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or in store. I'd like to be in

1:12

a hot tub with you guys. That sounds

1:14

like a good time. It's a good time.

1:17

We hang. Hey

1:30

everybody, welcome to Literally.

1:32

Fortune Feemster is here. By the

1:34

way, it's the greatest name and

1:37

currently working in show business

1:39

today. Fortune, Feemster, Super

1:41

Funny, her new Netflix special

1:43

is out now. She's promoting

1:46

our new tour, taking care

1:48

of biscuits, and the specialist

1:50

called Crushing That's on Netflix.

1:52

Super, Super, Super Funny, Gal,

1:54

let's get her going. Fortune,

2:00

how are you? I'm good, Rob.

2:02

How are you? Are we twinning

2:04

right now? I was about to

2:06

say we've got our like, your

2:09

fucking jackets on. You're twinning, man.

2:11

This is great. Look at us!

2:13

I mean, twins, and we're both

2:15

gorgeous. I mean, you know, we're

2:17

doing our thing. We both got

2:19

good hair. We do. You have,

2:21

I mean, your hairs. I'm going,

2:23

here, I'll pick up the head

2:25

ones, I'm going, like, like, I'm

2:28

going back to the, like, I'm

2:30

going back to the, like, back

2:32

to the, back to the, back

2:34

to the, back to the, back

2:36

to the, back to the future.

2:38

I'm going, I haven't had my

2:40

hair this long since like 2005

2:42

and then previous to that the

2:45

80s. So my wife likes it.

2:47

There's got to be a lot

2:49

of men, very jealous of that

2:51

head of hair. That's a good

2:53

head of hair. You know, listen,

2:55

you cut me and I bleed

2:57

propicia. I have it on an

2:59

IV like next to my, like,

3:01

like Michael Jackson had his his

3:04

nighttime milk that he had to

3:06

go to bed with. Yeah. Mine

3:08

is propicia. I started at 30.

3:10

I was like, I did a

3:12

photo shoot and I was like,

3:14

I did a photo shoot and

3:16

I was like, wait, wait, wait,

3:18

wait, wait, wait, what was that?

3:20

What's that that going on possibly?

3:23

Wasn't even like a real thing,

3:25

but just the notion that it

3:27

might happen. It works. I'm a

3:29

hedgehog. Yeah. It's amazing, good for

3:31

you. Yeah, me, what the hell.

3:33

And you'd think that, like, you

3:35

know, big pharma would call and

3:37

go, you know, you know, talks

3:40

a lot openly about propetia. Roblo.

3:42

Yeah. But no. And you should

3:44

be doing commercials. I mean, come

3:46

on, man's got a hustle. That's

3:48

right. I mean, I'd be down.

3:50

I'd be down a clown. Where

3:52

are you? Are you in North

3:54

Carolina. I'm from North Carolina, but

3:56

I live in LA, so I'm

3:59

in Los Angeles. I've been here

4:01

about 21 years, but the accent

4:03

is still very strong. North Carolina

4:05

accent is having its moment right

4:07

now. I know on White Lotus,

4:09

Tim. Tim. You started it, you

4:11

were doing Tim. I was doing

4:13

Tim for a long time. I

4:16

know. I think they kind of,

4:18

you know, took my Tim, but

4:20

I do like how Parker Posey

4:22

just extends everything that is the

4:24

sign of a true Southern woman.

4:26

Isn't it? Yeah. Sunami. All right,

4:28

so the real question, Tarheel or

4:30

Blue Devil? Tarheel, baby. I know

4:32

Duke is a formidable team, obviously,

4:35

and been killing it, but yeah,

4:37

I was a Tarheel gal. I

4:39

have a picture of me as

4:41

a kid and a little cheerleading

4:43

outfit from UNC. Amazing. I look

4:45

like Shirley Temple. You'd be a

4:47

great Shirley Temple. I know, and

4:49

Shirley Temple, who, you know, grows

4:51

up and realizes she's a lesbian.

4:54

Yeah, I like that iteration of

4:56

Shirley Temple. The lifetime story. Yeah,

4:58

yeah. You know, we're Duke, my

5:00

family's big-time Duke, Duke people. My

5:02

son went there. I fake went

5:04

there on the West One. That's

5:06

right. I forgot about that. Yeah,

5:08

a fake one. Yeah. Law school,

5:11

not even undergrad. Not undergrad was

5:13

Princeton. See, the people I play

5:15

are way smarter than me. I

5:17

just play way smarter. That's how

5:19

it should be when you have

5:21

Aaron Sorkey in writing for you.

5:23

Yeah, right? Those are the academic

5:25

background. Yeah, you just kind of

5:27

say the words and get out

5:30

of the way. For sure. Alright,

5:32

I got to know about... working

5:34

with my guy Arnold on food

5:36

bar. You've got to have good

5:38

Arnold stories. Oh man, that's a

5:40

treat. I mean, first off, I

5:42

never thought a silly comedian as

5:44

much as myself. would be asked

5:47

to do any sort of action.

5:49

How did that happen? How did

5:51

that come into your life? It

5:53

was really weird. I was back

5:55

home visiting my family in North

5:57

Carolina and I got an audition

5:59

for it and you know in

6:01

a normal circumstance I would be

6:03

like yeah let's do it but

6:06

we were doing like dealing with

6:08

some family stuff and I just

6:10

couldn't. I said I just don't

6:12

have time I can't. I can't

6:14

get to this. And two days

6:16

later, they're like, oh, they've actually

6:18

sent you an offer to do

6:20

it. And I was like, oh.

6:23

So by just inadvertently saying no,

6:25

just out of, I just couldn't

6:27

do it at that time, I

6:29

got the offer. And I was

6:31

like, oh, so I'll probably be

6:33

like, you know, because it's about

6:35

the CIA. I was like, I

6:37

assume I'll be in like a

6:39

van. With a slushy like doing

6:42

the coordinates of everyone 100% that

6:44

that's my that's my That's the

6:46

lane. That's the lane. One hundred.

6:48

No, you're gonna be a CIA

6:50

agent in the field shooting guns

6:52

Running from explosion and I was

6:54

like oh Okay, and I I

6:56

said yes, you know because I

6:58

thought when am I gonna get

7:01

to do that kind of stuff

7:03

with Arnold Schwarzenegger like the action

7:05

guy yeah so we were I

7:07

remember our first big action sequence

7:09

together we were in this cabin

7:11

and he and I were on

7:13

the floor and there was explosions

7:15

going everywhere and they have debris

7:18

falling on us and we have

7:20

to like army crawl across this

7:22

cabin side by side and you

7:24

know I'm like But I don't

7:26

want to like, I don't want

7:28

to look out of shape because

7:30

he was like the presidential fitness

7:32

ambassador when I was a kid

7:34

and they yell cut and Arnold

7:37

turns to me and he goes,

7:39

now you know what I've been

7:41

doing for the last 40 years.

7:43

I was like this. This is

7:45

crazy. Right? But it's so cool.

7:47

I mean, we're gonna have our

7:49

second season coming out this summer.

7:51

And what a treat to get

7:54

to have this kind of twist

7:56

in my career. It's so great.

7:58

It's, Fubar reminds me a little

8:00

bit of, my favorite Arnold movie,

8:02

True Lies. Exactly. Yeah. They did

8:04

it like. They're pretty good about

8:06

like taking his classic movies and

8:08

giving you like little snippets of

8:10

it or jokes from it and

8:13

this one has that um daughter

8:15

instead of the wife not knowing

8:17

he's in the CIA right it

8:19

was his daughter but she also

8:21

is in the CIA so a

8:23

little fun twist there but yeah

8:25

we'll get him to say his

8:27

um sayings all the time on

8:29

the show do you yeah I'm

8:32

always like get to the chopper

8:34

let's go come on So amazing.

8:36

I mean, there's something about his,

8:38

well, have you ever had an

8:40

opportunity to be in public with

8:42

him? Because it's like being with

8:44

it, it's like trying to take

8:46

a giraffe out in public. Yeah,

8:49

probably the same with you. I

8:51

mean, yeah, it's, it's like, uh,

8:53

such a wild thing, because there,

8:55

there are only so many of

8:57

you guys that have just, or

8:59

have been so famous on such

9:01

a high level, like it's so

9:03

fragmented now. And I've, well we

9:05

would go bike riding with him

9:08

in Toronto. And you know, he

9:10

just bites through Toronto and he

9:12

has this guy with him, but

9:14

people on the street are like,

9:16

wait, what? And they're like, can't

9:18

believe that Arnold is riding by

9:20

them. It's like a giraffe. It'd

9:22

be like, oh dude, was that

9:25

a giraffe peddling down Bloor Street?

9:27

And there's no one that doesn't

9:29

recognize them. Everyone. We filmed in

9:31

Europe for a week. I mean,

9:33

it was like, his fame here

9:35

is big, but over there, he

9:37

could not walk two feet without.

9:39

100 people descending upon them and

9:41

we went to October fast with

9:44

them. Oh no, you did October

9:46

fast with them? Yeah, we went

9:48

to Munich with them. Okay, give

9:50

me the, give me the, like,

9:52

oh, this is so sick. So

9:54

what's the protocol? Like, what's the

9:56

program? We're going to be up

9:58

at 4 and then we're going

10:00

to the tent and then I'm

10:03

going to be going here. Like

10:05

what? Yeah, well he does have

10:07

a phone, so he, you know,

10:09

if you want to try to

10:11

communicate with him, you either have

10:13

to like email him or facetime

10:15

him on his iPad. Oh yeah.

10:17

And he's like, the facetime on

10:20

the iPhone, yeah. Yeah. Be in

10:22

the lobby in 30 minutes, and

10:24

you're like, oh, so you don't

10:26

really know what's. happening, but he

10:28

took us to a store, it

10:30

felt like Pretty Woman, where he's

10:32

like taking us to a store

10:34

to shop for Leader Hosen's and,

10:36

you know, they like shut the

10:39

store down for us and he's

10:41

like, that one looks really good.

10:43

You know, look at his vest.

10:45

We're trying on Leader Hosen's for

10:47

Arnold and... People are just like,

10:49

oh my God, this is so

10:51

trippy. So yeah, we went shopping

10:53

with them and then went to

10:56

lunch and just seeing everyone turning

10:58

their heads. He's like, you know,

11:00

a god in that area. at

11:02

the actual October Fest, you know,

11:04

it's crazy. It's just like thousands

11:06

of people in these tents and

11:08

we're like squished into a table

11:10

drinking the big stines of beer

11:12

with him and he gets up

11:15

on stage and conducts the band.

11:17

So we went up there with

11:19

him because we were like, when

11:21

are we gonna get on stage

11:23

at October Fest? And they have

11:25

this song that they sing that...

11:27

They've been singing for years, it's

11:29

just Arnold goes to Hollywood, Arnold

11:31

goes to Hollywood. No way! There's

11:34

a whole hit, is singing this

11:36

song with this band, and he's

11:38

conducting the crowd, like, yep, it's

11:40

like, the whole country is celebrating

11:42

that Arnold has gone to Hollywood.

11:44

He has his own folk song.

11:46

Yep. It's how famous he is.

11:48

That's, I had no idea. Oh

11:51

God, it was so fun. I

11:53

mean, I was like, we, I

11:55

remember we, before we got to

11:57

the tent, he, we wanted to

11:59

take a picture as a group

12:01

at the Glaukenspiel. And it's the,

12:03

the plaza, no one's allowed to

12:05

drive on to it because there's

12:07

like thousands of tourists taking pictures

12:10

of this place. And he's like,

12:12

we're gonna go take a picture

12:14

at the Glaukenpoo. And so his

12:16

guys are just like. bringing this

12:18

van up into where like a

12:20

thousand tourists are and and like

12:22

we're all having fun in this

12:24

kind of like sprinter van and

12:27

then all of a sudden it

12:29

gets very serious he's like all

12:31

right everyone you're gonna have to

12:33

follow me listen to what I

12:35

say single file line we're gonna

12:37

take a picture and then we

12:39

can get back in the van

12:41

and he knows that like it's

12:43

about to be chaos so we

12:46

get out of the sprinter van

12:48

and every like you know a

12:50

thousand people at one time go

12:52

Arnold! And we were like quickly

12:54

taking this picture, like, come on,

12:56

take it, take it, take it.

12:58

And then he's like, all right,

13:00

let's go. And then like, I

13:03

mean, a thousand people are trailing

13:05

us trying to get his picture

13:07

as we get back into the

13:09

Spritter Man. It's wild. Isn't it

13:11

insane? There's just, there's nothing like

13:13

hanging with Arnold. They're really... You

13:15

know, over the years we all

13:17

get to see a lot of,

13:19

a lot of stuff, a lot

13:22

of stuff. You guys ever smoked,

13:24

I imagine you don't have some

13:26

cigars, quite a few cigars together.

13:28

Oh, and jacuzzi's and ski slopes

13:30

and the state capital and the...

13:32

Yeah. I smoked cigars with Arnold

13:34

when he was listening to the

13:36

death row pardons. Oh wow. I'd

13:38

like to be in a hot

13:41

tub with you guys. That sounds

13:43

like a good time. It's a

13:45

good time. We hang. Are you

13:47

ever going to be in Santa

13:49

Barbara? Yeah. Well hang it out,

13:51

man. All right. I love it.

13:53

It's beautiful up there. You've done

13:55

it right being up in that

13:58

area. Yeah, I've been up here

14:00

30 years now. Oh, so pretty.

14:02

Early adapter. My favorite hotel is

14:04

the Sandy Seidra Ranch up up

14:06

that way. Isn't it? Isn't that

14:09

amazing? That place. I was going

14:11

to propose to my wife there. But

14:13

it was the, I had it all

14:15

planned out. Everything was ready to

14:17

go and then it was right.

14:20

And when the mudslides happened. It

14:22

got destroyed. It got absolutely

14:24

just so they built it back

14:26

better than. better than ever. Oh

14:28

I love that. Did you have

14:31

an elaborate proposal

14:33

like going on in

14:35

your head? Yeah. First I'm

14:37

gonna have the ring here

14:39

and then I'm gonna do

14:42

this, then I'm gonna say

14:44

that, and then it all

14:46

goes to hell because I

14:48

was strapped with me. Oh

14:50

yeah. is a place that inspires

14:52

positivity like no other place. So

14:54

this is an ad for San

14:57

Diego. I'm reading it. I just

14:59

need to take a break from

15:01

this and say, San Diego is so

15:03

cool. It is literally like my

15:06

favorite, one of my favorite cities

15:08

in the world, and my son

15:10

Matthew and I, whenever we get

15:12

a moment. Go to San Diego. San

15:15

Diego's good vibes and unique outdoor

15:17

lifestyle offer a wide range of

15:19

experiences to make your trip unforgettable.

15:21

Everyone can enjoy the outdoors. Yes,

15:23

that is true. Over 70, this

15:26

is the real key, 70 miles

15:28

of coastline to explore unparalleled scenery

15:30

from deserts to beaches, and there's

15:32

so much to do. for kids

15:35

and parents alike, just like my

15:37

son and I, whether it's kayaking,

15:39

a trip to the world-famous San Diego Zoo,

15:41

or a day at Balboa Park, and

15:43

what I would add, the greatest sport

15:46

fishing in the United States, whether

15:48

you're soaking up San Diego's rich

15:50

cultural experiences like the Lohoya Playhouse,

15:52

how about that? There's plenty

15:54

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15:57

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15:59

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16:52

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16:54

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16:56

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16:59

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17:01

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17:03

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17:06

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18:14

and 365 day returns quince.com/rob. And

18:16

you forget that like 20 producers

18:19

are setting that up, you know?

18:21

Yeah, exactly. I'm not known for

18:23

romance. I'm not a romantic person,

18:25

but I feel like this is

18:27

the time. If ever there's going

18:30

to be. Right? There's no, there's

18:32

no better or bigger time. And

18:34

I, but I have this expensive

18:36

ring. I never spent this much

18:38

money on anything. And I, I

18:41

hated the responsibility of it. I

18:43

just wanted her to have it.

18:45

Like I don't want, I don't

18:47

want this anymore. Where did you

18:49

keep it. I kept it in

18:51

like a lockbox in my closet

18:54

and but I was so bad

18:56

at like having it I just

18:58

was jittery the whole time and

19:00

we ended up pivoting and going

19:02

up to Big Sur and everything

19:05

that everything was just a hair

19:07

off it was really weird like

19:09

I I splurged to upgrade to

19:11

this ocean view cabin, like significantly

19:13

a huge jump in price. And

19:16

when we got there, it was

19:18

so foggy for two days, the

19:20

whole time we were there, you

19:22

could not see your hand in

19:24

front of your face. You would

19:26

have no idea. in the ocean.

19:29

Right there, yeah. So we did

19:31

not, we did not need to

19:33

be in this room. I could

19:35

have been saved like two grand

19:37

a night. And then I had

19:40

told, I'd asked the hotel, can

19:42

I, can I pay to like

19:44

have roses, you know, rose petals,

19:46

put around the room and, you

19:48

know, candles, like again, like, what

19:51

they doing the bachelor? Let's just.

19:53

do that. And I was like,

19:55

I'll take her to their restaurant

19:57

and then go to the room

19:59

and it'll be romance. And I

20:01

told the waiter what was happening.

20:04

And he was so sweet. I

20:06

talked about it in my special

20:08

good fortune, but he was so

20:10

enthusiastic that he kept going behind

20:12

my now wife and like, you

20:15

know, doing thumbs up. Oh my

20:17

God. She kept asking her if

20:19

she wanted dessert. And I'm like,

20:21

she doesn't want dessert because I

20:23

had asked for chocolate cover strawberries

20:26

strawberries strawberries, strawberries. But. She kind

20:28

of knows that something's happening and

20:30

she's like, wait, should I order

20:32

dessert? Is there like a ring

20:34

into the dessert? Oh my God.

20:36

And so the whole dinner is

20:39

kind of awkward and then we

20:41

go to the room and like

20:43

there, the rose petals that they

20:45

had were like white and dead

20:47

and they just strewn, they were

20:50

just strewn about the room and

20:52

like the most chaotic like a

20:54

person got a leaf blower and

20:56

was like, like, like. Rosemetals! They

20:58

put the chocolate cover strawberries in

21:01

front of the fireplace and the

21:03

chocolate was dripping down to the

21:05

floor. Have they not seen The

21:07

Bachelor? What's wrong with these people?

21:09

Bachelor's not big up in Big

21:12

Sur. Well, you know, they didn't

21:14

have electricity in Big Sur. Literally

21:16

no electricity until 1937. So yeah,

21:18

they're behind the times. They tried,

21:20

but it was definitely like the

21:22

most awkward proposal where I was

21:25

just like, well, we're here. I

21:27

should have just like, in hindsight,

21:29

I should have just been like,

21:31

all right, let's do it another

21:33

time, like everything's off. This is

21:36

like not, you had the fatal

21:38

mistake of not knowing what venue

21:40

you were playing in. That's true,

21:42

yeah. I mean, it's like, when

21:44

you go up there, the last

21:47

time I was up there, I

21:49

looked at the list of. like

21:51

spa treatments and fixer and I

21:53

chose a session with the shaman

21:55

and the shaman came yeah and

21:57

he you know I had to

22:00

pick a rock and he told

22:02

me what the rock was again,

22:04

then we chambled by ancestors, I

22:06

visited, I had some past lives

22:08

come up, and like they can

22:11

do that. Gotcha. But if you

22:13

think they're gonna do sort of

22:15

traditional American petal ceremonies with a

22:17

single stem bros, that's not... That

22:19

ain't their bag. That's not their

22:22

bag. It's not what their bag

22:24

is. You said yours was awkward.

22:26

Were you not great at the

22:28

proposal? I was scared of the

22:30

ring. Scared the ring it was

22:32

too much responsibility. It's a lot.

22:35

I don't I don't yeah, I

22:37

don't like that much money on

22:39

a finger I for me it

22:41

was more that my wife is

22:43

a bloodhound Mm-hmm for any trinket

22:46

surprise gift plan Gosh, yeah, she's

22:48

trying to the bottom of it.

22:50

She should have been in in

22:52

the Warren Commission We would know

22:54

who we would know who called

22:57

JFK. So it's hard to it's

22:59

hard to surprise her. Impossible. And

23:01

so I was like, where can

23:03

I hide this ring that she

23:05

won't some air quotes somehow find

23:07

it? And I came across the

23:10

idea of putting it in a

23:12

dirty sock. Oh, in my car.

23:14

Yeah. And that's where it was

23:16

for like a week. And then

23:18

I was like. Where do I

23:21

want to propose? I want it

23:23

to be somewhere memorable. And I

23:25

was like, I know, we'll go

23:27

up to Mulholland by the twinkly

23:29

lights. She was like, I just

23:32

want to go home. We had

23:34

dinner, I'm just, I've got a

23:36

pee. We went to Mulholland? Why?

23:38

And then it's just like, trust

23:40

me, we want to go to

23:42

Mulholland. It's pretty up there. It's

23:45

just like, when you try to

23:47

recreate what we've seen in movies

23:49

and movies and movies and TV.

23:51

You realize, no, those were a

23:53

group of people that came in

23:56

a room. And how about this?

23:58

Oh, I know, I got a

24:00

better one. each more incredible than

24:02

the next idea. And the best

24:04

idea wins, it goes into the

24:07

movies, it gets repeated, and normal

24:09

people can never do, we can't

24:11

do that. I know, and you've

24:13

been part of that, you've added

24:15

to that romance on film. I

24:17

should know better. I should know

24:20

better. There's no prop department. Yeah.

24:22

Like, you know, they keep the

24:24

ring and they give you the

24:26

ring at last minute after they've

24:28

spent, you know. $250,000 transforming a

24:31

room into like the most romantic

24:33

setting in the world. And the

24:35

co-star, you know, you know, Demi

24:37

Moore is not a bloodhound looking

24:39

for the ring, going, am I

24:42

getting proposed to, it's been six

24:44

months, when is it happening? She's

24:46

like, you know, you know, just

24:48

showing up. So it's a whole

24:50

different, playing romantic, is very different,

24:53

as it turns out, than being

24:55

romantic. And it is true, Rob,

24:57

just true. That's why we're gonna

24:59

just keep watching you be romantic

25:01

on you be romantic on screen.

25:03

Be romantic on screen. Okay, I

25:06

saw in, I did a little

25:08

deep diving on you and I'm

25:10

obsessed with this as a good

25:12

southern bell. Mm-hmm. You were in,

25:14

you had a, did you have

25:17

a, did you have a debut?

25:19

Did you make a debut? I

25:21

did, I came out to society

25:23

twice. That's amazing. That's amazing. for

25:25

me to be one. Okay, walk

25:28

me through what, what is okay?

25:30

You're, you, it starts at what

25:32

like, it like you're like 10

25:34

or 11, you're like, I want

25:36

to come out to society and

25:38

you have to be, you have

25:41

to be like. It starts with

25:43

something called Catilian. All right, walk

25:45

me through this. So, Catilian is

25:47

like, when you're 12. This is

25:49

a southern old, like so stupid.

25:52

Use yeah when you're like 12

25:54

they have because something else or

25:56

maybe eight ages 10 as well

25:58

I don't know, it lasts a

26:00

couple months a year on like,

26:03

every, like once a month on

26:05

a Saturday. You and your friends

26:07

like dress up in like Sunday

26:09

clothes and they teach you manners

26:11

and how to like waltz. And

26:13

they see so much waltzing going

26:16

on. I mean, you have no

26:18

idea how much waltzing happens. Isn't

26:20

it amazing like, I can't tell

26:22

you the amount of times where

26:24

I've been somewhere and the waltzing

26:27

starts. and I don't know how

26:29

to do it. It's fucking mortal.

26:31

I'm so... You missed out when

26:33

you were 12. Can you imagine

26:35

in these times, 12-year-olds waltzing and

26:38

box stepping? It's crazy. Which do

26:40

you think is more creepy? That?

26:42

Or taking 11 years and saying,

26:44

here's how you do the gritty.

26:46

Well, which should be worse? It's

26:48

so crazy. It seems so... I

26:51

mean, it was antiquated then, but

26:53

like, even now, like... So wild

26:55

and you know these boys were

26:57

having to learn how to like

26:59

open doors for ladies and pull

27:02

a chair out and the girls

27:04

are I don't know just trying

27:06

to the boys are at cotilian

27:08

as well at the same time

27:10

Yeah, it's co-ed and you they

27:13

I remember we got in a

27:15

circle And then when I was

27:17

17, I was going into my

27:19

senior year of high school, and

27:21

then like every minute, all right,

27:23

next partner, there's just, I don't

27:26

know what we're doing here. But

27:28

yeah, so it starts then, and

27:30

then nothing for a couple years.

27:32

And then when I was 17,

27:34

I was going into my senior

27:37

year of high school, my mom's

27:39

like, you've been invited. to be

27:41

a debut shop. And I'm like,

27:43

another thank you. Not for me.

27:45

And my family, I talked about

27:48

this, and my sweet and salty

27:50

special, my family back in the

27:52

day had a lot of money.

27:54

My grandfather was a very prominent

27:56

contractor and architect. He designed all

27:59

these beautiful homes and schools. and

28:01

libraries all over North Carolina. But

28:03

then he died unexpectedly at the

28:05

age of 50. And over the

28:07

course of time, my grandmother lost all

28:09

this money. So my mom grew up

28:11

with a lot of money. By the

28:14

time I came around, there was nothing.

28:16

We were broke. My dad grew up

28:18

in a trailer park. So I had

28:20

these two worlds that I was. divided

28:23

between like I knew this like fancier

28:25

world and manners and cotillian and

28:27

then I knew like NASCAR and

28:29

eating chicken wings and you know whatever

28:32

yeah so I was kind of

28:34

stuck between these two worlds but

28:36

there was no money we had no

28:38

money so to do this debutant thing

28:40

you have to pay up for all

28:42

these parties and I like we don't

28:44

have the money like why who is

28:46

this for and she's like you're doing

28:48

it because you know she wanted to

28:50

like Relive the Glory days

28:53

and you know, I'd show

28:55

up, come home and our

28:57

couch would be missing. And

29:00

she's like, you're going to

29:02

the party. I'm like, I'd

29:04

rather have a couch.

29:06

This is crazy. Unbelievable.

29:09

So yeah, when I was

29:11

18, it was, you're presented

29:14

to society as a young

29:16

woman. You have to wear

29:19

a... Basically, a white wedding

29:21

dress, which is the only time

29:23

in my life I will have

29:25

ever been in one, even

29:28

as a married woman.

29:30

And my brothers escorted

29:32

me down, you know, you're basically

29:35

like, you walk down in

29:37

front of all these people, it's

29:39

just like a big dance.

29:41

And the pictures now look

29:43

like I was getting married

29:46

to my brother. That's

29:48

amazing. They still do

29:50

it. I saw Apple

29:53

Martin. Gwenist daughter did

29:55

debut in Paris. Yeah,

29:58

Paris is a thing. Maybe

30:00

where it originated it was it's

30:02

a big um To do over

30:04

there. So it's some old tradition

30:07

that I don't know where it

30:09

stems from. I don't want to

30:11

look it up You're worried. I

30:13

don't want to do this. You're

30:16

like, I don't want to do

30:18

this. I don't want to be

30:20

a part of it. My mom

30:22

made me. And I, yeah, it

30:24

could not be further from like,

30:27

what I want to do or

30:29

spend my time. No, that is,

30:31

that's what makes me laugh about.

30:33

It's so amazing. Like you are,

30:36

like, maybe the least debutante. But

30:38

but North Carolina flower are you

30:40

are such a you're just a

30:42

magnolia you are a magnolia But

30:45

yeah it was for my mom.

30:47

She got to have thankfully as

30:49

I got older. I learned how

30:51

to say no But I didn't

30:54

have that that but now aren't

30:56

you believe the material think of

30:58

the material you I know it

31:00

has it When people saw that

31:02

picture, when I talked about it

31:05

in that special, I put pictures

31:07

up and people like, oh my

31:09

God, that's really true. It is

31:11

the kind of thing you go,

31:14

that can't be true. Does that

31:16

really happen to me? Yeah, I

31:18

guess it did. But as a

31:20

comedian, you know, all of my

31:23

stand-up is all of my life.

31:25

I tell stories about growing up

31:27

or about who I am, about

31:29

my family, my wife. So all

31:31

that stuff just adds to... these

31:34

fun specials that I get to

31:36

put out and talk about my

31:38

silly life. The new one's out.

31:40

It's out now on Netflix. When

31:43

did it come out? I mean,

31:45

you had a couple months ago.

31:47

It's called crushing it. It's my

31:49

third hour on Netflix. And every

31:52

special follows like where I'm at

31:54

in life, Sweet and Salty, was

31:56

about me growing up and realizing

31:58

who I am and coming out.

32:00

a good fortune was about meeting

32:03

my wife and sort of entering

32:05

adulthood and crushing it is being

32:07

firmly in this relationship, married, my

32:09

parents getting older and balancing the

32:12

like responsibilities between being a daughter

32:14

and being a wife and how

32:16

those can conflict sometimes and just

32:18

those everyday things you deal with

32:21

as more of an adult person.

32:23

like sort of instant recall if

32:25

you're living your life and you

32:27

go oh that this is something

32:29

this is a bit this is

32:32

gonna be great do you write

32:34

it down immediately or do you

32:36

remember it like what's your your

32:38

process for putting together the writing

32:41

like well sometimes things are so

32:43

crazy that you're like oh this

32:45

is gonna be something and like

32:47

I'm on I'm starting a whole

32:50

new tour with a whole new

32:52

hour actually in like a week

32:54

and there was like my wife

32:56

and I went to Greece and

32:58

there was something that happened that

33:01

I was like this is like

33:03

a stand-up bit and you know

33:05

right off the bat. There are

33:07

other things from childhood where like

33:10

I remember I was I'll do

33:12

like Q&A sometimes at the end

33:14

of shows in a club and

33:16

someone I was back in Charlotte

33:19

where I'm near where I'm from

33:21

and someone just yelled remember when

33:23

you were on the swim team.

33:25

When you were a kid and

33:27

I was like, oh yeah, I

33:30

sucked, like, I could not swim.

33:32

I used to run across the

33:34

pool pretending to do the butterfly.

33:36

And they laughed and I never

33:39

thought about that as a stand-up

33:41

story. And hearing them laugh at

33:43

the visual of me as a

33:45

kid running across the pool pretending

33:48

to do the butterfly, I was

33:50

like, oh, maybe there's something here.

33:52

And so it just I just

33:54

kind of recounted what happened just

33:56

the facts here's what happened and

33:59

And from there you just I

34:01

just keep building it like oh,

34:03

this is a funny You know,

34:05

like how do I build that

34:08

world out and how do I

34:10

describe it away? That's more interesting

34:12

right than the reality. And then

34:14

it became one of my most

34:17

popular stories. People will still yell,

34:19

do the swim team bit, you

34:21

know, and it just was one

34:23

of those things that was me

34:25

telling a silly memory. Where do

34:28

you stand on having, when you

34:30

have a famous bit like that?

34:32

Like when do you, do you

34:34

retire? Do you not want to

34:37

retire? Is it like going to

34:39

the Rolling Stones and then they

34:41

don't play brown sugar and you

34:43

wanted to hear it? Or like,

34:46

what's your... What's your thought on

34:48

that? Because I've talked to a

34:50

lot of comedians about their friends'

34:52

bets and there's a lot of

34:54

different thinking. I mean gosh, that's

34:57

the hardest part about me in

34:59

a stand-up is once your hour

35:01

comes out, you have to start

35:03

fully over. I would give anything

35:06

to just be able to sing

35:08

cheeseburger and paradise every show. Wouldn't

35:10

that make life much easier? I'll

35:12

give people like 50 minutes to

35:15

an hour of brand new stuff.

35:17

Because they want to be surprised.

35:19

They want to, people like that

35:21

about stand up. They want to

35:23

not see what's coming. That's part

35:26

of the fun of it is

35:28

discovering new things about you. But

35:30

at the end, like usually the

35:32

last five to ten minutes of

35:35

my set, I will sometimes throw

35:37

out to the audience. What do

35:39

you get? I'll do, you know,

35:41

I call it a classic or

35:44

whatever. What do you guys want

35:46

to hear? I can do, like,

35:48

hooders. I can do swim team.

35:50

I can do coming out to

35:52

my dad and they'll, like, kind

35:55

of yell as an audience. And

35:57

so every show is different. I'll,

35:59

I'll, I'll, you know the most.

36:01

And basically it's, I went to

36:04

hooders my entire. childhood because I

36:06

had two older brothers and my

36:08

mom spearheaded those trips. Did that

36:10

have anything to do with you

36:13

deciding your sexuality? No, but it

36:15

was definitely a fun byproduct. I

36:17

would say. Look at booms, mom.

36:19

What's going on? At the time

36:21

I was just fat. I didn't

36:24

know I was gay. So I

36:26

just enjoy chicken wings. But my

36:28

mom started dating a very conservative

36:30

religious man when I was in

36:33

college. And one night I was

36:35

like, let's go to Hooters. And

36:37

she goes, I have never eaten

36:39

at Hooters. And was dead serious.

36:42

because she didn't want her new

36:44

man friends to know she would

36:46

dare step foot in such a

36:48

scandalous restaurant. So I tell this

36:50

whole story about it and the

36:53

backstory of how much she would

36:55

go to Hooters. Amazing. So now

36:57

when I tell that story, the

36:59

entire audience yells with me, I

37:02

have never! And it's like so

37:04

crazy to be like having people

37:06

yell your, you're, you know. story

37:08

back to you. I never saw

37:11

that as a stand-up comedian being

37:13

a thing. That's so cool though.

37:15

Yeah, it's really cool. But you

37:17

know, that's the stand-up is so

37:19

popular right now. It's wild. When

37:22

I started in 2005 and it

37:24

was, you know, in a down

37:26

cycle, it kind of is cyclical

37:28

where it will be really popular

37:31

and then go completely away. or

37:33

not completely away, but just not

37:35

as prevalent. But I think as

37:37

people are going to the movies

37:40

less, they want that live experience.

37:42

They want to laugh with other

37:44

people. So shows are selling out

37:46

everywhere. Yeah, it's unbelievable, isn't it?

37:48

Do you think it's, I think

37:51

it's sustainable. I think it's the

37:53

new normal. I think so. I

37:55

mean, you know, it's people, there's

37:57

a lot, as you know, going

38:00

on in the world. There's a

38:02

lot to worry about. There's a

38:04

lot of uncertainty, especially, you know,

38:06

just policy. six alone, but you

38:09

know, coming out of a pandemic,

38:11

whoever thought in our lifetime, we'd

38:13

experience something like that. I think

38:15

it made people go, I need

38:17

to, I need to like have

38:20

some levity here. This is a

38:22

lot. So that's something I'm proud

38:24

of as a stand-up is to

38:26

provide that. I try not to

38:29

get in the weeds of like

38:31

divisiveness. There are other people that

38:33

are way more skilled to talk

38:35

about politics, to talk about the...

38:38

current state of the world. There's

38:40

no waffle house. There's no waffle

38:42

houses here. I'm not sure where

38:44

the dividing line is of geographically

38:46

of where they stop. I know.

38:49

Maybe Arizona. It's my favorite thing

38:51

in the on the world. I

38:53

feel like a waffle house would

38:55

do well in like a Riverside

38:58

or Rancho Cucavanca. Listen, I don't

39:00

put one in Santa Barbara. Yeah,

39:02

they're so good. I mean, you

39:04

know, it's, it's very, it's very,

39:07

you know, you know. minimal. You

39:09

go in there and... You know

39:11

what you're getting. You know what

39:13

you're getting. And it's not the

39:15

cleanest of places, but the food

39:18

is dealish. I wanted to do

39:20

a, I've been trying to pitch

39:22

this idea, you know, like, what

39:24

is it, what's the cop show

39:27

where they ride along with... Oh,

39:29

cops? Yeah, cops. Cops. Yes, that

39:31

one. That boys, but she don't.

39:33

I want to do Waffle House

39:36

where all you do is just

39:38

put the cameras in, let them

39:40

run for a year. You don't

39:42

even have... to have any technicians.

39:45

Just let them run for a

39:47

year. And just capture the... And

39:49

then you get a team of

39:51

editors and go through it in

39:53

the magic of a waffle house.

39:56

Yeah. We all know that, you

39:58

know, like a, after midnight on

40:00

a Friday, Saturday, great stuff goes

40:02

on, right? There's got to be

40:05

a lot of stuff that goes

40:07

down, because some of them are

40:09

20, they used to be 24

40:11

hours, they might have changed that

40:14

recently. A lot of them, I

40:16

might... I always thought that they

40:18

were, but like everything else, I'm

40:20

sure they're fucking that up now

40:22

too. Yeah, I mean, does anything

40:25

really need to be open 24

40:27

hours? Yes, not in Vegas. Not,

40:29

well, that's true. I mean, there's

40:31

nothing better you're driving across country.

40:34

From like three to, at least

40:36

close down from like three to

40:38

five. Well, that is true. This

40:40

is when we can like mop

40:43

the floors, right, guys? This is

40:45

where they should clean more than

40:47

they do. You're right. Maybe that

40:49

was the issue. They're like, how

40:51

do you expect us to clean?

40:54

Yeah. And be open 24 hours.

40:56

We cannot do both. You can

40:58

have one or the other. I

41:00

was in one and I was

41:03

with my mom and I was

41:05

just enjoying this delicious waffle and

41:07

a cockroach the size of like

41:09

a mouse. It's like going up

41:12

the wall. If I tell my

41:14

mom what is behind her right

41:16

now, she will like cause a

41:18

scene. So I'm just like slowly

41:20

eating, watching it, making sure it

41:23

doesn't go anywhere near her and

41:25

I never said a thing. That

41:27

is a problem. When in Waffle

41:29

House, you just, that's just part

41:32

of the experience. It's kind of

41:34

like being in New Orleans. Yeah.

41:36

Like when you go to New

41:38

Orleans, you're going to see rats.

41:41

Yeah. And you're going to see

41:43

cockroaches and you're going to see

41:45

vomit in the streets. And that's

41:47

what a life. That's part of

41:49

the charm though. Yeah, I think

41:52

you should. If anyone could get

41:54

that made, I think you could.

41:56

I think you need to get

41:58

back to trying to sell that.

42:01

I am. I definitely am. I

42:03

got to figure it up. But

42:05

then the thing is like, would

42:07

the waffle house sign off? Why

42:10

wouldn't? They should lean into it.

42:12

Yeah. Well, if you're like, hey

42:14

guys, it's me. Rob, don't you

42:16

want me to do this? Well,

42:18

you know, every once in a

42:21

while on this podcast when I

42:23

talk about something sort of like

42:25

this, it becomes real. Like I

42:27

had, who was I talking to?

42:30

I was talking to Bill Simmons

42:32

and I were talking about our

42:34

love of, or how hard it

42:36

is to make horror comedies. And

42:39

then we're like, we should make

42:41

a movie called Yacht Rock Killer.

42:43

And now it's about to come

42:45

to fruition. There's some movement on

42:47

Yacht Rock Killer. Come on. I

42:50

could see you with a captain's

42:52

hat on. Oh, right? And all

42:54

of a sudden... Murder. And like

42:56

the... The ghoul is like Kenny

42:59

Logins. Yeah. Please make this happen.

43:01

I don't want to be the

43:03

one to call Kenny though. So

43:05

Kenny, listen. We're doing Yachtra Killer

43:08

and you're playing the killer. Why

43:10

would he not want to get

43:12

in on this? He might. He's

43:14

my pickleball partner up here. Oh

43:16

yeah? I have a direct line.

43:19

I imagine you have a direct

43:21

line to quite a few people.

43:23

I've got some good ones. That

43:25

Santa Barbara pickleball connection is strong

43:28

alone. It is. It's strong. Katie

43:30

Perry. She's big pickleballer. Look at

43:32

that. Yeah. I mean, there's there's

43:34

a we have a very strong

43:37

pickle although I have to I

43:39

just I have to go on

43:41

the record I'm very I'm of

43:43

two minds about pickleball. Yeah, really

43:45

I really it's like the seriousness

43:48

with which certain people take it

43:50

yeah backpacks with the pickleball paddles

43:52

sticking out of them all that

43:54

thuds. I don't know. It's like

43:57

come on. I'm a tennis player.

43:59

Same. reluctantly come to pickle ball.

44:01

Yes. I like it, but I

44:03

still prefer tennis. Same. Yeah. I've

44:06

been playing tennis since I was

44:08

seven. I played in college. Oh

44:10

wow. It's hard to just like

44:12

give over to the pickleball. I'm

44:14

with you. I think we need

44:17

to keep tennis alive. Yeah, when

44:19

they when they transform tennis courts

44:21

in the pickleball courts like my

44:23

heart hurts. Which which do you

44:26

think is is more outdated now?

44:28

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46:23

lives up here? I see all

46:25

the time, by the way, so

46:27

you've tested it. Jimmy Connors. Oh,

46:29

nice. Yeah. And I'm like, he's

46:31

still get a feisty. He's like

46:34

breaking his rag, you're like, dude.

46:36

Just for fun. Jimmy Connors. He

46:38

was the O. He was the

46:40

O. He was a bad-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o Right

46:42

a lot of short shorts back

46:45

then. Oh everybody had them. Yeah,

46:47

those are the times I think

46:49

I've seen you rock some short

46:51

shorts. Oh, there's a picture online

46:53

of me at Battle of the

46:56

Network stars Yes, not only am

46:58

I in short shorts. I'm in

47:00

dolphin shorts. Oh my god. Yes

47:02

Oh, true sign. You're not even

47:04

running. You're not even, those are

47:06

for marathon runners. You're not even

47:09

running. You're just like, this is

47:11

the look. You probably had a

47:13

sweatshirt on too with it. Oh,

47:15

no, it's worse. I had no

47:17

shirt on. Given the ladies, what

47:20

they want. And I'm all of

47:22

17. And I really could use

47:24

a good meal. Yeah. It's like

47:26

I am the twinkiest of the

47:28

twinks. Oh my god. I'm like

47:31

king twink. You had everyone jeweled

47:33

over you though. That must have

47:35

been quite the power trip. And

47:37

I was so young too. I

47:39

didn't know what was going on.

47:42

I was like visiting probably like

47:44

Melissa Gilbert who was in the

47:46

dunk tank or some shit. And

47:48

you know, and you just know

47:50

some photography. Why don't you sit

47:53

Indian style, the way they used

47:55

to call it. Yeah, just a

47:57

little more, okay, you're just a

47:59

little wider. Yeah, just like that.

48:01

Whoa, they would do that. And

48:04

I'm like, the okay. Yeah. Dumbass.

48:06

And then there's like now the

48:08

twink shot lives and perpetuity. Yeah.

48:10

But you know, when you got

48:12

it, Flawnet. If I had looked

48:14

like you, even now, I would

48:17

be naked. I would just be

48:19

walking through the world naked all

48:21

the time. Like, yeah, this is

48:23

what I'm working with, enjoy it.

48:25

This is what I'm working with.

48:28

That's a good title. This is

48:30

what I'm working with. This is

48:32

what I'm working with. I like

48:34

that. You were part of my

48:36

comedy, like, obsession, Tommy Boy, was

48:39

one of my early days of

48:41

like, realizing how much I love

48:43

comedy and watching a movie on

48:45

repeat. It's a good one, right?

48:47

Oh, man. So good. And we

48:50

had no idea. None that we

48:52

were making anything special. Really? Like

48:54

I was compared to like Waynes

48:56

World or Austin Power. Well, the

48:58

Austin Powers movie, you knew those

49:01

were going to be special. Tommy

49:03

Boy, it was like a comedy

49:05

programmer, like Paramount in those days,

49:07

made one or two a year.

49:09

They just churned them out. under

49:12

30 million dollar budget and Lauren

49:14

had a deal where he would

49:16

just plug in whoever he thought

49:18

was hot off S&L. And they

49:20

just like a factory, you know,

49:22

and Molly Shannon would do Superstar

49:25

and then there'd be the Stuart

49:27

Smolly movie. There's a lot of

49:29

them lost to the mists of

49:31

time. Right. But Tommy Boy, like,

49:33

broke out. Yeah. So, I mean,

49:36

it was, you know, as a

49:38

kid from Smalltown North Carolina. I

49:40

didn't have access to like, I

49:42

didn't know what stand-up was. I

49:44

didn't, my brother, unless my brother's

49:47

listened to something, I didn't know

49:49

what it was, but... movies and

49:51

S&L, that world was something I

49:53

had access to. So those were

49:55

very informative years watching things like

49:58

that, going, I really like, I

50:00

like how silly this is and

50:02

how ridiculous everyone is, but everyone's

50:04

like committed to the ridiculousness of

50:06

it. I love that. Like we

50:09

know this is insane and. broad

50:11

and crazy, but we're so committed

50:13

to these characters. I love that

50:15

too. I love that kind of,

50:17

that kind of comedy actually is

50:20

now, it's, I think it's why

50:22

stand-up is so big is it's

50:24

thriving there and it's not really

50:26

thriving in TV and movies. Comedy

50:28

is now, like if you go

50:30

on Netflix or Hulu or any

50:33

other places and look for comedy,

50:35

for the most part, they're kind

50:37

of dromedies. Mm-hmm. Or action. Yes,

50:39

action to it as well. It's

50:41

got to be big. Yeah, but

50:44

it's not absurdist. It's not like,

50:46

yeah, there's no 30 rock. Like

50:48

all those things were so fun.

50:50

Always sunny, still does it. But

50:52

they started doing it. I think

50:55

they're in their 17th season. That's

50:57

crazy. 17 seasons or something crazy.

50:59

Yeah, I think that I'm hoping

51:01

obviously the comedian and someone who

51:03

also acts. I really hope the

51:06

pendulum swings back into. Some of

51:08

that absurdist stuff because it's my

51:10

favorite like I got to have

51:12

a tiny part in the movie

51:14

Barb and Star Go to Vista

51:17

Del Mar which came out during

51:19

the pandemic, but it was supposed

51:21

to have a big theatrical release

51:23

and And I just think that

51:25

would have been such a treat

51:28

to watch in a theater. Yes

51:30

with other people because those are

51:32

the movies you want like I

51:34

start laughing, it makes you laugh,

51:36

it starts making you laugh, it's

51:38

just a chain reaction. And you

51:41

want to have this shared moment,

51:43

like, can you believe she just

51:45

said that? I want to see

51:47

more of that stuff, but it's

51:49

hard to. Enjoy those in the

51:52

same way like at home by

51:54

yourself. I still, you know what

51:56

I do knows, I keep clips

51:58

on my phone of things that

52:00

make me laugh and they'll usually

52:03

come over my algorithm like on

52:05

Tiktok or something and notice that

52:07

I love stupid shit and like

52:09

I'll be watching Borat, you know,

52:11

just laugh. My wife? My wife.

52:14

Are you big Tiktak guy? I'm

52:16

embarrassed to say I am. I

52:18

mean it's kind of the new

52:20

entertainment now. I get more consistent

52:22

laughs in half an hour on

52:25

TikTok. Yeah. That I'm going to

52:27

get anywhere else. I just am.

52:29

Yeah. I'll sit down to watch

52:31

TV. Like, all right, I'm going

52:33

to settle in. And I'll, you

52:36

know, because we're all like riddled

52:38

with 80D now. And no attention

52:40

spans. I will grab my phone

52:42

and like a look at a

52:44

clip on Tik Tak and then

52:46

selling an hour's past. And I

52:49

was like, oh, well. I guess

52:51

that was my TV time. It's

52:53

really a barrier for me to

52:55

watch the things I know I

52:57

should watch and that everybody is

53:00

like, dude, have you seen adolescence?

53:02

Right. And I'm like, no, but

53:04

I did see this amazing duck

53:06

on TikTok. Yeah. Or you'll see

53:08

people talking about adolescence. You don't

53:11

even watch it yourself. You just

53:13

see the commentary on it on

53:15

TikTok. And you'll see a clip

53:17

and you'll feel like, I feel

53:19

like. My entire I watched every

53:22

the crown I saw everything having

53:24

to do the crown, but then

53:26

I realized no no you just

53:28

saw all the highlights and tick-tock.

53:30

Yeah I saw all the different

53:33

queens I saw all the different

53:35

you know Winston Churchill's I saw

53:37

all of it I saw all

53:39

of it bucking and palaces this

53:41

that I saw it I don't

53:44

even see anything else I'm good

53:46

I know maybe that's where it's

53:48

all come to we're just gonna

53:50

we we're gonna exist solely in

53:52

In clips in clips I think

53:54

so Are you gonna keep, do

53:57

you think you're gonna keep doing

53:59

comedy or is that? I love

54:01

it. I love, see I. I

54:03

went to your, um, the roast

54:05

they did of you. Oh, did

54:08

you go? I was there in

54:10

the audience. That was so fun.

54:12

I love that you don't take

54:14

yourself seriously. Oh, thanks. You know,

54:16

like you have fun. And, uh...

54:19

I love the roast. The roast

54:21

is one of my favorite things

54:23

I've ever, like, the favorite things

54:25

I've ever done? I didn't really

54:27

do. Yeah, that was Nikki's first

54:30

big coming out. Like she was

54:32

like really under the radar and

54:34

she, like it wasn't a foregone

54:36

conclusion that she would be on

54:38

the panel. Yeah. And she, as

54:41

she always does, murdered. Murdered, yeah.

54:43

But everybody did. There wasn't like

54:45

jewel killed. That's right. Yeah. Like

54:47

like when Jeff Ross is the

54:49

least funny of the panel. You

54:52

know you have a great panel.

54:54

Strong dais. Yeah, it's and now

54:56

these roasts are like so pop.

54:58

They're so popular. You were leading

55:00

the charge on that. I think

55:02

it people kind of consider it

55:05

still the best, the best. I

55:07

think it at pound for pound,

55:09

just because everybody murdered every single

55:11

person. And I love sitting there

55:13

getting just eviscerated, like literally, I

55:16

mean, there is a thick skin.

55:18

There are a couple jokes in

55:20

there that are so brutal. Yeah.

55:22

I mean, why does it make

55:24

me, is something wrong with me

55:27

that that stuff makes me laugh?

55:29

I mean, maybe because you've been

55:31

doing this for so long that,

55:33

I mean, you started, well, how

55:35

old were you when you started?

55:38

15. Yeah, I mean, I started

55:40

acting when I was eight, but

55:42

I, but you had to have

55:44

a thick skin. I don't know

55:46

if any, I don't know if

55:49

other people could put up with

55:51

that, I, I, Never want to

55:53

be asked to even be on

55:55

the the joke teller of it

55:57

because I can't it's not for

56:00

me Because then you get hammered

56:02

too. That's what people get eviscerated

56:04

and you're just like, that, that,

56:06

okay, I'm fine, I'm fine. Yeah,

56:08

it's better, it's almost better to

56:10

be the person they're roasting, because

56:13

you know it's coming, than to

56:15

be on the panel, and then

56:17

all of a sudden, someone's taking

56:19

a shot at you. Yeah, and

56:21

you're like, oh, I didn't see

56:24

that, I didn't expect that one

56:26

to come, yeah. On my roast,

56:28

famously Anne Coulter, Anne, had no

56:30

idea. Oh for sure, you could

56:32

see in her face, she was

56:35

like, get me out of here.

56:37

She had no idea that it

56:39

was, that she was going to,

56:41

anybody there was, was fair game.

56:43

Mm-hmm. And I mean, and it

56:46

became the roasted and culture, I

56:48

was just sitting there, like I,

56:50

I got off easy. You got

56:52

to breathe for a minute. Oh,

56:54

I was breathing. I was like,

56:57

but I did not want to

56:59

turn around and look at her.

57:01

I did not, I remember seeing,

57:03

I remember seeing her. We haven't

57:05

heard as much from her since.

57:08

That might have been the... The

57:10

beginning of her being like, what,

57:12

I'm getting out of here. It

57:14

was, it was a, that was,

57:16

yeah, that was, that, that's, it's

57:18

an ever, if a roast can

57:21

be an evergreen. Yeah. I, I,

57:23

maybe in another 10 years, I'll

57:25

get roasted again. There you go.

57:27

Right. There's new stuff to illustrate

57:29

you on. Yeah, there'll be, I

57:32

keep doing stupid shit. There'll be

57:34

plenty of stuff to roast me

57:36

about. That's right. I make you

57:38

this vow today. I'm not done

57:40

doing stupid shit. There we go,

57:43

Rob. Well, well, thank you for,

57:45

this is so fun. I, I,

57:47

I, well, so nice talking with

57:49

you. I've never gotten to, to

57:51

talk with you before and what

57:54

a treat. I'm such a fan,

57:56

so. And vice versa. Thank you

57:58

for having me and wanting to

58:00

chat. I'm, I'm, your, your specials

58:02

out now and food bar, when

58:05

is food bar coming out next

58:07

year? Some of the summer. Summer,

58:09

great. Yeah, I don't know the

58:11

exact date, but, um, but yeah,

58:13

it'll be. It'll be soon here

58:16

before we know it. So hopefully

58:18

people watch. I have to have

58:20

the big fella back on for

58:22

that. Yeah, you should listen to

58:24

my, the podcast I did with

58:26

Arnold. It was one of the

58:29

first ones I did in person.

58:31

Yeah. And he made me go

58:33

to the house and he's in

58:35

the recliner. And the, the recliner?

58:37

Yeah. You know, the next one

58:40

needs to be in the hot

58:42

tub. Oh, for sure! Get the

58:44

stovey and not dumb and ends.

58:46

Get those dolphin shorts back out.

58:48

Dude, the dolphin shorts. Right now,

58:51

people are googling. I am apologizing

58:53

in advance. All right, well, thank

58:55

you so much. Thank you, the

58:57

waffle house. Yeah, let's get that

58:59

waffle, bud. All right, what is

59:02

it shaking? What is it turned

59:04

and burned? Then. Diria. And then

59:06

lots of peptidism all right. God

59:08

bless you to talk to you.

59:10

You too. All right. Thank you

59:13

for being with us. Fortune and

59:15

I are off to Waffle House.

59:17

I'm off to take more propetia.

59:19

And I will see you guys

59:21

next week. really good guests coming

59:24

up so don't forget to download

59:26

don't forget to share with your

59:28

friends and let's build the literally

59:30

army to the most powerful army

59:32

in the world together. See you

59:34

next time. You've been listening to

59:37

Literally with Rob Lo produced by

59:39

me Sean Doherty with help from

59:41

associate producer Sarah Bogar and research

59:43

by Elissa Grau. Engineering and Mixing

59:45

by Joanna Samuel. Our executive producers

59:48

are Rob Low for Low Profile,

59:50

Nick Leo Adam Sachs, and Jeff

59:52

Ross for Team Coco, and Colin

59:54

Anderson for Stitcher, booking by Deirdre

59:56

Dodd, music by Devin Bryant, special

59:59

thanks to Hidden City Studios. Thanks

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