0:02

A listener, production. April

0:04

1st? April 1st? April 1st.

0:06

April 1st. April Foolest day!

0:09

I'm pity the fool! It's

0:11

some more foolish shenanigans with

0:13

these two lovable Brecky food

0:15

court gestures. It's Matt and

0:18

Alex all day breakfast! Well

0:20

it was 2004 Alex Tyson

0:22

when I fresh-faced 18 years

0:24

old still, celebrating my 19th

0:27

birthday. that very afternoon. As in you

0:29

were celebrating because you were turning 19

0:31

at midnight or something? No, no, no.

0:34

I was celebrating because I was going

0:36

down to the Melbourne Comedy Festival for

0:38

the very first time to perform in

0:40

the raw comedy grand final. I was

0:42

turning 19 during that trip the day

0:45

before I took the stage and it

0:47

was an eye-opening experience. being in the

0:49

in the festival for the first time

0:51

I performed terribly like truly atrociously and

0:54

it scared me away from the festival

0:56

for four years but it I remember

0:58

I was there I was on stage I

1:00

mean people in my heat Will Anderson hosted

1:03

it Claire Hooper was in my heat I

1:05

mean in the final I remember seeing people

1:07

from the television like as I was just

1:09

walking along the street going like oh my

1:12

god like these These are people I,

1:14

you know, seen on the comedy

1:16

channel and stuff. So it was

1:18

an eye-opening experience. And so I

1:20

thought, let's talk about the comedy

1:22

festival this year, because it has

1:24

kicked off. Well, probably a good

1:27

day to mention it. April fools,

1:29

depending on when you decide to

1:31

digest all-day breakfast. It could be

1:33

prime for a prank, or it

1:35

could be, you are the fool,

1:37

should you try one now? Is

1:39

it 11 AM or is it

1:41

like daylight? savings time or is it?

1:44

Are we going on Australian Eastern daylight savings

1:46

time? Are we going on Western Australian time?

1:48

When is the cutoff? I don't know. Who

1:50

knows? We're not going to fool you. We

1:53

are not here to trick. We are just

1:55

here to have fun. Hang out and get

1:57

you through your days. So let's dive into

1:59

it. Let's get this show on the

2:01

road. Let's go. Here we go, here

2:04

we go, here we go, here we

2:06

go. Shall we talk about that raw

2:08

comedy final? We've talked about it before,

2:10

I'm sure. I think I remember talking

2:12

about it before, I'm sure. I think

2:15

I remember talking about it with you

2:17

on Triple J, but I'm not sure.

2:19

Have we talked about it on the

2:21

podcast before? Well, fine, let's talk about

2:23

it. Look, I'll just, okay, can I'll

2:26

go through step by step where it

2:28

all went wrong. All right, so I

2:30

get to Melbourne. It's my fourth ever

2:32

gig, okay? The three gigs before it

2:34

were the heats and the semis and

2:37

the final of this real comedy. And,

2:39

and, you know, I just wasn't equipped

2:41

to be dealing with a 1500 person

2:43

town hall. Yeah, full of people. and

2:45

big movers and shakers like it was

2:48

the raw comedy final that Tom Ballard

2:50

performed that which the head of triple

2:52

J was at and said do you

2:54

have any radio experience and he goes

2:56

well actually I do a show in

2:59

warnable on community radio with my mate

3:01

who's the year above me at school

3:03

at 10 p.m.m. on a Thursday night

3:05

do you want me to tape it

3:07

off for my mum to tape it

3:10

for you and send your cassettes you

3:12

know right so there's movers and shakers

3:14

in the room for this big raw

3:16

comedy final. Yeah, and I, you know,

3:18

I just didn't know what I was

3:21

doing. I didn't know, you know, the

3:23

night before I just decided to go

3:25

out and like see things. And by

3:27

that, do you mean crown casino? No.

3:29

I went, I was staying at the

3:32

Victoria Hotel and it was, I stayed

3:34

in the tiny, terrible little room, like

3:36

it's such a cramped little room that

3:38

stank a cigarette. Because this was back

3:40

in the day where, you know, people

3:43

were just smoking anywhere, right, right, in

3:45

bars and everything. When you make it

3:47

to the Royal Comedy Final, do they

3:49

pay your accommodation and your flights and

3:51

things? I don't think so. I don't

3:54

think they did. Yeah, interesting. And so,

3:56

yeah, it was a really big deal

3:58

and I went out the night before

4:00

and I remember bumping into, I think

4:02

maybe if I told this story, where

4:05

I, um... Bumped into these two guys

4:07

in the in the in the hotel

4:09

bar and One of them was cam

4:11

night who I'd seen on the comedy

4:13

channel because he was the host to

4:16

the comedy channel at the time Yeah,

4:18

and I and I was talking to

4:20

him and I you know, he's like

4:22

oh, so what are you down here

4:24

for and I was like, oh, you

4:27

know, I'm in the raw final and

4:29

he was like, you know, I thought

4:31

I was a pretty big deal to

4:33

be honest. This this this will surely

4:35

impress a man of this caliber and

4:38

he was like, oh wow, that's pretty

4:40

cool. And I said, oh, you know,

4:42

what are you doing here? And he

4:44

said, oh, I'm here seeing my friend

4:46

Dave Williams. Do you know him? And

4:49

I said, yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure

4:51

I know him. Yeah, I'm pretty sure

4:53

I know him. Anyways, I know Dave

4:55

Williams is literally standing in front of

4:57

me. You wouldn't know of Dave Williams

5:00

if he was standing right in front

5:02

of you. And so, and then so

5:04

I go to this, his friend, I'm

5:06

like, oh, what about you? What are

5:08

you here for? He's like, I'm actually

5:11

Dave Williams. And I was like, oh

5:13

my God, this is the industry. And

5:15

these are the type of bloody idiots

5:17

that I'm going to be dealing with.

5:19

There's an April Falls day, because I've

5:22

ever heard one there. Like, I'm 18

5:24

years old for God's sake. You know?

5:26

This is the way I'd get treated

5:28

by these people. I was off to

5:30

a bad start. You became really good

5:33

friends with cab though. Yeah, we became

5:35

great friends. Mine drew every single time

5:37

I saw him for the next five

5:39

years. I had to bring it up

5:41

because I was still in the mood.

5:44

I remember him telling me one day

5:46

at a party. He's like, oh no

5:48

man, I'm really liking what you're doing

5:50

on stage and stuff like that. And

5:52

I'm like, stop making fun making fun.

5:55

You lied to me the first time

5:57

we met we had a full like

5:59

blow up at this party, and he's

6:01

like I'm chill. I'm telling you the

6:03

truth man This is what happens when

6:06

you lie to people first time you

6:08

meet him. I don't trust anything you

6:10

say. So anyway, then I did my,

6:12

then I, oh, I just made so

6:14

many mistakes. I went to this pub

6:17

and they were doing an open mic

6:19

night and I saw like, not open

6:21

mic, but like a round of comedians.

6:23

And I saw Bev Killek on stage,

6:25

absolutely destroyed. And so in her act,

6:28

she made a joke about President Bush,

6:30

right? And how I don't know, he

6:32

was stupid or whatever. It was the

6:34

mid 2000s, that was good. Yeah. The

6:36

crowd lapped it up. So I decided

6:39

to rewrite one of my jokes in

6:41

my raw set to like have a

6:43

poke fun at George W. Bush and

6:45

it just fell so flat. Like people

6:47

were just like, what? Like it just

6:50

didn't even make sense. Do you remember

6:52

the wording? It was something so bad.

6:54

It was like... I'm allowed to... Oh,

6:56

I can't even remember what it was.

6:58

It was like... Yeah, no, I just

7:01

I just can't I can't think of

7:03

it, but the punchline was and I

7:05

can make fun of George Bush because

7:07

he's a dickhead and people are just

7:09

like What? Like it just didn't make

7:12

sense. Anyways, so the whole the whole

7:14

reason why it fell apart is because

7:16

Nick's son who ended up winning the

7:18

competition came out before me and his

7:20

whole thing, he'd been doing comedy for

7:23

about two years by that stage and

7:25

he's Chinese background and so his whole

7:27

thing was, you know, his whole act

7:29

was like really dead pan coming out

7:31

going, yeah, I'm Asian, you know, and

7:34

basically just making fun of ethnic humor,

7:36

ethnic comedians, and comedians who only make

7:38

fun of their ethnicity. That was it.

7:40

Right, right, right, right. So it was

7:42

a bit of a meta. Yeah, exactly.

7:45

tore the house down people like but

7:47

I couldn't hear what he was saying

7:49

on stage I could just hear the

7:51

audience loving it so I was like

7:53

oh good on this guy he's doing

7:56

well then it's my go time to

7:58

go on not directly after him but

8:00

a few acts later and I come

8:02

on and I'm like, hey, what's the

8:04

deal with being black? And it's just

8:07

like, oh, dead to silence. People are

8:09

just like, did this guy not here,

8:11

the other comedian, like, just destroy this

8:13

type of comedy? I struggled through the

8:15

set so badly. And I only found

8:18

out what had happened when I received

8:20

the VHS of the broadcast episode of

8:22

raw comedy, because they put it on

8:24

ABC TV. And I finally got I

8:26

finally got to see Nick Sun's act.

8:29

And it made so much sense. I

8:31

needed to have you on before. Yeah,

8:33

I don't know why they did that.

8:35

They stitched me up. That's crazy. It's

8:37

like in uni I did performance and

8:40

I was trying to make it a

8:42

bit funny and talk about, you know,

8:44

the need for uni students to like

8:46

have some sort of meaning or like

8:48

this sort of darkness and like I

8:51

was wearing a black skivvy for a

8:53

little bit. They're just making a joke

8:55

like my heart is in a cage

8:57

sort of thing and then. jump into

8:59

the next bit. And the question being,

9:02

where's the terror? You know, where's the

9:04

terror in this? Because that's what I

9:06

try to tell you in uni, you

9:08

gotta find the terror. Like, what's the

9:10

scary? And then, and at the end,

9:13

I ripped my shirt off and on

9:15

my chest, I'd written, I am the

9:17

terror, as if I'm tearing my shirt.

9:19

And it was the kind of like

9:21

comedy can also be a good way

9:24

of connecting people, right? Then the very

9:26

next girl who got up, I think

9:28

literally had a black sciver on and

9:30

said the words, my heart is in

9:32

a cage right after I was like

9:35

making fun of that type of unistudents

9:37

performance. And the tutor told me that

9:39

she mentioned in her post report. Like

9:41

you had to write about your performance,

9:43

like, yeah, it didn't help going on

9:46

with the guy before making fun of

9:48

this stuff. I was like, oh, so

9:50

sos about that. Oh man, that is

9:52

exactly what it's like. And if it

9:54

makes her feel better, I didn't get

9:57

a particularly good mark for it, so

9:59

it's fine. So anyways, the comment. festival

10:01

is on and we should just like

10:03

let so people actually understand what the

10:05

comedy festival is because I still you

10:08

know even get us like oh so

10:10

you know you're gonna perform at the

10:12

comedy festival because people think that the

10:14

comedy festival is just the TV show

10:16

and it's not just the TV show

10:19

it is basically a 22-day festival that's

10:21

held in Melbourne in which comedy performances

10:23

are held like you know in venues

10:25

all around the city And most comedians

10:27

perform for an hour. They do their

10:30

whole solo show. It's just them. You

10:32

buy a ticket to see just them.

10:34

And other times there are like group

10:36

shows where there's a rotating roster. There's

10:38

also the late night festival club where

10:41

you can go and see like lots

10:43

of great people from all around the

10:45

country and the world. It's a really

10:47

great atmosphere and it's definitely worth. a

10:49

trip to Melbourne for during this time

10:52

of the month. It's one of my

10:54

favourite times in Melbourne because you're walking

10:56

around the streets and there's just people

10:58

going everywhere like pubs have little side

11:00

rooms with comedy festivals so there's cues

11:03

and that but also like the footies

11:05

just starting up as well. Yeah the

11:07

footies on there's food festivals, the formula

11:09

one that weekend is just crazy when

11:11

that sort of is usually pretty close

11:14

to it as well like it is

11:16

really fun as well but I am

11:18

biased. Brett and Bartabra. We got Will

11:20

Anderson performing a comedy republic doing his

11:22

show at Comedy Republic this year. Who's

11:25

won People's Choice for like four. decades

11:27

now is doing his solo show at

11:29

6 p.m. at Comedy Republic. I think

11:31

tickets are all sold out as you'd

11:33

imagine because he performs town hall all

11:36

the time, but it's his improvised show

11:38

that that's huge. But Lou Wall is

11:40

in there and I've heard show, her

11:42

show is in there and I've heard

11:44

show, her show is incredible and Michael

11:47

Hing performing at Comedy Republic as well,

11:49

which is really great. Although he did

11:51

have a really tough incident. He was

11:53

on stage at one of the particular

11:55

broadcast. And that someone passed away in

11:58

the Palat Theater. That's truly so, so

12:00

bad. I mean, it would have just

12:02

been such an awful experience. And you

12:04

know, I remember I remember thinking that

12:06

it were seeing people like commenting on

12:09

the Instagram page and stuff like that,

12:11

that the comedy festival was saying, oh,

12:13

it's poor form from the comedy festival

12:15

for, you know, it taking this long

12:17

before they canceled the show and other

12:20

people saying, oh, they shouldn't have canceled.

12:22

And it's like, it's so... In a

12:24

situation like that, in the 20 years

12:26

that I've been doing it, 22 years,

12:28

I've never seen, I've never heard of

12:31

that sort of stuff happening. I'm someone

12:33

having a medical episode, sort of mid-show

12:35

and being unable to be revived, yeah.

12:37

Yeah, and to actually die, my heart

12:39

absolutely goes out to the people who

12:42

the person was with, the family, everything.

12:44

It's so confusing to know what's actually

12:46

happening in the audience when you're on

12:48

stage. of that theater up the back,

12:50

which is where the emergency happened. There's

12:53

no way that you would know on

12:55

stage what's happening, right? It's too far

12:57

away. And even, you know, in my

12:59

own gigs, I've had people say, you

13:01

know, people will vomit or something like

13:04

that. And, you know, sometimes it's because

13:06

they've had too much to drink. And

13:08

then other times it's because of like

13:10

a food poisoning or whatever, redive reason

13:12

they're vomit. Manages to find their way

13:15

sort of out of the venue and

13:17

you just try to keep going and

13:19

likewise I've had a girl sort of

13:21

collapse and fall out into the aisle

13:23

of the Of the show and then

13:26

sort of drag herself to the wall

13:28

and sit down and Like that was

13:30

like hey, like is everything okay? And

13:32

she's like yeah, I'm fine. I just

13:34

had a bit of a I just

13:37

fainted a bit, I'm good, you keep

13:39

going. Like that was literally what she

13:41

said, right? And so, and you do,

13:43

and then you sort of talking to

13:45

them while they're on stage, and it

13:48

becomes actually like kind of a unique

13:50

or funny part of the show. And

13:52

so, you know, I don't think that

13:54

anyone would have ever, ever. imagine that

13:56

this situation would have been so so

13:59

awful. So serious as well, because I

14:01

guess it's your job as a comedian.

14:03

This is somewhat of a unique show

14:05

in which each comedian only has four

14:07

minutes and it's film for television. So

14:10

there is a lot less sort of

14:12

crowd interaction that's not. No, yeah, you're

14:14

not aware. And ready to go and

14:16

ready to be moved on. And so

14:18

I guess it's your natural instinct as

14:21

a comedian to sort of try and

14:23

make a joke out of things. But

14:25

when something so serious is going on,

14:27

that could become quite a fraught territory.

14:29

with just people's, how much knowledge they

14:32

have of what's happening is in the

14:34

way. Yeah, and people will, like, people,

14:36

I mean, people will be like... affected

14:38

by this for a long time like

14:40

for a long time like people in

14:43

the audience around them and everything like

14:45

that it would have been extremely distressing

14:47

maybe the people down the front wouldn't

14:49

have understood what was happening up the

14:51

back well that's exactly it because sometimes

14:53

things are happening and you don't know

14:56

you don't actually know what's going on

14:58

and for often you you kind of

15:00

hear a commotion and you don't if

15:02

it's nothing you don't want to stop

15:04

everything because you know the last thing

15:07

you think of is that it's going

15:09

to be the worst situation Well, 10

15:11

minutes, the crowd was giving the person,

15:13

you know, emergency care for 10 minutes

15:15

before the paramedics arrived. And then when

15:18

the paramedics arrived, there was obviously clear

15:20

communication that this is a really serious

15:22

situation that needs to stop. And so

15:24

they stopped. Like that's what you can

15:26

do. But until it's all been communicated

15:29

and people actually, you know, find out

15:31

what's happening. Yeah, it's really difficult to

15:33

know how to deal with those situations.

15:35

And so... Yeah, it was it's it's

15:37

it's pretty full on and I feel

15:40

for everyone every single person involved in

15:42

that situation because no one wants that

15:44

Absolutely, but it is a fun time

15:46

around Melbourne as you mentioned Matt O'Connor

15:48

you do pop into comedy Republic send

15:51

me a photo would love to see

15:53

you in enjoying your time there, but

15:55

Matt O'Connor you've been doing a few

15:57

sneaky gigs you're gonna get down for

15:59

a little spot in Melbourne this month?

16:02

Oh, I thought about it Diso, I

16:04

really did, but I'm sticking to Byron

16:06

Comedy Festival at the start of May

16:08

and then Brisbane Comedy Festival at the

16:10

start just a week after that as

16:13

well. So get your ticks now. One

16:29

of the door knockers for the

16:31

independent campaign the other day, Madokine,

16:33

somewhere around one and knocked on

16:35

someone's door to say, hey, just

16:37

with the volunteering for Alice Tyson,

16:40

is there any big issues you'd

16:42

like to hear, you know, have

16:44

politicians take care of a bit

16:46

better, but when the person opened

16:48

the door, there's quite like music

16:50

going on, and when it opened

16:52

there was the big waft of

16:54

marijuana come out of the door,

16:57

and they sort of spotted what

16:59

happened, and then the person said,

17:01

oh. Sorry, nah, ha, and then

17:03

started laughing, nah, sorry, I thought

17:05

you were my dealer and then

17:07

shut the door and went back

17:09

inside. Did they say, excuse me

17:12

sir, but I am your dealer,

17:14

your dealer in change, we're changing

17:16

the community. Well, my slogan is

17:18

a better deal for wanting. Exactly.

17:20

Well, careful who you promote to,

17:22

man. They might have seen that

17:24

on the back of the poor

17:26

volunteers, a t-shirt there, and there'd

17:29

been some confusion. But no, mistaken

17:31

identity can happen at the best

17:33

of times, and it happened to

17:35

an elderly couple whose house was

17:37

mistakenly raided by police recently, thinking

17:39

it was a drug den. Yeah.

17:41

Barry, who was 80 and Mavis,

17:44

who was 78, I don't even

17:46

need to say, I shouldn't really

17:48

need to say their ages. Like

17:50

if I say Mavis, you don't

17:52

go. But they were eating breakfast

17:54

on March 15th when the police

17:56

raided their home thinking it was

17:58

a drug den. And they thought

18:01

it was, they were growing drugs

18:03

because they had a therm, a

18:05

helicopter with a thermal camera on

18:08

it. They spotted the roof of

18:10

these, of this pensioner's house. It

18:12

was glowing hot. Like this place

18:15

was hot. And when you. And.

18:17

And. Apparently this is the way

18:19

they find drug dens because in

18:22

order to make plants grow indoors,

18:24

you've got to have that sort

18:26

of hot UV light on them

18:29

and you can see from a

18:31

thermal kettle. But just these old

18:33

people, just their poor bones were

18:35

cold. They just had the heater turned

18:38

up. And they get a visit from

18:40

the police. Nine officers charged into the

18:42

area. That is so full on. Like,

18:45

could you imagine? Sipping your tea

18:47

and eating your scones and suddenly

18:49

the just the riot police ram

18:51

rating through your door. Yeah, it

18:54

happened in the UK. There's a

18:56

photo of Barry and Mavis who

18:58

are looking a little bit shocked

19:00

because I don't know this at

19:02

what point does your heating turn

19:04

into drug den? I mean, Ian

19:06

Dyson would never get raided if

19:08

that was the case. His idea

19:10

of heating is put on another

19:13

jumper jumper. We're picking up nothing.

19:15

Barry's got a jump run in

19:17

his photo. I think, I don't know

19:19

if that's saying, you know, giving the

19:22

wrong signal or something like that, because

19:24

he should have just been wearing that

19:26

indoors. Have you ever knocked on the wrong

19:29

door, Matt? I have not. I did walk

19:31

into a hotel room recently, and

19:33

just start getting my things out when

19:35

I was like, hold on. There's a

19:37

pair of shoes in here already.

19:41

And someone was very much further

19:44

into the room and I realized,

19:46

the wait, the TV's on, like

19:48

I just did all this like

19:50

mental like, hold on a minute,

19:53

shoes, TV. Someone like, no, no,

19:55

I'm like, ah, ran out. So

19:58

yeah, that's definitely happened. a human

20:00

was already in there like it was

20:02

just they had their stuff in there

20:04

no they just gave the wrong they

20:07

just gave me the wrong room and

20:09

I gave me the keys to someone's

20:11

room and I just waltzed on in

20:14

with my bags and stuff so now

20:16

every single time I'm really nervous of

20:18

like whenever I enter a hotel room

20:20

and I do a little bit of

20:23

a hello sort of thing just in

20:25

case so the person didn't see you

20:27

and go hey isn't that the guy

20:30

from mother and son like there was

20:32

not not that No, no, they didn't

20:34

see me and I didn't see them.

20:36

Thank God. Well, just goes to show,

20:39

old people and drug dealers can get

20:41

confused. In fact, I saw Nick Shula

20:43

have a bit of comedy up on

20:46

the Comedy Republic YouTube talking about old

20:48

people and drug dealers getting confused because

20:50

they're always talking about the quality of

20:52

their joints. And I thought that was

20:55

very clever. Have us having joint troubles

20:57

when it comes to the hips and

20:59

the knees. And yes, we are going

21:02

to bounce from this joint right now.

21:04

As we say, goodbye to another episode

21:06

of Matt and Alex all day breakfast.

21:08

We're going to be back with you

21:11

tomorrow, same time, same place. So please

21:13

keep in touch with us in between

21:15

now and then on at Matt and

21:17

dot Alex on Instagram. And yeah, just

21:20

turn the heating down a little bit.

21:22

Yeah. Lest you need a new front

21:24

door. Oh, and back gate, apparently. They

21:27

came in. They came through both the

21:29

directions just one two three Nine offices

21:31

are right in your grill All right,

21:33

we're gonna leave you now. Catch you

21:36

next time. Bye. That's it. The all-day

21:38

breakfast kitchen is closed got something to

21:40

add to the show slide into our

21:43

diems at Matt dot and dot Alex