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Welcome, Dumbheads, to to the Mega Dumbcast. In

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this series, In this series, we're

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examining every single page of page of

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of God, an of God, an from

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story from the scenario book, Gehenna,

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to determine what is the

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dumbest thing on each page. page.

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Every episode is one page, page,

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every episode is short. is short. The

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Crucible of God was published in

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2003 in 2003 by White Wolf. Tonight

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we're discussing page page of We're in

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In The Crucible Of God

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God scenario. last time Drama

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Club took a a trip to Las Vegas. It

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was all supposed to be so simple. to be so We

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made this new made this new friend a

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powerful, magical vampire, and on top

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of that, she's nice. We've met

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some powerful vampires. powerful vampires. ones as

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well. Rarely have we met a

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nice vampire, but we a a nice vampire. but This could

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be the start of a paranormal romance. could be the

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start of a the fiction right now,

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it's 2009. within the... We're We're at the

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height of twilight fever. Fever. Everybody's about nice vampires

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right now. I used to work with a

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woman. Her name was work with a smart. name She

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was very into twilight. She was young at

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the time, but into not young enough to

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say that without some embarrassment. like, I was asking

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her about it, to say do you get into

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about the story? Cause at the time I had

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read And I was and she said it was because

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Edward is a do you which further confused me. Because

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at it that he carries you around? The First All

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the time, that extension. was because

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Edward is a there might be a puddle

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which just in case me. Hop board. But

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But anyway, we met a nice vampire. Her

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name was Her name was we met her in Alaska

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while we were searching for some nukes. for

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some was like, And let's go hunt

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down hey, let's That'll be fun. a And

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Marcus is like, I know one in Vancouver.

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He's called the was like, I know want to eat something

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that's big and asleep? She was the and

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it was great. We went to Vancouver and we ate that guy. or

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she ate that guy. a sleep? She because that

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went so well, it was date, she's like.

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to Let's go we ate else.

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You pick. that guy. whom do you

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wanna eat? to like, And got some friends

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in Las Vegas. I hear they're being

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oppressed by an in Las Let's go hear

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an Angioluvian. She's like, great. So we

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go to Las Vegas. anted expecting it once again,

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we're going to hide out. Make our plan. She's

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raid on great. So we go to Las

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of our three nights of investigation

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trying to find and the again, we're the

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hide and we're busted. plan, do come, drag

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us out of our haven during the But then,

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night now, here we are. nights

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of investigation. as as

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the plot of this story prepares

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to happen in front of us. We

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are, after all the protagonists, this

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is how it goes. That's what it

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means, what meaning forward in front of, forward,

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in to the contest. the contest, In this

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case, meaning the drama, the person in front

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of whom the action happens. drama, the as they

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hang their chained of the the you know. So

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here we are, the their chained up. The up, waiting

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for the action to happen in front of

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us. I'm gonna read you now from the

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text. I'm paraphrasing slightly. in I'm

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going to avoid spoilers, and I'm

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going to replace us. Absamillard with Arecale.

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You'll remember, Absamillard was the the antediluvian of

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the Nosfrautu He's the one who's supposed

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to have kidnapped us here by

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default, us but. default, but this podcast

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version of of we already dragged him

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out of his his and beat his

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ass. beat So his ass, so it's Arackel instead. But different

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vibe. of the the prettiest of the

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vampires instead of the ugliest of the vampires,

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but to as needed that the text instructs

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me to do in the event that Absemillard

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is not available. Aracel or you can replace

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or with or whoever. or or whoever. whoever. Here's

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what happens. happens. Quote, for this climactic

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scene, the storyteller might want

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to create a horrifically a haven

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for baroque haven such as an art

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such as an station subway with staked

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and with hanging from chains, or

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a church now entirely or a with

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human bones. with human very stylish and not

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at all silly. and That's the kind

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of style Arachel has. of style poser

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to the fucking to the fucking Been

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around since ancient since ancient mess up of

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fakintemia. in the modern age. And

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she's like, like... Where I make

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my haven? my I know. I know. A

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church. But with bones, though. Quote,

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the Antediluvian has great power now, and

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it takes its time torturing the characters

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in between the questions. Quite possibly the

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ancient has disciplines that could force the

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characters to tell everything they know. The

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torture is just for fun. At

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last, the Antediluvian forces the Coterie

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to speak of Sarah. So

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Vampire Drama Club being tortured by

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Aracel just for fun really. Obviously she

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has the presence, she has the

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dominate, she has the aspects. And so

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eventually of course we tell her

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about Sarah. This cool vampire we

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just met, friendly vampire. And

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don't, by the way, don't judge Vampire Drama

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Club for writing her out. She's not really

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a, like we don't really know her. It's

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just, you know. sometimes you meet

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somebody and they want the same thing you

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want. They get it. It's just

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a copacetic relationship. It's like

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my daughter's kindergarten teacher. Mrs... I

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was gonna say, Mrs. Shenandoah. Yeah, I probably could

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call her by her first name here in the privacy

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of my podcast. It just feels weird with elementary

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school teachers. I don't know. It's like

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if Ms. Frizzle took the

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kids on an adventure somewhere and

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for some reason they had occasion to

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like, go into a smoky bar. which

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I know they're kids, but like it's Frizzle,

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she would do that shit. And then

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they walk in and they're learning about fermentation

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or whatever. And then there's like, This

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bearded man over in the corner who looks

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at Ms. Frizzle over his bourbon through the smoke

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and is like. Valerie and

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nods to her. wistfully. It's

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weird, although, you know what, It's

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It's hot. Of course, it's going to be

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hot. It's Ms. Frizzle. My digressive point is

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just that it feels weird to call an

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elementary school teacher by her first name. And

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my real point is we don't really know

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Sarah like that. So it's fine. Like we're

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being, we're being tortured. We're being plied with

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presence. Of course, we spill everything. Sarah is

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not going to hold it against us, especially

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because Aracel being a real dick Quote, Their

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captor laughs. That silly

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girl. I haven't heard anything about

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her in 5 ,000 years. What'll

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she do? Throw pots at me? Threaten

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to redecorate my haven? I assume that

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underthr... - of torture. none of us of us

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ventures to mention that you a incapacitate a

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toridor by redecorating clan It's the clan

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weakness. is too pretty, If a room is too

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pretty, they go into shock. burn

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on Sarah, it's a misguided burn on because but

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a burn nonetheless, because here's what happens next. when

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the building when the building starts to

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shake and rattle. Every mechanical device in

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the building dismantles itself. pop out of pop

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out of girders, bolts unscrew themselves,

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furniture slowly pulls and everything slowly pulls itself

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apart from whatever it's connected to. to.

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The The entire building becomes a loose

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web of girders, bricks, and slabs

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hovering in slabs Then, with a tremendous

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boom, with a the fragments of the building

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burst into the air and rain

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down over the city. burst into comes rained down

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over the city. She mentally pops the chains off

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of us, wraps them around pops the The two

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of them fight. us, And what do we do?

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around matters, but thank you for asking. and what

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The characters don't have to fight the ancients'

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minions, who sensibly flee. Instead, they

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must dodge and run themselves to avoid being

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crushed. See, we get to run to avoid

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being crushed. flee. We're here, we're doing Anyway, the two

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of them end up in a crater after

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a big fight. end up in a her fangs into

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a big then she drops her and laughs.

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her fangs into done it, she says.

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she drops her and laughs. a way

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out. done I don't have to be

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what my sire made me, I can

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be a god, a way out. this city,

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my be what my And then it says

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made her hand be the ruins of

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Las Vegas my up and And then it

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walls and domes of her hand less

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creative than actual Las Vegas. But

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she's tired, she just she's a big thing. a

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big fine. It's fine. Quote, can

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change you you my loyal loyal servants.

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calls to the characters as her own body

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begins to glitter. See what I tell you

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about fucking See, when I Actually, the book was published

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in 2003. This is, it's just a coincidence.

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was And I don't fucking want her to

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be our Edward is just a Our Valerie, maybe. And I

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I don't know. want Do you have a bus? Where are you going to take

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me? Our sorry to disrupt the

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know. Do a She's in the middle

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of the crater, she's glittering. me? Anyway. I

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can change you all, no

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more vampires, no more curse! Then,

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the ground ground beneath molds into a... enormous

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mouth and eats her whole.

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whole. The reign of The first the

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first gang has has begun. So she

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got eaten by a big mouth and

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that's it for Sarah. Big round of of applause

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for Sarah. Thanks for for showing up. What

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the fuck was the point of this

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story this story Why even do this? do this? dumbest

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thing on this page is, and it's

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and it's a culmination of a

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dumb thing that's been happening. been

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We're out minding our own

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business. our Here comes this

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random, nice, extremely powerful elder named

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Fucking Sarah, befriends us, us. seeming with no

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strings with no strings attached. make

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any doesn't really make any sense to do anything

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hang around with her in this fucking so we do

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so we do, from place to place. She eats some

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vampires that we lead her to. She to, of

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does all the work. all the work, us in the

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plans, which is nice, which is great. But we're

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we're just kind of along for the ride

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in her adventure. Then she's like, take me to

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an me to an So we take her there. We

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get kidnapped, we chained up to the wall and

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we get to watch while she kills the

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antediluvian. And then a giant mouth eats her and

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that's it. mouth Who the fuck is it. Who the

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What? is Sarah? I mean, I we'll hear a

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little more about this, but not enough for

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it to really make sense. make I don't

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understand why Sarah is in this story. In

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the story as written, we don't really

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talk about about Arakeel. We don't was inserted about

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because we already took on talk about Arakel. In

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a story that doesn't have room

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for the have room for the Toyota of the

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Antediluvians. and a we need a

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Sarah segment? did why the a is

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her name segment? And why does bother me.

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Sarah? It - really does bother You don't...

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And okay, a little time left in the

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episode. time kind of a short one. Feels

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like, kind of a you. Feels You give up. what

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you know about you give up what then know

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says, And then girl, I haven't

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heard anything about her in 5 ,000

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years. Did she used to go by years.

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Did Is that like to real? Sarah? name? Because

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else has, has, like, Arukel is

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is named and and she's

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alternately known as like the deity Ishtar.

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And as I And as I

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mentioned days ago, like, Absimiliard,

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Malcav, it's just it's just weird to

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have Sarah in the mix who already was

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as Sarah five ,000 years ago when Arkel

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apparently had some kind of

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beef with her over pottery

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or interior decorating or something.

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or Arkel even remember? remember like one

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person named Sarah? I mean I guess maybe

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she I guess maybe she recognizes her

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from her powers. the But if that's

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the case, this implies that these

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powers were singular thousand ,000 years ago, which

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only further makes it strange that

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we've got the one special, magical, nice

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vampire in the world world with took who took

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a to us. us so to us to speak.

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speak. Not a a glitter joke. I don't know. I just,

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know. I don't like I don't like Sarah's presence in

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this story. Her role is role is pointless is

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a as a character she just seems

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kind of basic. basic. If you're years old

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and immensely powerful and the of

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the of the has personal beef with you,

10:43

you should not be should not be a You

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should be You should be a Valerie. But alas,

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they rarely come along. along. And Vampire Club now

10:50

has more important things to deal with. then

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reflecting on their brief friendship with

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their friendship vampire. the friendly magical.

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The floor turned into a mouth and a trying to eat them.

10:59

Join me next time for that Join

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me next time for that on MDC, the Mega Dumbcast.

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This has been Mega has

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been Mega episodes New episodes

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drop every day except for

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Sundays, when all the week's

11:11

previous episodes drop in in one big

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Megasode the the patron's only RSS feed. If

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If you'd like to access

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that feed and support the

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show, the visit patreon .com/Mega Dumbcast. This

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theme song is song is Yeti

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Music, Yeti work you can

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find at work .io. at U -P -P

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-B -A -T B-A-T-I-O. Dumbheads, I will I

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will catch you next time. time.