The Autopen is Mightier

The Autopen is Mightier

Released Saturday, 22nd March 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
The Autopen is Mightier

The Autopen is Mightier

The Autopen is Mightier

The Autopen is Mightier

Saturday, 22nd March 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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2:00

Welcome! Do you love it or

2:02

leave it live from Dynasty Typewriter?

2:05

Looks like school's out.

2:07

For good! Who needs an education

2:09

when you have all those chickens

2:11

to raise anyway? Tonight, on the

2:13

show, Al Franken is here

2:16

just... Yes! We'll discuss the

2:18

future of the Democratic

2:20

Party, and sadly, it's

2:22

present. Then odds Go

2:24

Akatska is back for

2:26

the ultimate battle! of

2:28

brains versus brawn versus

2:31

bullcut. I'm calling

2:33

myself bronze. Because

2:35

I do Pilates. Three times

2:37

a week. Bitches see

2:39

our right. At the end, we'll

2:42

all plead for a second

2:44

chance with some of our

2:46

first loves. But first,

2:49

let's get into it. What

2:51

a week. In

2:54

a Sunday Night Truth Social Post, Trump

2:56

wrote that he considered the pardons former

2:58

President Biden granted to the House January

3:01

6th Committee, quote, void, vacant, and of

3:03

no further force or effect because they

3:05

were signed using an auto pen, which

3:08

was based on a Heritage Foundation report

3:10

that may not be accurate. Republicans love

3:12

a job-stealing robot until it's signing a

3:14

pardon for Liz Cheney. Road

3:17

Trump in other words Joe Biden

3:19

did not sign them, but more

3:21

importantly he did not know anything

3:24

about them This is just

3:26

flatly untrue Joe Biden absolutely

3:28

knew about them. Does he still

3:30

know about them? That's a fair

3:33

question But not important Trump was

3:35

asked about the pardons aboard Air

3:37

Force one and whether he considered

3:39

other pardons in executive order signed

3:41

via auto pen to be legit

3:43

But I would say that that

3:45

now they want, because I'm sure

3:47

Biden didn't have any idea that

3:49

it was taking place. It'll be up to

3:51

the judge, who I will smear publicly every

3:54

day until that judge's wife can't walk from

3:56

her car to jazurize without her head on

3:58

a swivel. Oh, you think

4:00

that joke is sexist? The judge

4:03

is a lesbian. All right. The

4:05

doctor also a lesbian? On Friday,

4:07

Trump quietly signed a proclamation invoking

4:09

the Alien Enemies Act of 1798

4:11

for the first time since World

4:13

War II, saying that he would

4:16

use those wartime powers to quickly

4:18

deport alleged Venezuelan gang members without

4:20

a hearing. I don't love that

4:22

he's learning how to do things

4:24

quietly. Trump is the potentially rabid

4:26

bat that's loose in your house.

4:29

I'm not saying it's good if

4:31

the bat has a little bell

4:33

around its neck. I'm just saying

4:35

it's better. It's at least you

4:37

know where the bat is. It

4:39

raises a lot of questions. Who

4:42

put the bell there? But it's

4:44

better than not knowing where the

4:46

fucking bat is. On Saturday a

4:48

federal judge temporarily barred Trump from

4:50

conducting these deportations and ordered the

4:52

administration to return any planes that

4:55

had already taken off. Really the

4:57

only situation I can think of

4:59

were the pilot announcing that you're

5:01

heading back to the airport and

5:03

it's an exquisitely good news. But

5:05

the administration did not do that

5:08

and instead shared footage on Sunday

5:10

of immigrants being forced off of

5:12

airplanes and into a Salvador and

5:14

mega prison. But I guess we

5:16

should have had a clear message

5:18

on the economy, so that's on

5:21

us. Great question, Whoopi

5:23

enjoy. I'd lower prices more than

5:25

Joe Biden, that's for sure. Applause

5:27

breaks out for 10 minutes. Well.

5:30

Trump's borders are Tom Holman on

5:32

Monday claimed that the flights didn't

5:34

need to be turned back because

5:37

they were already above international waters

5:39

when the order came through. I'm

5:41

just going to flag if this

5:43

opens the door, specifically the plain

5:46

door, to extrajudicial murder over international

5:48

waters, a practice so common in

5:50

previous conflicts and under earlier fascist

5:53

regimes that it has a name,

5:55

and that name is Death Flights.

5:57

And I would have put a

6:00

sound of... there but Lazarus said

6:02

we were using them quote as

6:04

a crutch but that won't be

6:06

a problem anymore because Lazarus is

6:09

on a death flight. Homan also

6:11

said this we're not stopping I

6:13

don't care what the judges think

6:16

I don't care the left things

6:18

we're coming. In fairness to Tom

6:20

deporting people without a hearing is

6:23

the only way he can come.

6:25

The White House shared a video

6:27

of shagled Venezuelan deportees being forced

6:29

onto a plane accompanied by the

6:32

song Closing Time by Semic. Yeah.

6:34

Closing Time. You don't have to

6:36

go home, but you can't. Don't

6:39

sing along with the fascist propaganda.

6:41

I haven't seen a great song

6:43

defiled like this since the last

6:46

time I went to karaoke and

6:48

sang closing time. Semisonic in a

6:50

statement objected to the video and

6:52

said they don't condone the song

6:55

being used in this way Adding

6:57

the song is about joy and

6:59

possibilities and hope and they have

7:02

missed the point entirely And here

7:04

I thought it was a song

7:06

about getting laid after the bar

7:09

closes a learning moment for a

7:11

song So why would the White

7:13

House post such a video other

7:15

than his fascist agit prop for

7:18

internet poisoned losers sitting in front

7:20

of sticky keyboards? Breh Secretary Carolyn

7:22

Levitt, no relation, explains. We are

7:25

encouraging illegal immigrants to actively self-deport,

7:27

to maybe save themselves from being

7:29

in one of these fun videos.

7:32

Being in one of these fun

7:34

videos. In fairness, on Caroline's letterbox,

7:36

she described the movie room as

7:38

the perfect date night movie. Weird.

7:41

It's just weird tasting movies. Get

7:43

the popcorn! The deported Venezuelan immigrants

7:45

were allegedly members of the gang...

7:48

Dyeragua, but relatives of at least

7:50

four of these men insist they

7:52

weren't affiliated. Again, we learn the

7:55

dire importance of keeping an updated

7:57

LinkedIn profile. Ahead of a hearing

7:59

Friday, lawyers for five of the

8:01

immigrants say none of them received

8:04

due process and several of them

8:06

were identified as gang members to

8:08

do common tattoo designs before being

8:11

sent to a maximum security prison

8:13

in El Salvador. Head writer Halley

8:15

has a huge tattoo that says,

8:18

and this is real. Yes, and.

8:20

On the side of her ass,

8:22

that's right. She has the fucking

8:24

improv slogan, yes and, on her

8:27

ass. She belongs in a maximum

8:29

security prison, way more than those

8:31

guys. One man had a crown

8:34

memorializing his late grandmother, while another

8:36

had a rose tattoo with leaves

8:38

made of money. We used to

8:41

have due process. Now our immigration

8:43

policy amounts to what a white

8:45

Gen X divorce dad thinks being

8:47

in a gang means based on

8:50

old episodes of CSI Miami. Another

8:52

man was a Venezuelan soccer player

8:54

who protested against the country's authoritarian

8:57

president, Nicholas Maduro, last year, and

8:59

his lawyer said he was allegedly

9:01

detained and tortured by the Maduro

9:04

regime before legally seeking asylum in

9:06

the United States. His lawyer said

9:08

he was idied as a gang

9:10

member based on a tattoo of

9:13

a crown over a soccer ball,

9:15

and a soccer media post in

9:17

which he made devil horns. He

9:20

went like this. I can't believe

9:22

this is how I find out

9:24

that everybody on my 10th grade

9:27

field trip to the Liberty to

9:29

the Liberty. It's

9:33

fucking evil they could not these

9:35

people and yet even as stories

9:37

of the mistakes being made by

9:39

the administration Make the need for

9:41

due process even more clear Trump

9:43

called for the district judge James

9:46

Bozburg who issued the orders putting

9:48

a hold on the deportations to

9:50

be impeached House Republicans raised to

9:52

introduce articles of impeachment making Bozburg

9:54

at least the fifth federal judge

9:56

to face a GOP impeachment attempt

9:59

after ruling against the Trump administration

10:01

It's just an intimidation tactic Senate

10:03

to remove a judge. So it's

10:05

really just a terrifying waste of

10:07

time, like a conjuring movie, or

10:10

asking a guy in a fadora

10:12

what he's working on. That evidently

10:14

rattled Chief Justice John Roberts, who

10:16

on Tuesday issued a rare statement

10:18

rebuking Trump, saying impeachment is not

10:20

an appropriate response to disagreement concerning

10:23

a judicial decision. First they came

10:25

for the judges, and I realized,

10:27

fuck, I am a judge. Trump

10:30

was asked about the

10:33

statement on Laura Ingram.

10:35

Are there circumstances when

10:37

you would defy a

10:40

court order? Well, I

10:42

think that number one,

10:44

nobody's been through more

10:46

courts than I have.

10:49

I think nobody knows

10:51

the court's any better

10:53

than I have. I

10:56

would say the chief

10:58

judge does, but nobody

11:00

knows them better than

11:03

I have. And what

11:05

they've done to me,

11:07

I've had the worst

11:10

judges. I've had crooked

11:12

judges. Nobody understands marriage

11:14

better than I do.

11:17

Why I have more

11:19

ex-wives than anyone? Some

11:21

of the worst ex-wives

11:24

you've ever seen. But

11:26

at least one Republican is

11:28

pushing back. Here's Senator Lisa

11:30

Murkowski on why Republicans have

11:32

gone silent. That's why you've

11:34

got everybody just like Ziplip,

11:36

not saying a word, because

11:39

they're afraid they're going to

11:41

be taken down, they're going

11:43

to be primaried, they're going

11:45

to be given names in

11:47

the media. You know what?

11:49

We cannot be cowed into

11:51

not speaking up. What's this

11:53

we shit?" said Lindsay Graham,

11:55

rubbing a Trump bobble head

11:57

with mineral oil for some

11:59

reason. This

12:04

week also brought us an

12:07

amazing moment from a town

12:09

hall in Columbus, Nebraska, where

12:11

Republican Congressman Mike Flood foolishly

12:14

asked how his constituents wanted

12:16

to resolve the deficit. Taxable

12:18

today! Here's a, okay, let's

12:21

talk about this. Let's talk

12:23

about this. So your proposal

12:25

to solve this is to

12:28

tax the rich. Really

12:36

open the Mike floodgates. This is

12:38

neither here nor there. But Mike

12:40

flood looks like the kind of

12:42

guy who went out of print

12:44

around 1998. They stopped making that

12:46

addition. Was he a floor model?

12:48

Did somebody find him on eBay?

12:51

What's happening? They don't make that

12:53

guy anymore. If

12:55

you too would like to go to

12:57

a GOP town hall and shout at

13:00

Support of Democracy, I have some great

13:02

news. Vote Save America just launched a

13:04

new push to hold Republicans accountable by

13:07

connecting you with other voters who want

13:09

to show up to these town halls

13:11

or other events Republicans are too afraid

13:13

to attend in their districts. So go

13:16

to Vote Save america.com today and do

13:18

your email and zip code and get

13:20

connected with state and local organizations near

13:22

you who want to put these screams

13:25

to good use. Also, if you are

13:27

hearing this on Saturday or Sunday, I

13:29

am in Wisconsin, I am in Wisconsin

13:32

right now. And we're campaigning to elect

13:34

Susan Crawford to the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

13:36

Yes. And to stop Elon Musk from

13:38

installing a right-wing judge who will then

13:41

shift the court into a Republican majority

13:43

that will put in place in your

13:45

total ban on abortion, will do gerrymandering,

13:48

will regal elections. So go to votesaveamerica.com/Wisconsin.

13:50

Come say hi. I'll be in Madison

13:52

on Saturday all day. We'll be in

13:54

Milwaukee on Sunday. Come say hi. Come

13:57

say hi. Yeah, sure. Meanwhile the EPA

13:59

has presented White House with plans to

14:01

eliminate its scientific research arm and potentially

14:03

fire over 1,000 scientists who provide the

14:06

research on air pollution, hazardous chemicals, and

14:08

climate change. Looks like we're down to

14:10

just one experiment. Us. Yep. Donald Trump

14:13

on Thursday signed an executive order dismantling

14:15

the Department of Education, though it will

14:17

ultimately take an act of Congress to

14:19

formally close the department. It's a depressing

14:22

executive order, but look on the bright

14:24

side. In a few years, no one

14:26

will even be able to read it.

14:29

Democratic Senator Tina Smith fired back

14:32

at Trump tweeting, we know you're

14:34

just trying to wear us out,

14:36

but for the record I am

14:38

not overwhelmed, my zone is in

14:41

flooded. Mine is, said Lindsay Graham,

14:43

the bobble had nowhere to be

14:45

seen. At a party convention on

14:48

Sunday, a French official asked America

14:50

for their stuff back. We're going

14:52

to say to the Americans who

14:55

have chosen to side with the

14:57

tyrants, to the Americans who fired

14:59

researchers for demanding scientific freedom, give

15:02

us back the Statue of Liberty.

15:04

First, they took Roman Polansky and

15:06

the most annoying people from college.

15:08

And now this? Honestly, if they

15:11

also take our tired, our poor,

15:13

our huddled mass is yearning to

15:15

be free. I think they get

15:18

a deal. White House spokesperson, Carolyn

15:20

Leave it, no relation, issued this

15:22

response. Absolutely not. And my advice

15:25

to that unnamed low-level French politician

15:27

would be to remind them that

15:29

it's only because of the United

15:32

States of America that the French

15:34

are not speaking German right now.

15:37

Whoa, sick burn, sick burn. We did

15:39

save friends from the Germans. For years,

15:41

the United States resisted entering World War

15:43

II, of course, as Hitler's armies marched

15:46

across Europe and the Luftwaffe murdered tens

15:48

of thousands of civilians across Britain, to

15:50

couch Churchill into a capitulation that thankfully

15:52

never came, even as the America first

15:54

movement here in the United States, rife

15:56

with anti-Semites and fascist sympathizers, fought any

15:59

effort to lend support to our desperate

16:01

allies. while knowingly scoffing at the hysterical

16:03

notion that the war could ever reach

16:05

our shores, not unlike how President Trump

16:07

snapped at Zilinsky in the Oval Office

16:10

a few weeks ago. During the war,

16:12

everybody has problems. Even you, but you

16:14

have nice ocean and don't feel now,

16:16

but you will feel it in the

16:18

future. God bless, God bless, you will

16:20

not have the war. Don't tell us

16:23

what we're going to feel. So there's

16:25

this there's this federal judge Trump put

16:27

him on the court in 2020 and

16:29

if you look if a judge was

16:31

put on the court by Trump at

16:34

2020 He's a real fuck And he

16:36

filmed this shocking video as part of

16:38

a dissent You pull the trigger and

16:40

fire around right when that happens it

16:42

automatically will wrap the slide back, eject

16:44

the round, the spent cartridge out of

16:47

the gun, it will grab a new

16:49

round out of the magazine, put that

16:51

round into the chamber, into the barrel,

16:53

and it'll be ready to fire another

16:55

round the next time you pull the

16:58

trigger. So obviously ridiculous. It's a play

17:00

for Trump's attention and a spot on

17:02

the Supreme Court shortlist while basically making

17:04

himself an expert in the case and

17:06

antagonizing his fellow judges who ruled in

17:08

a different way in a long list

17:11

of offenses of the last few weeks.

17:13

It doesn't really rank high. But of

17:15

course it's only interesting and sensational because

17:17

it's a departure from a tradition of

17:19

respect and integrity in our judiciary by

17:22

judges for the process and for each

17:24

other. He can do this. He can

17:26

film a little video. with guns, a

17:28

judge issuing a dissent with guns in

17:30

his hand, because he lives in a

17:32

system built by people who would never

17:35

do that. They can threaten the Department

17:37

of Education, because we no longer live

17:39

in a world where volunteers had to

17:41

go door to door to door to

17:43

find children with disabilities who had never

17:46

seen the inside of a classroom. Why

17:48

are they so willing to fire scientists

17:50

at the EPA? Because it's been a

17:52

long time since the rivers caught the

17:54

rivers caught fire. Because whatever their designs

17:56

on manipulating public perceptions of the economy,

17:59

these people do not have nearly enough

18:01

respect for the value of trustworthy nonpartisan

18:03

data or fear of a world where

18:05

people are starving while the government tells

18:07

us we've never been richer. How can

18:10

someone like Lutnik who got rich in

18:12

finance take to the cameras to push

18:14

a single stock from his perch at

18:16

commerce like he did on Wednesday when

18:18

he told Fox viewers to buy Tesla

18:20

stock? If you want to learn something

18:23

on this show tonight, buy Tesla. It's

18:25

unbelievable that this guy's stock is this

18:27

cheap. It'll never be this cheap again.

18:30

I'll note that it did

18:32

go down after this. Lutnik

18:37

was able to build his

18:39

vast wealth in a society that

18:41

until just a few years ago

18:44

had strong laws and norms against

18:46

brazen public corruption just like

18:48

that. It's the same reason Republicans

18:50

can negotiate a funding bill without

18:53

Democrats while trusting that Democrats are

18:55

too responsible to allow the

18:57

government to shut down because their

19:00

little teenage political rebellion is made

19:02

possible by the responsibility and integrity

19:04

of others past and present.

19:06

Caroline Levitt, no relation, gets to

19:09

sanded that podium and make

19:11

her snide little joke because people

19:13

like her... Lost. At the 1936

19:16

Democratic Convention, FDR gave what is

19:18

to me, one of the

19:20

great political speeches ever given. It's

19:22

known for rendezvous with destiny, but

19:25

it ends when he talks about

19:27

people in other lands who

19:29

sold their heritage of freedom for

19:32

the illusion of a living. And

19:34

here we are, 90 years later,

19:36

it's happening here, and that's

19:38

what Trump is selling right now.

19:41

And his wife is not even

19:43

a lesbian. is rolling over in

19:46

his grave. He also was

19:48

rolling while he was alive. But

19:50

that was forward and back. This

19:53

is over. Speaking of Tesla, the

19:55

company has been forced to

19:57

recall most cyber trucks to repair

19:59

a piece of trim that's

20:01

prone to flying off in traffic

20:04

because it's just glued on. It's

20:06

not a cyber truck. It's a

20:09

sports-glutility vehicle. But where Elon

20:11

taketh away, Elon Givith, Sunni Williams,

20:13

and Butch Wilmore, the two astronauts

20:15

who have been on the International

20:18

Space Station for nine months,

20:20

returned safely to Earth on Tuesday

20:22

on a SpaceX vehicle, due to

20:25

a paperwork act on Megaprism. But

20:29

their lawyers are hopeful to have

20:31

them back in the US in

20:34

the next nine months tops Yeah,

20:36

that's a good joke The astronauts

20:38

were originally supposed to be in

20:40

space for an eight-day mission But

20:42

problems with their Boeing capsule left

20:44

them stranded for the better part

20:46

of a year and that's why

20:48

you always packed 266 extra pairs

20:50

of underwear And

20:53

finally, startled researchers

20:55

in New Zealand

20:57

captured footage of

20:59

an octopus riding

21:01

on the head

21:03

of a shark

21:05

and nicknamed it

21:07

shark-de-pus. I haven't

21:09

seen a romance

21:12

this unnatural since

21:14

season three of

21:16

White Lotus. Hey,

21:20

don't go anywhere. There's more of Love

21:22

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22:35

And we're back! Please welcome to

22:37

the stage. He's a man who

22:39

knows how to get a vote

22:42

and a laugh. And God knows

22:44

the Democrat scene both. Please welcome

22:46

back to the show. It's Senator

22:48

Al Franken. Thank

22:52

you for being here. Welcome back.

22:54

There he is. Thank you. Good

22:57

to see you. You're in this

22:59

new Netflix show. Yes. The residence.

23:01

The residence. It's fun. It premiered

23:04

on people's TV's today. Today. Today.

23:06

I just saw the beginning of

23:09

the first episode coming here because

23:11

I was like, oh, I'm going

23:13

to see. I want to see

23:16

what this is about. Oh, well

23:18

then you saw me. There I

23:20

was. In a hearing room. in

23:23

a hearing room as a senator

23:25

as a senator that was cool

23:28

what was that like must have

23:30

been so exciting well the sets

23:32

are amazing and the whole the

23:35

whole show is it takes place

23:37

in the sort of the residence

23:40

it's called the residence of the

23:42

White House and there's a murder

23:44

and My senator is there, I'm

23:47

the chairman of a committee to

23:49

try to determine whether it's a

23:51

suicide or a murder, and it's

23:54

a murder, but my senator wants

23:56

it to be a suicide to

23:59

cover for the, I don't know,

24:01

the White House for some reason.

24:03

Interesting. Interesting. Not really, but that

24:06

part. No, no. It's actually a

24:08

hilarious eight shows. Yeah, it's really

24:10

fun. And Kylie Minogas in it?

24:13

She sings in it. Yes, she

24:15

is in it. Did you talk

24:18

to her? I did not. I

24:20

was not in that. I was

24:22

in the hearing room at the

24:25

time. She is the star of

24:27

the show. Yeah, she's and she's

24:29

absolutely amazing. She was like the

24:32

detective, right? She is the detective,

24:34

Cordelia Cup. That's a fun name.

24:37

Yes, there's great names in this.

24:39

What's your name in it? Senator

24:41

Aaron Filkins. Oh, Filkins, that's a

24:44

fun name, Filkins. Yeah, Filkins, the

24:46

names in this are really good.

24:48

But anyway. And so no, Ouzo

24:51

is remarkable. There's a scene in

24:53

the last episode in which she

24:56

basically has a 30-minute monologue. But

24:58

don't spoil it for them. Well,

25:00

I wasn't going to. You're right.

25:03

I don't know why I doubted

25:05

you. Yeah. What was I going

25:08

to do? Say who the murderer

25:10

was. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah,

25:12

and it is a murder, not

25:15

a suicide. Right. Okay. Did he

25:17

have any flashbacks having to talk

25:19

to talk to Ted Cruz? Did

25:22

I have any? No I didn't.

25:25

You know, it was funny. The

25:27

first stage note from my character

25:29

was avuncular. So I thought of

25:32

colleagues of mine who had been

25:34

avuncular, like Lamar Alexander, Tennessee, avuncular.

25:36

Let's see, who else did I

25:38

think of? Oh, Chuck Grassley? Oh

25:41

yeah. Evuncular? You know, Orrin Hatch

25:43

died. And I went in my

25:45

email. and I searched for his

25:47

name for some unrelated reason and

25:50

it turns out that he had

25:52

emailed me before he died because

25:54

I had shown an interest in

25:56

ending daylight saving time. Well, actually

25:59

going to permanent daylight saving time,

26:01

which is something that he was

26:03

in favor of. And he had

26:05

sent me an email about it

26:08

saying that he agreed. I missed

26:10

it. Dead. But he's avuncular is

26:12

all I was getting at. He

26:15

was avuncular. Did you know him?

26:17

I did, of course. Yeah. We

26:19

served. We wrote a song together.

26:21

Oh. He used to write songs

26:24

and I had a song that

26:26

we teamed up on. Wasn't great.

26:28

Okay. Who else is a bonkular?

26:30

Or Lindsay Graham could be a

26:33

bonkular. So anyway, we're in a

26:35

constitutional crisis. Yes. Yes? Just something

26:37

we should probably get to. I

26:39

was chuckling about it backstage. But

26:42

I feel like there's this sort

26:44

of strange... There are these two

26:46

things happening side by side. On

26:48

the one hand, Trump is doing

26:51

these extraordinarily dangerous things, right? And

26:53

strange and kind of unprecedented things,

26:55

whether it's what he's doing to

26:58

our allies in Europe or what

27:00

he's now doing with these sort

27:02

of... What he's doing to Ukraine.

27:04

I mean, that is just unbelievable.

27:07

He's switched sides. When he said

27:09

to... to Zelenski, you don't have

27:11

the cards. The number one card

27:13

was us. Right. And so he's

27:16

basically saying, I'm taking away the

27:18

card. And that is just a

27:20

travesty. So, and so there's, so

27:22

I want to understand what you

27:25

think we should be doing to

27:27

respond to that because what I

27:29

often see are Democrats in what

27:31

is sort of a classic. Vice

27:34

script of dealing with a rising

27:36

authoritarian menace, which is they believe

27:38

in the institutions They're trying to

27:40

prove that those rules and institutions

27:43

can work by following them, but

27:45

they're dealing with someone that doesn't

27:47

care about the rules will use

27:50

them when they're useful, will break

27:52

them when they're not. And I

27:54

wonder if you just have a

27:56

overall sense of how you think

27:59

Democrats should be fighting back. I

28:01

think Democrats should be fighting back

28:03

by taking every chance they can

28:05

to, well, they could have, for

28:08

example, made them go over the

28:10

cliff on the... On the continuing

28:12

resolution. On the continuing resolution. So

28:14

let's, so I'm curious, that's, so

28:17

you think that was the, you

28:19

think they should have stuck together

28:21

and said, I mean that's what

28:23

Nancy Pelosi has said, others have

28:26

said that. Pelosi said that. She

28:28

always got something if you give

28:30

something up you always get something

28:33

and Schumer didn't get anything for

28:35

giving up So then what do

28:37

you make of their which is

28:39

look I think this is a

28:42

genuinely hard question though I come

28:44

down where you are What do

28:46

you like the Chuck Schumer response

28:48

to that is? They didn't negotiate

28:51

with us, but They know correctly

28:53

that a shutdown would be devastating,

28:55

that Democrats care more about the

28:57

consequences than Republicans do, and it

29:00

would accelerate what Trump and Elon

29:02

want to do to dismantle the

29:04

government anyway. They could turn that

29:06

shutdown into a win, and there

29:09

would be no off-rap. That's one

29:11

way to look at it. And

29:13

uh... Well, what's the response to

29:15

that? What's the response to that?

29:18

If the, if, like we live

29:20

in the world, I mean, this

29:22

was why I feel like, I

29:25

feel like Schumer's getting a ton

29:27

of blowback and I think it's

29:29

rightfully so that he does, but

29:31

it's in the luxury of the

29:34

world where we didn't have the

29:36

shutdown by a bunch of people

29:38

saying he should have fought harder.

29:40

But like if we were in

29:43

the shutdown right now and we

29:45

didn't know how to get out

29:47

of it, it might not be

29:49

so obvious. And I think that

29:52

by just giving him the, giving

29:54

them the votes, we didn't do

29:56

that. Yeah. How much of it

29:58

do you think is not just,

30:01

obviously in the final moments, there

30:03

was a binary choice. Do we

30:05

give them the votes or not?

30:08

How much do you think was

30:10

in the expectations and strategy leading

30:12

up to that? What do you

30:14

think they should have been doing

30:17

differently before we ever got to

30:19

that vote? Well, it should have

30:21

been negotiating and saying we'll give

30:23

you something for our votes. That's

30:26

usually how these things work. That's

30:28

what Pelosi was basically saying. You

30:31

know, she doesn't give up something

30:33

unless you get something. But they

30:35

do think that's what they were

30:37

doing, right? Like there was a

30:39

bipartisan process that Patty Murray was

30:42

running in the Senate. And I

30:44

guess the hope was if a

30:46

House bill couldn't pass unanimously among

30:48

the Republicans, then that would have

30:50

come to fruition. But once Trump

30:53

kind of... But once a House

30:55

bill did pass... They didn't think

30:57

the Republicans would pass it. Right.

30:59

So they just didn't have a,

31:01

they didn't have a plan B.

31:04

Well, that was a mistake then.

31:06

Gotta have a plan B. Gotta

31:08

have a plan B. Gotta have

31:10

a plan B. So polling basically

31:12

shows an overarching problem for Democrats

31:15

that our national brand is very

31:17

bad. There's just new data came

31:19

out. David Shore wrote about it

31:21

in the Times, talked about it

31:23

with Ezra Klein, that across a

31:26

broad swath of issues, Democrats are...

31:28

less trusted than Republicans, except on

31:30

a very few issues like climate

31:32

change, mental health, Medicare. There was

31:34

a few, very few issues, set

31:37

of issues, where we got. But

31:39

on a host of other issues,

31:41

inflation, affordability, housing, the economy, Republicans

31:43

have us beat. What do you

31:45

make about that? What do you

31:48

make of that? How did the

31:50

Democratic brand become so toxic? And

31:52

what do you think about figuring

31:54

out a way out of it?

31:56

Well, obviously on something like inflation

31:59

the peak inflation at 9.1% That

32:01

kind of killed us for it,

32:03

you know, yeah, we got hammered

32:05

for that. Yeah, we got hammered

32:07

for that. Yeah, that happen for

32:10

all kinds of reasons, one of

32:12

which was that we probably paid

32:14

out too much money during the

32:16

during COVID. They're never going to

32:18

agree with you on that. They're

32:21

like, shut up, hey, I'm getting

32:23

shut up. Well, I think I

32:25

think that, you know, summer said

32:27

that we were doing that and

32:29

I think we did. I think

32:32

we got inflation because of it.

32:34

How much do you think we

32:36

paid for having, like how much

32:38

of a price was the fact

32:40

that Joe Biden in the final

32:43

two years of his term had

32:45

become such a terrible communicator? Well,

32:47

I, you know, I, this is

32:49

an easy thing to do, but

32:51

I blame Biden for not doing

32:54

what he said he was going

32:56

to do when he ran the

32:58

first time, which he said he'd

33:00

be an interim. Transitional figure. And

33:02

he obviously was beginning to fail.

33:05

And I don't know, everybody here

33:07

experienced that first debate. And why

33:09

he didn't pull out after that?

33:11

I don't know. I don't know.

33:13

Yeah. I also wonder, I mean,

33:16

I know what you think about

33:18

this, but obviously Joe Biden, like

33:20

we paid a price for having

33:22

the bully pulpit, basically empty. But

33:24

I also wonder too that a

33:27

lot of the Democrats who might

33:29

become presidential candidates are people that

33:31

sat out and didn't challenge Joe

33:33

Biden during that time because they

33:35

thought it was too risky that

33:38

they kind of didn't want to

33:40

pick that fight. And I wonder

33:42

if you think Democrats pay a

33:44

price now for having been a

33:46

part of. Look, I think everybody

33:49

was making the best choice they

33:51

could, given that Joe Biden was

33:53

still on the race and nobody

33:55

had challenged him. But collectively the

33:57

country saw leading Democrats all get

34:00

behind someone that with their own

34:02

eyes, they thought wasn't up to

34:04

it. I don't think that they

34:06

knew that he wasn't up to

34:08

it. I don't think they saw

34:11

that until they saw at that

34:13

debate. I really thought, I remember

34:15

talking to someone who is a

34:17

very highly thought of Democratic, someone

34:19

who advises candidates and is very

34:22

good at this. saying that they

34:24

couldn't wait to that debate where

34:26

Biden would show and what he

34:28

was and kick from sass and

34:31

But then we we saw the

34:33

first three seconds of that and

34:35

then the rest of that debate

34:37

and we just were flabigasted wasn't

34:39

that a wild night remember that

34:42

watching it? You're just like this

34:44

it was really surreal you couldn't

34:46

believe what you were seeing my

34:48

wife and I were just, you

34:50

know, distraught. I mean, it was,

34:53

that was, that was the election

34:55

right there. Yeah, for me, I'll

34:57

tell you, it was different for

34:59

me. I would say I was

35:01

distraught for the first 30 minutes.

35:04

Then I was a little bit

35:06

numb. Then the last 30 minutes,

35:08

I was like, well, he's gonna,

35:10

this is not gonna work. You

35:12

know, we're gonna get a change.

35:15

It was so bad, it became

35:17

something else. came vaguely exciting. You

35:19

thought that he would drop out?

35:21

Yes, of course, because of what

35:23

we saw with our eyes. Yeah.

35:26

Yeah, it was shocking that he

35:28

didn't like the next day go.

35:30

Yeah. I'm out of here, everybody.

35:32

Remember when Jill Biden had to

35:34

come out after and say how

35:37

great a job he did. That's

35:39

how you know you have found

35:41

the right person. That's a good

35:43

marriage. I do, I mean that.

35:45

You know, that's what you want.

35:48

You want to fuck up so

35:50

bad in front of the whole

35:52

country. Then have your wife come

35:54

out and be like, honey, way

35:56

to go. You fucking did it.

35:59

You're great. Were

36:01

you on you never you're

36:03

not somebody that breaks? I

36:05

do break sometimes. Huh? How

36:07

is that S&L 50? Oh

36:09

That was great. You think

36:11

there'll be another 50? Well

36:13

it would have to I

36:15

don't think Lauren can do

36:18

another 50. Right. If that's

36:20

what you mean. Yeah, it's

36:22

amazing to do 50. It's

36:24

amazing to do 50. I

36:26

was there. I was one

36:28

of the original writers. Yeah.

36:30

Yeah. And, you know, I

36:32

remember, Tom Davis, I don't

36:34

know if you remember Tom

36:36

Davis, Franklin Davis or this

36:38

comedy team, and we were

36:40

two of the original writers.

36:42

And I remember as soon

36:44

as we got there and

36:46

met the other writers, met

36:49

some of the cast, and

36:51

I just said, Tom, this

36:53

is going to be a

36:55

big hit. And he was

36:57

going, he went, yeah, right.

36:59

And I just knew it

37:01

was going to be a

37:03

big hit, because our generation

37:05

had never had a chance

37:07

to be on TV. And

37:09

so this was, and we

37:11

had, you know, we had

37:13

Balushi, we had Acroy, we

37:15

had Gilda, we had Jane

37:17

and Lorraine, we had Chevy,

37:20

we had Garrett. That was

37:22

it. We had seven cast

37:24

members. If you think about

37:26

it now, think about how

37:28

many cast members, do you

37:30

watch the show now? Yeah,

37:32

they're like, I don't know,

37:34

17, 18 cast members and

37:36

featured players. Not since John

37:38

Belushi dined alone. Have a

37:40

genius. Something like that. Something

37:42

like that. It's a Thomas

37:44

Jefferson. Yeah. Thomas Jefferson dining

37:46

alone. Yes. Yes. I don't

37:49

like Thomas Jefferson. I'm not.

37:51

I think he's overrated. He

37:53

wrote the declaration of independence. Yeah,

37:56

and I think he gets he

37:58

definitely gets the credit for that

38:00

Yeah, for sure. Okay. I just...

38:02

Explain yourself. So, I think he's

38:05

like, temperamentally, very French, and he

38:07

had, there was a moodiness to

38:09

him, and a kind of like,

38:11

there's a kind of like, hypocritical

38:14

egotism to the whole thing, and

38:16

obviously a slaveholder. And there was

38:18

a really... Well, he, yeah, and

38:20

had a romance. Well, that's a

38:23

thing. You know, in the history

38:25

books, written by the kind of

38:27

people that wrote history books, when

38:29

they were writing those history books,

38:32

it's a romance. Also, he operated

38:34

a nailerie in which children had

38:36

to make nails all day. And

38:38

so it's like, he wasn't just

38:41

like a slave owner. He was

38:43

like, into it. Tax

44:08

Act knows you probably don't need

44:10

help filing taxes. But if you

44:12

get stuck, we have live experts

44:14

you can talk to. And who

44:16

knows? You could hit it off

44:18

and become long-term tax friends. Staying

44:20

up late at night, talking about

44:22

deductions, refunds, personal exemptions. Heck, you

44:24

could even fall in love and

44:26

create a little dependent of your

44:28

own one day. Or... they could

44:30

just answer your filing questions. Tax

44:32

Act. Let's get them over with.

44:34

Let's get them over with. Let's

44:36

get them over with. Please

44:43

welcome to the stage, Otzko Kotskah!

44:45

Yes, hello, hi! Hi, thanks for

44:47

being here. Hello, beautiful, hello, hi,

44:49

hello, an honor. Hi, how's it

44:51

going? Hey. So good to see

44:53

you. Good to see you. Good

44:56

to see you too. It's been

44:58

so long. It's in so long.

45:00

In fact, we know the last

45:02

time we saw each other. Right.

45:04

Because last time we saw each

45:06

other, I left my jacket at

45:08

your house. I left my jacket

45:10

at your jacket at your house.

45:12

Eight months ago I said, oh

45:14

I'll pick it up next week.

45:17

And then you were in like

45:19

Survivor. Yeah. No, but yes, yeah,

45:21

it was a long time ago.

45:23

Yes, you know, time. It's good

45:25

to see you. Great to see

45:27

you too. And you have a

45:29

Hulu special. Yes, I do have

45:31

a Hulu special coming out in

45:33

June. Disney Plus internationally. Yes, nice.

45:35

Maybe if I say. I saw

45:37

your last special. Thank you so

45:40

much for watching. I saw your

45:42

last special and was terrific. Thank

45:44

you. And I saw it with

45:46

my daughter and her 11 year

45:48

old son who loved it. Yeah,

45:50

that's the thing. A lot of

45:52

children, a lot of parents have

45:54

their children watch my shows. And

45:56

I'm like, I'm not, I think,

45:58

because they're like, oh, look at

46:01

her hair cut. She's so family

46:03

friendly. She's so, so wholesome. Like

46:05

six year olds will be at

46:07

my shows and I'm like, I'm

46:09

not wholesome. My family is parasite,

46:11

the movie, okay? There is mental

46:13

illness, there is, you know, undocumented

46:15

immigrants, you know, there's all kinds

46:17

of stuff going on. Magical rocks,

46:19

magical rocks, what is that? What

46:21

is magical rocks? Well, was that

46:24

in parasite? Parasite. Oh, I don't

46:26

remember that part. Was that a

46:28

calming part? Was

46:30

that a calming part in the

46:32

movie? Did you watch Parasite? I

46:34

also watch Parasite and also don't

46:36

remember that. I remember, yeah. No,

46:38

there's like a stone that has

46:41

properties. Am I crazy? That's the

46:43

part you took away from a

46:45

movie where there's murder and right

46:47

people having to run away? We're

46:49

talking the same parasite. Yeah, yeah,

46:51

yeah, yeah, no for sure. Like

46:54

the Korean family? Uh-huh, okay. Okay,

46:56

yeah, no, we all take away

46:58

from things different things, you know,

47:00

and Right, yes, yes, yes, we

47:02

it's imbued with it has properties

47:04

That's right. Hey, that's right. So

47:06

you filmed your special on November

47:09

9th Yes, I did. Yes, yeah,

47:11

and that was an interesting time

47:13

It was. It was. I said,

47:15

why me? You know, who's, it's

47:17

like, everyone was like, well, this

47:19

is, this will be good, you

47:21

know, because people will need it.

47:24

I said, yeah, people will, how

47:26

about my feelings? Who's, who's making

47:28

the comedian laugh? You're Pagliachi. Yeah,

47:30

I know, exactly. Or whatever. That's

47:32

right. Do you know this story?

47:34

Yes, not everybody. Thank you. It's

47:36

an educated... Very interactive, yes. But

47:39

doctor, I, Pagli, Pagli, Pagliaci, Pagliaci,

47:41

I never know whether to say

47:43

it correctly or like trash from

47:45

Long Island, because I want to

47:47

say Pagliaci, you know what I

47:49

mean? Like, I want to say

47:52

it, Long Island style. Pagliaci, Pagliaci.

47:54

Who are we talking about? He's

47:56

a clown. It's another subplot in

47:58

parasite. He keeps bringing up. No,

48:00

and so, yeah, but honestly, election

48:02

week, you know, so it happened

48:04

on Tuesday, right? The elections and

48:07

I was shooting my special on

48:09

Saturday. But honestly, do you remember

48:11

that week, like every day, since

48:13

after the elections, it felt like

48:15

four weeks had passed? Yeah. So

48:17

it actually worked to my advantage.

48:19

Like people had forgotten. by the

48:22

time Saturday rolled around. Or like

48:24

they were like, we do not

48:26

want to talk about it, you

48:28

know? Yeah. So I loved your

48:30

previous special. Thank you. Which was

48:32

a lot about your, I've seen,

48:35

I don't know if I'm confusing

48:37

specials, but this was special about

48:39

your mother. I was going to

48:41

say rocks or stones, magical stones.

48:43

No, yes, it's about my mother,

48:45

yes, it's about my mother, about

48:47

an intruder that came to our

48:50

house three times in the same

48:52

day. Yes, there was an intruder

48:54

that came to my house three

48:56

times in the same day. So

48:58

I made that like the three

49:00

acts and then in the end

49:02

how we ultimately like fought him

49:05

off or yeah, this is special.

49:07

How did you figure out what

49:09

to talk about in this special

49:11

if you couldn't rely on somebody

49:13

trying to break into your house?

49:15

I know, right, right? That's why

49:18

comedians are always like, oh, I

49:20

gotta go and bungee jump, or

49:22

I gotta go to Peru to

49:24

find stories. Yeah. But, um. Some

49:26

people go on reality shows, it's

49:28

crazy. Right? And I don't blame

49:30

you, you know, but sometimes, like,

49:33

your family has enough secrets. Like

49:35

I said, my family is, like,

49:37

parasite the movie and that, you

49:39

know, there was always more to

49:41

uncover. Like I found out my

49:43

grandma had technically kidnapped me. when

49:45

I was a kid, my grandma's

49:48

my best friend, she raised me,

49:50

and Ira Glass helped me figure

49:52

out the truth this year. And

49:54

so that's in my new special.

49:56

He's a good person to go

49:58

to for that kind of a

50:01

thing. He's very soothing voice. Very

50:03

soothing voice, very non-judgmental. He'll just

50:05

say it to you like, it

50:07

is, you know, with, he just,

50:09

he just, he just was like,

50:11

well, I did the research. go

50:13

and your grandma did technically kidnap

50:16

you and you could still press

50:18

charges if you want it's what

50:20

he said very helpful very calm

50:22

you know yeah you're right I'm

50:24

not going to no no no

50:26

okay you like you like you

50:28

like you like you like your

50:31

grandma she's my best friend yeah

50:33

so why would you want to

50:35

do that exactly yeah exactly and

50:37

what for for for money her

50:39

money is my money This does

50:41

pay, right? I told her. Okay.

50:43

I mean... Now, in the time

50:46

we've taken up to catch up

50:48

with Otzko, more and more news

50:50

has happened. Which is why we're

50:52

going to quiz both of you

50:54

about this week's news and the

50:56

other headlines we maybe haven't covered

50:59

yet in a segment we're calling

51:01

News It or Lose It. If

51:03

we do it a second time,

51:05

it will be. So we gotta

51:07

make a good. So it's really...

51:09

It was cheering for it, I

51:11

thought. They're just well trained. Question

51:14

number one, which famous baseball player

51:16

and civil rights icon did the

51:18

Trump administration delete from the Department

51:20

of Defense website this week adding

51:22

the letters DEAI to his pages

51:24

URL? That's a good guess because

51:26

they did remove anola gay from

51:29

the Department of Defense website because

51:31

it had the word gay in

51:33

it. Wow. It's just an oopsie.

51:35

It's so hard to keep up.

51:37

I mean, Rich can just name

51:39

anyone, right? Now, oh, well, we've

51:42

already lost. I see the sad

51:44

face. Okay, never mind. The correct

51:46

answer is Jackie Robinson. He served

51:48

in the army during World War

51:50

II. The White House subsequently reinstated

51:52

Robinson's page on Wednesday with a

51:54

Pentagon press secretary telling the press,

51:57

everyone at the Defense Department loves

51:59

Jackie Robinson. We made a mistake?

52:01

No, they didn't get. They didn't

52:03

wait. Let's not go crazy. Next

52:05

question, Governor Gavin Newsom sent what

52:07

to approximately 100 California CEOs, including

52:09

tech leaders, along with a note

52:12

that said, if you ever need

52:14

anything, I'm a phone call away.

52:16

Al, this is on you. I'm

52:18

here to... Inola Gay? No. Did

52:20

not send the... World War II

52:23

bomber, the Anola Gay, the decommissioned

52:25

World War II bomber that dropped

52:27

the bomb on Hiroshima. Yeah. To

52:30

Anola, to the, no, it was

52:32

a burner phone. It was a

52:34

burner phone. Just to say, hey, call

52:36

me, you know, he's available, I guess.

52:38

Mm-hmm. Okay. So he gave each of

52:41

them a burner phone? Yeah. Okay. I

52:43

think he was like a bit. And

52:45

I say he's like, you can reach

52:47

him, you can reach him, you

52:50

know. You know. because he cares about

52:52

business. You think you know

52:54

someone? Now, Aatska, I do have

52:56

a question for you, which is, where

52:58

are you with phones? Are you ready

53:00

to switch to a flip phone? Are

53:03

you sick of the phones? I am not

53:05

sick of the phones. I'm actually,

53:07

yeah, I'm actually kind of

53:09

pro cell phone addiction, a

53:11

little bit, because, you know,

53:13

like, what's the alternative? Your

53:16

own brain and your thoughts,

53:18

you know, and so that's...

53:20

That's terrifying and so right

53:22

because the depression commercials are

53:24

always like people are like

53:26

I'm depressed in the commercials,

53:28

but none of them have

53:30

a phone in their hand

53:32

What are these what are

53:35

these people with depression in

53:37

the commercials? What are

53:39

they doing? They're always

53:41

outdoors? We're getting lost in

53:43

a park. Yes But

53:47

flip phones, yeah, that counts.

53:49

Words, it's still distraction.

53:53

I like my phone too, although

53:55

I think it's bad for

53:57

me. Next up, during

53:59

his... One hinged trip to the

54:01

Kennedy Center this week, Donald Trump

54:04

raved about Betty Buckley's performance in

54:06

what famous Broadway musical. Oh. I'll

54:09

provide a hint. Okay. All white

54:11

cast, yeah? Probably. No, I'm just

54:13

thinking. But that's already a lot

54:16

of musicals. It's a kind of

54:18

musical where you'd make a lot

54:20

of memories. Memory. Cats? Correct. Oh,

54:23

he likes cats? He likes cats.

54:25

He is unhinged. He also has

54:28

previously talked about, we've talked about

54:30

this on the show, that he's

54:32

previously talked about Music Man, and

54:35

that's a musical about a con

54:37

artist who comes to a small

54:40

town, inspires them with a vision

54:42

of a more perfect past, and

54:44

then ultimately to try to steal

54:47

from them, but then... has a

54:49

kind of an awakening and I

54:51

don't really remember the details but

54:54

isn't that interesting that is Donald

54:56

Trump's one of his favorite musicals

54:59

is a musical about a con

55:01

artist yeah I don't think he's

55:03

very it is makes sense but

55:06

he's not really self-aware it's a

55:08

great musical though sure yeah yeah

55:11

music man or cats which one

55:13

if you had to watch one

55:15

for the rest of your life

55:18

music man music man it's got

55:20

a plot but cats is like

55:22

unexpected every time for me I've

55:25

watched it and every time I'm

55:27

still like a gas like what

55:30

what what do you mean and

55:32

so yeah I like that surprise

55:34

element of cats every time you

55:37

know okay yeah I like that

55:39

music man has some rap elements

55:41

mmm and I called that but

55:44

it's kind of what it is

55:46

yeah river city alright yeah oh

55:49

yeah he's Trump specifically talked about

55:51

uh About Buckley's turn Tony winning

55:53

turn in 1983 of Grisabella Our

55:56

fashion president what a funny thing

55:58

Grisabella is that another musical. That's

56:01

a that's a cat. Oh one

56:03

of the cats is Grisabella See

56:05

I'm a guest again. I don't

56:08

I don't remember I don't remember

56:10

Grisabella Grisella. By the way, that's

56:12

the only movie, Cats, that my

56:15

husband has ever walked out on.

56:17

Oh, really? Yeah. It's like 1

56:20

p.m. showing. And he knows what

56:22

it's about, but like five minutes

56:24

in. They're going, Jelico, Cazzo, Jelico.

56:27

My husband stands up and goes,

56:29

I can't anymore. There's children. Remember

56:32

that Fox. News movie bombshell or

56:34

something remember yeah, he went to

56:36

go watch that instead Yeah, anyway,

56:39

I walked out of one Musical

56:41

in my life and it's I'm

56:43

actually gonna admit this for the

56:46

first time. I do think it's

56:48

damning It was a West End

56:51

production of rent Oh Just walked

56:53

right out. I'm sorry I'm sorry,

56:55

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's been

56:58

a long time. Do we have

57:00

to pretend it's good? Someone's clapping,

57:02

someone's clapping. Wait, why? Because, okay.

57:05

We're finally ready to talk about

57:07

it. Wow, look at what you

57:10

started. Did not see it. Never

57:12

saw it. It was your first

57:14

time watching it and you were

57:17

like, this plot sucks kind of

57:19

thing? I can't remember. I was

57:22

20, I was 20, I think

57:24

it was 20 years old. Sure.

57:26

I could have. Next up. Speaking

57:29

of Broadway, New York Post critic

57:31

Johnny Olenski wrote a recent column

57:33

complaining about the $921 ticket price

57:36

for Denzel Washington's Broadway play. The

57:38

show then took away his free

57:41

ticket. So he bought his own

57:43

ticket and wrote the headline, blank,

57:45

Denzel Washington's dull Broadway show isn't

57:48

worth a $921 ticket. Wow. What

57:50

is the show? I don't know,

57:53

but so he had a free

57:55

ticket that cost that much at

57:57

first. He thought the ticket price

58:00

was too high. He was going

58:02

to go review the play. They

58:04

took away his free ticket. So

58:07

he bought a ticket, went to

58:09

the show, and wrote a review

58:12

that says not worth the price.

58:14

Wow. A nine hundred and twenty

58:16

one dollar ticket. Yeah. Yeah. I

58:19

mean it wouldn't be worth the

58:21

price after just a hundred twenty

58:23

any anything right any show but

58:26

anyway. Do you know this? It's

58:28

Shakespeare. Shall we say it? It's

58:31

a fellow. Oh. And I think

58:33

it's with Jake Joan Hall and

58:35

Denzel Washington in a fellow and

58:38

it's nine hundred and twenty one

58:40

dollars. That's right. You could either

58:43

get an iPad. What kind of

58:45

animal was it? Was it a

58:47

sheep? A sheep? Was it B,

58:50

a rabbit? Was it C, a

58:52

deer? Or was it D, a

58:54

D, a moose? You're like, where's

58:57

that D, a dog? A deer?

58:59

I mean, it's got to be

59:02

deer, because, you know, that's in

59:04

the movie. A deer is in

59:06

the movie. Probably. And a bunny

59:09

too, but bunny's more underwhelming, right?

59:11

Maybe, maybe. So it's a bunny.

59:14

Oh, it's a bunny. Oh, okay.

59:16

A rabbit, in fact. Sorry to...

59:18

It's a rabbit that has a

59:21

million Instagram followers. Wow. Because we

59:23

live in hell. There it is.

59:25

No way? Not to be, like,

59:28

a jealous hater, but, like, why

59:30

her? Why a million followers? Why

59:33

her? Well, if you don't get

59:35

it, you don't get it. I

59:37

guess so. I mean, look at

59:40

that rabbit, that's why. That's a

59:42

star. Oh, I didn't know she

59:44

owned a sweater. Look at that.

59:47

Look at that. Okay. Look at

59:49

that. That stance is nice. But

59:52

a lot of rabbits, no offense

59:54

again, but kind of, they look

59:56

alike, right? Am I crazy? Is

59:59

that a real rabbit or is

1:00:01

it a... It's a... No, it's

1:00:04

a real rabbit. That's a real

1:00:06

rabbit, okay. Okay, yeah, all right.

1:00:08

Cute rabbit. It did distract, you're

1:00:11

right, it did do something. Final

1:00:13

question, which one of these is

1:00:15

not a medical symptom the newly

1:00:18

returned astronauts can start recovering from

1:00:20

after spending nine months in space,

1:00:23

which is not a condition they

1:00:25

experienced upon returning to Earth? Is

1:00:27

it A, chicken legs? Is it

1:00:30

B, puffy face? Is it C?

1:00:32

a little too tall. Okay. Or

1:00:35

is it D all of the

1:00:37

above? Which would mean not of

1:00:39

the above. Wait, hold on, what

1:00:42

does it make sense? What, wait,

1:00:44

what's chicken, can I ask what

1:00:46

chicken legs is? I don't know

1:00:49

what that is. Just delicious. They've

1:00:51

come down with I think I

1:00:54

mean skinny skinny legs like they're

1:00:56

skinny legs like they weren't running

1:00:58

around up there because of their

1:01:01

space Okay, so okay. So skinny

1:01:03

legs or you come back too

1:01:05

tall or you have a puffy

1:01:08

face or all of them are

1:01:10

wrong or all of them are

1:01:13

right I'm not quite sure You're

1:01:15

not sure okay I so because

1:01:17

it starts off with which one

1:01:20

is not correct right and or

1:01:22

none of the above Hey No,

1:01:25

this is going to be a

1:01:27

recurring segment. Everybody be cool. It's

1:01:29

going to edit beautifully. No, no,

1:01:32

it's good. It's good. It's good.

1:01:34

So is it how about this?

1:01:36

We're going to need a moment

1:01:39

to talk about this. Not not

1:01:41

all of the above. We got

1:01:44

this. We got this. Oh, D.

1:01:46

Yeah, that's right. Yes, teamwork. Incredible.

1:01:48

Puppy faces, skinny legs, and they

1:01:51

increase their height by 3%. Wow,

1:01:53

that's right. Yes, teamwork. Incredible. They

1:01:56

got puppy faces, skinny legs, and

1:01:58

they increased their height by 3%.

1:02:00

Wow. That's incredible. Yeah. That seems

1:02:03

cool. Yeah. For those folks. Being

1:02:05

stuck up there for nine months?

1:02:07

Yes. Yeah. Too long. Yeah. Too

1:02:10

long. I feel like... About eight

1:02:12

months too long. Yeah. Yeah. They

1:02:15

were supposed to be up there

1:02:17

for eight days, right? Eight days.

1:02:19

Yeah. Being up there for nine

1:02:22

months. What a delay? You know,

1:02:24

sometimes you go to the airport

1:02:27

and it's like they delay the

1:02:29

flight in like 10 minute increments

1:02:31

and also you've been there all

1:02:34

day. Think about how bad a

1:02:36

mood you are at the end

1:02:38

of the end of that day.

1:02:41

Okay, no thanks. Yeah, not to

1:02:43

mention your personality, right? Like, I

1:02:46

would be cool if I could

1:02:48

the whole time work on my

1:02:50

personality too, but you probably come

1:02:53

back not as nice, right? Everybody

1:02:55

was so weird after the pandemic

1:02:57

for like a year and a

1:03:00

half. Oh, no. So yeah. They're

1:03:02

in quarantine up there. Oh, so

1:03:05

all you get is height. Okay,

1:03:07

no thank you. Yeah. Otzgo and

1:03:09

Al. Thanks for playing News It

1:03:12

or Lose. Oh, you were robbed.

1:03:14

It was close. It was close.

1:03:17

It was really close. It was

1:03:19

really close. It was a whisker.

1:03:21

A whisker on Grisabella. I am

1:03:24

upset for you. When we come

1:03:26

back, it's time for a blast

1:03:28

from the past. Hey, don't go

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1:06:34

have been at the Lincoln Theater

1:06:37

excited we're back because it's around

1:06:39

the correspondence dinner. There's VIP tickets.

1:06:41

We hang before the show. The

1:06:44

tickets are actually going very fast.

1:06:46

We haven't even shared our guest

1:06:49

lineup yet. So please come to

1:06:51

the show, crooked.com/events. And we'll be

1:06:53

back at dynasty next week. So

1:06:56

if you're here in LA, come

1:06:58

to the show next week at

1:07:00

dynasty. All right. To close out

1:07:03

the show in honor of the

1:07:05

Snow White reboot, we're going to

1:07:08

share one thing we'd each like

1:07:10

to reboot. In a segment we're

1:07:12

calling, rebootelicious. Yeah, come on now.

1:07:15

Oh, come on. That's horrible Yes,

1:07:17

reboot delicious Here's that works. We're

1:07:20

gonna share one thing. We think

1:07:22

we might want to reboot I'll

1:07:24

take us away. What's something you

1:07:27

would like to reboot? MS NBC.

1:07:29

Oh Okay, just started again Well,

1:07:31

I like to animate it That's

1:07:34

fun. Like in a kind of

1:07:36

like a Pixar style or like

1:07:39

Miyazaki? Sort of like sort of

1:07:41

lyrical and magical or very very

1:07:43

like kind of just big eyes

1:07:46

and cute little faces. Lyrical and

1:07:48

magical. Oh cool. So like all

1:07:51

of a sudden Chris Hayes is

1:07:53

like a big hip-bo. Something like

1:07:55

that. Wow. All right. Let's go

1:07:58

what's something that you would like

1:08:00

to reboot? Oh, probably the brutalist.

1:08:02

Already. Already. Yes, because why wait

1:08:05

so long? Just do it again.

1:08:07

It's still in conversation. You think

1:08:10

just a new version of the

1:08:12

brutalist? With the acceptance speech. Yeah.

1:08:14

But. With the acceptance speech by

1:08:17

Asia Brody. But animated. Also animated.

1:08:19

Also animated. Also animated. I feel

1:08:21

like there's actually, I was a

1:08:24

speech writer. And I learned something

1:08:26

from that acceptance speech because I

1:08:29

just never thought about it, which

1:08:31

is. If you ever basically, either

1:08:33

in word or if you say

1:08:36

some version of, I have something

1:08:38

important to say, but you have

1:08:41

nothing, like you've actually genuinely prepared

1:08:43

nothing for what comes after that,

1:08:45

you've fucked up. Yeah, right. That's

1:08:48

a big fuck up. For sure,

1:08:50

yeah. Because it's an enforced error.

1:08:52

And then go, but wait, wait.

1:08:55

Yeah, I'm not done. Yeah. It's

1:08:57

awesome. It's actually awesome. See, it

1:09:00

was an iconic moment and I

1:09:02

feel like, you know. We could

1:09:04

do it again. Back to one,

1:09:07

everybody. Yeah. Yes. Well, those were

1:09:09

our thoughts. And you, John? Oh,

1:09:12

I want to reboot the video

1:09:14

store slash blockbuster. I think here's,

1:09:16

but here's why. Chris Hayes wrote

1:09:19

that book about attention, and it

1:09:21

was great. I listened to it

1:09:23

at 2X Speed while watching something

1:09:26

else, and just kidding. I did

1:09:28

listen to it in the car,

1:09:31

but I focused. But he talks

1:09:33

about how you used to go

1:09:35

to a video store, you would

1:09:38

drive, and you would pick one

1:09:40

thing. And you'd be like, this

1:09:43

is exciting. We're going to watch

1:09:45

this one thing. And you would

1:09:47

drive it home, and you would

1:09:50

have a night, and it would

1:09:52

be surrounded by the idea of

1:09:54

watching this one thing. And it

1:09:57

was so fun. It was so

1:09:59

exciting. A movie was a thing.

1:10:02

It was a big deal. You

1:10:04

were going to pick your movie

1:10:06

and go home and experience your

1:10:09

movie, and then drive it back.

1:10:11

And now it's like, I don't

1:10:13

know, should we watch? anything from

1:10:16

any moment ever through all of

1:10:18

recorded time nah there's nothing I

1:10:21

was thinking about what I wanted

1:10:23

to watch which is of anything

1:10:25

ever in all of recorded time

1:10:28

and I can't think of anything

1:10:30

so I guess I'll just watch

1:10:33

four episodes of the real housewives

1:10:35

of New York before I go

1:10:37

to bed yes yes and so

1:10:40

and it's and honestly Fucking, mah,

1:10:42

incredible, incredible. I love every, I

1:10:44

mean, I can't believe how good

1:10:47

it is. Oh, I'm just realizing

1:10:49

you're not rebooting it as a

1:10:52

movie. No, I'm rebooting the concept.

1:10:54

I just think we need to

1:10:56

find a way to reboot the

1:10:59

concept. Sorry, this whole time I

1:11:01

was like, oh, I'm following the

1:11:04

plot. Yeah. And I don't think

1:11:06

we need a physical video store

1:11:08

that you drive to, but we

1:11:11

do need to reboot the concept

1:11:13

of like. Everyone is going to

1:11:15

choose one special thing to experience

1:11:18

and treat it with respect and

1:11:20

pay attention to it and then

1:11:23

be done with it You know,

1:11:25

yeah, that was a good way

1:11:27

of living. Al remembers you're older.

1:11:30

Yes, yes, I I do remember

1:11:32

that Hey, yeah, I remember too.

1:11:34

Yeah, I was so young I

1:11:37

I thought I thought he was

1:11:39

talking about a movie That he

1:11:42

wanted to make No, but also

1:11:44

good idea. Yeah, so that's what

1:11:46

I want to reboot Thank you

1:11:49

Al Franken. Thank you so much

1:11:51

for being here. Oh, thank you

1:11:54

for having it We will see

1:11:56

you next week at dynasty type

1:11:58

render if you're in Wisconsin or

1:12:01

in Chicago or anywhere around it

1:12:03

Come say hi to me over

1:12:05

this weekend. There are 591 dates

1:12:08

until the midterm elections. Have a

1:12:10

great night and have a great

1:12:13

weekend. Lovered

1:12:18

Leave It is a crooked media

1:12:21

production. It is written and produced

1:12:23

by me, John Lovett and Lee

1:12:26

Eisenberg, Kendra James is our executive

1:12:28

producer, Bill McGrath is our producer,

1:12:30

and Kennedy Hill is our associate

1:12:33

producer, Howleykeeper is our head writer,

1:12:35

Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Coughlin, Peter, Peter,

1:12:37

Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter,

1:12:40

Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Alan

1:12:42

Pierre, and Peter, and Willer, Peter,

1:12:45

Peter, Ellen, Peter, and Peter, and

1:12:47

Peter, and Willer. Thanks to our

1:12:49

digital producers David Toles, Claudia Shang,

1:12:52

Mia Kelland, Delan Villeneueva, and Rachel

1:12:54

Guyeski for filming and editing video

1:12:56

each week. Our head of production

1:12:59

is Matt DeGrote. Our head of

1:13:01

programming is Madeline Herringer. And our

1:13:04

production staff is proudly unionized with

1:13:06

the Writers Guild of America East.

1:13:56

Tax Act knows you probably don't

1:13:58

need help filing taxes. But if

1:14:01

you get stuck, we have live

1:14:03

experts you can talk to. And

1:14:05

who knows? You could hit it

1:14:08

off and become long-term tax friends.

1:14:10

Staying up late at night, talking

1:14:13

about deductions, refunds, personal exemptions. Heck,

1:14:15

you could even fall in love

1:14:17

and create a little dependent of

1:14:20

your own one day. Or they

1:14:22

could just answer your filing questions.

1:14:24

Tax Act. Let's get them. with.

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