Episode Transcript
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at rescue.org/rebuild. What
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does going higher look like for
1:01
you? For my guest today it
1:04
means sobriety, journaling, and daily practices
1:06
of self-acceptance. Big Sean is the
1:08
artist behind some of the most
1:10
noteworthy hip-hop songs of the last
1:13
two decades. But today he is
1:15
using his voice on a different
1:17
medium. This time a book fulfilling
1:20
a lifelong goal to call himself
1:22
an author. Though Big Sean is quick
1:24
to tell you, go higher five
1:26
practices for purpose, success and inner
1:28
peace. is not just a book.
1:31
It's a culmination of years of
1:33
personal and professional growth. Driven
1:35
by his own desire to empower
1:37
others, Big Sean feels a strong
1:39
calling to share insights from his
1:42
experiences. As we chat today, Big
1:44
Sean opens up about his big
1:46
break, his battle with addiction, and
1:48
the implications of becoming finally famous.
1:50
Plus, why a 20-piece nugget meal
1:52
from McDonald's still holds a special
1:54
place in his heart. I found
1:56
them to be equal parts endearing.
1:58
and full of wisdom. This conversation
2:00
marks the first for Big Sean
2:02
and me and let me tell
2:04
you his voice, not a bad
2:06
one to spend a little while
2:08
listening to. I'm out of Kotmi,
2:10
welcome to my podcast, Making Space.
2:26
First of all, I am so happy
2:29
to be sitting with you. I've never
2:31
had the opportunity and I've heard so
2:33
many awesome things about the life
2:35
you're living. That's good. And I feel
2:37
like you're in a phase and I
2:40
want to get to your whole life,
2:42
but you are in this moment right
2:44
now. Right. where you have found something
2:46
that people are seeking. It's like the
2:49
Rosetta Stone. It's like, I kind of
2:51
got it. What's the thing that you
2:53
feel like you found at this point
2:55
in your career that you didn't have
2:58
for many years prior? I think before
3:00
you're kind of chasing a
3:02
feeling, you're kind of chasing,
3:04
whatever it is you're chasing, like
3:07
for me, it was like I was
3:09
chasing like... certain records or certain
3:11
things and a lot of times I
3:13
would get those things and then I
3:15
realized that it was kind of like
3:17
a dopamine hit right so you
3:20
got to like keep doing and
3:22
keep doing it and you realize
3:24
that the feeling you're really looking
3:27
for is unconditional for real but
3:29
you're you're looking for it in
3:32
something that's conditional something that's like
3:34
database numbers base statistical statistics and
3:36
those things are great but What I
3:39
have now is just a perspective and understanding
3:41
of it all and I realize that it's
3:43
like, you know what for real? What I
3:45
really was looking for is just like purpose,
3:47
happiness, and to be inspired and to be
3:49
able to create, to be able to make
3:51
something out of nothing. That's one of the
3:53
like, come on, that's like one of the most,
3:56
there's nothing more creative than creating a
3:58
creation, you know, it's like. one of
4:00
the most beautiful things you could do.
4:02
Like the great jokes. Art piece, whether
4:05
you're making a song, whether you're making
4:07
a book, whether you're making a human
4:09
being, and whatever it is, you know?
4:11
Yeah, creating. That's what you do. It's
4:13
so funny because when you probably, I'm
4:15
trying to picture you as just a
4:18
little, little boy when you were just
4:20
young and you were thinking about like,
4:22
you know, you're doing what all the
4:24
kids do. What were you like as
4:26
a little kid? Definitely, I just had
4:29
a crazy imagination, like I could imagine
4:31
myself in any situation, you know, I
4:33
think that's why even when I first
4:35
was really getting to rap and like
4:37
music in general, because I grew up
4:40
in a Motown household, so I grew
4:42
up like Stevie Wonder always on, Diana
4:44
Ross, temptations, you know what I mean?
4:46
Like, so on and so, Marvin Gay.
4:48
That was like one of my mom's
4:50
favorite, Marvin Gay, Aisley Brothers, Aretha. So
4:53
anyway, I grew up in a house
4:55
of that music, but when I really
4:57
started getting into rap, I was like,
4:59
oh, I could do this, like, for
5:01
real. And like, at like 10 or
5:04
11 years old, I saw it already.
5:06
You know? You saw it? Yeah, I
5:08
saw it. Like, I saw me doing
5:10
that. I saw me, like, like, performing.
5:12
I felt it. And I just like,
5:15
like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
5:17
like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
5:19
like, like, Like back then I thought
5:21
that was like my life's journey and
5:23
I'm not saying it isn't but you
5:26
know it's a lot more to it
5:28
now. To be a 10 or a
5:30
11 year old kid and to know.
5:32
Like most 10 or 11 kids you
5:34
know. Yeah I know I wasn't like
5:36
skeptical but I wasn't like oh I
5:39
would love to I was like oh
5:41
this is what I'm gonna do. Okay
5:43
so somebody put in your brain. that
5:45
you could do anything right be that
5:47
you had limitless potential that abundance was
5:50
all around like somehow that was all
5:52
I got a lot of hate though
5:54
why I don't know it was a
5:56
lot of people from I think coming
5:58
from Detroit the only rapper that was
6:01
like on that level was Eminem at
6:03
the time you know what I'm saying
6:05
and I'm like, well, okay, so here's
6:07
a question then. If someone's pounding on
6:09
you saying it's not gonna happen like
6:12
that, being from Detroit, like, you're not,
6:14
it's weird as that sounds, right, because
6:16
there's Motown, there's all these incredible people,
6:18
but for some reason, I just got
6:20
told that so many times, and I'm
6:22
like, I don't get why not, like.
6:25
Well, okay, so here's a question then.
6:27
If someone's pounding on you saying it.
6:29
that person because your ego has to
6:31
be fragile you're not a hundred sure
6:33
you've never really done it right what
6:36
made you think y'all wrong and I'm
6:38
right I just looked at it as
6:40
there's got to be away got to
6:42
be I wasn't trying to prove anybody
6:44
wrong I wasn't even trying to prove
6:47
like any small doubts that I had
6:49
wrong I just was like really just
6:51
pursuing my passion and I feel I
6:53
realize in life When I just did
6:55
things out of the love of it,
6:58
like that's when things just fell into
7:00
place You know like I would? Record
7:02
music. I sold around my high school,
7:04
you know for like three to five
7:06
dollars from these CDs I pressed up
7:08
shot my album cover at Sears and
7:11
I would get in trouble for that
7:13
But then like I remember a few
7:15
years ago when I went back to
7:17
my high school and they have a
7:19
whole big shine recording studio in the
7:22
school now with like my Platinum Plaques
7:24
all on the wall and kids learning
7:26
how to record and being comfortable in
7:28
front of the mic and learning the
7:30
engineering aspect of it but like I
7:33
was just doing that you know it
7:35
was a complete 180 because I would
7:37
get in trouble for it I would
7:39
get suspended for that sometimes and then
7:41
like I would be doing like open
7:44
mics and like battle wrapping and doing
7:46
this show at the radio station every
7:48
week and it was no I wasn't
7:50
getting paid for it but I just
7:52
felt like it was my job and
7:54
I realized that when I did get
7:57
an opportunity to meet, you know, one
7:59
of my idols and rap form that
8:01
I was prepared for that moment. So,
8:03
you know, it's funny, once you get
8:05
the thing you want that you've dreamt
8:08
of... lot of things come with it
8:10
and they're kind of like golden handcuffs.
8:12
You are the one. You get people
8:14
calling your name, you're making money, all
8:16
these things that you think you want.
8:19
Right. What did you find when you
8:21
were in the middle of that whole
8:23
kind of fame money tornado? There's so
8:25
many like people that feel like they
8:27
deserve so many things from you or
8:29
that it's your responsibility. to take care
8:32
of certain people. It can be very
8:34
stressful and it could be, especially when
8:36
you're the only one from your environment
8:38
that is doing what you're doing. It's
8:40
almost like everyone, you know, it's like
8:43
if you're admitting light, it's like a
8:45
lot of the moss and the things
8:47
are gonna be coming at you and
8:49
they're like pulling at you, you know
8:51
what I'm saying? Yeah. So it was
8:54
stressful and I remember being in New
8:56
York. And I had just finished my
8:58
first tour and I remember my business
9:00
manager sitting me down and going over
9:02
my finances. It was literally right around
9:05
the corner from here where we're at
9:07
now and I was just like, dame,
9:09
my whole life just changed. When a
9:11
lot of things start to come, I
9:13
mean, you fell upon some hard times.
9:15
Like, what happened? What happened? What happened
9:18
that brought you to your knees? I
9:21
mean, I always heard the expression that
9:24
God doesn't give you what you want,
9:26
God gives you what you need, or
9:28
you make plans, and God laughs at
9:30
it, and you see, you realize that
9:33
the hard way, and, you know, you
9:35
gotta build yourself up to realize that
9:37
you're here for a reason, and sometimes
9:40
what you want and what you need
9:42
lines up, and sometimes it doesn't line
9:44
up, and that could be very hard
9:47
for you. So there have been times
9:49
where like... I overworked myself. I didn't
9:51
realize the importance of balance. I didn't
9:54
realize the importance of taking care of
9:56
myself because when you come from a
9:58
place like Detroit and when it finally
10:01
does happen for you to a certain
10:03
extent, it's like... you're scared to lose
10:05
it so you gotta keep the momentum
10:08
up you gotta like really like stay
10:10
consistent you gotta stay hot and you
10:12
overwork yourself and realize that no that's
10:14
moving out of desperation that's actually a
10:17
fear-based way of looking at it it's
10:19
like you really got to accept that
10:21
you're meant to be here like this
10:24
was meant for you this is your
10:26
life until you until you say so
10:28
you know what I mean you're the
10:31
one in control of that aspect of
10:33
it and I had I crashed out
10:35
I definitely crashed out around my third
10:38
album after my third album I was
10:40
just trying to do too much and
10:42
touring and just completely lost sight of
10:45
myself because it was just all work
10:47
I didn't factor in any me time
10:49
I didn't factor in watching anime or
10:52
doing anything that I liked I lost
10:54
touch of everything that I like to
10:56
do and I didn't even recognize myself
10:58
anymore and it was a blaringly painful
11:01
moment because I felt hopeless and I
11:03
felt like I didn't even know myself
11:05
so I had to step away from
11:08
everything for a while and I also
11:10
was like taking Adderall which I wasn't
11:12
prescribed it and it was like a
11:15
very addictive type of drug that really
11:17
gave me like a false confidence and
11:19
I realized that later on the dopamine
11:22
that your brain creates when you're on
11:24
a drug like Adderall it's false dopamine
11:26
so it shuts off the natural dopamine
11:29
your brain makes and once you cut
11:31
that out cold turkey you're like completely
11:33
depressed you're like have no inspiration and
11:35
everything is just hard and I had
11:38
to like really go through like figuring
11:40
myself out I had to redo my
11:42
foundation completely and that took me a
11:45
couple years honestly but I was able
11:47
to reconnect with myself spiritually physically Mentally,
11:49
emotionally, I got in shape, you know.
11:52
I didn't know how much everything was
11:54
so related until then like your physical
11:56
is part of your mental and your
11:59
mental is part of your spiritual and
12:01
your emotional is part of your physical
12:03
and everything is just all interconnected you
12:06
know so I had to learn that
12:08
the hard way and but I'm glad
12:10
I did because it just it really
12:13
taught me how to move more efficient
12:15
and to realize what really is important
12:17
to me and what isn't. I mean,
12:19
I think that that's a big lesson
12:22
for a guy who's as young as
12:24
you are because I think your average
12:26
person would think you've got all the
12:29
things. And like they say with most
12:31
things, I remember I interviewed Magic Johnson
12:33
and I asked him, I said, when
12:36
were you your happiest? And he said,
12:38
I'll tell you when I was my
12:40
happiest. I'm sitting on the dorm room
12:43
floor with cookie who was my girlfriend
12:45
at the time. We're scraping together nickels
12:47
and quarters. He said that day of
12:50
all the things he's done and of
12:52
all of the fame and of all
12:54
of the things he's been through That
12:57
spoke to him. That's when he wanted
12:59
for nothing Wow everything he wanted that
13:01
man magic is Michigan boy. Yeah, that
13:03
is wow. That's crazy. But it's like
13:06
so if you were to look at
13:08
your life and say to yourself this
13:10
was when I was my happiest or
13:13
maybe that day is yet to come
13:15
You know you talk about your grandma
13:17
a lot which I feel like is
13:20
very like you have such a strong
13:22
connection with her or someone who believes
13:24
but is there a moment your life
13:27
where you say aha man a moment
13:29
where I think that like where I
13:31
was my happiest happiest wow I remember
13:34
when I had my son not only
13:36
wasn't happy but it was just like
13:38
soul shifting that was like a like
13:41
It was like happy, but it was
13:43
so many emotions at once that it
13:45
was like a transformation But like when
13:47
I was at my happiest though like
13:50
just pure Yeah. Happy, let me think.
13:52
Definitely had to be when I was
13:54
like younger and I really had happy
13:57
times with like my dad and like
13:59
my mom together. Like one of the
14:01
things I really loved the most is
14:04
like a core memory is like when
14:06
we went to go see Star Wars.
14:08
I know that sounds funny but we
14:11
saw like the Empire Strikebacks and I
14:13
remember we went to McDonald's right before
14:15
and had a 20-piece nugget. And that
14:18
was like one of the happiest days
14:20
of my life and I can't explain
14:22
why though. I really can't. I don't
14:25
know why. Because it was everything. Yeah,
14:27
it just was. It was everything. You
14:29
remember the 20-piece? Yeah, it was the
14:31
first time getting a 20-piece. It was
14:34
like, and we were eating it and
14:36
we saw a Star Wars and it
14:38
was just like a perfect night. Well,
14:41
but that's very beautiful. I told him
14:43
about that actually. He did? Yeah, I
14:45
don't know if he cared that much
14:48
for it. I definitely met him. I
14:50
saw him at the Tyler Perry inviting
14:52
me to the Six AAA premiere because
14:55
my grandma was in the Six Triple
14:57
A. I read about that. That's pretty
14:59
extraordinary. Yeah, she was in the Six
15:02
Triple A and she was very modest.
15:04
Like she didn't never really talk about
15:06
what she did, but we had her
15:09
pictures all around our house, you know,
15:11
and... It was so crazy how that
15:13
movie brought all the pictures to life
15:15
and it was just like you saw
15:18
like I remember she was telling us
15:20
about how she was seasick going from
15:22
the South to Europe and there was
15:25
no one to come for her they
15:27
just handed her a bucket and she
15:29
just had to deal with it however
15:32
long that trip takes and just you
15:34
know being a real I always thought
15:36
she was incredible but my whole life
15:39
people would be like you don't agree
15:41
how important your grandma you don't understand
15:43
like the impact And I was so
15:46
happy that he told that story. That
15:48
was beautiful. It was. And I'm happy
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it's like one of the most popular
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movies on Netflix and stuff. Of course.
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17:53
an irrational fear, but like, what if
17:55
it all goes away? Do you care?
17:57
it all goes away. I used to,
17:59
I used to be, you know, afraid
18:02
of that, but I do believe fear
18:04
is just false evidence, appearing real. So
18:06
I feel like, I mean, I didn't
18:08
have much growing up, and I was
18:10
happy too, you know. I was happy,
18:13
sad, I had all the ups and
18:15
downs then too, like, so I realized
18:17
that, yeah, if I lost it all,
18:19
it wouldn't be losing at all, because
18:21
I gained so much already that. that
18:23
can't even be monetized. I gained the
18:26
experiences, the knowledge, the wisdom. You know,
18:28
even if I went back to exactly
18:30
where I started, it wouldn't be the
18:32
same place in a lot of ways.
18:34
So no, I'm not really afraid of
18:36
any of that. Go hire. I like
18:39
the name. Who came up with the
18:41
name? It's brilliant. Go hire the name
18:43
came about because at first I was
18:45
writing a book and each chapter was
18:47
like a name of one of my
18:49
songs and I have a song called
18:52
hire and then we were gonna call
18:54
the book hire and we were like
18:56
it kind of needs more of an
18:58
action to it so then it'll go
19:00
hire and then I got rid of
19:03
the idea of like naming all the
19:05
chapters but that's how the title came
19:07
about is like go hire. An author
19:09
is a big step. I heard you
19:11
talking to Jay Shady and he originally
19:13
had said like, come on, you gotta
19:16
write a book. You gotta write a
19:18
book. You got a lot to say.
19:20
Did you not think at that stage?
19:22
I don't have enough to say for
19:24
a book. Yeah, you know, because sometimes
19:26
you look at yourself and you're like,
19:29
I'm not the most successful person in
19:31
the world. I'm not the most like,
19:33
it's not like I have a degree
19:35
and you know, you think all these
19:37
like things, like things, but they're just
19:39
the doubts in your mind. Then one
19:42
of the things I asked myself is
19:44
how do you measure success? And to
19:46
me, success is a feeling. It's an
19:48
emotion. It's a happiness. And I was
19:50
like, well, maybe I am one of
19:53
the most successful people in the world
19:55
if you look at it like that
19:57
because I realize how especially it is
19:59
even to just be here, right? How
20:01
happy I am to just wake up
20:03
and get it going. even as crushing
20:06
as life can be, sometimes like if
20:08
you go based off the circumstances, you
20:10
know, one of the reasons I wanted
20:12
to write the book is because this
20:14
book, these practices that I do, it's
20:16
like putting armor on, like all of
20:19
that stuff can't affect you, it can't
20:21
penetrate you. It's like, you know, the
20:23
armor catches and you could take your
20:25
armor off at the end of the
20:27
day and life can do anything it
20:29
wants to do, but it doesn't dictate
20:32
your happiness. The whole point of the
20:34
book is just to like, you know,
20:36
help people out. I had I had
20:38
people like my grandma, I had people
20:40
like my mom who's so fire, you
20:43
know, all of these teachers around me.
20:45
I had like great family members and
20:47
a lot of people don't have that.
20:49
A lot of people didn't get those
20:51
ideas. You know, when I wanted to
20:53
be a rapper and I told my
20:56
mom and wrap for her, she was
20:58
the first person I wrapped for. She
21:00
was like, you can manifest it. You
21:02
need to read this. You need to
21:04
do that. And I didn't read the
21:06
books until I was completely desperate. And
21:09
that's what books did she want you
21:11
to read? She was like, read the
21:13
Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak
21:15
Chopra, read, asking it as given by
21:17
Esther and Jerry Hicks, read. What you
21:20
think of me is none of my
21:22
business, read the four agreements, you know,
21:24
all of these books that I read
21:26
later on, the alchemists. And I was
21:28
just like, like, like, like, like, like,
21:30
like, like, like, like, like, like, what
21:33
I needed, but there are a lot
21:35
of people, even just in my crossings,
21:37
that will never read them books that
21:39
really need that advice. So I was
21:41
really called to, you know, put a
21:43
lot of these gems in my book.
21:46
a lot of these things and just
21:48
kind of cut the fat down and
21:50
just give it straight to them. And
21:52
I think what's important in this book
21:54
is you talked about your vulnerability, you
21:56
talked about depression, you talked about suicidal
21:59
thoughts. Yeah. So it's not like you're
22:01
living this life skipping along and trying
22:03
to spew advice from the mountaintop. You've
22:05
been in the trenches. Yeah. Yeah, I
22:07
mean, I know I'm not alone in
22:10
that. I know people. people have thought
22:12
about it. Even people in my family,
22:14
you know, I've talked about my dad
22:16
having, you know, in the book he
22:18
talks about his time he wanted to
22:20
commit suicide or, you know, depression is
22:23
something like, I know my brother has
22:25
had a great deal, you know, so
22:27
many people, not even just my family,
22:29
but yeah, there was a time where
22:31
I definitely wanted to like... Off myself
22:33
I was done, you know life was
22:36
just too much for me to handle
22:38
But was that when you were in
22:40
the at the peak of your fame
22:42
and all that or was it? Yeah,
22:44
actually was it actually was you know,
22:46
and I look at some of these
22:49
people like Chester and like, you know,
22:51
Lincoln Park and Kirkobane and just I
22:53
think like how does that happen? I
22:55
see how it happens. You don't have
22:57
to be by the way, you don't
23:00
have to be in any type of
23:02
like this industry or music or yeah
23:04
whatever entertainment to feel this way like
23:06
what saved you what saved you from
23:08
those thoughts God I don't even know
23:10
what else to say just just really
23:13
going within you know what I'm saying
23:15
like digging deep like soul searching whatever
23:17
you want to call it I don't
23:19
know it's just like I had to
23:21
have faith in myself I had to
23:23
reestablish my faith Trust in my faith,
23:26
you know, in the middle of the
23:28
trust is that you and it's like
23:30
you got to trust That everything is
23:32
for the betterment of you, you know,
23:34
it's for your greater good. You feel
23:36
me? I feel you. Yeah, you got
23:39
it I mean just to be in
23:41
that moment and to be able to
23:43
do you who is your who's like
23:45
your 2am phone call? You know, but
23:47
I got a I definitely have a
23:50
handful of Friends family members and people
23:52
I love that I can call on
23:54
but I really love that time at
23:56
night to just go within and like
23:58
explore or myself, you know, because I
24:00
feel like we can get so lost
24:03
in this, the world we live in,
24:05
it's like a, especially with social media,
24:07
right, you can easily get on that
24:09
and just get lost and start comparing
24:11
your life to everyone else's life or
24:13
even start living in a whole different
24:16
reality. So it's like you really got
24:18
to put in perspective that that is
24:20
like a conditional thing and that is
24:22
a tool. And it is a beautiful
24:24
thing, by the way, to be so
24:26
interconnected digitally with everyone. But you can't
24:29
let that, like, dictate your life. You
24:31
can't let that be your, you know,
24:33
your center of attention. Do you limit
24:35
how much you're on there? If you
24:37
read comments or things like that? I
24:40
don't read comments like I used to
24:42
at all. Yeah, I kind of have
24:44
just lately, I've just realized how fast
24:46
time is going. And I've been catching
24:48
myself to just like... put my time
24:50
back into my craft. There you go.
24:53
You know what I mean? That's it.
24:55
Yeah. I was on the phone with
24:57
my brother. My dad actually had some
24:59
some heart surgery and recently and nothing
25:01
too major though but he just was
25:03
like man I just I don't know
25:06
when the future got here so fast
25:08
that's what my brother said to me.
25:10
He was like you know I'm in
25:12
my 40s he said and I was
25:14
like I don't get when that happened.
25:17
It's just all of a sudden. More
25:21
to come with Big Sean.
25:24
Stay with us. This is
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an ad for Roundup for
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lawns. It kills weeds down
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locations are independently for full
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details. Hey
37:40
guys, thank you so much for listening and
37:42
for coming on this journey with me. If
37:44
you like what you heard, and I hope
37:46
that you do, please give Making Space a
37:48
five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. And
37:50
make sure you tell your friends, follow us
37:52
on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you're listening
37:54
right now. Making Space with Hotokotby is produced
37:56
by Allison Berger. along with Kate
37:58
Saunders. Our Our associate audio
38:00
engineer is Juliana Mosturili. Our
38:02
Our audio engineers are
38:04
Lao, Bob Mallory, Bob Mark and
38:06
Mark Original music Original music
38:08
by John Barnes is our head
38:10
Barnes is our head
38:12
of audio production. Missy
38:14
Dunlop Parsons is our
38:17
executive producer. Libby Least is
38:19
is the executive vice vice
38:21
of Today of Lifestyle. Lifestyle.
38:31
This is is an Roundup for Lawns. It kills weeds
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It kills weeds down to the root
38:35
without harming your lawn. It works
38:37
on crabgrass, dandelions, clover. It works on
38:39
weeds with names you can't even
38:41
pronounce. for It's When for Lawns. When used
38:43
as directed, always read and follow
38:45
pesticide label directions.
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