0:01

Welcome to the Maxwell Leadership

0:04

Executive Podcast, where our goal

0:06

is to help you increase

0:08

your reputation as a leader,

0:10

increase your ability to influence

0:12

others, and increase your ability

0:15

to fully engage your team

0:17

to deliver remarkable results. Hi,

0:19

I'm Perry Holly, a Maxwell

0:21

leadership facilitator and coach. And

0:23

I'm Chris Cody, Executive Vice

0:26

President with Maxwell Leadership. Welcome,

0:28

and thank you. for joining.

0:30

As we get started today

0:32

I want to encourage you

0:34

to go to Maxwell leadership.com/podcast.

0:36

Click on this podcast there

0:39

you can fill out a form and

0:41

you want to learn more about five

0:43

levels which this is ultimately what this

0:45

entire podcast is built off of some

0:47

300 and 32 as of today. This

0:49

is 32, yes. We were, I

0:51

was with the CEO and an executive

0:54

team just recently and they're like, how

0:56

many podcasts have you done? I said,

0:58

you mean, how many's Perry written? I

1:01

was like, it's over 300. So if

1:03

you want. Just to leave us a note, a

1:05

comment, a thought about leadership and how we can help serve

1:07

you, whether it's you and your team on site through training

1:09

or coaching, we would love to be able to do that.

1:11

You can find that form there. If you have an idea

1:13

for number 33, that would be helpful. That would be very

1:15

helpful for Perry, not Chris, but so go ahead and do

1:17

that. Well, today's topic is titled. It's not supposed to be

1:19

lonely at the top. Do you feel lonely in this podcast

1:21

after I'm just calling you out? Yeah, you're lonely at it.

1:23

No, I tell you. I was on a coaching call. It's

1:25

been a while since it happened, but it came up recently.

1:27

It's got me thinking about it again, but it was the

1:29

first call with a CEO of a large company on the

1:31

East Coast, and I was getting to know him. We were

1:33

talking, going back and forth, and I just, as I thought the point, I

1:35

said, tell me about the point, tell me about your leadership, tell me about your

1:37

leadership, tell me about your leadership about your leadership, tell me about your leadership

1:40

about your leadership, about your leadership, about your leadership, about your

1:42

leadership, about your leadership, about your leadership, about your leadership, about

1:44

your leadership, about your leadership, your leadership, your

1:46

leadership, about your leadership, about your leadership, your

1:48

leadership, about your leadership, your leadership, your leadership,

1:50

your leadership, about your leadership, about your leadership

1:52

He goes, oh, I wish I could, you

1:54

could, you're on YouTube, you can see me,

1:56

but, oh, Perry, it is lonely at the

1:58

top, it is so... at the

2:01

top. And I hear John Maxwell in

2:03

my ear, because John said, if you're

2:05

lonely at the top, you're not doing

2:07

it right. That's right. And so I

2:09

took a pause and I just said,

2:11

but I can't say that first call.

2:13

I didn't want to get fired right

2:16

away. I like to get fired over

2:18

time. Over time. Yeah. But I said,

2:20

well, I was on your website, I

2:22

see you have seven senior vice presidents.

2:24

What about them? And he goes, yeah,

2:26

I don't really like them. I don't

2:29

trust them. I thought, well, I know

2:31

why it's lonely at the top. And

2:33

then you're also going, hey, thanks, Chris.

2:35

We're connecting me with this CEO. I

2:37

appreciate it. Now I know where the

2:39

next 12 months of calls are going

2:41

to go. We can talk about this.

2:44

But what do you think about, have

2:46

you been lonely at the top? Do

2:48

you feel this? Is this a common

2:50

thing? at times I will protect my

2:52

team from certain pace certain situations and

2:54

I and as you're sitting there explaining

2:57

that and I'm beginning to think about

2:59

this I'm going when you do that

3:01

it does make you feel lonely at

3:03

times when you're doing that but at

3:05

the end of the day I think

3:07

that I don't necessarily feel that way

3:09

because I have a team that I

3:12

I trust, I trust the leadership team,

3:14

I think that's key in not feeling

3:16

that. And what he said, right, which

3:18

was, yeah, I don't like him and

3:20

I don't trust him. And so that's

3:22

why he feels that way. Yeah. Well,

3:25

I did, you know, we did develop

3:27

a pretty good relationship and I asked

3:29

him more about it. But he said

3:31

that he was always taught coming up

3:33

to not... build close relationships with the

3:35

people that work for me that because

3:37

you might you know I don't want

3:40

to be close with them because I

3:42

might have to fire them or I

3:44

might have to do you know have

3:46

to have a difficult conversation and I

3:48

really don't want to develop a friendship

3:50

with you because I might I have

3:53

to be your boss and that he

3:55

said if I do develop a relationship

3:57

with them but I have a close

3:59

relationship they'll bring me their dirty laundry

4:01

and he was really nervous about people

4:03

bringing their personal issues or their personal

4:05

challenges to him and I thought well

4:08

this is really kind of makes it

4:10

kind of understandable is that he's keeping

4:12

distance I've heard John talk about that

4:14

in his early career he said he

4:16

was actually taught the same thing stay

4:18

away yeah but then as you talk

4:21

about what his leadership is influence You

4:23

can't really build influence at a distance.

4:25

Influence is a little personal. It is

4:27

personal. And we were talking a couple

4:29

weeks ago on one of our podcast

4:31

about filling your leadership pipeline. I would

4:33

encourage you if that's something that you're

4:36

working on as a leader or have

4:38

a deficit and to go back and

4:40

listen to that and give you some

4:42

thoughts and ideas around how to do

4:44

that. But that is one of your

4:46

main jobs as a leader as we

4:49

talked about there was to grow the

4:51

leaders around you. And if you cannot

4:53

grow more leaders, or if you are

4:55

not growing your leaders, then it may

4:57

be lonely at the top, which may

4:59

have been one of as you began

5:01

to uncover, where he may have very

5:04

competent leadership team, but he was not

5:06

developing them. And then he felt lonely

5:08

at the top. All right, so the

5:10

truth about the top, as you talked

5:12

about, I'm not there, tell me what

5:14

is like. Talked about John and that

5:17

voice is in your head and saying,

5:19

you know, lonely at the top. No

5:21

one ever gets to the top alone.

5:23

Right? It takes a team. We could

5:25

give you a ton of analogies and

5:27

stories about that. Making it there is

5:30

essential to taking others there. You have

5:32

to work together as a team. You

5:34

have to have people with you. And

5:36

then finally, taking people to the top

5:38

is more fulfilling. than arriving there alone.

5:40

To be able just to celebrate together

5:42

when you achieve something and you get

5:45

on top is what makes it all

5:47

worth it. I totally agree. This leader

5:49

that I'm speaking about, his loneliness was

5:51

not a positional issue. It was a

5:53

personality issue. And he and I worked

5:55

on that mindset in our coaching over

5:58

the next months. And he He actually

6:00

was very pleased when he invited me

6:02

because you know what I'd like for

6:04

you to work with my seven senior

6:06

VPs and so we started as a

6:08

group and then a little someone-on-one's after

6:10

that but I got to work with

6:13

those seven and then it was interesting

6:15

to hear their perception of him in

6:17

a group call as they defined him

6:19

as that level one leader. He was

6:21

not, he didn't have a relationship with

6:23

us, he didn't, he didn't. reach out

6:26

to us. He didn't care about us.

6:28

He just wanted us to do our

6:30

jobs and that he didn't value them

6:32

as the people they were. And so

6:34

a lot of the value that we

6:36

did in this in this coaching was

6:38

he opened up and began to be

6:41

a relationship with them. They of course

6:43

were not trusting of that. They didn't

6:45

know what was coming from. Then they

6:47

got introduced to our coaching and that

6:49

opened up, hey, we should all be

6:51

more relational. And so seeing the bonds

6:54

between the seven and then back to

6:56

him, started to tear down these walls

6:58

and it doesn't have to be lonely

7:00

at the top. We can actually, if

7:02

you just follow these five levels of

7:04

influence, you've got the leadership, I'm the

7:06

CEO, but I need to have relationship

7:09

with these people so that they'll know

7:11

the three questions that I'm trying to

7:13

help them, I care about them, and

7:15

they can trust me. And now we

7:17

can build this. Hey

7:20

everybody, Ryan Leak here, and I've got

7:22

some exciting news for you. Data Grow

7:24

is just a few weeks away, and

7:27

it's happening on March 19th in Orlando

7:29

Florida, and I cannot wait to see

7:31

you there. I'll be talking about my

7:33

new book, How to Work with Complicated

7:36

People, and let me tell you, this

7:38

message has the power to change the

7:40

way you lead and live. And it's

7:42

not just me. John C. Maxwell is

7:45

going to be in the building, Tim

7:47

Tebo, Stephanie Chung, Jesse, Jesse. and an

7:49

amazing lineup of speakers will all be

7:51

there pouring into you. But here's the

7:54

thing. Seats are filling up fast, so

7:56

if you haven't registered yet, now is

7:58

the time. Don't wait. decision today to

8:00

invest in your personal growth. I'll see

8:03

you my friend in Orlando Florida on

8:05

March 19th. Let's grow together. I like

8:07

you talked about positional leader. It goes

8:09

right back to what we were talking

8:12

about the five levels of leadership and

8:14

so this this is something that Perry

8:16

and I talk about often and it

8:18

breaks our heart is that the organizations

8:20

around the world that we actually travel

8:23

to serve. So many leaders are stuck

8:25

at level one. They just stay right

8:27

there. They're a positional leader. And so

8:29

they probably do feel like it is

8:32

lonely at the top. And so let's

8:34

look at it this way. Let's say

8:36

I do feel like I am lonely

8:38

at the top. What can I do?

8:41

Well, the five levels leadership is a

8:43

great place to start. We'll just start.

8:45

You need to understand that methodology, right?

8:47

And at that is level one. We're

8:50

going to encourage you to avoid the

8:52

positional thinking. avoid the command and control,

8:54

avoid the hey, because I said so,

8:56

right, begin to understand what do you

8:59

need to be dealing with your team

9:01

to be able to increase your influence,

9:03

not just because you're not leading just

9:05

because the title on your chest. And

9:08

I also want to encourage you about,

9:10

don't just think about building a P&L

9:12

or a team or an organization. I

9:14

want you to think about building a

9:17

culture of leadership. And you can. build

9:19

a team, but man, if you build

9:21

a culture of leadership, the members of

9:23

those teams are going to change in

9:26

and out, right? You think about some

9:28

of the greatest coaches. We talk a

9:30

lot about sports on this podcast, about

9:32

NFL or even college football, and you

9:35

look at it, and the culture lasts

9:37

more than the team does, but when

9:39

the team comes into the culture, and

9:41

it's one of leadership, then it's not

9:44

very lonely. in that side of that

9:46

organization no matter if you're the newest

9:48

player on the team or if you're

9:50

a coach that's been there forever. I

9:53

think another thing you can do is

9:55

just be real. There's some there's some

9:57

upsides and downsides of success and failure.

9:59

and I thought that if you're so

10:02

enamored with your success, again, you're thinking

10:04

like I'm doing it on my own,

10:06

that you can look down on others

10:08

and that could cause. you know them

10:11

to pull back and stop associating with

10:13

you there's a that can make some

10:15

loneliness but also if you if you

10:17

have a failure you're not succeeding you're

10:20

failing that could be embarrassing shameful you

10:22

know other emotions rise and you pull

10:24

back from that so both extremes can

10:26

fuel this unhealthy separation from others I

10:29

want to you know have a balanced

10:31

view of success and failure so that

10:33

that I I know that our success

10:35

is together and so I want to

10:38

connect with you and go that level

10:40

two and level three yeah Third, understand

10:42

you're in the people business. Okay, let's

10:44

just stop here. I'll be traveling around

10:47

and people, you know, you're on planes

10:49

and airports and for those of those

10:51

of those of you that have been

10:53

listening a long time if you listen

10:56

to us, you know, Perry likes to

10:58

sit in airports or walk around airports

11:00

and force people to smile at them.

11:02

I at least try to have a

11:05

conversation with them. And as we're traveling,

11:07

hey, what do you do, what do

11:09

you do and talk about leadership development?

11:11

What does that mean? And is that?

11:14

And I'm like, do you have people

11:16

that work with you? Oh, yeah. Okay.

11:18

Well, you're in the people business and

11:20

we can help you with your people.

11:23

In essence, it doesn't matter your industry.

11:25

It doesn't matter what you're doing. We

11:27

are all in the people business. So

11:29

with that being said, let's just be

11:32

honest here, we've got to like people.

11:34

love all people but they got a

11:36

little bit alike and as John said

11:38

there's got to be common ground somewhere

11:41

even if it's 1% go figure out

11:43

what that is and be able to

11:45

to connect with them and so now

11:47

do this in the right way we

11:50

often talk about there's a fine line

11:52

between manipulation and influence it's the motive

11:54

behind it but make sure that you

11:56

are in it for the motive of

11:59

helping the people become better, bigger, and

12:01

more confident than they have ever been.

12:03

Well, I for John say, if you don't

12:05

like people, you're going to have a very

12:07

difficult time leading. Yeah. Because, and you do

12:09

need to love them. And you say, love

12:11

them. I don't even like them. But that's

12:13

right. We're talking about love as an action,

12:15

not love as a, I can't make you

12:17

feel anything, like being behind, being patient, being,

12:19

you know, selfless. Yeah. Another one, number four,

12:22

number four, I think it is, I think

12:24

it is, I think it is, would be.

12:26

We've got to buy into this law of

12:28

significance. John says the law of significance is

12:30

that one is too small a number to

12:32

achieve greatness. So if you are trying

12:34

to fulfill your vision for your group,

12:36

your team, your organization on your own,

12:38

then your vision is too small. If

12:41

it's something you can do by yourself,

12:43

then it's not worth doing. Make it

12:45

big and involve others and realize that

12:48

one is too small a number. B.

12:50

the law of significance happens when you

12:52

involve others in the vision. Yeah, as

12:55

I get ready to wrap up, this

12:57

is something that has impacted me for

12:59

a long time. I'll never forget early

13:01

on in my career, John, you know,

13:04

we'd be different places and he'd

13:06

introduce me and he would never say

13:08

that I work for him. He says I

13:10

work with Chris. And it was a small

13:13

way back then of letting people know

13:15

like we're a team like this is

13:17

a culture of a team and that

13:19

we're working on this and this is

13:21

what we're trying to accomplish and it's

13:24

never just about him now he may

13:26

be setting the vision but when we

13:28

are putting boots to the ground and

13:30

we're out there getting after it's up

13:32

it's about the team and that just

13:35

creates that team right so that when

13:37

we do accomplish whatever that vision is

13:39

that it's we're all together at the

13:41

top. As I finally just give you

13:43

a couple thoughts and wrap up. I

13:46

thought about this as I was

13:48

thinking about the content today. I've

13:50

accomplished some things personally, and

13:52

that's been a lot of fun.

13:55

But man, when I accomplish things

13:57

with other people and a team, it's

13:59

just... is 10X the excitement level.

14:01

Then I got to thinking about

14:03

from a sports analogy, I started

14:06

thinking about individual sports and I

14:08

started thinking about professional golfers. And

14:10

now more than ever, when a

14:12

professional golfer wins something and they

14:14

start talking to the press or

14:16

whatever, now you hear them talking

14:19

about their trainers and you see

14:21

the Wii and so there is

14:23

not even individual sports. That should

14:25

be lonely at the top. because

14:27

it's a team environment. So just

14:29

be aware of that and some

14:32

of the things that Perry and

14:34

I talked about and make sure

14:36

you understand that you do have

14:38

to like people to be in

14:40

the leadership space. You want to

14:42

carry your bag by yourself? Yeah.

14:45

You want to rake that trap

14:47

on your own? That's right. You

14:49

want to rake that trap on

14:51

your own? That's right. You want

14:53

to fly that plane? You want

14:55

to make the hotel bed, whatever.

14:58

You can do all that at

15:00

Maxwell leadership? You can also leave

15:02

us a question or a comment

15:04

and we love so much to

15:06

hear from you and we're grateful

15:08

that you would join us today.

15:11

That's all from the Maxwell Leadership

15:13

Executive Podcasts. Hey podcast listeners. Many

15:15

of you listening right now would

15:17

probably love the autonomy that comes

15:19

with owning your own business or

15:21

becoming a coach that helps other

15:23

businesses succeed. While we have a

15:26

phenomenal strategy where you are 100%

15:28

in control of your own business,

15:30

earning income on your own terms,

15:32

and have access to the people,

15:34

tools, and resources you need to

15:36

build a thriving leadership development business.

15:39

When you become a Maxwell leadership

15:41

certified team member, you join a

15:43

global community of entrepreneurs led by

15:45

our expert team of mentors and

15:47

faculty, including John C. Maxwell. You'll

15:49

also get one of the top

15:52

leadership certifications in the world next

15:54

to your name, giving you the

15:56

boost. you need

15:58

to get started.

16:00

Visit us online

16:02

at at .com

16:05

forward/ team to find

16:07

out more. out more.