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with HR -positive, HER2 -negative MBC the

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2:38

more information. Hi,

2:43

Catherine. Hi, Chelsea.

2:45

Hi, how are you? I'm so great.

2:47

I'm so great. I'm here on my last

2:49

day of Whistler. I'm leaving. Doug is

2:52

staying for another week because he loves it

2:54

up here so much. My little lion

2:56

bear. Oh, I fucking love Doug. Is he

2:58

coming with you or are you going

3:00

back there again? I'm going to come back

3:02

and get him in a week. Yes,

3:04

I'm going to come back and get him

3:06

in a week. I do want to

3:08

make an announcement on my European tour. We

3:10

had to cancel Dublin, unfortunately, because something

3:12

came up that I can't that I can't

3:14

rearrange. So I start out in Reykjavik

3:16

and all the other cities I'm still

3:18

coming to. I think that starts May

3:20

11th. So I'm not coming to

3:22

Dublin, but I will be in Belfast

3:24

and Paris and Brussels, Amsterdam, Oslo,

3:26

Stockholm, Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow. Zurich,

3:28

Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, and Lisbon. And most

3:30

of the shows are almost sold out.

3:32

So if you haven't gotten your tickets,

3:34

get them now. And I don't think

3:36

I'll be adding second shows on this

3:38

tour because my schedule is so crazy.

3:40

So we were talking about it, but

3:42

I don't think I'm going to do

3:45

it for my sanity. That's what you learn

3:47

when you get older. And then, of course,

3:49

there's Vegas, you guys. I'm going to be

3:51

in Vegas next weekend, April 18th. And then

3:53

July 5th is my next Vegas date. So

3:55

get your tickets for that. And I have

3:57

summer dates. all, all through,

3:59

I mean, all throughout the year, I'll

4:01

be in Vegas once a month. Awesome. Yeah.

4:03

You'll be there in the, in the heat

4:05

of the summer. I know. I know. I

4:07

can't believe it. And I, uh, hope everyone

4:10

is checking out my standup special, the feeling

4:12

on Netflix. Thank you for all your messages

4:14

about it. Thank you for all your messages

4:16

about my book that I still get coming

4:18

in all the time. I'd love that. Yeah.

4:20

It's all great. It's all great. Wonderful. That's

4:22

great. Life is great. I started mountain biking

4:24

in Whistler because the seasons are changing. I

4:26

brought my e -bike up here. So I am

4:28

becoming a full -blown lesbian. Oh, our

4:30

guests today are the hosts of

4:33

The Giggly Squad, which is a very

4:35

popular podcast. And they have a

4:37

new book out called How to Giggle.

4:39

So please welcome Hannah Berner and

4:41

Paige DeSorbo. Oh, hi, girls. Hi, Giggly

4:43

Squad girls. Paige DeSorbo and Hannah

4:45

Burner. Look who we have in studio

4:47

today. Actually, we're not in studio.

4:49

No one is in the same place.

4:51

You two aren't even in the

4:53

same place. Have you guys thought about

4:55

moving in together yet? We don't

4:57

spend any time together. This is strictly

4:59

business. It's a very transactional relationship.

5:01

Yes. Yeah. Okay, I understand. We say

5:03

that we're in a non -sexual marriage

5:05

like most of America. Yeah,

5:08

most married people are not having

5:11

sex. Well, Hannah's married. I find one

5:13

of the most surprising things about

5:15

you, Hannah, is that you're married. And

5:17

I kind of object to it.

5:19

No, Chelsea, it's so embarrassing. And I

5:21

feel like we'd be better friends

5:23

if I wasn't married. I think you

5:25

would have a lot more friends

5:27

if you weren't married. I feel like

5:29

it's like when... I had a

5:32

friend recently who got pregnant unexpectedly. We're

5:34

so sorry. Yeah. I was like, you

5:36

can't. Are you going to keep it? And

5:39

she's like, I've been thinking about it.

5:41

I'm like, definitely don't. Look at the world.

5:43

It's a disaster. What are you going

5:45

to do with that baby? And then she

5:47

did decide to keep it. And

5:51

you're like, hey. And all

5:53

of the other part of this friend group. We

5:56

were having dinner and I was like,

5:58

is anyone else of bummed about this

6:00

baby? And both of the women who

6:02

are mothers were like, yeah, we're disappointed

6:04

that she's having a baby too. Like

6:06

we're all in concert. Everyone is in

6:08

agreement except the woman having the baby.

6:10

Well, it's true. It changes friend dynamics.

6:12

Paige has this thing where she's like,

6:15

you can't have a baby until I

6:17

have a baby. Yeah, that's where I'm

6:19

drawing the line. Yeah, but she's newly

6:21

single. So I'm like, okay, well, like

6:23

my husband's old. So he's... out of

6:25

time. Yeah, your husband is just like

6:27

this like ghost -like figure. Where is

6:29

this person? I actually wanted him to

6:31

say hi, but then I shoot him

6:33

out. Yeah, I don't want to ever

6:35

see him. I don't ever want to

6:37

see him. It's better. When Hannah got

6:39

married, she literally didn't post a single

6:41

picture of her husband. It was just

6:43

pictures of Hannah in her wedding dress. But

6:47

you know what, Chelsea? We did reality TV

6:49

for a second and he was on it

6:51

for like a second. It's

6:54

one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in

6:56

my life. And I just don't want to subject anyone

6:58

I love to my shit. Do you know what

7:00

I mean? That's nice. And I don't want to be

7:02

subjected to him either, quite frankly. You know what

7:04

I mean? I want more of you and less of

7:06

him. There's a comic, Erica Rhodes.

7:08

She just posted something like, you know,

7:10

your friend's in a good relationship when you

7:12

barely know her husband's name. You know,

7:14

your friend who's always talking about the guy.

7:16

You're like, I think you're going to

7:18

murder him at this point. No,

7:20

I've met Des four times. It's

7:25

also good to be low -key married

7:27

because you're not really dealing with

7:29

that aspect of things on top of

7:31

your career. You're not also going

7:33

out with having turbulent relationships, which is

7:35

what would be happening anyway, ups

7:37

and downs. That's the one pro. So

7:39

that's a good thing about being

7:41

married is you don't have to date.

7:43

It's less bad than having a

7:45

kid. Literally, Chelsea, I don't have to

7:47

worry about the dating apps and

7:49

what do I text this guy, emoji

7:52

or nothing. because you know I

7:54

was in the weeds with that. I

7:56

know. I'm sure you are. You

7:58

guys, I read your book. I read

8:00

your book. Girls have a new

8:02

book. First of all, you know them

8:04

from the Giggly Squad. They have

8:06

a new book called How to Giggle,

8:08

which is them talking about their

8:10

high levels of stupidity also in concert

8:12

with all of the things that

8:14

have made them successful thus far, which

8:16

is like one chapter is called

8:19

How to Be DeLulu, which is short

8:21

for what generation are you guys?

8:23

You guys are Gen Z? No, we're

8:25

millennials. Okay. We're hardcore millennials.

8:27

You guys, I don't know what generation

8:29

is what. I don't know what generation

8:31

I am either. Millennial is like a

8:33

slur now. I know, I know. It's

8:35

not a compliment. So that's why I

8:38

was trying to avoid saying it. Delulu,

8:41

for all of those who don't

8:43

know what that means, is delusional. But

8:45

I love that chapter because it

8:47

is really fucking true. So Paige, why

8:49

don't you tell me about your

8:51

delusion and how it got you to

8:53

be successful? No, I really think

8:55

that I... I'm drinking a Coors Light,

8:57

by the way. Sorry. As you

8:59

should. As you should. I think that

9:02

when I like started on social

9:04

media, I wasn't nervous to start because

9:06

I truly was delusional. Like I

9:08

was too dumb to think of like

9:10

people judging me. It never crossed

9:12

my mind. Yes. So like when Instagram

9:14

came out and it was like

9:16

you have to have a following to

9:18

get anywhere in life, I was

9:20

like, oh, well, I have to try

9:22

and get a following. So when

9:24

I would put like Instagram videos out.

9:27

I wouldn't even think of haters. Like

9:29

it wasn't even on my mind at

9:31

that time because I was just delusional.

9:33

Like I didn't think anyone would dislike

9:35

me until I went on reality TV.

9:37

And then I was like, oh, OK,

9:39

I get it. Yeah, you can be

9:41

disliked on a nice big level. So

9:43

you two met on Summer House. We

9:46

met like the year prior, but like

9:48

very briefly. But yeah, then we re -met

9:50

on Summer House and became best friends. We

9:52

were the two new girls. So like

9:54

you walk into an already established like friend

9:56

group and we were so scared. And

9:58

like we've never shot reality TV before. So

10:00

we had this kind of trauma bond.

10:03

But you know when you look at another

10:05

girl and you make eye contact and

10:07

you're like, oh, she's on the same page

10:09

as me. Like this is fucking crazy.

10:11

And so it really was a trauma bond

10:13

that I think makes people closest. Yeah,

10:16

I mean, reality TV is pretty traumatizing for

10:18

all of the people who are subjected. For

10:20

the people who are on it, and then

10:22

for the people who view it. It's trauma

10:24

all the way around. It's

10:26

a full circle moment. My favorite thing

10:28

is when I meet people who watch

10:30

whatever show we were on, and they're

10:32

like, you guys just make me feel

10:34

so good about my life. Glad

10:38

to get that service you. We

10:41

were reality TV fans. Again, I would

10:43

watch Vanderpump Rules when I had a bad

10:45

day and I was like, okay, at

10:47

least my best friend didn't punch me in

10:49

the face for sleeping with Jax. That

10:51

was how I went to bed at night.

10:53

Yeah, I want to circle back to

10:55

the delusion part because you talk about it

10:57

too, Hannah, in the chapter. They each

10:59

speak on everything in both chapters. God,

11:02

fuck. This Coors Light is

11:04

really hitting me. I was going to say, the book

11:06

has made you dumber. She's

11:11

like, you guys didn't form one full sentence in

11:13

that book. No, but talk because

11:15

I love this idea. And I think more

11:17

people should subscribe to him, you know. regardless

11:20

of what medium you work in, like

11:22

it is really good just to be, have

11:24

your dreams at the front and center

11:26

of your mind and really believe in yourself

11:28

and have blind faith in yourself. Because

11:30

if you don't believe in yourself, there's not

11:32

going to be anybody else who believes

11:34

in yourself. And that works. It's like, you

11:36

know, it's like faking it until you're

11:38

making it. But it really, that also works,

11:40

I believe, you know? We've always

11:42

been obsessed with seeing like how people

11:44

make it. And I realized like the first

11:46

step is that person alone somewhere has

11:48

to decide that they can do it. If

11:50

you don't at least decide you want

11:52

to do it, you can never make it.

11:54

And it's been fascinating to see like

11:56

the delusion is like the fun part, but

11:58

it's really just being brave. And it's

12:00

just saying, if you want to do something,

12:02

like say it out loud and go

12:04

for it. Because so many people will sit

12:06

back and complain why something didn't happen

12:08

to them. And it's like, but you didn't

12:10

even try. Yeah. And I

12:12

think like I think Hannah is very much

12:15

like that's the other part of our

12:17

book. Like we are best friends. I wouldn't

12:19

do half the things I do if

12:21

I didn't have Hannah. Like I would never

12:23

go and do like a live tour.

12:25

Like I don't know how you guys do

12:27

stand up like on by yourself on

12:30

the stage. Like that makes me so anxious.

12:32

And so when we do our live shows, I

12:34

would not be able to do it without her,

12:37

knowing she's on the stage with me. Yeah, you

12:39

talk about having a panic attack before one of

12:41

the shows, right? And when you guys go on

12:43

stage, Paige, you're not doing stand -up, right? You guys

12:45

are just doing your podcast? No,

12:47

it's like a... I mean,

12:49

we're doing the same show

12:51

at every show, but it's

12:53

ad -lib of us. in

12:55

our podcast format, but it's

12:58

like segments. We do a

13:00

PowerPoint because PowerPoints are hilarious.

13:02

Oh my God, what a

13:04

fucking nightmare to create a

13:06

PowerPoint. That's like my

13:08

worst nightmare is to be in an office

13:10

and have someone tell me that I have

13:12

to start, that I have to create a

13:14

PowerPoint. Chelsea, we have a Gen Z doing

13:16

child labor who made the PowerPoint for us.

13:18

We didn't make the PowerPoint. But it's so

13:20

funny to just press the next slide and

13:22

there's like a funny photo. It's really good

13:24

comedy, really high level. But no,

13:26

with Paige, she's hysterical. And I think I

13:28

saw that in her. But she jokes,

13:30

she's like, I would never do stand -up

13:33

because I don't want to stand for an

13:35

hour. Which is just, that's why we're

13:37

best friends. Because we're different in those ways.

13:40

When, what was I going

13:42

to say? She

13:45

goes, every brain cell has been burnt.

13:47

I'm fighting for my life here. But

13:49

Chelsea, even like what you've done and

13:51

with stand -up, like there wasn't. women

13:53

in late night talk shows everywhere to

13:55

see like you had to first consciously

13:57

decide that can be me and and

13:59

you didn't no one like forced you

14:01

into it it was you and then

14:03

even women doing stand -up like us taking

14:06

up space is us having to be

14:08

brave and not caring what people think

14:10

yeah absolutely you kind of you do

14:12

i mean it's it's a hard it's

14:14

hard to navigate because people assume that

14:16

oh if you are acting in a

14:18

brave way you don't give a shit

14:20

what anyone thinks that's not true of

14:22

course you care what people think no

14:24

we're human we're all human beings yeah

14:26

we all get our feelings hurt we

14:28

feel like we're not good enough at

14:30

certain points in our lives i was

14:32

telling page hannah before while you were

14:34

trying to figure out how to work

14:36

a microphone. I was telling Paige how

14:39

much I liked the pictures of her

14:41

in the book as a young girl

14:43

because she looks like a young woman

14:45

at like six years old. She looks

14:47

like a little, like a woman. Like

14:49

her features are already womanly. I was

14:51

an AI baby. An AI baby. I

14:53

love AI. When they do, I follow

14:55

this site called Tiny Gentle Asians. They

14:57

have really cute little Asian babies. But

14:59

sometimes they, because of that

15:01

algorithm, because I look at that. I get

15:03

all these other little Asian babies sent

15:05

to me. And then, but some of them

15:07

are AI where they have long hair

15:09

and makeup and they have like a briefcase

15:11

and you're like, where are they going

15:13

to, you know, like woman, like little women.

15:16

I love how Chelsea's like, I don't want

15:18

babies, but I do want little babies. I

15:21

love looking at babies. Oh, God, I love

15:23

them. Especially real big ones. You know, like

15:25

when they're oversized. Yeah, oversized.

15:27

I just don't understand why anybody ever has

15:30

a thin baby. The whole point is to

15:32

have meat. You know what I mean? You

15:34

need the meat to grow. Rolls, rolls. And

15:36

you want to be snuggly. Like, who wants

15:38

to snuggle with a little skinny baby? Nobody.

15:40

And if I have to carry it around? I

15:43

want to get a workout in too.

15:45

Yeah. You know, like I'm not just.

15:47

And also hide food in it, you

15:49

know, in its little rolls or whatever.

15:51

Use it for storage. I

15:54

want it to, yeah, I want it to

15:56

jiggle when it laughs. But Paige was a

15:58

limited, she was a limited two model. Like

16:00

she was the girl in the magazine. Your

16:02

baby, well, you were, your baby was a

16:04

limited edition baby. I

16:08

was like the Fabio of

16:10

teen novels. Like when I was

16:12

12 to 14, I was

16:15

on every teen novel cover. Never

16:17

read one of them. No.

16:19

Oh, really? Really? Yeah. Oh,

16:21

interesting. So you were. Oh, that's so

16:23

funny. How many teen novels can

16:25

they put you on? Oh, my God.

16:27

I was on like 15 of

16:30

them. As different characters? Yeah. Yeah. That's

16:32

really stupid. I'm

16:34

glad you made money doing

16:36

that. Let's talk about de

16:38

-centering men because there's a lot of

16:40

people listening that have issues or thinking

16:42

about ways in which we can handle

16:44

men. And now we're living in a

16:46

time where women, I think in general,

16:48

are pretty sick of men. Yeah. It's pretty

16:50

much out. Like the cat's out of

16:52

the bag that, you know, you've really

16:54

got to step it up to be

16:56

respected. And there are great men out there

16:58

that do step it up and do

17:00

like stand with women. But there's a

17:02

lot of things that overshadow that. So

17:04

we're having a loser epidemic for sure.

17:06

Yeah. What do you think that's about? I

17:10

don't know. I saw there was

17:12

like a study or something like

17:14

the rate of how many more

17:16

women are graduating college and own

17:18

houses and how like it's. She

17:20

saw a TikTok. She watched

17:22

a TikTok. Yeah. Society hasn't

17:24

caught up. Society hasn't

17:27

caught up that like men need

17:29

women more for marriage because like we

17:31

don't need them anymore for financial

17:33

support. And so I just think

17:35

it's so funny that like the

17:37

world hasn't won't admit that. But

17:39

like we make their lives so

17:41

much better. Well, also,

17:43

it's just because we don't need them

17:45

for those things anymore. We don't need

17:47

them to buy the house anymore. And

17:50

we don't need their financial input. So

17:52

it kind of leaves men with like,

17:54

okay, now you have to actually show

17:56

us what other valuable things you can

17:58

contribute because that's not a necessity. And

18:00

they're like, wait, what? Like, what else

18:02

do I have? You have to be

18:05

charming. You have to be kind. You

18:07

have to be charismatic. You have to

18:09

be actually all the good things that

18:11

are more important. finances. Although you

18:13

do have to have some money. You

18:16

can't just fucking be broke. It's

18:18

like, come on. I mean, you have

18:20

to have your shit together. 100%.

18:22

We're a big proponent of like being single

18:24

is so much better than being in a

18:26

relationship that isn't the right fit. Where I

18:28

think there was a time where it was

18:30

like just being in a relationship and being

18:32

picked or chosen by a man meant you

18:35

were successful. And then we realized like, oh

18:37

no, that could actually be so much worse

18:39

for your mental health. And we... Paige and

18:41

I are both guilty of being boy crazy.

18:43

And I used to make so many decisions

18:45

based on, well, is he going to be

18:47

there? Is he going to like this? And

18:49

I was so good at morphing into like

18:51

the perfect girl I thought a guy could

18:53

be. Like we should get Oscars with some

18:55

of the performances I had in my 20s.

18:57

And then once I realized if you get

18:59

the guy and you're not being your authentic

19:01

self, you become a shell. Yeah.

19:03

Yeah. I once pretend to be into the Grateful

19:05

Dead. I was dating this guy named Brett and

19:07

he was a dead. He loved the dead. And

19:09

he was from Jersey. He was and I I

19:12

just pretended that I was a deadhead. Like I

19:14

was like, oh, God, I fucking love them. I've

19:16

been to like 40 shows. I've just made up

19:18

cities that I had seen them in. So ridiculous.

19:20

First all, I was lying to him about my

19:22

age, too. I think I was 17 at the

19:24

time because he was a 20. He was like

19:26

28. So I lied and said I was 21. And

19:29

I there's I hadn't even been to half of

19:31

the places that I. you know pretended I had been

19:33

and then when we got there I was like

19:35

oh my god like I tried to listen to one

19:37

of their albums before the concert Like

19:41

I was going to pick up all of,

19:43

first all, there's like no fucking lyrics to their

19:45

song either. It's just

19:47

fucked up at these shows, you

19:49

know? It's like, oh

19:51

God. I was doing a lot of crowd

19:53

work about like what's something you pretended to

19:55

like for a man and the comments were

19:57

so funny. Like girls would yell anal, his

20:00

parents, Harry

20:03

Potter. It was everything. And look, I

20:05

appreciate a man with a hobby. I do

20:07

like them being busy. And

20:09

I do like you learning from

20:11

a man, but just making sure that

20:13

he's attracted to you for who

20:15

you are and for who he is.

20:18

Right. And also finding out if we

20:20

like them. It's not

20:22

an audition. You're auditioning for me. I

20:24

am not auditioning for you. I

20:27

had this friend who set me up recently

20:29

with a guy, and I wasn't into him. And

20:31

she's like, oh, God. I go, thanks for

20:33

setting me up, but that's not going to work.

20:35

You know, there was a couple things that

20:37

I just was, were boner killers immediately, which is

20:39

almost anything with me these days. And

20:41

she was like, God, I find him so hot.

20:43

I'm like, well, that's the problem. Then you fucking

20:45

go out with him. What do you mean? You

20:47

find him so hot, so you wanted to vicariously

20:49

fuck him through me? That is so funny. What

20:51

are you doing then? You state him. I

20:54

do live vicariously through Paige though because

20:56

now she's single and I'm like, what

20:58

are we doing? And she's like, we're

21:00

not doing anything. How's single life going,

21:03

Paige? Honestly, I haven't really like, I

21:05

haven't felt like I've gotten to enjoy

21:07

it because I've been doing so much

21:09

and I... that's actually probably the best

21:11

part about being single, being home by

21:13

myself on a Saturday night. I fucking

21:15

love it. Like there's I've never gotten

21:17

bored by myself. Yeah, I'm with you

21:20

on that. I'm with you on being

21:22

alone. When I'm in Whistler, I like

21:24

to get into bed at around 730.

21:26

Yeah. And like being being in my

21:28

30s and being single, it's so I

21:30

was really nervous. I was like. Because,

21:32

I mean, when I was 25, I

21:34

was like, oh, I'll obviously be married

21:36

by my early 30s. And now that

21:39

I'm 32 and I'm single, I'm like,

21:41

I couldn't imagine. I would not. I

21:43

don't think I would like it. I'm not

21:45

ready. I already know I'm not ready. Yeah.

21:48

Well, that's great that you know that. So

21:50

talk about de -centering men, though. You guys

21:52

never answered that question. Oh, yeah. Stay focused,

21:54

OK? I

21:56

just want to ask Chelsea questions about her life.

21:59

No, decentering men is so, so important. We

22:01

have a whole part of the book where

22:03

it's like list all these things that don't

22:06

involve a dude. It's kind of like the

22:08

Bechdel test where like being conscious that you're

22:10

not making all your decisions based on if

22:12

a guy likes you. And Paige, you remember

22:14

your therapist, what she said to you about

22:16

like how you sometimes wait for men to

22:18

choose you? Yeah, I had a therapist one

22:20

time tell me that like I've never picked

22:22

my own boyfriend and it just kind of

22:25

like hit me. I mean, she was. exactly

22:27

right and I was like I couldn't ever

22:29

get over that yeah I've never gotten over

22:31

it I'm like oh my god I haven't

22:33

picked a single one of them they've all

22:35

picked me and I've just like gone along

22:37

with it and when I was first going

22:39

on a reality show I was dating a

22:41

guy and he said to me if you

22:44

go on this reality show I'll never speak

22:46

to you again And in my

22:48

head, I was like, easy, done. Like,

22:50

I'm going on this show. And that man

22:52

truly did never speak to me again.

22:54

But, like, if I had made a decision

22:56

based on my career because he didn't

22:58

want me to, like, I don't know where

23:00

I would be. So I feel like

23:02

that, too, is like a part of de

23:04

-centering men. Like, you can't make decisions based

23:06

on what they're telling you or what

23:08

they want. Because, again, they're losers. And, you

23:10

know, we are that, I feel like

23:12

that last generation that had the Disney movies

23:14

of, like, the prince is going. save

23:16

you and I feel like it's important to

23:18

have that relationship where you find the

23:20

guy who on paper is everything you want

23:22

like he's tall he's charming he's successful

23:24

but he's not right for you and like

23:26

to me that was signing a deal

23:28

with the devil like I know if you

23:30

guys have ever been in that situation

23:32

where you got the guy and then you

23:34

realize like oh no I've I've done

23:36

this all wrong so to any girl listening

23:38

thinking that a certain guy who

23:40

you're making up in your head, because

23:43

we get very creative when you're filling in

23:45

the blanks, is going to make you

23:47

happy. It really isn't. Happiness is when you

23:49

know yourself and you're comfortable in your

23:51

own skin and the guy who's with you

23:53

just like amplifies it and elevates you.

23:55

Honestly, if he's not bringing value to the

23:58

relationship, we don't have time. Yeah,

24:00

I think that it's interesting what we

24:02

are willing to kind of. like give

24:04

away of ourselves as women for not

24:06

just men, for lots of things. Like

24:08

you're willing, even when you meet a

24:10

new friend, sometimes you'll pretend you're interested

24:12

in things. I have a friend who

24:14

is different depending on who she's hanging

24:16

out with. I mean, she's not a

24:18

close friend, obviously, because I fucking hate

24:20

that shit. Oh, you hate children? I

24:22

hate children. Like, you know, somebody who

24:24

changes their temperature based on who they're

24:26

speaking to. And I think women could

24:28

do that a lot because we just

24:30

always are trying to please people. But

24:32

it is very empowering to finally step

24:34

back. woman at whatever age you are

24:36

and realize oh actually I'm the one

24:38

like I have to choose I'm choosing

24:40

to be your friend I'm choosing to

24:42

be going on a date with you

24:44

and and being the one that is

24:46

behind those choices yeah people around you

24:48

I'm just saying therapy speak now but

24:50

Paige and I have been deep in

24:52

therapy um people do you guys go

24:54

to therapy together because you should we

24:56

haven't but I heard a lot of

24:58

podcast duos do yeah Paige and I

25:00

weirdly don't fight about anything nice.

25:04

That's not weird at all, by the way.

25:06

That's nice. We thought about one thing,

25:08

and I haven't really let it go. Hannah's

25:11

husband. Yeah, that

25:15

was fucked up that day. We

25:18

hosted the Vanity Fair Oscar red

25:20

carpet, and I had a dress on

25:22

that had a slit on my

25:24

right side. Which you should have thought

25:26

about. And so like I really

25:28

needed to stand on a certain side,

25:30

but it's Hannah's bad side. Oh,

25:32

yeah. Paige doesn't have a bad side.

25:34

And she wouldn't let me stand

25:36

on that side. And I death stared

25:38

her the entire time. Oh, yeah.

25:40

Which is your good side, Hannah? My

25:42

left side is my good side.

25:44

The other side is like monster report.

25:46

Monsters, Inc. Yes. I,

25:48

yeah, it's, yeah. Yeah, Paige,

25:50

you don't seem like you have a bad

25:53

side. So that's why I was like, I

25:55

don't care that have a slit in your

25:57

little princess dress, bitch. Get to your side

25:59

because I don't want to get fired from

26:01

this gig. She looked at me like she

26:03

was my child and like I was sending

26:05

her off to summer camp for seven months.

26:07

Like she looked at me and she was

26:09

like, I'll literally die if you make me

26:11

stand on this side. We're very like low

26:13

priority friends. Like, you know, those friends were.

26:16

They're always looking for a problem. Like,

26:18

you know, you can't make dinner

26:20

and they're like, you always do. Like

26:22

they make things into bigger things. We're

26:24

low maintenance friends. We're very low

26:26

maintenance friends. Yeah. Yeah. It's really hard

26:28

to have high maintenance friends in this,

26:30

you know, in this climate. In

26:32

this political climate. In this political climate.

26:35

It's hard to stay in touch with

26:37

anybody. It really is. We're fighting

26:39

for our fucking lives right now. Save

26:41

yourself. You girls talk a lot. We

26:43

are. We are fighting for our

26:45

lives. You girls talk a lot about

26:47

we're about to just be disenfranchised from

26:49

voting completely. So especially married people.

26:51

So there you go, Hannah. Again, another

26:53

winner, winner, winner, winner. You guys

26:55

talk a lot about being nervous. And you

26:57

do so much. I mean, your social anxiety you

26:59

talk a lot about. And you talk about

27:01

talking about that a lot. But you're

27:04

both doing public -facing things. So when you

27:06

have that, how does that work? How

27:08

do you manage your social anxiety? I

27:10

take a beta blocker. Yeah,

27:12

a propranolol. Yeah. Yeah,

27:15

I gave mine to my friend the other morning

27:17

when she woke up. She had done mushrooms the

27:19

night before and she was all anxious the next

27:21

day. And, you know, sometimes mushrooms hit weird. You

27:23

guys don't do enough drugs. I feel like your

27:25

generation doesn't do enough drugs. No, we're millennials. We've

27:28

done drugs. But Gen Z, they

27:30

don't. Yeah, that's the generation. They don't

27:33

do drugs. Even their teen pregnancy

27:35

rate is even down. Yeah, they're not

27:37

even fucking in their parents' basement.

27:39

They're not even sneaking out. They're not

27:41

even getting fingered on the side

27:43

of their leg. They're using Therapy's Week.

27:46

Yeah. How do you get fingered on the side of

27:48

your leg? When you're like, you know, when you're

27:50

like 14 and he has no idea what he's doing

27:52

and you're like, that feels so good. And then

27:55

you tell your friends, you're like, we're like, we had

27:57

the best time. That

27:59

was my thigh. Okay,

28:02

we're going to take a break and

28:04

we'll be right back with Hannah and

28:06

Paige. If you'd like advice from Chelsea,

28:09

write in to us at DearChelseaPodcast at

28:11

gmail.com. We'd love to hear your questions

28:13

for any juicy story you'd like advice

28:15

on. And this week, we're especially looking

28:17

for questions about dating. If you are

28:19

dating, if you're single, if you have

28:21

issues with someone that you just met,

28:23

if you have issues with someone that

28:25

been dating for a while, please write

28:27

in at DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. It

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seems like there's a new streaming app

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32:10

we're back with Hannah and Paige from

32:12

the Giggly Squad. We're talking about their new

32:14

book, How to Giggle. Catherine, we're going

32:17

to take some callers, and I'm sure you

32:19

guys can give your sagacious advice. All

32:21

right. Well, our first question is just

32:23

an email. She's not joining us, but

32:25

it comes from Carrie. She says, Dear

32:27

Chelsea, I'm writing to ask an etiquette

32:29

question regarding my nephew's wedding. The wedding

32:31

invitations arrived, and my grown daughter, 27

32:34

years old, was invited. However, her partner,

32:36

with whom she shares a home, and

32:38

a child was not included. The two

32:40

-year -old was not on the invitation either,

32:42

which I understand it'll be an adults

32:44

-only event, but I'm confused why her

32:46

partner is not included, as they've been

32:48

together for five years. I can only

32:50

assume it's because they're not married. Should

32:52

I say something or just let it

32:55

be? I do not think my daughter

32:57

will attend without her person. Thank you,

32:59

Carrie. That's weird. I

33:02

thought the rule was over

33:04

18, you get a plus one.

33:07

Well, not everybody invites you with a plus one

33:09

because, but if you know somebody has a

33:11

partner, they should be invited. Yeah. And they have

33:13

a fucking baby together. That is weird. I

33:15

would say something. I would say something, but I

33:17

say something about everything. So what do you

33:19

girls think? I would say something. It's worth it.

33:21

Throw it out there. Was this the mom,

33:23

by the way? This is the mom. Yes. The

33:25

daughter. This is the mom. Get your mom

33:28

to call her. Yeah. Get your mom to deal

33:30

with that. Exactly. For sure. But also lose

33:32

the baby. Don't include the baby in that invitation.

33:34

Nobody wants them there. Fuck that baby. I

33:36

do think moms sometimes want to like make it

33:38

more drama than it actually is. Like it

33:40

might actually have just been an oversight. Maybe someone

33:42

was helping with the invitations and left off,

33:44

you know. So, I mean, act like, oh, maybe

33:47

this was just an oversight. Like they forgot

33:49

to put a name on. Yeah. Yeah.

33:51

Yeah. But definitely bring it up. Yeah,

33:53

all the wedding stuff, weddings have

33:55

become like, I hate to use

33:57

this word, but chuggy. Like it

33:59

almost feels like weddings have become

34:01

like handmaid's tale -y to me.

34:03

I know. They have a certain

34:06

like eeriness to them. The dad

34:08

walking you down the aisle and

34:10

then you're wearing white. It's

34:13

all very outdated, in

34:15

my opinion, weddings. It's

34:17

like, let's update this.

34:20

Exactly, exactly. I felt awkward during

34:22

mine, but it was fun. Okay,

34:24

you keep telling yourself that, Hannah. I'm

34:28

going to be divorced by the end of this. Can

34:30

you just black out? It's

34:33

like the night I decided to try

34:35

whiskey sours for the first time. And I

34:37

was like, I fucking love these. Oh,

34:40

my God. I did that at my sister's

34:42

wedding. I was like 16 years old. I

34:44

went up to the bartender. We were on

34:46

Martha's Vineyard. And I was like, what is

34:48

a drink that is going to fucking get

34:50

me fucked up? And I was 16 in

34:52

my Laura Ashley bridesmaid dress. And he's like,

34:54

Long Island iced tea. I had seven. My

34:56

father carried me up to my sister's honeymoon

34:59

suite and put me in bed at like

35:01

730 at night and said, don't. come down

35:03

to the wedding again. I'm obsessed with that.

35:05

I fell in love with alcohol. I was

35:07

like, I can use this to avoid weddings.

35:09

Then for sure. And

35:11

you get carried. That's amazing. I want

35:13

to get carried everywhere. We actually, at

35:15

my wedding, we planned for Paige to

35:17

catch the bouquet. So we like fully

35:20

cheated, like fully like quarterback.

35:22

Like I called the shots. But

35:24

it's now... And really just because I didn't

35:26

want anyone else to catch it, not because

35:28

I wanted to get married next. I was

35:30

just like, no one's catching my best friend's

35:32

bouquet. Right. Well, now this video is going

35:34

viral of the bouquet being thrown and all

35:36

these girls running away from it. Like, that's

35:38

the theme now. Like, I don't want to

35:40

get married next. Oh, that's cute.

35:42

I like that. Yeah. Who...

35:44

Yeah, trying not to get hit with

35:47

the bouquet is the new game. There you

35:49

go. You just try to peg your

35:51

friends like dodgeball. Yes, exactly. Like, tag, you're

35:53

it. That's actually... That's an ominous, yeah,

35:55

it's an ominous warning. Yes, yes.

35:57

Well, our next caller is Nora,

35:59

and she had a toxic ex reach

36:01

back out to her. So she

36:03

says, Dear Chelsea, I had one of

36:06

the most heartbreaking breakups last summer

36:08

a couple days before my birthday. It

36:10

all started with me going out sailing with

36:12

my boyfriend, having a great time, about to say

36:14

I love you to him for the first

36:17

time when he stopped me mid -sentence and said,

36:19

don't say it. And then long story short, she

36:21

got wasted and got him banned from like

36:23

his yacht club. He then proceeded to ghost me

36:25

for two days and blow off the dinner

36:27

I had planned with him and a friend. After

36:29

my friend left, he broke up with me

36:31

via text. We continued to talk here and there

36:33

the following month. He'd say how he missed

36:35

our sushi nights together. Then one morning he texted

36:38

me saying we needed to cut ties because...

36:40

I drunk texted him the night before. Not more

36:42

than 10 minutes later, he posted a picture

36:44

on Instagram of his new girlfriend saying how he

36:46

knew right away he found someone special. It

36:48

felt like a slap in the face because he

36:50

claimed he didn't want me to post us

36:52

together because I haven't met his 11 -year -old daughter

36:54

yet. This was a lie since he posted

36:56

the new girlfriend a week after meeting and also

36:59

met his daughter the first week. Meanwhile, we

37:01

dated for over six months and he never introduced

37:03

me to her. I never felt

37:05

so hurt or disrespected. I was planning to let

37:07

the air out of his tires, but saw his

37:09

new girlfriend's car in the driveway and not his.

37:11

I got mad and pushed over all his lawn

37:13

furniture and went home. I also signed him up

37:15

for every cult and weird religion out there when

37:17

I was high with my friend one night. We

37:20

blocked each other since, but recently he's reached

37:22

out via Instagram to ask how I was doing

37:24

and say that he was sorry for the

37:26

way things ended. I told him I'm not ready

37:28

to be friends or talk to him. I

37:30

ended up blocking him because I didn't trust myself.

37:32

However, hearing from him has brought back all

37:34

the feelings I felt for him before the breakup,

37:37

as well as sadness and anger I felt

37:39

after the breakup. I feel like sometimes I like

37:41

the drama and secretly I would love if

37:43

he wanted to get back with me, even though

37:45

I know deep down I shouldn't. Any advice

37:47

on how to move forward and not let this

37:49

affect my dating life? Nora. I love your

37:51

voice. I could listen to you read stories. I

37:53

feel like all day. thanks, Paige. Hi,

37:55

Nora. How are you? Hi,

37:58

how are you? Oh, she's here. That's

38:00

fine. Oh, my gosh. Surprise. Yes,

38:02

this is Nora. Tipsy doodles.

38:04

My God. Hello. Nora, say hello

38:06

to Paige and Hannah. I

38:09

love you guys. I listen to

38:11

Giggly Squad literally every week, and my

38:13

friends going to freak out. I'm

38:15

so glad you guys are the guests.

38:18

Bye. Literally obsessed with you guys.

38:20

Thank you so much. I thought you were a

38:22

producer. I was like, oh, she's coming. were going

38:24

to fire us. We thought you were on the

38:26

Zoom to fire us. And Chelsea

38:28

was just surprising us. She's an

38:30

interventionist. We're intervening. This is about

38:32

your marriage, Hannah. Actually, this

38:34

isn't a podcast. Paige,

38:36

tell her what we're doing. Yeah. Nora's

38:39

like, I'm, does a secret

38:41

family. You need to fucking wake up,

38:43

Nora, first of all, okay? Let's yell

38:45

at her. You cannot be attracted to

38:47

men who treat you badly. This is

38:49

a condition. And if you don't learn

38:51

it now, you're going to continue to

38:53

learn this over and over and over

38:55

again. He is not worthy

38:57

of you. No man who treats

38:59

you that way is worthy of you.

39:02

And regardless of what happened and

39:04

like posting on Instagram, all of that

39:06

is garbage. It's all nonsense. You

39:08

know, he's completely full of shit, completely

39:10

full of shit. And just did that

39:12

to like actively torture you. Like posting

39:14

it 10 minutes after you spoke is

39:16

somebody who's actively trying to hurt your

39:18

feelings. And you're saying that

39:21

you like that. The girl who's dating was

39:23

like, okay, we need to. You

39:25

need to post something because like we

39:27

need like she was feeling insecure that I

39:29

was still talking to him. But I'm

39:31

like, all you need to do is just

39:33

text me and say, hey, I'm seeing

39:35

someone. And like, we can't talk anymore instead

39:37

of just post on Instagram, which he

39:39

knew is what I wanted. for

39:42

the six months. But this is all, like,

39:44

I want to take everything he said to you,

39:46

everything he said to you, all of your

39:48

communication, put it in a big plastic garbage bag

39:50

over your head and throw it out the

39:52

fucking window because none of the details matter. Nothing

39:54

you said to him and he said to

39:56

you, you're like, you're focusing on the minutia of

39:58

it and it's like, what did you say

40:00

and what did he say? It doesn't matter. He's

40:02

a piece of garbage. He doesn't respect you

40:04

and he's not careful about your feelings. So that's

40:06

all, you've got all that information and that's

40:08

all you need to know to stay away. from

40:10

men like that because otherwise you keep repeating

40:12

this nonsense. You know what I mean? And as

40:14

a woman, I can tell you it's true.

40:16

You repeat these cycles until you break them. So

40:18

don't you want to break the cycle and

40:20

only date men that are going to treat you

40:23

with respect? Yes. And

40:25

I have had long -term relationships

40:27

where I've had boyfriends that treated

40:29

me with respect. And I mean,

40:31

sometimes it's just not the right

40:33

place or they're a little bit

40:35

boring. I guess I do like

40:37

the drama a little bit. We

40:40

understand playing games. Paige and I love

40:42

games and we love getting obsessed with

40:44

the guy who never lets you fully

40:46

have him. But as someone who's very

40:48

competitive, the way you really win is

40:50

not getting him. The way you win

40:52

is him never having access to you

40:55

ever again and going and crushing it.

40:57

You want him to look at his phone

40:59

and be like... fucked up with her and

41:01

she's so happy without me. That's the win. Hannah,

41:04

like if I, I also love a

41:06

little bit of toxic. Like I get the

41:08

fun of like back and forth and

41:10

back and forth. And I get like, that

41:12

can be exciting until it gets to a

41:14

point where it's just too much. And

41:16

I used to do this thing where I

41:18

would like block them and be like, okay,

41:20

they'll never see me again. And then

41:22

Hannah was like, why would you block them?

41:24

Let them see how much better you are

41:26

than them. And then I started like, posting

41:29

for revenge. And then I would like want

41:31

to accomplish things in my career, truly out of

41:33

revenge. And then I would do it. And

41:35

I'd be like, oh, I actually started this because

41:37

I wanted to get back at some guy.

41:39

But now I really am going to go on

41:41

Jimmy Fallon. You know, like now he has

41:44

no access to you. He can't even be in

41:46

the same room as you. Like that's winning

41:48

him. Him choosing you and then fucking it up

41:50

later is just a waste of your time. Yeah.

41:53

And I went to Japan and like he

41:55

was supposed to come and like he. Got to

41:57

see all the photos he missed out on.

41:59

I went for two weeks. I went on, like,

42:01

a solo trip to Puerto Rico. And that's

42:03

when he saw it and was like, oh, fuck.

42:05

Like, she's having an amazing time. Like, I

42:08

miss her. And I'm like, yeah,

42:10

I know. You can't meet a new guy

42:12

unless you also, like, close it with him. I'm

42:14

about that with careers, too. Like, you have

42:16

to really close the door for other doors to

42:18

open. And I think you should torture him

42:20

by never talking to him again. But

42:23

just posting like my travel. Yeah.

42:25

Yeah. But just also as like an ethos

42:27

to yourself, you have to like make a

42:29

promise to yourself that you're not going to

42:31

be. That's beneath your set of standards. Like

42:33

you want your standards here and people need

42:35

to meet them, especially if you're going to

42:37

be dating them. And that's just the way

42:39

it has to be. Yeah. Don't engage. And

42:41

I did take six months to like really

42:44

like work on myself and like not date

42:46

anyone. And like I got a new therapist

42:48

and everything. So I feel like I really

42:50

learned how to be on my own without.

42:52

dating because i was always dating someone

42:54

or having questions someone because it's fun

42:56

but i was like well i need

42:58

to learn to just like be okay

43:01

with my career my friends and like

43:03

by myself and that's the hardest part

43:05

it's always a learning process Yeah. But

43:07

then you're going to realize like, oh,

43:09

oh, that that actually brings you so

43:11

much more and long term, like your

43:13

career and your friendships are going to

43:15

be there for you. You know, so

43:17

throughout all these guys, however many men

43:19

you end up dating in your life

43:21

and there will be, you know, multiple

43:23

people, hopefully you're not, you know, like

43:25

that's that's a nice thing to have

43:27

variety and have different experiences. But yeah,

43:29

I would say put all your energy

43:32

into your work and into your friendships

43:34

and into your family. And that's where

43:36

you're going to get the light back.

43:38

And I feel like as much fun

43:40

as it is to like have that

43:42

toxic relationship sometimes, it's so much more

43:44

fun when someone's obsessed with you. Like

43:46

I really do believe that the guy

43:48

has to like the girl more. And

43:50

I love that. You know, I love

43:52

when they're. Also, there's nothing hotter than

43:54

a guy who's like playing games with

43:56

you and you don't actually know what

43:58

he's like. Like you're making up in

44:00

your head how great this guy is.

44:03

That girl's bored with him. Yeah. Like

44:06

anytime I see an ex with a

44:08

new girlfriend, I'm like, oh, I feel

44:10

so bad for her. She's like a

44:12

week away from realizing this guy fucking

44:14

sucks. Well, he broke up with

44:16

her after two months because he's like,

44:18

oh, yeah, I was wrong. Leave

44:20

him out to dry. Leave him

44:22

to dry. Sorry I'm yelling, Chelsea. No.

44:25

funny because she's like, I'm like, what happened

44:28

to the girl? He's like, oh no,

44:30

like it didn't work out. I was wrong.

44:32

She's actually like. Stop talking to him.

44:34

Just stop talking to him. Don't engage. How

44:36

tall is he? I

44:38

need to know. I literally need to know.

44:41

That's the only reason you're giving this advice.

44:44

If he was 5 '6", would

44:46

you even be responding? No.

44:50

No. And he's going to

44:52

bed too, which is also, you know, I

44:54

know something. Let's fast forward to if

44:56

it actually did work out and you're in the

44:58

kitchen with him one day and he's annoying you and

45:00

you hate how he breathes and you remember how

45:02

he didn't even choose you the first time around. You'll

45:04

hit him with a kitchen knife, you know? Yeah.

45:06

Like, this is not good. Hannah, what's

45:08

up with the pen in your hand? Are

45:11

you journaling? Yes, I'm taking notes. You're

45:13

taking air notes. You always tell people to

45:15

write stuff down, Chelsea. He's doing that. I

45:17

was going to take notes, but it

45:19

turned into hearts and doodles. What were

45:22

you going to take notes on? She

45:24

doesn't know what she's talking about, honestly.

45:26

It's so ridiculous. It makes

45:28

me look official. Nora, thanks for calling

45:30

in. You need to get your shit together,

45:32

okay? Like, no more of this bullshit,

45:34

okay? Okay, just my love life. Everything else

45:36

is good. Yeah, everything else is good,

45:38

but, like, don't obsess over this guy. I

45:40

know that it's easier said than done,

45:42

but you just hurt us. Like, that's a

45:44

waste of your time. You're better than

45:46

that. Okay, bye. Okay. Okay. Bye. We

45:49

love you. Bye. Love you

45:51

too. Wait, Chelsea, look at my

45:53

sweat. No, This is

45:55

how worked up I am. This

45:58

is what men do to me. I

46:00

got pissed at the last call. Hannah looks

46:02

like both of her underarms water just

46:04

broke. She's sweating. She has

46:06

diarrhea out from under her arms. Oh,

46:08

my God. Okay, it's actually a

46:10

disease, Chelsea, so you should be more

46:12

sensitive. Hyperhidrosis? A

46:14

disease called hypo -something. Anyway, who's

46:18

next? Okay, our next

46:20

caller is Joelle. Dear Chelsea,

46:22

I'm a 37 -year -old single woman looking

46:24

for some advice on how to embrace

46:26

and fully embrace. my single life. For

46:28

most of my life, I yearn to

46:30

be in a relationship, but thanks to

46:32

therapy and your insightful podcast, I've come

46:34

to realize that being single can bring

46:36

me immense joy. Recently, I've found happiness

46:38

in simply enjoying life, pursuing hobbies, traveling

46:41

solo, making the most out of

46:43

every moment. I have a successful career,

46:45

own my home, and am surrounded by an

46:47

amazing group of friends. My life feels

46:49

absolutely perfect. So what's the problem? While I

46:51

genuinely love my independence, I often find

46:53

myself wanting to share the experiences with someone.

46:56

going on trips, going out dancing, or having

46:58

nice dinners, I've noticed that most of my

47:00

friends are in relationships, married, or have children. This

47:03

has made organizing activities a bit tricky.

47:05

They either have family commitments or financial

47:07

responsibilities that make it difficult to join

47:09

in, and while I'm not mad or

47:11

jealous, I do miss having more spontaneous

47:13

social opportunities. As I grow older, I

47:15

find that fewer friends are available for

47:17

a casual Friday night out. I

47:19

also want to mention that I don't want children.

47:22

And while I'd be happy to get married, I've

47:24

stopped trying to date because it just became too

47:26

hard. So I'm focusing on living my life to

47:28

the fullest as a single woman. So I'm reaching

47:30

out for advice. Should I accept that as the

47:32

only single gal in my circle, I might have

47:34

to do most activities alone from now on? Or

47:36

should I make an effort to find new friends

47:38

who are more in the same lane as I

47:40

am right now, Joelle? Hi,

47:43

Joelle. Hi. Hi,

47:45

this is Paige and Hannah, our special guest

47:47

today. Hi, Joelle. Hi, guys. This

47:49

is so great. You guys, I feel like

47:51

you're perfect to give me advice. Yeah, seriously.

47:53

I feel like we need to start a

47:55

forum. I mean, there must be some forums

47:57

out there for people who don't have children

47:59

who need to band together, right?

48:01

There should be some sort of where you

48:03

can meet people in your community who also

48:05

have these same ideas about life. Because you

48:07

do, first all, you have to branch out

48:09

and you have to make some new friends.

48:11

Not replace your friends. Of course, you know,

48:13

they can be your friends. And you want

48:15

to maintain friendships with all the people that,

48:17

you know. are important to you. But yeah,

48:20

there's plenty of people out there that are

48:22

doing exactly what you're doing that aren't into

48:24

that lifestyle. But how do you go about,

48:26

where do you live? I'm in Toronto.

48:28

Oh, okay. Well, that's a great, well, that's

48:30

a big city. So that's going to be,

48:32

that's not that, that's not that. I think you

48:34

just have to like get outside of your

48:36

comfort zone and like do some things that

48:38

you wouldn't normally do just to start taking exercise

48:40

classes, like going to some sort of art

48:42

event or going to like any, any sort

48:45

of like group hiking activity, like doing things

48:47

where you're just going to meet people. You know

48:49

what I mean? That you wouldn't normally meet

48:51

in whatever you're doing thus far. Like what's

48:53

your social situation like? Like, where do you, what

48:55

do you. like to do no i do

48:57

i like i obviously like exercising and i

48:59

i love like going to concert and things i

49:01

guess like it's just that like i'm 38

49:03

so it's just at the point of like

49:05

okay i guess my friends have kids and

49:07

they're like in the younger age so i know

49:09

that like You also get easier for them

49:12

to like want to hang out. But this

49:14

is like the age where like they need a

49:16

babysitter and stuff. So I'm just like, OK,

49:18

do I wait it out or do I

49:20

just like exactly like you said, like try

49:22

to find new friends, which like I hate meeting

49:24

people. But so I guess I need to

49:26

try and meet people and just get new

49:28

friends to kind of do the activities I want

49:30

to do. I think you wait for your

49:32

friends to get divorced. They will soon. Start

49:37

a fight of their husbands. Get

49:39

her back. That's a nice idea. That's

49:41

a great idea. Have you done that

49:43

yet? Have you thought about doing that,

49:45

Joelle? I haven't, but you know what?

49:47

I'll think about it. I'll think about

49:49

it. No, I do think making friends

49:51

as an adult, Joelle, is so hard

49:53

and weird. But what Chelsea's saying is

49:55

I feel like there's so many people

49:57

just like you. Like there needs to

49:59

be an app or something made. And

50:01

Paige literally sent me a meme today

50:03

talking about how these later in life

50:05

friends you make could be so special

50:07

because they're like meeting you when you're

50:09

fully evolved. And what it sounds like,

50:11

I'm hearing two things. One. that you

50:13

love being single and you love being

50:16

alone, but you also yearn for a

50:18

little bit of friendship or possible relationships.

50:20

So you got to get out of

50:22

the nest a little. That's the first

50:24

step, even though it is uncomfortable. But

50:26

I think the rewards will be big.

50:28

Yeah. Are you on like dating apps or

50:30

how are you meeting people? I am not

50:33

on dating apps. They're just the word. I

50:35

know. I know. But it's. I know, I

50:37

know. But we're talking about friends. And she,

50:39

you know, she's saying that she's not, that

50:41

the dating thing isn't the priority for her,

50:43

I think. Right, Joelle? It's friends. No, exactly.

50:45

If I meet someone, that's great. But like

50:47

right now, I'm just like, I'm good being

50:49

single. I just to live my life and

50:51

just not have like any boy drama for

50:53

now. Yeah, I respect that. And that's fine.

50:55

Like you can take a cooking class, you

50:57

know, you can like kind of just like

51:00

bounce around to do different things that may

51:02

seem like corny or whatever, or like out,

51:04

you know, that you wouldn't normally do. Or

51:06

even if it feels like it's a couple's

51:08

thing. Like you go like sign up for

51:10

some hiking class or some like short, you

51:12

know, five mile like running group. Chelsea wants

51:14

you to hike so bad. I don't know

51:16

why I keep saying hiking. Whenever I think

51:18

about things, group activities, I think of hikers.

51:20

Wait, actually one of my friends randomly joined,

51:22

like took a ballet Hikers Anonymous. Like

51:26

just like wanted to take ballet and just

51:28

like see what it was like. And she was

51:30

obsessed with it. And she met like this

51:32

whole group of girls that like can't do ballet.

51:34

And now they hang out like outside of

51:36

ballet instead. There's something about getting older where you

51:38

get connected to your inner child again, where

51:40

you're like, wait, what did I love to do?

51:42

Or what do I want to do? And

51:45

Paige and I are starting this new thing called

51:47

hobbies. We never did it before. It's

51:49

very difficult. But trying like what Chelsea was

51:51

saying, random things that you think you might like.

51:53

It's so easy to make friends while you're

51:55

like doing pottery. You're like, I like your pot.

51:57

And she's like, I like your pot. And

51:59

you have a commonality instead of And then you

52:01

smoke pot. You smoke pot. But you don't

52:03

have to like creepily go up to someone like

52:06

at a bar and be like, do you

52:08

want to be my friend? Yeah. Right,

52:10

right. But also just like expand your

52:12

surround, you know, like broaden your horizons. Like

52:14

do just get out and do some

52:16

things that you haven't done in a while.

52:18

And with the vibe that you're down

52:20

and ready to make some new friends and

52:22

you're going to attract people just by

52:24

having that kind of energy. Very positive, upbeat,

52:27

optimistic, just like looking for new connections.

52:29

I've made tons of friends. I just turned

52:31

50 and I when I was 40,

52:33

I made a whole new group of friends

52:35

when I moved to Whistler, when I

52:37

bought a place in Whistler. I have like.

52:39

10 super close girlfriends that live here

52:41

now, in addition to my regular rotary. So

52:43

you're never going to stop making friends.

52:46

And while it might be like an awkward

52:48

attempt in the beginning, it's a good

52:50

practice to keep going. Then you

52:52

start traveling with people. You meet people

52:54

when you're away. There's no shortage of

52:56

opportunities to meet other people. It's really

52:58

in the vibe that you're putting out.

53:01

That's true. And actually like second part to that, like,

53:03

and I feel like you guys probably like, I don't

53:05

know if you have that issue, but like on the

53:07

money aspect, when you're making those friends, like sometimes that

53:09

is hard to be like, hey, like I kind of

53:11

like nice things and want to go to nice dinners.

53:13

But then other people are kind of like, oh, I

53:16

don't have the disposable income. Like, have you guys have

53:18

like this issue of just like, hey, like you're obviously

53:20

in a like bracket where you can like just afford

53:22

anything that you want. But then do you have friends

53:24

that are like not in the same bracket? And like,

53:26

how do you manage that? That's such

53:28

a good question. It is a great question. I

53:30

mean, in my situation, I just pay for

53:32

everyone all the time, but I know that's not

53:34

reasonable because I don't want to fucking hear

53:37

about splitting checks. I don't ever want to hear

53:39

about that. I would pay extra

53:41

money to not hear that conversation. But I

53:43

understand that's not a reality for everyone. I

53:45

would just be sensitive to other people's financial

53:47

situations and be like, yes, you don't have

53:49

to cut someone off because they can't afford

53:51

to go to Nobu with you, but you

53:53

can just be mindful and go somewhere with

53:55

them. It is a little bit less expensive

53:57

and save Nobu for your friends who are

53:59

in the same kind of income bracket. And

54:02

there's also nothing wrong with you going to

54:04

Nobu by yourself. You know what I mean?

54:06

And having a nice, I've done that plenty

54:08

of times and I love that. So just

54:10

really be mindful, I would say, of the

54:12

energy that you're putting out to attract. Like

54:14

there's a magnetism that we all have when

54:16

we're in like a happy, good, curious place.

54:18

And that's where you want to be when

54:20

you're meeting people. And, you know, you could

54:22

take a dance class. You could do any

54:24

of that, any of those things. could

54:27

go play pickleball. People love pickleball.

54:29

I know. I know. I feel

54:31

that way about pickleball, too. Hannah

54:33

likes pickleball. No,

54:35

Hannah hates pickleball. I know. I'm kidding.

54:37

I know she hates it because she's

54:39

a proper tennis player. Yeah. So

54:41

are you, Chels. But I do

54:43

like having specific friends for things. You

54:46

love sushi. You have your girl you

54:48

always hit up when you want to go

54:50

to sushi. Or you have your girl

54:52

who likes to do yoga with you or

54:54

something. So that's okay, too, I think,

54:56

to have those people that you pick for

54:58

different events. Right. Well, we're just focusing

55:00

on getting her some new friends, okay? So

55:02

not right now. She doesn't have 50

55:04

to choose from. We want to make her

55:06

go out and get these friends. And

55:09

then, yes, and then you can pick ones

55:11

for specific activities. Chelsea, how do you

55:13

approach people if you want to be their

55:15

friend? What do you do? If I

55:17

want to be someone's friend, I'm full. I'm

55:19

full right now. I don't have room. I'll

55:22

give you some of my friends, Joelle. Do you want

55:24

that? There's no rich

55:26

ones, though. Joelle

55:29

is like, I want some

55:31

sugar daddies. Sugar mamas. Sugar

55:33

mamas. Sometimes when I meet someone and I don't have

55:35

time for them, like the bandwidth, I give them

55:37

to my sister. I'm like, I have a new friend

55:39

that wants a lot from me. Do you want

55:41

her? My

55:43

sister's like, I like her. I'll take her. Once

55:47

I did invite a bunch of people to

55:49

a dinner, including Paige, and then I didn't show

55:51

up, so Paige had to hang out with

55:53

them. Oh, I love that. I love that. That

55:55

was the craziest move I've ever seen her

55:57

pull. I got a cough. Had it all arranged.

55:59

And Joelle, in the meantime, with your existing

56:01

friends that you have, you know, be flexible about

56:03

spending time with them when they can, you

56:05

know, so that you're not missing them too. And

56:07

I understand when people have little children, it's

56:09

really difficult to make those kinds of arrangements and

56:11

it is kind of taxing. So, but, you

56:13

know, don't count them out. You know, you can

56:15

go and hang out over there. I know

56:17

you don't want to hang out with the kids

56:19

all the time, but like, you know, just

56:21

be a little bit bendable so that it works

56:23

both ways. Yeah, no, for sure.

56:25

That's definitely something I can do. Yeah.

56:27

Okay. So what's, what are you going to

56:30

do now? What's, what's your plan? Well,

56:32

I guess I'm going to go find new

56:34

friends. Um, I won't do, I won't

56:36

do ballet, but I do, I do started

56:38

playing tennis. So I think that's so

56:40

fun. A doubles league. You meet so many

56:42

people, right? You could join a tennis

56:44

club. That's such a fun backdrop. It's like

56:47

white Lotus. Yeah. OK,

56:49

well, but yeah, no, exactly. Yeah, it's just like

56:51

I guess it's just getting out of my comfort

56:53

zone. And like it was like maybe like, oh,

56:55

do I wait it out a couple of years?

56:57

And, you know, when my friends get available. But

56:59

yeah, no, as you mentioned, and I also read

57:01

your book and I love that part in Whistler

57:03

when you made all the new friends like your

57:05

skiing friends. So I was like, yeah, maybe I'm

57:07

just in the part of my life where I

57:09

can find like new single friends. I want to

57:11

do like no. Yeah. I'm always making friends. Like,

57:13

seriously. I mean, I know I joke about not

57:15

wanting any more, but I'm always making new friends.

57:17

And like, as you age, I think you get

57:19

better at making friends. And you also are more

57:21

discerning about who you choose to be friends with.

57:24

Very true. Very true. You're a better picker.

57:26

Yeah. So pick wisely, Joelle. You're going to

57:28

have lots of people wanting to be friends

57:30

with you. Amazing. And you have four new

57:32

friends today. your friends. Perfect.

57:34

Great. You're all in my, hopefully

57:36

in my. Pack brackets.

57:40

See you in Toronto. I like

57:42

choosing friends with financial. Above

57:45

me financially. You have

57:47

to choose friends based on

57:49

their financial situation. Send

57:51

me your tax return and I'll

57:53

see if I can make you a

57:55

tax return. A tax return and

57:57

a therapy bill. Yes. Both. All

57:59

right. Thanks for calling in. Have a

58:01

great day. Bye.

58:04

Chelsea, I love how you hold people accountable.

58:06

You're like, so what are we doing when

58:09

you leave this call? Yeah. I just feel

58:11

like women need to know that. You do

58:13

make friends as you go through life. It's

58:15

not like you make friends and then that

58:17

part of your life is over. Yeah. And

58:20

you have to be willing to do

58:22

stuff that you don't want to do.

58:25

I went mountain biking the other day. I

58:27

mean, I didn't want to do that. No.

58:29

I don't know what the point of me

58:32

saying that is, but I just... Like all my

58:34

friends here, the snow is not that great.

58:36

And they're like, let's. So I had my boat

58:38

bike. I flew my bike up. And then

58:40

they were like, OK, we're going to take you

58:42

mountain biking now because this is what we

58:44

do when the snow is gone. And I'm like,

58:46

OK. And then I went mountain biking. I'm

58:48

like, I don't really think this is for me.

58:50

No. But you're so adventurous. I

58:52

know. But I'll do it again because whatever. It's

58:54

like my friends like to do that. So I'll

58:56

do it with them. You know, like you want

58:58

to be like malleable. You're not like rigid. I

59:01

will only do this. I only like to do

59:03

this. I hate when. People are like that. Yeah.

59:05

Some people have like friend groups since they were

59:07

like in elementary school, which I was always jealous

59:09

of. But then I was just going to say

59:11

that. Yeah. No, I have a friend.

59:13

I have a friend who she and her

59:15

nine friends have been friends their entire lives. They're

59:17

like they're all 44 and they've been together.

59:19

And it's so beautiful and nice. But they all

59:21

have other groups of friends, too. You have

59:23

to. You have to. Yeah, I went to three

59:25

different high schools. So I've always like. Well,

59:27

we know why that happened. We're

59:30

going to take a break and we'll be right back

59:32

with Hannah and Paige. It

59:34

seems like there's a new streaming app

59:36

every day, right? And there are already too

59:38

many to keep track of. And that's

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1:00:39

at directtv.com. Hello, LA -bound thrill -seekers.

1:00:41

It's Chelsea Handler, your fearless guide

1:00:43

to the city of angels. Discover

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1:00:48

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a shopping spree? Explore the city's

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streets or taking in iconic attractions

1:01:14

that make L .A. the entertainment capital

1:01:16

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1:01:18

endless possibilities. Come experience the city

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where wonder and creativity thrive. We

1:01:22

love L .A. Ready to explore? Find

1:01:24

more ways to love L .A.

1:01:27

at discoverla.com. Chelsea Handler signing off,

1:01:29

urging you to savor every moment.

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we're back with Hannah and Paige. Paige DeSorbo

1:03:01

and Hannah Berner wrote a new book. They

1:03:03

wrote it together. They actually wrote the book

1:03:05

together, which is called How to Giggle. And

1:03:07

they're from the Giggly Squad, which is your

1:03:09

podcast that everybody loves. And everybody loves to

1:03:12

giggle. And Chelsea, we were very inspired by

1:03:14

your books. Yeah. Your books. Well, I didn't

1:03:16

see that when you shouted out to all

1:03:18

of the icons in the book. I didn't

1:03:20

see my name there. So that's funny that

1:03:22

Although you're on the back cover. That's funny

1:03:24

you say that. I saw Barbara Corcoran on

1:03:26

there. But I didn't see

1:03:28

Chelsea Hannah. Hannah's obsessed with Barbara Corcoran.

1:03:30

It's kind of crazy. Clearly. I

1:03:32

haven't heard her name referenced outside of

1:03:34

that show ever. I'm like,

1:03:37

Barbara Corcoran? Who is she talking about? Is this

1:03:39

a politician? You leave Barbara Corcoran alone, Chelsea. Wait,

1:03:41

you have to have her on the pod. Oh.

1:03:43

I have to find out who she is

1:03:45

first. Is she the

1:03:47

blonde woman from Shark Tank? Yeah. With

1:03:50

the short hair. She's a

1:03:52

pip. You would like her. But no, Chelsea,

1:03:54

we got you to give a quote on the

1:03:56

back. That was the only quote I wanted

1:03:58

was Chelsea Well, I don't have that because I

1:04:00

got the book electronically, Hannah. So fuck off,

1:04:02

okay? So there is no quote from me anywhere

1:04:05

to be found. Do you know what your

1:04:07

quote is? Do you know what it is? What

1:04:09

does it say? It says, I met them

1:04:11

once, Chelsea Handler. That

1:04:16

was before I even met Paige. Yeah.

1:04:20

met one of them. It should have been I met

1:04:22

one of them once. I

1:04:25

met half of them once and I forgot.

1:04:27

I forgot what it was. Okay.

1:04:29

Well, Catherine, what else do we have? Do

1:04:32

you want to close up with something? I do

1:04:34

have one little quickie if you're okay on

1:04:36

time, gals. We'll hit it hard. Okay, cool. So

1:04:38

this comes from M. She says, Dear

1:04:40

Chelsea, I've been dating my boyfriend for about

1:04:43

a year. He's extremely attentive to my

1:04:45

emotions, patient, passionate about his interests, driven and

1:04:47

successful. Problem is, he's a slob. Not

1:04:49

only are the surfaces in his house always

1:04:51

sticky, full of crumbs and cluttered, but

1:04:53

he often forgets to shower after the gym

1:04:55

and never puts the toilet seat down

1:04:57

after peeing. In the beginning of our relationship,

1:04:59

I didn't say anything. But after the

1:05:01

first three months, I spoke up about how

1:05:03

I'd appreciate him cleaning up after himself

1:05:05

some more when he's my house, but it's

1:05:08

fallen on deaf ears. I have to

1:05:10

keep reminding him. It's frustrating to sometimes feel

1:05:12

like I'm being a mom to him,

1:05:14

but I can't not speak up when he's

1:05:16

leaving the toilet seat up and leaving

1:05:18

crumbs and messes everywhere he goes. At least

1:05:20

once a week, I wince when he

1:05:22

tries to kiss me because of his stench.

1:05:24

It's very unattractive. I love him

1:05:26

a lot. He's emotionally mature in ways

1:05:28

I've never seen in a man, but will

1:05:30

his messiness and general lack of awareness

1:05:32

about things that aren't emotional in nature break

1:05:35

us up? It's never going to work.

1:05:37

Should it? This man is frustrated. It's over.

1:05:39

He's untrained. Find

1:05:43

a man who's pre -trained. I'm not potty

1:05:45

training him. so gross. I once dated

1:05:47

a guy who had a funky smell that

1:05:49

came from his gut, I'm assuming. And

1:05:52

he didn't smell at... in

1:05:54

the daytime or at night, but

1:05:56

in the mornings, I was

1:05:58

like, I can't deal with the

1:06:00

smell. Like, it was strong.

1:06:02

It was like this, his bio

1:06:04

gnome moan. His pheromone. Whatever.

1:06:06

Whatever it was, it doesn't go

1:06:08

away. Smells don't go away.

1:06:10

When someone doesn't, he's like a,

1:06:13

it's like a feral cat,

1:06:15

this guy. Also,

1:06:17

I feel like not that I'm

1:06:19

married or like wouldn't know what it's

1:06:21

like living with someone or whatever,

1:06:24

but. I feel like it is those

1:06:26

like little day -to -day things that

1:06:28

like keep you together. So like, yeah,

1:06:30

he can be emotionally intelligent, but

1:06:32

like he stinks. Yeah, I don't

1:06:34

care if he's ambitious. He's a literal

1:06:36

skunk that's running wild in your apartment. Yeah,

1:06:38

unless you're planning on removing your nose,

1:06:40

like you have to move on and find

1:06:42

a different partner. I also have a

1:06:44

theory that you will fall in love with

1:06:46

your partner's natural scent. And

1:06:48

like you two have like a similar

1:06:51

smell. I don't know. I made that

1:06:53

up, but I feel like it's a

1:06:55

thing. No, I think when it is,

1:06:57

when there is good chemistry, then the

1:06:59

smell is good. Yeah. What you smell

1:07:01

smells good to you when there is

1:07:03

natural. But clearly that's not working

1:07:05

because he's, yeah. Like you get

1:07:07

less UTIs and stuff with the right guy. Oh

1:07:10

God, how gross. a raging UTI

1:07:12

right now. Yeah. That's

1:07:14

kind of a thing where like sometimes you're

1:07:17

like smells don't work together and like, you

1:07:19

know, or whatever. I will also say some

1:07:21

of this smacks a little bit of undiagnosed

1:07:23

ADHD. So like get him tested and get

1:07:25

him on something and see if that changes.

1:07:27

That might be your last ditch effort. Oh,

1:07:29

yeah. Medicate him. Yeah. Medicate him. And then

1:07:31

maybe he'll start wiping his ass. I mean,

1:07:33

maybe. Who knows? And also, like, he doesn't

1:07:35

get to kiss you if he hasn't showered.

1:07:37

If he's stinky and he wants to kiss

1:07:40

you, you're like, this is all just so

1:07:42

ick. I mean, he could hire a cleaning

1:07:44

lady, but the not showering thing, that's like,

1:07:46

I don't know if you're changing that in

1:07:48

a person. Whenever we do advice, I always

1:07:50

envision it's the same people. So, like, this

1:07:52

is the guy who started dating a new

1:07:54

girl, and this new girl is calling in

1:07:56

about how he smells. That's

1:07:59

a great idea for a podcast, actually,

1:08:01

Hannah. Okay, well, that

1:08:03

was an upsetting way to end this

1:08:05

episode. That

1:08:07

was not what we wanted to go

1:08:09

out with, but that's okay. I think

1:08:11

it's apropos for our guests today. Paige,

1:08:13

I don't mean to be so cutting

1:08:15

towards you. This is only directed towards

1:08:17

Hannah, okay? I don't know you well

1:08:19

enough to treat you this way. So

1:08:22

I just want you to know that

1:08:24

that is all Hannah. No,

1:08:26

it is such a privilege to get... harassed

1:08:28

by Chelsea Handler. That's all I want to

1:08:30

do all day long. Put your arms up

1:08:32

for a sec, will you please? Both

1:08:34

arms. Both

1:08:36

arms. There

1:08:40

we go. Okay,

1:08:42

and we're wrapped for today. Have a

1:08:44

great day, girls. Everybody, you can go

1:08:46

get How to Giggle at your local

1:08:48

bookstore, local bookseller. Go buy your books

1:08:50

in bookstores, people. Drumroll,

1:08:55

Catherine, please. Chelsea

1:08:58

Handler Abroad Abroad is my

1:09:00

European tour. So I'm coming

1:09:02

to obviously find a husband

1:09:04

abroad. I need to get

1:09:06

the hell out of this

1:09:09

fucking country. And it's not

1:09:11

as easy as you think.

1:09:13

So I'm coming to Reykjavik.

1:09:15

I'm coming to Dublin. I'm

1:09:17

coming to the UK. I'm

1:09:19

coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.

1:09:21

In May and June, I'm

1:09:24

coming to Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen,

1:09:26

Manchester, London, Glasgow, New

1:09:28

Zurich, Vienna. I've never,

1:09:30

ever been to Vienna.

1:09:32

Berlin, Barcelona, and Lisbon.

1:09:35

I'm coming. Abroad is

1:09:37

abroad. That sounds like fun. I'm going

1:09:39

to go see you abroad. I know.

1:09:41

I want to go see me abroad.

1:09:43

And there I'll be. There I'll be.

1:09:45

Excellent. Do you

1:09:48

want advice from Chelsea? Write into

1:09:50

Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail.com. Find

1:09:52

full video episodes of Dear Chelsea

1:09:54

on YouTube by searching at Dear

1:09:56

Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited

1:09:58

and engineered by Brad Executive

1:10:00

producer, Catherine Law. And be sure

1:10:02

to check out our merch at

1:10:05

ChelseaHandler.com. This

1:10:07

is Radhi Dablukia from A Really Good Cry.

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