0:00

Most people don't have

0:02

accountability because they've never

0:04

committed to anything. Well, without

0:06

a commitment, then we are left

0:08

to impulse. Impulse control is

0:10

a huge factor in accountability.

0:13

You don't force yourself back on

0:15

track. You don't have accountability.

0:17

No standards, no expectations,

0:19

no commitments, no care to

0:21

be accountable to it. We end up

0:24

in just total chaos and disregard.

0:30

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0:33

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0:35

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highest powered, highest paid, most

1:01

respected motivational teachers, wellness

1:03

coaches, and life coaches

1:06

in the world, live,

1:08

every week. Your personal

1:10

development is worth a

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dollar a day. Your

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is worth a dollar a day,

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but you can start free

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right now when you

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go to growthday.com. If you don't

1:26

commit to something, you can't

1:29

have responsibility to it. And so

1:31

when we lack a vision, when we lack

1:33

a mission, when we lack a connection with

1:35

a family member, when we lack a goal

1:37

for our health, if there's nothing to commit

1:39

to that we can be responsible to, then

1:42

we shouldn't even ask, why am

1:44

I not accountable? I'm like, you

1:46

don't have any commitments. Lacking

1:48

commitments, you have nothing to

1:50

feel responsible to feel responsible

1:53

to. And a lot of people

1:55

are responsible. It's casual. There's

1:57

no commitment. And so unless there's

1:59

a commitment to something that will

2:02

never be a compelled responsibility that

2:04

is willing. So that's part one,

2:06

willing responsibility to a commitment. Part

2:08

two is understanding there's payoffs, meaning

2:11

punishments or rewards, and in those

2:13

payoffs, somebody, us being personally accountable

2:15

or in a social accountability situation,

2:18

has to track. Like, am I

2:20

being fully responsible responsible? to this

2:22

commitment in order to receive this

2:25

payoff. I know that's a lot

2:27

of jargon here, but I think

2:29

it's really important. The number one

2:32

thing I'd say to everyone is

2:34

like willingness to be responsible for

2:36

a commitment and then making sure

2:39

you're on track. But I think

2:41

we lack willingness and I think

2:43

we lack commitment and that's why

2:45

so many people struggle in this

2:48

area. A big piece about this

2:50

just breaks down to people's remembrance

2:52

that there's sort of three forces

2:55

on all of us at any

2:57

given time. Right, there's the force

2:59

that is our impulse, right? We

3:02

have impulses, we have intuitions, we

3:04

have natural body, uh, physicality, and

3:06

in terms of emotion or energy

3:09

or mood. Things just come up,

3:11

we just feel something, right? There's

3:13

a lot of impulse. And a

3:16

lot of the reason people lack

3:18

accountability, they have no impulse control.

3:20

They're unaware of the impulse, or

3:23

they're not mitigating or navigating that

3:25

impulse. And this is really important.

3:27

Impulse control is a huge factor

3:29

in accountability. But most people prefer

3:32

feelings and guiding themselves based on

3:34

feelings, impulse, versus accountability to a

3:36

commitment. Well, without a commitment, then

3:39

we are left to impulse. And

3:41

this is really important. Impulse control

3:43

is a huge factor in accountability.

3:46

But most people again, they lack

3:48

the accountability because there's no external

3:50

commitment. But at the same time,

3:53

I guess that there's three drives,

3:55

right? Three forces. One is impulse.

3:57

just how we feel, it's what's

4:00

going on in our body, it's

4:02

our immediate reactions, it's our unconsciousness,

4:04

it's our intuition, it's just happening

4:07

to us. The second force is

4:09

intention, or I like to use

4:11

the word will, which is that's

4:13

the conscious part of us, that's

4:16

the directed part of us, that's

4:18

the part of it says, I

4:20

want this to happen, I'm going

4:23

to do this thing, and in

4:25

our intention or our will, that

4:27

a lot of people have tons

4:30

of will, but again, but again,

4:32

but again, it's. not aimed. So

4:34

they're like, today, I'm going to

4:37

do all these things. And they

4:39

actually manifest them. They take the

4:41

initiative, they're doing amazing things, but

4:44

there's like, they're going through the

4:46

motions of doing stuff without a

4:48

higher order goal, without a higher

4:51

level commitment, where that commitment is

4:53

values or mission or purpose or

4:55

faith or a concept, like family,

4:57

country. Right when we lack that

5:00

we're just we're really strong doing

5:02

stuff. I know a lot of

5:04

doers. They're like biohackers They've got

5:07

routine. They've got initiative. They're doers.

5:09

They're strivers. They're builded. They're impressive

5:11

people because they have found a

5:14

way the intention and will overcomes

5:16

impulse However, they're still lacking something

5:18

bigger and so they're very busy,

5:21

but unfulfilled And then the third

5:23

force that's pushing on us at

5:25

all times is social obligation. Right?

5:28

We're part of a community. We're

5:30

part of a family. We're part

5:32

of a team. Like we have

5:35

the desires for status or we

5:37

have desires for power or influence

5:39

or belonging. All of that part

5:41

of us that makes a social

5:44

animals. That there's pressure obligations and

5:46

expectations there. And so a lot

5:48

of people. they can never be

5:51

accountable because they They're so willing

5:53

to placate, please serve others. But

5:55

that part of their intention or

5:58

will that has this direction, that

6:00

they want this, they keep giving

6:02

it over to social obligation. So

6:05

like, I don't know why I

6:07

can't take it on my health.

6:09

I'm like, yes, but let's look

6:12

at your life. Do you have

6:14

other commitments? And what they've done

6:16

is they've over indexed on their

6:19

commitments to family or to work.

6:21

They're neglecting the part of them

6:23

that says. Hey, I feel like

6:25

crap. I have a goal to

6:28

get fit. I have a goal

6:30

to be healthier. These are forces

6:32

in our life and we're conscious

6:35

of them or unconscious of them.

6:37

And just like everything else in

6:39

our life, we are utilizing them

6:42

and guiding them to fulfill job

6:44

number one or not. And job

6:46

number one as a human and

6:49

conscious human is to summon the

6:51

best of who you are every

6:53

day. It doesn't mean you're perfect

6:56

all day. Maybe you only get

6:58

10 minutes of the goodness out

7:00

of you today. Maybe you're only

7:02

an awesome mom for 15 minutes

7:05

and you had a struggle the

7:07

rest of the day. But it's

7:09

that that desire of who we

7:12

are to somehow manifest or cultivate

7:14

or create the best of who

7:16

we are. And so I bring

7:19

this up because all of these

7:21

forces, none of them are good

7:23

or bad. Like your impulses can

7:26

be extraordinarily valuable. Right? Your impulses

7:28

on the football field will probably

7:30

dictate how you actually respond and

7:33

how fast. your impulses in the

7:35

good and the bad? Are they

7:37

making me accountable to protect yourself

7:40

and hide? Which can hurt a

7:42

relationship? So these things are all,

7:44

there's no, they're not positive or

7:46

negative. There are, you utilize, are

7:49

you conscious of them and utilizing

7:51

them to form the life that

7:53

you want? So what I do

7:56

is I go, okay, I know

7:58

my impulses, the good and the

8:00

bad. Are they making me accountable

8:03

to being the best of who

8:05

I can be today? Because my

8:07

ideal my commitment my job won

8:10

Is the sum and the best

8:12

of who I am every day?

8:14

It doesn't mean I'm perfect. It

8:17

means that I try. A lot

8:19

of people, they don't try. Hey,

8:21

it's Brendan. I want to invite

8:24

you to be in person doing

8:26

this work with me. So join

8:28

us in Austin, Texas, April 3,

8:30

4, and 5. Go to growthday.com/live.

8:33

That's growthday.com/live to join us live

8:35

in person. It's not broadcast virtually

8:37

on the internet. It's an in-person

8:40

transformational experience and it's my only

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live event this year that's multi-day

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that's not $15,000. You can get

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a... discounted ticket right now when

8:49

you go to growthday.com/live get in

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the room work on your vision

8:54

on your mindset your confidence your

8:56

productivity and your leadership where in

8:58

Austin April 3 4 and 5

9:01

my only public multi-day seminar of

9:03

the entire year that's growthday.com/live ticket

9:05

your tickets growthday.com/live One

9:08

favorite leaders always tells me when

9:10

he gets frustrated with his team,

9:12

which we can talk about his

9:15

leaders here. He'll say often to

9:17

his team is like, oh, I'm

9:19

sorry. You're right. Would you like

9:21

me to Google that for you?

9:23

Which I think is so funny.

9:25

I would love to say that

9:27

too. But there's things that we

9:29

also have to say to ourselves.

9:31

Did I even try today? Let

9:33

me be accountable to this ideal.

9:35

I said I wanted to be

9:37

a successful person. That's a concept.

9:39

I said I want to summon

9:41

the best of who I am.

9:44

That's a concept. But if I

9:46

commit to those things, I have

9:48

to ask, did I try? Did

9:50

I measure up? Did I take

9:52

the action? So if it's an

9:54

impulse for that commitment, great. If

9:56

it's an impulse a way, uh-oh,

9:58

let's be accountable. If it is

10:00

a intention to do that and

10:02

it will do that, did I

10:04

try? Did I do it? It's

10:06

a yes or no. If I

10:08

didn't, okay, let me accept the

10:10

consequences and let me move back

10:13

on track. Social obligation. If I

10:15

said I would do it, I

10:17

gave you my word. It's either

10:19

I tried and I did the

10:21

thing or I did not. Yes

10:23

or no. Accountability often comes back

10:25

down to a very binary set

10:27

of truths. You tried or you

10:29

didn't. You did the thing, yes

10:31

or no. And if you did

10:33

not, and it's a commitment. The

10:35

accountability piece. goes from a concept

10:37

of accountability into action. And that

10:40

action says, let me write the

10:42

ship. Let me adjust my sales.

10:44

Let me get back on track.

10:46

And here's the truth. I can

10:48

tell a lot of people have

10:50

commitments in their life, but they

10:52

don't have accountability. Because they don't

10:54

force themselves back on track. You

10:56

don't have accountability. You have preference.

10:58

You have ease. You have comfort.

11:00

But the edge of accountability most

11:02

people don't like is that truth

11:04

if somebody is off track You

11:06

have to force the conversation You

11:09

have to be assertive in other

11:11

words Right if you aren't assertive

11:13

in the face of being off

11:15

track You're lacking accountability. So I

11:17

tell my team all time I'm

11:19

like hey listen if things go

11:21

sideways that happens all the time

11:23

the question is do you immediately

11:25

work to write the ship? That's

11:27

accountability to our mission Our mission

11:29

demands a certain level of performance.

11:31

And if we are off track,

11:33

that's normal. Because in business, you

11:35

have hypotheses. You're in the scientific

11:38

process all the time. You're testing,

11:40

you're trying, you're experimenting, you don't

11:42

know. But if you find yourself

11:44

off track, you reorient and recalibrate

11:46

faster. The slower you recalibrate, the

11:48

less accountability means anything to you.

11:50

If you don't force yourself back

11:52

on track, you don't have accountability.

11:55

You have preference, you have ease,

11:57

you have comfort, but the edge

12:00

of accountability, most people don't like,

12:02

is that truth? If somebody is

12:04

off track, you have to force

12:06

the conversation. You have to be

12:08

assertive, in other words, right? If

12:10

you aren't assertive in the face

12:12

of being off track, you're lacking

12:15

accountability. So I tell my team

12:17

all the time, hey, listen, if

12:19

things go sideways, that happens all

12:21

the time. The question is, do

12:23

you immediately work to write the

12:25

ship? That's accountability to our mission.

12:28

Our mission demands a certain level

12:30

of performance and people who don't

12:32

commit to something and care about

12:34

it live unfulfilled lives. If you

12:36

want an unfulfilled life, don't care

12:38

about anything. Right? When you're a

12:40

nihilist, you just, you don't care.

12:43

What's the point? What's the point?

12:45

Why try? It doesn't matter. We're

12:47

all just going to die. We're

12:49

just on a little orb spinning

12:51

around this tiny little, you know,

12:53

solar system that's only what? two

12:55

light years long, you know, we're

12:58

in a galaxy that's only 150,000

13:00

light years long, you know, that's

13:02

pretty tiny considering there's a trillion

13:04

other galaxies. So the nihilist and

13:06

the mentality says, it doesn't matter,

13:08

we're so small, who cares? They

13:11

always end up living, unfulfilled lives,

13:13

they always end up feeling like,

13:15

why, it didn't matter, it's not

13:17

important, there's no meaning. And at

13:19

the end of their life, they

13:21

die and they have no sense

13:23

of meaning. And by the way,

13:26

that's their choice. It's just sad

13:28

because you also track their happiness

13:30

throughout life. You track the quality

13:32

of their relationships throughout life. You

13:34

track their longevity. Literally, how long

13:36

do they live? And you track

13:38

their health span. And all of

13:41

those are lower than people who

13:43

have higher levels of values, commitments,

13:45

desires. And yes, everyone here can

13:47

say your social obligations are arbitrary.

13:49

Right I can drive across state

13:51

line and go that line is

13:54

completely arbitrary But the world doesn't

13:56

run without these lines. We loved

13:58

all go there are no lines,

14:00

nothing matters, there's no labels, there's

14:02

no meaning to it all. And

14:04

in fact, at a spiritual level,

14:06

maybe you're right, maybe in the

14:09

quantum field, somehow you're right. I

14:11

don't know, but I do know,

14:13

you end up reporting in all

14:15

your psychological measures and all your

14:17

performance measures as being either unfulfilled

14:19

or an underperformer. So you just

14:22

have to choose. Am I committing

14:24

to a lack of fulfillment and

14:26

meaning? Or do I want a

14:28

meaningful life? Am I choosing not

14:30

to care about anything? Because one

14:32

time I got hurt and they

14:34

told me on the internet having

14:37

expectations is bad because if I

14:39

have expectations, well, that's where my

14:41

happiness keeps getting eroded. You know,

14:43

your happiness is ruined because of

14:45

your expectations. And everyone who says

14:47

that tends to be a novice

14:49

in personal development, tends to be

14:52

somebody who's speaking to a general

14:54

audience and they're trying to win

14:56

the sixth graders. versus any one

14:58

who's actually studied psychology, or more

15:00

importantly, been in charge in a

15:02

leadership role with real humans. Expectations

15:05

really matter. And what we learn,

15:07

society, is if we can increase

15:09

expectations, increase the standards that you're

15:11

after, we tend to increase the

15:13

quality of life. No standards, no

15:15

expectations, no commitments, no care to

15:17

be accountable to it. We end

15:20

up in just total chaos and

15:22

disregard.