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2:00

Welcome! Do you love it or

2:02

leave it live from Dynasty Typewriter?

2:05

Looks like school's out.

2:07

For good! Who needs an education

2:09

when you have all those chickens

2:11

to raise anyway? Tonight, on the

2:13

show, Al Franken is here

2:16

just... Yes! We'll discuss the

2:18

future of the Democratic

2:20

Party, and sadly, it's

2:22

present. Then odds Go

2:24

Akatska is back for

2:26

the ultimate battle! of

2:28

brains versus brawn versus

2:31

bullcut. I'm calling

2:33

myself bronze. Because

2:35

I do Pilates. Three times

2:37

a week. Bitches see

2:39

our right. At the end, we'll

2:42

all plead for a second

2:44

chance with some of our

2:46

first loves. But first,

2:49

let's get into it. What

2:51

a week. In

2:54

a Sunday Night Truth Social Post, Trump

2:56

wrote that he considered the pardons former

2:58

President Biden granted to the House January

3:01

6th Committee, quote, void, vacant, and of

3:03

no further force or effect because they

3:05

were signed using an auto pen, which

3:08

was based on a Heritage Foundation report

3:10

that may not be accurate. Republicans love

3:12

a job-stealing robot until it's signing a

3:14

pardon for Liz Cheney. Road

3:17

Trump in other words Joe Biden

3:19

did not sign them, but more

3:21

importantly he did not know anything

3:24

about them This is just

3:26

flatly untrue Joe Biden absolutely

3:28

knew about them. Does he still

3:30

know about them? That's a fair

3:33

question But not important Trump was

3:35

asked about the pardons aboard Air

3:37

Force one and whether he considered

3:39

other pardons in executive order signed

3:41

via auto pen to be legit

3:43

But I would say that that

3:45

now they want, because I'm sure

3:47

Biden didn't have any idea that

3:49

it was taking place. It'll be up to

3:51

the judge, who I will smear publicly every

3:54

day until that judge's wife can't walk from

3:56

her car to jazurize without her head on

3:58

a swivel. Oh, you think

4:00

that joke is sexist? The judge

4:03

is a lesbian. All right. The

4:05

doctor also a lesbian? On Friday,

4:07

Trump quietly signed a proclamation invoking

4:09

the Alien Enemies Act of 1798

4:11

for the first time since World

4:13

War II, saying that he would

4:16

use those wartime powers to quickly

4:18

deport alleged Venezuelan gang members without

4:20

a hearing. I don't love that

4:22

he's learning how to do things

4:24

quietly. Trump is the potentially rabid

4:26

bat that's loose in your house.

4:29

I'm not saying it's good if

4:31

the bat has a little bell

4:33

around its neck. I'm just saying

4:35

it's better. It's at least you

4:37

know where the bat is. It

4:39

raises a lot of questions. Who

4:42

put the bell there? But it's

4:44

better than not knowing where the

4:46

fucking bat is. On Saturday a

4:48

federal judge temporarily barred Trump from

4:50

conducting these deportations and ordered the

4:52

administration to return any planes that

4:55

had already taken off. Really the

4:57

only situation I can think of

4:59

were the pilot announcing that you're

5:01

heading back to the airport and

5:03

it's an exquisitely good news. But

5:05

the administration did not do that

5:08

and instead shared footage on Sunday

5:10

of immigrants being forced off of

5:12

airplanes and into a Salvador and

5:14

mega prison. But I guess we

5:16

should have had a clear message

5:18

on the economy, so that's on

5:21

us. Great question, Whoopi

5:23

enjoy. I'd lower prices more than

5:25

Joe Biden, that's for sure. Applause

5:27

breaks out for 10 minutes. Well.

5:30

Trump's borders are Tom Holman on

5:32

Monday claimed that the flights didn't

5:34

need to be turned back because

5:37

they were already above international waters

5:39

when the order came through. I'm

5:41

just going to flag if this

5:43

opens the door, specifically the plain

5:46

door, to extrajudicial murder over international

5:48

waters, a practice so common in

5:50

previous conflicts and under earlier fascist

5:53

regimes that it has a name,

5:55

and that name is Death Flights.

5:57

And I would have put a

6:00

sound of... there but Lazarus said

6:02

we were using them quote as

6:04

a crutch but that won't be

6:06

a problem anymore because Lazarus is

6:09

on a death flight. Homan also

6:11

said this we're not stopping I

6:13

don't care what the judges think

6:16

I don't care the left things

6:18

we're coming. In fairness to Tom

6:20

deporting people without a hearing is

6:23

the only way he can come.

6:25

The White House shared a video

6:27

of shagled Venezuelan deportees being forced

6:29

onto a plane accompanied by the

6:32

song Closing Time by Semic. Yeah.

6:34

Closing Time. You don't have to

6:36

go home, but you can't. Don't

6:39

sing along with the fascist propaganda.

6:41

I haven't seen a great song

6:43

defiled like this since the last

6:46

time I went to karaoke and

6:48

sang closing time. Semisonic in a

6:50

statement objected to the video and

6:52

said they don't condone the song

6:55

being used in this way Adding

6:57

the song is about joy and

6:59

possibilities and hope and they have

7:02

missed the point entirely And here

7:04

I thought it was a song

7:06

about getting laid after the bar

7:09

closes a learning moment for a

7:11

song So why would the White

7:13

House post such a video other

7:15

than his fascist agit prop for

7:18

internet poisoned losers sitting in front

7:20

of sticky keyboards? Breh Secretary Carolyn

7:22

Levitt, no relation, explains. We are

7:25

encouraging illegal immigrants to actively self-deport,

7:27

to maybe save themselves from being

7:29

in one of these fun videos.

7:32

Being in one of these fun

7:34

videos. In fairness, on Caroline's letterbox,

7:36

she described the movie room as

7:38

the perfect date night movie. Weird.

7:41

It's just weird tasting movies. Get

7:43

the popcorn! The deported Venezuelan immigrants

7:45

were allegedly members of the gang...

7:48

Dyeragua, but relatives of at least

7:50

four of these men insist they

7:52

weren't affiliated. Again, we learn the

7:55

dire importance of keeping an updated

7:57

LinkedIn profile. Ahead of a hearing

7:59

Friday, lawyers for five of the

8:01

immigrants say none of them received

8:04

due process and several of them

8:06

were identified as gang members to

8:08

do common tattoo designs before being

8:11

sent to a maximum security prison

8:13

in El Salvador. Head writer Halley

8:15

has a huge tattoo that says,

8:18

and this is real. Yes, and.

8:20

On the side of her ass,

8:22

that's right. She has the fucking

8:24

improv slogan, yes and, on her

8:27

ass. She belongs in a maximum

8:29

security prison, way more than those

8:31

guys. One man had a crown

8:34

memorializing his late grandmother, while another

8:36

had a rose tattoo with leaves

8:38

made of money. We used to

8:41

have due process. Now our immigration

8:43

policy amounts to what a white

8:45

Gen X divorce dad thinks being

8:47

in a gang means based on

8:50

old episodes of CSI Miami. Another

8:52

man was a Venezuelan soccer player

8:54

who protested against the country's authoritarian

8:57

president, Nicholas Maduro, last year, and

8:59

his lawyer said he was allegedly

9:01

detained and tortured by the Maduro

9:04

regime before legally seeking asylum in

9:06

the United States. His lawyer said

9:08

he was idied as a gang

9:10

member based on a tattoo of

9:13

a crown over a soccer ball,

9:15

and a soccer media post in

9:17

which he made devil horns. He

9:20

went like this. I can't believe

9:22

this is how I find out

9:24

that everybody on my 10th grade

9:27

field trip to the Liberty to

9:29

the Liberty. It's

9:33

fucking evil they could not these

9:35

people and yet even as stories

9:37

of the mistakes being made by

9:39

the administration Make the need for

9:41

due process even more clear Trump

9:43

called for the district judge James

9:46

Bozburg who issued the orders putting

9:48

a hold on the deportations to

9:50

be impeached House Republicans raised to

9:52

introduce articles of impeachment making Bozburg

9:54

at least the fifth federal judge

9:56

to face a GOP impeachment attempt

9:59

after ruling against the Trump administration

10:01

It's just an intimidation tactic Senate

10:03

to remove a judge. So it's

10:05

really just a terrifying waste of

10:07

time, like a conjuring movie, or

10:10

asking a guy in a fadora

10:12

what he's working on. That evidently

10:14

rattled Chief Justice John Roberts, who

10:16

on Tuesday issued a rare statement

10:18

rebuking Trump, saying impeachment is not

10:20

an appropriate response to disagreement concerning

10:23

a judicial decision. First they came

10:25

for the judges, and I realized,

10:27

fuck, I am a judge. Trump

10:30

was asked about the

10:33

statement on Laura Ingram.

10:35

Are there circumstances when

10:37

you would defy a

10:40

court order? Well, I

10:42

think that number one,

10:44

nobody's been through more

10:46

courts than I have.

10:49

I think nobody knows

10:51

the court's any better

10:53

than I have. I

10:56

would say the chief

10:58

judge does, but nobody

11:00

knows them better than

11:03

I have. And what

11:05

they've done to me,

11:07

I've had the worst

11:10

judges. I've had crooked

11:12

judges. Nobody understands marriage

11:14

better than I do.

11:17

Why I have more

11:19

ex-wives than anyone? Some

11:21

of the worst ex-wives

11:24

you've ever seen. But

11:26

at least one Republican is

11:28

pushing back. Here's Senator Lisa

11:30

Murkowski on why Republicans have

11:32

gone silent. That's why you've

11:34

got everybody just like Ziplip,

11:36

not saying a word, because

11:39

they're afraid they're going to

11:41

be taken down, they're going

11:43

to be primaried, they're going

11:45

to be given names in

11:47

the media. You know what?

11:49

We cannot be cowed into

11:51

not speaking up. What's this

11:53

we shit?" said Lindsay Graham,

11:55

rubbing a Trump bobble head

11:57

with mineral oil for some

11:59

reason. This

12:04

week also brought us an

12:07

amazing moment from a town

12:09

hall in Columbus, Nebraska, where

12:11

Republican Congressman Mike Flood foolishly

12:14

asked how his constituents wanted

12:16

to resolve the deficit. Taxable

12:18

today! Here's a, okay, let's

12:21

talk about this. Let's talk

12:23

about this. So your proposal

12:25

to solve this is to

12:28

tax the rich. Really

12:36

open the Mike floodgates. This is

12:38

neither here nor there. But Mike

12:40

flood looks like the kind of

12:42

guy who went out of print

12:44

around 1998. They stopped making that

12:46

addition. Was he a floor model?

12:48

Did somebody find him on eBay?

12:51

What's happening? They don't make that

12:53

guy anymore. If

12:55

you too would like to go to

12:57

a GOP town hall and shout at

13:00

Support of Democracy, I have some great

13:02

news. Vote Save America just launched a

13:04

new push to hold Republicans accountable by

13:07

connecting you with other voters who want

13:09

to show up to these town halls

13:11

or other events Republicans are too afraid

13:13

to attend in their districts. So go

13:16

to Vote Save america.com today and do

13:18

your email and zip code and get

13:20

connected with state and local organizations near

13:22

you who want to put these screams

13:25

to good use. Also, if you are

13:27

hearing this on Saturday or Sunday, I

13:29

am in Wisconsin, I am in Wisconsin

13:32

right now. And we're campaigning to elect

13:34

Susan Crawford to the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

13:36

Yes. And to stop Elon Musk from

13:38

installing a right-wing judge who will then

13:41

shift the court into a Republican majority

13:43

that will put in place in your

13:45

total ban on abortion, will do gerrymandering,

13:48

will regal elections. So go to votesaveamerica.com/Wisconsin.

13:50

Come say hi. I'll be in Madison

13:52

on Saturday all day. We'll be in

13:54

Milwaukee on Sunday. Come say hi. Come

13:57

say hi. Yeah, sure. Meanwhile the EPA

13:59

has presented White House with plans to

14:01

eliminate its scientific research arm and potentially

14:03

fire over 1,000 scientists who provide the

14:06

research on air pollution, hazardous chemicals, and

14:08

climate change. Looks like we're down to

14:10

just one experiment. Us. Yep. Donald Trump

14:13

on Thursday signed an executive order dismantling

14:15

the Department of Education, though it will

14:17

ultimately take an act of Congress to

14:19

formally close the department. It's a depressing

14:22

executive order, but look on the bright

14:24

side. In a few years, no one

14:26

will even be able to read it.

14:29

Democratic Senator Tina Smith fired back

14:32

at Trump tweeting, we know you're

14:34

just trying to wear us out,

14:36

but for the record I am

14:38

not overwhelmed, my zone is in

14:41

flooded. Mine is, said Lindsay Graham,

14:43

the bobble had nowhere to be

14:45

seen. At a party convention on

14:48

Sunday, a French official asked America

14:50

for their stuff back. We're going

14:52

to say to the Americans who

14:55

have chosen to side with the

14:57

tyrants, to the Americans who fired

14:59

researchers for demanding scientific freedom, give

15:02

us back the Statue of Liberty.

15:04

First, they took Roman Polansky and

15:06

the most annoying people from college.

15:08

And now this? Honestly, if they

15:11

also take our tired, our poor,

15:13

our huddled mass is yearning to

15:15

be free. I think they get

15:18

a deal. White House spokesperson, Carolyn

15:20

Leave it, no relation, issued this

15:22

response. Absolutely not. And my advice

15:25

to that unnamed low-level French politician

15:27

would be to remind them that

15:29

it's only because of the United

15:32

States of America that the French

15:34

are not speaking German right now.

15:37

Whoa, sick burn, sick burn. We did

15:39

save friends from the Germans. For years,

15:41

the United States resisted entering World War

15:43

II, of course, as Hitler's armies marched

15:46

across Europe and the Luftwaffe murdered tens

15:48

of thousands of civilians across Britain, to

15:50

couch Churchill into a capitulation that thankfully

15:52

never came, even as the America first

15:54

movement here in the United States, rife

15:56

with anti-Semites and fascist sympathizers, fought any

15:59

effort to lend support to our desperate

16:01

allies. while knowingly scoffing at the hysterical

16:03

notion that the war could ever reach

16:05

our shores, not unlike how President Trump

16:07

snapped at Zilinsky in the Oval Office

16:10

a few weeks ago. During the war,

16:12

everybody has problems. Even you, but you

16:14

have nice ocean and don't feel now,

16:16

but you will feel it in the

16:18

future. God bless, God bless, you will

16:20

not have the war. Don't tell us

16:23

what we're going to feel. So there's

16:25

this there's this federal judge Trump put

16:27

him on the court in 2020 and

16:29

if you look if a judge was

16:31

put on the court by Trump at

16:34

2020 He's a real fuck And he

16:36

filmed this shocking video as part of

16:38

a dissent You pull the trigger and

16:40

fire around right when that happens it

16:42

automatically will wrap the slide back, eject

16:44

the round, the spent cartridge out of

16:47

the gun, it will grab a new

16:49

round out of the magazine, put that

16:51

round into the chamber, into the barrel,

16:53

and it'll be ready to fire another

16:55

round the next time you pull the

16:58

trigger. So obviously ridiculous. It's a play

17:00

for Trump's attention and a spot on

17:02

the Supreme Court shortlist while basically making

17:04

himself an expert in the case and

17:06

antagonizing his fellow judges who ruled in

17:08

a different way in a long list

17:11

of offenses of the last few weeks.

17:13

It doesn't really rank high. But of

17:15

course it's only interesting and sensational because

17:17

it's a departure from a tradition of

17:19

respect and integrity in our judiciary by

17:22

judges for the process and for each

17:24

other. He can do this. He can

17:26

film a little video. with guns, a

17:28

judge issuing a dissent with guns in

17:30

his hand, because he lives in a

17:32

system built by people who would never

17:35

do that. They can threaten the Department

17:37

of Education, because we no longer live

17:39

in a world where volunteers had to

17:41

go door to door to door to

17:43

find children with disabilities who had never

17:46

seen the inside of a classroom. Why

17:48

are they so willing to fire scientists

17:50

at the EPA? Because it's been a

17:52

long time since the rivers caught the

17:54

rivers caught fire. Because whatever their designs

17:56

on manipulating public perceptions of the economy,

17:59

these people do not have nearly enough

18:01

respect for the value of trustworthy nonpartisan

18:03

data or fear of a world where

18:05

people are starving while the government tells

18:07

us we've never been richer. How can

18:10

someone like Lutnik who got rich in

18:12

finance take to the cameras to push

18:14

a single stock from his perch at

18:16

commerce like he did on Wednesday when

18:18

he told Fox viewers to buy Tesla

18:20

stock? If you want to learn something

18:23

on this show tonight, buy Tesla. It's

18:25

unbelievable that this guy's stock is this

18:27

cheap. It'll never be this cheap again.

18:30

I'll note that it did

18:32

go down after this. Lutnik

18:37

was able to build his

18:39

vast wealth in a society that

18:41

until just a few years ago

18:44

had strong laws and norms against

18:46

brazen public corruption just like

18:48

that. It's the same reason Republicans

18:50

can negotiate a funding bill without

18:53

Democrats while trusting that Democrats are

18:55

too responsible to allow the

18:57

government to shut down because their

19:00

little teenage political rebellion is made

19:02

possible by the responsibility and integrity

19:04

of others past and present.

19:06

Caroline Levitt, no relation, gets to

19:09

sanded that podium and make

19:11

her snide little joke because people

19:13

like her... Lost. At the 1936

19:16

Democratic Convention, FDR gave what is

19:18

to me, one of the

19:20

great political speeches ever given. It's

19:22

known for rendezvous with destiny, but

19:25

it ends when he talks about

19:27

people in other lands who

19:29

sold their heritage of freedom for

19:32

the illusion of a living. And

19:34

here we are, 90 years later,

19:36

it's happening here, and that's

19:38

what Trump is selling right now.

19:41

And his wife is not even

19:43

a lesbian. is rolling over in

19:46

his grave. He also was

19:48

rolling while he was alive. But

19:50

that was forward and back. This

19:53

is over. Speaking of Tesla, the

19:55

company has been forced to

19:57

recall most cyber trucks to repair

19:59

a piece of trim that's

20:01

prone to flying off in traffic

20:04

because it's just glued on. It's

20:06

not a cyber truck. It's a

20:09

sports-glutility vehicle. But where Elon

20:11

taketh away, Elon Givith, Sunni Williams,

20:13

and Butch Wilmore, the two astronauts

20:15

who have been on the International

20:18

Space Station for nine months,

20:20

returned safely to Earth on Tuesday

20:22

on a SpaceX vehicle, due to

20:25

a paperwork act on Megaprism. But

20:29

their lawyers are hopeful to have

20:31

them back in the US in

20:34

the next nine months tops Yeah,

20:36

that's a good joke The astronauts

20:38

were originally supposed to be in

20:40

space for an eight-day mission But

20:42

problems with their Boeing capsule left

20:44

them stranded for the better part

20:46

of a year and that's why

20:48

you always packed 266 extra pairs

20:50

of underwear And

20:53

finally, startled researchers

20:55

in New Zealand

20:57

captured footage of

20:59

an octopus riding

21:01

on the head

21:03

of a shark

21:05

and nicknamed it

21:07

shark-de-pus. I haven't

21:09

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21:12

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White Lotus. Hey,

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22:35

And we're back! Please welcome to

22:37

the stage. He's a man who

22:39

knows how to get a vote

22:42

and a laugh. And God knows

22:44

the Democrat scene both. Please welcome

22:46

back to the show. It's Senator

22:48

Al Franken. Thank

22:52

you for being here. Welcome back.

22:54

There he is. Thank you. Good

22:57

to see you. You're in this

22:59

new Netflix show. Yes. The residence.

23:01

The residence. It's fun. It premiered

23:04

on people's TV's today. Today. Today.

23:06

I just saw the beginning of

23:09

the first episode coming here because

23:11

I was like, oh, I'm going

23:13

to see. I want to see

23:16

what this is about. Oh, well

23:18

then you saw me. There I

23:20

was. In a hearing room. in

23:23

a hearing room as a senator

23:25

as a senator that was cool

23:28

what was that like must have

23:30

been so exciting well the sets

23:32

are amazing and the whole the

23:35

whole show is it takes place

23:37

in the sort of the residence

23:40

it's called the residence of the

23:42

White House and there's a murder

23:44

and My senator is there, I'm

23:47

the chairman of a committee to

23:49

try to determine whether it's a

23:51

suicide or a murder, and it's

23:54

a murder, but my senator wants

23:56

it to be a suicide to

23:59

cover for the, I don't know,

24:01

the White House for some reason.

24:03

Interesting. Interesting. Not really, but that

24:06

part. No, no. It's actually a

24:08

hilarious eight shows. Yeah, it's really

24:10

fun. And Kylie Minogas in it?

24:13

She sings in it. Yes, she

24:15

is in it. Did you talk

24:18

to her? I did not. I

24:20

was not in that. I was

24:22

in the hearing room at the

24:25

time. She is the star of

24:27

the show. Yeah, she's and she's

24:29

absolutely amazing. She was like the

24:32

detective, right? She is the detective,

24:34

Cordelia Cup. That's a fun name.

24:37

Yes, there's great names in this.

24:39

What's your name in it? Senator

24:41

Aaron Filkins. Oh, Filkins, that's a

24:44

fun name, Filkins. Yeah, Filkins, the

24:46

names in this are really good.

24:48

But anyway. And so no, Ouzo

24:51

is remarkable. There's a scene in

24:53

the last episode in which she

24:56

basically has a 30-minute monologue. But

24:58

don't spoil it for them. Well,

25:00

I wasn't going to. You're right.

25:03

I don't know why I doubted

25:05

you. Yeah. What was I going

25:08

to do? Say who the murderer

25:10

was. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah,

25:12

and it is a murder, not

25:15

a suicide. Right. Okay. Did he

25:17

have any flashbacks having to talk

25:19

to talk to Ted Cruz? Did

25:22

I have any? No I didn't.

25:25

You know, it was funny. The

25:27

first stage note from my character

25:29

was avuncular. So I thought of

25:32

colleagues of mine who had been

25:34

avuncular, like Lamar Alexander, Tennessee, avuncular.

25:36

Let's see, who else did I

25:38

think of? Oh, Chuck Grassley? Oh

25:41

yeah. Evuncular? You know, Orrin Hatch

25:43

died. And I went in my

25:45

email. and I searched for his

25:47

name for some unrelated reason and

25:50

it turns out that he had

25:52

emailed me before he died because

25:54

I had shown an interest in

25:56

ending daylight saving time. Well, actually

25:59

going to permanent daylight saving time,

26:01

which is something that he was

26:03

in favor of. And he had

26:05

sent me an email about it

26:08

saying that he agreed. I missed

26:10

it. Dead. But he's avuncular is

26:12

all I was getting at. He

26:15

was avuncular. Did you know him?

26:17

I did, of course. Yeah. We

26:19

served. We wrote a song together.

26:21

Oh. He used to write songs

26:24

and I had a song that

26:26

we teamed up on. Wasn't great.

26:28

Okay. Who else is a bonkular?

26:30

Or Lindsay Graham could be a

26:33

bonkular. So anyway, we're in a

26:35

constitutional crisis. Yes. Yes? Just something

26:37

we should probably get to. I

26:39

was chuckling about it backstage. But

26:42

I feel like there's this sort

26:44

of strange... There are these two

26:46

things happening side by side. On

26:48

the one hand, Trump is doing

26:51

these extraordinarily dangerous things, right? And

26:53

strange and kind of unprecedented things,

26:55

whether it's what he's doing to

26:58

our allies in Europe or what

27:00

he's now doing with these sort

27:02

of... What he's doing to Ukraine.

27:04

I mean, that is just unbelievable.

27:07

He's switched sides. When he said

27:09

to... to Zelenski, you don't have

27:11

the cards. The number one card

27:13

was us. Right. And so he's

27:16

basically saying, I'm taking away the

27:18

card. And that is just a

27:20

travesty. So, and so there's, so

27:22

I want to understand what you

27:25

think we should be doing to

27:27

respond to that because what I

27:29

often see are Democrats in what

27:31

is sort of a classic. Vice

27:34

script of dealing with a rising

27:36

authoritarian menace, which is they believe

27:38

in the institutions They're trying to

27:40

prove that those rules and institutions

27:43

can work by following them, but

27:45

they're dealing with someone that doesn't

27:47

care about the rules will use

27:50

them when they're useful, will break

27:52

them when they're not. And I

27:54

wonder if you just have a

27:56

overall sense of how you think

27:59

Democrats should be fighting back. I

28:01

think Democrats should be fighting back

28:03

by taking every chance they can

28:05

to, well, they could have, for

28:08

example, made them go over the

28:10

cliff on the... On the continuing

28:12

resolution. On the continuing resolution. So

28:14

let's, so I'm curious, that's, so

28:17

you think that was the, you

28:19

think they should have stuck together

28:21

and said, I mean that's what

28:23

Nancy Pelosi has said, others have

28:26

said that. Pelosi said that. She

28:28

always got something if you give

28:30

something up you always get something

28:33

and Schumer didn't get anything for

28:35

giving up So then what do

28:37

you make of their which is

28:39

look I think this is a

28:42

genuinely hard question though I come

28:44

down where you are What do

28:46

you like the Chuck Schumer response

28:48

to that is? They didn't negotiate

28:51

with us, but They know correctly

28:53

that a shutdown would be devastating,

28:55

that Democrats care more about the

28:57

consequences than Republicans do, and it

29:00

would accelerate what Trump and Elon

29:02

want to do to dismantle the

29:04

government anyway. They could turn that

29:06

shutdown into a win, and there

29:09

would be no off-rap. That's one

29:11

way to look at it. And

29:13

uh... Well, what's the response to

29:15

that? What's the response to that?

29:18

If the, if, like we live

29:20

in the world, I mean, this

29:22

was why I feel like, I

29:25

feel like Schumer's getting a ton

29:27

of blowback and I think it's

29:29

rightfully so that he does, but

29:31

it's in the luxury of the

29:34

world where we didn't have the

29:36

shutdown by a bunch of people

29:38

saying he should have fought harder.

29:40

But like if we were in

29:43

the shutdown right now and we

29:45

didn't know how to get out

29:47

of it, it might not be

29:49

so obvious. And I think that

29:52

by just giving him the, giving

29:54

them the votes, we didn't do

29:56

that. Yeah. How much of it

29:58

do you think is not just,

30:01

obviously in the final moments, there

30:03

was a binary choice. Do we

30:05

give them the votes or not?

30:08

How much do you think was

30:10

in the expectations and strategy leading

30:12

up to that? What do you

30:14

think they should have been doing

30:17

differently before we ever got to

30:19

that vote? Well, it should have

30:21

been negotiating and saying we'll give

30:23

you something for our votes. That's

30:26

usually how these things work. That's

30:28

what Pelosi was basically saying. You

30:31

know, she doesn't give up something

30:33

unless you get something. But they

30:35

do think that's what they were

30:37

doing, right? Like there was a

30:39

bipartisan process that Patty Murray was

30:42

running in the Senate. And I

30:44

guess the hope was if a

30:46

House bill couldn't pass unanimously among

30:48

the Republicans, then that would have

30:50

come to fruition. But once Trump

30:53

kind of... But once a House

30:55

bill did pass... They didn't think

30:57

the Republicans would pass it. Right.

30:59

So they just didn't have a,

31:01

they didn't have a plan B.

31:04

Well, that was a mistake then.

31:06

Gotta have a plan B. Gotta

31:08

have a plan B. Gotta have

31:10

a plan B. So polling basically

31:12

shows an overarching problem for Democrats

31:15

that our national brand is very

31:17

bad. There's just new data came

31:19

out. David Shore wrote about it

31:21

in the Times, talked about it

31:23

with Ezra Klein, that across a

31:26

broad swath of issues, Democrats are...

31:28

less trusted than Republicans, except on

31:30

a very few issues like climate

31:32

change, mental health, Medicare. There was

31:34

a few, very few issues, set

31:37

of issues, where we got. But

31:39

on a host of other issues,

31:41

inflation, affordability, housing, the economy, Republicans

31:43

have us beat. What do you

31:45

make about that? What do you

31:48

make of that? How did the

31:50

Democratic brand become so toxic? And

31:52

what do you think about figuring

31:54

out a way out of it?

31:56

Well, obviously on something like inflation

31:59

the peak inflation at 9.1% That

32:01

kind of killed us for it,

32:03

you know, yeah, we got hammered

32:05

for that. Yeah, we got hammered

32:07

for that. Yeah, that happen for

32:10

all kinds of reasons, one of

32:12

which was that we probably paid

32:14

out too much money during the

32:16

during COVID. They're never going to

32:18

agree with you on that. They're

32:21

like, shut up, hey, I'm getting

32:23

shut up. Well, I think I

32:25

think that, you know, summer said

32:27

that we were doing that and

32:29

I think we did. I think

32:32

we got inflation because of it.

32:34

How much do you think we

32:36

paid for having, like how much

32:38

of a price was the fact

32:40

that Joe Biden in the final

32:43

two years of his term had

32:45

become such a terrible communicator? Well,

32:47

I, you know, I, this is

32:49

an easy thing to do, but

32:51

I blame Biden for not doing

32:54

what he said he was going

32:56

to do when he ran the

32:58

first time, which he said he'd

33:00

be an interim. Transitional figure. And

33:02

he obviously was beginning to fail.

33:05

And I don't know, everybody here

33:07

experienced that first debate. And why

33:09

he didn't pull out after that?

33:11

I don't know. I don't know.

33:13

Yeah. I also wonder, I mean,

33:16

I know what you think about

33:18

this, but obviously Joe Biden, like

33:20

we paid a price for having

33:22

the bully pulpit, basically empty. But

33:24

I also wonder too that a

33:27

lot of the Democrats who might

33:29

become presidential candidates are people that

33:31

sat out and didn't challenge Joe

33:33

Biden during that time because they

33:35

thought it was too risky that

33:38

they kind of didn't want to

33:40

pick that fight. And I wonder

33:42

if you think Democrats pay a

33:44

price now for having been a

33:46

part of. Look, I think everybody

33:49

was making the best choice they

33:51

could, given that Joe Biden was

33:53

still on the race and nobody

33:55

had challenged him. But collectively the

33:57

country saw leading Democrats all get

34:00

behind someone that with their own

34:02

eyes, they thought wasn't up to

34:04

it. I don't think that they

34:06

knew that he wasn't up to

34:08

it. I don't think they saw

34:11

that until they saw at that

34:13

debate. I really thought, I remember

34:15

talking to someone who is a

34:17

very highly thought of Democratic, someone

34:19

who advises candidates and is very

34:22

good at this. saying that they

34:24

couldn't wait to that debate where

34:26

Biden would show and what he

34:28

was and kick from sass and

34:31

But then we we saw the

34:33

first three seconds of that and

34:35

then the rest of that debate

34:37

and we just were flabigasted wasn't

34:39

that a wild night remember that

34:42

watching it? You're just like this

34:44

it was really surreal you couldn't

34:46

believe what you were seeing my

34:48

wife and I were just, you

34:50

know, distraught. I mean, it was,

34:53

that was, that was the election

34:55

right there. Yeah, for me, I'll

34:57

tell you, it was different for

34:59

me. I would say I was

35:01

distraught for the first 30 minutes.

35:04

Then I was a little bit

35:06

numb. Then the last 30 minutes,

35:08

I was like, well, he's gonna,

35:10

this is not gonna work. You

35:12

know, we're gonna get a change.

35:15

It was so bad, it became

35:17

something else. came vaguely exciting. You

35:19

thought that he would drop out?

35:21

Yes, of course, because of what

35:23

we saw with our eyes. Yeah.

35:26

Yeah, it was shocking that he

35:28

didn't like the next day go.

35:30

Yeah. I'm out of here, everybody.

35:32

Remember when Jill Biden had to

35:34

come out after and say how

35:37

great a job he did. That's

35:39

how you know you have found

35:41

the right person. That's a good

35:43

marriage. I do, I mean that.

35:45

You know, that's what you want.

35:48

You want to fuck up so

35:50

bad in front of the whole

35:52

country. Then have your wife come

35:54

out and be like, honey, way

35:56

to go. You fucking did it.

35:59

You're great. Were

36:01

you on you never you're

36:03

not somebody that breaks? I

36:05

do break sometimes. Huh? How

36:07

is that S&L 50? Oh

36:09

That was great. You think

36:11

there'll be another 50? Well

36:13

it would have to I

36:15

don't think Lauren can do

36:18

another 50. Right. If that's

36:20

what you mean. Yeah, it's

36:22

amazing to do 50. It's

36:24

amazing to do 50. I

36:26

was there. I was one

36:28

of the original writers. Yeah.

36:30

Yeah. And, you know, I

36:32

remember, Tom Davis, I don't

36:34

know if you remember Tom

36:36

Davis, Franklin Davis or this

36:38

comedy team, and we were

36:40

two of the original writers.

36:42

And I remember as soon

36:44

as we got there and

36:46

met the other writers, met

36:49

some of the cast, and

36:51

I just said, Tom, this

36:53

is going to be a

36:55

big hit. And he was

36:57

going, he went, yeah, right.

36:59

And I just knew it

37:01

was going to be a

37:03

big hit, because our generation

37:05

had never had a chance

37:07

to be on TV. And

37:09

so this was, and we

37:11

had, you know, we had

37:13

Balushi, we had Acroy, we

37:15

had Gilda, we had Jane

37:17

and Lorraine, we had Chevy,

37:20

we had Garrett. That was

37:22

it. We had seven cast

37:24

members. If you think about

37:26

it now, think about how

37:28

many cast members, do you

37:30

watch the show now? Yeah,

37:32

they're like, I don't know,

37:34

17, 18 cast members and

37:36

featured players. Not since John

37:38

Belushi dined alone. Have a

37:40

genius. Something like that. Something

37:42

like that. It's a Thomas

37:44

Jefferson. Yeah. Thomas Jefferson dining

37:46

alone. Yes. Yes. I don't

37:49

like Thomas Jefferson. I'm not.

37:51

I think he's overrated. He

37:53

wrote the declaration of independence. Yeah,

37:56

and I think he gets he

37:58

definitely gets the credit for that

38:00

Yeah, for sure. Okay. I just...

38:02

Explain yourself. So, I think he's

38:05

like, temperamentally, very French, and he

38:07

had, there was a moodiness to

38:09

him, and a kind of like,

38:11

there's a kind of like, hypocritical

38:14

egotism to the whole thing, and

38:16

obviously a slaveholder. And there was

38:18

a really... Well, he, yeah, and

38:20

had a romance. Well, that's a

38:23

thing. You know, in the history

38:25

books, written by the kind of

38:27

people that wrote history books, when

38:29

they were writing those history books,

38:32

it's a romance. Also, he operated

38:34

a nailerie in which children had

38:36

to make nails all day. And

38:38

so it's like, he wasn't just

38:41

like a slave owner. He was

38:43

like, into it. Tax

44:08

Act knows you probably don't need

44:10

help filing taxes. But if you

44:12

get stuck, we have live experts

44:14

you can talk to. And who

44:16

knows? You could hit it off

44:18

and become long-term tax friends. Staying

44:20

up late at night, talking about

44:22

deductions, refunds, personal exemptions. Heck, you

44:24

could even fall in love and

44:26

create a little dependent of your

44:28

own one day. Or... they could

44:30

just answer your filing questions. Tax

44:32

Act. Let's get them over with.

44:34

Let's get them over with. Let's

44:36

get them over with. Please

44:43

welcome to the stage, Otzko Kotskah!

44:45

Yes, hello, hi! Hi, thanks for

44:47

being here. Hello, beautiful, hello, hi,

44:49

hello, an honor. Hi, how's it

44:51

going? Hey. So good to see

44:53

you. Good to see you. Good

44:56

to see you too. It's been

44:58

so long. It's in so long.

45:00

In fact, we know the last

45:02

time we saw each other. Right.

45:04

Because last time we saw each

45:06

other, I left my jacket at

45:08

your house. I left my jacket

45:10

at your jacket at your house.

45:12

Eight months ago I said, oh

45:14

I'll pick it up next week.

45:17

And then you were in like

45:19

Survivor. Yeah. No, but yes, yeah,

45:21

it was a long time ago.

45:23

Yes, you know, time. It's good

45:25

to see you. Great to see

45:27

you too. And you have a

45:29

Hulu special. Yes, I do have

45:31

a Hulu special coming out in

45:33

June. Disney Plus internationally. Yes, nice.

45:35

Maybe if I say. I saw

45:37

your last special. Thank you so

45:40

much for watching. I saw your

45:42

last special and was terrific. Thank

45:44

you. And I saw it with

45:46

my daughter and her 11 year

45:48

old son who loved it. Yeah,

45:50

that's the thing. A lot of

45:52

children, a lot of parents have

45:54

their children watch my shows. And

45:56

I'm like, I'm not, I think,

45:58

because they're like, oh, look at

46:01

her hair cut. She's so family

46:03

friendly. She's so, so wholesome. Like

46:05

six year olds will be at

46:07

my shows and I'm like, I'm

46:09

not wholesome. My family is parasite,

46:11

the movie, okay? There is mental

46:13

illness, there is, you know, undocumented

46:15

immigrants, you know, there's all kinds

46:17

of stuff going on. Magical rocks,

46:19

magical rocks, what is that? What

46:21

is magical rocks? Well, was that

46:24

in parasite? Parasite. Oh, I don't

46:26

remember that part. Was that a

46:28

calming part? Was

46:30

that a calming part in the

46:32

movie? Did you watch Parasite? I

46:34

also watch Parasite and also don't

46:36

remember that. I remember, yeah. No,

46:38

there's like a stone that has

46:41

properties. Am I crazy? That's the

46:43

part you took away from a

46:45

movie where there's murder and right

46:47

people having to run away? We're

46:49

talking the same parasite. Yeah, yeah,

46:51

yeah, yeah, no for sure. Like

46:54

the Korean family? Uh-huh, okay. Okay,

46:56

yeah, no, we all take away

46:58

from things different things, you know,

47:00

and Right, yes, yes, yes, we

47:02

it's imbued with it has properties

47:04

That's right. Hey, that's right. So

47:06

you filmed your special on November

47:09

9th Yes, I did. Yes, yeah,

47:11

and that was an interesting time

47:13

It was. It was. I said,

47:15

why me? You know, who's, it's

47:17

like, everyone was like, well, this

47:19

is, this will be good, you

47:21

know, because people will need it.

47:24

I said, yeah, people will, how

47:26

about my feelings? Who's, who's making

47:28

the comedian laugh? You're Pagliachi. Yeah,

47:30

I know, exactly. Or whatever. That's

47:32

right. Do you know this story?

47:34

Yes, not everybody. Thank you. It's

47:36

an educated... Very interactive, yes. But

47:39

doctor, I, Pagli, Pagli, Pagliaci, Pagliaci,

47:41

I never know whether to say

47:43

it correctly or like trash from

47:45

Long Island, because I want to

47:47

say Pagliaci, you know what I

47:49

mean? Like, I want to say

47:52

it, Long Island style. Pagliaci, Pagliaci.

47:54

Who are we talking about? He's

47:56

a clown. It's another subplot in

47:58

parasite. He keeps bringing up. No,

48:00

and so, yeah, but honestly, election

48:02

week, you know, so it happened

48:04

on Tuesday, right? The elections and

48:07

I was shooting my special on

48:09

Saturday. But honestly, do you remember

48:11

that week, like every day, since

48:13

after the elections, it felt like

48:15

four weeks had passed? Yeah. So

48:17

it actually worked to my advantage.

48:19

Like people had forgotten. by the

48:22

time Saturday rolled around. Or like

48:24

they were like, we do not

48:26

want to talk about it, you

48:28

know? Yeah. So I loved your

48:30

previous special. Thank you. Which was

48:32

a lot about your, I've seen,

48:35

I don't know if I'm confusing

48:37

specials, but this was special about

48:39

your mother. I was going to

48:41

say rocks or stones, magical stones.

48:43

No, yes, it's about my mother,

48:45

yes, it's about my mother, about

48:47

an intruder that came to our

48:50

house three times in the same

48:52

day. Yes, there was an intruder

48:54

that came to my house three

48:56

times in the same day. So

48:58

I made that like the three

49:00

acts and then in the end

49:02

how we ultimately like fought him

49:05

off or yeah, this is special.

49:07

How did you figure out what

49:09

to talk about in this special

49:11

if you couldn't rely on somebody

49:13

trying to break into your house?

49:15

I know, right, right? That's why

49:18

comedians are always like, oh, I

49:20

gotta go and bungee jump, or

49:22

I gotta go to Peru to

49:24

find stories. Yeah. But, um. Some

49:26

people go on reality shows, it's

49:28

crazy. Right? And I don't blame

49:30

you, you know, but sometimes, like,

49:33

your family has enough secrets. Like

49:35

I said, my family is, like,

49:37

parasite the movie and that, you

49:39

know, there was always more to

49:41

uncover. Like I found out my

49:43

grandma had technically kidnapped me. when

49:45

I was a kid, my grandma's

49:48

my best friend, she raised me,

49:50

and Ira Glass helped me figure

49:52

out the truth this year. And

49:54

so that's in my new special.

49:56

He's a good person to go

49:58

to for that kind of a

50:01

thing. He's very soothing voice. Very

50:03

soothing voice, very non-judgmental. He'll just

50:05

say it to you like, it

50:07

is, you know, with, he just,

50:09

he just, he just was like,

50:11

well, I did the research. go

50:13

and your grandma did technically kidnap

50:16

you and you could still press

50:18

charges if you want it's what

50:20

he said very helpful very calm

50:22

you know yeah you're right I'm

50:24

not going to no no no

50:26

okay you like you like you

50:28

like you like you like your

50:31

grandma she's my best friend yeah

50:33

so why would you want to

50:35

do that exactly yeah exactly and

50:37

what for for for money her

50:39

money is my money This does

50:41

pay, right? I told her. Okay.

50:43

I mean... Now, in the time

50:46

we've taken up to catch up

50:48

with Otzko, more and more news

50:50

has happened. Which is why we're

50:52

going to quiz both of you

50:54

about this week's news and the

50:56

other headlines we maybe haven't covered

50:59

yet in a segment we're calling

51:01

News It or Lose It. If

51:03

we do it a second time,

51:05

it will be. So we gotta

51:07

make a good. So it's really...

51:09

It was cheering for it, I

51:11

thought. They're just well trained. Question

51:14

number one, which famous baseball player

51:16

and civil rights icon did the

51:18

Trump administration delete from the Department

51:20

of Defense website this week adding

51:22

the letters DEAI to his pages

51:24

URL? That's a good guess because

51:26

they did remove anola gay from

51:29

the Department of Defense website because

51:31

it had the word gay in

51:33

it. Wow. It's just an oopsie.

51:35

It's so hard to keep up.

51:37

I mean, Rich can just name

51:39

anyone, right? Now, oh, well, we've

51:42

already lost. I see the sad

51:44

face. Okay, never mind. The correct

51:46

answer is Jackie Robinson. He served

51:48

in the army during World War

51:50

II. The White House subsequently reinstated

51:52

Robinson's page on Wednesday with a

51:54

Pentagon press secretary telling the press,

51:57

everyone at the Defense Department loves

51:59

Jackie Robinson. We made a mistake?

52:01

No, they didn't get. They didn't

52:03

wait. Let's not go crazy. Next

52:05

question, Governor Gavin Newsom sent what

52:07

to approximately 100 California CEOs, including

52:09

tech leaders, along with a note

52:12

that said, if you ever need

52:14

anything, I'm a phone call away.

52:16

Al, this is on you. I'm

52:18

here to... Inola Gay? No. Did

52:20

not send the... World War II

52:23

bomber, the Anola Gay, the decommissioned

52:25

World War II bomber that dropped

52:27

the bomb on Hiroshima. Yeah. To

52:30

Anola, to the, no, it was

52:32

a burner phone. It was a

52:34

burner phone. Just to say, hey, call

52:36

me, you know, he's available, I guess.

52:38

Mm-hmm. Okay. So he gave each of

52:41

them a burner phone? Yeah. Okay. I

52:43

think he was like a bit. And

52:45

I say he's like, you can reach

52:47

him, you can reach him, you

52:50

know. You know. because he cares about

52:52

business. You think you know

52:54

someone? Now, Aatska, I do have

52:56

a question for you, which is, where

52:58

are you with phones? Are you ready

53:00

to switch to a flip phone? Are

53:03

you sick of the phones? I am not

53:05

sick of the phones. I'm actually,

53:07

yeah, I'm actually kind of

53:09

pro cell phone addiction, a

53:11

little bit, because, you know,

53:13

like, what's the alternative? Your

53:16

own brain and your thoughts,

53:18

you know, and so that's...

53:20

That's terrifying and so right

53:22

because the depression commercials are

53:24

always like people are like

53:26

I'm depressed in the commercials,

53:28

but none of them have

53:30

a phone in their hand

53:32

What are these what are

53:35

these people with depression in

53:37

the commercials? What are

53:39

they doing? They're always

53:41

outdoors? We're getting lost in

53:43

a park. Yes But

53:47

flip phones, yeah, that counts.

53:49

Words, it's still distraction.

53:53

I like my phone too, although

53:55

I think it's bad for

53:57

me. Next up, during

53:59

his... One hinged trip to the

54:01

Kennedy Center this week, Donald Trump

54:04

raved about Betty Buckley's performance in

54:06

what famous Broadway musical. Oh. I'll

54:09

provide a hint. Okay. All white

54:11

cast, yeah? Probably. No, I'm just

54:13

thinking. But that's already a lot

54:16

of musicals. It's a kind of

54:18

musical where you'd make a lot

54:20

of memories. Memory. Cats? Correct. Oh,

54:23

he likes cats? He likes cats.

54:25

He is unhinged. He also has

54:28

previously talked about, we've talked about

54:30

this on the show, that he's

54:32

previously talked about Music Man, and

54:35

that's a musical about a con

54:37

artist who comes to a small

54:40

town, inspires them with a vision

54:42

of a more perfect past, and

54:44

then ultimately to try to steal

54:47

from them, but then... has a

54:49

kind of an awakening and I

54:51

don't really remember the details but

54:54

isn't that interesting that is Donald

54:56

Trump's one of his favorite musicals

54:59

is a musical about a con

55:01

artist yeah I don't think he's

55:03

very it is makes sense but

55:06

he's not really self-aware it's a

55:08

great musical though sure yeah yeah

55:11

music man or cats which one

55:13

if you had to watch one

55:15

for the rest of your life

55:18

music man music man it's got

55:20

a plot but cats is like

55:22

unexpected every time for me I've

55:25

watched it and every time I'm

55:27

still like a gas like what

55:30

what what do you mean and

55:32

so yeah I like that surprise

55:34

element of cats every time you

55:37

know okay yeah I like that

55:39

music man has some rap elements

55:41

mmm and I called that but

55:44

it's kind of what it is

55:46

yeah river city alright yeah oh

55:49

yeah he's Trump specifically talked about

55:51

uh About Buckley's turn Tony winning

55:53

turn in 1983 of Grisabella Our

55:56

fashion president what a funny thing

55:58

Grisabella is that another musical. That's

56:01

a that's a cat. Oh one

56:03

of the cats is Grisabella See

56:05

I'm a guest again. I don't

56:08

I don't remember I don't remember

56:10

Grisabella Grisella. By the way, that's

56:12

the only movie, Cats, that my

56:15

husband has ever walked out on.

56:17

Oh, really? Yeah. It's like 1

56:20

p.m. showing. And he knows what

56:22

it's about, but like five minutes

56:24

in. They're going, Jelico, Cazzo, Jelico.

56:27

My husband stands up and goes,

56:29

I can't anymore. There's children. Remember

56:32

that Fox. News movie bombshell or

56:34

something remember yeah, he went to

56:36

go watch that instead Yeah, anyway,

56:39

I walked out of one Musical

56:41

in my life and it's I'm

56:43

actually gonna admit this for the

56:46

first time. I do think it's

56:48

damning It was a West End

56:51

production of rent Oh Just walked

56:53

right out. I'm sorry I'm sorry,

56:55

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's been

56:58

a long time. Do we have

57:00

to pretend it's good? Someone's clapping,

57:02

someone's clapping. Wait, why? Because, okay.

57:05

We're finally ready to talk about

57:07

it. Wow, look at what you

57:10

started. Did not see it. Never

57:12

saw it. It was your first

57:14

time watching it and you were

57:17

like, this plot sucks kind of

57:19

thing? I can't remember. I was

57:22

20, I was 20, I think

57:24

it was 20 years old. Sure.

57:26

I could have. Next up. Speaking

57:29

of Broadway, New York Post critic

57:31

Johnny Olenski wrote a recent column

57:33

complaining about the $921 ticket price

57:36

for Denzel Washington's Broadway play. The

57:38

show then took away his free

57:41

ticket. So he bought his own

57:43

ticket and wrote the headline, blank,

57:45

Denzel Washington's dull Broadway show isn't

57:48

worth a $921 ticket. Wow. What

57:50

is the show? I don't know,

57:53

but so he had a free

57:55

ticket that cost that much at

57:57

first. He thought the ticket price

58:00

was too high. He was going

58:02

to go review the play. They

58:04

took away his free ticket. So

58:07

he bought a ticket, went to

58:09

the show, and wrote a review

58:12

that says not worth the price.

58:14

Wow. A nine hundred and twenty

58:16

one dollar ticket. Yeah. Yeah. I

58:19

mean it wouldn't be worth the

58:21

price after just a hundred twenty

58:23

any anything right any show but

58:26

anyway. Do you know this? It's

58:28

Shakespeare. Shall we say it? It's

58:31

a fellow. Oh. And I think

58:33

it's with Jake Joan Hall and

58:35

Denzel Washington in a fellow and

58:38

it's nine hundred and twenty one

58:40

dollars. That's right. You could either

58:43

get an iPad. What kind of

58:45

animal was it? Was it a

58:47

sheep? A sheep? Was it B,

58:50

a rabbit? Was it C, a

58:52

deer? Or was it D, a

58:54

D, a moose? You're like, where's

58:57

that D, a dog? A deer?

58:59

I mean, it's got to be

59:02

deer, because, you know, that's in

59:04

the movie. A deer is in

59:06

the movie. Probably. And a bunny

59:09

too, but bunny's more underwhelming, right?

59:11

Maybe, maybe. So it's a bunny.

59:14

Oh, it's a bunny. Oh, okay.

59:16

A rabbit, in fact. Sorry to...

59:18

It's a rabbit that has a

59:21

million Instagram followers. Wow. Because we

59:23

live in hell. There it is.

59:25

No way? Not to be, like,

59:28

a jealous hater, but, like, why

59:30

her? Why a million followers? Why

59:33

her? Well, if you don't get

59:35

it, you don't get it. I

59:37

guess so. I mean, look at

59:40

that rabbit, that's why. That's a

59:42

star. Oh, I didn't know she

59:44

owned a sweater. Look at that.

59:47

Look at that. Okay. Look at

59:49

that. That stance is nice. But

59:52

a lot of rabbits, no offense

59:54

again, but kind of, they look

59:56

alike, right? Am I crazy? Is

59:59

that a real rabbit or is

1:00:01

it a... It's a... No, it's

1:00:04

a real rabbit. That's a real

1:00:06

rabbit, okay. Okay, yeah, all right.

1:00:08

Cute rabbit. It did distract, you're

1:00:11

right, it did do something. Final

1:00:13

question, which one of these is

1:00:15

not a medical symptom the newly

1:00:18

returned astronauts can start recovering from

1:00:20

after spending nine months in space,

1:00:23

which is not a condition they

1:00:25

experienced upon returning to Earth? Is

1:00:27

it A, chicken legs? Is it

1:00:30

B, puffy face? Is it C?

1:00:32

a little too tall. Okay. Or

1:00:35

is it D all of the

1:00:37

above? Which would mean not of

1:00:39

the above. Wait, hold on, what

1:00:42

does it make sense? What, wait,

1:00:44

what's chicken, can I ask what

1:00:46

chicken legs is? I don't know

1:00:49

what that is. Just delicious. They've

1:00:51

come down with I think I

1:00:54

mean skinny skinny legs like they're

1:00:56

skinny legs like they weren't running

1:00:58

around up there because of their

1:01:01

space Okay, so okay. So skinny

1:01:03

legs or you come back too

1:01:05

tall or you have a puffy

1:01:08

face or all of them are

1:01:10

wrong or all of them are

1:01:13

right I'm not quite sure You're

1:01:15

not sure okay I so because

1:01:17

it starts off with which one

1:01:20

is not correct right and or

1:01:22

none of the above Hey No,

1:01:25

this is going to be a

1:01:27

recurring segment. Everybody be cool. It's

1:01:29

going to edit beautifully. No, no,

1:01:32

it's good. It's good. It's good.

1:01:34

So is it how about this?

1:01:36

We're going to need a moment

1:01:39

to talk about this. Not not

1:01:41

all of the above. We got

1:01:44

this. We got this. Oh, D.

1:01:46

Yeah, that's right. Yes, teamwork. Incredible.

1:01:48

Puppy faces, skinny legs, and they

1:01:51

increase their height by 3%. Wow,

1:01:53

that's right. Yes, teamwork. Incredible. They

1:01:56

got puppy faces, skinny legs, and

1:01:58

they increased their height by 3%.

1:02:00

Wow. That's incredible. Yeah. That seems

1:02:03

cool. Yeah. For those folks. Being

1:02:05

stuck up there for nine months?

1:02:07

Yes. Yeah. Too long. Yeah. Too

1:02:10

long. I feel like... About eight

1:02:12

months too long. Yeah. Yeah. They

1:02:15

were supposed to be up there

1:02:17

for eight days, right? Eight days.

1:02:19

Yeah. Being up there for nine

1:02:22

months. What a delay? You know,

1:02:24

sometimes you go to the airport

1:02:27

and it's like they delay the

1:02:29

flight in like 10 minute increments

1:02:31

and also you've been there all

1:02:34

day. Think about how bad a

1:02:36

mood you are at the end

1:02:38

of the end of that day.

1:02:41

Okay, no thanks. Yeah, not to

1:02:43

mention your personality, right? Like, I

1:02:46

would be cool if I could

1:02:48

the whole time work on my

1:02:50

personality too, but you probably come

1:02:53

back not as nice, right? Everybody

1:02:55

was so weird after the pandemic

1:02:57

for like a year and a

1:03:00

half. Oh, no. So yeah. They're

1:03:02

in quarantine up there. Oh, so

1:03:05

all you get is height. Okay,

1:03:07

no thank you. Yeah. Otzgo and

1:03:09

Al. Thanks for playing News It

1:03:12

or Lose. Oh, you were robbed.

1:03:14

It was close. It was close.

1:03:17

It was really close. It was

1:03:19

really close. It was a whisker.

1:03:21

A whisker on Grisabella. I am

1:03:24

upset for you. When we come

1:03:26

back, it's time for a blast

1:03:28

from the past. Hey, don't go

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the show, crooked.com/events. And we'll be

1:06:53

back at dynasty next week. So

1:06:56

if you're here in LA, come

1:06:58

to the show next week at

1:07:00

dynasty. All right. To close out

1:07:03

the show in honor of the

1:07:05

Snow White reboot, we're going to

1:07:08

share one thing we'd each like

1:07:10

to reboot. In a segment we're

1:07:12

calling, rebootelicious. Yeah, come on now.

1:07:15

Oh, come on. That's horrible Yes,

1:07:17

reboot delicious Here's that works. We're

1:07:20

gonna share one thing. We think

1:07:22

we might want to reboot I'll

1:07:24

take us away. What's something you

1:07:27

would like to reboot? MS NBC.

1:07:29

Oh Okay, just started again Well,

1:07:31

I like to animate it That's

1:07:34

fun. Like in a kind of

1:07:36

like a Pixar style or like

1:07:39

Miyazaki? Sort of like sort of

1:07:41

lyrical and magical or very very

1:07:43

like kind of just big eyes

1:07:46

and cute little faces. Lyrical and

1:07:48

magical. Oh cool. So like all

1:07:51

of a sudden Chris Hayes is

1:07:53

like a big hip-bo. Something like

1:07:55

that. Wow. All right. Let's go

1:07:58

what's something that you would like

1:08:00

to reboot? Oh, probably the brutalist.

1:08:02

Already. Already. Yes, because why wait

1:08:05

so long? Just do it again.

1:08:07

It's still in conversation. You think

1:08:10

just a new version of the

1:08:12

brutalist? With the acceptance speech. Yeah.

1:08:14

But. With the acceptance speech by

1:08:17

Asia Brody. But animated. Also animated.

1:08:19

Also animated. Also animated. I feel

1:08:21

like there's actually, I was a

1:08:24

speech writer. And I learned something

1:08:26

from that acceptance speech because I

1:08:29

just never thought about it, which

1:08:31

is. If you ever basically, either

1:08:33

in word or if you say

1:08:36

some version of, I have something

1:08:38

important to say, but you have

1:08:41

nothing, like you've actually genuinely prepared

1:08:43

nothing for what comes after that,

1:08:45

you've fucked up. Yeah, right. That's

1:08:48

a big fuck up. For sure,

1:08:50

yeah. Because it's an enforced error.

1:08:52

And then go, but wait, wait.

1:08:55

Yeah, I'm not done. Yeah. It's

1:08:57

awesome. It's actually awesome. See, it

1:09:00

was an iconic moment and I

1:09:02

feel like, you know. We could

1:09:04

do it again. Back to one,

1:09:07

everybody. Yeah. Yes. Well, those were

1:09:09

our thoughts. And you, John? Oh,

1:09:12

I want to reboot the video

1:09:14

store slash blockbuster. I think here's,

1:09:16

but here's why. Chris Hayes wrote

1:09:19

that book about attention, and it

1:09:21

was great. I listened to it

1:09:23

at 2X Speed while watching something

1:09:26

else, and just kidding. I did

1:09:28

listen to it in the car,

1:09:31

but I focused. But he talks

1:09:33

about how you used to go

1:09:35

to a video store, you would

1:09:38

drive, and you would pick one

1:09:40

thing. And you'd be like, this

1:09:43

is exciting. We're going to watch

1:09:45

this one thing. And you would

1:09:47

drive it home, and you would

1:09:50

have a night, and it would

1:09:52

be surrounded by the idea of

1:09:54

watching this one thing. And it

1:09:57

was so fun. It was so

1:09:59

exciting. A movie was a thing.

1:10:02

It was a big deal. You

1:10:04

were going to pick your movie

1:10:06

and go home and experience your

1:10:09

movie, and then drive it back.

1:10:11

And now it's like, I don't

1:10:13

know, should we watch? anything from

1:10:16

any moment ever through all of

1:10:18

recorded time nah there's nothing I

1:10:21

was thinking about what I wanted

1:10:23

to watch which is of anything

1:10:25

ever in all of recorded time

1:10:28

and I can't think of anything

1:10:30

so I guess I'll just watch

1:10:33

four episodes of the real housewives

1:10:35

of New York before I go

1:10:37

to bed yes yes and so

1:10:40

and it's and honestly Fucking, mah,

1:10:42

incredible, incredible. I love every, I

1:10:44

mean, I can't believe how good

1:10:47

it is. Oh, I'm just realizing

1:10:49

you're not rebooting it as a

1:10:52

movie. No, I'm rebooting the concept.

1:10:54

I just think we need to

1:10:56

find a way to reboot the

1:10:59

concept. Sorry, this whole time I

1:11:01

was like, oh, I'm following the

1:11:04

plot. Yeah. And I don't think

1:11:06

we need a physical video store

1:11:08

that you drive to, but we

1:11:11

do need to reboot the concept

1:11:13

of like. Everyone is going to

1:11:15

choose one special thing to experience

1:11:18

and treat it with respect and

1:11:20

pay attention to it and then

1:11:23

be done with it You know,

1:11:25

yeah, that was a good way

1:11:27

of living. Al remembers you're older.

1:11:30

Yes, yes, I I do remember

1:11:32

that Hey, yeah, I remember too.

1:11:34

Yeah, I was so young I

1:11:37

I thought I thought he was

1:11:39

talking about a movie That he

1:11:42

wanted to make No, but also

1:11:44

good idea. Yeah, so that's what

1:11:46

I want to reboot Thank you

1:11:49

Al Franken. Thank you so much

1:11:51

for being here. Oh, thank you

1:11:54

for having it We will see

1:11:56

you next week at dynasty type

1:11:58

render if you're in Wisconsin or

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in Chicago or anywhere around it

1:12:03

Come say hi to me over

1:12:05

this weekend. There are 591 dates

1:12:08

until the midterm elections. Have a

1:12:10

great night and have a great

1:12:13

weekend. Lovered

1:12:18

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