0:00

So fun to see you, Maha today. Thank you for having me. You

0:02

have written a book about some of my favorite things in the

0:04

world with the self-reliance. Yes. And I'm curious to talk about,

0:06

firstly, where did the idea of self-reliance come from? Like, just

0:08

to make it like, oh, there are rules to this, because

0:10

they say seven rules of self-reliance. I was like,

0:12

okay, self-reliance is important, and yes, we should all have some, and I

0:14

didn't know they were, and I didn't know they were, and I have

0:17

some, and I didn't know they were, and, and, and I didn't know

0:19

they were, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I didn't

0:21

know, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

0:23

and, and, and, and, and, I didn't know, and, and, and, I didn't

0:25

know, Yeah, it's a great question. First

0:27

of all, I had been, I've been

0:30

working for 30 years in strategic communications

0:32

and business development, and

0:34

my story has not been an easy one

0:36

to do what I've done over the last

0:38

30 years. And when I really wanted

0:40

to write a book for like 10

0:42

years, I wanted to write a book,

0:45

and I didn't know if I should

0:47

write it about my personal story of

0:49

growing up Muslim in America, an Egyptian

0:51

girl growing up in middle middle American,

0:53

moving up in Minnesota, moving up. Shouldn't

0:56

write about all the work I did in communications,

0:58

all the exciting things I did working with Google

1:00

and Netflix and the ruler of Dubai and what

1:02

I do with Gary V. You know, is that

1:04

going to be interesting communications book? And

1:06

I said, you know, what's the been the

1:08

thing that's been consistent in my career? Facing

1:11

setbacks, having to reinvent myself at

1:13

any age, moving to a country

1:15

and not knowing the language, no

1:18

network, no friends, having to deal

1:20

with my mom and my dad with

1:22

ALS and MS, both neurological diseases, being

1:24

a caretaker when I was 14, I

1:26

had to rely on myself. I had to like

1:29

figure out what are the decisions I

1:31

need to make, what are the things

1:33

I can do to trust myself to

1:35

make those right decisions? And I had to

1:37

rely on myself to either dig out of

1:39

a problem or to find the answers or

1:41

to believe in myself to do it. And

1:43

that's when I thought, you know what, this

1:46

is why I want to kind of reintroduce

1:48

the concept of self-reliance, rebrand,

1:50

if you will, self-reliance, because

1:52

a lot of people think it's about

1:55

being independent and not needing other

1:57

people. And my definition is very

1:59

different. me is about being valuable

2:01

to other people by being valuable to

2:03

yourself, investing in yourself, betting on yourself,

2:05

being a lifelong learner, so you know

2:07

things. And so I think if I

2:09

can be very strong as an individual,

2:12

I can be valuable to others, my

2:14

family, my community, people I work with,

2:16

and so forth. That's a very different

2:18

definition of self-reliance. What one would assume,

2:20

especially if you just go self-reliance, what

2:22

does that mean? I'll be reliant on

2:24

yourself. But you're saying, no, that's not

2:26

necessarily the complete truth. You talked about

2:28

community, and that I think is so,

2:30

so important to mention, expand on that

2:32

idea of being able to be... helpful

2:34

to others by being helpful to yourself.

2:36

Yeah, so one of the rules of

2:38

self-reliance is to be a value creator,

2:41

create value for other people. Like that

2:43

is a secret sauce. Like if you

2:45

can practice that. Can I ask the

2:47

question before you go into creating value

2:49

for others? What does value mean? Yeah,

2:51

value means it's something that's important to

2:53

the other person, not what you define

2:55

as valuable. So let's say for example,

2:57

we meet and I need to be

2:59

an attentive listener. What do. like to

3:01

achieve? What's a network or relationship that

3:03

might be important to you? So I

3:05

want to rely on myself to bring

3:07

value to you. Like I feel like

3:10

I can bring something to my relationship

3:12

with you, whether it's an introduction, whether

3:14

it's a skill, a talent, experience. So

3:16

when I think about self-reliance, I think

3:18

about having all the cards in my

3:20

hand. So I can be valuable to

3:22

my community. So I can support them.

3:24

So I can serve them. So I

3:26

can get a client. So I can

3:28

scale my business. That's what self-reliance to

3:30

me is about. It's about knowing how

3:32

to bring value to other people, because

3:34

you rely on yourself to acquire the

3:37

skills, to acquire the knowledge, and to

3:39

build the relationships you have a network.

3:41

So how do I identify what would

3:43

be valuable to the other person? We

3:45

talk to coaching community. The individuals that

3:47

are listening to it are either... coaches

3:49

want to be coaches or people who

3:51

are interested in the idea of coaching

3:53

and bring it to their life. And

3:55

often when you say something like create

3:57

value for someone else, it becomes like

3:59

this thing that I understand and I

4:01

agree, but I don't know what the

4:03

hell to do about. Discover what their

4:06

pain points are. Discover what new opportunities

4:08

they want to explore. Do you have

4:10

something in that area that you can

4:12

help them with? So being an attentive

4:14

listener, anticipating needs. anticipating their needs, like

4:16

let's say for example, you are thinking

4:18

about scaling and growing your business. I

4:20

might say, okay, I understand that might

4:22

be important to you. Let me anticipate

4:24

the needs of what markets are you

4:26

looking at? Maybe you'd like to explore

4:28

the Middle East market, maybe you'd like

4:30

to explore Europe or Latin America. Do

4:32

I know people that work in those

4:35

markets? So trying to make connections for

4:37

them either through people, through business ideas,

4:39

or through things that you have experience

4:41

in doing, or might have somebody in

4:43

your network network that does. So you're

4:45

saying become more curious about the other

4:47

person's pain. Yes. So you can see

4:49

if there's a possibility of you supporting

4:51

them when they are experiencing that pain

4:53

or that opportunity or whatever that is

4:55

that is present in their life. Is

4:57

there a value also in not just

4:59

solving problems but being able to build

5:01

a connection through stories? Yes, like I

5:04

think like helping people understand. If you

5:06

have a relationship with someone, I always

5:08

talk a lot about being a super

5:10

connector. Like, what does it mean to

5:12

introduce A to B? Let's say you

5:14

might not get any value from it

5:16

yourself, but you're making a deposit in

5:18

both of those people's trust banks, so

5:20

that maybe someday you can make a

5:22

withdrawal. Someday I might want to talk

5:24

to them about a future job opportunity,

5:26

or they might connect me to a

5:28

client that I'm looking for. Or they

5:30

may have access to a company where

5:33

I can do my coaching. and connect

5:35

A to B because I know it's

5:37

very valuable and important to them when

5:39

I have nothing to gain from it.

5:41

And that's a good thing to do.

5:43

That's an example of how you can

5:45

create value for people. What I'm hearing,

5:47

and tell me if I'm hearing, that's

5:49

right. What I'm hearing is that don't

5:51

also think short-term, think about a long-term

5:53

relationship. So you're thinking, I'm making a

5:55

deposit here, I'm making a deposit here,

5:57

I'm adding value here, I'm adding value

5:59

here, and the way contextually of that

6:02

person, of that relationship. Is there a

6:04

way you think about where and who

6:06

to keep adding value to? Or it's

6:08

like, no, whatever's present to you in

6:10

front of your eyes, just do that.

6:12

I ask this also personally for myself.

6:14

Yeah, yeah. So one of the rules

6:16

of the book is be a long-term

6:18

player. We live right now in a

6:20

society where we're like tap to pay,

6:22

we want to get out, we want

6:24

to download the whole season now, we

6:26

don't want to wait three seconds for

6:28

a video to load on social media.

6:31

You know, we want, we want access

6:33

to things now. And I think in

6:35

being self-reliant, you need to think, okay,

6:37

I need to be thinking long term.

6:39

If I'm just here to do a

6:41

transaction to get something from somebody, it

6:43

may not serve me in the long

6:45

term for my business or something I'm

6:47

looking for. So let me give you

6:49

an example. I really want to work

6:51

with this potential client. Let me think

6:53

long-term. How can I continue to make

6:55

a deposit, make a deposit, continue to

6:57

serve them? Be visible. It can be

7:00

something big or small. Sharing an article

7:02

of a topic they care about. Connecting

7:04

them. Sharing a social media post of

7:06

something. You're sharing their work to show

7:08

them you're still around. Make a long-term

7:10

deposit and be a long-term player is

7:12

about... thinking about there might be a

7:14

future business opportunity that may not come

7:16

a week from now, a month from

7:18

now, a year from now, but I'm

7:20

going to continue to have good intention

7:22

doing good business with these people because

7:24

I know that there's a long-term play

7:27

at the end of it. I've worked

7:29

for people for free. I'm 54, I

7:31

have my company for 20 years, I

7:33

don't need to work for free. But

7:35

if there's something where I think there

7:37

might be a long-term benefit of me

7:39

serving them, giving them a taste of

7:41

what I can do, because I either

7:43

want to work with them or I

7:45

want them to introduce me to somebody,

7:47

then I'll make that bet. And I

7:49

don't use my team's time. my resources

7:51

of my company and you know don't

7:53

give away the house for free but

7:56

I figure out how much am I

7:58

willing to spend from my time and

8:00

effort because I think there might be

8:02

a long-term play here that could pay

8:04

off. Wonderful. What are some of the

8:06

other rules of South Rowland especially if

8:08

they're counterintuitive to somebody like me right

8:10

now? So the first the first thing

8:12

anyone who wants to be a little

8:14

bit more self-reliant today than they were

8:16

yesterday is one of the rules is

8:18

be a lifelong learner. Like think about

8:20

learning. Are you curious? I don't want

8:22

to not I don't want to not

8:25

get ahead in life because I don't

8:27

know things. We have so much access

8:29

to information more than ever before. YouTube

8:31

for free. Podcast for free. Meeting with

8:33

people learning for them for free. So

8:35

one of the rules of being a

8:37

self-reliant is that curiosity, trying to understand

8:39

what's happening now and next in culture,

8:41

in market, in business. Because if you

8:43

rely on yourself to know things, you

8:45

won't be left behind. And is there

8:47

a way that you, like if somebody's

8:49

kind of going, okay, I want to

8:51

be a lifelong learner, is there a...

8:54

way you think about what to learn

8:56

first and what to learn so because

8:58

like you said all this information is

9:00

available for free this podcast is for

9:02

free right so why wouldn't you why

9:04

wouldn't you learn from leading world experts

9:06

like we have access to learn about

9:08

how companies are built what's the best

9:10

coaching techniques how to scale and grow

9:12

your business like Never before we had

9:14

so much access to information. And I

9:16

feel like the playing field is level.

9:18

Like I don't have to have a

9:20

degree to know things. I can learn

9:23

it from online to the internet through

9:25

people through books. And I feel like

9:27

that's an extraordinary time. So I think

9:29

learning is a process. Because it can

9:31

be so overwhelming with the amount of

9:33

information that we have. Like we have.

9:35

Like there's a million podcast I think

9:37

on the plan. Even if you pick

9:39

the top 100. Right. 100 hours of

9:41

education every week. Yeah, I think you

9:43

need to plan for you. You need

9:45

to like say, okay, I'm going. to

9:47

try to just listen to one podcast

9:49

either on go for a walk or

9:52

on my commute. Like, don't boil the

9:54

ocean. Think about one microstep you can

9:56

take to learn. And how do you

9:58

like to learn best? Some people like

10:00

to go in a classroom. Some people

10:02

want to learn on a video. Some

10:04

people want to learn on a video.

10:06

Some people want to listen to something

10:08

to absorb content. There's a lot of

10:10

science that says if you listen to

10:12

a podcast while walking, it's really obviously

10:14

good for your brain. And we also

10:16

have to think about unlearning. What do

10:18

we need to unlearn that's no longer

10:21

serving us? What do we need to

10:23

relearn? You know, everyone learns differently. Some

10:25

people need to be sitting in front

10:27

of someone to learn and some people

10:29

are just like, okay, I'm going to

10:31

start to listen to podcasts about medicine

10:33

and science because I want to learn

10:35

more about health or I want to

10:37

listen to podcasts about cooking or whatever

10:39

your thing that you're interested in learning

10:41

and learning about. what's a fits in

10:43

your schedule and how can you plan

10:45

for it like anything else you schedule

10:47

in the day you schedule time to

10:50

work out you schedule time to see

10:52

family and friends what are you doing

10:54

during the week to learn let's focus

10:56

our attention to one thing that I

10:58

I'm intuitively thinking you are probably really

11:00

good at also because you're probably in

11:02

this field of relationships if I may

11:04

call that that what would be sim

11:06

if your recommendations to consider either learning

11:08

or the order of learning or things

11:10

to consider to learn about to become

11:12

extraordinary in building and maintaining relationships. Okay,

11:14

that's such a good question. So I

11:16

think networking now is very difficult, right?

11:19

It's like you're doing it through Zoom,

11:21

you're doing it through LinkedIn, are you

11:23

doing it through social media? So how

11:25

do you master the art of building

11:27

that relationship? But a relationship is built

11:29

on trust. So in order to have

11:31

a relationship built on trust, you need

11:33

to start to figure out how to

11:35

connect with that person. So in the

11:37

book I actually talk about how to

11:39

master networking through dams. So like on

11:41

LinkedIn, so many people get messes. is

11:43

on LinkedIn. Is that networking? Is commenting

11:46

on other people's post networking? What's the

11:48

right way to build a relationship? And

11:50

one of the tips I give about

11:52

networking through social media is create, take

11:54

the conversation off DM and get it

11:56

into an email. Try to tell them

11:58

what is it that you are interested

12:00

in, offer your contact information first, and

12:02

what's the reason you're reaching out to

12:04

them. And it always seems to work

12:06

for me, and I can get that

12:08

conversation into an email, then you can

12:10

set up a call. So I think

12:12

building relationships is so important, and you

12:15

need to do it over time, just

12:17

like any other thing you do in

12:19

your life. The one you invest your

12:21

time in is the relationship that will

12:23

pay off. Having your own network is

12:25

one of the tenets of being self-reliant

12:27

because if I need something when I'm

12:29

through my business or my work, I

12:31

don't have to rely on your network

12:33

and relationships to do it. I want

12:35

to have my own relationships to do

12:37

it. And so I feel like investing

12:39

time in going to events, meeting people,

12:41

networking offline is very important, setting up

12:44

time to meet with people and giving

12:46

them your time, offering them something valuable.

12:48

Your network is not there to serve

12:50

you. You need to serve your network

12:52

and try to nurture it in a

12:54

way just like any other relationship you

12:56

have. Well, I might be taking free

12:58

coaching consulting from you, so excuse me

13:00

if I do, but I'm sure it'll

13:02

be helpful to my people here as

13:04

well. There is a, I think it's

13:06

research that that is suggestive of that

13:08

any human being has about 150 connections

13:10

in a lifetime. First of all, is

13:13

that actually true or this is a

13:15

man's fear of looking? I haven't heard

13:17

that number, but I feel like, you

13:19

know, there's some that you have to

13:21

have one to one and some that

13:23

are one to many. And people that

13:25

obviously social media has expanded our circle

13:27

on how many people that we have,

13:29

but like it's hard to maintain relationships

13:31

and keep up with the people that

13:33

you really want to build a relationship

13:35

with because life just takes over. relationship

13:37

or it feels like to me it's

13:39

10,000 really great relationships maybe it's 300

13:42

but still is way more than 150

13:44

I know that because when I when

13:46

we do a party and we've been

13:48

in the Austin bear I live right

13:50

now for only four years when we

13:52

do a party there's 120 people at

13:54

our house we've been there four years

13:56

people who have lived in Austin come

13:58

to our parties and say how do

14:00

you know these many people and it's

14:02

basically my wife knows these people and

14:04

that's just in Austin in LA yesterday

14:06

we were at a party that would

14:08

like 25 30 people mostly need those

14:11

friends she knew them all yeah she

14:13

knew them all and she didn't know

14:15

maybe like five out of those 25

14:17

and they were best friends by the

14:19

end of the night too so I'm

14:21

like I don't know and it could

14:23

be just that she's uniquely wired for

14:25

it and totally understand that but it

14:27

is something that I'm just so impressed

14:29

by every time She will tell you,

14:31

this is her book, this is where

14:33

she's coming out, like she has data

14:35

information. She's good at how to build

14:37

a connection and how to maintain a

14:40

connection. And I want to understand from,

14:42

because I'm not clearly good at it.

14:44

I mean, I'm decent at it and

14:46

my friendships run deep when they run

14:48

deep, but I'm not nearly and I

14:50

don't even know. what to do and

14:52

I'm asking again from a point of

14:54

view of a person that is maybe

14:56

not naturally good at it or hasn't

14:58

haven't discovered what their path is or

15:00

is insecure about it I don't even

15:02

know what my problem is or if

15:04

I'd even have a problem but the

15:06

question I have really is I know

15:09

I can follow a system I know

15:11

I want to be in connection with

15:13

people it's not that my desire is

15:15

no I want to run away from

15:17

people that's that's not true or at

15:19

least that's not my truth and so

15:21

I'm I'm trying to But what would

15:23

somebody like me do? It's a muscle

15:25

you need to develop. It's something you

15:27

need to practice. You need to get

15:29

comfortable. So learning how to network is

15:31

very daunting, especially for some introvers. Like,

15:33

I don't want to go into a

15:35

room where I don't know anybody. So

15:38

come in with a couple of conversation

15:40

starters. Think about who do you want

15:42

to meet. What kind of relationship do

15:44

you want to develop with them? Is

15:46

this somebody you just want to have

15:48

in your network for a future business

15:50

opportunity? Or is it someone you want

15:52

in your network because you want to

15:54

connect them to someone that you're working

15:56

with? So sometimes it's for you and

15:58

sometimes it's for somebody else. So I

16:00

work in the PR business, I need

16:02

to know people for my job to

16:05

help serve my clients. It's not necessarily

16:07

for me, but it's for my clients.

16:09

So I think for you, I think

16:11

it's thinking about like what's thinking about

16:13

like what's your objective, like, like, like,

16:15

like, what's your objective, like, like, like,

16:17

like, like, who do you need to

16:19

you need to network, who do you

16:21

need to network, who do you need

16:23

to network, I just like people. I

16:25

like to talk to people. I actually

16:27

am not an introvert at all. And

16:29

in a party I do okay. But

16:31

it's just the follow-up of the relationship

16:34

is something that I struggle with. And

16:36

do you, when you meet them, do

16:38

you like take their contact information? Yeah,

16:40

yeah. We know each other. We have

16:42

a great time in that time with

16:44

men and women boats. It's not like,

16:46

oh, it's only guys. No, I love

16:48

hanging out with men. but at the

16:50

same point of time like the follow-up

16:52

just I just don't know what to

16:54

text anymore like I've said yeah it

16:56

was great meeting you yesterday and you

16:58

know would love to you know meet

17:00

whenever you're in town you know like

17:03

the general nice kind follow-up message I

17:05

think networking has to have a purpose

17:07

to have a purpose to right so

17:09

I think networking has to have a

17:11

purpose to right so you don't have

17:13

a purpose to have a purpose to

17:15

right so you want to have a

17:17

call they like to a call to

17:19

a speak and I meet a ton

17:21

of people and I do exchange information.

17:23

I do this great trick when I

17:25

meet somebody at an event. We exchange

17:27

numbers, I'll take a selfie and I'll

17:29

text it. That way I can recall

17:32

who they are, what we talked about,

17:34

make a little bit of a note,

17:36

and then I'll make myself notes like,

17:38

okay, that person I want to talk

17:40

to about acts or this person I

17:42

want to do a business deal with

17:44

about this project. So I feel like...

17:46

purpose is really important. Obviously you love

17:48

people, you want to meet people, you

17:50

want to have them in your network,

17:52

but make an effort. Make an effort

17:54

to go have coffee with them so

17:56

that you can discover where those mutual

17:58

interests might lie or where you might

18:01

be able to take it. The other

18:03

thing is the frequency is how often

18:05

do you need to touch base with

18:07

someone to keep them in your network.

18:09

Like, there are people you want in

18:11

your circle, but you don't necessarily have

18:13

anything you need with them right now.

18:15

And making sure that, so sometimes to

18:17

just keep them in your orbit, go

18:19

to their social media, comment on their

18:21

posts, share their posts, show that you're,

18:23

showcase their work. That's a nice way

18:25

to stay in touch with someone with

18:27

an easy, low level lift, but keeping

18:30

them that you're in your circle in

18:32

your orbit and that you're around. I

18:34

love that. So find a low level

18:36

lift. So you can at least stay

18:38

in the frequency or in the circle

18:40

of the person. And then look for

18:42

what is a connection point? Yeah. And

18:44

if you're going to be at the

18:46

same event or you're going to be

18:48

at the same event or you're going

18:50

to be at an upcoming event or

18:52

you're going to be at an upcoming

18:54

event or you're going to be at

18:56

an upcoming event or you're going to

18:59

be at an upcoming event that you're

19:01

going to be at. I'm a coach,

19:03

how do I do this? Because you,

19:05

and correct me if I've misunderstood this,

19:07

but you definitely don't want to lead

19:09

with what can I get from them

19:11

and can I sign them as a

19:13

client, right? You want to first start

19:15

with saying, bringing value. Yeah, what is

19:17

it that they can find valuable in

19:19

our conversation today? Okay, cool. So how

19:21

would you identify that in a dialogue?

19:23

Like, let's say in your reality when

19:25

you are talking to people, what is

19:28

that you're looking for as a cue?

19:30

Is it a cure you're looking for?

19:32

Yeah, I think it's just to be

19:34

a good listener. So like I trying

19:36

to understand like when I meet somebody,

19:38

I'll give you an example, Matt Higgins.

19:40

Matt Higgins is our RSC Ventures chairman

19:42

of investment company, director consumers, a shotgun

19:44

shock tank, and I met Matt at

19:46

like a Super Bowl party like four

19:48

years ago. And then he knows that

19:50

I was living in Dubai in Egypt.

19:52

I live in the US now, but

19:54

I lived overseas for 23 years doing

19:57

business in the Middle East market. Hetacoms

19:59

at Google and Netflix working a lot

20:01

in the region and so So he

20:03

does business around the world and he

20:05

said, you know, I never been to

20:07

that part of the world. I've never

20:09

done business in the Middle East before.

20:11

I'm curious about it. And so that

20:13

was my cue. I know about the

20:15

Middle East. I live there. I've done

20:17

business. Maybe I can create value for

20:19

him by taking him on a trip.

20:21

Maybe I can introduce him to people

20:24

he can do business with. Maybe I

20:26

can open up a new market for

20:28

him. So I just took that as

20:30

a cue of like him, his global

20:32

businessman does all these big things, author

20:34

book, he's done extraordinary things in his

20:36

life. But here's one place where I

20:38

can uniquely add value. I know the

20:40

region, I know the market, I heard

20:42

him say he's never done business there

20:44

before, so you have to be a

20:46

good listener. What are something where you

20:48

might be uniquely qualified to bring value

20:50

to them in? Wonderful, wonderful. All right,

20:53

I don't know if we were too

20:55

much. I'm getting too curious here. So

20:57

tell us some other rules to sell

20:59

for lines. One of the biggest rules,

21:01

and I think a lot of people

21:03

listening to this podcast will get the

21:05

most value from this book, from this

21:07

chapter, and it's think of your reputation

21:09

as a currency. What's its worth and

21:11

what's its value? So a lot of

21:13

people know the term personal brand. And

21:15

if you're a You have a personal

21:17

brand, right? It's what you stand for.

21:19

It's who people see you as. But

21:22

a lot of people don't like to

21:24

be like building a brand. I'm not

21:26

a company. I don't need to build

21:28

my brand. But if you reframe it

21:30

and you think about it as a

21:32

reputation, that changes everything. And don't you

21:34

want to care about your reputation? So

21:36

your personal brand is how you show

21:38

up in the world. What are you

21:40

doing to protect it, to build it,

21:42

to grow it? Because why I'm going

21:44

to pick you as a coach is

21:46

because I like your personality. I like

21:48

your style. I like what you deliver

21:51

and coach me on. And a lot

21:53

of people make choices on their coaches,

21:55

whether they're a fitness coach or their

21:57

management coach. Based on a personal brand

21:59

is made up of three things. Your

22:01

skills, your experience and your personality. So

22:03

what are you doing to show those

22:05

three things in your personal brand? Because

22:07

if you're not investing in your reputation,

22:09

your personal brand, I can bet you,

22:11

somebody's doing it for you, and it's

22:13

not what you want it to be.

22:15

So be intentional about how to build

22:17

your brand, what you should be doing,

22:20

how you wanna show up in the

22:22

world. If you work at a company

22:24

and you wanna get a promotion, you

22:26

need to have a strong personal brand.

22:28

Because, you know, are they gonna know

22:30

you as a collaborator, a team player,

22:32

a listener, a problem solver? how you

22:34

are representing and how you show up

22:36

in the world because other people in

22:38

the company are. If you're an entrepreneur,

22:40

if you don't have a strong personal

22:42

brand, you're not going to be able

22:44

to recruit the right team and the

22:46

employees that you want. You're not going

22:49

to be able to get that investor

22:51

that you need. So I think thinking

22:53

about your reputation, not just online, on

22:55

social media, offline is far more important.

22:57

How do you treat your team members?

22:59

How do you treat your customers? What

23:01

do you do after you coach somebody?

23:03

What is that relationship like? How do

23:05

you keep that personal brand, that personal

23:07

touch, something that differentiates you from other

23:09

people in the market? It's critical in

23:11

today's world, especially with AI coming and

23:13

what's happening of all the conversations out

23:15

there. Make sure that yours is solid

23:18

and that you're investing in it. Beautiful.

23:20

And I love that you said even

23:22

in personal brands, not only about your

23:24

skills, it's also about your personality. And

23:26

I think that's something that we resist

23:28

a lot is because we think, oh,

23:30

you know, personal brand is about the

23:32

message I'm putting out. Yeah. Not the,

23:34

not ever, every, not everything about life.

23:36

Of course, that might be too much,

23:38

but the personality that is underlying the

23:40

message. Yeah. That's what we relate to

23:42

a human being. It's not necessarily about

23:44

the what, it's the how. How do

23:47

you do things? So personal brand does

23:49

not mean personal life. Yeah, I agree.

23:51

Yeah. So I think it's your personality.

23:53

How do you approach people? How do

23:55

you make them feel? How do you

23:57

bring them value? How are you creating

23:59

an opportunity for them? How are you

24:01

teaching them something they didn't know before?

24:03

I mean, you look online. I had...

24:05

people come to me and say, maha,

24:07

I'm a personal trainer. There are millions

24:09

of personal trainers on the internet and

24:11

doing social media. You know, why am

24:14

I going to go out there and

24:16

get an audience and I'm not going

24:18

to be able to make up? There's

24:20

so many, so many choices out there.

24:22

I'm like, they may have the same

24:24

skills and experiences you. But they don't

24:26

have your personality. Maybe you're a mom

24:28

over 50 who wants to teach women

24:30

how to take care of themselves. Maybe

24:32

you hadn't been in the gym for

24:34

a long time and you want to

24:36

be that person and see people who

24:38

get back in the gym. There are

24:40

so many things that there's an abundance

24:43

in the market and there's room for

24:45

everyone. And I want to just encourage

24:47

people, build your personal brand, build your

24:49

reputation. And you can have fun doing

24:51

it. And showing your personality is key.

24:53

Yeah. So agree with you on that.

24:55

And I think that is such a

24:57

so important element of coaches or human

24:59

beings out in the world to really

25:01

demonstrate their personality and to be able

25:03

to take it out in the world

25:05

for people to be able to be

25:07

able to because I think we We

25:09

follow people like in the sense of

25:12

personalities. Yeah, we can relate with and

25:14

we can hold on to you. They

25:16

don't follow companies. Yeah. Yeah, and even

25:18

companies that we follow have personalities. Why

25:20

we follow them they have personalities why

25:22

we follow them? They have an opinion.

25:24

Usually are the ones that kind of

25:26

you know fall flat they're not attractive

25:28

to people to kind of go okay

25:30

that looks like something I would want

25:32

to chase or be with or around

25:34

the community comes comes around the personality

25:36

and persona that is that is so

25:38

true is there something that you have

25:41

found the elements of personality that and

25:43

I might be going really off tangent

25:45

here so tell me if it is

25:47

not working in that context but when

25:49

we are talking about presenting your personality

25:51

as a persona online or in media

25:53

or otherwise I mean or in offline

25:55

communications. Is there particular elements of your

25:57

personality that you could be highlighting or

25:59

is there a process to really identify

26:01

what is my personality even? I think

26:03

yeah you should ask yourself like what

26:05

do I want people to know about

26:07

me? And then you should ask, like,

26:10

what do people currently know about me?

26:12

And then, you know, the key, and

26:14

you know this, and everyone listening knows,

26:16

is, like, you need to be authentic.

26:18

You need to be yourself. You need

26:20

to do something that you can do

26:22

consistently. You don't want to be fake

26:24

it till you make it. Because people

26:26

will see through that. And if you

26:28

want to build a personal brand and

26:30

you want it to be strong, it

26:32

has to be you, who you are,

26:34

who you are, every day all the

26:36

same. The easiest way to know is

26:39

to ask people, right? Even social media

26:41

is a great research tool. Like, what

26:43

kind of content you want to see

26:45

for me? Ask them. It's the easiest

26:47

way to find out what your audience

26:49

wants is to ask them. Or ask

26:51

them, what kind of things are you,

26:53

what kind of things about my content

26:55

you like? And then you can find

26:57

out. So like, don't, don't be afraid

26:59

to ask other people's opinions, either through

27:01

social media or through the people that

27:03

are close to you, that know you,

27:05

that work with you. How do I

27:08

know what I should be? How do

27:10

I know what people value for me?

27:12

Is it even for me for my?

27:14

Do people come to my social because

27:16

they want to learn communications tips? Or

27:18

entrepreneur and leadership tips? Or do they

27:20

like seeing what it's like to live

27:22

in Dubai and Minnesota? There's such big

27:24

contrast. I need to ask them. What

27:26

are the things that are the most

27:28

interesting to your audience? 80% of your

27:30

content or what you share should be

27:32

valuable to them. 20% should be maybe

27:34

information about where they can come to

27:37

you speak or where they can get

27:39

your coaching or how they can sign

27:41

up for your programs. But I feel

27:43

like if you can consistently make your

27:45

content about them in your personal brand

27:47

about what your audience cares about, that's

27:49

what connects with an audience. That's what

27:51

brings them in and that's what keeps

27:53

them continuing to follow you and to

27:55

get coaching from you. I learned about

27:57

one tool somewhere. It's called the top

27:59

100. The tool suggests that write down

28:01

the top 100 people that you want

28:03

to connect with and then firstly put

28:06

it out in the universe, you know,

28:08

very metaphysical, very spiritual, put it out

28:10

in the universe that you want to

28:12

connect and be quote-unquote friends or be

28:14

in the circle of these hundred people

28:16

and then create everything in alignment to

28:18

be able to be in circle of

28:20

that 100 people. A, do you think

28:22

there is any truths to this? I

28:24

love that. I like the intentional. I

28:26

like thinking about, that's why I ask

28:28

you, like, what's your objective for your

28:30

networking? You're like, I just want to

28:33

meet people, I like people. But I

28:35

feel like if you have a purpose

28:37

for it, like write it down. Like,

28:39

writing it down, puts it into the

28:41

universe as well, but also helps you

28:43

think about what your goals are. So

28:45

you're not like, did I meet three

28:47

of the five people I wanted to

28:49

meet in 2024? What are the things

28:51

that I really? It doesn't mean stay

28:53

low profile, it means stay low and

28:55

focused on putting in the hard work.

28:57

So many distractions are coming at us,

28:59

doubts, you can't do this, you shouldn't

29:02

do this. We're so distracted from our

29:04

goals. So stay low in putting the

29:06

hard work to focus on what you

29:08

really care about, and that starts by

29:10

writing it down. Like, write down what

29:12

are the things I really want to

29:14

focus on? There's going to be people

29:16

that are going to ask you to

29:18

do all these things. It's like sitting

29:20

in front of your inbox and your

29:22

email. There's all these incoming emails that

29:24

are other people's priorities, not necessarily things

29:26

you want to be working on, but

29:28

you need to react to and you

29:31

need to respond to. So you need

29:33

to close it if you want to

29:35

focus on what you actually want to

29:37

focus on and do in your work

29:39

or in your life. And the distractions

29:41

are a lot. beyond social media, family

29:43

commitments, other things that happen in our

29:45

lives. So stay low and then keep

29:47

moving is all about. We're gonna have

29:49

setbacks, we're gonna have bad days, there's

29:51

gonna be economic downturns, there's gonna be

29:53

problems in our lives, reset the button

29:55

the next day, and just keep moving.

29:57

Is there something particular you suggest to

30:00

reset the button next day? Yeah, I

30:02

think for me, it's not overthinking and

30:04

not like dwelling on the past. It's

30:06

like, okay, things that happen, like I

30:08

say, I had a bad day or

30:10

I could only give 40% that day.

30:12

And I gave 100% of that 40%

30:14

and that's good for me. Like, I

30:16

think understanding that harboring and hanging on

30:18

to baggage of yesterday will hold you

30:20

back and it's like, it's unhelpful and

30:22

it doesn't really serve any purpose. So

30:24

just reset the button going, okay, fresh

30:26

page, fresh day, I get a new

30:29

start. We get to live. We get

30:31

to wake up and breathe every day.

30:33

We get to be on this earth

30:35

doing things that we love and put

30:37

it in perspective. Wonderful. Wonderful. Maha, is

30:39

there any other rule that we should

30:41

be talking about right now that I

30:43

haven't asked about yet? One of them

30:45

is, don't be a waiter. Be a

30:47

creator and it's a story that happened

30:49

to me. I was in Egypt It

30:51

was like 2,000 or something and I

30:53

was having tea with a friend and

30:55

he Was talking to me about some

30:58

things going on my life and he's

31:00

like well I think you're a waiter

31:02

and I'm like what I was like

31:04

really upset? And he's like you're waiting

31:06

you're waiting for mr. Right you're waiting

31:08

for your boss TV the project that's

31:10

going to make you a rock star

31:12

You're waiting for some magic diet that's

31:14

going to come along to come along

31:16

and make you're waiting for you're waiting

31:18

for you're waiting for And it really

31:20

paused to me and allowed me to

31:22

think. Like, maybe, you know, I think

31:24

some of my headliff are fine, I'm

31:27

okay, I feel good about everything, but

31:29

I'm not putting my life in the

31:31

dream or in the full throttle of

31:33

the opportunities and the potential that it

31:35

probably can be. So how do we

31:37

go from waiting for opportunities to come

31:39

to me to actually creating them? Like,

31:41

what are the steps I need to

31:43

take? What's the gap between my goals

31:45

and ambitions and the work I'm willing

31:47

to do to reach them? And a

31:49

lot of us have goals and ambitions,

31:51

but we're not willing to like break

31:53

down the steps or take the steps

31:56

to do them. So I kind of

31:58

outlined in the book, like how to

32:00

go from that mindset, like, are you

32:02

a waiter? How do you? find out

32:04

if you're a waiter or a creator.

32:06

And if you want to do something,

32:08

what's the steps you need to take

32:10

to try to create that? And I

32:12

find that often in time, we're either

32:14

waiting for permission from others or we're

32:16

outsourcing our decisions, our decisions, like other

32:18

people to decide, and let that be

32:20

our fate. And I just want to

32:22

inspire people through some of the stories

32:25

I tell in the book about like,

32:27

you can create them, you can create

32:29

them, you can do them, you need

32:31

to believe in yourself. When you make

32:33

that gap, was the steps obvious to

32:35

you? No, I mean it's not ever

32:37

obvious, but you need to like be

32:39

intentional about taking it, writing it down,

32:41

breaking it down, reverse engineering it. What

32:43

does a creator look like from your

32:45

point of view? Yeah, it's like you

32:47

need to like think about all the

32:49

things you want to do in your

32:52

life. Like let's say for example, tell

32:54

a story in the book about I

32:56

really wanted to go to the Super

32:58

Bowl. How do I go to the

33:00

Super Bowl? I need to find an

33:02

opportunity to have a business opportunity to

33:04

get to the Super Bowl. It's like

33:06

where brands and athletes and celebrities and

33:08

CEOs and CEOs come together. That's a

33:10

really good business opportunity and there's a

33:12

lot of people that I need to

33:14

network with all in the same place

33:16

at the and a two or three

33:18

day period. But I need to have

33:21

a business purpose to be there. I

33:23

need to create an opportunity that would

33:25

allow me to be there so I

33:27

can do that. So I just reversed

33:29

it, I reversed the steps. Getting a

33:31

client that needs to be there, what

33:33

kind of work that we need to

33:35

be there, what kind of work that

33:37

we need to be doing, what's the

33:39

efforts I need to, how do I

33:41

navigate the Super Bowl? Like, it's steps.

33:43

So you're just thinking about it, and

33:45

then breaking. That's wonderful. So I almost

33:47

feel like you're also suggesting to be

33:50

incredibly intentional with everything that you do.

33:52

That's what I'm feeling. Like, you be

33:54

clear, this is what you want to

33:56

create, and because you're intentional and clear

33:58

about it, you're more likely to create

34:00

it because you're looking for steps and

34:02

then you're just falling. Yeah, and I

34:04

think what you focus on gets... results.

34:06

Right? So like thinking about what do

34:08

I need to do to rely on

34:10

myself a little bit more? Is it

34:12

acquiring a skill? Is it acquiring a

34:14

relationship? Is it learning how to create

34:16

value for other people? Is it learning

34:19

what does it mean to be a

34:21

long-term player? That's what I talk about

34:23

not just in the book. I've done

34:25

it my whole career. Like I have

34:27

been... I've been where many listeners have

34:29

been. I didn't have things handed to

34:31

me. I didn't have a family office

34:33

or a family that I could rely

34:35

on that had a business or I

34:37

don't have means of financial means. I

34:39

have to create opportunities for myself. And

34:41

I had to rely on myself to

34:43

figure out how to do it. And

34:45

these are tools and techniques that I've

34:48

mastered in 30 years of learning how

34:50

to like, huh, it's easy to do.

34:52

I just need to be showing how

34:54

to do it. How does it feel

34:56

like 20 years into this? And being

34:58

where you are now, wildly successful and

35:00

so forth. 20-year journey, that's not a

35:02

short ride. If you take a second,

35:04

reflect back and go, wow, that's where

35:06

I start in this look where I'm

35:08

here. How does that feel? First of

35:10

all, I'm very grateful, but I had

35:12

no idea what I was doing when

35:14

I started a company 20 years ago.

35:17

Like I knew I wanted to do

35:19

strategic communications and I'm good at PR.

35:21

But I knew nothing about how to

35:23

run a business or a company. And

35:25

I had to like get people who

35:27

knew how to do stuff like HR

35:29

and labor laws and legal and finance

35:31

and accounting and managing people and building

35:33

a culture. Like you just don't know.

35:35

And I remember the first day at

35:37

work where I was sitting in my

35:39

office going, oh, I'm the boss now.

35:41

They're going to come in and ask

35:43

me for a question or to help

35:46

them. And I have to have the

35:48

answers. And I was scared. But then...

35:50

If I didn't know the answer, we

35:52

figured it out together. Because I remember

35:54

going into my boss's office when I

35:56

had a question every time she knew

35:58

the answer, how am I going to

36:00

be that person for them? And so

36:02

I feel like looking back, obviously, being

36:04

entrepreneurs, you have to rely on yourself.

36:06

You have to problem solve. You have

36:08

to make... the decisions, you have to

36:10

take accountability, you have to manage payroll.

36:12

I mean, it's not easy, but I

36:15

enjoy the journey because every step I'm

36:17

learning more and more about how to

36:19

do the business, how to be better

36:21

at serving clients, how to keep clients,

36:23

how to be valuable in the market,

36:25

finding what's unique about you that you

36:27

can really lean into as your secret

36:29

sauce. And so I'm really, really grateful

36:31

and I failed a ton. I have

36:33

had my sheriff. fair share of failures,

36:35

which I talk about in the book.

36:37

But I feel like that's giving you

36:39

experience that you can reflect on and

36:41

share with others in making sure you

36:44

just don't make those mistakes as well.

36:46

That's wonderful. Amazing. Maha, how is it

36:48

that people can learn more about it?

36:50

Of course, first they can go to

36:52

seven rules of self-reliance. Is that what

36:54

the language? Well, it's available. Amazing. Maha,

36:56

how is it that people can learn

36:58

more about? Barnes, Barnes, Barnesa, Barnes, Okay,

37:00

amazing. Any final thoughts that you want

37:02

to share with people here, something that

37:04

they can take away and carry? I

37:06

want them to rethink how they think

37:08

about self-reliance, about being something powerful, being

37:11

something inspiring, being something valuable. So when

37:13

you invest in yourself and you want

37:15

to create value for others, you ultimately

37:17

create value for yourself, because you get

37:19

the experience, you get the relationships, and

37:21

you get the ability. to grow and

37:23

to be in charge of your future

37:25

and what you want to work on.

37:27

If you had to look 20 years

37:29

a career, over 20 years a career,

37:31

20 years a career just building a

37:33

business, there was one advice that you

37:35

would share with somebody who was just

37:37

getting started, maybe in the first second

37:40

year of their business, something, what would

37:42

that be? Build relationships. Relationships are key.

37:44

You can't do anything in this world

37:46

alone. So you need to be good

37:48

to people. You need to have relationships.

37:50

You need to have a good reputation

37:52

because those relationships will give you the

37:54

right advice. We'll open the right door.

37:56

We'll be there to have your... back.

37:58

We'll be there to

38:00

support you. you. Relationships

38:02

are the actual thing that Is there

38:05

Is there anything that you hear

38:07

that people talk about a lot

38:09

is is absolutely not true? I think you

38:11

know think you know in your in

38:13

your reputation is really really important and

38:15

I I feel like people who

38:17

think that that that brand is not

38:19

important that's not true is need to

38:21

actually do it. Thank you so

38:24

much Mahan true. You need to you. love

38:26

being here thank you. you.