0:00

This is

0:02

open mind.

0:04

Welcome to

0:06

a brand

0:08

new week.

0:10

Here is

0:12

your mantra.

0:15

I choose gratitude in every...

0:17

situation. I'm your host Jimisbeg

0:19

and I'm here to guide

0:21

you towards a more centered

0:24

and fulfilling life. Each week

0:26

I'll share personal stories and

0:28

insights that are focused on

0:30

a specific mantra. Plus journal

0:33

prompts and a weekly challenge

0:35

for all of us to

0:37

help put it into action.

0:39

Think of mantra as your

0:41

mental reset button, a way

0:44

to start your week centered as

0:46

you juggle work, school, family, and

0:48

whatever else life throws at you.

0:50

Each mantra is a simple, powerful

0:52

phrase you can repeat to refocus

0:55

your thoughts and bring a bit

0:57

of calm into your day. It

0:59

is a small tool with a

1:01

big impact, clearing your mind, lifting

1:03

your mood and rooting you in

1:05

the present. If you've listened to

1:07

my other show, the psychology of

1:10

your 20s, you'll know that I'm

1:12

all about those little nuggets of

1:14

inside that make a big impact.

1:16

So, whether you are looking for

1:19

some extra inspiration or you're trying

1:21

to ground yourself amidst the chaos,

1:23

you have come to the right

1:26

place. At Open Mind we value

1:28

your support, share your thoughts on

1:30

social media and remember to rate,

1:33

review and follow mantra to help

1:35

others discover the show. For more

1:38

exclusive content, monthly bonus episodes, early

1:40

access and ad-free listening, join our

1:42

Open Mind Plus community on Apple

1:45

podcast. This week I'll catch you

1:47

up on what's going on in

1:49

my life and then we'll dive

1:51

into today's mantra. I choose gratitude

1:53

in every situation. This... really invites

1:55

us to reframe the way that

1:57

we perceive life's ups and downs.

2:00

by focusing on

2:02

the power of

2:04

gratitude, even in

2:06

challenging moments. We'll

2:08

explore how practicing

2:10

gratitude can shift

2:12

perspectives, deep in

2:14

resilience, and bring

2:17

unexpected joy to

2:19

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that we've looked at the meaning

13:13

behind today's mantra, it's time to

13:15

get personal with you guys and

13:17

share some of my own insights

13:19

and reflections about this phrase. The

13:21

thing about gratitude is that it's

13:23

often very fleeting. You know, sometimes

13:25

it's very loud and present in

13:27

your life and other times it's

13:29

just a whisper. The times it's

13:31

loud. is normally when the good

13:33

is really at the surface level

13:35

of life and you're experiencing, we

13:37

all know it, one of those

13:39

remarkable days or months or weeks

13:42

where everything is aligned and flowing

13:44

and happy and peaceful. I had

13:46

a day like that recently where

13:48

I just had the most perfect

13:50

morning with my partner Tom. We

13:52

went swimming, I got to do

13:54

this amazing podcast event in the

13:56

afternoon, then... We saw my family

13:58

for dinner and that night I

14:00

was struck by this feeling that

14:02

this might just be the best

14:04

day ever. And it's something that

14:06

Tom actually says to himself a

14:08

lot and he says it to

14:10

me as well, like the smallest

14:12

thing will go right for him

14:15

and he will say out loud,

14:17

this is the best day ever.

14:19

It's probably, you know, definitely why

14:21

he is one of the most

14:23

easygoing chill happiest people that I

14:25

know, but... That day was so

14:27

special to me and reminded me

14:29

definitely of times when it wasn't

14:31

so easy. And I was speaking

14:33

before about a period of deep

14:35

loss for me and this happened

14:37

around the end of 2021 and

14:39

I won't go into too much

14:41

detail, but a close family member

14:43

of mine passed on. I lost

14:45

a really dear friendship at the

14:47

same time and my relationship had

14:50

also just come to an end

14:52

as well. So three huge things

14:54

and it was very dark. it

14:56

was so hard to be grateful

14:58

and that gratitude was just again

15:00

speaking in a whisper and my

15:02

dad and I have always had

15:04

this very close relationship so I

15:06

talked to him about it I

15:08

confided in him and he said

15:10

something really important and profound to

15:12

me he said gratitude doesn't want

15:14

much from you it's just asking

15:16

for you to notice it and

15:18

he lives this philosophy. He has

15:20

always kept gratitude lists and it's

15:23

very sweet because I'll be visiting

15:25

home and I'll find these notes

15:27

around the house. Sometimes it will

15:29

just be like one sentence like

15:31

completed puzzle or watched football with

15:33

family and you'll know that it's

15:35

come from his list and it's

15:37

very just so pure and I

15:39

really challenged myself during that hard

15:41

period to just let myself notice.

15:43

what life was trying to offer

15:45

me and show me the feeling

15:47

of a cool breeze, the goiness

15:49

of a chocolate chip cookie. You

15:51

know, when a dog comes up

15:53

to you and wants a pat,

15:56

my favorite... coming on when I

15:58

hit shuffle and then bigger things

16:00

began to emerge as well. The

16:02

bigger themes that I had to

16:04

be grateful for, my health, my

16:06

family, where I live, the opportunities

16:08

that I had, they started a

16:10

comeback as well until it just

16:12

felt like my life was overflowing

16:14

and I couldn't even count on

16:16

all my fingers what was great

16:18

about it. I also started a

16:20

ritual a year or so back

16:22

called The Smile File. This has

16:24

been a game changer for me.

16:26

Basically, the premise of the smile

16:29

file is that every day, or

16:31

whenever you get the opportunity, whenever

16:33

something comes up that makes you

16:35

smile, you have to add it

16:37

into a special album or folder

16:39

on your phone, called Smile File.

16:41

So if you see like a

16:43

really cute father-daughter interaction or a

16:45

really cute dog, or you meet

16:47

your friend for coffee, or you

16:49

see a gorgeous sunset, sunrise, you

16:51

have a great session at the

16:53

gym, anything that makes you smile.

16:55

you add it into this folder.

16:57

Then at the end of the

16:59

month, at the end of the

17:02

year, you have this whole catalog

17:04

of things that you felt grateful

17:06

for in the moment. And memory

17:08

is so fickle and so fleeting,

17:10

sometimes we don't fully get a

17:12

bird's eye view of everything great

17:14

in our life, but with this

17:16

smile file, it's just so immense

17:18

how many opportunities we actually have

17:20

to feel grateful. gratitude is also

17:22

really really improved relationships for me

17:24

and it has meant that I

17:26

don't take people for granted and

17:28

I tell them that. Another exercise

17:30

that I love is a gratitude

17:32

letter. So basically just finding a

17:34

way to have gratitude at the

17:37

center and remembering that it is

17:39

a choice, right, whether it is

17:41

yelling at you or whispering to

17:43

you, noticing gratitude is something that

17:45

you can do no matter what.

17:47

and it's a choice for you

17:49

to make that will, as the

17:51

science shows, greatly improve your life.

18:00

All right, let's move on to

18:02

my favorite part of the episode,

18:04

our deep thought of the day.

18:06

This quote comes from Alfon's car,

18:09

a tour around my garden, and

18:11

he says, we can complain because

18:13

rose bushes have thorns or rejoice

18:15

because thorns have roses. You know

18:18

why I love this quote? I

18:20

love this quote because it's not

18:22

asking for reality to change. The

18:24

rose bush is still the rose

18:27

bush. It has flowers. It has

18:29

flowers. It's instead asking us to

18:31

change our focus, change our perspective.

18:33

And so it brings our attention

18:36

back to this very important part

18:38

of gratitude. It's about choosing what

18:40

we see. You see the dark

18:42

stormy Saturday as a waste of

18:45

a weekend, or you can see

18:47

it as a chance to get

18:49

cozy, a chance to take a

18:51

romantic sentimental walk in the rain

18:54

to water the flowers. You see

18:56

the loss of a relationship is

18:58

devastating. or you appreciate what it

19:00

will teach you, what it may

19:03

be saving you from. Gratitude is

19:05

like a magnifying glass that lets

19:07

you really pay attention to the

19:09

small things that otherwise you would

19:12

ignore. And again, it's not asking

19:14

for reality to change, it's asking

19:16

you to change how you see

19:18

reality. Now I'd like us to

19:21

take a little micro moment of

19:23

peace to really pause and sit

19:25

with this mantra. Soon you'll hear

19:27

a custom music track created to

19:30

give you a space to absorb

19:32

today's insights and really consider how

19:34

you might bring this mantra into

19:36

your week and maybe even beyond.

19:39

And remember if this practice isn't

19:41

your style, if it doesn't resonate

19:43

with you, feel free to just

19:45

skip ahead 30 seconds. But as

19:48

you settle in, keep our mantra

19:50

in mind. I choose gratitude in

19:52

every situation. Let it guide your

19:54

thoughts as the music plays and

19:57

give yourself a moment to reflect

19:59

and connect. with what this mantra

20:01

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21:43

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22:56

I've given you a lot to think

22:58

about, but of course there is more

23:01

in store. Every week I give you

23:03

a challenge that features our mantra. It's

23:05

really about taking this to a whole

23:07

new level, right? So that you can

23:09

really... put what we talk about into

23:12

tangible, actionable steps for yourself. I also

23:14

love to do my little check-in so

23:16

that we can hold ourselves accountable. Reach

23:18

out to me at Montreal Open Mind

23:20

to let me know how the challenge

23:23

is going. And next week we'll do

23:25

a recap on how things went. I

23:27

might even share a few personal stories

23:29

with your permission, of course, to help

23:31

encourage others to participate in the challenges

23:34

in the future. And this is a

23:36

two-way street. So I'll make sure to

23:38

let you know how things are going

23:40

for me too. So let's talk about

23:42

last week's challenge. As a reminder, our

23:45

mantra last week was, I released the

23:47

need for external validation. Something that I

23:49

don't talk about a lot is that

23:51

a lot of my career is based

23:53

in the public eye. People can find

23:56

me. People can find what I'm working

23:58

on. people can listen and have opinions

24:00

about what I do and it used

24:02

to really really bother me. Anytime anything

24:05

didn't like what I'd put out, didn't

24:07

like how I was speaking, didn't like

24:09

my voice, didn't like the topics I

24:11

was choosing, my opinion on something, I

24:13

would carry it with me for days.

24:16

But this last week I did get

24:18

a really nasty comment on a video

24:20

of mine and it was one of

24:22

the first times that I was able

24:24

to just brush it off. and not

24:27

care. I blocked the account and now

24:29

I don't think I can even remember

24:31

or tell you what it said and

24:33

I think previously the version of me

24:35

that needed external validation would see the

24:38

opinion of a complete stranger and it

24:40

would ruin my day and I just

24:42

think that it's a real beautiful sign

24:44

of progress and something that hopefully you

24:46

guys are progressing more towards as well

24:49

even if your career isn't online even

24:51

if people don't comment on it all

24:53

the time. Now I want to share

24:55

some of the DMs we got from

24:57

listeners. This is my favorite part of

25:00

the show. I know I said it

25:02

was the deep thought of the date.

25:04

It's actually this. This first one comes

25:06

from Lori. What advice can you share

25:09

for me to start trusting my own

25:11

judgment when I've relied too heavily on

25:13

external validation for so long? I think

25:15

trusting your own judgment is actually really

25:17

a skill. It's something that you can

25:20

practice, that you can build. So what

25:22

I want you to start doing is

25:24

finding opportunities where you get to make

25:26

the final choice. So for example, if

25:28

you and your friend are deciding on

25:31

where to go for dinner or deciding

25:33

on a movie or deciding on plans,

25:35

I want you to start asserting your

25:37

opinion. And it doesn't have to be

25:39

rude or arrogant, just start asserting your

25:42

preference. And I think that that really

25:44

helps you believe in yourself and have

25:46

confidence that you are making your decisions

25:48

and that you can make decisions for

25:50

yourself. Another really important part of trusting

25:53

your own judgment is also just really

25:55

returning to that deep core of who

25:57

you are and why you like yourself.

25:59

Sometimes we don't trust our own judgment

26:01

because we don't really trust that we

26:04

trust. know who we are and we

26:06

don't believe that we are someone who

26:08

is worthy of making decisions or worthy

26:10

of being loved, respected, validated, internally. So

26:13

what I really want you to focus

26:15

on is what do you actually like

26:17

about yourself? What do you love about

26:19

yourself? What are the secret gardens within

26:21

you that other people don't know and

26:24

therefore can't appreciate but that which you

26:26

get to appreciate yourself? This next question

26:28

comes from Jordan. What's the difference between

26:30

seeking healthy feedback and craving craving validation?

26:32

How can I tell them apart? How

26:35

you can tell them apart, I really

26:37

think is whether it's a need or

26:39

whether it's a bonus. So craving validation

26:41

is something that you need. It's a

26:43

necessity to you. You can't go without

26:46

it. You can't act without someone else

26:48

telling you that's a good decision. You

26:50

can't dress a certain way without knowing

26:52

someone else already likes your outfit. You

26:54

can't be proud of who you are

26:57

without someone else saying they're proud of

26:59

you too. So it's a need. It's

27:01

something that you really, really crave and

27:03

desire. Feedback is something that is helpful,

27:05

but which is not. entirely necessary or

27:08

defining. So it's something that you are

27:10

happy to accept and that you would

27:12

enjoy receiving, but you don't need it

27:14

necessarily to know who you are. So

27:17

that's really how I distinguish them in

27:19

my brain. Thank you so much for

27:21

your DMs. Remember that we are always

27:23

here and ready to hear from you,

27:25

questions, comments, queries. Feel free to reach

27:28

out. Now

27:35

it's time for this week's challenge

27:37

which is a gratitude journal every

27:39

day this week. Take a moment

27:41

to write down three things that

27:43

you are grateful for, big or

27:45

small. It could be as simple

27:47

as a really nice message from

27:49

a friend or waking up before

27:52

your alarm or having two seats

27:54

on the train, two seats on

27:56

the bus, a really good cup

27:58

of coffee. Small is important here.

28:00

And you can really do it

28:02

any time of the day. But

28:04

make sure that it's somewhere that

28:06

fits well into your routine. Personally,

28:08

I really like to do it

28:11

before bed. One of my really

28:13

good friends, Zoe, she has had

28:15

a gratitude journal for a decade

28:17

and she does it religiously before

28:19

bed every single night. I find

28:21

that it really helps me to

28:23

wind down. I'm not as diligent

28:25

as she is. Sometimes I forget.

28:27

Sometimes I skip it. But just

28:30

make sure that... you know, sometimes

28:32

most days your last thoughts about

28:34

your day are the positive ones.

28:36

By doing this gratitude journal practice

28:38

and really actively focusing on gratitude

28:40

and being thankful, again you train

28:42

your mind to find a little

28:44

nugget of good, a little silver

28:46

lining in every situation, very much

28:49

setting a positive tone for the

28:51

week ahead. Also a little bonus

28:53

challenge if this is... a mantra

28:55

you're really resonating with is to

28:57

write a gratitude letter. Make it

28:59

about someone else. So all I

29:01

want from you is just to

29:03

choose someone in your life who

29:05

is really making an impact for

29:08

you, who really loves you, cares

29:10

about you, does a lot for

29:12

you, and just write them a

29:14

really beautiful letter. Why are you

29:16

grateful for them? What do you

29:18

love most about them? You don't

29:20

even have to send it. Just

29:22

keep it safe with you as

29:25

a reminder to really appreciate what

29:27

is taking for granted. And as

29:29

a reminder, reach out to At

29:31

Mantra Open Mind to share how

29:33

this challenge is working for you.

29:35

All right, as we wrap up

29:37

this week's episode, I want to

29:39

share a few final thoughts about

29:41

this week's mantra. I choose gratitude

29:44

in every situation. This is really

29:46

what I'm taking away from this

29:48

episode. Being grateful is something that

29:50

as humans is our birthright. It

29:52

is something that we don't have

29:54

to struggle to feel when we're

29:56

young. We look around, we appreciate

29:58

beauty, we feel sensation so deeply,

30:00

gratitude is something that is... always

30:03

very close to the surface all

30:05

you have to do is notice

30:07

it. It's something that has tremendously

30:09

changed my life and I remember

30:11

when I was first really exploring

30:13

a grateful life thinking this is

30:15

ridiculous this can't change much this

30:17

is just a silly little band-aid.

30:19

Actually no it's completely transformative so

30:22

I would really really encourage you

30:24

just to try it see if

30:26

it changes anything for you and

30:28

if it does keep going with

30:30

it. as we wrap up as

30:32

well, I want to express my

30:34

deepest gratitude for you. Yes, you,

30:36

the listener, for being here, for

30:38

showing up and for really embracing

30:41

these mantras with me, your commitment

30:43

to this journey. It really is

30:45

inspiring. It's why I want to

30:47

keep doing this. And I also

30:49

want you to remember that gratitude

30:51

has power to really shift your

30:53

perspective and open up your heart

30:55

so carry it with you, try

30:57

and access it whenever you can

31:00

even if it's small. And again,

31:02

thank you so much for being

31:04

part of this space, this healing

31:06

space. I am truly grateful. Thank

31:11

you for joining mantra. An exclusive

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Mind Plus on Apple podcast. I

31:36

will share another insight for an

31:38

introspective mantra with you next Monday.

31:41

Until then, keep showing up for

31:43

yourself in your journey. I'm Gemma

31:45

Speg. See you next week. Matra

31:47

is hosted by me, Gemma Speg,

31:50

and is an open-mind original powered

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by Pave Studios. This episode was

31:54

brought to life by the mantra

31:57

team, Max Cutler, Kristen Acevedo, Ron

31:59

Shapiro. Stacey Warren Kerr, Sarah Carroll,

32:01

and Paul Liebeskind. Thank

32:04

you for listening. listening.