0:08

I'm Claire Fallon, and I'm Emma

0:10

Gray. And this is love to

0:13

see it. I'm not sorry. I'm

0:15

Claire Fallon, and I'm Emma Gray.

0:17

And this is Love to See

0:20

It, an obsessively detailed podcast

0:22

about the romance we see

0:24

on screen. From reality dating

0:26

shows like The Bachelor, to

0:29

classic romcoms and other pop

0:31

culture that makes us laugh,

0:33

cry. and curse the patriarchy.

0:36

We can't live with these

0:38

stories and we can't live

0:40

without them, but we can

0:43

break down every juicy detail

0:45

and unpack all the weird

0:47

messages on-screen romance sends us

0:49

about love, sex, and dating.

1:03

Okay, let's Okay, let's

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Happy wedding! Our

4:01

cultural institution that provides

4:03

that sense of continuity

4:05

and stability now that's being

4:08

ripped away Like what do you

4:10

mean? There's not going to be

4:12

a bachelorette this year. I know

4:14

this has not happened since

4:16

2007 It's kind of crazy. I

4:18

personally don't think it's like super

4:21

cause for alarm Given that

4:23

they always say they're like

4:25

don't be alarmed The system

4:27

will reassert itself. It's what

4:29

the fascists usually say. It's

4:31

fine. No need to protest.

4:33

But really because we of

4:35

course paused on BIP for

4:37

a year and like it's back baby.

4:40

So I do just wonder if because

4:42

they now have like the Golden

4:44

franchise to work into the mix,

4:46

they want to give a little

4:49

bit more time. Yeah. And to

4:51

be clear exactly what was said

4:53

about the pause according to deadline.

4:55

quote, the series, however, has

4:57

not been canceled and will likely

5:00

come back to the Disney-owned network

5:02

in the future. It's unlikely to

5:05

err this year, but insiders have

5:07

not completely ruled out its return later

5:09

in the year. So is this, yeah, like

5:11

you were saying, we were discussing

5:14

before taping when the news first

5:16

came out, like, is it just too

5:18

unwieldy for them to have... four shows

5:20

a year? You know, Bachelor,

5:22

Bachelorette, Paradise, Golden, are they

5:24

ending up maxing out at three a

5:26

year? And this year, Bachelorette

5:29

is the casualty? Maybe. Or are

5:31

they trying to rejigger something about

5:33

that particular part of the franchise?

5:35

Maybe they're doing that with Paradise.

5:38

We'll see if there are any

5:40

major changes when it comes back.

5:42

I hope so. Maybe they're just

5:44

like, oh, Paradise is a good summer summer

5:47

show and we keep airing it in the

5:49

fall. to fit Bachelorette in the summer, we

5:51

should do Paradise first and then Bachelorette later

5:53

in the year. It doesn't sound like that's

5:55

definitely the plan, but they did leave that

5:57

door open for it to come back as

5:59

like a... September premiere show. Yeah, yeah.

6:01

And now they like have been

6:03

running shows right up until the

6:05

holidays. So I could see it

6:08

being an end of the year

6:10

thing. I could see it just

6:12

coming back next spring. I support

6:14

them having a little bit more

6:16

like nimbleness and ability to take

6:18

a pause and actually make the

6:20

shows better. Obviously we don't know

6:23

if that's what they're going to

6:25

be doing. We will see what

6:27

happened with Paradise. But in my

6:29

most like rosy outlook, that's how

6:31

I feel. Like take the time

6:33

and make it better. My most

6:36

rosy outlook is that they have

6:38

already begun casting for the next

6:40

Bachelorette and they decided that they

6:42

just need to give themselves six

6:44

to 12 months to deeply vet

6:46

each man who's going on the

6:48

show. You know, interview every woman

6:51

who's ever spoken to them. I

6:53

hire a new team to just

6:55

comb through like in every state

6:57

to comb through all of like

6:59

the local courthouse filings. My most

7:01

bleak outlook on this is that

7:04

it's sort of a bell weather

7:06

in the way that the NFL

7:08

scrubbing and racism from its end

7:10

zone before the Super Bowl was,

7:12

which is like we're reading what's

7:14

going on. We're putting our finger

7:16

up to the cultural like wins

7:19

and they're changing. So we're going

7:21

to go ahead and bet against

7:23

putting out a show where a

7:25

woman has agency. That doesn't seem

7:27

like that's where the nation is

7:29

headed. I mean, yeah, it really

7:32

could be that too. I am

7:34

hoping not because like we need

7:36

this. And we need this, you

7:38

guys. Don't take it away from

7:40

us. I am excited at the

7:42

thought of Paradise actually airing in

7:44

the summer. Like it is a

7:47

summer show. Come

7:49

on guys. I also feel

7:51

like maybe they're trying

7:53

to get in the mix

7:55

with Love Island. Yeah.

7:57

I wonder, yeah. No, and

7:59

I feel like it's

8:01

been getting too. crowded like they have

8:03

ended up overlapping shows. No one wants two bachelor

8:05

shows airing at the same time. One is plenty.

8:07

But I would love to see them kind

8:10

of evenly spread four shows across

8:12

the year, get a good cycle

8:14

going so that we always have

8:16

bachelor. Exactly. Okay, they need to

8:18

figure it out. I also understand

8:20

it's largely like the same crews

8:22

that work on these shows. And

8:24

so the filming schedule. They never

8:27

get to have vacation. So I

8:29

guess we will, you know, we

8:31

will see, we will be tracking

8:33

this and I just, I just

8:35

really hope that we get an

8:37

excellent season of Paradise. And

8:39

also I assume that means

8:41

we will be seeing like all

8:43

of these women on Paradise. Yeah,

8:46

even the Crem de la

8:48

Crem, no one's gonna be

8:50

held back for Bachelorette. So

8:53

let's talk about Grant's journey.

8:55

Like we need to. Keep focused

8:57

on the present here. We're

8:59

living in the moment. Living

9:02

in the moment. So this

9:04

is the third episode of

9:06

grant season and I feel like

9:08

they're kind of losing control

9:11

of the show like format

9:13

wise. It's getting unwieldy. But

9:15

like why is that? Why do

9:17

we think that is? Because it's

9:20

not like the format has

9:22

really... changed? This episode just

9:24

felt like shapeless, it felt

9:26

haphazard, the pacing was weird.

9:28

There was a thrown together

9:30

mini group date to replace

9:32

a one-on-one, and then there was

9:34

like a big prom event for

9:37

the whole gang instead of a

9:39

cocktail party, which felt much more

9:41

like a separate event than part

9:43

of the usual like cocktail party

9:46

and then rose ceremony. you know,

9:48

format, it felt like a

9:50

departure from that that took

9:52

up more of the show. And so

9:55

it just ended up feeling like

9:57

I didn't know where it was

9:59

going. you like there wasn't one

10:01

clear arc in this episode and I

10:03

think that something that The Bachelor traditionally

10:06

has done really well is build a

10:08

clear narrative and get us like engaged

10:10

and attached to the characters and this

10:13

episode does feel just or in this

10:15

whole season honestly feels a little bit

10:17

all over the place where I'm like

10:20

what is happening? Who am I supposed

10:22

to be latching on to? Like, there's

10:24

like too much drama happening. Also, there

10:27

are little pockets of drama everywhere. But

10:29

then they don't follow through. It's like,

10:31

Zoe has like a whole breakdown and

10:33

they, all the women are crying about

10:36

right? Something Zoe said. And then it's

10:38

just like, okay, moving on to the

10:40

other breakdown. Ali Joe went so hard

10:43

at Zoe last week. And then there

10:45

was no hint of their conflict this

10:47

week, really. They kept Ali Joe around

10:50

and didn't get her to continue stoking

10:52

that fire whatsoever. So the plot lines

10:54

aren't coming through. I don't know. It

10:57

just was a little all over the

10:59

place and the drama is like really

11:01

intense, but yeah, as you said, where

11:03

do you diffuse? Yeah. And then we

11:06

had someone go home completely off camera.

11:08

It was barely acknowledged. It was just

11:10

sort of baggy. I don't know. I

11:13

was like, I don't know what happened.

11:15

What is happening? What is happening? But

11:17

there were also some good moments of

11:20

comedy. So we got to get into

11:22

it all. We got a cold open

11:24

this week, which I appreciated that they

11:27

had something like notable to put in

11:29

there. It was well deployed. I was

11:31

happy to see that we were going

11:33

to get this bit of drama we've

11:36

been teased this episode. I was like,

11:38

great, we're going to learn what Carolino's

11:40

going fun. Yeah, exactly. And I support,

11:43

I think that they're learning. They need

11:45

to use a cold open when it

11:47

warrants a cold open and not do

11:50

it when it doesn't. So after the

11:52

cold open, we get back to the

11:54

mansion in the morning as the week

11:57

begins. We get some of that classic

11:59

house comedy. Thanks to Parisa,

12:01

who tells us about her dream

12:03

that a guy was trying to rip

12:05

her teeth out just like really

12:07

a really classic. What does teeth falling

12:10

out mean in a dream? I

12:12

don't know. Google it. It's

12:14

a symbol of feelings of insecurity about

12:16

our physical appearance, our ability to face

12:18

challenges in everyday life. So the idea

12:20

of like a man, sorry, that is

12:23

literally just the first Google result for

12:25

that, but I'm sure it's true. I

12:27

mean, that really is quite accurate for

12:29

the Bachelor mansion. It literally is

12:31

a man, the Bachelor, ripping

12:33

out your sense of confidence in

12:35

your ability to face challenges and

12:37

your physical appearance. Oh,

12:40

God, I love Parisa though. Parisa

12:42

bowed down. She is my absolute favorite.

12:44

I need her on Paradise. She

12:46

is like bringing all the comedy. So

12:48

after Parisa shares her dream, Natalie

12:50

shares a dream of her own. Here's

12:52

a clip. I had a dream

12:54

that a baby penguin like imprinted on

12:56

me. I know. And I had

12:58

to like take care of it and

13:00

people were trying to like get

13:02

rid of it because I wasn't allowed to have

13:04

a penguin. But it was like always jumping in my

13:06

arms and I had to like care for it.

13:08

I love those types of dreams. I'm like maybe I'm

13:10

feeling nurtured. How specific a penguin though? Yeah, a

13:12

baby penguin. And it was like dying in the ocean

13:14

and I like rescued it and that's why it

13:17

imprinted on me. What

13:19

does imprinted mean? Like on

13:21

your soul? Yeah, like it like

13:23

attaches emotionally. Yeah. How do

13:25

I get grand to imprint on

13:28

me? Same. We

13:30

have a generation of women

13:32

who only know about what

13:34

imprinting means from the Twilight

13:36

series. That is, I admit

13:38

that was my entire frame

13:41

of reference for imprinting like,

13:43

I took AP Bio so

13:45

I actually do know what

13:47

imprinting means. I don't

13:49

do that anymore. I'm not even

13:51

a Twilight fan but like

13:53

that is like how into our

13:55

culture. The Renezme lore. I've

13:58

never read it but I still know

14:00

in detail. Exactly. Jacob and Prince on

14:02

Renezne. Also I want to note that

14:04

I have also had a dream like

14:06

this about a penguin where I was

14:08

suddenly in charge of a penguin. It

14:10

ended in a dark way because I

14:12

forgot to take care of it. No. But

14:15

apparently, Natalie and I have

14:17

this in common. Penguins represent

14:19

our nurturing side. Yeah, dreaming

14:21

of a baby penguin often

14:23

symbolizes a new beginning, vulnerability,

14:26

innocence, or a need for protection in

14:28

a new phase of life. And Natalie

14:30

does need a lot of emotional protection,

14:32

frankly. She does in this setting, because

14:34

it is, it's rough. And so do

14:36

I. So that's why we dream about

14:39

baby penguins. You know what? That really

14:41

tracks. Jesse comes by the house to

14:43

commend them all on their vulnerability with

14:45

Grant. How did he know they were

14:48

dreaming about baby penguins? He's just like,

14:50

I can sense they need a pep

14:52

talk as they enter this new life

14:54

phase. He's like, you guys are doing

14:57

so great being vulnerable. Here's the group

14:59

day card. It starts right now. And

15:01

it's week three. We're already doing

15:03

two one-on-one and one big group

15:05

date, which is wild to me. And the

15:08

daycard goes to Natalie,

15:10

Bailey, Alex, Allie, Joe,

15:12

Chloe, Sarafina, Dana, Perisa,

15:14

Rose, Zoe, Latia, and Juliana.

15:17

Every time you're about to

15:19

say Latia, you're like, don't

15:21

say Lydia, don't say Lydia,

15:24

don't say Lydia, don't say

15:26

Lydia, don't say Lydia. I've

15:29

even been spelling it with

15:31

a why. I just think of

15:33

it as Lydia, I'm working on

15:35

ones. And they all assume the

15:37

state is going to be related

15:39

to day trading, which of course

15:41

it is. These states have been

15:43

like really literal to grants. Yeah,

15:45

they're like, you know how the

15:47

two things you know about grant

15:49

is that he loves basketball and

15:51

he loves day trading? Here you

15:53

go. It's I kind of like

15:55

it. I feel like often they

15:57

just make up these weird date

16:00

concepts. They're really introducing us

16:02

to grant through these date

16:04

ideas. This one I found so funny,

16:06

because it was just so unhinged. I

16:08

know, this was... I've never seen a

16:10

date quite like this. The closest is

16:12

when they made all the women do

16:14

like sexy farm work. Oh my God.

16:17

Obstacle course. Yeah, that was crazy. That

16:19

was, I will never ever forget that

16:21

date ever. They were like, just as

16:23

the women needed to help crystals do

16:25

farm work, you will need to help

16:27

grant do day trading. So let's see

16:29

how you do. And of course, this

16:32

is the tick-talk, you know, tick-talkification of our

16:34

culture. So there is like a whole

16:36

conversation about girl math. right on the

16:38

heels of this date. They're like, you

16:41

know, girl math. And I'm like, yes,

16:43

I know. Sarahfina's like, girl math is

16:45

like, if you buy something and

16:47

then return it, you made money.

16:50

And I'm like, yes, unfortunately, I

16:52

am familiar with that mode of

16:54

thinking. It's why I have always

16:56

overspent on my credit card budget,

16:58

budget, everything. It's unfortunately what feeds

17:01

into my compulsive shopping habit. I've

17:03

had to work on since COVID.

17:05

This date really brought out a

17:07

side of the season that is

17:09

like, I think a little bit

17:11

more pervasive and it's kind

17:14

of troubling to me, which is

17:16

like the hot bimbo who can't

17:18

do math seeks a man

17:21

in finance sort of reactionary

17:23

moment that they're leaning into.

17:25

Yeah. This is on like the

17:27

women being nurturing or like a

17:29

little bit silly or like I

17:31

just want this like hot tall.

17:34

financially successful man and

17:36

I'm just gonna be like the

17:38

best mommy. Just a girl. I'm

17:40

just a girl. It does feel

17:42

like we're getting a little bit

17:45

of like the soft girl lifestyle

17:47

vibes. Yeah. And of course this

17:49

does like this dovetails with

17:52

the conversation that's happening

17:54

on TikTok and all of

17:56

these women are a part of

17:58

that conversation. So. We're

18:01

just we're yeah,

18:03

we're seeing that I

18:05

are living in the

18:08

world tick-talk belt

18:11

Oh Lord we

18:13

really are and

18:15

on that note we're

18:18

gonna take a

18:20

quick break and

18:22

we get back. It's

18:24

time for that business boy day

18:26

You know, this couch is so

18:29

comfortable. It's not like our old

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couch that was so uncomfortable. I

18:33

love this couch. And Greg looked

18:35

at me and I looked at

18:37

him and we were like, you're

18:40

right, we love this couch. It

18:42

was such a good decision to

18:44

replace our old couch. And our

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couch, of course, is from article.

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It's the Senny three-seater couch and...

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We are just so thrilled every

18:53

day that we replaced our old

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uncomfortable couch with something that we

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all just love to flop on

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at the end of a long

19:02

day. I love that even a

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five-year-old knows articles quality. I too

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that's because article makes

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couches that we got is beautiful,

19:40

but it's also so sturdy. I

19:42

mean, I think that couch would break

19:44

me before I could break the

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couch. It's going to last forever.

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It did great with our cat

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when we had our cat. Not

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zola.com. And

23:27

we're back. So the women head

23:29

to the business district to the

23:31

sweet sounds of looking for a

23:34

man in finance. That creator really

23:36

just must have made so much

23:38

money. And it's being licensed for like

23:40

everything lately. Grant knows the song and

23:42

he's like, this is about me. So

23:45

he tries to make the connection. I

23:47

think we have a clip. If you're

23:49

looking for a man in finance. If

23:51

you're looking for a man in finance, I

23:54

am 64. I do have brown eyes. I

23:56

don't have a trust fund, but I'm looking

23:58

for somebody to build that nest egg. So

24:00

I think I'm the one you're

24:02

looking for. Are y'all ready? I

24:04

was dying at this. I was dying

24:06

at this. I was like, grant, the

24:08

way you're talking, you would think

24:11

the song is looking for a

24:13

man in finance, six four brown

24:15

eyes. That's not what it says.

24:17

It's six five blue eyes. You

24:20

meet one out of four criteria.

24:22

And that's being generous to the

24:24

concept of day traders, which. I

24:26

don't think that you're the one

24:28

that they're looking for if they're

24:30

going to invoke the idea of

24:32

a man in finance. I like, listen,

24:35

nothing wrong with being six four. I

24:37

totally support that. Brown eyes, amazing. I

24:39

have brown eyes. Also wonderful. No, no,

24:41

no, support all of your qualities, grant.

24:44

But I don't think that you're the

24:46

one that they're looking for if they're

24:48

going by that list of four criteria.

24:50

Right. Like your quality is great. They're

24:52

just not matching the list in the

24:55

list in the song. Yeah. And we

24:57

have to be honest about that.

24:59

Yeah, talking about a reactionary movement

25:02

on TikTok, it's like, not only

25:04

should he be tall, he should

25:06

have inherited wealth as well as

25:09

a very lucrative job and he

25:11

has to have blue eyes because

25:13

there's just got a little Aryan

25:16

with it. I don't want a

25:18

man who is generationally and also

25:20

personally wealthy unless he is so white

25:23

to be clear. But he's making it

25:25

his own. and he brings them into

25:27

the venue, which looks like maybe the

25:29

majestic downtown. I was doing a little

25:31

Googling. It's formerly a bank and now

25:33

it's like a venue. I'm obsessed with

25:35

the set dressing that they did on

25:38

this date, or there are just like...

25:40

stuffed burlap bags that have dollar

25:42

signs on them like strewn about?

25:44

That is the amount of understanding

25:46

that they want you to think

25:48

women have of money. And to

25:50

be there I did I did

25:52

used to say that I felt

25:54

like all finance jobs were just

25:56

like people stirring a cauldron of

25:59

money. So that That's it, right? That's

26:01

what they're doing. That's what they're doing,

26:03

I assume. I like Hannah Burner, a

26:05

creative, as I say. Yes, we are.

26:07

We're the creative types. There are also

26:10

like a bunch of desks, like desk

26:12

and chairs set up and a chalkboard

26:14

that says Bachelor School of Finance.

26:16

And Grant explains that this date

26:18

kind of represents not only his

26:20

love of day trading, but also

26:22

his ambition and how he bets

26:25

on himself. And I was just

26:27

like getting. really anxious as I

26:29

thought more and more about Grant's

26:31

career and the way he talks

26:33

about it I was like please

26:35

tell me his portfolio isn't like

26:37

crypto and meme stocks like please

26:39

you're like this man is just

26:42

trading shit coins all day I

26:44

hope not but like that is

26:46

like the sort of corollary to

26:48

the soft girl and trad movement

26:51

for women is the boys who

26:53

are just really into gambling on

26:55

fan dual and like and and

26:57

investing in meme stocks and crypto

26:59

like those are their perceived paths

27:02

to like a good life now

27:04

and live in the worst timeline

27:06

to be clear it's really bad

27:08

that that's where our young people

27:10

are looking to build a good life

27:13

the women some of whom

27:15

are like lawyers and investment

27:17

advisors The way that we

27:19

are shown their reaction to this is

27:21

as if girl math is the only

27:23

math any of them have ever heard

27:25

of like we don't see any of

27:27

them being like well I actually work

27:29

in finance so I'm ready instead we

27:31

see Alex being like I don't know

27:34

anything about finance I I read some

27:36

finance books once but I forgot everything

27:38

and it's like you know what I

27:40

get these kind of jokes I have

27:42

made light of my own like financial

27:44

knowledge yes in this way because I

27:46

am like ashamed of it. You know,

27:48

like I get it, but it's a

27:50

choice that they only showed this clip.

27:52

Right. I mean, that's the thing.

27:55

Not every woman is individually

27:57

personally good at handling money.

27:59

for example the two of us we're

28:02

not great at it but yeah the

28:04

way this whole date was framed was

28:06

like here's grant the masterful day trader

28:08

who knows finance and here are these

28:10

girls you know girl math and you're

28:13

like this is not real yeah what

28:15

do I know about money sometimes I

28:17

return a dress and then I

28:19

buy another dress and it's like

28:21

it was free Here's the thing

28:23

most women when they talk about

28:25

girl math are making a joke

28:27

and it is not the totality

28:29

of what they understand about finance

28:31

right yes yeah this is how I justify

28:33

shopping this is how I justify

28:36

getting myself a little treat yeah

28:38

and instead that is that is

28:40

the totality of what we are

28:42

shown from this like very Weird.

28:45

Educated an accomplished group of

28:47

women. Yeah, this very weird

28:49

date that portrays them in

28:52

this very weighted way. Personal

28:54

finance really requires like, you

28:56

know, a textbook definition of ATM

28:59

and assets. I mean, honestly, those

29:01

are pretty basic and it can't

29:03

hurt to know them. That's true.

29:05

I think probably most people basically

29:07

know what things are. I think

29:09

people know, that's I guess what

29:11

I mean, like you don't need,

29:13

like I, people know what an

29:15

ATM is. They know. Yeah, yeah,

29:17

exactly. They like know what an

29:19

asset is, even if they're not

29:21

like rattling off Merriam Webster. These

29:23

are just setups for people to

29:25

make jokes, basically, and to really

29:27

drive that point of home. They

29:29

brought in like two people to

29:31

help. host the date. One is

29:33

the business expert shark tank shark

29:36

and kind snacks founder Daniel Lubetzky

29:38

and also the comedy person. Yeah,

29:40

because he's not funny. No one

29:42

cares. They're like, well, he's there

29:44

to lend this date, gravitas, I

29:46

suppose, but the real star is

29:48

comedian and podcaster, Hannah burner, who

29:50

very much is like, why was

29:52

I selected for the business date?

29:55

Yeah. She's like, I'm here because

29:57

I'm wearing a giant blazer. She's

29:59

like, Why am I here? And

30:01

I'm like, you're here to make

30:03

jokes that it seems like no

30:05

one is laughing at. But like,

30:08

I hope that that warms up

30:10

as the date continues. She's like,

30:12

I wasn't given an intern and

30:14

they're all like stone-faced. Like, okay.

30:16

Silent. Silent. So the women change

30:18

into power suit costumes to compete

30:20

for grand bucks, which are sort

30:23

of like a paper version of

30:25

a meme coin. It's like a

30:27

made up currency with someone's face

30:29

on it. Questionable value. Questionable value.

30:31

Also did you notice that all

30:33

the women are given ties with

30:35

their power suits and only like

30:38

one or two of them actually

30:40

wear them as ties? There's like

30:42

a lot of ties as belts

30:44

or like waist cinctures. I'm like,

30:46

which I guess is just another

30:48

word for a belt, but I

30:50

mean like a belt in the

30:53

belt loop versus like whatever. Or

30:55

like just draped, draped around the

30:57

neck. I'm like no. I didn't

30:59

even notice that. I was laughing

31:01

so hard. They're like, Grant's gonna

31:03

be paying close attention and if

31:05

I'm wearing a tie, like a

31:07

real tie, he's not gonna see

31:10

me as nurturing. I mean, I'm

31:12

pretty sure Juliana actually did tie

31:14

her tie and she is clearly

31:16

Grant's favorite, so. I also wonder

31:18

how many of them actually know

31:20

how to tie a tie. Yeah,

31:22

they probably just don't know how

31:25

to tie. That is actually my

31:27

best guess. They take a whiteboard

31:29

quiz on finance related topics, like

31:31

when was the last time your

31:33

credit card was declined? And how

31:35

much should Grant spend on your

31:37

wedding? So again, like the concept

31:40

here is like women be shopping

31:42

and they be expecting expensive shit

31:44

from their men. Yeah, bleak as

31:46

hell. It's so bleak. And the

31:48

answers to how much should Grant

31:50

spend on your engagement ring? I

31:52

mean I guess I don't know

31:55

I guess I guess in this

31:57

particular situation Grant will be spending

31:59

zero dollars on an engagement ring

32:01

but will get a very expensive

32:03

engagement ring. Right. But, okay, Deena.

32:05

Deena made me gasp. Deena was

32:07

like three months of his salary

32:10

plus her entire yearly salary. And

32:12

she's an attorney. Yeah, she probably

32:14

makes like $300,000 a

32:16

year. I would assume. She wants,

32:18

she wants like, she's like

32:20

you have to drop half

32:22

a million dollars on my

32:25

ring. That was what I

32:27

was getting. Like, Dina, babe, have

32:29

you heard of lab-grown diamonds? You

32:31

can get a giant one for

32:33

like under $10,000. She's like, I

32:35

know my worth. Yeah, my entire

32:37

year of salary, absolutely. He should

32:39

pay me for that salary. And

32:41

a lot of people that I

32:43

thought were normal gave dollar amounts

32:45

over 15K as well. And I was

32:47

like, am I the one who is

32:49

crazy? I do think that some of

32:52

them were just probably looking around, being

32:54

like, I don't know, I get like... 20 like

32:56

I don't know that's such a

32:58

layup for like I don't care

33:00

as long as we're together or

33:03

like you know some they were

33:05

like no I do really care

33:07

and it's like 20 thousand Ali

33:09

Joe gives the only good answer

33:11

which is shocking as long as

33:14

it's all my finger and he

33:16

has good taste is like yes

33:18

Ali yes correct also like

33:20

who I've It's just

33:23

like a weird thing. Are you

33:25

going to inquire? Are you going to

33:27

ask for a receipt and like

33:29

return the ring if not enough

33:31

money has been spent on it?

33:34

Yes. I mean, I, there is a history

33:36

here, right, of women. expecting,

33:38

especially in certain like socio-economic classes, like

33:40

expecting a certain amount of money to

33:43

be spent on the ring. And I

33:45

think that that has been chipped away

33:47

at over the years, like this idea

33:49

that a ring is a status symbol

33:51

that like you should hold out for

33:54

the most expensive one, like there

33:56

was this growing sense that that's

33:58

materialistic and then that

34:00

a ring is just a representation

34:02

of the life you're choosing to

34:04

have together, it should reflect maybe

34:06

your taste, but not a crazy amount

34:08

of money that could be put toward

34:11

a house or something practical. We're not

34:13

seeing any of that in this episode.

34:15

They're like, I need a soft life,

34:17

and so I need a man to

34:19

recognize my worth by spending a lot

34:22

of money on me. Like that seemed

34:24

like the kind of philosophy that was

34:26

underlying a lot of these responses, which

34:28

I know is on the assent. assent right

34:30

now, but I was still kind

34:33

of flabbergasted by how

34:35

many of those answers we saw.

34:37

Yeah. Even removing Dina's

34:39

as an outlier because what

34:41

was she talking about? I was

34:43

like, Dina, babe, I think you

34:46

should just like pick out the

34:48

ring you want yourself and get

34:50

it for yourself. Although to be

34:52

fair... The way that men who do

34:54

really well on the show can come

34:57

off and date a model, women who

34:59

do really well on the show, can

35:01

come off and marry the son of

35:03

a billionaire. So maybe that's gonna

35:05

work out for her. You know,

35:07

she's like, shoot for the moon.

35:09

Will she be our next televangelist?

35:12

Only time, time will tell. So

35:14

Hannah just basically gives the grant

35:16

box to whoever she thinks has

35:18

the best and funniest answer. I

35:20

like this. She's like, I just

35:23

like giving girls money. I mean

35:25

fair. I mean, yeah, wealth, redistribution. Hannah,

35:27

you know what? This is, redistribute the

35:29

wealth to the funniest people. And Bailey

35:32

admits in her in the moment that

35:34

she's answering very strategically by just trying

35:36

to make Hannah laugh because Hannah was

35:39

the one giving out the money. This

35:41

is a great strategy. This was interesting

35:43

to me because it was a great

35:46

short-term strategy in the sense that like she

35:48

gets the grant bucks that she needs to basically

35:50

the one who gets the most grant bucks

35:52

is going to be able to buy perks

35:54

at the after party like more time with

35:56

grant. But ultimately the long game is you

35:58

want to appeal to grant. And I'm not

36:01

sure that that ended up happening.

36:03

Yeah, here's the thing. I think

36:05

she needed to then switch her

36:08

strategy once the grant bucks

36:10

portion was over. Yeah. And she

36:12

didn't really. We will discuss that

36:14

when we get to her one-on-one

36:17

time with him. Yeah. Meanwhile,

36:19

Zoe is sweating because she

36:21

is actually getting answers right.

36:23

She went to Duke, so

36:25

I think she knows what

36:27

an asset is. And she

36:29

is not getting her money.

36:31

All of a sudden is

36:33

like, I love rules and

36:35

all games should have clear

36:37

rules. Right. Like, Zoe, remember

36:39

when there was a slam

36:41

dunk competition and then you

36:44

didn't do that and you took

36:46

him upstairs? Right. You're like. This

36:48

is my moment, sees the day,

36:50

like there's no rules here, you

36:52

just have to make your move.

36:55

She literally said last week, there's

36:57

no rules. And now she's like,

36:59

I love rules and there should

37:01

always be rules. Suddenly in this

37:04

cutthroat game of bachelor, you're on

37:06

the back foot, other women are

37:08

breaking rules in more effective ways than

37:10

you, you're not liking it so much.

37:12

It's so funny how that happens. Yeah,

37:15

Zoe really cannot cut it. in the

37:17

role that she set out to play.

37:19

That was the most frustrating thing to

37:21

me about Zoe's arc in this episode

37:23

is I was like just lean into it

37:26

if you're going to be the not here

37:28

to make friends villainous kind of

37:30

archetype who just focuses on getting

37:32

time with grand but the minute

37:35

that she is not winning with

37:37

that strategy she completely crumbles like

37:39

wet cardboard. Yes. So the women

37:41

also get a chance to grab

37:43

some grand bucks in those

37:45

moneyblower pods and Ultimately,

37:47

Bailey edges Dina on the grand

37:50

box. So that night at the cocktail

37:52

party or the after party, she

37:54

gets like a menu of perks

37:56

to buy with her 12,000 grand

37:58

bucks, ranging from 1,000. for champagne

38:00

toast to 8,000 for grants shirt

38:03

to sleep in. And a trip

38:05

to Paris for five million, ha

38:07

ha, obviously she doesn't have that

38:10

many. I was like, that's not a

38:12

good perk, the shirt. No. Because if

38:14

you ask for it, it's kind of

38:16

creepy. It's a little creepy. I

38:19

mean, I will say 1,000 percent.

38:21

It was like a shirt from

38:23

a five pack of Haynes t-shirts

38:25

that they. sprayed his cologne on.

38:28

Yeah, exactly. Zero percent had Grant

38:30

ever worn that shirt. But also,

38:32

you're not, like, the thing you

38:35

should be using the grant bucks

38:37

for is to get a lot more

38:39

time with him. Right. So I

38:41

actually should have the shirt and

38:43

the dessert and the nut, like,

38:45

you needed to get the

38:47

maximum time. Right. And I think

38:49

that she Probably as you were

38:52

suggesting wasn't pivoting her strategy enough thought

38:54

that it was like funny and Like

38:56

a almost like a prank on the

38:58

other women to get the shirt, right?

39:00

It'll be so funny when I come

39:03

back in with his shirt and like

39:05

here's the thing Bailey is funny and

39:07

adorable. I just don't think she was

39:09

really I think she will do better on

39:11

paradise to be honest. I think something

39:13

that is like going on with her

39:16

that we see is that she was

39:18

so horrified to have cried in front

39:20

of Grant. So she's like, well, I

39:22

need to make sure that he just sees

39:25

me as like the fun, bubbly, funny

39:27

girl, but he wants to have

39:29

real conversations with people too.

39:31

Right, he wants to have

39:34

some emotional connections as well.

39:36

Yeah, I think that she's

39:38

pivoting back into being really,

39:40

really the funny, fun girl,

39:42

the clown. And I do also

39:44

think that it's a weird play

39:46

to ask for that from someone

39:48

that you've never even been on

39:51

a date with because if I'm him

39:53

I would be sort of like okay

39:55

you want my shirt to sleep in

39:57

cool that's allowed but that

39:59

was give me like, like, almost

40:01

a weird, it's like, we don't

40:04

have that intimacy. Right, like, maybe

40:06

men don't have that, but if

40:08

a man asked for, like, an

40:11

item of my clothing to, like,

40:13

I want your pillows that I

40:15

can sleep, like, smelling your shampoo

40:17

and we'd never been on one

40:20

time. I know, I'd be like,

40:22

okay. You'd be like, okay, we're

40:24

not on the same page, like,

40:26

I'm not, I'm not down. But

40:29

yeah. When Bailey gets back to

40:31

the women, the drama for the

40:33

night really starts simmering. She's like

40:35

flaunting her shirt, she's raining grand

40:37

bucks on the women, and the

40:39

vibe is good. They're like laughing,

40:41

having fun. It seems like most

40:44

of the women just had a

40:46

really fun time on the date. Yeah, and

40:48

Alex is like, I had so much fun

40:50

with all of you today, this was a

40:52

great time. Price is like, yeah, it seems

40:54

like the women are feeling good. But

40:56

Zoe, I think Zoe's position on

40:59

the show is sort of as

41:01

a record scratch. Like she just

41:03

comes in and grinds the vibe

41:06

to a halt in moments like

41:08

really. It's stunning. She's like,

41:10

I was not. I was

41:12

so uncomfortable today and I'm

41:14

still so uncomfortable and everyone

41:16

who was like having a

41:19

good time is suddenly like,

41:21

oh, oh, oh, oh, no. And

41:23

everyone tries. to ask her what's

41:25

wrong. Like people seem pretty supportive.

41:28

Yeah, they sound sincere. A lot of

41:30

the women are asking like, why?

41:32

What's wrong? Like, are you okay?

41:34

And Zoe tears up and says

41:36

she wasn't in her element and

41:39

wasn't able to really have time

41:41

with Grant. And she was just

41:43

frustrated by the date. She's like,

41:46

you know, it's like, you know

41:48

the answers, but that's not

41:50

cute with like air quotes. And

41:52

I get it. We had our

41:54

own complaints about the format of

41:56

the date emphasizing women's cute ignorance

41:58

over their confidence. However, that is

42:01

kind of the name of the game.

42:03

And it's also a lot to put

42:05

on a bunch of women who like

42:07

you just did something kind

42:10

of similar to that like

42:12

you have actively taken over

42:14

time, which I think we said at

42:16

the time, that's your prerogative

42:19

to do. Right. But this date you

42:21

didn't get the time and you

42:23

didn't shine on the date. so

42:26

now everyone needs to kind of

42:28

take care of you while you

42:30

have big feelings about it. That's

42:32

not what her posture was when

42:34

she was the one coming out on

42:36

top. I also think that like it's

42:38

gonna rub them the wrong way if

42:40

they had a good time on the date

42:42

and they felt like they came off well

42:45

to be like that was that was

42:47

a bad format and like the

42:49

thing that really mattered. that I'm

42:51

good at no one value that.

42:53

Yeah, no one about and they're

42:55

like they were having a good

42:57

time with that date and it's

43:00

showing off their senses of

43:02

humor and she's kind of

43:04

knocking that a little bit. She's

43:06

a real buzzkill and I came

43:08

in really liking Zoe but

43:11

her vibes are not great. Yeah, like

43:13

she just has to accept that knowing

43:15

what an asset is. wasn't the game,

43:17

just like doing a slam dunk wasn't

43:19

the game. It's showing that you're a

43:22

fun hang and you want to be

43:24

a fun hang with Grant. And if

43:26

you can't do that in this format,

43:28

then unfortunately that's kind of a

43:30

you problem. And here's the thing,

43:32

I'm, I wouldn't be that fun in a

43:34

group date and I would get frustrated

43:37

and like I could see myself crying.

43:39

That's why I don't go on the

43:41

show, because it's not, it's not meant

43:43

for me. Well also if you went

43:45

on the show then and you know

43:47

with this vulnerability you also have to

43:49

build strategic alliances among the women to

43:51

get support. Also true yeah it's probably

43:54

it's probably a bad idea to like

43:56

piss everyone off right basically say fuck

43:58

you to all of their faces. And

44:00

then be like, but where's the empathy

44:02

for me? Right, you have to build those

44:04

relationships so that the support is there

44:06

for you when you need it. And

44:08

so in their ITMs, we see that

44:10

Ali Joe and Sarafina are having a

44:12

lot of these thoughts. Sarafina is like,

44:14

I do sympathize she is a human

44:16

being, but like to cry over not

44:18

having time and you monopolize this time

44:21

when the last group date is hilarious.

44:23

And Ali Joe is like, this is

44:25

the bachelor, not the Zoe show. So

44:27

the vibe is now officially curdled

44:29

and we see that when Zoe goes

44:31

to the bar there's some like gossip

44:33

happening This is a little among the

44:35

other women. This is not like this

44:38

No, Sarafina makes a comment to

44:40

some of the other women the

44:42

editing is a little weird. It's

44:44

like I almost you don't really

44:46

see Sarafina make the comment, but

44:48

it's obviously her and you see

44:50

the other women reacting, but they're

44:52

not really doing much. They're just

44:54

kind of like making awkward faces

44:56

Yeah. So the way that it's shown

44:58

is a little odd. But what

45:00

we hear is that Sarafina makes

45:03

a comment about her dress. She

45:05

says that dress is short.

45:07

That's the shortest dress I've ever

45:09

seen in my life. Really, really

45:11

diving into a little slight shaming

45:14

here. I will say Zoe's dress

45:16

is very short. Her dress

45:18

last week was also very short.

45:20

She is the queen of micro

45:23

minis. And that is totally fine.

45:25

Like, I didn't know. They're on

45:27

a dating show. Like, I would

45:29

not blanch at someone wearing a

45:32

mini dress. Like, I never even

45:34

saw like skirt length shaming at

45:36

my Catholic Junior High. I was

45:38

like, are we doing this? Are

45:40

we are we making casting aspersions

45:43

on people because their skirts are

45:45

short? I thought that we just

45:47

all kind of rocked with minis

45:49

now. Yeah, bizarre, absolutely bizarre.

45:52

I just like. So obviously

45:54

the wrong thing to come at

45:56

Zoe for if you're frustrated with

45:58

her? Right, she's just... throwing shit

46:00

out there. Yeah, it felt like

46:03

really retro sexism. Yeah, I agree.

46:05

Zoe actually overhears this and knows

46:07

who said it. And she's pissed.

46:09

She's like, that's not girls, girl.

46:11

I don't get it. I'm at

46:13

a point in my life when

46:15

I don't have to be around

46:17

mean girls. I mean, ma'am, you

46:20

are on the bachelor. So I

46:22

don't think you're at a point

46:24

in your life when you don't

46:26

have to be around mean girls.

46:28

That's kind of part of the

46:30

show. That's, the show is a

46:32

machine dedicated to producing meanness between

46:34

girls. That's what it's, that's its

46:36

bread and butter. And also like,

46:39

I didn't realize that Zoe cared

46:41

so much about being a girl's

46:43

girl. She didn't seem to care

46:45

much less. I was just gonna

46:47

say that. That doesn't make it

46:49

okay to slut shame her for

46:51

her. No, it's not okay. It's

46:53

not okay. But Zoe is like

46:56

a very inconsistent. person and so

46:58

it's not it's also not surprising

47:00

to me that people are annoyed

47:02

by her. This is I think

47:04

kind of the tension that the

47:06

women have had with Zoe is

47:08

that it's hard to like her

47:10

because she's kind of chilly to

47:12

them but that doesn't necessarily mean

47:15

that they want to participate in

47:17

bullying her. So Zoe goes to

47:19

Chloe to vent about how she's

47:21

never said anything cruel to anyone

47:23

and why would someone say that

47:25

about her and Chloe seems sort

47:27

of Like, yeah, no, absolutely, but

47:29

she doesn't seem to feel that

47:31

strongly that Zoe is being wronged

47:34

here. Like, I feel like there

47:36

is that ambivalence of like, well,

47:38

you did kind of immediately make

47:40

enemies out of everyone, but no,

47:42

that's not nice to say, of

47:44

course. So Zoe goes to grant

47:46

and immediately just tells him without

47:48

naming names, what's been going on?

47:51

What's been going on? and

47:53

mentions that someone said her skirt was

47:56

too short, which Grant is not happy

47:58

to hear because he loves... short skirts,

48:00

I bet. Such a defender of women.

48:03

He's like, who is saying

48:05

something about your beautiful short

48:07

skirts? How dare they? He's like, I

48:09

want you to be yourself and

48:11

for there to be no petty

48:13

arguments. I'd hate to hear that

48:15

that's happening. Just keep being yourself.

48:18

And like, that's great. And he

48:20

kisses her and kind of smooth things

48:22

over. I will say that during this

48:24

whole interlude, Zoe does seem a

48:27

little drunk to me. I she

48:29

was which probably didn't slurring yeah

48:31

like we know that they limit

48:33

the number of drinks you can

48:36

have but if you have two

48:38

drinks an hour or like oh

48:40

I would be on the floor

48:42

yeah you'll still get pretty wasted

48:45

yeah I mean I think that

48:47

sometimes when you're having a bit

48:49

of an emotional time on the

48:51

show having that extra drink can

48:53

just sort of speed up. Yeah,

48:56

suddenly you're just venting everything to

48:58

Grant and crying. Yeah, you know,

49:00

I mean, that's why they like

49:02

to grease the wheels with a

49:05

little bit of alcohol. Absolutely. We

49:07

also see Grant and Juliana getting

49:09

some one-on-one time and he's just,

49:11

like his face lights up when

49:14

he is near her. He looks

49:16

like she is an ice cream

49:18

cone that he wants to lick. She

49:20

is always glistening like an

49:22

ice cream cone and they're

49:24

like poured all over each

49:27

other talking about dogs They

49:29

he has his sister has

49:31

a dog she has a

49:33

dog twinsies and they're like

49:35

making out crazy that Juliana

49:37

does not get put on the dog

49:39

date later. I know I

49:41

feel like they're saving an

49:44

international one-on-one for her. Yeah. So

49:46

grant is like having so much fun with Giuliani,

49:48

he's like, I just need to build an emotional

49:50

connection. And I feel like we basically have two

49:52

categories of women and it's breaking down more clearly

49:54

than I remember it ever being in the past

49:56

or maybe I'm just paying attention. The women that

49:59

he laughs a lot. with, but he doesn't

50:01

know if there's an emotional connection and

50:03

the women that he's really attached to

50:05

emotionally, but they never seem to have

50:08

much fun. Like Litya. Like Litya. Yeah.

50:10

Well, ultimately, Parisa is the one who

50:12

gets the group date, Rose, because she

50:15

and Grant have a really fun time.

50:17

They do some chubby bunny, which is

50:19

where you put mouthfuls of usually marshmallows

50:22

in your mouth. It looked like cake.

50:24

I was like, was that cake or

50:26

was that rice crispy treats? I couldn't

50:29

tell. God, rice crispy treat sounds way

50:31

too hard to do chubby bunny way.

50:33

I know, I know, I was concerned

50:36

for them. Maybe it was rice crispy

50:38

treat. They're like, you know, doing the

50:40

chubby bunny. I say, Grant is like

50:43

really laughing. Like it looks just the,

50:45

he looks like he's having genuinely so

50:47

much fun. Yeah. Parisa's like, I almost

50:50

choked laughing during our time together. Yeah,

50:52

on rice crispy treats or whatever, yeah,

50:54

that you were shoving in your mouth.

50:57

I don't want to be alarmist, but

50:59

like four people have died playing chubby

51:01

bunny. Really? I mean, I guess that's,

51:04

it's dangerous. It makes sense. I have,

51:06

I have played chubby bunny. Never play

51:08

chubby bunny. Wow, I like didn't even

51:11

think about the fact that would be

51:13

a dangerous past time, but you know,

51:15

it makes sense. And it's been on

51:18

a lot of reality shows this year.

51:20

This is like the second time I've

51:22

seen it in a few months. Look,

51:25

it's, it's, they're still, they're spreading this

51:27

dangerous hobby to impressionable audiences. Don't play

51:29

chubby bunny, even though it gets you

51:32

a group date, Rose. So the night

51:34

ends with the women finding out what

51:36

Zoe said because grant is like we

51:38

had such a great time time to

51:41

freak everyone out and make them start

51:43

spinning out on each other. So he

51:45

tells them after he gives out the

51:48

group date Rose that he learned some

51:50

women have felt belittled and he wants

51:52

them to be kind to each other.

51:55

And everyone is like, oh no. They

52:00

start trying to like figure out who

52:02

said it and no one will cop

52:04

to saying it. But then Julian

52:07

is kind of like, I'm no detective,

52:09

but I know it's Zoe. She is

52:11

correct. So she turns to Zoe and

52:13

is like, did you bring it up

52:15

to Grant? And Zoe is like, I'm

52:17

allowed to chat, whatever I want to

52:19

chat. In other words, yes, I did.

52:21

I thought this was a bad way

52:24

to handle it too. Yeah. I do. She

52:26

like is very... This is a very

52:28

cold response. Like yes, you

52:30

are actually allowed to chat

52:32

about whatever you want. But she

52:35

also seems to want a lot

52:37

of empathy from the other

52:39

women and starts crying when

52:42

she doesn't get it. Well, this

52:44

is like the game of how

52:46

you approach the other women that

52:48

she seems to be not

52:50

giving enough attention to. Like there

52:52

is a way to get them on your

52:55

side here, or at least get some of

52:57

them on your side. Look, I heard some

52:59

comments being made, it really hurt me, and

53:01

I went to talk to Grant, and I

53:03

brought that up to him. I didn't name

53:05

any names, because I'm not trying

53:07

to make this, you know, a huge issue, but

53:10

I, you know, I overheard someone

53:12

commenting on my skirt length or

53:14

whatever, and people would probably be

53:16

like, that's fucked up. Right. like there

53:19

I think that you see

53:21

in this conversation that the

53:23

women even Sarafina is like

53:25

do you genuinely feel that

53:28

way and I'm like Sarafina

53:30

she's talking about the really

53:32

rude thing that you said about

53:34

her but like there is an

53:37

opening there where they clearly want

53:39

to quash things and she's

53:41

going on and she's shutting

53:43

them out and So they're

53:45

trying to just like manage the situation.

53:47

They're like, we don't know what she

53:50

said to grant. She won't talk to us.

53:52

We don't know what she went to him

53:54

about or like if she's genuinely upset

53:56

about something. Let's, like, let's just sleep

53:58

and regroup in them. to try

54:00

to deescalate it, but Zoe

54:03

is crying and just being

54:05

like, you guys said exactly

54:08

what I expected. There's no

54:10

regrouping. You're so

54:12

mean, you're not nice and you're

54:14

not kind. Like, I don't know.

54:17

Yeah, this is just like, I

54:19

do, like, I sympathize, I

54:21

sympathize and feeling left out

54:23

of a group is horrible.

54:25

Also. Sometimes you have

54:28

to look at your own behavior

54:30

and say, have I been kind

54:32

and nice to these other women?

54:34

Have I created openings? Have

54:36

I taken the opportunity

54:38

to connect when it

54:41

has been presented to me?

54:43

Yeah, I think that's why Courtney Robertson

54:45

is kind of this iconic figure in

54:47

bachelor history because often the villains don't

54:49

really have the stomach for it. Like

54:51

they understand for those ties, they burn

54:53

those bridges and then they're like, why

54:55

is no one taking care of me?

54:57

Everyone's mean to me. Everyone's so mean.

54:59

And Courtney was just like, yeah, if

55:01

I do this shit, people aren't going

55:03

to like me. And that's fine. So

55:05

what, Ben likes me, suck it. That's

55:07

all I care about and like she

55:09

really didn't care. Most of us could

55:12

not be Courtney, but Yeah, this is why

55:14

Yeah, you got it. You got to be

55:16

able to own that strategy if

55:18

you're going to go in hard

55:20

from date one pursuing that strategy

55:22

and Zoe's at a breaking point

55:24

already. She's like, I don't like

55:26

where this has gotten me, but

55:28

I'm going to continue acting like

55:30

it's not my fault On that

55:33

note, we're going to take a

55:35

quick break and when we get

55:37

back, the rest of the episode.

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Can you keep up? I like

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56:10

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a mission to inspire mindful. we are back and it's the

59:46

next morning, it's a sunny

59:48

beautiful day at the mansion.

59:50

And everyone is just sobbing,

59:53

just sobbing in whatever corner

59:55

they can grab with their

59:57

iced coffee. Yeah, about what great.

59:59

said to them, they're all

1:00:02

sobbing because Grant said he

1:00:04

heard that someone said something

1:00:06

not nice. Sobbing. These women

1:00:08

do not have the stomach

1:00:10

for the emotional conflict inherent

1:00:13

in The Bachelor. Yeah. The

1:00:15

emotional swings this season are

1:00:17

out of control. Like poor

1:00:19

Alex is like uncontrollably sobbing.

1:00:21

Yeah, I. I was like, I don't think

1:00:24

he's talking about you, but then

1:00:26

again, I was like, maybe they've all

1:00:28

been talking a lot more shit than

1:00:30

we've seen because they all seem to

1:00:33

think that he might have heard something

1:00:35

bad about them. Yeah. And they all

1:00:37

seem to feel like Zoe doesn't

1:00:39

like them, doesn't trust them. Alex

1:00:42

is sobbing like, I try to

1:00:44

bond with her, but she doesn't

1:00:46

ask questions about us. I ask her

1:00:48

about her pageant. And they're

1:00:51

all like, yeah, it's true, but

1:00:53

we're trying to include her and

1:00:55

she won't let us. Which does

1:00:57

seem to track and then you

1:00:59

end up with that situation where

1:01:02

you don't want to necessarily

1:01:04

socialize with the group in

1:01:06

the way that they want

1:01:08

to and so they don't

1:01:10

trust you and they. They form

1:01:12

a collective away from you and

1:01:14

maybe they say some things that

1:01:16

are really uncalled for about you.

1:01:18

And it's hard to repair that

1:01:21

if you have given the message

1:01:23

that you don't care about what

1:01:25

they think or feel. This is just

1:01:27

the challenge of soft power, you know.

1:01:29

But this is sort of where the

1:01:31

drama with Zoe ends, which was

1:01:33

so odd to me. They're just

1:01:35

like, okay, everyone's sobbing. No need

1:01:37

to address it again. I assume

1:01:39

it will come back. Probably. He's

1:01:42

one of the women that he seems to

1:01:44

have one of those more like emotional connections

1:01:46

with. Yes, yes, I do actually think it

1:01:48

will probably come back. It just felt like

1:01:50

this dangling thing and then we like moved

1:01:52

right into Carolina stuff. And we know at

1:01:54

some point that Zoe's going to say to

1:01:56

Sarafino like you're the bitch who said my

1:01:58

dress was too short. Oh, right. Yeah,

1:02:00

because we didn't happen this

1:02:03

episode. So it'll come back,

1:02:05

but it's dropped for the rest

1:02:07

of the episode. And we get

1:02:09

a new kind of drama. But

1:02:12

first, Carolina has a drama free

1:02:14

one-on-one. Grant meets her in front

1:02:16

of a private jet. He's like,

1:02:19

we've got a little whip for

1:02:21

the day. They sure do. They're

1:02:23

going to Vegas, baby. This is

1:02:25

a classic bachelor date, although they often

1:02:28

like to do it as a group

1:02:30

date so that the bachelor can

1:02:32

like strut into a casino

1:02:34

with like five hot women.

1:02:36

I think you're thinking of

1:02:39

Alex Michelle's season. Not the

1:02:41

only time it's happened, but

1:02:43

yes, the original. They have

1:02:45

champagne strawberries, take Polaroid selfies,

1:02:47

and you'll never guess what

1:02:49

Grant does on this plane

1:02:51

to express himself. He

1:02:53

freestyle. I think we have a

1:02:56

clip. We're about to go

1:02:58

to Vegas, about to gamble.

1:03:00

Hope I don't really scramble.

1:03:03

Oh, it's my turn now, and I

1:03:05

don't know. I'm not on the ground.

1:03:07

I'm on a plane. But I just

1:03:10

don't hate it. I'm sorry that I...

1:03:12

I'm better than you. I don't know

1:03:14

what she said at the end

1:03:16

there. I re-watched it like five

1:03:19

times to try to figure

1:03:21

it out. What she said? Yeah, at

1:03:23

the end of her, like, how did

1:03:25

she end up? She said I

1:03:27

just fucking ate. And, like, why

1:03:30

did they have such a big

1:03:32

reaction to that? They're

1:03:34

just like, oh, she

1:03:36

killed that. Anyway, he should

1:03:38

have pre-written this. Yeah, like,

1:03:41

bring back the few rights.

1:03:43

This was one of the

1:03:45

moments that we... It could

1:03:47

have used a little judging.

1:03:49

Yeah, we have 100% now

1:03:51

representation of Grant's musical

1:03:54

ambitions in his bachelor

1:03:56

episodes. He's trying to make

1:03:58

it happen. You got respect it. So

1:04:01

there in Vegas and Grant is like I

1:04:03

want to learn how we would handle

1:04:05

high-stress situations as a couple. So they're

1:04:07

obvious. I was like are you going

1:04:09

to gamble together and lose a bunch

1:04:12

of money and then argue about how

1:04:14

you're going to afford to pay the

1:04:16

health insurance. They're going to launch their

1:04:18

bodies off the side of a building

1:04:20

obviously. Of course I associate gambling with

1:04:23

high-stress and most people probably wouldn't do

1:04:25

that. They're jumping off a building and

1:04:27

Carolina's like looks like there's going to

1:04:29

be another jumping up from a high

1:04:31

height date maybe next week Really

1:04:34

they're returning to the classics.

1:04:36

Yeah, and they're like we need

1:04:38

we need those adrenaline dates Carolina's

1:04:40

like I haven't jumped off of

1:04:42

anything since I jumped off my

1:04:44

middle school bleachers and hurt my

1:04:47

ankle slightly Relatable queen very relatable

1:04:49

and Grant is like, Carolina and

1:04:51

I are masking it with humor,

1:04:53

but in reality, I'm about to

1:04:55

piss on myself. You know what?

1:04:57

Grant, I appreciate a man who

1:04:59

can own his fears. Yeah, thank

1:05:01

you. Our relatable king and queen,

1:05:04

but obviously they land safely,

1:05:06

they're wearing giant harnesses, and

1:05:08

then they're like, let's do

1:05:10

it again. So a very

1:05:12

successful adrenaline date. And then

1:05:14

it's time for the night date. Carolina

1:05:16

has kind of a big revelation for

1:05:19

Grant that she is waiting to share

1:05:21

with him on this date. And they're

1:05:23

in a limo, they're headed to dinner.

1:05:25

I found this moment really amusing because

1:05:27

Grant is kind of recapping the day

1:05:29

to Carolina like I do with my

1:05:31

small children. He's like, we're going to

1:05:33

a nice place with a nice pool.

1:05:35

We jumped off a building, we took

1:05:38

a PJ, and now we're going to

1:05:40

dinner. You know when you always tell

1:05:42

your toddler about like how we'd you

1:05:44

know how we took a PJ I

1:05:46

know for me I'm like wow what

1:05:48

a day right we went to the

1:05:50

playground and then we got eggs sandwiches

1:05:52

and then we went to the library

1:05:54

and now we're gonna make spaghetti but

1:05:56

in this case it's like jumping off

1:05:59

a building and PJs. Grant also

1:06:01

takes great care of Carolina's

1:06:03

shoes and feet because they're

1:06:05

they're having dinner and one

1:06:08

of those little like you

1:06:10

dip your feet in the pool

1:06:12

while you're eating dinner. Yeah he's

1:06:14

he really wants to care for

1:06:16

her so he like kneels down

1:06:19

removes her shoe. gently caresses

1:06:21

her foot. Again, biblical, like he

1:06:23

loves tending to their extremities in

1:06:25

this very biblical way. He didn't

1:06:27

like bring a bottle, a bottle,

1:06:29

like a basin of water and

1:06:31

start washing her feet. A bottle

1:06:33

of oil like he did with

1:06:35

with Juliana. And so they get

1:06:37

into their water dinner bath. This

1:06:39

is something that I think only

1:06:42

exists on The Bachelor. It's the

1:06:44

only place I've seen it. Oh

1:06:46

no, I have seen this at

1:06:48

a restaurant at a restaurant. Port

1:06:50

of Iarda, I'm just like, I don't know

1:06:52

why you want your feet to be wet

1:06:54

while you're eating. They're running out

1:06:56

of ideas to make things more

1:06:59

luxurious is the answer. And Grant asked

1:07:01

her what makes her feel like

1:07:03

she's ready for marriage and she's like,

1:07:05

I always wanted marriage and kids, but

1:07:07

it took learning more about myself to

1:07:10

know what I wanted like in a

1:07:12

partner. And she says, Grant has quality,

1:07:14

she hasn't found another people, like empathy

1:07:17

and loyalty. the bars in

1:07:19

hell for straight men. I'm

1:07:22

so tired of dating cheating

1:07:24

sociopaths, like literally everyone else

1:07:26

I've ever taken. Looking for

1:07:28

a man with like a

1:07:31

normal emotional reaction. Yeah, you

1:07:33

can like sense other human

1:07:35

pain. You know, like that kind

1:07:38

of man. One in a

1:07:40

million. So this is the

1:07:42

moment for Carolina to drop her

1:07:44

painful secret, which is that

1:07:46

she has an invisible disability as

1:07:48

she puts it, she has epilepsy

1:07:51

and so we learned that she

1:07:53

was diagnosed after having years of

1:07:55

mysterious tremors and then ultimately a

1:07:57

seizure when she was a teenager

1:07:59

and The way she described this

1:08:01

really broke my heart, she says

1:08:03

that when she had the seizure, she

1:08:06

was mortified and didn't want people

1:08:08

to judge her for it. This

1:08:10

is awful. That like the shame that

1:08:12

she clearly has around this, the

1:08:14

way she talks about it is just,

1:08:16

you know, she's so scared that someone,

1:08:18

that people are going to leave

1:08:21

her as a result. Like clearly

1:08:23

she thinks that she's someone that

1:08:25

people have to manage in a way

1:08:27

that might be like too much. Yeah, there

1:08:30

was something about this that

1:08:32

felt like it was in sync

1:08:35

with the cultural shifts

1:08:37

again that we are

1:08:39

seeing and the political

1:08:41

shifts. It's not new to have

1:08:43

this this idea that being

1:08:46

disabled in some way, you'll

1:08:48

be perceived as weak or

1:08:51

as less worthy. But I do

1:08:53

think that there was a lot

1:08:55

of activism and work done over

1:08:58

time over time. to change the

1:09:00

way that people with disabilities were

1:09:02

viewed and to see the strength

1:09:04

that it takes to live in

1:09:07

a world that is not always

1:09:09

accommodating to their abilities. And at

1:09:11

times that could be a little

1:09:13

like trite and like sacrin even

1:09:15

like I'm a superhero and like that

1:09:17

sort of thing like putting them in

1:09:20

the sort of like another sort of.

1:09:23

different category that

1:09:25

was more sentimentalizing,

1:09:27

but there was

1:09:29

this strategy to try

1:09:31

to take away that stigma. And

1:09:34

we're at this moment where

1:09:36

like the Trump administration

1:09:39

is really targeting

1:09:41

people with disabilities

1:09:43

and is going after governmental

1:09:46

resources that provides support and

1:09:48

ensures accommodation for them. culture

1:09:50

war against marginalized people is

1:09:53

very much being directed at

1:09:55

people with disabilities. And so

1:09:58

it felt like really... I

1:10:00

know. Interestingly, time for her

1:10:02

disability to be framed as this

1:10:04

thing that... Like sense of complete

1:10:06

shame and like... Yeah, shame and

1:10:08

fear that it will be a

1:10:10

burden for people to be around her.

1:10:12

It made me, it just made me really

1:10:15

sad. It made me really sad

1:10:17

that this is the way that

1:10:19

she's thinking about her epilepsy. Yeah.

1:10:21

And she says that it's controlled with

1:10:23

medication now, but she does have to

1:10:25

take care of herself and she feels...

1:10:27

Yeah. Yeah, of course. And she says,

1:10:30

you know, at the same time, people

1:10:32

sometimes put limits on her, they maybe

1:10:34

don't invite her to things, because they

1:10:36

don't think she can handle it. And

1:10:38

she's like, no, I can like go

1:10:40

to a concert, I might have to

1:10:42

rest the next day. That does make

1:10:45

it seem like the bachelor might be a

1:10:47

hard setting for her. So I hope that

1:10:49

she's being accommodated as much

1:10:51

as possible. And she's being

1:10:53

accommodated. But she's like, yeah,

1:10:56

I don't want limits to be put

1:10:58

on me. I can take care of

1:11:00

myself, but also people will kind of

1:11:02

let me down. They'll leave me behind

1:11:05

and I need a partner who

1:11:07

isn't going to treat me that

1:11:09

way. And Grant asked for time to

1:11:11

gather himself and I was like,

1:11:13

oh, no. But then he's like, look,

1:11:15

I'm starting to feel feelings for

1:11:18

you and your epilepsy. is not

1:11:20

going to stand in the way of that.

1:11:22

Like if we get married, I will make

1:11:24

sure you have what you need always.

1:11:27

Like that will be my top priority.

1:11:29

And it looks like they're both

1:11:31

weeping a little. I do think

1:11:33

that like for grant, this plays

1:11:35

in a little bit to his

1:11:37

desire to like really be like

1:11:39

the sturdy caretaker, caretaker, yeah, protector.

1:11:42

And he does seem to

1:11:44

genuinely want to communicate to her

1:11:46

like, this is not a reason that I

1:11:48

would leave you. And I hope that's like

1:11:51

I have no reason to doubt that

1:11:53

and I think it's clearly a message

1:11:55

that she needed to hear. Just very

1:11:57

sad to see the way that it's being

1:11:59

framed. on the show at this moment

1:12:01

and really tragic that she has

1:12:03

been made to feel that way.

1:12:05

Yeah, beyond. He offers her the

1:12:07

rose and Carolina thinks that he's

1:12:09

potentially the love of her life

1:12:12

and wouldn't mind if her kids

1:12:14

look like him. I mean, fair

1:12:16

enough. Yeah. He's six four with

1:12:18

brown eyes. So. And then the

1:12:20

next morning. Something strange happens. Beverly

1:12:22

has been disappeared from the show.

1:12:24

They're just like, yeah, um, Beverly

1:12:26

got really sick, as Parisa tells

1:12:28

us in an ITM, and she

1:12:30

will not be coming back ever.

1:12:32

And she is not mentioned again,

1:12:34

except in passing by grant in

1:12:36

like half a sentence. It's very

1:12:38

odd. It's odd. They have done

1:12:40

this kind of thing before. where

1:12:42

there's like someone had to leave

1:12:44

by and you're like but are

1:12:46

they okay? Right and also like

1:12:48

he she was about to have

1:12:50

a one-on-one date like it's not

1:12:52

like she was just one of

1:12:54

the women in the house. Well

1:12:56

right it does I don't know

1:12:58

it seems like it must have

1:13:00

been something that was serious enough

1:13:02

that perhaps she was going to

1:13:04

be unable to travel. I totally

1:13:06

understand why she might have needed

1:13:08

to leave for medical reasons. What's

1:13:10

odd to me is that she

1:13:12

will have this kind of big

1:13:14

narrative significance in this moment, and

1:13:16

they have some other... They're just

1:13:18

like, well, it's fine, moving along.

1:13:20

Like to me, I was kind

1:13:22

of expecting Grant to speak to

1:13:24

her departure more substantially. Like I

1:13:26

was really looking forward to getting

1:13:28

to know Beverly, she has such

1:13:30

a wonderful smile, but like unfortunately

1:13:32

she did have to leave and

1:13:34

I just have to kind of

1:13:36

like regroup and try to make

1:13:38

the most of this week. You

1:13:40

know, that seems like when I'm

1:13:42

saying that, don't you think like,

1:13:44

oh yeah, that seems like something

1:13:46

that would happen on a past

1:13:48

season when something like this. Yes,

1:13:50

like someone would express, you know,

1:13:52

I was really thrown by the

1:13:54

fact that someone I was excited

1:13:56

to get to know how to

1:13:58

know had to leave. Yeah, it's so,

1:14:00

I think that's part of what

1:14:03

makes this episode feel unstable is

1:14:05

like, I thought that that date

1:14:07

was coming and then they're

1:14:09

like, no, not happening, this

1:14:12

other thing is happening, anyway,

1:14:14

whatever. There's a sense of

1:14:16

uncertainty that pervades. So a

1:14:18

replacement date card shows up

1:14:20

and it's a second mini

1:14:23

group date for three of the women

1:14:25

who were on the big group date,

1:14:27

Sarafina, Dina, and Latia.

1:14:29

could this be puppy love? And the

1:14:32

women are like, oh my God, dogs. I

1:14:34

mean that is exciting. To be fair.

1:14:36

You know how we say the ancient Egyptians

1:14:39

worshipped cats? We really have approached

1:14:41

a point where I think in

1:14:43

our contemporary society we worship

1:14:45

dogs. Like the way they

1:14:47

talk about being around the dogs,

1:14:50

like they're going to be in

1:14:52

the presence of divinity. Like can

1:14:54

you can you bring one back?

1:14:56

Like I can't either going to

1:14:58

get to be around dogs. Steal

1:15:00

a dog. Steal a dog and

1:15:02

bring the dog back to us.

1:15:04

That's just where we're at with

1:15:06

our relationship with man's

1:15:09

best friend right now. And Grant

1:15:11

loves dogs. So I assume that

1:15:13

he picked the women that he

1:15:16

most needed to understand their

1:15:18

relationship to dogs. So it's

1:15:20

time for a fun upbeat

1:15:22

date at Vanderpump. is in

1:15:24

the Hulu family. Naturally, we

1:15:26

got to get that cross

1:15:28

promo in and grant is

1:15:30

like I chose these three

1:15:32

women because they stood out on

1:15:34

the big group date. I know that

1:15:36

Dina was like a pot competitor

1:15:39

for the grant box, but I

1:15:41

don't remember Sarafina or Latia's

1:15:43

role on the date particularly,

1:15:45

but he wants to spend

1:15:47

more time with these three

1:15:49

women. So yeah, here we

1:15:52

go. Grant performs his doggy

1:15:54

voice for us, which has to

1:15:56

be heard to be believed, so

1:15:58

we did clip it. It's

1:16:00

important to see how these women

1:16:02

interact with dogs because it's going

1:16:04

to be a dog in the house,

1:16:07

you know, so I'm probably going to

1:16:09

hear my doggy voice coming out to

1:16:11

do. It's a boy, come in a little boy,

1:16:13

boy. That's my dog, that's my dog,

1:16:16

in a boy, that's what I do.

1:16:18

This is so funny. I can't. No,

1:16:20

I believe that people make very strange

1:16:22

voices around their dogs. That's true. And

1:16:25

then they all like play with

1:16:27

some rescue toy dogs. They do

1:16:29

because of course like Lisa

1:16:31

Vanderpump is her great passion

1:16:34

is tiny little dogs. She like

1:16:36

swans down to be like dogs.

1:16:38

I love dogs. Dogs are better

1:16:40

than people. I care about dogs

1:16:43

and not people. When I see

1:16:45

a dog, I know the dog's name.

1:16:47

Do I know the owner's name? No,

1:16:49

I don't care. But Grant loves dogs.

1:16:51

So he's okay. So I love Grant.

1:16:53

I love Grant, even though he's a

1:16:55

person. Sarafina claims that meeting

1:16:57

Lisa Vanderpump is a life

1:16:59

goal of hers. Look, she

1:17:01

was raised on VPR. I mean,

1:17:04

if you want these things, these

1:17:06

celebrity meetings, etc. You might

1:17:08

as well go on The Bachelor. Lisa

1:17:10

puts them into work like grooming

1:17:13

the dogs while Grant grills them

1:17:15

about how much exactly they love

1:17:17

dogs like everyone says they love

1:17:19

dogs but like do you really

1:17:21

love a dog enough to give

1:17:23

it a bath with me and

1:17:25

they're all like yes yes I do

1:17:28

we also learn that Dina grew up

1:17:30

with 12 dogs and 10 siblings

1:17:32

I'm sorry she there's no chance

1:17:34

she was living in this in

1:17:36

the city of Chicago as a child,

1:17:38

right? Like I don't think she must

1:17:40

be from outside Chicago. Yeah, I think

1:17:43

from outside the city because she even

1:17:45

says like I think it would be

1:17:47

mean to have a dog in my

1:17:49

condo. So she must have grown up

1:17:51

in a in a house. Can you

1:17:53

imagine having 23 dependents in your home?

1:17:55

No, that's horrifying to me personally, but

1:17:58

you know, not to her parents. She

1:18:00

means simultaneously or was it like 12

1:18:02

dogs over time? Over time? You know

1:18:04

what? That's so much. I have so

1:18:06

many questions. You could live in like

1:18:08

a rambling country estate and that would

1:18:10

be a lot of dogs. Did she

1:18:12

grow up on a farm? In Chicago. Yeah,

1:18:14

I don't know. I don't know what's

1:18:17

happening. Yeah, but she's like, I would

1:18:19

definitely get a dog if I had

1:18:21

a house and he's like, I have

1:18:23

a house. It's like great, she'll just

1:18:25

move her law practice to. Texas, right,

1:18:27

is where he lives. Yes, perfect. Grant

1:18:30

and Sarafina like take a walk together

1:18:32

and I thought this was interesting

1:18:34

just because he seems to like

1:18:36

see her as a real contender, but

1:18:38

their dynamic together reads us so

1:18:40

awkward to me. Like, yeah, he's

1:18:42

like, I really appreciate you opening

1:18:45

up and she's kind of staring

1:18:47

in the other direction. kind of

1:18:49

stiffly and being like, well, it's not easy,

1:18:51

but I care about you and like I

1:18:53

want to get to know you as much

1:18:55

as possible. So yeah, like sometimes it's hard,

1:18:57

but it's worth it. Honestly, I get nothing

1:19:00

from the two of them. Like, I just,

1:19:02

I just, I get nothing. Yeah. To me,

1:19:04

this did not look like a romantic

1:19:06

couple in any way, like in their

1:19:08

body language. That's my feeling. Yeah.

1:19:10

I think he thinks she's beautiful

1:19:12

she's beautiful. She's beautiful. She's

1:19:15

beautiful. She's beautiful. She's

1:19:17

beautiful. I don't think there's a

1:19:19

chemistry, which is accurate, yes, but

1:19:21

I don't think there's a chemistry

1:19:23

between them. I think she's going

1:19:25

to get a one-on-one soon, though. Oh, yeah,

1:19:28

it looks like maybe even see something that

1:19:30

looks like a one-on-one in the teaser.

1:19:32

Latilla and grants it with a dog,

1:19:34

of course, and talk about their relationship

1:19:37

as well. And the contrast with Sarafino

1:19:39

was really pronounced to me. Like,

1:19:42

they see much more like turned

1:19:44

toward each other and comfortable and

1:19:46

comfortable. relaxed. But the content

1:19:48

of what they're saying seemed

1:19:50

a little misaligned. Like she's talking

1:19:53

about how strong her feelings for

1:19:55

him are so soon and he's

1:19:57

like, yes, I'm really attracted to

1:19:59

you. We know Grant, you said she

1:20:01

was beautiful, like night one, and

1:20:04

she is. Is. And then we

1:20:06

learned, this was not announced at

1:20:08

any point. This was very odd.

1:20:10

Yeah, they're just like, oh, Latie

1:20:12

is on her one-on-one dinner now.

1:20:14

You're like, wait, a one-on-one dinner

1:20:16

was, okay, cool. I mean, I

1:20:18

guess that makes sense. It's a

1:20:21

two-part date. and they sent three

1:20:23

people on it and it was

1:20:25

planned for one so okay. It's

1:20:27

just strange like I feel like

1:20:29

in previous seasons they would have

1:20:31

set this up for some drama

1:20:33

like oh they have to try

1:20:35

to impress grant on the date

1:20:38

to win that dinner and instead

1:20:40

there's this reward of the dinner

1:20:42

that happens kind of off screen

1:20:44

they're told about it off screen

1:20:46

the winner is announced off screen.

1:20:49

It kind of saps all of the

1:20:51

dramatic juice out of that choice. So

1:20:54

why do it at all? I guess

1:20:56

so great to get to know Latya

1:20:58

about it. Whatever. I don't know. It's

1:21:00

just strange. Like I think that's the

1:21:03

kind of choice that leads to this

1:21:05

overall sense that the episode is kind

1:21:07

of shapeless. Yeah. Where it's not clearly

1:21:10

signposted what's coming. And so when these

1:21:12

things happen, and it's not even like

1:21:14

a big reveal when it happens, seen

1:21:17

to another. Yeah, exactly. Oh, okay. I

1:21:19

guess this is happening. And so we

1:21:21

learn about this because Carolina is starting

1:21:24

to absolutely spiral back at the house.

1:21:26

And she's doing it in like exactly

1:21:28

the way that will elicit the least.

1:21:31

sympathy from the other women, which is

1:21:33

she's like, it's just so hard to

1:21:35

see Grant go on a date with

1:21:38

other women because we had such an

1:21:40

amazing date and I just honestly, part

1:21:42

of me just wishes I didn't even

1:21:44

have that date. Girl. And all these

1:21:47

other women, almost all of them have

1:21:49

had no one-on-one date with Grant. So

1:21:51

they're all just staring at her blankly

1:21:54

like, could, okay, I would have killed

1:21:56

for that. Cool. I'm not supposed to

1:21:58

feel bad for. you know one knows

1:22:01

how to respond to that kind of

1:22:03

and this is the story on the

1:22:05

show yeah and that's that's always been

1:22:08

a thing like there's nothing that women

1:22:10

respond worse to than any hint of

1:22:12

ingratitude for the time and attention that's

1:22:15

been lavished on you by the bachelor

1:22:17

they all want that like what you

1:22:19

don't want to ride in a helicopter

1:22:21

because you're terrified of helicopters you ungrateful

1:22:24

bitch And like to basically be like,

1:22:26

I wish I didn't have a one-on-one

1:22:28

date at all because it's so

1:22:31

hard now that we had such

1:22:33

an amazing connection to think that

1:22:35

he could be connected to anyone

1:22:38

else. It's just very unsympathetic. No

1:22:40

one wants to hear it. That's

1:22:42

something that you need to talk

1:22:44

to the like onset therapist about.

1:22:46

Yeah. Rip out, you know, like

1:22:48

sections of your bed sheets, make

1:22:50

a journal like write about it,

1:22:52

anywhere, anywhere else. Yeah, get the

1:22:55

producers and be like, I know

1:22:57

you want to hear about how

1:22:59

I'm smiling. Yeah, so let's do

1:23:01

it. Let's do it. Let's do

1:23:03

it. I'm ready. So this spiral

1:23:05

pauses when Dina and Sarafina return

1:23:07

and they're like, Latia got a

1:23:10

dinner date and we caught right

1:23:12

to Latia and Grant walking to

1:23:14

dinner downtown at City Hall. And

1:23:16

Grant is just reflecting on how

1:23:19

great Latvia is. He's like, she's

1:23:21

beautiful, but she's also so genuine.

1:23:23

She has a nurturing spirit about

1:23:25

her. That's something that I'm looking

1:23:28

for. Is it? Is he looking for someone

1:23:30

who's nurturing? I think he's looking for

1:23:32

someone to be the mother of

1:23:34

his children. I have been floored by

1:23:36

how much nurturing is running away with

1:23:39

the competition to be like the

1:23:41

most distinctive word of the season.

1:23:43

I was not expecting nurturing to

1:23:45

be it. No, it comes up

1:23:47

multiple times. It's like, okay, okay,

1:23:49

Grant. Okay. And Latia is

1:23:52

looking extremely nurturing, if you

1:23:54

know what I mean, in

1:23:56

her clingy red maxi dress.

1:23:58

Stunning. Honestly, I... got a

1:24:00

little breathless. And they go to

1:24:02

sit down in city hall and

1:24:05

it's pretty echoy as these states

1:24:07

sometimes tend to be. Yes, because

1:24:09

generally like old government buildings were

1:24:11

not like made for filming. Yeah,

1:24:14

and there's like no one else

1:24:16

even there, so there's literally nothing

1:24:18

to damp in the ways. Nothing

1:24:20

to block the sound waves from

1:24:23

just bouncing all over the place.

1:24:25

I always just think how funny it

1:24:27

must feel to sit there with your

1:24:29

voice echoing all around you as you

1:24:31

share these like intimate things. Yeah, it

1:24:33

seems like very distracting. Yeah, but

1:24:35

they're making it work and they're

1:24:37

talking about their families. Grant tells

1:24:39

Latia more about his childhood in

1:24:42

New Jersey. He talks about how

1:24:44

his dad was this successful business

1:24:46

owner and he struggled with addiction.

1:24:48

And when he was in kind

1:24:50

of the thro of his addiction,

1:24:52

he used to kind of. try to

1:24:55

turn Grant against his mother and

1:24:57

like basically say that she was the

1:24:59

issue within the family and then as

1:25:01

Grant got older he realized that his

1:25:04

mom was actually the one like trying

1:25:06

to keep every threat of the

1:25:08

family together. Yeah and then he says she

1:25:10

isn't as affectionate as I would like but

1:25:13

she does it through action. I thought that

1:25:15

was interesting. Yeah I feel

1:25:17

like it does kind of he's starting

1:25:19

to paint a picture of this family

1:25:21

where his dad was maybe kind of

1:25:23

in certain ways not reliable

1:25:26

or not really pulling his weight

1:25:28

and his mom was maybe came off

1:25:30

as a little bit cold and so

1:25:32

it was easy to kind of say

1:25:34

well the problem is that your mom

1:25:37

is this way and grants like

1:25:39

but she does like she took care

1:25:41

of us and that yeah and that

1:25:43

was love yeah but he's like but

1:25:45

I want to feel loved when I

1:25:47

and married and I want to come

1:25:49

home to a kiss and a hug

1:25:51

and like my wife and kids you

1:25:54

never know what you can accomplish when

1:25:56

you have that kind of support. You

1:25:58

can trade so many shit coins. something

1:26:00

that starts to come through in

1:26:02

this episode that I kind of

1:26:05

want to keep an eye on

1:26:07

is that Grant seems drawn

1:26:09

to women who are

1:26:12

professionally successful and in

1:26:14

sort of like high-powered

1:26:16

type careers but The way he

1:26:18

frames their role. He has a

1:26:21

vision of family life that seems

1:26:23

incompatible with that and even the

1:26:25

way that he's framing this here

1:26:27

like absolutely we all do benefit

1:26:30

from a supportive family at home

1:26:32

in like love and support but

1:26:34

this paradigm of like the wife

1:26:37

and kids at home greeting you with

1:26:39

a kiss and a hug and like

1:26:41

what if she's working with that? is

1:26:44

such an old-fashioned vision of like the

1:26:46

nuclear family. Yeah, I clocked that as

1:26:48

well. But Latia seems to feel

1:26:50

good about this conversation. She talks

1:26:52

to Grant about her family history

1:26:54

and she, you know, we know

1:26:56

this already from her intro package,

1:26:59

but her, she talks about the

1:27:01

fact that she grew up with

1:27:03

a white mom from Idaho and

1:27:05

that her dad was from Fiji.

1:27:07

They met in Hawaii. and her

1:27:09

father died in a car accident

1:27:11

when she was three months old

1:27:13

and her mom was just 23.

1:27:15

Yeah, which sounds incredibly

1:27:17

difficult and she talks about,

1:27:20

you know, imagining herself in

1:27:22

her mom's position, how difficult that would

1:27:24

have been to be that young with

1:27:26

a baby and kind of on your

1:27:29

own. And she says that her

1:27:31

extended family really like stepped

1:27:33

in. and helped raise her after her

1:27:36

father passed away. And she seems

1:27:38

very close with her whole family.

1:27:40

Yeah. She's like, it's really hard

1:27:42

to be away from my mom

1:27:44

and the whole family. Like my

1:27:47

grandparents, my aunts and uncles, they

1:27:49

were all really, you know, they made

1:27:51

me feel special. They really took care

1:27:53

of us. And Grant loves this

1:27:55

because family. And so he

1:27:57

surprises her with a facetime.

1:27:59

her mom, which honestly is like on

1:28:01

his lap. Yeah, we didn't eat the lap,

1:28:04

but you know what? It is a great

1:28:06

gift. It is like the nicest thing you

1:28:08

could do for someone when you are just

1:28:10

completely isolated on this show. I know. I

1:28:12

was kind of like, why don't you

1:28:15

let Let's you take this call here

1:28:17

and you go make yourself scarce, but

1:28:19

better to get the call than not

1:28:21

at all. And then he gets to

1:28:23

do a little Meet the Parents test

1:28:25

run and he's got his lines because

1:28:27

Grant is good with the lines. He's

1:28:29

like, you did a great job raising

1:28:32

her. It's so great to finally meet

1:28:34

the woman. I've heard so much about

1:28:36

like play in the hits and Latia's

1:28:38

mom is like eating it up. And

1:28:40

after this, Grant offers Latia the

1:28:43

Rose. They dance and kiss as a

1:28:45

string trio plays and he says after

1:28:47

tonight, Latia could be my wife.

1:28:49

She, like, technically, she could be.

1:28:52

They really have a relationship where

1:28:54

I have yet to see any

1:28:56

connection that's, like, playful or

1:28:59

fun, which seems really important to

1:29:01

him. And he's, I know. He'll

1:29:03

say, like, we have fun, but

1:29:05

I need to find that emotional

1:29:07

connection, but he's not really doing

1:29:09

the reverse yet. Yeah. I do wonder

1:29:11

if Latvia is going to end

1:29:14

up being, like, the good on

1:29:16

paper person. where she's like

1:29:18

accomplished has this like

1:29:20

beautiful, has this incredible

1:29:22

support network from her

1:29:24

family. But like is, is

1:29:26

there the Zazazu zoo? The Zazazu

1:29:28

TV. Yeah. Meanwhile back at the

1:29:30

mansion, Carolina's breakdown is continuing

1:29:32

and there has been more

1:29:34

fuel thrown on the fire.

1:29:36

We have a clip of

1:29:38

her explaining this. I was

1:29:40

already questioning everything and then

1:29:43

off camera I had a

1:29:45

conversation with Rose. She

1:29:48

told me something strange. She said

1:29:50

that last week on our group

1:29:52

date When me and Grant danced

1:29:54

together he told Rose when he

1:29:56

was dancing with me he was

1:29:58

thinking about her Like I

1:30:01

feel cringy at

1:30:03

this point. And

1:30:06

you know I

1:30:08

have a rose

1:30:10

so I'm safe.

1:30:12

I'm not happy

1:30:14

and I don't

1:30:17

want to do

1:30:19

all these things

1:30:21

if I know for

1:30:24

a fact that

1:30:26

I'm wasting

1:30:28

my time. Oh, not fun.

1:30:30

I would be upset to hear that too.

1:30:32

I do feel like she's being

1:30:35

a little dismissive of the

1:30:37

fact that she won that

1:30:39

extra time and then immediately

1:30:41

got a one-on-one date and

1:30:43

a rose, which should indicate

1:30:45

that he is genuinely interested

1:30:47

in her, even if he

1:30:49

is also really interested

1:30:51

in Rose. It's clear that he is

1:30:53

not ignoring. Writing you off. No,

1:30:56

she's just fully spiraling. Yeah. The

1:30:58

next morning, she's kind of quelled the

1:31:00

tears, but she's in a really sour

1:31:02

mood from this point going forward and

1:31:05

like keeps doing the thing where she's

1:31:07

like, I'm safe with air quotes because she

1:31:09

has the rose, but like it doesn't mean

1:31:12

anything. But you are. He's not going to

1:31:14

take it away because he was thinking

1:31:16

about rose at one point. You're of

1:31:18

course you're going to be anxious. Yeah,

1:31:21

really like this person. Again, this is

1:31:23

why I wouldn't go on the show because

1:31:25

I would not be able to date in

1:31:27

this environment. Well, I think Carolina has had

1:31:29

this little bubble of feeling like she's

1:31:31

grant's focus because she got that extra

1:31:33

time on the group date and then

1:31:36

immediately got a really good one-on-one. And

1:31:38

then as soon as that was punctured,

1:31:40

everything has just fueled the sense of

1:31:42

like, why is he paying attention to

1:31:44

other women? Yeah. That's not okay. It really

1:31:46

stresses me out. It's not good. Suddenly

1:31:49

there is a knock on the door

1:31:51

and a present has been left outside.

1:31:53

This felt very old school, Bachelle, to

1:31:56

me, where they used to give them

1:31:58

a box before every group. Yeah, throwback

1:32:00

clues throwback and inside is a

1:32:02

prom puzzle and a bunch of

1:32:04

corsages because I guess it's prom

1:32:06

for some reason it's happening again

1:32:08

the lack of signposting here is

1:32:10

killing me it always used to

1:32:12

annoy me when like Chris or

1:32:14

Jesse would come in and be

1:32:16

like we're not having a cocktail

1:32:18

party tonight because we're having a

1:32:20

pool party you're like no I

1:32:22

wish we had that this but

1:32:24

you actually need that to signal

1:32:26

to the viewer where you're at

1:32:28

the episode I was like what

1:32:31

I was like what do you

1:32:33

mean there's a prom is this

1:32:35

another group date no they're all going

1:32:37

like what no it's just the

1:32:39

cocktail party but yeah it's not frame

1:32:41

that way it really and and

1:32:43

more than anything it's just a way

1:32:45

for them to get some of

1:32:47

the golden bachelorette guys on the show

1:32:49

yeah they're like you loved prom

1:32:51

when we did it on the

1:32:53

golden bachelorette so we're doing it

1:32:56

again and we have Gary Jonathan

1:32:58

Keith and Jack Jack you

1:33:00

know Jack was just like this is

1:33:02

my moment I get to grill

1:33:04

again at the bachelor mansion he actually

1:33:06

has to grill this time and instead

1:33:08

of just hovering over like

1:33:10

Chris yeah he's so happy he's

1:33:12

like Christopher is not here

1:33:14

to fuck up my grill game

1:33:16

he's explaining that you don't like

1:33:18

press the burgers because that gets

1:33:20

it the women are like I

1:33:23

don't know uh -huh thank you Jack

1:33:25

we also the setup for this

1:33:27

is that like Grant has never

1:33:29

been to prom before because he

1:33:31

prioritized basketball so much he was like I

1:33:33

guess doing basketball things instead of his

1:33:35

senior prom he makes it sound like he

1:33:37

was so focused on basketball that he

1:33:39

had no relationships and therefore like no reason

1:33:41

to go to prom he's like I

1:33:43

didn't really have relationships a single friend focused

1:33:45

on basketball like he gets kind of

1:33:47

a far away look in his eye like

1:33:49

what was I doing with my life

1:33:51

back then I didn't have any girlfriends or

1:33:53

anything anyway now I have 13 dates

1:33:55

for this makeup prom it's going

1:33:57

to be so much better And

1:34:00

so they all put on prom

1:34:02

gowns. Gary Jonathan and Keith in

1:34:04

addition to some grilling advice,

1:34:07

give some really important bachelor

1:34:09

advice to the women such

1:34:11

as you should be genuine.

1:34:14

You should be yourselves. Maybe

1:34:16

you'll find love. Great. Let's

1:34:18

dance. Thanks guys. We could do

1:34:20

it about you. And

1:34:22

whoever edited the prom scene is

1:34:25

definitely a millennial because it's all

1:34:27

set to get low. I was

1:34:29

like, this literally is my prom.

1:34:32

I was so happy. I was

1:34:34

like, yes, all I can think

1:34:36

about when I hear this song

1:34:39

is me driving around the suburbs

1:34:41

blasting get low. Oh no, I

1:34:43

literally remember being like in cheap

1:34:46

dresses from like forever 21 or

1:34:48

cools. Like every home coming in

1:34:50

prom. to the walls. Like sweaty

1:34:53

people are pressed up against

1:34:55

me. And they also have

1:34:57

to like bleep out so

1:34:59

much. They're like sweat drop

1:35:02

down my, all these. Do you

1:35:04

remember when we were young?

1:35:06

They would, they censored it

1:35:09