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Good morning, survivors, and

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welcome to Mercury. I

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broadcast a Pope. I'm Dr.

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Rosalind Clark here to you

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with Max O'Brien, who has

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promised that he's not going

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to talk about anything weird

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today, like you did yesterday.

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Right, Max? Sure, yeah. And don't

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forget your promise. Okay, fine. It's

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day 2,744, since we came back

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on the year. And we're coming

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to you live from W. E.

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E.E.H.G. 870 A. Now for today's news,

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I know I've tried this the other

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day and nobody was interested, but now

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that we have evidence that Christine Easterman

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has been abducted by fairies, I'm hoping

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we can put together a rescue party.

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What did I just say about not

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talking about anything weird? What's weird about

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wanting to go rescue someone who's

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in trouble? When you put it like

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that, nothing. The weird part is the

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fact that you keep insisting fairies are

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involved. Do you even know anything about

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fairies? I know they're not to be

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trusted. If you find yourself in fairyland, you

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can't eat any of their food or

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else they'll expect you to repay them

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by staying with them and serving

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them forever. Anything else? That sometimes

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they'll abduct people and replace

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them with changelings, which is

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what I believe happened to Christine. You

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seriously believe that? You truly, absolutely,

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seriously believe that? I think it's

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a high enough probability that

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I'm willing to entertain it, yes.

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And the idea that the transmission we

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picked up on the ham radio

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might just be someone trying to

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impersonate her doesn't sound more plausible

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to you? Oh, I don't know about more

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plausible. It's on the list too. But you,

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Dr. Clark, seem to have a problem with

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the fact that zombies weren't real before and

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now they are, which opens up a much

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larger world in terms of what is and

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isn't possible. Except it really

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doesn't. The zombies have a

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scientific explanation. A protozone

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parasite went through a mutation,

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or more likely, a series

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of mutations. through the process

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of evolution, through natural

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selection, until it landed

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in its current format, which causes

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people bitten by someone who has

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been infected to become what we

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refer to as a zombie, which

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I would like to point out,

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we only call them that

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because it's convenient. The term

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already existed and these

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creatures matched the description well

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enough that it stuck. These

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aren't the exact same zombies from pop

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culture brought to life. We just named

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them that. I disagree. What are the chances

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that the parasite would cause a

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condition so similar to a pop culture

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zombie that the name would be applied

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almost instantly? We hardly ever run

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into anybody who calls them anything

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different. Walkers, zed heads, biders, those

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are only used rarely by someone every

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now and then, and it always sounds

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funny when someone says them. If the universe

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has any kind of narrative,

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then these zombies are the

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genuine article and therefore, more

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mythic beings could come into

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play. Okay, but zombies have

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always had a biological component

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to their origins in pop

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culture. If you ignore the

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voodoo aspects of zombie lore,

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the most common cause for

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them is a virus, whether it's a

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virus or a parasite. The

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point is that it's

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biological. And therefore, at

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least somewhat plausible on the

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surface. Fairies aren't

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like that. Do you even

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know the supposed origin of

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fairies? Um, I confess that

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I do not. Well, as it

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turns out, the folklore

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is complicated, but common

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origins for fairies include

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them being demoted

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angels. Wait, I thought

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fallen angels were demons.

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The story goes that God ordered

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the gates of heaven shut. Those

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in heaven stayed angels. those in

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hell were demons and those in

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between are fairies. There's also an

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aspect where they're demoted pagan

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deities who lost their power

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as Christianity grew and the

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number of worshippers of the

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pagan pantheon diminished. Some fairies

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were just considered demons outright

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and some were thought to

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be spirits of the dead

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and the list goes on

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but the thing that all those

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origins have in common is

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that they're supernatural. There's

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no plausible scientific origin case

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for a fairy. I just feel

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like there's more to the world

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than just the things that science can

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describe. Which is why it's so frustrating

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talking to you about these

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things. Especially on the air. All you

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have to do is wave your hand and

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say you believe it without evidence

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and it's hard to respond to

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that. At any rate,

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if you want to organize a

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rescue party for Christine, I can't

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stop you. But I doubt you're going

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to get more interest than

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you did last time. Now can we

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sign off and can you promise

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me that you won't talk about

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fairies on tomorrow's broadcast? Fine. Yes and

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yes. And if I don't get anybody

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interested in the rescue party,

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then I won't bring that

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up again either. No point in

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beating a dead horse, right? Right. Okay

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listeners. That's it for today. We'll

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be back tomorrow. For Mercury,

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you broadcast to Pope, this has

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been Dr. Roslyn Clark and Max

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O'Brien. Take care of each other.