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1:29

So I've been really stressed Rick

1:31

because I don't know I just have been

1:33

like there's been a lot on top

1:36

and it's mad what happens to your

1:38

brain when you're stressed like it turns

1:40

you into a different person like my

1:42

yesterday my the last two days my

1:44

head I've been so stressed out it's

1:46

unreal. My head's really really sort of

1:49

fuzzy feel like I had no energy

1:51

I just fucking felt terrible this morning

1:53

full of beans. Woke up no problems

1:55

too big it like everything's gonna be

1:58

sorted. Everything will be fine.

2:00

Don't know. This man, didn't it,

2:02

how the brain works? Like yesterday

2:04

I'm like, this is a mess.

2:06

Today I'm like, this is fine.

2:08

What is it? What happens? Right,

2:10

I don't know. Idit, have you,

2:12

have you woken up? What's the

2:14

weather like where you are? Is

2:16

it? I went through it like...

2:18

It was beautiful. It was like

2:20

19 degrees, it was sunny, it

2:22

was absolutely beautiful. I woke, I

2:24

had a good night sleep, that

2:26

probably helped, so I got my...

2:28

I'm a slave to the Samsung

2:30

watch. Yeah, you are. You are

2:32

a slave to... My fit bit,

2:34

yeah. You got a fit bit,

2:36

right? Same thing. Yeah, yeah. I

2:38

sometimes, I get into sort of

2:40

passive aggressive disagreements with my smart

2:42

watch, with my Samsung. Right. The

2:45

other day, I woke up and

2:47

I was like, I feel like

2:49

I was a good sleep. Better

2:51

check. Better check. Better on there.

2:53

Fair. What do you mean, fucking

2:55

fair? I've been in bed since

2:57

our past 10. It's quarter to

2:59

seven in the morning. That's loads

3:01

of sleep. What do you mean,

3:03

fucking fair? V-A-R, re-check it, re-check

3:05

the sleep. What do you mean

3:07

fair? That should be an excellent

3:09

sleep. Yeah. So it started and

3:11

it put me in a bad

3:13

mood, because I'm like, telling me

3:15

I'm fair. And then it went

3:17

you better up your steps, because

3:19

that was shit yesterday, more or

3:21

less it said to me. Really?

3:23

Yeah, it says you need to

3:25

up your exercise and consider improving

3:27

your exercise. Don't tell me what

3:29

to fucking consider. You're an inanimate

3:32

object. I'm playing full of emotion.

3:34

All right, it's all right, you're

3:36

going, you don't know what my

3:38

day was like yesterday. It was

3:40

tough. I had to do a

3:42

lot of work on sedentary sitting

3:44

in front of this fucking screen.

3:46

And the Samsung watch is telling

3:48

me, oh, you need to up

3:50

your game a little bit. You

3:52

fucking up your game. Do you

3:54

know what I mean? It is?

3:56

Like it says, come on fast,

3:58

so fucking get stepping, like, and

4:00

you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

4:02

whoa, whoa, I feel like that

4:04

any. It doesn't insult me in

4:06

that way and I wouldn't mind

4:08

if it did because it almost

4:10

like there's a comedy to this.

4:12

This is holding up a mirror

4:14

to me. This is saying you

4:16

need to do this. You need

4:18

to sort yourself out. And it

4:21

is kind of like good for

4:23

that because it holds you accountable.

4:25

You watch, hold you fucking accountable.

4:27

But also you start thinking, fuck

4:29

you. Give me a break because

4:31

you don't know what my day

4:33

has been like and you don't

4:35

know what stress is I'm going

4:37

through. You don't know about the

4:39

house. You don't know about the

4:41

dog going to the vet and

4:43

having to see a specialist and

4:45

knowing whether or not the insurance

4:47

is going to cover the procedures

4:49

that cost the thousands and thousands

4:51

of pounds. You don't know about

4:53

that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all

4:55

your saying is your sleep was

4:57

fair. You need to up your

4:59

step down. So Rick, the other

5:01

day I was falling asleep and

5:03

I was finding it a little

5:05

bit difficult to fall asleep because

5:08

of all these stresses. Yeah, I

5:10

can imagine. Do you know what

5:12

I did? I took the watch

5:14

off. I said, did you watch?

5:16

You ain't getting my reading tonight.

5:18

You're not having it. That's good.

5:20

You know what you count it

5:22

as? A pause night sleep because

5:24

I had been asleep in and

5:26

out for a couple of hours.

5:28

I think it's doing stuff just

5:30

to rar you. I wouldn't mind

5:32

if, like knowing in good, good

5:34

intentions if my fitbit was a

5:36

bit like racist to me. Yeah,

5:38

you like that. Yeah, to give

5:40

me that motivation, to give me

5:42

that dog in me, that motivation,

5:44

that drive, I'll fucking show you.

5:46

Like I'll go out and I'll

5:48

walk 20,000 steps. Like really, I

5:50

won't put my calories in there.

5:52

Well I will but less calories.

5:55

I've just eaten a mini baby

5:57

bell light all day that's it.

5:59

Like what's his name? Christian Bale

6:01

just ate a can of tuna

6:03

all day. Well he was bulky.

6:05

Yeah no it's just for it's

6:07

filled was it machine? I've seen

6:09

this when he turned into like

6:11

an anorexic. Yeah, yeah, I'll just

6:13

do that with mini baby though.

6:15

Yeah. You know, do you ever

6:17

look at your fit bit after

6:19

you've, um, after you've been on

6:21

the job? You've, uh... I once

6:23

had a night. Been intimate with,

6:25

uh, with a wife. Yeah, of

6:27

course. It was, it's a good

6:29

exercise. It's good aeroboric, araboric, a

6:31

a aeroboric exercise, yeah. Yeah, I

6:33

am... Honestly, it's quite a way,

6:35

but the next... the next... The

6:37

next morning, I have been known

6:39

to check my heart rate on

6:41

my fit bit and then I

6:44

see like at half 12 at

6:46

night, goes to yellow, then it

6:48

goes into red, I'm like, what

6:50

were you doing? Let's fucking go!

6:52

Knowing full well what you were

6:54

doing. Knowing what I was doing!

6:56

Are the nights, hazy lights, band

6:58

of brothers playing tunes high as

7:00

quiet, midnight waves, surfing through till

7:02

daylight breaks, rhythm hit us different

7:04

ways, love and music's out we

7:06

prayed, with our tongues in cheek,

7:08

banders out we like to speak.

7:10

And yeah time's changed but no

7:12

matter what the bond remains. Brothers.

7:14

Hello and welcome to Labs Anonymous.

7:16

It's episode 80. I'm Ricky he's

7:18

full of two best mates, one

7:20

main topic. We answer your live

7:22

dilemmas and confessions and our feature,

7:24

something only you know and everything

7:26

remains anonymous always. So sit back,

7:28

relax and enjoy the podcast. How

7:31

are you feeling apart from the...

7:33

The stresses. All the things. I

7:35

feel really good this morning. Got

7:37

up about half past six and

7:39

walked the dog for a bit.

7:41

So got about 6,000 steps in

7:43

according to the watch. You were

7:45

up at half six this morning,

7:47

you went for... I always wake

7:49

up around that anyway, my body

7:51

just wakes me up about half

7:53

six. And you always take the

7:55

dog for a walk at that

7:57

time, like a nice one? No,

7:59

not all during the winter, because

8:01

it's fucking freezing cold and dark,

8:03

but this time of year is

8:05

beautiful, right? So it's like the

8:07

sun's coming up, mate, listen to

8:09

this for an ideal dog walk.

8:11

Sun was up, no one was

8:13

around, chirpingurping in the birds, chirpingirpingpingping,

8:15

chirping, chirping, chirping, chirping, chirping, chirping,

8:17

chirping, chirping, chirping, Oh yes. Lambs.

8:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little Lambs. Good.

8:22

Beaten. Beaten. Yeah. And frolicking. They're

8:24

frolicking. Were they? Yeah, they're rolling

8:26

around each other. Does Frank go

8:28

over and chase him or anything

8:30

like that? Not really. No, no,

8:32

no, he would. I mean, if

8:34

he was off his lead and

8:36

I let him out, he would

8:38

definitely go over and if they

8:40

would run, he would chase here

8:42

for sure. When you go along

8:44

walks, do you keep him on

8:46

the lead still? Yeah. Oh, look,

8:48

I've told you, I've had this,

8:50

sorry, my big bug bear is

8:52

people have their dogs off their

8:54

leads if they don't have any

8:56

recall, which if you can control

8:58

your dog, take them off the

9:00

lead, it's up to you. If

9:02

you cannot, if your dog does

9:04

not come back to you, which

9:07

is 90% the dogs won't come

9:09

back to you immediately if you

9:11

call them, because they don't want

9:13

to come back to you. They

9:15

want to come back immediately, right?

9:17

And there's a whole discussion about

9:19

whether or not a dog that

9:21

is hypertrained is a happy dog.

9:23

Some people believe it is that

9:25

the dogs are who react immediately

9:27

to every Demand is a happy

9:29

dog. Other people say it's too

9:31

straight and the dog isn't able

9:33

to be the kind of dog

9:35

it wants to be, right? So

9:37

what? Is that a thing? Is

9:39

that what people believe? People are

9:41

not campaigning against it. I'm not

9:43

in this dog world, you know.

9:45

Yeah, there's some people, like a

9:47

dog that stays by your heel

9:49

and walks by your heel and

9:51

doesn't leave your heel. for fear

9:54

of being scolded. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

9:56

Some people believe that isn't how

9:58

a dog should be trained to

10:00

that degree. Like it's like a

10:02

military trained dog, right? That's how

10:04

I would like to have a

10:06

dog. Yeah, a German shepherd and

10:08

I walk and I go up

10:10

and it would just stop and

10:12

sit down. Yeah, I have a

10:14

people say the dog is perfectly

10:16

happy because it understands it's rolling

10:18

their pack and it's right. Right.

10:20

So, but it requires, but it

10:22

requires, it requires a lot of

10:24

work and effort to get a

10:26

dog to get a dog to

10:28

behave that way to behave that

10:30

way. But there are some certain

10:32

breeds that can do it. But

10:34

you're talking daily training for probably

10:36

an hour at a time. And

10:38

then eventually they'll get it. I

10:40

went out the box like that.

10:43

No, I spoke to your wife

10:45

about this and she said she

10:47

wants a pre-trained dog and I

10:49

was like, I don't know what

10:51

that is. I don't want to

10:53

puppy or want a pre-trained dog.

10:55

All right. You might be able

10:57

to get one. I don't know.

10:59

But I did Google it. And

11:01

apparently there are dogs that have

11:03

been sort of trained for like

11:05

toilet trained. So that you can

11:07

buy. And if there is, as

11:09

a first dog, it's not a

11:11

bad shout, but you're not learning

11:13

a great deal. No, I would

11:15

like to do the training myself,

11:17

really. Yeah. I would like to

11:19

build that rapport with said dog.

11:21

So I said, Frank's pretty well

11:23

trained, I would say, like he

11:25

does come back when you call

11:27

him not straight away. but he'd

11:30

take a moment to pause and

11:32

then he will come back if

11:34

he's distracted by a deer or

11:36

something like that and I don't

11:38

call him I'll lose it he

11:40

will go but if I if

11:42

there is a battle between me

11:44

and the deer and he can

11:46

hear me shout shouting at him

11:48

to come back he doesn't go

11:50

so in my experience although I

11:52

wouldn't trust him I would not

11:54

trust him at all and that's

11:56

the thing is no one you

11:58

should always be under the impression

12:00

that your dog isn't to be

12:02

trusted like a baby is with

12:04

a baby Just assume it's not

12:06

to be trusted. But your dog

12:08

may never have been bitten anybody.

12:10

Just assume that it will. So

12:12

just be... wary of it, that's

12:14

what we do. There's people that

12:16

just think they're dogs fine, they're

12:19

dogs. That's a really good outlook

12:21

to have you know, because I

12:23

know I know this from having

12:25

two children that were, I'd like

12:27

to say petrified of dogs, but

12:29

is there something that's a step

12:31

further than petrified? Yeah, they were

12:33

very scared and they have been

12:35

for years and they are a

12:37

whole heap better now and they

12:39

can be around dogs and you

12:41

know they're fine, they actually want

12:43

dogs now. But there's so many

12:45

people that just walk. and don't

12:47

have their dogs and leaves and

12:49

be like it's fine he's just

12:51

happy he's just this and it's

12:53

jumping up at my kids and

12:55

my kids have like literally climbed

12:57

up my body yeah because they

12:59

are so scared and they just

13:01

dart across roads and they do

13:03

this and do that and it's

13:06

like fucking elm and that's not

13:08

that's not a dog that's under

13:10

control no so there's a couple

13:12

of issues a dog can get

13:14

hit by a car the dog

13:16

scare in your kids also worst

13:18

off is your dog might approach

13:20

my dog. My dog might not

13:22

like your dog. My dog's on

13:24

a lead under control. Your dog

13:26

is not under control. If my

13:28

dog, if your dog gets in

13:30

my dog's space and he decides

13:32

I don't like this and bites

13:34

your dog, you're gonna blame me

13:36

because staffs are considered to be

13:38

dangerous dogs. When my dog is

13:40

under control on a lead. That's

13:42

what fucks me off. Yeah. You

13:44

shouldn't have a dangerous dog. Your

13:46

dog, you have no control over

13:48

your dog. Your dog doesn't give

13:50

a shit about you in this

13:53

moment. Anyway, um, why are you

13:55

talking about that? I don't know,

13:57

I don't know. I was walking

13:59

dogs, so I saw lambs and

14:01

I saw bunny rabbits this morning.

14:03

That's beautiful. That is, I mean,

14:05

I go, because I walk my

14:07

kids to the bus stop every

14:09

morning, half past seven, and I

14:11

carry on that walk for an

14:13

hour. And I walk down the

14:15

river and canal and canal and

14:17

it's just... as the you know

14:19

the sun's rising and you can

14:21

hear the birds chirping hear the

14:23

the water from the river running

14:25

and just ah it's it's my

14:27

favorite time early in the morning

14:29

as I'm going for a bowl

14:31

about. It's absolutely beautiful. Today's topic

14:33

is the internet. So it's a,

14:35

you know, we're just gonna have

14:37

a chat about the internet really.

14:39

Do you like the internet? Oh

14:42

mate, it's my favourite place. It

14:44

really is my favourite place. Actually,

14:46

I did like a, let's just,

14:48

I'm just gonna get into it

14:50

right. When I first met you.

14:52

I thought I was an internet

14:54

guy. I like the internet. I

14:56

went on the internet. I looked

14:58

at stuff on the internet. Hang

15:00

on a second. What are you

15:02

getting at? But you showed me

15:04

what memes were and like viral

15:06

videos. No, I didn't. You saw

15:08

that shit before. treading on the

15:10

grapes and falls off, you know

15:12

that one? Of course I do.

15:14

Wait, I want to play that,

15:16

but you go on. Right. All

15:18

stuff like that. I wasn't really

15:20

aware of like meme culture and

15:22

viral videos and stuff like that.

15:24

What year was this? Myspace? When

15:26

was this? So that would so

15:29

what that would have been like

15:31

the 2006's senses? Ricky, that's not

15:33

true right because we met each

15:35

other on a message board you

15:37

would have seen all this shit

15:39

Yeah we met each other on

15:41

a message board right but you

15:43

go on to a message board

15:45

and you you just post stuff

15:47

on a message board like we

15:49

had things that we would laugh

15:51

at on the message board but

15:53

it was that the whole culture

15:55

around these different things which I

15:57

didn't really get and like... I

15:59

found Great Lady Fool's original video.

16:01

I wonder how many people listen

16:03

to this or will remember this

16:05

just by the sound because if

16:07

you know what this is. The

16:09

sound, your mind will do the

16:11

rest. What kind of grapes? These

16:13

are filled with chamber sin grapes

16:15

and the winner this Saturday who's

16:18

stop music, eating international foods, having

16:20

wine tours and tasting, vineyards, seminars,

16:22

arts and crafts. It's a lot

16:24

of fun, a whole day. Stop!

16:26

Oh! Oh! Oh! I

16:30

think she's actually hurt. No, I

16:33

think she is actually hurt. No,

16:35

I think she is. Yeah, she's

16:37

hurt. She took a hard fall.

16:40

She's actually hurt. She took a

16:42

hard fall. She's actually hurt. The

16:45

biggest is, the tricky is because

16:47

she cheats. That's what makes it

16:49

all the funnier. She goes, stop,

16:52

stop, hit her. It hurts. So

16:54

there's stuff like that right that

16:57

I hadn't really seen and that

16:59

you would show me and I

17:01

was like fuck I didn't know

17:04

that that existed so you were

17:06

quite um I don't know maybe

17:08

I spent more time on the

17:11

internet than maybe even now like

17:13

you know about different places in

17:16

and ready you're quite down with

17:18

a redic crew I'm not really

17:20

well I mean like it was

17:23

I mean you are like a

17:25

bit more like a bit more

17:27

Internet, okay, aware than me, right?

17:30

Yeah, that's true. Tiktok, out of

17:32

us, who knows the word on

17:35

the street on Tiktok? Yeah, I

17:37

spend a lot of time on

17:39

Tiktok. Yeah, they're spending a lot

17:42

of time on Tiktok. Yeah, they're

17:44

spending a lot of time on

17:46

Tiktok, right? Okay, who's used the

17:49

dark web? I've used the dark

17:51

web load. I haven't, I've never

17:54

used the internet. I mean, fair

17:56

enough. love the internet. Yeah, so

17:58

what? I tell you exactly where

18:01

it comes from. Well, go on.

18:03

Because I kind of found out

18:05

about, so I used to go

18:08

to a youth media project called

18:10

Exposure which I then work for,

18:13

right? Yeah. And they had the

18:15

internet and they had computers and

18:17

I was always interested in computers

18:20

and stuff. Did you have the

18:22

internet at home at that point?

18:25

So not at that point. This

18:27

was, you didn't have the internet

18:29

clubs. So we, back then there

18:32

were internet clubs. Internet clubs. So

18:34

I used to go to an

18:36

internet club, right? So it was

18:39

called Tottenham Hale Technology Club, something

18:41

like that. That's pretty geeky, right?

18:44

Fucking hell! May, I need, I

18:46

kissed the girl there, so I

18:48

don't even... Also, can I say

18:51

yes? Yeah, gun. My first and

18:53

last, woman of colour. Wow,

18:56

really? Is that worth saying? It's

18:58

not racist that's just mentioned that,

19:00

is it? No, no, not at

19:02

all. No, no, no, no, no.

19:04

I mean, like, first and last,

19:06

didn't like the flavour, no? Yeah,

19:08

I did. Did you? Yeah, no,

19:10

I don't discriminate in that way.

19:12

We were supposed to do our

19:15

favourite races in terms of... fancy

19:17

who did my favorite, like is

19:19

it racist to not fancy a

19:21

certain race? But we'll do that

19:23

another time. We'll do it another

19:25

time. Yeah, yeah, sure. So back

19:27

then no one had the internet,

19:29

right? It wasn't a common thing

19:31

in the home. So you'd have

19:33

these, this place where we would

19:35

go, so exposure, it was a

19:37

youth media charity, right? So we

19:39

used to work with kids who

19:41

were interested in a career in

19:43

the media and we'd work with

19:45

kids who... had struggled at school,

19:47

so this was a different environment

19:49

for them to learn it. And

19:51

so the internet was important. It

19:53

was important to know what it

19:55

was and what advantages they were

19:57

going to be there. So what

19:59

we went was this room full

20:01

of computers that were connected to

20:03

the internet. It wasn't at home,

20:05

it was just in these internet,

20:07

it was like an internet club.

20:09

But also they had these, you

20:11

had internet cafes then, because internet

20:13

wasn't at home. May I remember

20:15

like in crouching when I lived

20:17

in crouching, I didn't have a

20:19

printer and I'd regularly be in

20:21

the internet cafe opposite the open

20:23

anchor. And it's fucking weird thinking

20:25

about that. I'm in a like

20:27

a cafe where there's loads of

20:29

computers. And normally, it's just like

20:31

loads of people that look like

20:33

me, just there, people of colour,

20:36

just there, rule on the internet.

20:38

I don't know why we're all

20:40

there. There's a whole array of

20:42

colours, which they're chatting to relatives.

20:44

We're all on the internet. We're

20:46

all on internet. Yeah, and it's

20:48

fucking weird, man, that I'd have

20:50

to go to a place to

20:52

log on to check my Hotmail

20:54

account. Yeah, fucking wild, man. So,

20:56

I'll make, that's another thing we

20:58

have to talk about, you and

21:00

your fucking accounts. Like that, I'm

21:02

just coming around to your place

21:04

to check my accounts on the

21:06

internet. Like, I'm coming around to

21:08

your house to use the internet.

21:10

And you go around your dad's

21:12

house to use his internet. So

21:14

what people won't know, right, is

21:16

there was a family computer back

21:18

then, right? Yeah. So I was

21:20

lucky enough, because I was so

21:22

interested in computers, right? I

21:25

used to write, so I used to

21:27

write for, like I said, this exposure

21:29

is a massive part of my life,

21:31

but then. So they used to publish

21:33

a magazine, and I used to write

21:35

monthly for this magazine every month, and

21:37

write for various different things, and I

21:39

wanted a career in journalism and communication

21:41

of some sort. So I would write

21:43

about things, and my dad... and my

21:45

mom and my granddad got together and

21:47

they knew I will need you the

21:49

computer even about them so they bought

21:51

me a Packard Bell computer I was

21:53

my my mind was blown when it

21:55

was the best Christmas present I ever

21:57

had like when my dad hit it

21:59

in my man's house and they took

22:02

put me upstairs to the top bedroom

22:04

of my dad. You remember my dad's

22:06

and my dad's house? They were narrow

22:08

and tall houses. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

22:10

And there was a computer on the

22:12

bed up there and I was like,

22:14

oh my God, I was, I think

22:16

I cried, I was that excited. So

22:18

I had a computer in my room.

22:20

But at 16, 17, which would have

22:22

been rare then. And shortly after I

22:24

connected to the internet. The

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LifeLock.com/podcast. Terms apply. I had exactly

23:25

the same thing. Did you? Where

23:27

my mum had bought me a...

23:30

Maybe it's a huge pack. I

23:32

can't quite remember what computer was.

23:34

Big tower, even fucking bigger monitor.

23:36

And we... I had the computer

23:38

in my room. And I was

23:41

like, it was like, knew as

23:43

well. So I knew it was

23:45

expensive. And it was mine. It

23:47

was unreal. I remember opening the

23:49

fresh out of the box. pulling

23:52

back the you know the big

23:54

blocks of polystyrene and seeing that

23:56

beautiful big tower and the monter

23:58

and then the shimmering silver disc.

24:00

What was it in Carter 94

24:03

or something like that? Oh mate.

24:05

Oh yeah. Is an encyclopedia on

24:07

the disc? It was incredible. Absolutely

24:09

loved it. And we, so the

24:12

computer was upstairs and to connect

24:14

to the internet you would have

24:16

to have that running Ethernet. line

24:18

from your computer to the back

24:20

of it to the phone line

24:23

which was downstairs. So there's always

24:25

this fucking cable going up the

24:27

stairs. Yeah. And back in the

24:29

day, because there was only you

24:31

have one landline to a house,

24:34

you could either use it for

24:36

your landline phone or for the

24:38

internet. So you couldn't. If your

24:40

mom was on the phone to

24:42

your aunt, you couldn't then use

24:45

the internet. Or if you were

24:47

on the internet, you'd have to

24:49

get off the internet for your

24:51

family to call you or whatever.

24:53

And you couldn't be on the

24:56

internet too long because you might

24:58

be missing calls. So there's always

25:00

this weird dynamic of I wanted

25:02

to be on the internet. I

25:05

wanted to see what's fucking going

25:07

on if there's been any updates

25:09

on in Carter. But back in

25:11

the day, there was the boom

25:13

of downloading. Files weren't there when

25:16

it was files there was images

25:18

So I mean you mean like

25:20

when I limewire and stuff like

25:22

that Lime wire there's what I

25:24

came later It was here either

25:27

for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all

25:29

of that that came Yeah, when

25:31

I got the internet that wasn't

25:33

common that stuff I was like

25:35

earlier that yeah that yeah that

25:38

was that was a little a

25:40

little bit later so I I

25:42

was aware that I'd have to

25:44

ring me my dad and I

25:47

go on the internet go on

25:49

the internet what he did on

25:51

the internet just homework I wasn't

25:53

I was downloading as many pictures

25:55

of tits as I could yeah

25:58

that's right that's right So I'm

26:00

my very first rendezvous with pornography

26:02

on the internet. I've never actually

26:04

told this story ever on any

26:06

podcast because it's really hard to

26:09

kind of pick the right moment.

26:11

Why have I don't even know

26:13

about it off podcast? No, exactly.

26:15

So go on. So when you

26:17

were downloading stuff, right, you would,

26:20

especially back in the day where

26:22

it was either limewire or whatever

26:24

it was, the file wouldn't download

26:26

as in, it would go from

26:28

the start to the finish, like

26:31

the timeline wouldn't be start to

26:33

finish. It would do it in

26:35

different stages and different, it was

26:37

like non-linear basically, any way you

26:40

wanted. And I knew that obviously

26:42

I could search for porn. But

26:44

it would take ages, like hours

26:46

to download these video files, fucking

26:48

hours, even days almost. And I

26:51

could never find a video that

26:53

was at a right length because

26:55

it was always like full porn,

26:57

didn't want full porn, just wanted

26:59

a little bit of porn. And

27:02

because I knew my mum would

27:04

tweak, like, sorry, twig, as to

27:06

be like, what's fucking going on

27:08

here? And obviously, you're downloading porn

27:10

and... you're in you know my

27:13

my sister's there my mum's there

27:15

you don't want anyone to know

27:17

but you need the porn you

27:19

need it yeah you need it

27:21

and you've got to go for

27:24

you in favour to brave so

27:26

you go into limelight and you

27:28

just type in porn and whatever

27:30

the first title comes out at

27:33

you and it was like I

27:35

don't know 80 hot steaming clips

27:37

of and I was like I

27:39

didn't know what it was, just

27:41

double click and then click out

27:44

of something. So I knew, and

27:46

then when I looked at limo,

27:48

I could see the beginning of

27:50

the title, 80 clips of hot

27:52

steamy and it was starting to...

27:55

download and I was like fucking

27:57

it's happening it's happening so then

27:59

and then it came up and

28:01

it was like 14 hours to

28:03

go and I'm like fucking hour

28:06

man 14 hours for this three-minute

28:08

clip what am I gonna do

28:10

so I let it run I

28:12

let it run I let it

28:15

run and it come up to

28:17

nighttime and I still wanted it

28:19

so I just switched the monitor

28:21

off and my mom came in

28:23

my room at night was like

28:26

oh good night blah blah blah

28:28

blah blah I was like yeah

28:30

good nice it's the computer still

28:32

on no I can hear it.

28:34

Yeah, no, no, it is. Let

28:37

me, let me. And she was

28:39

like, the finger was around the

28:41

monitor button, she was gonna press

28:43

it, and it was gonna be

28:45

the timeline of me downloading this

28:48

porn, and I was like, fuck

28:50

man, what am I gonna do?

28:52

It's doing an update, man. What?

28:54

It's doing an update, yeah, yeah,

28:56

yeah, got to leave it on,

28:59

doing an update. It's like, what's

29:01

the internet it plugged in as

29:03

well? So no one can call

29:05

your house. Yeah, no one's going

29:08

to call at night. No one's

29:10

going to call. No one's going

29:12

to call it's fine. And then

29:14

in the end I went... Like

29:16

it was a granny with an

29:19

emergency, passed away during the night.

29:21

My porn is more, you know,

29:23

more important. Wake up in the

29:25

morning, press the monitor button, I

29:27

looked, and I said, file complete,

29:30

and I was like, oh my

29:32

God, I can't wait, I can't

29:34

get stuck into it, sister's out.

29:36

I clicked on it and it

29:38

was like 80 clips of hot

29:41

and steamy come shots and I

29:43

was like right okay I can

29:45

get what I can get on

29:47

with that mate just anything anything

29:49

that's happening I'm lucky it wasn't

29:52

like gay porn because that would

29:54

have been wasted on me I

29:56

probably still would have had to

29:58

go you know anything just to

30:01

like 16 year old boy but

30:03

then I remember playing it and

30:05

it was really fast, and I

30:07

mean really fast clips just of

30:09

the money shot, that was it.

30:12

No build up, money shots, that

30:14

was it. And the backing track

30:16

was... out of control out of

30:18

control out of control do do

30:20

do do do do do do

30:23

do do do do do do

30:25

do do do right and how

30:27

it was done right all I

30:29

can remember yeah and just all

30:31

these poor ladies getting splattered and

30:34

I was like this is wild

30:36

man I was like as a

30:38

16 year old and I can

30:40

only describe it as do you

30:43

remember in the film inglorious bastards

30:45

and there is a 16 year

30:47

old and I can only describe

30:49

it as do you remember in

30:51

the film inglorous bastards and there

30:54

is a scene where they're in

30:56

the cinema and they're celebrating this,

30:58

I think it's a German sniper

31:00

and they're showing this film of

31:02

how many people is killed and

31:05

it goes into this kind of

31:07

slapstick moment where he's shooting so

31:09

many people it's like synchronized swimmers

31:11

but they're synchronized dying and they're

31:13

all falling out of balconies and

31:16

like all kind of going together.

31:18

Now this porn video was just

31:20

like... women just coming out of

31:22

water and just getting splattered and

31:24

then just walking down the road

31:27

getting splattered and I was just

31:29

like it was like a strobe

31:31

like of jeezies and I was

31:33

like this that so that was

31:36

my first first foray into found

31:38

only video porn. Imagine if you

31:40

was epileptic. Oh mate, and that's

31:42

what got you. Yeah, that's what

31:44

got you and then someone come

31:47

into the room and that's just

31:49

playing and then got my mom

31:51

and they got my sister. Everyone's

31:53

starting epileptic pits. Because of this

31:55

video you download. All in the

31:58

background, out of control. That's been

32:00

deep within me for years at

32:02

us. I just didn't know where

32:04

to go. I just didn't know

32:06

where to go. And every time

32:09

I hear that, it always comes

32:11

in my place. It always makes

32:13

me smile. Gives me a little

32:15

grin. Can I? Someone might have

32:18

just heard, I was sort of

32:20

browsing as you were talking there

32:22

and yeah. There's a space, there's

32:24

a website called Space Hey, which

32:26

is like a nostalgic look back

32:29

at MySpace and I clicked on

32:31

one of the profiles, an example

32:33

of the profile and I forgot

32:35

that you would have music playing

32:37

on your MySpace, didn't you? You'd

32:40

have like a landing page music,

32:42

which I loved because you're like,

32:44

shit man, you would have a

32:46

waysis, right? And I would choose

32:48

something, oh this is important, because

32:51

this says something about me, something

32:53

about me, somebody to choose, right?

32:55

For sure. You may remember it

32:57

as a reason. And you'll remember

32:59

it once I've said it. So

33:02

you used it quite a lot.

33:04

B. Was it Bambata? Bambata, United,

33:06

or just Bambata? It was just

33:08

Bumba. Bumba, you know. It was

33:11

my fantasy team. Yeah, it was,

33:13

it was. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah,

33:15

it was just MySpace.com,/Bumba. So remember

33:17

like the time when you're chatting

33:19

to Birds. Are you got MySpace?

33:22

I was like, yeah, what's your

33:24

URL? So it's MySpace.com,/Bumba. What? So

33:26

Bumba, what's yours? It's myspace.com/Sarah H,

33:28

that's my name. So I had

33:30

one. Yeah, go, sorry, go on.

33:33

No, we've got a space story,

33:35

because I've got something, I can

33:37

tell you something like that. No,

33:39

yeah, go on, yeah, yeah, yeah.

33:41

Right. Hello, this is your captain

33:44

and host of Lad Anonymous speaking.

33:46

We want you to know that

33:48

we love you. You're a cherished

33:50

listener, and we hugely appreciate the

33:52

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33:55

podcast. We also want to remind

33:57

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And then you can simply remove

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drama! Enjoy the rest of the

34:46

show lads. So my story that

34:48

my something only I know for

34:50

this is... Oh! So that was

34:52

something you had your own something

34:54

only I know. Didn't that bad?

34:57

No, fucking ill! So I've got

34:59

one. Well it's not, someone else

35:01

knows this. So... Before I met

35:03

my girlfriend I had a computer

35:05

and I used to I had

35:08

I had a I would download

35:10

pictures and MPEGs so it wasn't

35:12

a three minute video it was

35:14

like I didn't even know they

35:16

existed Rick to be honest. So

35:19

I had three seconds of the

35:21

same sex scene over playing over

35:23

and over and over again and

35:25

I don't know if I'm not

35:27

one out to that. Anyway, I

35:30

saved them in a folder or

35:32

on a floppy disk and I

35:34

put it in my drawer. Anyway,

35:36

I got a girlfriend and I

35:39

forgot about that floppy list pretty

35:41

much. Anyway, I was at home

35:43

or at work or something and

35:45

she'd gone down my draws and

35:47

obviously found the floppy disk and

35:50

an orgy and... Other stuff. I

35:52

can't remember what was on to

35:54

do. She went she went crazy

35:56

Really? She left me and wouldn't

35:58

speak to me Oh

36:01

my god! Yeah, this is my

36:03

ex-girlfriend, this is the one you

36:05

knew. What really? Yeah, so we,

36:07

bearing in mind, we were like

36:09

1718 then, and she hadn't, she

36:11

come from a house where pornography

36:13

wasn't prevalent, pornography wasn't prevalent in

36:15

my house either. I was in

36:18

the kitchen trying to get a

36:20

knife and fork at our dad

36:22

you visited. I wonder where that

36:24

was, gal. No, but my old

36:26

man, I did find my old

36:28

man. I did find my old

36:30

man. stash and before the internet

36:33

which was like the greatest day.

36:35

So I'd seen things, I'd seen

36:37

things where she had never and

36:39

so she she left me and

36:41

all that she just thought it

36:43

was crazy and I was like

36:45

playing it on a brother. I

36:47

suppose if you see the world

36:50

drawer. So my as I got

36:52

older I had my own stash

36:54

and my little brother I told

36:56

my little brother where it was.

36:58

And then my mom found it

37:00

and then he blamed me immediately.

37:02

He blamed me immediately. Gary straight

37:05

away. Right, good. Yeah. So yeah,

37:07

that was my one. I've never

37:09

spoken about it. Not that it's

37:11

embarrassing, but she just, she was

37:13

like, no. Like, and this is

37:15

what the internet's done is, it's

37:17

brought porn to everybody. Yeah. In

37:19

a significant way. Like, when we

37:22

were growing up. It was a

37:24

crusade, a pilgrimage to, it's almost

37:26

like they're moving the North London

37:28

Darby to Hong Kong. Yeah, yeah.

37:30

We had to work for porn

37:32

back then. If we wanted to

37:34

see a North London Darby, it's

37:36

like someone in Hong Kong travelling

37:39

to the UK to watch Birds

37:41

versus Arsenal. Yeah, yeah, you got

37:43

to do the graph. We have

37:45

to find it. That's the only

37:47

way we get in the internet

37:49

game. It's like, everywhere, like, weirdly,

37:51

I tried to think the things

37:54

my son and daughter have seen

37:56

already. Yeah,

37:58

go ahead. that is. You've got,

38:00

you've got, you've got parental locks,

38:02

have you? No, no, I don't,

38:04

you're crazy, Rick. I mean, it

38:06

is, part of it is crazy,

38:08

but part of it is self-discovery

38:10

and learning. Yeah, it's not like

38:12

they won't find the way around

38:15

it anyway, is it? No, no,

38:17

and I don't want them to

38:19

be in a situation where they

38:21

are frightened because they don't know

38:23

of... the human body or they

38:25

don't know of a certain thing.

38:27

I remember right I mean this

38:29

is taking a bit of a

38:31

lefter now but I remember as

38:33

a you know 13 14 year

38:35

old boy and being terrified of

38:38

fingering someone because I knew like

38:40

in my mind you know vagina,

38:42

bummer, and I stayed on the

38:44

park and someone said no no

38:46

no there's free holes. It's like

38:48

what? Yeah yeah there's there's one

38:50

where they're we out of there's

38:52

the hole for babies and sex

38:54

and then there's bum hole there's

38:56

free holes and in my mind

38:58

I was like in turmoil how

39:01

do I know which one I'm

39:03

going and like what what do

39:05

I do how do I know

39:07

when I'm going down there like

39:09

which hole will it like anything

39:11

like that so I'm kind of

39:13

glad that there is this access

39:15

to stuff and I don't think

39:17

they'll like be going and searching

39:19

out hardcore pornography or anything like

39:21

that but I think there's probably

39:23

enough out there that they know

39:26

anatomy they know what things look

39:28

like and stuff like that. They've

39:30

seen especially your older daughter has

39:32

seen all kinds of... they're not

39:34

talking about it at school of

39:36

course they are. Yeah I mean

39:38

I do walk around the house

39:40

naked as well often just bowling

39:42

about... What in what way like

39:44

this is my house I do

39:46

what I want kind of attitude

39:49

you well I'm like my I

39:51

think what we need to do

39:53

is get back on track of

39:55

some internet track. I see, so

39:57

you're in your room and they're

39:59

in my room. I'm in my

40:01

room and you're in my room.

40:03

Yeah, but but with her. No,

40:05

I'd be surprised if your oldest

40:07

daughter doesn't know what porn hub

40:09

is. Oh, she does. She will

40:12

do. So if she knows all

40:14

kinds of mental shit on there.

40:16

I think what we need to

40:18

do is we need to get

40:20

back on track of some internet

40:22

track. I really don't want to

40:24

talk about this with. knowing my

40:26

daughter knows what porn habit is

40:28

and going into what she's seeing

40:30

and what she hasn't seen and

40:32

it's just I don't she's 13

40:35

and I remember at 13 what

40:37

I was doing so yeah I

40:39

was rubbing this little genie lamp

40:41

down here I've just found my

40:43

actual computer which of which I

40:45

first accessed the internet on eBay.

40:47

I've just sent you a picture.

40:49

It's my exact computer. I had,

40:51

exact computer I had, which is

40:53

very interesting for people at home,

40:55

but that's where, you know, I

40:57

used to access the internet on

41:00

that computer and I absolutely loved

41:02

it. Oh, fuck, yeah, yeah, yeah,

41:04

oh yeah. Packard belt. I wonder

41:06

if there's people out there that...

41:08

Listen to this pod that have

41:10

no idea of like a tower

41:12

PC. Like my kids, I don't

41:14

think would know what one is.

41:16

They all have like iPads at

41:18

school and stuff like that. Yeah.

41:20

It's just like it's completely like

41:23

a floppy disk, VHS, tape. Like

41:25

my kids, I don't think they

41:27

would have seen any of that

41:29

stuff. It's fun. It's fun to

41:31

show it. I sometimes show the

41:33

kids. stuff from my youth and

41:35

go do you know what that

41:37

is and they're like no like

41:39

a pager no idea yeah I've

41:41

seen a video where a dad

41:43

gets out a you know the

41:46

old handheld telephones where you pick

41:48

your finger in and you spin

41:50

the dial. And they said, I

41:52

want you to call this number

41:54

and you gave them the number

41:56

and they're both looking. And they're

41:58

like, caveman, poker, and they have

42:00

no idea how the fucking thing

42:02

works. Yeah, mad, absolutely mad. So

42:04

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43:03

So talking about stuff that is

43:05

the Dark Web, right? This is,

43:07

this is, I like, I like

43:09

the Dark, like the Dark Web.

43:11

Now, my first kind of, you

43:13

know, experience of something like the

43:15

Dark Web, do you remember there

43:17

was a thing called the Jolly

43:20

Rogers Cookbook? Now the Jolly Rogers

43:22

Cookbook, it was a floppy disk,

43:24

it was like a banned cookbook,

43:26

it was like a banned cookbook,

43:28

it was like a banned cookbook,

43:30

it was like a banned cookbook,

43:32

it was like a banned cookbook,

43:34

it was like a banned cookbook,

43:36

it, it, it was like a

43:38

banned cookbook, that told you all

43:40

the worst stuff in the world.

43:42

So that is how to make

43:45

bombs. how to, how to, I

43:47

mean obviously I'm not gonna make

43:49

a bomb, how to do X,

43:51

Y, Z, all the crazy shit,

43:53

right? So it was banned everywhere

43:55

obviously and I got a copy

43:57

on floppy disk from someone and

43:59

I was like this is fucking

44:01

quality and I was going for

44:03

all these different things on how

44:05

to, I mean obviously I'm not

44:08

gonna make a bomb but just

44:10

trying to find something that I

44:12

could do so that I could

44:14

be naughty. And I learned how

44:16

to, from this jolly Rogers cookbook,

44:18

I learned how to hotwire a

44:20

car. And I remember I was

44:22

14 and I went out with

44:24

my mates walking down this road

44:26

and we found a, like it

44:28

was like an abandoned van. And

44:31

I had a print out of

44:33

the pages of this jolly Rogers

44:35

cookbook on how to hot rare

44:37

a car. And got the wires,

44:39

the guts, the guts. pulled him

44:41

out from the bottom of the

44:43

steering wheel yeah did it work

44:45

like these things work are they

44:47

the jolly Rogers well I mean

44:49

I cut the wires it told

44:51

me to what to do and

44:53

you're supposed to just some random

44:56

person's van that was in the

44:58

actually in their driveway broken into

45:00

yeah I know I know I

45:02

know I know I thought in

45:04

I know, I know, I know,

45:06

I'm a bit, this is a

45:08

bit of a revealing one today.

45:10

Who really did you do this

45:12

with? I can't even remember the

45:14

lads I was with. So you

45:16

broke into some, someone's van to

45:19

hotwire it and then do what?

45:21

Yeah, I don't know, I couldn't

45:23

drive. I had no idea how

45:25

to drive, but I had this

45:27

cookbook which told me to get

45:29

these wires from underneath the steer

45:31

and wheel. Is this near your

45:33

house, Rick? A couple of states

45:35

over. So this is in a

45:37

paper. So you covered all bases.

45:39

And then, right, I had these

45:42

wires and my mates were in

45:44

the back and I was tapping

45:46

these wires trying to get them

45:48

to spark so I could. start

45:50

it up. Then all of a

45:52

sudden, from out of nowhere, a

45:54

big tap on the window and

45:56

I was like, what the fuck

45:58

is that? I looked to my

46:00

right, it was a flashlight. I

46:02

opened the door. It was two

46:05

place officers. Oh my God! Hotwaring

46:07

around. Yeah. Oh my God, Rick,

46:09

how have you never mentioned this?

46:11

I don't know. I think I

46:13

have mentioned it before. No, I

46:15

would have remembered. I would have

46:17

remembered. 100% remembered. How have we

46:19

known each other 20 years and

46:21

you never told me the story

46:23

where you try, hit in the

46:25

middle of the, where was it,

46:27

what time was like? Yeah, it

46:30

was not. It was definitely a

46:32

night 10. It was dark. Come

46:34

up with the idea of. breaking

46:36

into a vehicle pulling out the

46:38

wires hot wiring it meanwhile having

46:40

no idea what to how to

46:42

drive and then a police officer

46:44

finding you do it no you

46:46

haven't said told me about this

46:48

no sorry mate yeah I am

46:50

I did and I got got

46:53

pulled out they took our name

46:55

took our dresses and all that

46:57

lot all the shit you did

46:59

as a teenager I would you

47:01

probably think you this is a

47:03

problem child this is gonna grow

47:05

up in the amounts of nothing

47:07

I just thought that's what young

47:09

boys did didn't they? Yeah, I

47:11

mean there was kids in my

47:13

school that took their dad's car

47:16

and drove around in it. Yeah,

47:18

maybe not hot wiring cars. Breaking

47:20

someone's fucking work van and then

47:22

trying not wire it to drive

47:24

away. No Rick. No, I mean,

47:26

I was scared of the repercussions.

47:28

No, I was with my mates.

47:30

We were just like proper brazen.

47:32

But wouldn't your mum absolutely rip

47:34

you a new one at home?

47:38

She would, but it would impact

47:40

you, but she's scared of it,

47:42

of the idea of it. No,

47:45

no, no. So my mum brought

47:47

my sister and I up, and

47:49

she nearly always had kind of

47:52

two jobs or worked long shifts.

47:54

So that kind of, and where

47:56

I lived, it was all the

47:59

street that I lived down. it

48:01

was all single parents, basically single

48:04

moms raising children, no dads, and

48:06

we would rove around in packs

48:08

of young boys and just get

48:11

up to mischief really. So we

48:13

didn't, yeah, we didn't really fucking

48:15

care really, it was just like

48:18

young... No, I know, but most

48:20

people would do, like the reasons

48:22

why most kids don't break into

48:25

vans and try and hotwire it

48:27

is because I would be scared

48:29

that my dad would have... struggle

48:32

me up literally but if your

48:34

mum's working and she's not there

48:36

then that you're not that really

48:39

it's not really there is it

48:41

no it wasn't there that fear

48:43

that fear wasn't there no yeah

48:46

but in the end the police

48:48

officers because they said it's so

48:51

weird because the police officers said

48:53

there was no real damage that

48:55

I could go I was fine,

48:58

I was fine, really. I know,

49:00

so we just got, we just

49:02

got to walk, we carried on

49:05

walking down the lane, got around

49:07

the corner and then we all

49:09

ran, all shit ourselves, but nothing

49:12

actually, nothing really happened to us,

49:14

which is, it's fucking mental to

49:16

think about, really. You download it,

49:19

it is mental, you downloaded it

49:21

and printed it off. I loved

49:23

it, you had to report yourself

49:26

as printout. Yeah, I know, I

49:28

had proper had a print printout

49:31

printout, so it was like, like,

49:33

you know, Structions how hot where

49:35

I car. It's like amazing. Yeah,

49:38

yeah, that's exactly what I've got.

49:40

I don't evidence, fucking mental. What,

49:42

just before, like, so the dark

49:45

web, right? The stuff that you

49:47

can find on the dark web,

49:49

just had little, little look. Stolen

49:52

credit cards and identity information. Yeah.

49:54

Fake passports and ID. You ever

49:56

had any need for that? Passport.

49:59

I'll tell you what I'd bought

50:01

from it. Hacking services like dot

50:03

attacks, counterfeit money, I've never had

50:06

any... Anything for that? Drugs and

50:08

prescription medicines? Have you ever done

50:11

anything like that? Yeah. Weapons and

50:13

explosives? No. When I first read

50:15

this, I thought there was organic

50:18

traffic. And I said, so people

50:20

pay people online to get more

50:22

traffic to their website. It's like,

50:25

that's fucking, ooh, scary. No, organ

50:27

trafficking. Misread it. Now as it

50:29

is bad, don't do that. Well

50:32

if you need a liver, I

50:34

didn't need a liver, it ain't

50:36

bad. Where does it come from?

50:39

Hit men for hire, human traffic

50:41

and smuggling, and do you know

50:43

what this is? Red rooms. No.

50:46

Red rooms are live streamed. torture

50:48

sessions. Yeah, I mean that is,

50:51

I know that, so there's three

50:53

different types of web. So I've

50:55

used a dark web and I've

50:58

never come across any of that,

51:00

right? So many people are looking

51:02

for that stuff, like anything, they'll

51:05

find it. So there's three different

51:07

aspects to the internet. There's the

51:09

internet we use every day, which

51:12

is like Google and Wikipedia and

51:14

YouTube and the general stuff. And

51:16

then there's like the deep web

51:19

which is like records and government

51:21

resources and reports and documents and

51:23

the information that we need to

51:26

make the internet interesting, right? That's

51:28

what exists in the deep web

51:31

and some of it will never

51:33

be seen again. Some of it's

51:35

seen every day, but it exists

51:38

there so that you can recall

51:40

anything at any time. That's what's

51:42

amazing about the internet. If you

51:45

would have told our predecessors that

51:47

there would be a device where

51:49

you could ask it a question

51:52

about anything that your mind could

51:54

possibly conceive and it will give

51:56

you an answer, that's like you've

51:59

created God. Yeah that

52:01

is actually. It's incredible. Like it's

52:03

insane. It's insane and we take

52:05

it for granted now. Like it's

52:07

the greatest invention man has ever

52:09

made. We thought just a minute

52:11

ago which and we thought in

52:13

Carter back then. And look at

52:15

us now. Look at us like

52:17

whoever thought. We thought the in

52:19

Carter. We thought how it's like

52:22

a video and a little this.

52:24

And then you've got the dark

52:26

web which exists on all of

52:28

this. is to access material. It's

52:30

basically if you want to do

52:32

something you can not get caught,

52:34

then you use the dark web.

52:36

So you use a browser that

52:38

is encrypted so that your personal

52:40

information, your location, your IP address

52:42

cannot be accessed by the police

52:44

or any, or your ISP. And

52:46

then once you have that, which

52:48

isn't a case of going on

52:51

Google and saying, can I get

52:53

access to the dark web? That's

52:55

not how it works. You have

52:57

to download a browser that's specifically

52:59

designed to access it and hide

53:01

your IP address and encrypt it.

53:03

It's called a tour browser. Things

53:05

might have changed, but when I

53:07

did it, that's what it would.

53:09

Just quickly, if you didn't know

53:11

how to get a, you know,

53:13

some kind of internet protection, could

53:15

you recommend a brand or anything,

53:17

anywhere where to get... Yeah, I

53:20

mean if you want to browse

53:22

the dark web, you could access

53:24

Nord VPN,/the fighting cock, sign up.

53:26

Good, nothing. You want to get

53:28

paid for this read, do you

53:30

Rick? No, no, no, no. No,

53:32

no. I mean, yeah, if anyone

53:34

signs, let us know if you

53:36

sign up to Nord VPN, if

53:38

one person does, I'll give Rick,

53:40

had payment. Anyway, NordVpN.com4 slash a

53:42

fine call. If you're going on

53:44

the dark web, you need a

53:46

VPN to protect you from some

53:49

of the evil stuff. There's no

53:51

protection on the dark web. You

53:53

open, well, there is. You still,

53:55

you're fired, you've got your, you've

53:57

got your firewall, you've got your,

53:59

your VPN, you've got things like

54:01

malware bites, things that track that

54:03

sort of stuff and protect your

54:05

computer. but it's, you're opening yourself

54:07

up to different challenges. Anyway, that

54:09

was, it's quite a faf to

54:11

do it, and drug dealing as

54:13

ever, and prostitution, all these things,

54:15

and porn, sex, or find a

54:18

way of making things easier to

54:20

get to you. So the dark

54:22

web essentially became redundant, especially for

54:24

if you're buying things like drugs,

54:26

weed, whatever you want. Yeah, pills,

54:28

cocaine, the, the, the... During lockdown,

54:30

it exploded in being able to

54:32

access this stuff and buy this

54:34

stuff through on the web and

54:36

through the postal system, get it

54:38

sent to your house. They moved

54:40

over to things like telegram, which

54:42

are messaging, which is like WhatsApp,

54:44

but it's encrypted. So the police

54:47

can't see it. Things have changed

54:49

and laws have changed and it's

54:51

not as secure as it used

54:53

to be. But back then, it

54:55

was fine. So instead of browsing

54:57

the dark web and... You know

54:59

potentially getting into areas you don't

55:01

want to get into some of

55:03

the horror stuff that you've said

55:05

and definitely exists by the way

55:07

You know torture rooms fucking all

55:09

the worst shit you can imagine

55:11

is on the dark web That

55:13

you could safely go on telegram

55:16

and You could buy whatever you

55:18

wanted and have it sent to

55:20

your house and I did a

55:22

lot It was

55:24

great man, I tell you the

55:26

best bit and it's not great

55:29

and I wouldn't sort of recommend

55:31

anyone ever taking drugs and like

55:33

I sound like nearly a hundred

55:35

days sober now so but I

55:38

wouldn't recommend anybody doing this but

55:40

but there was an incredible novelty

55:42

to just going on telegram sending

55:44

them some Bitcoin putting in your

55:47

address and then waiting for the

55:49

postman to delivery the gear was

55:51

yeah. I don't think I remember,

55:54

I'll recapture that buzz every time.

55:56

No, it was a really lockdown

55:58

was really, yeah, during lockdown it

56:00

was a very buzzy period. for

56:03

everyone yeah and what you could

56:05

order and the different things you

56:07

could order and it would literally

56:09

get delivered to your house was

56:12

fucking incredible I was always a

56:14

bit leer bets about it I

56:16

was always like like people saying

56:19

pills and you don't want to

56:21

do it because you might be

56:23

leer bets so I was always

56:25

a bit sketchy about it but

56:28

I very much enjoyed everybody's I

56:30

ordered something that came by accident

56:32

that he was interested in and

56:34

so I didn't want to get

56:37

you. No, I don't know what

56:39

it was actually. Let me tell

56:41

you something that didn't happen to

56:44

me and this isn't, didn't happen

56:46

to my friend either. Right. I

56:48

ordered something I didn't, that came

56:50

by accident that he was interested

56:53

in. And so I didn't want

56:55

it and I said, do you

56:57

want this? And he said yes.

56:59

And so I sent it to

57:02

him and it didn't arrive and

57:04

he was like it'd be like

57:06

a paranoid person anyway and he

57:08

was like it's not arrived days

57:11

past still not arrived still not

57:13

arrived a week past still not

57:15

arrived oh no two weeks and

57:18

was like it's been intercepted forget

57:20

about it and he's like well

57:22

if police turn up no that

57:24

and I'm sure it'd be fine

57:27

but that's not much I can

57:29

do if they do so you're

57:31

on your own yeah you're going

57:33

to prison boy anyway but three

57:36

weeks later it turned up ripped

57:38

open package in ripped open with

57:40

an apology note from the royal

57:43

mouth to say in it was

57:45

checked for drugs but we couldn't

57:47

find we tested it and we

57:49

couldn't find any drugs there was

57:52

drugs in there oh my god

57:54

just not the drugs they were

57:56

looking for Right, right, I see,

57:58

I see. got it. I'm sure he's

58:01

used it by now. It was it was quite a

58:03

niche thing. It was quite a niche thing.

58:05

Amazing. I am going to read out this

58:07

to finish this off. I'm going to

58:09

read out this email that we got

58:11

to send in. I think we should

58:13

do another episode about the internet. There's

58:15

tons and tons and tons we haven't

58:17

spoken about. There's so much stuff that

58:19

I've got written down here that I've just

58:22

did. We'll definitely do a part two but I

58:24

have to read. this email out and I'm going

58:26

to go into it because it's a bit of

58:28

a hefty one, it's beautiful. Loving

58:30

the Pods, last episode you mentioned the

58:33

possibility of an episode about the internet

58:35

and the question for people out there

58:37

being what's the most mental thing you've

58:39

ever done on the internet? I know

58:41

it ain't next week's topic, however I

58:44

have the perfect story. to

58:46

share and I got excited because

58:48

I've never had any stories to

58:50

share in anything like that. Feel

58:53

free to use if this ever

58:55

makes the pod. Let me preface

58:57

this by saying I'm from Iceland.

58:59

Right, so fucking mate ease from

59:02

Iceland to begin with. Gee! Explaining

59:05

possibly some cultural differences or

59:07

something you may find weird,

59:09

all currencies are converted to

59:11

US dollars to be easier

59:14

to understand and are rough

59:16

estimates based on memory and

59:18

googling of prices back then.

59:20

The most mental thing I've

59:22

done on the internet, back in

59:25

2011, I was in eighth grade

59:27

and dreamed of owning an iPod

59:29

Touch. I walked from house to

59:31

house ringing their door about asking

59:33

people if they could donate empty

59:36

bottles and cans that they could

59:38

take to recycle to receive a

59:40

few cents for each bottle

59:42

or can be returned. I quickly

59:44

learned if I lied I was

59:46

collecting them for the Red Cross

59:49

people were more likely to donate

59:51

if I told them I was saving

59:53

up sorry if I told them

59:55

I was doing it for charity.

59:57

They'd be more willing to give me the

59:59

money. rather than telling them I

1:00:01

wanted an iPod. Anyways, after a

1:00:04

few months of going every week

1:00:06

or so round the neighbourhood, I'd

1:00:08

saved up about $300 of the

1:00:10

500 I needed to buy the

1:00:13

iPod. One day, my classmate, who

1:00:15

was not a bright lad at

1:00:17

all, had learned about the dark

1:00:19

net marketplaces. His brother was a

1:00:22

well-known drug dealer in the neighbourhood.

1:00:24

So the two of them thought

1:00:26

this would be a goldmine. The

1:00:28

issue was that they did not

1:00:31

know how to access the dark

1:00:33

web or buy Bitcoin. So he

1:00:35

came to me for help, as

1:00:37

I knew. As he knew, I

1:00:40

was active on hacker forums back

1:00:42

then. That was... That is when

1:00:44

I had the brilliant idea of

1:00:46

ordering things off the dark web

1:00:49

for him for 100% markup. I

1:00:51

do not remember if this is

1:00:53

before the time of cryptocurrency exchanges

1:00:55

if I was too young to

1:00:58

sign up to them. Whatever the

1:01:00

reason was, I took about $100

1:01:02

of my hard-earned recycling cash, walked

1:01:04

on my local post office and

1:01:07

sent it off via Western Union

1:01:09

to a random Russian bloke that

1:01:11

had been in contact. that I'd

1:01:13

been in contact with on the

1:01:16

hacker forum. Magicly, he held up

1:01:18

his part of the deal and

1:01:20

sent me the Bitcoin. After receiving

1:01:22

the Bitcoin, I ordered the MDMA,

1:01:25

my idiotic classmate, wanted, and had

1:01:27

it sent to a fake name

1:01:29

and address we knew was an

1:01:31

empty apartment. So he could just

1:01:34

check the postbox regularly. The package

1:01:36

never arrived. My classmate

1:01:38

was convinced it never arrived because

1:01:40

the name on the package was

1:01:42

fake. He wanted to try again,

1:01:44

but this time sent it to

1:01:47

his apartment in his name. I

1:01:49

said, no way, this is a

1:01:51

scam. I've already lost a hundred

1:01:53

dollars and I'm saving up for

1:01:55

an iPod touch. That's when he

1:01:57

offered me his brand new iPod.

1:02:00

If I'd spend all... my 300

1:02:02

dollars on another order of darknet

1:02:04

MDMA. So that's what I did.

1:02:06

Again, Bitcoin bought through this random

1:02:08

Russian bloke and already was placed

1:02:10

on the darknet this time sent

1:02:13

to my classmate's house in his

1:02:15

name. He gave me his iPod

1:02:17

and I'd finally done it. I

1:02:19

hustled my way up from zero

1:02:21

to the iPod I wanted so

1:02:24

badly. I was immensely proud of

1:02:26

myself. A few days later. We're

1:02:28

sitting in math glass when my

1:02:30

classmate gets told he has to

1:02:32

go see the school principal. Nothing

1:02:34

unusual. He's always getting sent there

1:02:37

anyway. Maybe half an hour later

1:02:39

my teacher tells me I have

1:02:41

to go to the school principal

1:02:43

as well. I did not understand

1:02:45

why and was quite confused. I

1:02:47

still hadn't connected the dots. As

1:02:50

I walked to the principal's office

1:02:52

I'm greeted by two police officers.

1:02:54

I nearly pissed myself I was

1:02:56

so scared. Of course, the place

1:02:58

had intercepted the package. My classmate

1:03:01

ratted me out immediately and even

1:03:03

told them that he'd stolen the

1:03:05

iPod that was now mine. The

1:03:07

police took my iPod and drove

1:03:09

me to the station where my

1:03:11

mother was waiting for me. The

1:03:14

police had called her and she'd

1:03:16

handed my laptop over to them

1:03:18

which was confiscated as well as

1:03:20

my new iPod. In the end

1:03:22

I'm quite happy with all how

1:03:24

all this went down. I really

1:03:27

did learn a valuable life lesson

1:03:29

here at 14. The following Christmas

1:03:31

I got an iPod touch having

1:03:33

spent the previous months without any

1:03:35

technology apart from my old Nokia

1:03:37

button phone. I learned that a

1:03:40

life of crime is not worth

1:03:42

it. As for my classmate I

1:03:44

see from his socials that he

1:03:46

seems to be involved in some

1:03:48

strict club business in Albania nowadays.

1:03:51

Yes some people never learn. I

1:03:53

mean that is... You're 14 doing

1:03:55

that. Money sent to Russian people

1:03:57

to give you Bitcoin people to

1:03:59

give you Bitcoin. to buy MDMA.

1:04:01

But there is, but the most

1:04:04

interesting part of that story is

1:04:06

what you can do to get

1:04:08

what you need. Like so in

1:04:10

this instance he needed an iPod

1:04:12

touch and he found the way

1:04:14

to, like he said, hustle up

1:04:17

to a point where he got

1:04:19

what he wanted. All right, you

1:04:21

don't supply drugs in order to,

1:04:23

you know, because it's likely you

1:04:25

can end up arrested in jail,

1:04:28

but the bottletop stuff and the...

1:04:30

Cans and the Donating and all

1:04:32

right, you're 14, you're gonna be

1:04:34

a little bit. An entrepreneur, mate.

1:04:36

Yeah, we say now, yeah, yeah,

1:04:38

yeah, good, you know, in a

1:04:41

way, but don't, you know, buy

1:04:43

drugs off the internet, yeah, yeah,

1:04:45

to do all that. Unless you're

1:04:47

sort of 40. No. And having

1:04:49

fun around a mate's house. Yeah,

1:04:51

yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a

1:04:54

global pandemic, there's nothing else to

1:04:56

do. Exactly, exactly. So, you know,

1:04:58

take all that with a picture.

1:05:00

So, we're not going to do

1:05:02

dilemmas this week. We're only going

1:05:05

to go straight into something on

1:05:07

you know. And the name of

1:05:09

that is called, Am I a

1:05:11

bad friend? Now the topic, the

1:05:13

next week, is what's the top

1:05:15

item on your bucket list before

1:05:18

you die? Is there a country

1:05:20

you're desperate to visit? And why?

1:05:22

A specific mountain range, you have

1:05:24

to see the sunrise over, maybe

1:05:26

cage dive. with great white sharks

1:05:28

skydiving trying iowaska going to Peru

1:05:31

and meeting the shamans so what

1:05:33

is your bucket list the things

1:05:35

that you want to do now

1:05:37

i want to try i want

1:05:39

to try herring do you know

1:05:41

what i was going to put

1:05:44

that in the list because i

1:05:46

wanted to do that as well

1:05:48

just when i'm older yeah and

1:05:50

i'm not really at the end

1:05:52

yeah It's just a little, just

1:05:55

a little, just a little, just

1:05:57

a, when you're financially secure. Well,

1:05:59

no, not now. Why not just

1:06:01

secure, right? Okay. No, no, I'm

1:06:03

not saying now, I'm saying when,

1:06:05

no, I'm not, I'm not saying

1:06:08

now, I'm. saying when I'm when

1:06:10

the mortgage is paid and I

1:06:12

don't I have to worry because

1:06:14

at the end you're like well

1:06:16

I'm a little bit concerned about

1:06:18

you know death and not existing

1:06:21

anymore I want to be like

1:06:23

chilled I'm like right now get

1:06:25

the needle right right me and

1:06:27

you're it we're gonna kill it

1:06:29

okay yeah I'm up for that

1:06:32

I'm up for a little pot

1:06:34

about it after It was the

1:06:36

best! I was there again! I

1:06:38

knew it was going to be

1:06:40

that good! And we all go,

1:06:42

it's all a big taboo! It's

1:06:45

all a big, it's all, what

1:06:47

is it? What are you saying

1:06:49

is like? It's here we're having

1:06:51

to eat it. It's great. Go

1:06:53

cheapers. Great. I know people have

1:06:55

done it. And they're right. They

1:06:58

go, like, what, what, injectees or

1:07:00

smokies? No, smokies. Right, okay. Yeah,

1:07:02

I'd like to, I'd like to

1:07:04

try that as well. No, we're

1:07:06

doing Injectives. Me and you're doing,

1:07:09

I'll inject you, Injectives. Right, okay,

1:07:11

done, done, done. So if you've

1:07:13

got a bucket list, uh, story,

1:07:15

or if you want to submit

1:07:17

something, lads, a non-pod at gmail,

1:07:19

we'd love to hear from you.

1:07:22

And now we're going to jump

1:07:24

into something only you know. When

1:07:26

I was 18 and at 6th

1:07:28

form I had a crush on

1:07:30

this girl and knew one of

1:07:32

my mates also had a crush

1:07:35

So I decided to do nothing

1:07:37

as I didn't want to ruin

1:07:39

our friendship Until I had this

1:07:41

party and invited her to it

1:07:43

Long story short. She only lived

1:07:45

around the corner and when everyone

1:07:48

left we both ended up getting

1:07:50

tipsy and I lost my virginity

1:07:52

to her I told one of

1:07:54

my friends about the night and

1:07:56

us sleeping together and he ended

1:07:59

up telling me that the other

1:08:01

friend who had a crush on

1:08:03

her shagder and lost her virginity

1:08:05

to her last week. Before here.

1:08:07

I know, before I did, they

1:08:09

did that before I did, and

1:08:12

that they were secretly boyfriend and

1:08:14

girlfriend. Hold on. Yeah, I know.

1:08:16

Obviously, where did she live? What's

1:08:18

her number? Obviously I was slightly

1:08:20

heartbroken as I did like her

1:08:22

but also the fact I shagged

1:08:25

my mate's girlfriend made me feel

1:08:27

awful but I decided to keep

1:08:29

my mouth shut. I knew it

1:08:31

wouldn't cause any good and didn't

1:08:33

want everyone to hate me. A

1:08:36

couple of months later they ended

1:08:38

up breaking up and I told

1:08:40

my friend what happened and at

1:08:42

the end of the day we

1:08:44

had a laugh about it and

1:08:46

enjoyed a lovely point together. Fast

1:08:49

forward a couple of years, I'm

1:08:51

now at university. and invite the

1:08:53

same friend for a night out

1:08:55

and he brings his sister along

1:08:57

too. We go to this club

1:08:59

and when I return from the

1:09:02

bogs for a piss I see

1:09:04

his sister alone at the bar.

1:09:06

I go to keep her company

1:09:08

and protect her from a strange

1:09:10

bloke as I also consider her

1:09:13

a mate. After a flirty chat,

1:09:15

we both end up snogging. That

1:09:17

was not my intention when I

1:09:19

went to it at the bar.

1:09:21

It just slipped in. Yes, I

1:09:23

didn't mean to do that, right?

1:09:26

My mate didn't see me get

1:09:28

off with his sister as he

1:09:30

was too busy chatting up some

1:09:32

girl. After the night out, we

1:09:34

all went back to my flat,

1:09:36

my mate passes out on the

1:09:39

bed and I lay on the

1:09:41

end of it sideways. Right, okay,

1:09:43

my mate passes out and at

1:09:45

the end of the bed I

1:09:47

lay on it sideways. She then

1:09:49

puts herself in front of me,

1:09:52

pushing her ass into me. Uh-oh.

1:09:54

This is where I get caught

1:09:56

in two minds and I felt

1:09:58

like I had the devil and

1:10:00

angel on both. my shoulders. After

1:10:03

a long time on deciding what

1:10:05

is the best course of action

1:10:07

to take. She must have got

1:10:09

fed up waiting. She put her

1:10:11

hands down my pants and started

1:10:13

wanking me off. Good. Yeah, I

1:10:16

stopped it before I could finish

1:10:18

as all of a sudden the

1:10:20

realization of what was happening gave

1:10:22

me a mental block. They both

1:10:24

left in the morning and even

1:10:26

though that was two years ago.

1:10:29

and the sister now has a

1:10:31

boyfriend she still occasionally gives me

1:10:33

a cheeky flirt every time I

1:10:35

see her and that is something

1:10:37

only I know am I a

1:10:40

bad friend for Shag and his

1:10:42

girlfriend and getting tossed off by

1:10:44

sister nah you're fine no I

1:10:46

think you're fine mate getting they

1:10:48

get you know the girlfriend not

1:10:50

my sister is it and see

1:10:53

that and see And also, the

1:10:55

tossed off bit, you said you

1:10:57

didn't, e-jack, so it doesn't really

1:10:59

count, so you're supposed to be

1:11:01

there. Didn't ask for it either,

1:11:03

so it's really on early, isn't

1:11:06

it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're safe

1:11:08

mate, you're safe. You're molested if

1:11:10

anything. Yeah, call the police on

1:11:12

us. It reminds me of that

1:11:14

episode in Peep Show where Mark

1:11:17

gets. Melested by that girl. What

1:11:19

happened? Well he's he's he's he's

1:11:21

laying in bed and that girl

1:11:23

comes she starts she gets on

1:11:25

top of him and he doesn't

1:11:27

really want to have sex of

1:11:30

her and she's just like she

1:11:32

just sticks it in her anyway

1:11:34

and rides him and then he's

1:11:36

talking to Jeremy the next morning

1:11:38

he just says it was a

1:11:40

bit of a weird thing and

1:11:43

he's like Mark. You were, you

1:11:45

were raped Mark. And then the

1:11:47

super hands comes in and he

1:11:49

goes, oh you're right guys, he

1:11:51

goes, well be careful, Mark was

1:11:53

raped. I watch it, it's fucking

1:11:56

amazing. So Nick. So good Peter,

1:11:58

so good. So next week, the

1:12:00

top. pick pick your

1:12:02

bucket of things

1:12:04

you want to

1:12:07

do, email us to

1:12:09

do. Email us at gmail

1:12:11

.com and until

1:12:13

then we will

1:12:15

see you next then

1:12:17

we will see you next Monday.

1:12:20

Are them nights, hazy light? Band

1:12:22

of brothers playing tunes high as

1:12:24

kites. Midnight waves, surfing through till

1:12:26

daylight breaks. Rhythm hit us different

1:12:28

ways. Love and music's how we

1:12:30

prayed. With our tongues in cheek.

1:12:33

Band is how we like to

1:12:35

speak. And but no

1:12:37

matter what the

1:12:39

bond remains, change, but

1:12:41

no matter what, the bond remains.

1:12:44

Brothers.