who are part of the Kulin

0:15

Nation. We pay our respect

0:17

to their elders, past and

0:19

present, and extend our respect

0:21

to Aboriginal and Torres Strait

0:24

Islander peoples today. Welcome to

0:26

the Kickbump podcast, your Fortnily

0:28

D&M on All Things

0:31

Motherhood. Hi guys, hope

0:33

you're doing well. When

0:36

this episode hits your ears,

0:38

my family and I will be

0:40

in the midst of our move.

0:42

And so I think I want

0:45

to start there because it is

0:47

something that at this point of

0:49

recording as well because as you

0:51

guys know we record a tiny

0:53

minute in advance. I'm really nervous

0:56

about moving week. I'm nervous about

0:58

how it might shift up Harvey's

1:00

routine. I'm hoping he stays excited.

1:02

He seems excited right now but

1:04

I don't think he fully understands

1:07

what is involved in moving. There'll be

1:09

a lot of change, etc. But yeah,

1:11

it has got me really excited, I

1:13

think, about finally being able to nest

1:16

for Bub Number Two, because if you

1:18

missed the episode where I did talk

1:20

about us moving house, with Lawsey, I

1:22

did give a bit of an update

1:25

and spoke about it. It's been one

1:27

of the things that have kind of

1:29

been rattling me that this start of

1:32

the year is not knowing where I

1:34

was actually going to be having baby

1:36

number two and therefore not being able

1:38

to get him to kind of nesting

1:40

mode. I think really fortunately because it's

1:43

baby number two we've already got most

1:45

things which is fabulous. So you know

1:47

I think that was what I'm so

1:49

grateful for is that some of the

1:51

stuff that we invested in from family

1:53

and friends like It's been so amazing

1:55

we found so helpful first time round

1:57

that we've held on to or if

2:00

we did. a friend borrows something, it's

2:02

come back to us by this point,

2:04

so we're pretty sorted, which is exciting.

2:06

I'll just finally have a room to

2:08

actually put it all in, so that'll

2:10

be great. But it actually kind of

2:12

leads, setting up of the nursery and

2:14

thinking about Bub No. 2, it leads

2:16

me into today's topic. We're doing something

2:18

a little bit different. Last year when

2:21

I didn't ask me anything episode about

2:23

my pregnancy, I got a few questions

2:25

about... the question of what I would

2:27

do differently second time around. I think

2:29

both from someone who's thinking about having

2:31

a second, but also maybe going into

2:33

motherhood for the first time, because I

2:35

think when we all go into motherhood

2:37

for the first time, we're really going

2:40

off recommendations, right? We question everything. I

2:42

totally know what that's like. And so

2:44

I do feel like I'm in a

2:46

very different mental state now going into

2:48

Bub No2 and knowing what products or

2:50

products or habits or techniques or whatever

2:52

really worked for us and what I

2:54

think I'll be... taking on for Bub

2:56

Number 2 and what I might actually

2:58

leave behind. So I'm going to go

3:01

through basically everything I could think of

3:03

and I'll start with what we will

3:05

be doing again. Okay, what I will

3:07

be doing again. Okay, so first of

3:09

all, let's start with NAPI changing. When

3:11

changing a NAPI, open up the dirty

3:13

NAPI for just a second. and then

3:15

close it over again just in case

3:17

they need to do a little wee

3:19

to avoid getting weed on and then

3:22

switch it out for a fresh napi.

3:24

Now this is something not only did

3:26

I learn from personal experience, but someone

3:28

did tell me after it happened to

3:30

me. Yes, that is the thing because

3:32

when they get nude and they've had

3:34

this thing covering and then there's like

3:36

suddenly this cool air that goes, you

3:38

know, over their genitals or whatever it

3:41

might make them need to we. And

3:43

I think with a boy, with Harvey,

3:45

my experience was, and I look, I

3:47

actually don't know, I haven't been weed

3:49

on by a little girl yet, if

3:51

that is what we end up having,

3:53

but Harvey's we would just go up

3:55

in the air and kind of go

3:57

down like a... like a, what do

3:59

you call them, a fountain? Um, so

4:02

it goes up pretty high. So it's

4:04

a good little, like, you give them

4:06

a bit of air, and then you

4:08

pop the nappy back on. And the

4:10

other thing it avoids is sometimes you

4:12

do get the fresh nappy back on

4:14

before they start weighing again, but the

4:16

amount of times that I did a

4:18

quick change, and then instantly as soon

4:21

as I like kind of strapped the

4:23

nappy in. the line would turn blue

4:25

and I realized he'd weed, I'd have

4:27

to change the napi all over again.

4:29

So it kind of just kind of

4:31

keeps the dirty one dirty and the

4:33

fresh one fresh. So that's my first

4:35

tip. My second tip is to have

4:37

wipes in every room of the house,

4:39

your bag, your car, just have them

4:42

everywhere. I feel like I treat lip

4:44

balm in the same way, just because

4:46

you never know when you're going to

4:48

need it, they come in handy, and

4:50

I just honestly think you can never

4:52

have... too many and I also love

4:54

being that person with wipes. I don't

4:56

know if it's a mum thing but

4:58

like if someone really needs to wipe

5:01

something I'm like I've got wipes I

5:03

feel like superwoman. I always like would

5:05

buy it in bulk and then we

5:07

just have some ready to go kind

5:09

of like toilet paper. You really can

5:11

never have too many wipes. Now this

5:13

one is actually this next tip is

5:15

kind of going to come with a

5:17

story. always use the shoulder straps on

5:19

a pram, not just the ones around

5:22

the hips. So most prams kind of

5:24

have these straps that come over the

5:26

shoulders and down to the hips and

5:28

then like a center buckle and the

5:30

hip buck and then the hips like

5:32

across the hips. Now Harvey was in

5:34

a like he was in a seat

5:36

in the pram so he wasn't like

5:38

a newborn baby by no means, but

5:41

he was still very much a baby.

5:43

He wasn't at toddler stage yet and

5:45

I was pushing the pram doing the

5:47

walk that I... had always done the

5:49

same route that I'd always done and

5:51

I did start to get a little

5:53

bit lazy with the straps and I

5:55

didn't have the top straps done so

5:57

he only had his hip kind of

5:59

tied in and we were just going

6:02

along I had him front facing in

6:04

the pram so he's looking out the

6:06

same direction that I am and I

6:08

go down onto the road off this

6:10

footpath, like on the proper ramp, didn't

6:12

do anything wild, but the wheel got

6:14

caught on something and I ended up

6:16

because I was in motion and we

6:18

were kind of going downhill, the pram

6:20

kind of flipped forward and as much

6:23

as I tried to hold on to

6:25

it and flip it back, the motion

6:27

was just like too much and also

6:29

his weight in the pram took it

6:31

forward and he ended up like grazing

6:33

his face on the ground. Now it

6:35

was probably one of my... least favorite

6:37

moments as a mom. I sat on

6:39

the corner of that road hugging him

6:42

so tight while he cried from you

6:44

know, basically being in shock, and also

6:46

probably from the graze. It ended up

6:48

not beating too bad to be honest.

6:50

It could have been a whole lot

6:52

worse, but it was just one of

6:54

these moments where I was like, oh

6:56

my God, what, are you serious? Like

6:58

these shoulder straps exist for a reason.

7:00

And I really do think these shoulder

7:03

straps exist for a reason. And I

7:05

really do think that if he was

7:07

in them, his front body wouldn't have

7:09

grazed his face on the ground. So.

7:11

That is a scary story, but can

7:13

happen. So just a reminder that those

7:15

traps exist for a reason. And I

7:17

know they get to an age where

7:19

they're a toddler and it can get

7:22

really annoying to do all the straps.

7:24

But I think by then they've at

7:26

least got the strength or the reflexes

7:28

where they'd probably put their arms out

7:30

in front or, you know, something different

7:32

if that situation was happening, where it

7:34

was because it was a baby. Yeah,

7:36

it was a lot. Anyway, use the

7:38

shoulder straps on the pram. Okay, this

7:40

next one is just because of the

7:43

amount of times you'll find yourself napped

7:45

trapped or especially in the early stages

7:47

how long those feeds can take and

7:49

burping etc. But I always found having

7:51

like a phone charger set up at

7:53

the main spot in the house that

7:55

I found myself feeding for most of

7:57

my feeds. So I had a rocking

7:59

chair in my nursery and it was

8:02

kind of my like quiet space that

8:04

I like to revisit a revisit a

8:06

lot. whenever I was breastfeeding, not just

8:08

kind of at night or before a

8:10

nap. And obviously I breastfeeding all over

8:12

the house, but I found that main

8:14

station having like a phone charger set

8:16

up was so helpful because you can

8:18

be there for ages. And sometimes the

8:20

best way is to just either get

8:23

some stuff done or talk to a

8:25

friend, vent to a friend, or honestly

8:27

just do them scroll on social media

8:29

and pass the time that way. So

8:31

phone charger. It's really boring if you're

8:33

sitting there and you're really tired and

8:35

you're maybe past the point of absolutely

8:37

loving every second of breastfeeding because it

8:39

does happen and it's really nice to

8:41

have a distraction. Speaking of phones, my

8:44

next one is we will be using

8:46

the same baby monitor again which connects

8:48

to my phone to Wi-Fi. And for

8:50

me, I think this is because I

8:52

do go away or I have work

8:54

and I'm not with him all the

8:56

time. I personally just love being able

8:58

to check on him and I know

9:00

now my habit of that will probably

9:03

be very different. Like I think first

9:05

time around I was maybe checking it

9:07

probably too often and I was checking

9:09

it in more of an anxious way.

9:11

But when I did get used to

9:13

going back to work and I wasn't

9:15

so anxious about people looking after him

9:17

or anything like that, some of you

9:19

might remember the episode where I spoke

9:21

about sometimes looking at the babysitters through

9:24

the monitor who all by the way

9:26

knew we had a monitor, but I

9:28

think it was more from an anxious

9:30

spot whereas now where it got to

9:32

when I was back at work for

9:34

a while and I got used to

9:36

it and it was Josh that I

9:38

was watching putting him putting him down

9:40

or listening into. It was my way

9:43

of still being able to somewhat be

9:45

a part of bedtime when work was

9:47

really busy or if I was away

9:49

it's like I still got to see

9:51

that interaction and still feel a part

9:53

of it like they would come up

9:55

to the camera he would say good

9:57

night to me like through the camera

9:59

and the one that we have I

10:01

can actually talk back to him in

10:04

those moments so it was just I

10:06

really really enjoyed it and we've also

10:08

used like a radio one or a,

10:10

I don't know what you call them,

10:12

but they're not the Wi-Fi ones. And

10:14

I think that was something that I

10:16

missed, that you have to be like

10:18

a certain distance away from them to

10:20

even be able to hear or see

10:23

them. I liked being able to kind

10:25

of access being able to see him

10:27

at any point and that might make

10:29

me super creepy or... just really touched

10:31

to my babies. But I do have

10:33

a hot tip with you because the

10:35

one thing that we did notice with

10:37

the Wi-Fi monitors is a lot of

10:39

the Wi-Fi monitors because of the safety

10:41

like locks and stuff on them. I

10:44

don't know what it's called, but they

10:46

don't work with like shared Wi-Fi networks.

10:48

So if you're at like a hotel,

10:50

for example, we learn very quickly by

10:52

taking it and trying to use it,

10:54

that they won't connect to a hotel

10:56

Wi-Fi. because it recognizes that it's not

10:58

your like secure and personal Wi-Fi network,

11:00

which is ultimately a good thing. But

11:03

when you're used to using a monitor

11:05

and then suddenly you don't have it,

11:07

it can be a bit hard and

11:09

a bit different. So hot tip, when

11:11

we've like stated like Airbnb or hotels

11:13

or whatever that have kind of like

11:15

multiple rooms and spaces, and we've wanted

11:17

to use a monitor, but haven't because

11:19

you can't connect with Wi-Fi, we will

11:21

call each other's phone. I can face

11:24

time Josh's phone, for example, if I'm

11:26

away with him, and then we mute

11:28

the side that we're on so that

11:30

the receiving end, which would be Harvey

11:32

in this instance, can't hear us talking

11:34

or whatever we're doing in the dining

11:36

room, but we can hear him and

11:38

we can see him. And so that's

11:40

just my little sip. And then when

11:42

we were ready to go to bed

11:45

or, you know, didn't need to look

11:47

at him anymore, then we'd take the

11:49

phone. out of his room and we

11:51

do that. So that's my little if

11:53

you don't have a baby monitor but

11:55

you need to kind of keep an

11:57

eye on a baby while they're napping

11:59

and you might be away or don't

12:01

have your monitor with you. Just face

12:04

time each other. Communicating with Josh. Now

12:06

this is a big one so I

12:08

popped this down because I think when

12:10

And we actually reflect on our relationship

12:12

and at a time where we were

12:14

working together really well as a team,

12:16

it was actually in the early stages

12:18

of having Harvey. And I think it

12:20

was, because I was so exhausted and

12:22

overwhelmed, I just needed to make sure

12:25

he knew exactly where I was at,

12:27

what I needed. And I learned pretty

12:29

quickly that I can't just assume that

12:31

he can read my mind. This is

12:33

something that is honestly like you don't

12:35

need a kid to have this as

12:37

a tip. This is something that we've

12:39

learned to just have in our relationship

12:41

in general, but I particularly think with

12:44

kids and with babies and especially going

12:46

into Bub No 2. like really remembering

12:48

that he can't read my mind and

12:50

just really communicating my needs and also

12:52

encouraging him to do the same because

12:54

we do share a lot of the

12:56

load. It really makes such a difference

12:58

and it gives you those opportunities to

13:00

tap out even when they're available to

13:02

do so. So that's a big one.

13:05

Okay, this one is something that is

13:07

kind of like an if-you-know-you-know kind of

13:09

situation. So any parent listening, there'll be

13:11

a lot of parents listening who have

13:13

been like, absolutely, we did this too.

13:15

This comes up all the time in

13:17

our kick-bomb Facebook group as a recommendation

13:19

for people who are driving with their

13:21

kids, maybe it's a long-distance drive, and

13:24

their kids are really irritated or upset

13:26

and they're crying and they can't like

13:28

entertain them in any way. There is

13:30

this song called The Happy song by

13:32

Image and Hee and Heep. We had

13:34

this on repeat in difficult car trips

13:36

and it just instantly calmed him He

13:38

just instantly wasn't crying. I don't know

13:40

if it's the beat I don't know

13:42

if it's her voice There's something in

13:45

this song that just calms him and

13:47

I know Harvey's not unique in this

13:49

because it's come up so often So

13:51

if you haven't heard of this tip

13:53

This might actually be one of the

13:55

biggest ones on the list because it

13:57

really makes car trips so much easier

13:59

and it's funny we actually literally the

14:01

other day because I use YouTube videos

14:03

to get happy to brush his teeth

14:06

for two minutes. so many, by the

14:08

way, so many YouTube videos that helped

14:10

others brush their teeth. We switch it

14:12

up sometimes or sometimes he gets, you

14:14

know, really into just watching the same

14:16

one over and over again. But the

14:18

other day, the happy song just like

14:20

came up. It's also like a little

14:22

YouTube video. It's really cute illustrations. And

14:25

he recognized it and remembered it. And

14:27

for the last week, that has been

14:29

the song he's been brushing his teeth

14:31

too as well. So it's a goodie.

14:33

Okay, this is kind of similar to

14:35

the first tip when I was speaking

14:37

about changing a nappy and like hopefully

14:39

letting them we in the already dirty

14:41

nappy instead of changing it and then

14:43

having to change right away again because

14:46

they've probably weighed. If I have another

14:48

boy, it's pointing his willy down when

14:50

popping on a fresh nappy. What I

14:52

mean by that is if you don't

14:54

do that, what we found is sometimes

14:56

willy would be up. and the nappie

14:58

would strap on and then if he

15:00

did we himself it would go up

15:02

onto his belly and you know not

15:05

really give the nappie its best chance

15:07

to actually catch all of the way

15:09

so Willie down napping strapped on if

15:11

you've got a little boy. Now

15:13

for the things that I won't

15:15

be taking forward. Okay so first

15:17

one strict or rigid sleep training

15:19

schedules. This might surprise some of

15:22

you because I have been obsessed

15:24

with sleep and talking about sleep

15:26

and wanting to improve it for

15:28

the entirety of Harvey's life. However,

15:30

what I've learnt is that every

15:32

baby's different, every family's different, routines

15:34

are what's important, like maybe routine

15:36

bedtime or they feel like they're

15:38

in their safe space in their

15:40

room and they always know that

15:43

they get a book or this

15:45

book or this particular song or...

15:47

I've certainly seen that with Harvey

15:49

when he can kind of know

15:51

what the next play is in

15:53

his routine. He's comfortable and he

15:55

moves into it. If things throw

15:57

him... like if suddenly we're playing

15:59

in the playroom for 10 minutes

16:01

before this or we're not having

16:04

a shower tonight he can be

16:06

really thrown with his routine switching

16:08

up so I think routine works,

16:10

but there's a difference between having

16:12

routines like that and then obviously

16:14

having flex with them when you

16:16

can't stick to them, to having

16:18

really, really strict or rigid sleep

16:20

training schedules. I think I became

16:22

incredibly anal about it. I got

16:25

really, really worked up personally if

16:27

it didn't ever work or I

16:29

just always kind of blamed myself if

16:31

things didn't work. And I think what

16:33

I have finally come to terms with

16:35

is that whether they're babies or toddlers,

16:38

they're not wrong. robots and if a

16:40

routine, if a sleep schedule is, you

16:42

know, maybe your friend has said, this

16:44

is, I swear by this, this worked

16:46

for us, if it's not working for

16:49

you, that's okay. Don't be too hard

16:51

on yourself, it just might not work

16:53

for you guys, and it's just unhelpful

16:55

to really try and be too anal

16:57

about it and not be flexible. and

17:00

I feel like they feel that

17:02

too. I feel like he picks

17:04

up on my energy when I'm

17:06

obsessing too much and I'm being

17:08

a bit much around his sleep.

17:10

So I'm going to try my

17:13

best to chill both for Harvey's

17:15

sake and this next baby on

17:17

being too strict around that schedule.

17:19

Next one is rushing into solids. I think

17:22

just being a first time mom I was

17:24

really excited by every phase obviously I like

17:26

mourned every new like the old phase that

17:28

just passed because I realized oh now that

17:30

he can do that he's not that phase

17:32

anymore and he's crying so quickly and how

17:34

is this happening so quickly and it was

17:37

it was hard But I was also really

17:39

excited about the next phase and I was

17:41

really looking forward to like him walking or

17:43

him speaking or all of these things. And

17:45

Solids was one thing that I was really

17:47

excited about. I think for multiple reasons. I

17:49

heard that it can improve things like their

17:52

sleep. It can just be really fun as

17:54

someone who likes cooking and making healthy food

17:56

really yummy and all of that sort of

17:58

stuff and I just was really excited. to

18:00

play with it to be honest and prep

18:02

food and just jump into that phase that

18:04

I think I might have, I mean he

18:06

was showing the signs, I'd learnt the

18:08

signs of them being ready, but

18:10

he wasn't showing all of the signs,

18:12

he was showing like some of

18:14

the important ones but not all of

18:17

the signs, and so I probably started

18:19

it a little bit early and

18:21

I think the only thing with that

18:23

is I really didn't know or

18:25

understand. how time consuming it can be,

18:28

but also how many big batches

18:30

of puree went to waste because he

18:32

quickly decided he didn't like something anymore.

18:34

I can't tell you how many

18:36

different meals I pureed or prepped

18:39

and put in those little freezer

18:41

pods and he would love it

18:43

one day and then I'd bulk

18:45

make it, freeze it. and then would

18:47

never want to touch it again.

18:49

So I didn't realize how much

18:51

of that would happen in this

18:54

phase and it started to become

18:56

a little less exciting than when

18:58

it initially started. So I think

19:00

I'll be absolutely patiently waiting for

19:02

all of the signs before getting

19:04

started and maybe making smaller batches

19:06

of things as well, not going

19:08

too overboard and getting very excited

19:10

if they liked it the first time

19:13

they had it. Okay. The last thing

19:15

I will leave you guys with is

19:17

buying toys with too many parts. I'm

19:19

not going to be doing that again

19:21

because one thing that I've learned

19:23

is that they never stay together.

19:26

Like I'm talking not Lego, Lego

19:28

is a bit different because you

19:30

can kind of keep all of

19:32

your Lego in like a big

19:34

bucket and revisit it. I'm talking

19:36

about like... The train set that you might

19:39

have with like four little animal heads bobbing

19:41

on it and you kind of can move

19:43

the blocks around and everything because what ends

19:45

up happening is And what happened with Harvey's

19:47

train set and a number of his toys

19:49

that he got is that all of these

19:51

little parts They either get entirely lost or

19:53

just put in the wrong drawer or in

19:55

the wrong area of the house or whatever

19:58

and then you end up with this like

20:00

naked train that doesn't have all its

20:02

characters on it anymore and doesn't work

20:04

as well and therefore doesn't want to

20:06

be played with anymore and is just

20:08

a toy that sits there. Whereas the

20:10

toys that are kind of as a

20:12

whole or maybe only have a few

20:14

pieces to them, I've been able to

20:16

keep them kind of semi-organized and in

20:18

the same place. And so that is

20:21

my tip that I'm going to not

20:23

be doing anymore. And it's also, to

20:25

be honest, it's a tip if you're

20:27

buying for someone. If you're buying a

20:29

gift for maybe a toddler or a

20:31

baby starting to grab things or anything

20:33

like that, I know some of those

20:35

sets or things can be like so

20:37

cute and look really great and practical.

20:40

But they just don't stay together for

20:42

very long and then you as a

20:44

parent just find yourself picking up these

20:47

random pieces of toys that you forgot

20:49

you had. for honestly years, fast the

20:51

point of actually getting them. And

20:53

it just feels like a bit

20:55

of a waste. So that is

20:57

the tip I'm going to leave

20:59

you guys on. And I'm sure there's probably

21:01

more that's going to come to mind as

21:03

soon as I jump into baby number two

21:06

and we're actually practicing some of these things.

21:08

Maybe I will come back on the podcast

21:10

and admit if any of these things I've

21:12

said I'd leave behind I've actually brought back

21:14

on or if some of the things that

21:16

I thought I was going to take on

21:18

aren't working for baby number two because that

21:20

is something I'm going to embrace as well.

21:22

I know not every baby is exactly the

21:24

same. It'll be really interesting to... see if

21:26

some of the techniques or things that we

21:28

liked or Harvey liked, you know, are going

21:31

to be enjoyed by baby number two.

21:33

I'll keep you guys in the loop.

21:35

But for all the new mummers out

21:37

there, just know, these are my recommendations

21:39

and really you take what you want

21:41

from it and just know that you

21:43

are going to be hearing advice and

21:46

opinions from so many people. You

21:48

just have to try it for yourself. See

21:50

what works for you and your family. then

21:52

you can find your own list of things

21:54

that if you're going to have more than

21:57

one baby, you can take on for baby number

21:59

two as well. So anyway, I hope you

22:01

guys enjoyed it. I hope it answered

22:03

your question. I enjoyed revisiting it. It

22:05

was really great practice going into above

22:08

number two. So I appreciate the reminder.

22:10

And I will be back in your

22:12

ears very, very soon on Monday, in

22:14

fact, with laws. So thank you for

22:16

listening, a reminder that we've got our

22:19

private Facebook group, if you're looking for

22:21

a virtual mothers group online. And also

22:23

we have our Instagram page now, which

22:25

I would. absolutely love your support in

22:27

going to follow which is at kick

22:30

bump if you're looking for some more

22:32

support or advice we've got some incredible

22:34

experts who share stuff regularly on there

22:36

as well as myself you know total

22:39

expert parent over here so we'd love

22:41

to see you over there but thank

22:43

you so much for listening and I'll

22:45

speak to you guys soon.