0:00

People who need certainty

0:02

struggle with adaptability and

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flexibility and resilience, their

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doubt turns into discouragement,

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then disengagement. All worry

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and all fear comes from what

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if this negative thing happens and

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now. when you go to

2:03

growthday.com. If you believe certainty

2:05

is a thing that you

2:07

need to have, then you

2:09

are trapped in childlike ambitions.

2:11

Anyone trying to sell you

2:13

certainty is trying to sell

2:15

you something. It's like certainty

2:17

is the opposite and seeking

2:19

and wanting and hoping and

2:22

hoping and hoping for certainty.

2:24

is, I would say, the

2:26

opposite of everything we know

2:28

in high performance and success.

2:30

We know that people who

2:32

desire and drive and operate

2:34

from certainty are more close-minded.

2:36

They don't have the openness

2:38

trait of personality traits that

2:40

we know lead to long-term

2:42

success. People who need certainty,

2:44

struggle with adaptability and flexibility

2:47

and resilience. Those are critical

2:49

to long-term success. And I

2:51

know, listen, it's very popular,

2:53

even my industry, there's people

2:55

who sell certainty all day

2:57

long. You gotta have certainty,

2:59

you gotta have certainty. What

3:01

they're trying to say is

3:03

confidence and self, the ability

3:05

to push through, the ability

3:07

to keep going, even when

3:09

you don't know, to work

3:12

through the doubt and to

3:14

keep going, but certainty as

3:16

an end, as a hope,

3:18

as something you need, is

3:20

the thing that we know

3:22

in psychology and high performance

3:24

studies actually hurts you. And

3:27

so if you're trying to

3:29

grasp at certainty, you need

3:31

to know it's kind of

3:33

not there. The world itself

3:35

is changed and change brings

3:37

uncertainty. The issue is so

3:39

many people, when they are

3:41

faced with uncertainty, suddenly they

3:43

don't feel certain. And so

3:45

they stop. Because they're seeking

3:47

that child like grab at

3:49

certainty. So they stop. And

3:51

now they have this doubt.

3:53

The doubt. instead of being

3:55

a signal to learn and

3:57

to skill up and to

3:59

prepare. and to build, their doubt

4:02

turns into discouragement,

4:04

then disengagement. So

4:06

the emotions that come from

4:08

uncertainty leads me to doubt,

4:11

because I don't feel certain.

4:13

So I'm grasping. The doubt makes

4:15

me now, I'll wait, so they feel

4:18

discouraged because I don't know what

4:20

to do, so they disengage. So

4:22

the very thing that you actually

4:25

need in a new world or

4:27

a new land is to explore.

4:29

Right? You don't you don't travel

4:31

across the seas to get to

4:34

a new land and go shoot

4:36

It's big new land here. I

4:38

don't know what to do and You

4:40

say well, I guess we'll get back

4:42

in the boats and we'll go

4:44

back over there and you turn

4:47

tail and run The whole point

4:49

of new lands is to explore

4:51

that feeling in emotion and

4:54

to keep going not to

4:56

stop or double track And

4:58

that's the difference is a high

5:00

performance coach versus, you know, selling hype

5:02

is, I gotta go, hey, no, this is part

5:04

of it. Let's talk about how you're

5:06

dealing with it and make sure that

5:09

you stay open, make sure you

5:11

stay adaptable, make sure you're building

5:13

skills, and make sure you're active.

5:15

If we can do those things,

5:17

we're gonna have a whole different

5:19

experience than those who shut down and

5:21

disengage. And so the good news

5:24

is, that's what learnings for. you

5:26

know, from your childhood

5:28

and from your current

5:30

experiences, you've learned a lot. And

5:32

you, of course, you've gathered all

5:34

these playbooks, right? I equate it

5:37

and maybe it's not an apt

5:39

metaphor for today, but it's kind

5:41

of like a great general in

5:44

war, when a great general in

5:46

war, goes into war, and I work

5:48

with the military, they've got

5:50

playbooks. They, they know

5:52

strategy. They know battlefield

5:55

strategy. But they never know

5:57

exactly what strategy they're going to

5:59

deploy. until they've deployed, they see

6:01

what's happening, and then they got

6:03

to choose from a set of

6:05

other strategies that could be put

6:07

in motion. They don't go in

6:09

with certainty or one truth or

6:12

one strategy. The adaptability is high.

6:14

And while we're not on a

6:16

battlefield, metaphorically in the entrepreneurial world,

6:18

sometimes it feels like it. You're

6:20

exhausted, you're out, you know you

6:22

got enemies, you got competition, the

6:24

bank accounts on the line. And

6:26

so it feels like your life

6:28

is on the line, your identity's

6:30

on the line, your name's on

6:32

the line. I mean, your name

6:34

is hanging out front on a

6:36

board in front of a house

6:38

sometimes, it's identity. And so when

6:40

identity feels threatened, we feel like

6:42

we're at war. What we have

6:44

to remember though, is no one

6:46

goes into war with one strategy. You

6:50

go in with battlefield strategies, plural.

6:52

And so you have to realize

6:54

you develop so much skill, you

6:56

have so many quivers. I know

6:58

I'm mixing metaphors a little bit

7:00

here, but you've got so many

7:03

skill sets and so many playbooks.

7:05

And now it's about being adaptable

7:07

on the field, right? You don't

7:09

know until you're in the arena

7:11

what kind of animals you're gonna

7:13

face. You don't know until you're

7:15

in the battlefield what your customer

7:17

or the competitor is going to

7:19

do. And so train, train, train,

7:21

skill up, skill up, but be

7:24

actively building and be adaptive in

7:26

that building. And never, and this

7:28

is important, never

7:30

bemoan the fact that you have to adapt.

7:34

When yourself talk is like, oh, this

7:36

sucks. I have to change. I

7:38

have to try this new thing. I

7:40

like the old way. When you

7:42

cling to the old ways, you usually

7:44

get shot. When you cling to

7:46

the old ways or the assumptions that

7:48

you had versus what the battlefield

7:50

is, that's when we lose. And

7:53

so don't be clingy

7:55

to a decade ago strategy,

7:57

you know? That's what, what

8:00

people do. And people don't realize,

8:02

see, we often think of retreat

8:05

as an action, right? I'm running away

8:07

from the battlefield. And so we

8:09

think as a metaphor here, but

8:11

retreat begins in the mind. You

8:14

know, it's a mental game. I like to

8:16

teach how it's like, okay, the real

8:18

retreat begins at fear. And what

8:20

most people don't realize about

8:22

fear is there's four types of fear.

8:25

And let's see if this is a

8:27

resident with you guys today. The first

8:29

type of fear that we have is

8:32

called ruin. I'm going to be

8:34

ruined. When we think about uncertainty,

8:36

it's like, oh my gosh, my

8:38

whole way of life is

8:40

going to be ruined. This

8:42

is called instant catastrophic thinking.

8:45

Instant catastrophic

8:47

thinking. A new change comes. So

8:49

when you are immature in life,

8:51

and I know that's not a word

8:53

a lot of people like, but

8:55

when you are immature in

8:57

dealing with uncertainty, when you're

9:00

immature in life, every new

9:02

change feels catastrophic.

9:04

And we immediately go,

9:06

I'm ruined, industry's ruined,

9:09

oh, everything's, it's, it's so

9:11

catastrophic. You know, there's ways

9:13

to look uncertainty, go, hey,

9:16

you know what, this might

9:18

be a five percent decrease.

9:20

This might be, right, you're

9:22

more fine and finite in

9:24

looking at the impact of

9:26

the change. When we have

9:29

learned helplessness, which we talk

9:31

about in psychology and coaching,

9:33

we just believe it's catastrophic,

9:36

we believe it's personal, we

9:38

believe it's permanent, we

9:40

believe it's pervasive, right? That's

9:42

ruin. And so we have to go,

9:44

oh, okay, I'm worried about ruin. And

9:47

another way that I like to

9:49

tell people to think about ruin

9:51

is this rumination. You're constantly

9:53

saying, you know, this really

9:55

equals, what if... followed by

9:58

a negative statement. All

10:01

worry and all fear comes from

10:03

this. What if this negative thing

10:05

happens and I'm not ready? I

10:08

can't handle it. It ruins me.

10:10

So you start listening. This is

10:12

the self-talk cue. You're listening for

10:14

this. Am I saying what if

10:16

followed by negative? Or most of

10:19

my days, what if followed by

10:21

positive? It's not positive thinking. It's

10:23

actually adaptive thinking. It's actually adaptive

10:25

thinking. It's actually adaptive thinking. So

10:28

the first thing we fear is

10:30

ruin. The second thing we fear

10:32

is rejection. By the way, these

10:34

are not necessarily an order. I'm

10:37

just teaching a framework here. So

10:39

rejection. Oh, if I do something

10:41

or if I'm not as successful

10:43

or if I don't do this

10:45

for my clients, everyone's going to

10:48

abandon me. I'm going to be

10:50

lonely. They won't approve. And this

10:52

is your judgment button. You know,

10:54

I was still people, most people

10:57

aren't scared to start a dream,

10:59

they're just embarrassed to be seen

11:01

starting small. Embarrassment is a form

11:03

of concern about rejection. So we

11:05

know from research that when people

11:08

have concern about rejection, when I

11:10

think an industry is volatile, when

11:12

people are going to say no,

11:14

they do less prospecting, less outbound,

11:17

because the assumption is going to

11:19

be no, I don't want to

11:21

do that. So they stop. The

11:23

second area that we know in

11:26

rejection I think is really important

11:28

right now for people to hear

11:30

is when they believe in industry

11:32

is volatile and they're scared of

11:34

less deals or less sales. A

11:37

very interesting thing happens and I'm

11:39

going to jump to another piece

11:41

of research. That is when people

11:43

have financial failure in their life

11:46

to the point of bankruptcy. So

11:48

this is bankruptcy research. They ask

11:50

people who go into bankruptcy. Did

11:52

you tell anybody? That

11:55

you were struggling and almost

11:57

always it's like no They

12:00

were embarrassed that their financial results

12:02

were not as good as they

12:04

used to be, so they didn't

12:06

talk to their spouse. Did you

12:09

know most spouses are surprised when

12:11

the couple falls into bankruptcy? Now

12:13

I know that sounds ruinous to

12:15

even talk about this conversation here,

12:17

but I think it's so important

12:19

because what we do is we

12:22

shut up. We silently suffer a

12:24

down trend. And we don't have

12:26

the conversation, we're embarrassed to even

12:28

talk about it with our partner.

12:30

You know, a lot of people,

12:32

their next level of financial wealth,

12:35

they are capable of getting there,

12:37

but they've mentally convinced themselves that

12:39

they can't handle it. I can't

12:41

handle, you know, taking on this

12:43

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the Food and Drug Administration. This

13:10

product is not intended to diagnose,

13:12

treat, or prevent any disease. Hey,

13:16

are you on my text list? Did you know if

13:18

you're in the West you can text me at 1503-2-1-2-5?

13:20

I actually have that text number on my Instagram account

13:22

bio as well if you want to go check it

13:24

out. It's just five zero three two one two six

13:27

one two five literally just text me and say hey

13:29

Brandon or text me and say anything you want to

13:31

say if you want me to see it just text

13:33

me there it's five oh three two one two six

13:35

one two five and it's my exclusive text list and

13:37

if you're not on it It's where I share some

13:40

of my most popular episodes. Or if I drop a

13:42

new YouTube, I send it your way. Or if I

13:44

have some kind of free thing going on the internet,

13:46

I give... that exclusive link out

13:48

to that group. So just

13:50

go there and text me

13:53

503 -212 -6125. It's kind of

13:55

cool. It's back and forth.

13:57

This is my community text

13:59

number. So tons of my

14:01

community share, you know, insights

14:03

about what they're learning from

14:06

me or just want to

14:08

chat back and forth. And

14:10

I'm in there, my team's

14:12

in there. We really just

14:14

try to engage you on

14:17

a different platform. It's super

14:19

fun. And again, anytime I

14:21

have something special going out,

14:23

this is the first group

14:25

to know about it. So

14:27

just go text me at

14:30

503 -212 -6125.

14:37

We convince ourselves we can't

14:39

handle it because the responsibility at

14:41

the next level is too much.

14:43

Well, in uncertainty, we

14:46

don't want to be responsible for

14:48

the reality anymore. I

14:50

don't know the answer anymore. I'm

14:52

not the leader anymore. I don't have

14:55

the certainty and the perfect answer

14:57

for everybody. I'm embarrassed about that. I

14:59

don't want to deal with it anymore. A

15:02

lot of people destroy teams in times

15:04

of uncertainty because they don't want to

15:06

be responsible for the ship anymore. At

15:10

the very time, they've got to be in command at

15:12

the wheel. They just go,

15:14

I don't think I can handle

15:16

it. I don't know what's responsible.

15:18

You'll never see more teams

15:20

depart and

15:23

break apart than we

15:25

probably will next two years. They

15:27

just go, I don't want to do it anymore. We

15:30

abdicate our responsibilities. And

15:33

this is how you know when people don't

15:35

understand uncertainty or they haven't faced it before. They

15:37

just abdicate. They just step away. I can't

15:39

handle it. So why even try? So

15:42

for those of you, many of you

15:44

built very responsible lives. You're responsible for

15:46

a team. You're responsible for a territory.

15:48

You're responsible for your financial income

15:50

of the household. And

15:52

you don't want it anymore. You

15:55

shirk it. You know, you shrug

15:57

it off because you're like, this

15:59

is too much. to deal with right

16:01

now, I'm not capable. And

16:03

that's the words. What if I'm

16:05

not capable? What if I

16:07

can't handle this new reality?

16:10

And so you self-sabotage

16:12

because the responsibility

16:14

feels now, before responsibility

16:17

is fun when you're

16:19

winning, when you're losing

16:22

responsibility feels like

16:24

pressure. And so I always

16:26

tell all my clients, hey. Be wary

16:28

of how you are feeling

16:30

and sensing pressure because you

16:32

aren't responsible for the

16:35

world. You aren't responsible

16:37

for the economy. You

16:39

can only be responsible

16:41

for your daily prioritized

16:44

actions and how you treat

16:46

other people. And so just be

16:48

thoughtful about this. Don't

16:50

abdicate right now. Last piece on

16:53

this little framework of things

16:55

we most commonly fear

16:57

is Regret. I'm scared if

16:59

I don't do this action or

17:01

jump to this new opportunity

17:03

or try this thing, I'm

17:05

going to have regret. I

17:07

don't want to live with

17:09

regret. People fear that regret

17:12

on their deathbed and sometimes

17:15

that's the regret of things

17:17

they did and sometimes it's

17:19

the thing they did not do.

17:21

One thing and some of you

17:23

know my story with having faced...

17:26

my death multiple times in my

17:28

life of being a hospice

17:30

volunteer is I've seen that

17:33

people towards the end often

17:35

wish and feel a sense of

17:37

regret that they weren't more

17:39

stable for people in their

17:42

times of difficulty. I wish I'd

17:44

been a better dad through that

17:46

divorce. I actually heard that

17:49

one time from a gentleman

17:51

and it was a very emotional

17:53

thing. You know, I wish I had been...

17:56

you know, better to my team when this

17:58

thing happened. I wish one more... responsible

18:00

in this transition. It's like

18:02

we know that we want

18:04

to be responsible and stable.

18:06

So when I talk about,

18:08

or think about uncertainty, I

18:10

also think about there's a

18:12

stability in your character. Don't

18:14

do things you're going to

18:17

regret in volatility. And that's

18:19

what people usually do. They

18:21

bail. Like, you know, volatility

18:23

of economy, people get divorced

18:25

at greater frequency. you know,

18:27

when the bank accounts more

18:29

volatile, it's harder to keep

18:31

the home together. And I

18:33

think that what people do

18:35

is volatility, just like any

18:37

fear, causes us to look

18:39

shorter sight. Like we get

18:42

shorter sight, we get myopic,

18:44

and we forget the long

18:46

game. We forget about good

18:48

relationships and good business. Our

18:50

character is compromised, and that's

18:52

the step we tend to

18:54

regret when we compromise our

18:56

character. Like, okay, that's the

18:58

problem. There's fears, right? We're

19:00

going to fear these things.

19:02

And this what if negative

19:04

thinking stops us. So what

19:06

do we already know? And

19:09

this is so basic, I

19:11

know you're all going to

19:13

get. So what does success

19:15

look like in uncertainty with

19:17

daily prioritized action? We just

19:19

call it DPA. Okay, in

19:21

uncertainty. Yeah, things are uncertain.

19:23

How about you get a

19:25

level of structure and prioritization

19:27

to your day? Like start

19:29

there. You can't control the

19:31

world. You can control more

19:34

of the day. You can't

19:36

control the world's agenda. You

19:38

can control your life agenda.

19:40

And so basic daily prioritized

19:42

action means every day you

19:44

got a list. It's prioritized.

19:46

You work at my priority,

19:48

not by comfort. Many things

19:50

in times of uncertainty are

19:52

uncomfortable. And people put it.

19:54

at the end of the

19:56

list of the day because

19:58

it's uncomfortable. No, you work

20:01

the priority each day.

20:03

You got to return to

20:05

prioritization. This, DPA gives

20:07

you a sense of

20:10

purpose each day, even uncertainty.

20:13

And everybody needs that.

20:15

Then I like to add on

20:17

a few things. I like to

20:19

add on ER here. ER stands

20:22

for Emotional Regulation.

20:25

You regulating your

20:27

emotions. which starts with how

20:29

you handle the fear of

20:31

uncertainty, which starts with

20:33

how you deal with stress, anxiety,

20:36

frustration, doubts. So it's like,

20:38

okay, I'm gonna work my

20:40

power list here and I'm

20:42

gonna regulate myself throughout the

20:44

day emotionally. I'm not gonna

20:46

let the discouragement or

20:48

the doubt shut me down for three

20:50

hours. Okay, it's okay if I got down

20:53

or discouraged for 20 minutes, but

20:55

if you carry it all day,

20:57

it ruins the day. And

20:59

so emotional regulation, as I

21:01

stands for social influence, this

21:04

is during times of uncertainty

21:06

you prioritize socialization. You get

21:09

around people, you talk with

21:11

your team, you have more

21:14

conversations with the customer and

21:16

client, and you don't get

21:19

mad about those needs. Involitivity

21:21

or uncertainty. Don't get

21:23

mad that your spouse wants to

21:25

talk a little bit more. Don't

21:28

get mad that the customer

21:30

needs a third freaking phone

21:32

call. Don't get mad that the

21:34

pitch now takes four showings. You

21:36

can't get mad. You have to

21:39

prioritize that social influence

21:41

in uncertainty. So remember that

21:43

if you want to succeed,

21:46

we got to have your

21:48

daylight prioritized action, manage

21:50

your emotions, but deal with

21:52

people more. Focus on. being the

21:55

role model now, focus on being

21:57

the patient leader now, focus on

21:59

being... the leader that builds people

22:01

up slowly. And if you can do if

22:03

you can do that, it's

22:05

like a different, so it's so

22:07

different. It's a social the social component

22:09

that you prioritize.