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details on qualifying items. Hello

1:03

and welcome to Memory Lane. I'm Jen

1:05

Brister and I'm Kerry Godleyman. Each week

1:07

we'll be taking a trip down Memory

1:10

Lane with our very special guest as

1:12

they bring in four photos from their

1:14

lives to talk about. To check out

1:16

the photos we'll be having a natter

1:18

with them about. They're on the episode

1:20

image and you can also see them

1:22

a little bit more clearly on our

1:24

Instagram page. So have a little look

1:26

at Memory Lane podcast. Come on, we can

1:28

all be nosy together. I

1:31

was very impressed with you the other day

1:33

because when we were last together I

1:35

was throwing up and you knew lots

1:37

of things that I didn't know. You

1:39

told me that I needed, like I

1:41

went home and I got the diary

1:43

light and I did all the things

1:45

you told me to do and I was like,

1:47

you know stuff man. She knows. Oh

1:50

my God. That's weird because at the

1:52

time I thought you were ready to

1:54

punch me in the face for suggesting

1:56

things. No, no, no, no, I was

1:58

in trouble when I was in trouble.

2:00

anything at the time but you look

2:02

fucking awful. I was looking at you

2:04

going she's sweating what's going on? I

2:07

could tell that at any moment it

2:09

was one of both ends and that

2:11

I felt for you because I've been

2:13

there and I know what it's like

2:16

we've all been there we know that

2:18

feeling where it's kind of the sweats

2:20

come and people is in the title.

2:22

Yeah people are talking to you like

2:25

don't talk to me. I can't, but

2:27

you were right, I did need to

2:29

go home and get like, rehydrate and

2:31

get my salt and sugar and all

2:34

that stuff. That's a few months in

2:36

India that taught me that. Let me

2:38

tell you. Where, I came home, Ben

2:40

went down, super drug, got me the

2:42

sashase and I went to bed. God

2:45

man. That's me and goat cheese, I

2:47

think we're done. I think so, I

2:49

don't think, or I think that might

2:51

be, or I think, I think that

2:54

might be, I think. That's that's Kish

2:56

over. Kish is dead. No, no, no,

2:58

no. Well, you're going to have a

3:00

Kish after that? The thing, no, the

3:03

thing is with that particular Kish, it

3:05

was a case. You, did you see

3:07

it? No, because you'd eaten it by

3:09

the time I arrived. It was a

3:12

massive disc, it was a case. You,

3:14

did you see it? No, because you'd

3:16

eaten it by the time I was

3:18

that much, Kish, I can't see your

3:21

show. The Brighton, Corn Exchange, which by

3:23

the way, what a beautiful venue. What

3:25

a room. What a gorgeous room. It's

3:27

been newly refurbished and it's lovely. It's

3:30

lovely as an, I tell you why

3:32

it's lovely, it's lovely in the audience.

3:34

Is it? Yes, I think anywhere you

3:36

are in that room, that's a good

3:39

seat. There's no shit seat. There's no

3:41

shit seat. Great. Well that's good to

3:43

hear because I was on the other

3:45

side. I was on the stage. Oh

3:48

you were on our side. Yeah it

3:50

would have been weird if you'd been

3:52

on our side actually. My friend Rosie

3:54

came and she seen music in that

3:57

room but not comedy. Oh was that

3:59

next to Rosie? Yes you were. Yeah.

4:01

I don't know why my voice got

4:03

so high pitched. But yes, it was

4:06

a very exciting Friday night Brighton gig.

4:08

Three shows into my tour. Look, it's

4:10

in, I mean, it's in great shape.

4:12

And as I said to you, on

4:15

the phone, that woman behind me, I

4:17

thought she was going to have an

4:19

asthma attack. Maybe she'd had some goat

4:21

cheese. Maybe. Do you know what? I

4:24

hadn't thought about that. And if I

4:26

had, I would have covered the back

4:28

of my head in case there'd been

4:30

any unnecessary spray. Who are you talking

4:33

to this week? Because as we just

4:35

explained, I was very very ill when

4:37

we did this record so I wasn't

4:39

there. No, you weren't there because unfortunately

4:41

Kerry you had absolutely horrific food poisoning.

4:44

Coming out of your ears, your nose

4:46

and your eyeballs. Yeah, so I abandoned

4:48

you and our lovely guests. You asked

4:50

me. So who were you talking to?

4:53

I was talking to the very lovely

4:55

Pierre Novelli. He's such an interesting bloke.

4:57

Honestly, I could have talked to him

4:59

for hours. He's really, and he's just,

5:02

and if you get a chance to

5:04

catch him, do stand up, he's really

5:06

funny. Anyway, I really enjoyed this conversation.

5:08

Here we are, this is me, flying

5:11

solo, chatting to the wonderful Pierre Novelli.

5:13

Don't say exposed egg ever again. That

5:15

is the most disgusting thing I've ever

5:17

heard in my life. Exposed egg. And

5:20

that is exactly what a key shes

5:22

is. All day. An exposed egg. But

5:24

it is a cooked exposed egg. True.

5:26

Although they, I don't know, do they

5:29

cook it enough? Well, my thing about

5:31

key shes, why is it like spongy?

5:33

What have they done to the egg?

5:35

I made the mistake once of thinking

5:38

to myself, you know what, I want

5:40

to make an omelet, but I don't

5:42

want to be dicking around with a

5:44

whistle all morning, so I'll use like

5:47

a blender to like blend the eggs.

5:49

Oh, no, that's going to be too

5:51

much air. So it was a kind

5:53

of egg foam blob I heated. It

5:56

was awful. Yeah, it didn't have any

5:58

density to it. No, I mean... It

6:00

was such an error. It's like trying

6:02

to cook the sea. The sea. Yeah,

6:05

you're basically cooking the foam. Like none

6:07

of it would, yeah, no, it was

6:09

a bit, I don't recommend. Yeah, and

6:11

not filling. How many eggs did you

6:14

use in the omelet? Just out of

6:16

curiosity. Sort of smelly ghost. Yeah, it's

6:18

horrible. Oh God. Well, thanks coming. I'm

6:20

sorry. Kerry's not well at the moment.

6:23

She might come back in a minute,

6:25

but she ate as we were talking

6:27

a very dodgy Kish. Yeah. But it's

6:29

lovely to have you, and I know

6:32

that you have got a book that

6:34

came out in July. What's it called?

6:36

What's it called? Why can't I just

6:38

enjoy things? Okay. And the subheading is

6:41

a comedians guide to autism. The publisher.

6:43

autobiography, those sell more from comedians and

6:45

I said, well it's not so I

6:47

won't. Which is quite autistic. That was

6:49

very on brand. Yeah. Yeah. And it

6:52

is a guide. It is a guide.

6:54

Like I use my memories. Yeah. But

6:56

only insofar as they're relevant. Yeah, you're

6:58

not covering every single thing. No. And

7:01

it's not about your career and comedy.

7:03

No. I'm using my memories as examples

7:05

to explain things about autism chapter by

7:07

chapter by chapter. It was easy to

7:10

structure at least because each chapter you

7:12

could be like, oh like food issues,

7:14

or like texture, you know, sensory stuff,

7:16

or like each category of something to

7:19

do with autism, you would lend itself

7:21

to a chapter. Whereas I guess it's

7:23

harder to structure something like fiction, because

7:25

you're going, well, what's happening in this

7:28

chapter? I have to structure a story,

7:30

nothing that suggests itself. Whereas a guide

7:32

is quite easier to structure, because it's

7:34

a guide. Where do you start? Where

7:37

do you end? Yeah, and also, did

7:39

you find that because you put it

7:41

into those chapters, rather than thinking that

7:43

you were writing a book, you were

7:46

just like... What I did with mine,

7:48

like with mine, mine was like a

7:50

memoir, but ultimately what I did is

7:52

I went, what's it like when the

7:55

kids, when we were trying to get

7:57

pregnant, what was it like, Chloe pregnant,

7:59

what was it like after that, what

8:01

was it like, do you know what

8:04

I mean? So I did every, so

8:06

I never considered the fact that I

8:08

was writing a book. This mountain. Yeah.

8:10

I'm not climbing a mountain, I'm going

8:13

ledge by ledge. Exactly. If I had,

8:15

for a second gone, go on. chapter

8:17

this bit yeah and I used to

8:19

almost think of it as I was

8:22

right and I don't know if this

8:24

is good idea but I thought of

8:26

it as writing a blog or something

8:28

yeah yeah and also I was lucky

8:31

because I wanted the book to be

8:33

something that you could just pick up

8:35

and if you were only interested or

8:37

worried about X you could just flick

8:40

to that chapter it didn't have to

8:42

be an order yeah yeah yeah and

8:44

so I didn't have to write it

8:46

in order and in fact shouldn't yes

8:48

of course so I sort of went

8:51

okay well where to begin and I

8:53

just chose the topic that I thought

8:55

would be the easiest to start with.

8:57

Yeah. Which is lucky because that was

9:00

like chapter seven or something. What was

9:02

the more of the first chapter you

9:04

wrote? Well the first chapter I wrote

9:06

was about executive dysfunction but not being

9:09

able to get things down or start

9:11

projects or so I thought that's quite

9:13

funny. I'll start with the problem of

9:15

not starting like that will be the

9:18

first one I write because I'm having

9:20

such a hard time starting this. if

9:22

you know for people who are autistic

9:24

that that is because I feel like

9:27

that could be for many of us

9:29

but what do what does that mean

9:31

executive dysfunction if you were to describe

9:33

it it's one of the things that

9:36

crosses over quite heavily with ADHD a

9:38

lot of autism one which used to

9:40

be called asperges has a lot of

9:42

crossover with ADHD right they're very similar

9:45

And executive dysfunction is up there. So

9:47

for example, my whole life, I always

9:49

thought to myself, why don't I just

9:51

do things when I have to do

9:54

them? Why do I constantly play this

9:56

fucking endless game of chicken with myself?

9:58

Where I just leave things to the

10:00

last minute or create all these like

10:03

little rules that I have to. I

10:05

can't start until I do the, no.

10:07

Who is it? Who is this for?

10:09

Who is watching me on CCTV going,

10:12

ah, good. And executive dysfunction is part

10:14

of that, just like an inability to

10:16

start, or if you're sort of all

10:18

or nothing perfectionist, that can be quite

10:21

a problem where you think, well, why,

10:23

if I start, then I've got a

10:25

flawed project. Whereas until I start, I

10:27

have a hypothetically perfect project. You

10:30

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10:32

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10:37

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10:40

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10:42

Beth and Steve. And it does

10:44

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10:47

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10:49

anywhere I can. One. Two. Three.

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11:36

terms apply. Well, do I ruin

11:38

it by making it real? Yeah,

11:40

yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know

11:42

what? It's so funny having... hearing

11:45

you say that because I you

11:47

know I can think of at

11:49

least two other comedians who have

11:51

had a quite a recent diagnosis

11:54

of autism who fit that to

11:56

the tea. Yeah it's one of

11:58

the big ones. Well,

12:04

we'll talk more about your book, but

12:06

I want to go to your photos

12:09

now. Oh yeah. Yeah, and I know

12:11

you said that they're not in order,

12:13

but let's have a look. Okay. I

12:15

mean, I think I can pretty much

12:17

guess that this might be the first

12:19

one. The baby picture is the first

12:21

one. Oh my God, you're... Pierre, you

12:23

are adorable. That is literally a cherub.

12:26

I'm one of those world... record-breaking weights

12:28

of birth weights. I think I was

12:30

average, but I was, yeah, I was

12:32

big. I wasn't that, I wasn't like

12:34

notably bigger than everyone else until I

12:36

was sort of 11 or 12. Right,

12:38

okay. But I was one of the

12:40

big kids. As the hormones kicked in.

12:43

And where did you grow up? Where

12:45

were you born? Born in Johannesburg, in

12:47

South Africa, and then we left when

12:49

I was, just before I turned seven,

12:51

we moved to the Isle of Man.

12:53

You moved to the, so you went

12:55

from Joberg to the Isle of Man.

12:57

The opposite, yeah. What? That must have

13:00

been quite the culture shock for all

13:02

of your family. Yeah, it was weird.

13:04

We, um... Because the Isle of Man

13:06

is very like, okay, so I've only

13:08

been to South Africa once and I've

13:10

never been to Johannesburg, so I cannot

13:12

comment on Johannesburg, but I think in

13:14

some ways there's like, like, I've been

13:17

to Durbin and I thought like for

13:19

a lot of... white people in Durbin,

13:21

their whole world was relatively small within

13:23

that community. And also just in South

13:25

Africa, especially in Johannesburg, anyone middle class,

13:27

your life is your kind of weird

13:29

fortified house, a kind of fortified shopping

13:31

mall, and whatever fortified office you work

13:34

in. Yeah, so it's quite. Yeah, so

13:36

it is quite insular. And you just

13:38

drive between them. It's a bit like

13:40

America in that respect. Like, you only

13:42

drive, you don't walk. I'd never walked

13:44

anywhere until I moved. Yeah. I didn't

13:46

know about the not walking, so. It

13:48

was only when we went to Durbin

13:51

and we were walking around and a

13:53

guy literally ran out of his shop

13:55

and said, what are you doing? And

13:57

where are you going? And I said,

13:59

oh, we're just walking. And he went,

14:01

you don't walk. He dragged us into

14:03

his shop and orders as a taxi

14:05

and went, wherever your hotel is, you

14:07

go back to your hotel now and

14:10

you stay there. And I was like,

14:12

oh, okay. Thank you. And what kind

14:14

of kid were you growing up? Weird.

14:16

Yeah, I did. But I was like,

14:18

South Africa is a strict country. In

14:20

South Africa, my parents were the cool,

14:22

chill parents. And my friends were like,

14:24

wow, your parents are nice. What do

14:27

you mean, like, strict in what way?

14:29

Like, uh... Quite conservative. Yeah, but sort

14:31

of socially conservative in the sense that

14:33

like, no swearing, like, don't say damn

14:35

or god or... Like people are quite

14:37

religious. Oh right I didn't know that.

14:39

On average you know. Yeah yeah yeah.

14:41

Obviously you go to Cape Town and

14:44

you go to some artists commune. You

14:46

can say damn as much as you

14:48

want. That's the only place I've been

14:50

to is Cape Town and it's just

14:52

felt quite liberal in that respect. Oh

14:54

yeah yeah but it just sort of

14:56

depends and it wasn't even for my

14:58

parents sake they were just like we

15:01

don't want to have to. get looked

15:03

at in a shop because we've got

15:05

a kid who from that is swearing

15:07

yeah yeah or blaspheming well you were

15:09

seven to be fair exactly yeah it

15:11

would be a bit weird but then

15:13

when we moved here I had suddenly

15:15

the strictest parents anyone had ever heard

15:18

of but nothing about them had changed

15:20

yeah yeah compared to all the English

15:22

but all that I think having immigrant

15:24

parents they are always strict so like

15:26

my mom was way straight to my

15:28

mates who had English parents and I

15:30

couldn't explain to them. They were like,

15:32

oh my mom won't let me do

15:35

that. And they were like, why? And

15:37

I was like, because she's, I mean,

15:39

foreign. She's foreign. She's foreign and she

15:41

said so and I'm not. And I'm

15:43

not. And I was never going to

15:45

argue with my mom. No, God, no,

15:47

no. No. But that's the thing when

15:49

I went around to friends houses and

15:52

stuff. I was like, from their parents

15:54

point point of view, Thank you for

15:56

having me in your home. It's like

15:58

an eight-year-old. And sort of, I found

16:00

it very difficult to learn. And this

16:02

is like an autism thing as well,

16:04

where I sort of thought, I was

16:06

much happier with a system of rules.

16:09

Like social etiquette. You go, great, I'll

16:11

follow the rules. And as long as

16:13

you follow the rules, no one is

16:15

offended. Perfect. And there's no gray. This

16:17

is this and the star. When there

16:19

are no rules. When there are no

16:21

rules. Oh. We're allowed to watch horror

16:23

films, but you're also the parent. So

16:26

that kind of thing, I just thought,

16:28

what the hell is happening? This is

16:30

chaos now. Yeah, but it was, I

16:32

mean, I mean, you know, I think.

16:34

I found it really weird going around

16:36

to mates' house and there was such

16:38

a chasm between what you were allowed

16:40

to do in varying degrees. And I

16:42

used to find that a little bit

16:45

discombobulating. But when you like to systemise

16:47

things in your brain and you're like,

16:49

okay, so I figured this out and

16:51

this will make me feel comfortable in

16:53

this situation. Also when you're a kid

16:55

you don't want to be around talking

16:57

to other people's parents. No. No. The

16:59

whole thing is like, right? And I

17:02

used to hate it when the parents

17:04

tried to be your friend. I was

17:06

like, because my mom would never try

17:08

to be any kid's friend. She's like,

17:10

you're in my house, these are my

17:12

rules, and you follow these rules on

17:14

the end. So any parent's like, hey,

17:16

so what have you been up to?

17:19

I was like, what is wrong with

17:21

this person? You're not my friend? Yeah.

17:23

Your kid is my friend, you weirdo.

17:25

Terry welcome back. I'm really sorry. We

17:27

missed you. I was sick in a

17:29

park. Oh God. Why didn't you want

17:31

to do a toilet? Call out. Well

17:33

I wanted the fresh air and then

17:36

was like, oh I'm going to be

17:38

sick and then we're sick and then

17:40

we're sick in a park. Oh my

17:42

word. So I feel like I properly

17:44

blended in to the London park. Yeah,

17:46

yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that park, a

17:48

few people have been sick in the

17:50

last. There's Pap, her, not Papa. They

17:53

might think it's morning sickness. I mean,

17:55

it's unlikely, isn't it? I'm not getting

17:57

a seat on tubes because people think

17:59

I'm pregnant anymore. It's the other option.

18:01

She's still down to earth. Yeah, she's

18:03

still in the park in the day.

18:05

She's still a bit of fun.

18:08

She's keeping it real. She's

18:10

keeping it real. Yeah. Yeah,

18:13

she's one of us. I'm very

18:15

sorry. Oh yeah, one of all

18:17

the blokes that push, puke

18:20

in the box. Yeah, well,

18:22

let's go to your, now

18:24

that Kerry has arrived. Oh,

18:26

let's go to, now that Kerry.

18:28

Oh cute! Well babies are cute. I

18:31

know, but some babies are cute,

18:33

but they're kind of like, they're

18:35

not faces, isn't it right? I

18:37

was the face of snappy nappy

18:39

fasteners. Snapping. Snappy napping.

18:42

Snappy napping. That was big

18:44

in South Africa. Yeah, well, because

18:46

in Africa, South America, Asia, the

18:48

nappies are cloth nappies, you know,

18:51

which is a bit more of a

18:53

kind of hippie thing here, isn't it

18:55

green, green, reusable. We had those so, those

18:57

nappies, those nappies, we tried those and we

18:59

did it for about, I don't know. We

19:02

lived in Brighton, you'd get like kicked out

19:04

if you don't try. Yeah. You did it for

19:06

a month and eventually you thought, you

19:08

know what, it's the 21st century. We literally, we

19:10

had twins, you see, so we never had

19:12

enough nappies ready. No. So we'd like.

19:14

Sometimes you put an appie on and

19:17

they would literally shit the minute you put

19:19

it on you. I'm gonna have to take it

19:21

off. All right now I've got to wash it.

19:23

Yeah You don't have a constantly simmering

19:25

tub in the garden. I'm not boil

19:28

washing like nappies all the live long

19:30

day after spray washing the shit off

19:32

them. Yeah, but a snappy nappy fastener

19:34

was so that you don't have to use

19:36

a big dangerous safety pin. Oh the

19:39

big pins. Is that what you've got what

19:41

you've got on there? South Africa then Isle

19:43

of Man. We got in trouble. I got

19:45

in trouble for saying negative things about

19:47

it. Did you? You've been officially banned. Yeah.

19:49

I've been cancelled by the Isle of Man.

19:51

This is the second podcast I've gone on

19:54

with someone who has been cancelled. Frank was

19:56

very funny about having what he thought was

19:58

a bad gig on the island. Okay. It

20:00

probably wasn't. He's just a high standard.

20:02

I was going to say his version of a

20:04

bad game. Yeah, yeah. But the All of Man

20:07

Press loves any mention of it. Right. So the

20:09

second you mention it. I mean, I'm amazed that

20:11

they went quick with that. Yeah. Well, there's

20:13

not much else to, you know. But what,

20:15

are they just scouring every podcast for a

20:18

mention of the All of Man? Someone

20:20

will tell someone who'll tell someone

20:22

every time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's a small place.

20:27

That's one of my photos is me

20:29

graduating Let's have look at this picture. It's

20:31

very medieval looking I thought that's why

20:34

I picked it it looks like something from Star

20:36

Wars Well, I feel like there's something

20:38

there's so many things about like which

20:40

I imagine you take for granted if

20:42

you go to the an institution like

20:44

Cambridge or Oxford and the buildings that you

20:46

study in and the halls that you

20:48

live in and everything is a little

20:50

bit Hogwortsey. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it feels

20:52

like everything is kind of setting you up

20:55

so that you can then work at the

20:57

old Bailey or you can work in

20:59

the House of Commons. Yes, oh, this

21:01

feels familiar. Yes, I'm used to turrets.

21:03

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's what

21:06

it's designed for. But my

21:08

experience of university was like

21:10

prefab buildings. Yes, nothing works.

21:12

There's never any central heating.

21:14

One hour of contact a

21:16

month. Yeah, one hour of contacts a

21:18

month and you're. look like I don't know

21:20

it just look this almost otherworldly

21:23

for me Cambridge and Oxford.

21:25

The year that I started there was

21:27

the 800 year anniversary of it being

21:29

founded and you just think it's almost

21:31

a thousand years of crazy nerds. Yeah

21:33

yeah. There's so many nerds for so

21:35

long but it's just... I know a

21:37

monk's at the start, although I was just

21:39

monks, everyone was a monk. Is that

21:41

right? Yeah. I mean, I literally don't know

21:43

the history of Cambridge University. It got founded

21:46

by a bunch of monks who had a big

21:48

argument with Oxford in Oxford and they left and

21:50

went, well, we're going to do our own union,

21:52

the swamp, so fuck you. And they went and

21:54

did. That's why Cambridge exists and that's why they

21:56

don't like each other. And that's why Oxford

21:59

think, always thinks. superior to Cambridge

22:01

is like guys you're a subsidiary of

22:03

us okay yeah yeah I didn't know

22:05

that. So I mean like I don't

22:07

know did what was it what was

22:09

the social life like I mean did

22:11

you guys and and did you do

22:14

any did you ever sort of like

22:16

dabble in any sort of creative stuff?

22:18

I did a lot of comedy yeah

22:20

did you? Yeah I did some plays

22:22

and sketch shows and I did probably

22:24

too much. It's quite strict because it's

22:26

like this medieval institution. You're

22:28

at colleges really, there isn't really a

22:31

uni. You have to choose a college,

22:33

right? So I was at Corpus Christi

22:35

College and people that can be at

22:37

like King's College or, you know. Yeah,

22:39

yeah. And you're housed in there. You

22:41

have to live in, if you want

22:43

to live in like a student house,

22:45

like in a road, like a normal

22:48

house, like a normal house, you have

22:50

to get a letter of permission. There's

22:52

a bar in the college, there's a

22:54

dining hall, there's a dining hall, there's

22:56

a dining hall, there's a dining hall,

22:58

there's a dining hall, there's a dining

23:00

hall, you, you, you, you, you, you,

23:02

you, you, you, you, you, you know,

23:05

you, you, you know, you know, you

23:07

know, you, you, you know, you, you

23:09

know, you, you know, you, you, you

23:11

know, you, you, you know, you, you,

23:13

you, you, you, you, you Or if

23:15

you go do like a sport or

23:17

you're in a lecture, then you're mixed.

23:19

So it's very like odd and hard

23:22

to sort of comprehend until you're in

23:24

it. And then I said to my

23:26

college's like tutor, because they can ban

23:28

you from doing stuff. I knew a

23:30

guy who got too low a grade

23:32

and so they banned him from doing

23:34

plays because he was doing so many

23:36

plays. How can they ban you? Because

23:39

it's not like a free uni. It's

23:41

like halfway between a school and a

23:43

uni in terms of the power. Some

23:45

of the colleges had curfies had curfies

23:47

had curfies. They lock all the doors

23:49

and you had if you'd have to

23:51

like wake up a guy to let

23:54

you in. I could have handled that.

23:56

I could not handle that. A lot

23:58

of people hated it. Yeah, I just

24:00

I mean the beauty of university was

24:02

that it was entirely up to you

24:04

what you did when you did it

24:06

and if you turned up and if

24:08

you didn't that was kind of your

24:11

problem like and lecturers were literally like

24:13

that if you don't mean I literally

24:15

don't give a shit mate. So there

24:17

was still a bit of that but

24:19

it was it was it was it

24:21

was it was rarerarer it was rarererer

24:23

it was rarer. And characters and stand

24:25

up. And stand up. Yeah, I always

24:28

would like to stand up. Let's move

24:30

on to your next photo. I think

24:32

it's, is this, is this it? So

24:34

what's going here? Just as a pirate.

24:36

Yeah, I mean, that co, I actually

24:38

thought you were wearing his fashion, but

24:40

what are you doing here? I wish

24:42

I was that kind of person. That's

24:45

my first ever fringe. Look at your

24:47

beard. Not as lustrous as it is

24:49

like, well patchy. And what were you,

24:51

what was the play? It was a

24:53

play, right? Well, I guess you'd call

24:55

it a play. What would you call

24:57

it? So there's an amazing man who,

24:59

if you find, people can find him

25:02

on Instagram. He's still a sort of

25:04

performer and writer and director and things.

25:06

It's called William Seawood. And he's sort

25:08

of an enormous booming Brian blessed sort

25:10

of figure. Okay. And he was doing

25:12

a master's. And he said, he'd already

25:14

done loads of like fringe stuff and

25:16

theater stuff and theater stuff through being

25:19

at York. You know, see, he's an

25:21

older, he's a post grad. Yeah. And

25:23

he said to me and, you know,

25:25

George, four acres, he was sort of

25:27

in the sketch group with Phil Wang,

25:29

Daphne. No, I don't think I know

25:31

George. Me and George and a few

25:34

other people, he said, I'm going to

25:36

sort of do this thing at the

25:38

fringe for two weeks, and it's going

25:40

to be a sort of, like family

25:42

friendly, like, everyone kind of fun play,

25:44

and it's going to have no dialogue.

25:46

And it's just going to be sort

25:48

of mime with a kind of live

25:51

folk band providing music. How old, sorry,

25:53

how old were you at this point?

25:55

Okay, that makes sense. Because there is

25:57

no way of God's green earth. You

25:59

would have done that later on. No,

26:01

no. And I'd never done the fringe.

26:03

I'd never been, I had no idea

26:05

what it was like. And it blew

26:08

my brain. What year was that? 2010.

26:10

2010. It's called Silent Cannon Fire. Actually

26:12

I wasn't there that year, 2010. So

26:14

you missed it. I missed that year.

26:16

You missed our two-week zoo roxy. Zoo

26:18

roxy! What a great venue though! It

26:20

was mad, yeah, but it was really

26:22

good fun. Very silly. So let's look

26:25

at your next photo. So your next

26:27

photo is, I'm guessing, is it here,

26:29

are you, what, what, what, what, what,

26:31

what, what, what, what, what, what, what,

26:33

what, what, what, what, what, what, what,

26:35

what, what, what, what, what, what, what,

26:37

what, that's, from, I, so, can I

26:39

just say, You look like you're 34

26:42

and you look like you've just left

26:44

Afghanistan. You absolutely do. Honestly, if you

26:46

were in the army you could see

26:48

that I was a cadet because I've

26:50

got that funny thing on my arm.

26:52

And I'm also, and you're also 16.

26:54

But you've got stripes. Well, cadet stripes.

26:56

Yeah, I was, I taught drill. You

26:59

taught drill. So you were an army

27:01

cadet in the island van. Yes, yeah.

27:03

Did you want to join the army?

27:05

For a while, yeah. I was keen.

27:07

I sort of thought. You do not

27:09

strike me as a man that would

27:11

ever join the army. Well, I wrote

27:14

about this in the book actually because

27:16

I found doing like army cadet stuff

27:18

really useful in the sense that going

27:20

back to we were talking about at

27:22

the start executive dysfunction. I remember the

27:24

way that like army instructors talk to

27:26

you is very accessible because it has

27:28

to be. Because all sorts of. crazy

27:31

people join the army of all sorts

27:33

of levels of intellect. So it has

27:35

to be comprehensible to everyone. Yeah. If

27:37

only for safety reasons. Yeah, yeah. No

27:39

confusion, please. This is too high-stakes situation.

27:41

So they're very, they start from zero.

27:43

There's nothing presumed. And so you never

27:45

really feel left behind. You might feel

27:48

patronized. But I remember being taught how

27:50

to fold like roll up my sleeves.

27:52

Like there's an official way to roll

27:54

up your sleeves, which sounds mad. But

27:56

I did think. Now I will

27:58

always do that correct. And I always fold my,

28:00

I roll my sleeves up very neatly when I'm

28:03

wearing a shirt or whatever and it looks good

28:05

and you go, yeah, that's exactly, oh great. And

28:07

little skills like that or I remember one of

28:09

the training team, because we were sort of dick

28:11

around on our own like in school and then

28:14

a couple of times a year we would go

28:16

do something like what that photo is where we'd

28:18

go train and an actual sort of base in

28:20

England and it was a sort of big adventure.

28:22

And this guy, he was a captain from the

28:24

captain from the Yorkshire. regiment. And he said, I

28:27

know where everything is on my body at all

28:29

times. My keys are here, my medi pack or

28:31

whatever is here, my first aid kit is here,

28:33

and my map is here, and my map is

28:35

here, and my binoculars are here. Everything had a

28:38

system. And he said, you need to be able

28:40

to know where everything is in all of your

28:42

pockets, even blindfolded. And it has to be the

28:44

same every day. I need to do that. Yes!

28:46

Because I would lose things constantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

28:49

I would never have anything I needed. I would

28:51

go to class and the French teacher would say,

28:53

do you have your project? And I'd go, let's

28:55

find out. And I'd open my bag and go,

28:57

you and I'd have the same level of knowledge

28:59

about if it's in here or not. I don't

29:02

know. And I would just look. And it was

29:04

a nightmare, because I didn't enjoy, I wasn't one

29:06

of those kids that's like chaotic, that's like, that's

29:08

like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like,

29:10

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

29:13

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

29:15

like, like, like, So the stuff they teach you

29:17

is very sort your shit out based. Yeah. Because

29:19

some people join the army and they're a mess.

29:21

And they have their jobs to turn you into

29:23

not a mess. So a lot of the instructions

29:26

and stuff that I learned, I thought this is

29:28

great. This is really useful. And it's very confidence

29:30

building because they're used to actual 16 year olds

29:32

joining the army, 17 year olds. So they talk

29:34

to you like an adult. And the training is

29:37

like, you're in charge of these other five. people

29:39

from your school and you have to go do

29:41

this like long hike with no With a map

29:43

and a compass figure it out. We'll see you

29:45

there and they drive away and you to

29:48

do a big hike

29:50

across some mountains. It's great.

29:52

So it gives you

29:54

confidence because they trust you.

29:56

They trust you. And

29:58

they've given you responsibility. And

30:01

you have to, and

30:03

so you want to meet

30:05

their expectations. Expectations, yeah.

30:07

And these are sort of...

30:09

And also they're giving

30:12

you clear instructions about what

30:14

to do. And I

30:16

bet that was lovely. The

30:19

idea of constantly having clear instructions and

30:21

badges that literally tell you how important everyone

30:24

is. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I understand this

30:26

system. Yeah. How do you know he's in

30:28

charge? He's got a big hat. He's

30:31

got a big hat with all gold bits on.

30:33

So he must be in charge. Easy, easy.

30:35

But you didn't want to like pursue it as

30:37

a career. I mean, because that would be that

30:39

sort of next level, isn't it? The thing

30:41

that they wanted at the time, this isn't the

30:43

naughties. And a couple of the training team were

30:45

like, well, they were all, they'd all been

30:47

to war. Yeah, well,

30:49

there's been a lot of war at

30:51

that point, yeah. And so they'd all

30:53

been to war. They'd all done it.

30:55

And also, you know, whatever Northern Ireland

30:58

or Bosnia or whatever. And they did

31:00

say, I remember, one of them said,

31:02

you know, if this was 1992, I'd

31:04

say go for it. But these days.

31:06

What do you mean? Why was it

31:08

different in 1992? The boring stuff to

31:10

do is like pensions and wages and

31:13

like the kind of stuff. Just literally

31:15

as a job. Not like just better

31:17

wars back then. Just way more fun.

31:19

Well, no, maybe not more fun, but

31:21

less, less odd than some of the

31:23

parts of the Afghan campaign where you

31:25

just think, what are we doing here?

31:29

So some of them were quite jaded about it.

31:31

But that's again, that's interesting as a as a

31:33

15, 16 year old, you're being spoken to about

31:35

something in a mature, clear way. It's not like,

31:37

well, you better do your tie up. There's being

31:39

spoken to like another adult and it's very nice.

31:41

And they weren't. And what I liked about it

31:43

is that that to me was proof that this

31:46

wasn't just some kind of propaganda campaign to get

31:48

us all to join the army. They were very

31:50

reasonable about it. And they were like, you're a

31:52

great cadet, but probably not. Ryan

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Light.com/Spotify Spotify. So we've got

33:35

what I think we have one more

33:38

photo here, and this is such a

33:40

cute picture of you in a pool

33:42

Who's this young lad? That's my

33:44

nephew That's my nephew. You

33:46

look like you're doing top

33:48

uncle fun Yeah, yeah, I've got two

33:51

nephews. He's he's one of the two

33:53

and I've got one niece, but she's

33:55

not old enough to be held

33:57

into into into into a pool

34:00

holiday I like that photo because we're

34:02

on a holiday is a big kind

34:04

of family thing and I I made

34:06

an uncle mistake which was mmm which

34:08

is my comedy character uncle mistake no

34:11

I mean it's quite a fun name

34:13

although it could also be quite dark

34:15

but anyway carry on anyway I thought

34:17

my nephew would and he's like jumping

34:20

in and out of the pool and

34:22

messing around and I thought he would

34:24

enjoy slash it would be kind of

34:26

fun bants or whatever to shove him

34:28

in the pool and he had an

34:31

absolute freak out. He hated it. The

34:33

shock of being suddenly pushed in the

34:35

water. It was not the right thing

34:37

to have done at all. How old

34:40

is he? Or how old was he

34:42

at that time? Seven, eight? No, five,

34:44

six. Yeah, of course he does. But

34:46

and like and he enjoys like my

34:48

thing is that I can you can

34:51

I lift them up and I'd spin

34:53

them around and you know I fight

34:55

them with pillars and things so I

34:57

yeah I thought oh okay yeah no

35:00

not that yeah that a couple years

35:02

early maybe so then in order to

35:04

engineer he was very like like how

35:06

you have betrayed the uncle bond by

35:08

pushing me in the pool and he

35:11

was very sort of like that wasn't

35:13

not he was really upset about it

35:15

yeah and so me and my sisters

35:17

constructed a kind of revenge on you

35:20

yeah okay great to create a sense

35:22

of justice yeah yeah which I guess

35:24

you're like this is the perfect thing

35:26

yeah yeah so we constructed the scenario

35:28

in the photo which is me being

35:31

shoved in by him, in quotes unexpectedly,

35:33

and me having like a massive reaction

35:35

to it. No! Because I find that

35:37

the thing they love most is to

35:40

be, to have an effect. Yes. Because

35:42

they don't have an effect on anything.

35:44

children. So what I like doing is

35:46

anything they say to me that's like

35:48

an insult. I react as if it's

35:51

like destroyed my sense of self. Yeah,

35:53

yeah, they do love that. And it's

35:55

true because almost every aspect of their

35:57

life they're not in control of. No,

36:00

and they have no impact. No, no.

36:02

So to be able to do that

36:04

is, yeah, if you can engage with

36:06

kids and do that, that is really

36:09

important. When my other nephew, his younger

36:11

brother, the other nephew, he says to

36:13

me, you know, you know, you know,

36:15

you know, you know, you know, It's

36:17

always fun to go, no! Like grab

36:20

your eyes, like bomb eyes? And they're

36:22

like, yeah, because they're... Bomb eyes is

36:24

good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love

36:26

bum eyes. In fact, normally the insults

36:29

are terrible, but bum eyes is actually,

36:31

two little, two little sphinters for eyes.

36:33

Bomb eyes is funny. That is great.

36:35

He also, he went through a phase,

36:37

kind of torso. and saying, you big

36:40

strong man! Hello, you big strong man,

36:42

bumice! So alternating between bumice and sort

36:44

of this kind of slightly patronizing complement,

36:46

it's very funny. Pia, this has been

36:49

so fun, thank you for showing us

36:51

your great photographs. Thank you for having

36:53

me. And tell us... Your book? Yes,

36:55

so it's Why Can't I Just Enjoy

36:57

Things, a comedian's guide to autism, out

37:00

in paperback on the 27th of March?

37:02

Pierre, thank you so much. Thank you

37:04

for having me. It's been an absolute

37:06

pleasure and a delight. I don't really

37:09

like that HD is brought up my

37:11

hairpiece. Oh, what's going on there? What

37:13

do you mean? What's going on there?

37:15

I've got... Oh, now I see. Well,

37:17

fortunately for you I couldn't see without

37:20

my classes, but now I see. I've

37:22

just had children coming up to me.

37:24

Your children or just strangers? strangers actually

37:26

what's wrong with your face and I'm

37:29

like I had to think about the

37:31

few things what could I mean could

37:33

it be my eyes could it be

37:35

my head and then I realized it

37:37

was my lip but very very direct

37:40

aren't they children just like I know

37:42

like the parent but I don't know

37:44

the kid what's wrong with your face

37:46

oh hello who are you? they go

37:49

straight in oh you've got something weird

37:51

on your face I actually saw Susie

37:53

ruffle and and Alice and her daughter

37:55

said she went Jen what's wrong with

37:58

your face I I don't know what

38:00

to tell you. I was born this

38:02

way. And then she jabbed at my

38:04

cold sore. Yeah. Is that a stress?

38:06

I'm very fortunate, Kerry, actually. And you

38:09

might not have this good fortune. But

38:11

I have the herpes gene. Oh. This

38:13

is very fortunate. It's in my blood.

38:15

I cannot get rid of it. So

38:18

when I... I don't think it's a

38:20

gene. Whatever it is. someone's gonna text

38:22

me or write to me or leave

38:24

a comic going it's not actually a

38:26

gene gen it's a blip blip blip

38:29

bli okay whatever it is whatever the

38:31

thing is I've got it okay and

38:33

when I get stressed I want to

38:35

get tired that's where it comes out

38:38

it pops up its little head and

38:40

says you haven't seen me for a

38:42

while and I say I didn't want

38:44

to actually you don't get cold sauce

38:46

I get yeah now and then but

38:49

not that often I get sometimes I

38:51

get them here in the corners these

38:53

little friends. Yeah, yeah, sometimes I used

38:55

to get like Imba Tygo halfway out

38:58

my face. Oh no. Yeah, is that

39:00

part of that gene? I don't know.

39:02

I used to have Imba Tygo coldsaws

39:04

and Exma. Wow! Like kind of medieval

39:06

Impa Tygo sounds a bit medieval. I

39:09

looked like I had scurvy or something

39:11

like why has give that child some

39:13

vitamin vitamin C for the love of

39:15

God, but yeah. That's it. But now

39:18

it's coming back. I like to think

39:20

of it as me reliving my youth.

39:22

Well the good news is you're going

39:24

to Scotland so you'll really make sure

39:26

you get lots of nutrients because the

39:29

food up there and the light and

39:31

the warmth you're really good. Yeah they've

39:33

all got to be great. Yeah yeah

39:35

they'll be like oh there she is

39:38

she's one of us. I've just been

39:40

sucking on a lime for the entire

39:42

time. Yes I can't wait I'm going

39:44

to the Isle of Skye. Oh man

39:47

it's going to be so beautiful. Are

39:49

you well gel? I am really gel

39:51

I think it sounds magical. I've been

39:53

trying to, there's a few gigs up

39:55

there, I've been trying to get them

39:58

for years but I've just never... never

40:00

got up there. Well what I'm doing

40:02

it's going to be it's going to

40:04

be going from Edinburgh to the Isle

40:07

of Skye it's going to take five

40:09

hours to get... And you're going with

40:11

a group of other comics. Yes we're

40:13

going to get to the Isle of

40:15

Skye we've got two hours before we

40:18

have to be at the venue we

40:20

do the gig and then we leave

40:22

at nine o'clock in the morning. Do

40:24

you still want to screw it? Yeah

40:27

but in a way what else you

40:29

like that sounds like that sounds nice

40:31

like that sounds nice like... I think

40:33

that sounds nice. Are you thinking of

40:35

the fun of travelling is the travelling

40:38

part, isn't it? Not the being in

40:40

the place. It's the, oh look at

40:42

that out the window. That is literally

40:44

not what anyone has, anyone, no one

40:47

has ever said that. Oh, how was

40:49

the Maldives? I can't remember, but the

40:51

flight was incredible. No, not flying, sure,

40:53

no, that's Bologs, but train travel and,

40:55

you know, being in beautiful. I've never

40:58

been. Pretty confident. It's going to be

41:00

stunning. I like that you're confident. Yeah.

41:02

I'm confident, because you're confident. Yeah. That's

41:04

giving me confidence. I'm really glad. Yeah,

41:07

you do that. You're very good, actually.

41:09

And I think I do this as

41:11

well. But you're very good at saying

41:13

something and making me think, yeah, she's

41:15

right. And I don't sometimes, I don't

41:18

know if you are right, Kerry. And

41:20

actually, I don't know if you are

41:22

right, Kerry. Yeah, some people just make

41:24

you go, do you know what? I'm

41:27

just going to see the bright side.

41:29

It's the half plus full thing, isn't

41:31

it? Yeah, but it's also the way

41:33

you say it. You practice like punctuated

41:35

with a, this is fact. Okay this

41:38

isn't me going out on a limb

41:40

Scotland is known to be beautiful. Sure

41:42

this wasn't the best example actually I'm

41:44

just saying as a rule like if

41:47

anyone else has said that to me

41:49

I'd be like well we don't know

41:51

what a roads I'm going down to

41:53

how can you possibly guarantee that but

41:56

you're right it's all going to be

41:58

gorgeous it's going to be gorgeous and

42:00

how long are you away for almost

42:02

a week because I have to, I'm

42:04

staying with you the night before, aren't

42:07

I? So that's going to have another

42:09

night on. Yeah, you're only here for

42:11

my son's birthday. He's bet Frank is

42:13

delighted. I haven't told him yet, but

42:16

I'm sure he'll be fine. I mean,

42:18

he's not great in the morning, so

42:20

to be honest, I won't be there.

42:22

I won't be there. I'm on a

42:24

train at 9am. Oh, you'll be gone

42:27

before, you'll have left before he gets

42:29

up before he goes up. Frank won't

42:31

even though I'm there. Frank won't even

42:33

though I'm there. Frank won't even though

42:36

I'm there. He'll even though I'm there.

42:38

He'll know I'm there. He'll know I'm

42:40

there. He'll know I'm there. He'll know

42:42

I'm there. He'll be like there. He'll

42:44

be like there. He'll be like there.

42:47

He'll be like there. He'll be like

42:49

there. He'll be like there. He'll be

42:51

like there Yeah, he's turning 15, that's

42:53

an interesting age. Yeah, I don't, I

42:56

don't think 15 year olds want to

42:58

talk to 50 year old women and

43:00

I think that's reasonable. Yeah, Ben even

43:02

said to me, stop trying to talk

43:04

to Frank, it's embarrassing, it's embarrassing for

43:07

him. Stop, like, he just said, you're

43:09

just trying too hard. You're just trying

43:11

way too hard. Stop trying to talk

43:13

to your son. Well, okay, I'm being,

43:16

you know, I'm not giving, it, it,

43:18

it, it, it wasn't as bad as

43:20

bad as bad as bad as that.

43:22

He gets him from school and I'm

43:24

like, hey Frank, hi, how are you?

43:27

And he just doesn't fucking want it.

43:29

He doesn't want it. And Ben, even

43:31

Ben was like, just leave him a

43:33

long girl. No one wants that energy

43:36

carried to be fair. I know, I

43:38

know, but he's so flatlining in energy

43:40

as a 15 year old boy. I'm

43:42

like, I'm over compensating as a 51

43:45

year old woman. I think all the

43:47

energy heavy lifting. Yeah, and the more

43:49

energy you give, the more energy you

43:51

give, the more they'll be like she's

43:53

like she's. She's got to go. She

43:56

has to leave. I'll be in my

43:58

room. Shut it down. Where it's quiet.

44:00

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, I've got that to

44:02

it forward to. At the moment, they're

44:05

still... Like you. It's still like me.

44:07

When they found out it was going

44:09

away. for nearly a week, they couldn't

44:11

believe it. They were like, they were

44:13

devastated. And I was like, oh well,

44:16

that's cute. I was like, yeah, good.

44:18

Was she a different, but the children

44:20

were upset. I'm Kima Bob and I

44:22

have a new podcast. It's called Iceburks

44:25

and it's about the endless journey to

44:27

find ourselves and find out what it

44:29

really means to have self-acceptance and self-love.

44:31

I'll be exploring the inner landscapes of

44:33

some of my favorite people. Oh, I

44:36

don't like being self-worth! and asking them

44:38

about who they are, how they got

44:40

that way, and how they feel about

44:42

it. That's subjective what I do on

44:45

stage. I'm objectively not funny off stage.

44:47

A bit of their present? I didn't

44:49

know that I was ugly until I

44:51

was like 16 and record executives told

44:53

me it. A bit of their past?

44:56

I need more time being alone than

44:58

I thought. and how they navigate all

45:00

that stuff. That's definitely something I think

45:02

my therapist would have an opinion on.

45:05

The thing about icebergs is only 10%

45:07

of them is above the surface. 90%

45:09

we can't even fathom and I think

45:11

people are a lot like that. And

45:13

if they're not, then that's a really

45:16

dumb name for a podcast.