I Release the Need for External Validation

I Release the Need for External Validation

Released Monday, 10th February 2025
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I Release the Need for External Validation

I Release the Need for External Validation

I Release the Need for External Validation

I Release the Need for External Validation

Monday, 10th February 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
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0:00

This is open mind.

0:02

Welcome to a brand

0:04

new week. Here is

0:07

your mantra. I release

0:10

the need for

0:13

external validation. I'm

0:15

your host, Gemma Spek, and

0:17

I'm here to guide you

0:19

towards a more centered and

0:22

fulfilling life. Each week I'll

0:24

share personal stories and insights

0:26

that are focused on a

0:28

specific mantra plus journal prompts

0:31

and a weekly challenge for

0:33

all of us to help

0:35

put it into action. Think

0:37

of mantra as your mental

0:39

reset button, a way to

0:42

stay centered as you juggle,

0:44

work, school, family, and whatever else

0:46

life throws at you. Each mantra

0:48

is a simple, powerful phrase that

0:50

you can repeat to refocus your

0:52

thoughts and bring a little bit

0:54

of calm into your day. It's a

0:57

small tool with a big impact,

0:59

clearing your mind, lifting your mood,

1:01

and rooting you in the present.

1:03

If you've listened to my other

1:05

show, The Psychology of Your 20s,

1:07

you'll know that I'm all about

1:09

those little nuggets of insight that

1:11

make a big impact. So whether

1:13

you are looking for some extra

1:15

inspiration, or you're just trying to

1:17

ground yourself amidst the chaos, you

1:19

have come to the right place.

1:21

At Open Mind, we value your

1:23

support. Share your thoughts on social

1:26

media and remember to rate, review,

1:28

and follow mantra. help others

1:30

discover the show. For more

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exclusive content, monthly bonus episodes,

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early access, and ad-free listening,

1:37

join our Open Mind Plus

1:39

community on Apple podcast. This

1:41

week I'll catch you up on what's

1:44

been going on in my life,

1:46

and then we'll dive into today's

1:48

mantra I release the need for

1:50

external validation This mantra is really

1:52

about finding confidence within yourself and

1:54

really breaking free from the need

1:56

for others approval to validate what

1:58

you're doing in your life So

2:00

stick around, we'll be right

2:02

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a mission to inspire mindful. it

10:12

simply feels great it feels good

10:14

it builds our self-worth it gives

10:16

us a sense that we belong

10:18

but it is not that be all an

10:20

end-all of who we are and nor should

10:23

we allow it to be. It is probably at

10:25

this point that I should really

10:27

articulate what internal validation is as

10:30

an alternative to external validation. So

10:32

external validation takes a lot of

10:34

forms and some of them are

10:37

important. So people showing you that

10:39

they care about you, receiving an

10:41

award at work, getting a bonus

10:44

or a grade you really deserve,

10:46

being told that you have inspired

10:49

someone. Those are all important forms

10:51

of external validation. But then there

10:53

is the kind of validation

10:55

that we can't necessarily rely

10:57

on. So compliments, praise, social

11:00

media validation through likes, comments,

11:02

DMs, being publicly recognized as

11:04

successful, having accomplished something. We

11:06

really do need to strike

11:08

a healthy balance. These things

11:10

are really, really nice, but

11:12

they are not everything. So

11:15

external validation comes from the

11:17

outside, comes from beyond yourself.

11:19

Internal validation on the other

11:21

hand. comes from within and

11:23

emerges from something called yourself

11:25

concept. Self-concept is basically the

11:28

perception that you have of

11:30

yourself, whether it's a good

11:32

one or a bad one.

11:34

So internal validation, what does

11:36

that feel like? Well, it

11:38

feels like being proud of

11:40

yourself. It feels like celebrating

11:43

your own wins without needing

11:45

others to see them

11:47

as important. trusting yourself,

11:49

respecting your boundaries, speaking

11:51

positively about yourself, true

11:53

self-acceptance. Here is kind

11:55

of how I have

11:57

always pictured the balance

11:59

between External and internal validation

12:02

should make up 80 to

12:04

90% of who we believe

12:06

we are. So if we

12:08

think about validation as a

12:10

diet, right? Internal validation,

12:12

it's our whole foods, it's

12:14

our fiber, it's our nutrients,

12:17

our whole grains, our fruits,

12:19

our vegetables, it's the real

12:21

nourishing stuff. External validation

12:24

is the delicious cupcake. It's

12:26

the glass of champagne, it's

12:28

the pizza on a Friday

12:30

night. All amazing things, beautiful

12:33

things, yummy things, but you

12:35

cannot build a healthy lifestyle

12:37

or a healthy self-concept on

12:39

treats, even though they taste so good.

12:41

So the danger with exclusively

12:44

tying our self-worth to something

12:46

that exists outside of you

12:48

in your control, whether that

12:50

is other's opinions or job

12:53

performance or success, The danger

12:55

is that those elements are

12:57

actually quite fickle so they

12:59

can disappear or be shaken very

13:02

easily. Whereas when you have

13:04

a strong self-concept and a

13:06

strong internal validation system, that

13:08

is something that you are

13:11

in control of. So let's

13:13

think about validation from your

13:15

achievements as an example. So

13:18

if that is your only

13:20

source of confidence and self-worth.

13:22

What happens during those periods

13:25

where you're slowing down, when you're

13:27

burnt out, when you're not achieving

13:29

anything, because no one can be

13:31

doing that all the time? Also,

13:34

let's ask the big question, what

13:36

happens when you fail? That's something

13:38

we are all destined to

13:40

experience at some point. Let's

13:42

think about two people in this

13:45

instance. So let's call person one

13:47

Lauren. And Lauren is 27. She's

13:49

always been an overachiever. She went

13:52

from being a valedictorian, being a

13:54

merit scholar at college or university.

13:56

There she had, you know, the

13:59

perfect internships. on her resume. She

14:01

graduated into the perfect graduate job.

14:03

Then she moved up the wrecks

14:05

really quickly. You know, Lauren has

14:08

always been told that she is

14:10

a bit of a wonderkin. She

14:12

is killing it. She's pushed herself

14:15

year after year. She feeds off

14:17

praise and the praise has always

14:19

come to her. Then we have

14:21

Jasmine, person two. Jasmine is the

14:23

same as Lauren. She has everything

14:25

that Lauren has. She's also killing

14:27

it at her job. She's also

14:29

done very well in her past,

14:31

but Jasmine also focuses on small

14:33

wins in her personal life. So

14:35

the thing that she is most

14:38

proud of is her kindness towards

14:40

others and that people come to

14:42

her with their problems. She's also,

14:44

you know, really proud of the

14:46

relationship that she has with her

14:48

family and how she shows up

14:50

for them. She simply just likes

14:52

herself as a person beyond achievement

14:55

and beyond work. Neither of these

14:57

two people, Lauren or Jasmine, is

14:59

any better than the other, but

15:02

consider what happens when they

15:04

encounter a failure. For Lauren,

15:06

this is going to be

15:08

devastating because her entire self-worth

15:10

is built on something that

15:12

could crumble at any time. But

15:15

for Jasmine, her job is a really

15:17

important part of who she is. Her

15:19

achievements make her feel proud, but if

15:21

it was all to disappear, she would

15:23

still know who she is, and she

15:25

would still be able to validate those

15:27

parts of herself. The other thing that

15:30

relying too heavily on external validation does

15:32

is hinder our decision making, because we

15:34

are considering other people more than we

15:36

consider ourselves, and what would make us

15:39

happy. Think about wanting to quit your

15:41

well-paying job, your good job for something

15:43

that you are passionate about. If you

15:45

are reliant on external validation, a lot

15:48

of people are going to think that

15:50

you are making a bad decision. And

15:52

a lot of the time when you're

15:54

pursuing your passion, you are not going

15:57

to be reinforced by praise. People are not going

15:59

to be... a clap for you. So that

16:01

can really sway you. That can cause

16:03

you to stay where you are out

16:06

of fear of upsetting others. And what

16:08

they think you owe them, especially people

16:10

like family, parents, mentors, they're

16:12

going to want you to

16:15

stay on the safe, secure path,

16:17

right? Each of us has an

16:19

internal compass that hopefully we can

16:21

use to find north. And north

16:24

is really the life we truly

16:26

want. The dreams we have. The

16:28

dreams we have. the decisions we

16:30

want to make. External validation

16:32

is like a magnet that

16:35

keeps disrupting the compass. It's

16:37

pulling you away from north

16:39

and towards directions that aren't

16:41

truly yours, directions that are

16:43

set by others' expectations, opinions,

16:45

or approval, and because of

16:47

this push and pull, we

16:49

really do start to lose

16:52

faith in our own compass

16:54

with second-guessing its guidance because

16:56

it doesn't seem to be

16:58

doing its job. Instead of

17:00

really trusting the pull towards

17:02

what feels right for us, we

17:04

follow paths that look good to

17:06

others, that are lit up by

17:09

applause, praise, but which may leave

17:11

us feeling very lost, very unfulfilled.

17:13

I've seen the consequences of this

17:15

in my own life. I think

17:17

about a relationship in particular that

17:19

I stayed in for far too

17:21

long because it made my parents

17:23

happy and I didn't want to

17:25

admit that this wasn't the love

17:27

of my life and disappoint them.

17:30

I think about people I chased

17:32

when I should have let them

17:34

go because occasionally they would turn

17:36

around and give me crumbs and

17:39

validate me. I think about how

17:41

I used to say yes to

17:43

everything and overextend myself at work

17:45

because I loved it when my

17:48

bosses praised me even when I

17:50

didn't have a personal life. The

17:52

praise was feeling that space that

17:54

should have been filled by self-accomplishment

17:56

and something that was self-fulfilling. The

17:59

compass was being pulled, you

18:01

know, I couldn't tell north.

18:03

So what happens when you

18:05

release the need for external

18:07

validation? Oh my gosh,

18:09

it's just the most refreshing experience

18:12

ever. You start to trust yourself,

18:14

your instincts, your desires, your voice.

18:16

You start to do what you

18:18

want to do. It is freedom.

18:21

in the purest form you get

18:23

to redefine success on your own

18:25

terms, make choices that feel aligned

18:27

with your values, embrace who you

18:29

are without an apology, you get

18:32

to wear what you want, be

18:34

where you want to be, eat

18:36

what you feel like, do what

18:38

you want to do. I really

18:41

think that the weight of expectation

18:43

lifts and you realize that the

18:45

only person you need to impress

18:48

is yourself and it's not about

18:50

rejecting connection or feedback. It's about

18:52

knowing that your work isn't dependent

18:55

on someone else's validation. You can

18:57

really just finally breathe. All right.

18:59

I know this is a really nuanced topic,

19:01

but I hope this mantra serves

19:04

as a reminder that you don't

19:06

need anyone else's approval to be

19:09

your best self, because you already

19:11

really have everything that you

19:13

need within you. Coming up, let's

19:15

talk strategy and how we can

19:18

put into action our decision to

19:20

release the need for external validation.

19:23

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Now that we've looked at the meaning

21:01

behind today's mantra, it's time to

21:03

discuss how we can create the

21:06

space, the habits, and the mindset

21:08

to release our desire for external

21:10

validation. The first step to doing

21:12

this is really decentering the approval

21:15

of others and putting yourself at

21:17

the center. What we think about

21:19

ourselves needs to matter first. So

21:22

this also really requires building ourselves

21:24

concept beyond... external things that occur

21:26

or define us. So I want

21:28

to give you a really beautiful

21:31

exercise for getting back in touch

21:33

with what you love about yourself

21:36

and it's an exercise that focuses

21:38

on delineating between what you like

21:40

about yourself because others have told

21:43

you they're likable and what you

21:45

actually feel proud of when no

21:47

one else is around. I want

21:50

you to either write down or

21:52

make a mental list of 10

21:54

things that you like about yourself

21:56

that has nothing to do with

21:58

your achievements, your looks, or what...

22:00

presses other people. So often,

22:02

I think when we ask

22:04

to define ourselves, we characterize

22:06

ourselves in regards to our

22:08

job, our accomplishments, our role

22:10

in others' lives. I'm a

22:13

sister, I'm a partner, I'm

22:15

a girlfriend, I'm a wife,

22:17

I'm a husband. What other

22:19

people have told us we're

22:21

good at or our physical

22:23

appearance, but instead, focus on what

22:26

is entirely yours. to hold very

22:28

near and dear. For example, I

22:30

like that I am curious, even

22:33

though that might not benefit anyone

22:35

else. I like that I am

22:37

generous. I like that I get

22:40

chills when I listen to music.

22:42

I like that I notice beauty.

22:44

I like that I'm empathetic. Those

22:46

are all me. So what and who are

22:48

you? The reason this can be so

22:51

profound is that it bolsters your

22:53

ability to validate yourself on your

22:55

own by really honoring and acknowledging

22:57

your positive attribute strengths and achievements

22:59

which might not actually get the

23:01

recognition from others but which manner

23:03

to you. And the reason they

23:05

might not get the recognition from

23:07

others is because they exist in

23:09

a very private space within your

23:11

soul and your mind. This is

23:14

very similar to an exercise that

23:16

I like to call who are

23:18

you without applause. It's basically intended

23:20

to detach your sense of self from

23:22

the external validation we seek. So it's

23:24

a hypothetical exercise based on three questions.

23:26

But firstly, you need to find a

23:28

quiet space, just you, just yourself, and

23:30

give yourself five minutes to think about

23:32

a life, think about a reality, when

23:34

no one is defined by success, no

23:36

one is applauded, no one is famous,

23:38

no one is famous, no one is

23:40

famous, no one is famous, no one

23:42

is famous, no one is famous, no

23:44

one is famous, no one is famous,

23:46

no one is famous, no We are

23:48

just very much allowed to exist

23:50

in whatever form makes us

23:53

happy. Now imagine, who are

23:55

you in this life? Who have you

23:57

chosen to be? What do you love

23:59

to do? What choices would you make

24:01

if no one was watching

24:04

or commenting? What brings

24:06

you, joy, fulfillment, peace,

24:08

purely for yourself in

24:10

this reality? This

24:13

hypothetical can really act

24:15

as a guide to

24:17

make more informed decisions,

24:19

which still account for

24:21

external validation, but which

24:23

also demote it to

24:25

that 10% every so

24:27

often position. And that's

24:30

really what this mantra

24:32

is all about, making

24:34

external validation optional, not

24:36

a necessity. And finally,

24:38

finally, I really want you to

24:40

get comfortable with the idea of disappointing

24:42

people. you know, as a recovering people-plazer,

24:44

let me tell you, this is not

24:47

easy, and I am still guilty of

24:49

sometimes sacrificing my own needs for those

24:51

around me. I used to think that

24:53

it was because I was a good

24:55

person and I was a nice person

24:57

and I wanted to make them happy.

24:59

Now I realize that I think deep

25:01

down it was because I really wanted

25:04

people to like me. And I'm still

25:06

a good person, but I'm a good

25:08

person, even if I don't have to

25:10

sacrifice my boundaries. It was a very

25:12

hard pill. to swallow, but it was

25:14

true, you know, to peel back

25:16

a few layers for you as

25:18

a child. I was not very

25:20

well accepted. I wasn't well liked.

25:22

I was bullied. I felt unwanted.

25:25

And so as a survival mechanism,

25:27

I quickly realized that everyone likes

25:29

the person who said yes to

25:31

everything. Everyone likes the person who

25:33

puts them first. And I continued

25:35

to be that person throughout my

25:37

teen years, throughout my early 20s.

25:39

You needed a six AM pickup

25:41

from the airport? I was there.

25:43

You wanted to cancel our plans

25:45

last minute because your boyfriend wanted

25:47

to hang out. That's fine. I'll

25:49

forgive you. You needed me to

25:51

stay late at the office even

25:53

though it wasn't my work and

25:55

you didn't time manage. Sign me

25:57

up. I was confusing liking with

25:59

respect. and external validation with self-respect.

26:02

So here's what I want

26:04

you to start doing. I

26:06

want you to start asking

26:08

yourself, what is the cost

26:10

of saying yes? Is

26:12

people-pleasing making people happy?

26:14

Is it going to cost

26:16

you your time, your energy,

26:18

your agency, your choice, your

26:20

authenticity, your happiness, your freedom?

26:22

Well then it's not worth it in

26:24

exchange for them only liking you

26:26

because of what you can do for

26:29

them? What is the cost of saying no?

26:31

Because if it's just them not

26:33

liking you and therefore not validating

26:35

you, well if someone only likes

26:38

you because you say yes all

26:40

the time and because of what

26:42

you can do for them, that's

26:44

not a real connection or a

26:46

relationship. That is an exploitative

26:49

deal you've got there. You have

26:51

to release the need for external

26:53

validation and then you can

26:55

also release so many of

26:57

those relationships as well. I

27:06

want to show a quote that

27:08

I feel perfectly captures the heart

27:10

of this week's mantra, so here

27:12

is our deep thought of the

27:14

day. If you are ever tempted

27:16

to look for outside approval, realize

27:18

that you have compromised your integrity.

27:21

If you need a witness, be

27:23

your own. That is from Epictetus.

27:25

Let's just repeat that last part.

27:27

If you need a witness, be your

27:29

own. A big part of being human

27:31

is wanting to be seen. Think

27:33

about when you were a child

27:36

and you did a cartwheel or

27:38

a handstand in the poor. And

27:40

it didn't really feel important unless

27:42

your mum or dad had seen

27:45

it too. It's wide into us,

27:47

but as you get older, it

27:49

becomes more than handstands. It becomes

27:51

career choices. It becomes self-expression, your

27:54

sense of self, that sometimes we

27:56

need other people to approve of

27:58

and believe in. So, no way. This

28:00

is your life. This is

28:02

your happiness. And if it

28:04

feels good to you, who cares

28:06

if other people don't agree?

28:10

Now, let's take a moment to pause

28:12

and reflect on today's mantra. In a

28:15

few seconds, you'll hear a custom music

28:17

track designed to create space for you

28:19

to sit with these insights and think

28:22

about how this mantra could show up

28:24

for you and your life this week

28:26

or even longer. And of course, if

28:28

this practice isn't your style, if it

28:31

doesn't resonate with you, that's okay. You

28:33

can always just skip ahead about 30

28:35

seconds, but as you settle in. Keep

28:38

our mantra in mind. I release the

28:40

need for external validation, let it

28:42

guide your thoughts as the

28:44

music plays, and just give

28:46

yourself that moment to really

28:48

connect with what this mantra

28:50

means for you. Up

29:22

next, we are going to talk about

29:24

how to put these insights into real

29:27

action and bring this mantra to life.

29:29

I'll share some journal prompts and of

29:31

course our weekly challenge. Stick around for

29:33

more after this quick break. I've

29:38

been working with a nervous dietitian

29:40

for the last six months, and

29:43

it's been life-changing. I've lost weight,

29:45

healed my relationship with food, and

29:47

have way more energy. Working with

29:49

a dietitian online to create a

29:51

personalized nutrition plan was so easy

29:54

thanks to nourish. The best part,

29:56

I pay zero dollars out of

29:58

pocket because nourish accepts hundreds of

30:00

insurance plans. 94% of paid... Where'd

30:03

you get

30:06

those shoots?

30:09

Where'd you get those shoes? get those

30:11

shoes? Easy. they're from DSW DSW

30:13

has the exact right shoes for

30:15

whatever you're into right now. into

30:17

know, like the sneakers that

30:19

make office hours feel like hours feel

30:21

like The boots that turn grocery

30:23

turn into runways and all the

30:25

styles that show off the

30:27

many sides of you many sides of you,

30:29

from and everything in between because

30:32

you do it all in

30:34

really great shoes. Find a shoe

30:36

in really great your DSW store or

30:38

you at.com. or DS. back. Let's dive into

30:40

how you can bring this week's mantra

30:42

to life in your daily routine, starting

30:45

with a journal practice. And if you

30:47

don't have your journal with you, that

30:49

is no problem at all. Simply just

30:51

hold these questions in your mind, think

30:54

about your answers, but here are our

30:56

three prompts to help you explore and

30:58

connect with this mantra on a deeper

31:00

level. First,

31:03

when was the last

31:06

time you felt defined

31:08

by someone else's opinions?

31:10

How did that impact

31:12

your decision-making or your

31:14

emotions? Next, who or what

31:16

taught you to measure your

31:18

worth through external approval? And

31:21

how can you begin to

31:23

rewrite that narrative? And finally,

31:25

how do you show up

31:27

differently when you are not

31:30

concerned about being judged? or

31:32

seeking approval. Okay, I've given you

31:34

plenty to reflect on, but there

31:36

are still more to explore. Each

31:38

week, as the loyal listeners will

31:40

know, I'll leave you with a

31:42

challenge inspired by our mantra. It

31:44

is all about taking these ideas

31:46

to the next level, right, turning

31:48

reflection into action, so you can

31:50

make meaningful shifts in your daily

31:52

life. I also want to do

31:54

some check-ins so that we can

31:56

hold ourselves accountable. You can reach

31:58

out to me at... mantra open

32:00

mind to let me know how

32:02

the challenge is going and next

32:05

week we'll do a recap on

32:07

how things went. I might even

32:09

share a few personal stories with

32:11

your permission of course to help

32:13

encourage others to participate in the

32:15

challenge in the future and remember

32:17

this is a two-way street so

32:19

I'll keep you in the loop

32:21

and share how this journey is

32:23

also unfolding for me as well. So

32:25

let's talk about last week's challenge.

32:27

As a reminder, our mantra last

32:29

week was I am at peace

32:31

with my past, present, and future.

32:34

This mantra was really showing up

32:36

for me last week. I was

32:38

thinking so much about past versions

32:40

of me, perhaps even after doing

32:43

that episode. It was really inspiring

32:45

me and really bringing up memories

32:47

around who I was in high

32:49

school, who I was in university,

32:52

who I was in. previous relationships.

32:54

And I think that that mantra

32:56

actually came at a perfect time. For me,

32:58

it came into my mind at a perfect

33:00

time when I was juggling who it was

33:03

in the past and how to become a

33:05

better version in the future. And I think

33:07

similar themes came up for many of you

33:09

as well. So I want to share some

33:11

of the D.M.s we got from Listeners about

33:14

last week's episode. So this one's from Victoria.

33:16

How do you find peace with a part

33:18

of your past that still feels unresolved

33:21

unresolved? I think you have

33:23

to realize that sometimes time is the

33:25

resolution. How I picture it

33:27

is waves crashing over stone and

33:29

turning it into pebbles or washing

33:31

over bottles and turning them into

33:33

sea glass. Time is the thing

33:35

that really does dull the edges.

33:37

It makes things lighter. It makes

33:39

us see things differently. So if

33:41

there is still a real heaviness

33:43

with something from the past, sometimes

33:45

you've done all that you can

33:47

do and you just have to

33:49

let. time kind of take its

33:51

course. This next one is from

33:54

Jay. Is it possible to

33:56

find peace with mistakes if

33:58

they've had lasting consequences? Simple

34:00

answer, yes. Yes, I believe so.

34:03

Obviously, if the consequences are

34:05

devastating, it's going to be

34:07

hard, but you have to

34:09

find a way to give

34:11

yourself closure. I think about

34:13

people who have made huge,

34:15

terrible, sometimes life-costing mistakes, who

34:17

are forgiven and who forgive

34:19

themselves. The moment has happened,

34:21

the mistake, it's been made. Now

34:23

you really have to decide whether

34:26

you and regret want to be

34:28

friends for life. or whether it's

34:30

time to stop emotionally punishing

34:32

yourself. The way I

34:34

always think about it

34:36

would be you would

34:38

forgive a close friend, a

34:40

sibling, a loved one, if you

34:43

found out what they had done.

34:45

So if you could find it

34:47

in your heart to forgive

34:50

them for the actions

34:52

you've committed, you have

34:54

the right to forgive yourself as well.

34:56

And this is a bit of a

34:58

tough one, but this week I invite

35:01

you to practice saying no to at

35:03

least one request or invitation without over

35:05

explaining yourself or seeking approval. So it

35:07

might be an invitation to dinner that

35:09

you just really don't want to go

35:11

to. It might be someone asking you

35:13

to do something at work. Just a

35:15

simple, no, I'm sorry, I don't have

35:17

time to do that or sorry, not

35:19

today, maybe another time. is what we

35:21

are asking for here. So on your

35:23

boundaries, and reflect on how it feels

35:25

to prioritize your needs. How does it

35:28

feel to have the afternoon to yourself?

35:30

How does it feel to just be

35:32

able to focus on your own work?

35:35

And as a reminder, reach out to

35:37

AtMatra Open Mind to share how this

35:39

week's challenge is working for you. All

35:41

right, as we wrap up this

35:44

week's episode, I want to share

35:46

a few final thoughts that I

35:48

have about this mantra. My key

35:50

takeaway. And what I really hope

35:52

I've impressed on you all is

35:54

that external validation and internal validation,

35:57

they do work together. But whereas

35:59

external validation is... optional. Internal

36:01

validation is an absolute necessity. So

36:03

you really have to strike the

36:05

right balance. The balance between knowing

36:08

who you are, what you like,

36:10

what you care about, your assets,

36:12

your values, your beautiful parts of

36:15

your character and your soul, versus

36:17

what other people are impressed by.

36:19

what other people are impressed by matters

36:21

a lot less. And I know

36:23

it's something that we feel very

36:26

called to prioritize, but just consider

36:28

how maybe your life would look

36:30

different if you put it a

36:32

little bit lower down on the

36:34

ladder of what's important to you.

36:36

Your worth isn't something as well

36:38

that can be measured by likes,

36:40

by applause, or anyone else's opinion.

36:42

It is something you can carry

36:44

with you. It is steady, it

36:46

is unwavering, it is definitely not

36:48

fickle. Releasing the need for external

36:51

validation isn't about shutting out

36:53

the world. It is about

36:55

reclaiming your power and trusting

36:57

yourself to be your own

36:59

guide, trusting the compass. So tune

37:01

into your inner voice on what

37:04

feels right for you and let

37:06

that be enough. Thank

37:11

you for joining Mantra, an exclusive

37:13

Open Mind Original, powered by Pave

37:15

Studios. At Open Mind, we value

37:17

your support. Share your thoughts on

37:20

social media and remember to rate,

37:22

review, and follow mantra to help

37:24

others discover the show. For ad-free

37:26

listening and early access to Mantra,

37:29

with me, Jemis Begg, we invite

37:31

you to subscribe to Open Mind

37:33

Plus on Apple podcast. I'll share

37:36

another insightful and introspective mantra with

37:38

you next Monday. Until then. Keep

37:40

showing up for yourself and your

37:42

journey. I'm Gemma Speg. See you

37:44

next week. Matra is hosted by

37:47

me, Gemma Speg, and is

37:49

an open-mind original powered by

37:51

Pave Studios. This episode was

37:53

brought to life by the

37:55

mantra team, Max Cutler, Kristen

37:57

Acevedo, Ron Shapiro, Stacey Warren

37:59

Kerr, Sarah Carroll and Paul Leiberskin.

38:01

Thank you for listening. listening.

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