0:02

This is Let's Be Clear with Shannon Dorny.

0:08

We're back with another episode of

0:10

Let's Be Clear, and today I

0:12

am joined by my absolute best

0:15

friend in the entire world, Chris

0:17

Cretazzo, renowned real estate

0:19

agent and the man who has

0:21

had my heart from day one. I

0:24

love you, Chris, I love you.

0:25

To Shannon Doty, I'm so happy

0:27

that you're here.

0:30

I feel like I don't know, it's it's

0:32

like I didn't feel anything was right until

0:35

like you did this with me.

0:37

Well, I cannot write to do it with you.

0:39

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. A

0:41

lot of people have asked me how

0:44

we met, So can you explain

0:47

how we met.

0:48

We met on a showing and you

0:50

were with your beautiful mom and dad and

0:53

they said to you when they met

0:55

me, you're going to be marrying this man, and

0:58

their prediction will come true.

1:01

That is true. So we yes. Chris

1:05

was my father's like dream guy for

1:07

me, still my mother's dream guy for

1:09

me. And it's excellent

1:11

because you have two children and

1:14

so it's like a it's built in family.

1:16

It's a built in family, is right.

1:17

It's so awesome for

1:19

me.

1:20

And you're the best basically.

1:23

Mama, Mama. I mean

1:25

now, I am right. Your daughter scared

1:27

me to death.

1:28

She is a very powerful

1:30

soul.

1:31

Oh so his kids names

1:33

for our listeners are and Yellow and More.

1:36

Just in case you didn't know, Chris is obviously Italian

1:39

last name car

1:42

but then you have like Ann Yello and

1:45

Amore, so obviously he's very

1:47

Italian. And

1:50

and Yellow was always kind of like easy for

1:52

me, but a more Oh

1:55

my goodness. She would look at

1:57

me, just look at me

1:59

with like ew like who

2:01

are you lady? Or she would

2:04

cry like the minute I would try

2:06

to like hold her or touch her.

2:09

She was not having it. And

2:12

I have never been scared of a kid

2:14

before. I'm excellent with children, and

2:17

this kid scared

2:19

me to death.

2:21

And have to be honest with you, it actually

2:24

thrilled me because you're afraid of no.

2:27

One, no one except

2:29

for Amore Amour.

2:31

That is one powerful spirit.

2:34

Aunt. You know what, You stuck

2:36

with it, and she loves

2:38

you. All she wants to do is go to Anti Shannon's.

2:41

So I my tactic was

2:44

to start ignoring her when

2:46

I would come over. I don't like I think I discussed

2:48

it with you.

2:49

But you came on too strong.

2:50

I came on too strong at first. And

2:53

what I realized, and what Chris talked to me about,

2:55

is that she could

2:58

basically be my kid because

3:00

our personalities are very similar.

3:03

So when you come on too strong with me, I get

3:05

a little wary. I get suspicious of

3:07

you. And that's

3:10

what happened with me and Amorey came

3:12

on too strong. I really wanted her to love me. I

3:14

wanted to start developing this relationship with her,

3:16

like right out of the gate, because I've

3:19

always wanted a little girl, like just

3:21

always wanted a little girl. So I

3:25

was like, Okay, she's mine, she's mine, she's

3:27

mine, she's gonna love me. I'm going to make her love me. And

3:29

it was too much. So then I was like, all right, I'm

3:31

going to ignore her, and I did,

3:33

and she would kind of like when I would walk in

3:36

the house and I would be like and yello and

3:38

amour. I just wouldn't even say hi to Moray

3:40

and she I would like glance at her and she would

3:42

look at me with this like suspicious

3:45

almost like she would like tilt her head a

3:48

little bit, almost like a t rex does.

3:51

It was the raptors drassword Park

3:53

totally.

3:53

That's what she reminds me of. Sweet And

3:58

I just kept going with that because I'm like, Okay, least

4:01

at least I'm intriguing her now, which

4:04

is great, and I'm throwing her off

4:06

her game because now I don't

4:08

want anything from her. Do you remember

4:10

when I called you and told you that there was a breakthrough? I

4:13

do outside Christie's

4:16

and I was there,

4:19

having like an very early dinner because

4:21

I loved like the Senior Citizen early bird

4:23

specials. It's our thing,

4:26

and like, if we're

4:28

not at dinner by five point thirty, we just won't

4:30

even bother going to dinner. We're

4:34

so pathetic, but I love

4:36

it. It makes me so happy. And

4:38

they were playing, and so I

4:41

kind of like went out there to say hi to

4:43

an yellow and Amore sort

4:45

of stood next to me and she handed me

4:48

her straw, and

4:52

I like I had to leave. I

4:54

was like, thank you, and I had to go because

4:56

I started crying, and I called you and I was

4:58

like, we had a breakthrough. We had a breakthrough.

5:01

She gave me her straw.

5:02

This is so exciting.

5:03

And then the other breakthrough actually came very recently.

5:07

Then I had you guys, over

5:09

for pizza night at the house.

5:11

That sealed. That was the

5:13

ceiling of your bond. Yes, sure,

5:16

yes, And all they say is every Sunday

5:19

are we going to Anti Shamman's.

5:21

And the answer should be yes, every Sunday.

5:23

So we'll see you this Sunday.

5:24

Absolutely you will. I

5:27

actually have pizza dough mate, great,

5:31

So right, So that's okay. So we met. I

5:33

don't even know how. I mean, was

5:35

I like twenty twenty one.

5:37

Twenty something years ago? Is it? No?

5:39

It was longer than that when we met thirty

5:42

years ago.

5:42

Yes, no, way, yeah,

5:47

I got another glass of wine.

5:49

I know. Well, you got to finish that one first. It

5:52

wasn't like we became best friends instantly.

5:54

No, but we were intrigued with each other.

5:57

Yes, well I wanted

5:59

to date you and you wanted to sell me a

6:01

house.

6:03

Eventually I did.

6:06

But our bonding moment was

6:08

when my dad passed, and

6:12

we had such an appreciation for

6:15

our love for our parents, and

6:17

I loved that about you. That

6:19

was what really cemented

6:22

my respect and love for you is

6:24

how great you were with your mom and dad.

6:27

They reigned supreme in your life, and they reigned

6:29

supreme in my life. And I lost

6:31

my dad first. And then

6:33

when I got the call that your dad

6:36

passed, I instantly have

6:38

you go up to the ranch, which is the most healing

6:40

property in the world, and

6:43

you and your moment up there and just nestled

6:45

in and healed as

6:48

best you could.

6:49

Yes, it was it

6:51

was the first time since

6:54

my dad had passed

6:56

away. And

6:58

you know, he passed away in a way that like I

7:01

as you know, I wasn't settled

7:03

with because definitely not I

7:05

was. There wasn't a

7:07

time he didn't go in the hospital. There wasn't a time

7:09

that he you know, when he had I

7:12

don't even know, like nine heart attacks, ten

7:14

strokes, eleven strokes, quintuple

7:16

bypass, heart surgery, full kidney failure.

7:19

There wasn't one time that I wasn't

7:21

present. And I

7:24

went on a book tour and

7:26

I was in New York when he

7:29

got rushed to the hospital and I left

7:31

all my clothes in the in the hotel room,

7:34

like just grabbed

7:37

a taxi, ran to the airport.

7:40

And I got to the airport and my

7:42

mom called me and said he's gone. And

7:46

you know, then it like once

7:48

I landed, it became about

7:51

getting my mom through it getting my brother

7:53

through it, like picking

7:56

out a casket, like figuring

7:58

out how the service was going

8:00

to go down, who should

8:02

be there. It was like a really weird

8:06

thing. So I just went on you

8:09

know, remote control. I was like a robot.

8:11

It was like, you know, like a rumba,

8:13

like going around you were, by

8:15

the way, I really need one of those things

8:18

going around your house and like automatically vacuuming.

8:21

I was just on autopilot.

8:23

And well, you're in shock mode.

8:26

I was in shock and

8:29

I couldn't hear him, and

8:32

it was freaking me out that, like

8:35

I couldn't hear my dad because I was used to

8:37

speaking to him every day, multiple

8:39

times a day and seeing him

8:42

all the time. So when

8:45

you said after

8:47

his service, you were like, go

8:49

to the ranch. Go to the ranch. It's a ranch

8:52

up in the in the mountains of Malibu.

8:54

You were like, go, it's healing, it's everything.

8:57

And I went. We were in

9:00

side. We had just you know, had some

9:02

food and because

9:04

you made sure that there was food there for us,

9:06

like everything, and there

9:09

was this wind and probably what

9:11

some people don't know about me, you know this

9:14

is that I'm Native American Indian, I'm part

9:16

Native American Indian and

9:19

I feel that tie all the time

9:22

to that that part of my heritage and

9:25

where Chris's Ranches is surrounded

9:27

by like Indian

9:29

sacred ground. Really

9:32

yeah. And I went outside

9:35

and I set on the steps

9:37

outside and just

9:40

sat there and I was like, why

9:43

can't like I can't believe, like I don't

9:45

get to talk to my dad again. And this

9:48

wind picked up and

9:52

I heard my father and

9:54

his arms literally I felt his

9:56

I know it gives you his I

9:58

felt his arms go around me and

10:01

he said it's gonna be okay, baby,

10:03

I love you. I'm here, And

10:05

I was like, oh

10:10

my god, like he is still

10:12

here, like he's everywhere,

10:14

He's everywhere. Yeah, And it was

10:17

such a crazy powerful

10:19

moment and something that I

10:23

know, I thank you for giving me that moment.

10:26

You know, you're so ridiculously

10:29

giving to begin with, and

10:31

you don't ever need to thank you, but I

10:33

just it meant

10:35

the world to me because it gave me a

10:38

little bit of closure in something that was

10:40

so hard to have closure with, you

10:42

know, much like probably your experience with your dad.

10:45

Well, you know, it's interesting that we both got

10:47

a phone call. My parents were in Canada,

10:50

My dad left his body there, and

10:52

I always say, your one phone call away from

10:54

your whole life changing. And

10:57

it happened to both of us, and we

10:59

were the people who should.

11:01

Have We should have been there.

11:03

We should have been there, but the universe did

11:05

not, or they or they, I

11:07

know.

11:07

You know because they they both.

11:11

Your dad passed away with your mom

11:13

present. My father passed away

11:15

with my mother present. And I

11:18

didn't think that they did not want us there.

11:21

I think it would have been too intense

11:24

for us because of our bond with

11:26

our dads.

11:28

Yeah, I mean it would have been.

11:30

I think we would have been crippled.

11:31

Yeah, I mean, he was my best friend.

11:34

The fact that they went so quickly is

11:37

a blessing because I'm dealing

11:39

with someone today that I had to say goodbye

11:41

to, and

11:44

it's to watch

11:46

someone go through

11:48

the emotions of passing is a very

11:51

interesting scenario.

11:53

So you could have canceled.

11:55

Absolutely not. So

11:58

that was our love bond

12:01

was the parents, and I think that just it

12:04

sealed our friendship and our respect for each

12:06

other.

12:07

Yeah, I mean, from that moment on, I think we

12:09

were like, not inseparable

12:12

in the physical sense, inseparable

12:15

in that in that too, But like inseparable

12:18

in that like we had to connect,

12:21

we had to talk to each other, We had to like there

12:23

was even if it was a text at phone

12:25

call, like there was always something where

12:28

you know, we we just kept gravitating

12:31

to each other.

12:32

And I don't think there's a day

12:34

we don't touch base.

12:37

No, because I'm a wreck.

12:39

If I don't get to hear from you, I

12:42

go into sheer panic mode.

12:44

I mean, yes, and

12:46

we have so many different aspects of our friendship

12:49

that I think is really funny. Like when you and I fight,

12:51

it's crazy brutal.

12:56

Oh we do. If we get in a big to

12:59

do, we don't talk to each other for a few days,

13:01

and then someone will send a meme

13:04

to break the ice.

13:05

When honestly, the longest time we've gone

13:08

without speaking twenty.

13:09

Four hours, thirty six hours.

13:12

I don't even think we reach thirty six hours.

13:14

I think it's more brutal for

13:17

everybody else than it is for you and me. Oh

13:19

yeah, because I think you and I kind.

13:21

Of like, oh, we just it's it's catnip.

13:24

Yeah, Well, every now and

13:26

then we want we want to fight.

13:29

But I have to say the most

13:31

remarkable thing with you is You're

13:34

the easiest person in the entire

13:36

world to travel with.

13:37

Thank you.

13:38

You're just so are you. We're so

13:40

united and you let me work.

13:43

We do our own thing, and

13:46

you're just which no one does. Everyone wants

13:48

to kind of control my situation.

13:50

Yeah, not me, I know, but it's the same

13:53

with you. I mean, I just don't need

13:55

that from you, like I don't.

13:58

Your presence is

14:00

enough for me. I don't need

14:03

you constantly engaging in

14:05

conversation with me. And I have so

14:07

much respect for you. I've I

14:10

honestly don't know anyone that

14:12

works harder than you. The hours

14:15

that you work are insane and

14:18

it is NonStop, and it is from

14:21

so many different personalities because

14:24

you know, you're the number one real estate agent

14:26

in the world basically, and

14:28

you represent all sorts

14:30

of people, but everybody wants

14:33

to be considered special and like number

14:35

one, and you honestly make everyone

14:37

feel special in number one, and you treat everyone

14:40

as if they're the most special in the number one.

14:42

Like you care about your clients more

14:44

than anybody else that I've met. And it

14:46

doesn't matter if the house is you

14:48

know, a small house that's normally

14:50

like not even a budget that you would normally

14:53

represent you you represent

14:55

it with one hundred percent of yourself,

14:57

just like you represent the life

15:00

like one hundred million dollar houses.

15:03

That's my personality. But I

15:05

think you're comfortable with that because you know

15:07

you're number one. Okay,

15:13

so you're like, it's okay. I don't kind of have a

15:15

piece of view.

15:17

But the listeners really need to see

15:19

this video because my face was like, yes,

15:22

exactly, it's

15:26

true though I am number one.

15:28

You are number one. I know that.

15:30

I said that spot with your mom, like

15:33

your mom is number one, and the children,

15:35

yeah, and the children like we all your

15:37

family is number one, and I'm part of the family.

15:39

You're part of the family. Yeah. Yeah,

15:42

You're the fourth the fourth

15:44

wheel, and

15:46

that's how my life runs because of you. And

15:49

everyone says what is so special

15:51

about Shannon? I go, I feel protected

15:55

and I feel secure

15:58

when I'm in your orbit

16:01

and it's the biggest compliment.

16:04

Thank you.

16:05

They're welcome.

16:07

Did a although can I tell the story?

16:09

Which one, no, you can't, so.

16:13

Uh the Tennessee story. We're

16:15

in Tennessee and

16:18

and Chris has bought this beautiful

16:20

farm, tons of acreage.

16:23

And that we're living together.

16:25

Yes, and I have, you know, done

16:28

a lease purchase in a lesser part of

16:30

the town and a much

16:32

cheaper house, a much smaller house. There's not I have

16:34

a house, there's just a barn. But I

16:36

was like, oh, I need something to call my own. And

16:41

I'm trying to show Chris the proper,

16:43

like I'm like, you gotta you know, because

16:45

I basically just did it online.

16:48

So I was like, Chris, you have to come and see it. And

16:50

he's following me with our

16:52

good friend Kirby and

16:55

and Honor Raise in the car with me and

16:59

Julie and they like, I

17:01

don't know, I made a left hand turn or I mess,

17:03

you're going.

17:04

One hundred miles an hour. And I

17:06

was enjoying the country roads.

17:08

Right, and I also missed a few turns and

17:10

I kept on having to like swivel back around.

17:13

And Chris called me and

17:15

we gotten this like.

17:18

Screaming match, gemy match.

17:20

And it was just to anybody

17:23

else, it was the most horrifying

17:26

thing ever. Like Kirby was like, oh

17:28

my god, I'm not okay with this. Honore

17:31

was like, let me.

17:31

Out of the car, Let me out of the car.

17:33

She jumped out of the car. It was black Hawk down.

17:37

It was and like

17:39

Chris and I literally five

17:41

seconds later laughing hysterically

17:44

about.

17:44

It traumatized everyone, and it

17:46

was just like, oh, well.

17:49

I mean it it was like it

17:51

was for a play for us, completely

17:54

for a play. I mean it might

17:56

have been actual sucks for us. We

17:58

were like, we're good now, good

18:01

for the month.

18:03

What about the time that we got in a fight

18:05

over at the.

18:06

Tempe Well,

18:08

you know I won that one.

18:10

You didn't it? Did

18:12

I even say that you were right? I think

18:14

I studied a year later. I couldn't bear

18:16

myself, yeah to say it was wrong?

18:18

Yeah?

18:20

Yeah, how that were so snooty on the

18:22

plane?

18:22

Well, Chris was trying to like

18:25

tell me how good Tempe was for me, and

18:28

I was like, Tempe is not good for

18:30

people with cancer because like

18:33

lammatory, it's got soy in it, And

18:36

not that it's not good for people with cancer, but my particular

18:38

cancer with like breast cancer, and you know the pathology

18:41

of my particular cancer is just not

18:43

good for me. It's it's too much of like a fungus.

18:46

I can't I can't do it. Chris is a

18:48

vegetarian, has been one for how many.

18:50

Like thirty seven years right, No fish.

18:52

No nothing, no nothing, And so

18:55

he was really just trying to like drive home

18:57

the like temphe vegetarian thing. And

19:00

I was He's like, it's not bad for you. I'm

19:02

like, you want to make it. He's like, it doesn't have soy. I'm

19:04

like, it is nothing but soy.

19:07

And it was just this argument back

19:09

and forth until I finally was not like.

19:11

Did you know you did?

19:13

I did? Yeah, of course I did.

19:15

Such bossy pants instantly

19:18

googled.

19:18

I'm like and I just like handed

19:20

him my phone like read this and

19:23

I.

19:23

Switched the subject immediately

19:27

immediately.

19:28

But you never ever offered me tempay

19:30

now.

19:31

No, just coconut

19:33

oil and strawberries.

19:35

Just the things that I'm allergic to and that will kill me anyway.

19:37

So now you guys know that we love to fight and that's

19:39

like sex with uh what

19:51

was it like for you? And do you remember

19:54

uh me telling you when I got diagnosed

19:57

the first time?

19:58

Yes, we're in pairs, and

20:01

well there's two different stages. There

20:03

was the first age when we were in Paris at

20:05

Hotel cost having

20:08

such a wonderful time.

20:10

That's our spot, that's our.

20:11

Spot, and we're

20:14

having a beautiful dinner, and I could tell you that

20:16

you were nervous, and you said,

20:18

I have something to tell you, and

20:22

you started crying, and of course I started

20:24

crying. And

20:27

you said, my dog is

20:29

smelling my breasts and

20:32

I have a lump and I think

20:34

I have cancer. And we both burst

20:36

into tears. And it

20:39

kind of shook my whole world because

20:42

it was the first time I thought, wow,

20:44

you could go, yeah, you

20:46

can really leave me. And

20:53

it was a lot to process, and I

20:55

just I felt so much love and

20:58

I just always want to protect you. You You're always

21:00

protecting me, and it was just, you

21:03

know, you feel so helpless. And

21:05

then the second time you

21:08

call me in the car, you

21:10

could barely speak and

21:13

you said, I have cancer. I

21:15

have cancer. I have cancer, and

21:19

it was just we

21:22

I think we both knew it. The confirmation

21:25

was it was the confirmation and the realness

21:27

of it all and then knowing

21:29

the journey beyond. But

21:33

and everyone's always saying, how is Shennon

21:36

doing. How is Shannon doing? I

21:38

said, She's always amazing. But

21:41

the one thing with you that

21:44

you are the strongest person I know in

21:48

a situation that you're confronted

21:50

with, You're getting chemo. You

21:53

are sick as a dog. You

21:56

never complain and

21:59

you're just so to a warrior. But it's

22:01

so brutal. I know

22:04

what you're going through. I know you know,

22:06

I see how sick you are and

22:09

you just never complain and you are

22:11

this. I just you're on such a different

22:13

level than anyone

22:15

I know that you just

22:18

you're never the victim. And it's

22:21

unbelievable, Shannon, And it

22:23

just it just further reinforces

22:26

my respect and love for you, and

22:30

as a friend on the friend

22:33

slash future husband, it's

22:39

it's just a it's a it's

22:41

a it's a journey. And

22:44

it was so great for you to call me the other day

22:46

and give us good news. Yeah,

22:49

and it's just encouragement. But my god,

22:52

you're amazing and

22:54

you know, you see all your fans

22:56

and everyone and then encourage

22:59

the encouragement that you give to so many people. We're

23:01

at NOBU And remember that

23:03

lady when the picture with you and her daughter and

23:05

she was I have cancer.

23:07

And her daughter was like my mom, Like

23:10

I know.

23:10

But it's just like you give, you

23:13

give so much and you're so open about

23:15

it and

23:18

you document it, and it's it's

23:20

really inspiring.

23:23

I mean, I thank you. I think it's

23:26

Listen. I do complain. I

23:28

just don't complain in front of people. I

23:30

do complain, like I have. You

23:33

know, I have a lot of moments where I

23:36

h I tend to be the

23:39

person who cries in a

23:41

closet by themselves. Basically, yeah,

23:44

like you like, we're you know, we're we're very

23:46

similar in that sense where we

23:49

appear to be, you know, very strong

23:52

and warriors and we can get

23:54

through everything, but like we'll have breakdowns,

23:57

but we were in a closet hiding having

24:00

our breakdowns, and I definitely

24:03

do that, you know, Like I'm not nearly as strong

24:05

as people you're

24:07

strong. I am strong, but I'm not. You

24:09

know. My point is one

24:12

hundred percent have those moments where I

24:15

feel all of it and I

24:17

wish for something different, right,

24:19

Like I wish this wasn't

24:22

what I was dealing with in life. But then I always

24:24

have to look at the other side of it and go, well, then what else

24:26

would you be dealing with? And

24:29

would it be as impactful and would

24:31

it be as meaningful as

24:34

this? Like you know, my obviously,

24:36

my biggest thing is I just don't want to die too

24:38

soon because I have a lot to accomplish,

24:40

so that weighs heavy

24:43

on my brain of like I haven't raised enough

24:45

money for cancer. I haven't you know, spoken

24:47

up, I haven't rescued enough, like I just

24:49

haven't. I haven't changed the slaughter

24:52

laws in the United States of America, I haven't.

24:54

Like there's just so many things that I want

24:56

to do that I haven't done, and I

24:59

just, you know, every night, like my prayers

25:02

to God, like, please give me enough

25:04

time to accomplish all of the things

25:06

that I want to do, but also to accomplish

25:08

what you have me

25:11

on this earth to do. Like I know that

25:13

there's a reason for all of this, and

25:15

you know that reason, and I trust in you, but please

25:18

just allow me the time to

25:21

figure out what it all is. Like that's my biggest

25:23

thing. So I think, like what I really

25:26

appreciate, appreciate about you

25:28

and our friendship is that you have You're

25:31

very strong and you're very supportive, but

25:33

you're not afraid to cry

25:36

in front of me and be scared

25:38

in front of me, which allows me

25:42

to show you my fear for

25:44

myself also, and I don't

25:46

have that with a lot of people because a lot of

25:48

people just are like, she's so strong,

25:51

nah, but you,

25:53

you know, you're an open book with me, and

25:56

so when you're scared for me, you

25:59

show it and

26:01

it breaks down all of those

26:03

walls and allows

26:05

me to like frigaking cry.

26:08

Well we cried when we were in Croatia.

26:11

Yeah, but it was great though, because you actually

26:13

cried because you can't

26:15

stand see me cry. I hate it, and

26:18

it really broke down. It

26:21

showed a vulnerability amongst each

26:23

other because they're always trying to be the pillar of strength.

26:26

And it was a very

26:28

powerful moment.

26:30

I agree, and I think a

26:32

needed moment because sometimes

26:35

strength is everybody

26:38

thinks that strength is being you

26:41

know, stoic and

26:44

and putting forth like you

26:46

know this exterior of

26:48

I'm good, I'm fine. But what

26:51

I have discovered and

26:54

with your help, is that strength

26:56

is in every tear that falls

26:59

out of my eye. Of course, that's

27:01

strength. Like the more that I'm able

27:03

to embrace

27:06

my vulnerability and my fears,

27:10

that's how I get stronger, the same with

27:12

you.

27:12

I agree, but it was

27:15

it was such a needed release because

27:18

I think we both had so much emotion built

27:20

up because none of us want to say

27:22

good by to each other.

27:23

Right, But as you always say, it can happen to any of

27:25

us.

27:26

We're one phone call away, right,

27:28

one phone call.

27:29

I mean we just.

27:32

I mean remember and I said, you know, Shannon,

27:35

I can leave this earth before you Yeah, you were.

27:37

Like what that

27:39

blew my die was like that's that.

27:42

No, that's not happening. That's

27:44

not happening. You're dude.

27:47

You're the executor of my will, like

27:50

you, you control everything

27:52

when I'm dead, like you got to take care of my mom

27:55

likes it's

27:57

almost spelled out for you, my love.

27:58

I know. I haven't and

28:01

I haven't read it.

28:02

I know it which is hysterical.

28:13

Funeral list three people,

28:18

Mama, Rosa, and

28:20

Bowie.

28:22

So this came up when

28:24

I was well. It's

28:26

come up a couple of times, but it really came

28:28

up when I was about to go in for brain surgery

28:30

in January, and you

28:33

know, I didn't think that I was going to make it.

28:35

I redid my will and I made sure everything

28:38

was like super clear, and I

28:40

transferred who was executor of

28:42

my will to Chris because before it was

28:44

my attorney, who I loved madly, but it's

28:47

too much responsibility for him. And

28:49

you know, me better than anyone

28:51

else. And I also

28:53

knew that you would take the money

28:55

and grow at the best possible. I

28:58

was like, anybody can take what money

29:00

I have to make me, you know,

29:03

really really really wealthy. It's Chris and

29:05

Richard, so I was pretty I was like, yep,

29:07

yep, my mom needs a lot of money. So we

29:10

got it. But I taught

29:12

to you a little bit, and I spoke to my

29:14

mom. It really upsets her to talk about it, but

29:16

then she starts laughing through it about

29:19

like a funeral, because I've

29:21

been to a few. I'm horrible

29:24

at funerals. I don't know if anybody's actually good

29:26

at funerals. But I'm the girl who like literally

29:28

sobs. I can't handle it

29:31

like death to me, like it just

29:34

I mean my dad's it was very hard

29:36

to keep anything together. But it was

29:38

also like I was pleasantly surprised

29:41

at my dad's of who showed up. But

29:43

it made me start thinking about who

29:45

would show up to mine. And there's

29:49

a lot of people that I think would show up that

29:52

I don't want there, Like

29:54

I don't want them there because

29:57

the reasons for showing up aren't

29:59

necessarily the best reasons. Like

30:01

they don't really like me, and

30:05

you know, like they have their reasons and good for

30:07

them, but they don't

30:09

actually really like me enough

30:12

to show it to my funeral. But they will because

30:14

it's the politically correct thing to do and

30:16

they don't want to look bad, and so

30:19

I kind of want to take that pressure off

30:21

of them. And I want

30:23

my funeral to be like

30:25

a love fest. I don't want people to be crying

30:28

or people to want people to privately being

30:30

like thank God that they're just dead now, you

30:32

know, bye bye bitch, right,

30:35

Like, those are the things I don't want. I'm

30:37

going to pour you a little bit more wine. So,

30:40

by the way, you guys were drinking my favorite wine,

30:42

which is called I call it Hanata,

30:45

but it's j o Na Ta Hanata

30:48

from Sinninez and I decided

30:50

that this was so far the very

30:52

first podcast recording

30:55

I've done where I drink with someone, and I was

30:57

like, it's definitely going to be with Christopher.

31:00

And it tastes so good, doesn't it. So

31:02

who do you want? So? Who do you want to be there?

31:04

Because that's the shorter that's the better

31:06

list. I can't give you a list of who I don't

31:09

want because that's way.

31:10

Too long, And where do you want to be?

31:12

Let's do it here at my house, but like

31:15

party. Do you remember one

31:17

of my mom's birthdays that I threw

31:19

here where I tinted like the back off the

31:21

kitchen and I had a DJ playing and it

31:24

was like super fun, Like that's

31:26

what I want. I want it to be

31:29

a celebration.

31:30

And where do you want your ashes?

31:33

I haven't figured that out yet.

31:35

This is such a morbid conversation, but

31:37

it's also so fun. I want to be mixed

31:40

with my dog and I want to be mixed with my

31:42

dad. I do not want to be

31:44

buried. I want to be cremated.

31:47

I would definitely not bury you.

31:49

Yeah, And I was

31:51

reading about a thing where

31:53

you can take your ashes

31:56

and and grow a.

31:58

Tree that I can I

32:00

can wear you around my neck.

32:02

I did that with my dad. I had my dad around

32:05

my neck for a little bit. I actually don't know

32:07

where that necklace went, but I was having nightmares.

32:10

Could I have a little PCU around my neck?

32:12

You may thank you.

32:14

I'll probably just be left with Bowie.

32:18

You just get her toenailail

32:21

and tail. It'll be nothing

32:23

of me whatsoever. We'll

32:26

get their hands in it and like really

32:29

mix it up so it's a

32:31

healthy mixture of

32:33

my father, me and Bowie.

32:35

I would love that. But where

32:37

where am I going to scatter you? You can't.

32:39

You have to direct I mean maybe

32:41

maybe I just like part of me just

32:43

sits on your bedstand and stares at you.

32:47

Make sure I don't fall in love with anyone else

32:49

in my life. Right, you are horrible.

32:51

I know I am, But I think

32:53

like I could pick out like a really

32:56

beautiful, like little container for me

32:58

and then have my face. It's like, no,

33:00

it's.

33:01

Going to be with your It's going to be a cutout,

33:03

so I could see the ashes. Your

33:06

eyes will be looking at me.

33:08

It'll be like clear, so

33:10

you see my ashes, and then like my face

33:13

like somewhere on there just staring

33:15

at you. I

33:17

know I'm diabolical.

33:18

You're diabolical.

33:19

And at the same time, I

33:24

don't know the things that I want, I know

33:26

the things that I don't want. I

33:28

don't find it difficult to have this conversation with

33:30

you. Like most people would say

33:33

this is the most morbid, you

33:35

know, weird conversation, But

33:37

I find there's something to me reassuring

33:40

about it. Along with very

33:42

funny, and I like being

33:44

funny about certain situations, especially

33:47

when they're dire.

33:49

Right.

33:49

So, how does it make you feel when you have a

33:51

conversation like this with me.

33:54

About your feel Yeah? I love

33:56

it, of

33:58

course you do. Sick of hello,

34:02

No, but it's an important conversation. I

34:04

don't want to be scrambling at the end trying to figure

34:07

it out. And your mom's

34:09

like Mississippi.

34:11

I will haunt you.

34:15

I have to find a place that my dad

34:17

and I both really loved

34:20

and it meant a lot to us.

34:22

And where was meaningful? Where did

34:24

you spend most of your most precious times beside

34:26

malibll I.

34:27

Mean Malibu was really good? Are

34:29

you?

34:30

And the you want to go in the ocean the hills?

34:33

He always wanted a Viking funeral. He

34:35

wanted to like be set on like a

34:37

you know, canoe

34:39

boat whatever and some on fire and

34:42

like set out to see That's what he always

34:44

wanted.

34:44

My luck, it will be like westerly

34:46

breezes and I'll throw you guys in the ocean

34:49

right back in my face.

34:52

Totally in your mouth. You're

34:54

like swallowing us.

34:55

Oh god, no,

34:58

I don't think it's a more big conversation. I think everyone

35:01

should have this conversation. And

35:04

just so you know, I want if

35:06

I do go first, I want some a

35:08

little doom. I want some at

35:10

the ranch. I would

35:12

like some in Canada.

35:15

Yeah, and that's

35:17

it, that makes sense to me. Yeah, those

35:19

three spots precious

35:22

spots. And what about

35:24

your funeral, like you know everybody

35:28

like yours would be filled with like six

35:30

hundred people.

35:31

I want an Indian wedding

35:33

funeral. I want it to.

35:35

Mean what what does that mean?

35:37

Like a thousand people? Come?

35:39

Oh, I want a huge So

35:42

you don't even care if your arch nemesis shows

35:44

up. You're like, yeah, let

35:46

them.

35:47

Let them, let them see how much I'm loved. God.

35:50

What a healthy attitude to have.

35:52

I think I'm gonna switch you.

35:53

I mean maybe I think about

35:55

how many fans you have.

35:56

You could have one, two

35:58

million.

35:59

I don't my fans showing up like those

36:01

are you know, those are people who've supported

36:04

me my entire life and my career. I love

36:06

you and I love them Like that's different.

36:08

I'm talking about like people that really

36:10

don't like me. I

36:12

just don't want those people there. And I know who

36:14

they are.

36:15

I know, but don't you think when you leave your body. I mean,

36:17

we're in such a different plane that maybe

36:20

it's no.

36:21

I hate fakeness. I hate fakeness,

36:23

A horror fakeness. I can't

36:25

stand people who you know, want

36:27

to all of a sudden pretend like

36:29

they you know, found

36:32

Jesus and they're so sorry

36:34

and they repent and they didn't mean anything

36:36

bad that they said about you, blah blah blah.

36:38

I can't stand that. I'm like, no, no, no,

36:41

I know you're still the exact same,

36:43

petty human being. Don't just

36:45

stay away from me like we're good. I don't

36:47

need to say something bad about you. You don't need to say

36:49

something bad about me. But we can just un

36:52

the podcast, just ignore each other.

36:54

But we could to say everyone you don't like I

36:57

know, right, And you know what, it's

37:00

in one sense, we've lived so much more

37:02

because we do have the threat of your cancer.

37:05

And I think when we're with each other, our

37:07

connection is even deeper because

37:09

every time I look in your eyes, I'm like, oh

37:12

my god, those eyes are so gorgeous,

37:15

and it's just but you, we

37:17

live deeper because we know there

37:20

could be a limited time.

37:21

There's a lot of people that are not fortunate

37:24

enough to have this

37:28

relationship. You

37:31

know, you've sort of been like my

37:33

my savior through a lot of situations.

37:36

And when you're a little safety blanket.

37:39

You're more than a little safety blanket. Like

37:41

you're the entire comforter. It's

37:43

love that like, I know that

37:46

I can count on you, and I know that I can

37:48

be me. I know

37:50

that I can be bitchy and

37:53

you're gonna dive right in there

37:55

with me. I know

37:58

that I can cry and you're going to like

38:01

hold me and cry with me. You

38:04

you are the one person who

38:06

gets every aspect

38:09

of my personality. And I hope

38:12

vice versa without question.

38:15

But I have to say, if you are bitchy, there's

38:18

a reason for you being bitchy.

38:20

I don't think you're bitchy just to be a bitch.

38:23

I think except on the drive from like Tennessee

38:25

to the plane.

38:31

We had so much pent up energy. We

38:35

screamed at each other for over

38:38

an hour, in loving

38:40

every breath that came out of.

38:42

Our mouth, every breath.

38:53

I have a question for you, what's your biggest

38:55

fear on death?

38:56

Not accomplishing what

38:59

God put me on this earth?

39:00

Bloor are you

39:02

afraid of death itself, like

39:05

the process of dying.

39:06

Yeah, for sure, you

39:09

know, I

39:11

as you know, one of my best friends,

39:16

Deborah died during

39:19

the pandemic. Did not die of

39:21

COVID. She died of cancer. And

39:24

she got diagnosed with cancer after

39:27

I got diagnosed, but I wasn't

39:29

stage four yet, and

39:32

she was like instantly stage four because

39:34

she had waited too long to go to the doctors.

39:36

And then when I became stage

39:38

four and she was stage four, it was like, you

39:41

know, talking about the protocols together and everything

39:43

else. And then she, you

39:46

know, she died alone. Again. It was during

39:48

the pandemic, and it was towards

39:50

sort of the beginning and they weren't

39:52

really allowing people.

39:54

And which was also so insane.

39:57

Yeah, and she

40:00

you know made the decision to you

40:02

know, not take any more meds

40:05

that would keep her alive. And that was

40:07

her decision. She didn't discuss

40:09

it with me, I know, she discussed it with her husband

40:12

and her daughter, who

40:14

I love dearly. It's been really

40:17

hard for me to like talk to them on a

40:19

regular basis because I

40:21

still struggle with like Debra's death in

40:23

such a way that I've kind of blocked

40:25

it a little bit, but I

40:28

wasn't able to go to the hospital,

40:30

and so I just remember

40:32

calling the

40:34

unit that she was in and saying

40:37

to the nurse, like, can you please

40:40

just put the phone next

40:42

to her ear and

40:44

let me talk to her, Like I know that she's

40:46

sort of has had slipped into like this

40:49

sort of cooma at this point, but

40:51

she'll hear me. And

40:54

you know, I talked to her for

40:57

an hour and a half. I

40:59

think just say, like this,

41:01

you don't have to make this decision, like

41:03

there are clinical trials, but if

41:06

this is your decision, like I love you

41:08

and I support you. I

41:10

think that I don't

41:12

want to die like that. I don't want

41:14

to die alone. I want to go out

41:16

fighting, to be

41:18

honest, and you know, I'm I'm

41:21

like every person, none of

41:23

us want to feel a ton of pain when

41:25

we die. We all would prefer to you

41:29

go, oh, I'll die in my sleep, And I'm like, I don't

41:31

want to die in my sleep necessarily,

41:33

Like that's that's weird

41:35

for the other people in your

41:38

life.

41:38

I think, I think it's a blessing, but.

41:41

I want to die like looking at people going

41:43

I love you, it's

41:45

my time. It has been fantastic.

41:50

I'm going to close my eyes in sixty

41:52

seconds and I'm

41:54

going to go to a better place.

41:56

Right, But that usually doesn't happen because you're

41:58

gasping for air.

41:59

Because but that's my

42:02

that's my ultimate like wish

42:04

list of how I die. I just want to like reassure

42:06

everybody.

42:07

And you

42:09

know, do you know it's the only time I saw fear

42:11

in your eyes was

42:14

when I sery. Yes, yeah,

42:17

And.

42:18

I did not think I was gonna be

42:20

me after that surgery.

42:22

I know.

42:22

But seeing you and

42:25

seeing your mom look

42:27

at you, and you looking at your mom

42:29

because it was the three of us, and

42:34

watching you look into

42:36

each other's eyes literally

42:39

broke my heart. And

42:42

you're so powerless as a friend because there's nothing

42:44

you can do, and

42:47

you just said, I love you, mommy, And

42:50

you know, we held your hand going down the hallway

42:52

and you had to say the final

42:55

you know, I had to say your

42:57

mom had to say goodbye, and it was brutal.

43:02

Yeah, it was brutal.

43:04

Yeah, that was the only time I saw, for here in your

43:06

eyes.

43:08

I was positive I was going to die.

43:10

Not only die, though, but I think you thought you could. You're

43:12

going to be dead or you're going to have brain damage

43:14

and you would not be the same.

43:16

I thought it was, Yes, it was one of those

43:18

two. I didn't think there was

43:20

any other outcome but brain damage

43:23

or death because I don't get scared of a lot

43:25

of.

43:25

Things, I know, but that was the first time I saw

43:27

it.

43:28

I also think that like you

43:30

know, seeing you, seeing my mom,

43:32

seeing my brother, seeing my

43:34

sister in law, like you know, everybody

43:37

sort of rallied around and

43:40

being there and coming in and

43:42

saying, you know, I love you and you're

43:44

gonna be fine, We'll see you on the other side. Like

43:48

it definitely helped. But I was

43:51

shocked when I woke up. The first

43:53

person I saw was doctor Cheu, right,

43:56

and I just remember being like

43:59

looking opening my eyes and seeing him and being

44:01

like, so, what's wrong with me? Like

44:03

that was the first thing. What's

44:05

wrong with me? Like tell me what

44:08

transpired doing that surgery? How

44:11

my messed up right now? Like is

44:13

my right foot not working? Is

44:16

there something in my brain? And

44:18

this is something I have not talked about yet.

44:22

It's really interesting and I and you know

44:24

this is that when I came home, when

44:26

I was recovering, I had a

44:28

very hard time with memory

44:31

and more importantly, hand

44:34

coordination. I remember that

44:37

my right hand wasn't

44:39

working properly. I couldn't hold a glass

44:42

and I was like, oh my god, this is

44:45

forever. And I was I was

44:47

hopped up on so many steroids as

44:49

you know that. It was like I

44:52

was Craig Ray slightly

44:56

slightly.

44:58

I was nuts. Nuts,

45:00

yeah, nuts. But that's a legitimate

45:03

concern if you can't use your right harm. The

45:05

good news is you're completely fine. But

45:07

that was the only time I ever saw you

45:09

scared.

45:10

Yeah, that was very scary.

45:20

I have a question for you, as my

45:22

everything, what do you want

45:24

from me in my life?

45:26

Happiness, contentment,

45:28

peace. I want

45:31

you to grow

45:33

super old and watch

45:35

your children flourish. And

45:38

because I know how smart.

45:40

You are, I find you one

45:43

of the smartest people I've ever met.

45:46

Your brain triggers

45:49

on some higher level than anyone

45:51

I know. I think I'm smart, I'm

45:54

very social, I'm good at what I

45:56

do because I love people. You're

45:58

on just a higher level. You're

46:01

like the Siamese cat, and I'm like the labrador.

46:05

That is so cute.

46:07

Bye, by the way, thank you for that.

46:09

So my biggest wish for you is

46:11

that you get to be healthy

46:14

and cognizant where you get to

46:16

watch that for your children,

46:19

because I know that your children are

46:22

the most important things in your life. And

46:24

my other wish for you is that your

46:27

mom lives as long as humanly

46:29

possible, too, because I also

46:31

know what that means to you and your

46:33

mom. Yeah, so

46:36

I'm going to wrap it up and just say

46:38

thank you so.

46:39

Much, thank you so much.

46:41

You're the love of my life,

46:43

You're my best friend, You're my entire

46:45

heart, my soul, and I

46:50

appreciate you taking your time because I

46:52

know how valuable your time is.

46:55

And thank you.

46:56

And we have many more journeys to go, my

46:58

love, I.

46:59

Know, I know perfect

47:01

all right, Thank you guys for tuning

47:04

in to Let's be clear, And thank

47:06

you Chris Cretazzo, realtor

47:09

extraordinaire and more importantly,

47:13

love of my life, extraordinary