0:07

Welcome, Dumbheads, to to MDC,

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the Mega Dumbcast. In In this series,

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we examining every single goddamn

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page of The page God, Crucible

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story from the scenario book,

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story to determine what is

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the dumbest thing on each

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page. Every episode is

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one page, what every episode is

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short. thing on Crucible of God was

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published in 2003 page, every episode is

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short. The Crucible of God

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was discussing page 207 of Wolf.

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We are on the the page

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of of The of God. of

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And it's time to talk about to

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talk plan. Sowat's plan. Sowat, aka Slack's man, approached

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us after we were attacked by, my

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is my fucking life? After we

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were attacked by the Gestalt of

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30 virgins, remember? And they they

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were chasing us down the streets of Salt Lake

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City and then a man in Lake told us to

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come to a church and hear his story. And then

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he told us about how only God could solve his

1:01

story, and then This shouldn't be your first episode of the

1:03

podcast. It's fine. a vampirism. This been

1:05

listening. You know where we are. Vampire Drama

1:07

Club is in a church. a church, listening to Sawa

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tell his story. tell his did that last

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time. that last time. Now, they're ready to

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hear the plan. the plan. here I quote quote

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page 206, but running. almost

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immediately to page 207, which is which is what

1:19

we're talking about today. Quote, stop the To stop

1:21

the reign of then, the the characters

1:23

must completely abandon themselves to God's

1:25

justice. They cannot cannot ask God

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for anything for themselves, even to survive.

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Their prayers must be entirely for the world

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the the rest of humanity. They should also

1:34

try to offer God some way in

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which their existence has served Him or served

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humanity. You know. You know, don't everyone

1:40

because a good boy. boy. A healthy

1:43

parent -child relationship. Quote, if they they can

1:45

manage that can serve can serve

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as conduits for God's judgment on

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the race of To To bring

1:51

judgment upon the non -localized Zamishi ante however,

1:53

however, the characters must become one with

1:55

it it letting it eat them. them. That's

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right. God God would love to judge

1:59

Zamishi. the Lugian, but can't until

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it eats you. Sorry. eats you. God

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rules. You would understand if are

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the were God. Just get You would understand if

2:08

you were Quote, Just get in his will mouth. the

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access to the himself will provide the

2:12

access to the is of Zamishi Tremere's

2:14

body is of has to call on

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the taint of merely has to call on

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the taint of invite in its blood by

2:21

invite absorption by the the As soon

2:23

as the Antediluvian manifests, the

2:25

characters must veritably throw themselves into its

2:27

jaws jaws. so that it diabolizes them by

2:29

reflex. by Not how not works, but I

2:31

mean, we're but I many layers deep into deep

2:33

not how this works, how we might

2:36

as well stop keeping track. well From now

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on, all bets are off. now on

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all bets the fuck happens just happens.

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Quote, soon as the antediluvian manifests, soon

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the characters must veritably throw themselves into

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its jaws the it diabolorizes them by

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reflex. throw believes he can preserve the

2:50

integrity of their souls for several

2:52

seconds at least. Then it's a race

2:55

between their faith and the of

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will. Mmm. Damn it! I can believe I

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can believe it. I But can I believe it

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fast enough? find I guess we'll find out. cannot

3:03

protect their cannot protect their

3:05

souls forever. resist the first cannot resist

3:08

the If they fail, the for long. If they

3:10

fail, the and consumes them and

3:12

owns the world chooses unless God chooses

3:14

to destroy everything. has no that God

3:16

has no option to everything. mercy to

3:18

fix everything. He would have to destroy

3:20

everything. He has no choice. is. That's

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what omnipotence is. bizaro Webstero Webstero -Webster agree,

3:25

omnipotence means means. no choice. So So that's

3:27

the plan. Salat is going to

3:29

be absorbed by absorbed by Now, you'll notice

3:31

that is not yet under the

3:33

control of Zemishi, and I don't know

3:35

why. Salat was not a participant

3:37

in the ritual. Salat is an why.

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just like all the other antediluvians who

3:41

are presumably now under the control

3:43

of... Salat is an What made just

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like all the other Why

3:48

will it not now make him

3:50

immune to being taken over? under

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the Unclear. Why couldn't other What made

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Salat immune unclear? We're done. Okay. Chris, remember, we're

3:57

done with that part. We're

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no longer. longer... Thinking about logic. Just let

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it happen. it mean, we have to take

4:03

certain liberties with the story. if

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we're going to achieve a

4:07

dramatically satisfying conclusion to our

4:09

18 year goddamn vampire campaign.

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18-year, God damn ends with

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all of us of us our

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prayers and eating our

4:18

vitamins our vitamins everything. solving Okay, so

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just Okay, so everything. Your

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mind is a blank, a the whole

4:24

whole never happened. The whole early

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2000s never happened. We're just here

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now, praying to Jesus to save us

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us from something called a vampire. Here

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we go. go. We are are now in

4:35

a section entitled The the end. it And

4:37

it begins with a description of what

4:39

happens if Vampire if Club is Club is

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You know what? what, fuck you in you and

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the he wrote on. We We don't want

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to do this. this. What happens? Quote, if the

4:48

if the characters refuse to join in in

4:50

plan, plan, he bids them leave the the next

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night. night. all right, I mean,

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it's not your church, but your church, but okay.

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just can't stop. stop. I'm sorry, even

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on the on of of Gehenna, I'm I'm like, you you

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own this church? I'm fact

5:02

-checking slacks, man. just, I'm I'm sorry. Quote,

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once the first the first his takes

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his body. He has no further

5:09

way to protect them. He will will

5:11

give them an hour to get away away. that

5:14

hour comes. comes, nothing Nothing happens. has

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has lost. over. Because nothing

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the because nothing the characters do

5:20

from then on can possibly matter. The

5:22

first infuses itself through more and more

5:24

of the biosphere of every living thing

5:26

is part of itself. Eventually, it

5:28

eats the characters. eventually it eats the Lombok

5:31

is a guy we don't care about. Lombock we

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guy don't. care I'm not going to tell you who he is. don't.

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So I'm if the characters tell the sacrifice

5:37

that if demands, he suggests the they

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not hunt for any blood that night,

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or the next night. that their thirst

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for shows a very sincere desire to

5:46

renounce the curse of their thirst hardly shows a

5:48

very sincere desire to and I've eaten a

5:50

number of Well look. Even aside from the

5:52

souls, I mean I I mean I Doris. Doris

5:54

was Doris was just a reporter for

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the Denver News. Remember when I got got people

5:58

killed by by dogs? dogs? at that production

6:00

of a Midsummer Night's Dream. I Night's

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Dream, I I am a pretty bad

6:05

person. person. And I I don't know if skipping

6:07

meals for a couple of nights is going

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to show a sincere desire to reform, especially

6:11

because if I I wanted to be a human,

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I would be one by now. I mean,

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we know how to become a human and

6:17

we just haven't done it. And that's

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gonna be true of any player character in

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this situation if I did wanna do it,

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I would have done it by now, right? did

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want would be out of the have done it. If I

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were I were playing a vampire who decided

6:29

he wanted to be human all of

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a sudden, I couldn't participate in this ritual.

6:34

I couldn't do this thing with Sawat. in

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But okay, I I guess we're supposed to

6:38

assume that this talk with okay, I guess we're

6:40

changed everybody's minds. There was a true change

6:42

of heart across the whole there group. And

6:44

we all decided, we all now really,

6:47

really, really want redemption, all now almost in a

6:49

patronizing way. We're like, in a God, please. way.

6:51

We're like, oh God, I know we messed

6:53

up, but we're real sorry, please. sorry, please. Personally,

6:55

I I have too much respect for to think

6:57

he's fall for this shit, but but okay. The author says

6:59

The author says he will, so he will. to feed for a We're

7:01

not gonna feed for a couple of nights. to I guess

7:03

that's supposed to make up for it. To me, this is

7:05

for your flowers for your partner after you fuck their sister,

7:07

but all right. mark in the I guess of is an easy So on

7:09

in the world of darkness, to so on we go. of the night

7:12

not going to feed it for the rest of the night tonight.

7:14

And we're not going to feed on Christmas the characters, the characters,

7:16

the characters, final final farewells. If the characters

7:18

don't take the initiative, Sawat suggests that

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this is the character's last chance

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to confess or forgive offences against each

7:24

other, say anything left Say

7:26

before, and generally tie up the loose

7:28

ends of their ends of their un I mean,

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this is good, this is good advice advice the players

7:33

a chance to wrap up their character arcs and

7:35

stuff. arcs I do feel it is undercut

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by the fact that the author is pushing so hard

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that there is a specific way we are supposed to

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be. way we are a specific lesson we are

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supposed to learn we choice we are supposed to

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make here at the very end. end. I

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can only be coherent with my with

7:49

my character to up to this point the

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the author is enforcing that it

7:54

must end in total submission to God, but

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okay, I guess we I guess we have

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our conversations when the the characters finish, Salat

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asks them to cut themselves so that

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their vitae flows. He sits cross-legged on

8:05

the floor and closes his eyes. After

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a few moments, he says, now. His

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skin sprays in bloody gobits as he

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almost explodes into horrid form. Only instead

8:14

of a head, he now has a

8:16

cluster of tentacles ending in fanged mouths.

8:19

The mouth tentacles reflexively dive for the

8:21

vitae. The characters don't have to do

8:23

anything except let it happen. I mean,

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an apt summary of this entire fucking

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scenario. We could have stayed in bed

8:30

for the whole apocalypse. As long as

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we came to Salt Lake City at

8:35

the end, to submit specifically to God,

8:37

we could have just like submitted to

8:40

the weight of life up to this

8:42

point, we'd be great, we'd be fine.

8:44

We'd be better off than we are

8:47

now, frankly. Quote, just like their embrace,

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they feel their consciousness slipping away as

8:51

their vision fades. This time, however, no

8:54

transforming Vite slides slides slides down their

8:56

throat slides down their throat to recall

8:58

them to darkness. They can feel the

9:01

warmth of Sowat's serenity and resolution around

9:03

them, underlain by the fierce rage of

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the beast that he, even he, still

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battles. Beyond that, they feel the cold

9:10

relentless hunger of the Zamishi anted allubian

9:12

as it tries to consume them. So

9:15

we have essentially been deablerized, but we

9:17

are being protected by an NBC's aura

9:19

of holiness and willpower and everything, since

9:22

remember, we are too feeble to do

9:24

anything. That is the axiom upon which...

9:26

This climax rests. We, the characters, are

9:29

too feeble to do or achieve anything.

9:31

Quote, this is the moment for the

9:33

characters to pray. Ask each player to

9:36

justify his characters on life. As Salat

9:38

suggested, has she done more good than

9:40

evil? Did she really strive to be

9:43

more than a beast? A path of

9:45

enlightenment does not disqualify characters. Even the

9:47

darkest, most frightening paths. Except the utter

9:50

degeneration of the path of evil revelations.

9:52

posits some transcendent value against surrender to

9:54

the beast. Even the road of the

9:57

beast? Okay. All right. Deep breath? Just,

9:59

well, any... Whatever. Whatever it takes to get

10:01

through it takes to get through the

10:03

page. to regain mortality, as in an attempt to

10:05

regain mortality. or half her path of

10:07

the character's humanity, or half

10:10

her path of kindred, eight difficulty nine

10:12

for most characters, or for for 15th

10:14

characters, or seven for 15th generation

10:16

vampires. vampires, the difficulty by one if

10:18

the characters gave an especially moving, farewell

10:20

scene or justification for her existence. for her

10:22

existence. Such classic world of darkness.

10:24

darkness. to to determine if you you have justified

10:26

your existence. Reduce the difficulty by

10:29

one. by one. If you successfully justified your

10:31

existence in a monologue to God.

10:33

to God, wow, minus one to the difficulty? Now

10:35

this is role-playing. Quote, the character

10:37

still must expend willpower points, but

10:40

not blood not blood points. is also

10:42

an extended extended role. protects the character's

10:44

souls for 3 turns. souls for three

10:46

If anyone can accumulate five successes in

10:48

that time. in that time, the

10:50

codery wins. right, high fives all

10:52

around. Listen up, up everybody. We got three

10:55

rounds. got Salat got Salot running defense

10:57

for us. He's out here here. furiously

10:59

on the board. board. Little X's and O's and O's and

11:01

stuff. I've got Salot out front. He's gonna

11:03

be providing a screen for us. So, a screen for

11:05

you're the quarterback. You've got the highest humanity.

11:07

We're all gonna be clearing the way for

11:09

you. In these three turns, to be clearing you.

11:12

you. In to justify your existence to

11:14

God. your existence to right? right? But But

11:16

make it quick! because we're because we're going to

11:18

have the the Antidoluvian up here. And if

11:20

he comes around he comes around Salat and through flash, you're

11:22

going to get sacked going we're out of

11:24

you're going to get sacked, ridiculous. going to time out.

11:27

Imagine your Chronicle coming down to

11:29

this. down I roll enough

11:31

successes to justify myself to myself

11:33

to God in rounds? Imagine

11:35

you were about to justify your existence to

11:37

God and the buzzer went off. God and the

11:39

buzzer went off. You're standing standing

11:41

there at the gates of the gates

11:43

of heaven. here on a here on

11:46

a provisional basis. basis. And you're like, well look,

11:48

I made some mistakes, but I was always driven

11:50

by the right values and I tried my

11:52

best to do the right thing. I tried to

11:54

be my best self when it really counted it

11:56

really I was working on a long on project

11:58

of self -improvement. And I think what... really matters

12:00

in life. Down you go. And

12:02

not just you, the whole fucking

12:04

world. God's like, oh, I'm sorry.

12:06

The answer we were looking for

12:08

was transcendent embrace of your fellow

12:10

human being. Not quite in time.

12:12

So anyway, after all this bullshit

12:15

that we've been put through in

12:17

this scenario, what it boils down

12:19

to is Zamishi was always gonna

12:21

take over everything. Salat was always

12:23

gonna resist and find us. And

12:25

Salat was gonna bring us in.

12:27

to his fucking holier than now

12:29

group chat to resist the Zumishianetelubian.

12:31

And it was going to be

12:33

left to us, not Salat by

12:35

the way. As advanced spiritually as

12:37

Salat is, Salat can't do this.

12:39

I mean it says in the

12:41

text, if we don't join Salat,

12:43

Salat loses. It has to be

12:45

us, it has to be vampire

12:47

drama club specifically to be worthy.

12:49

And please note... If we decided

12:51

instead of coming to this ritual

12:54

to just be human again and

12:56

like actually repent for what we've

12:58

done and what we are, we

13:00

would be human and we couldn't

13:02

be in the ritual and therefore

13:04

we wouldn't count. Only the members

13:06

of the codery who have chosen

13:08

to remain vampires this whole god

13:10

damn time. Only we count and

13:12

only if God personally thinks vampire

13:14

drama club have been good boys

13:16

and girls, will the earth be

13:18

saved? That's the theory on this

13:20

page. Now as to the reality.

13:22

This has all been Salat's plan.

13:24

Vampire Drama Club also has a

13:26

plan. The dumbest thing in this

13:28

page, and there are a lot

13:30

of options, it could be the

13:33

fact that your path rating applies

13:35

to this final role, like, that

13:37

if you have devoted your own

13:39

life to being something explicitly other

13:41

than human, that helps you to

13:43

regain your humanity at this last

13:45

moment and save the god damn

13:47

world, could be that, could be

13:49

the fact that Salat is not

13:51

under the command of Zamishi or

13:53

Tramir, for some reason that's never

13:55

explained, like that's a key thing.

13:57

The whole plot hinges on that.

13:59

It's never explained at all. The

14:01

dumbest thing on this page though,

14:03

ultimately, is that... This author expects

14:05

every, not just player, but every

14:07

player character to blindly accept the

14:09

judgment of God about what should

14:12

happen next. Like in a vampire

14:14

campaign, in a campaign where we

14:16

could be playing characters of any

14:18

personality with any value system, of

14:20

any faith, with any life experience,

14:22

and the end of the campaign

14:24

and the fate of the world

14:26

hinges on all of us deciding

14:28

that the Abrahamic God should be,

14:30

I don't want to say empowered,

14:32

but like... that we should form

14:34

a little cheerleader squad and cheer

14:36

him on and doing whatever he

14:38

thinks is best. And that's the

14:40

best and only thing we can

14:42

do to save the world. We

14:44

have to all get behind that,

14:46

and that's the only effective action

14:48

to take as the climax of

14:50

a whole goddam chronicle. I don't

14:53

think that players should be asked

14:55

to like believe in and fully

14:57

surrender to God as the climax

14:59

of all of their characters arcs.

15:01

That seems like bad drama. Also

15:03

potentially religiously, religiously problematic, for some

15:05

characters. potentially for some players. I

15:07

hate all of that and so

15:09

does Vampire Drama Club and so

15:11

they've decided we're not going to

15:13

utterly and unquestioningly surrender to God

15:15

to save the world. We're going

15:17

to take the little rascals around

15:19

here. We're going to put on

15:21

a show. Join me next time

15:23

for that on MDC, the Mega

15:25

Dumbcast. New episodes drop every day

15:27

except for Sundays when all the

15:29

week's previous episodes drop in one

15:32

big megasode on the patron's only

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RSS feed. If you'd like to

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access that feed and support the

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show, visit patreon.com/Megadumcast. This episode's theme

15:40

song is Santiago by Yeti Music,

15:42

whose work you can find at

15:44

Upbeat.io. That's UPP, B-A-T-A-T-I-O. Dumbheads, I

15:46

will catch you next time.