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the ads. tree

2:00

lighting ceremony in what 1992? It's the

2:02

Clinton administration. She's in a very luxurious

2:04

kind of robe isn't she like outside

2:07

coat but kind of very like lots

2:09

of fabric she looks fantastic. It's chaos she

2:11

doesn't know the words to her own song they've

2:13

got the cards in the wrong order her background

2:15

singers haven't turned up if you've never seen it

2:17

I recommend it it will really put you in the mood for Christmas. She's

2:19

having an absolute conniption at whoever whatever Paul Sodge

2:22

with a big pen is trying to quickly write

2:24

those lyrics because the autocue's gone down. It's

2:27

one of those things that just warms your heart. Oh my

2:29

god she is fighting for her

2:31

life. It's pure chaos it's amazing.

2:33

My friends at the other day because I really want to

2:35

have a watch along to a Christmas

2:37

film that I considered to be up there

2:39

with the great but I don't think gets enough attention

2:42

Oh good. The family stone.

2:44

Never seen it. Oh my god it's so

2:46

bad. It's sad though. Is

2:48

it I don't know like it's no it's not

2:50

a sad it's bad. There's

2:53

a bit where like Sarah Jessica Parker's just rolling around

2:55

loads of egg like it's

2:58

really good fun if you want something

3:00

to just sit and absolutely torch this

3:02

festive period but my friend said what's

3:04

our sort of like trailer or like

3:07

opener for it is it Patty LaBelle

3:09

so I think we need to lead in

3:11

with Patty LaBelle. Oh my god

3:13

you should itinerise a day of getting festive.

3:15

Patty LaBelle, family stone what else what else

3:17

would you consume to get you

3:19

in the festive spirit. Ironic or not Jamie?

3:22

I bet you've got a lovely Christmas playlist

3:24

I do actually and loads of records I

3:26

haven't put my well I was debating whether

3:28

I should put my decorations up this year.

3:30

Why? Because I was looking

3:32

at my diary and I'm only in my house one

3:34

night in December. What do you mean? I'm out doing

3:37

things or you come back yeah but I think I'm

3:40

feeling quite sad about just seeing. Yes you come out I

3:42

presume you come back. So you put your tree

3:44

up? I did now because I was like that's kind of sad.

3:46

You know what he has got out there that he always gets

3:48

out which for him is the sort of equivalent of

3:51

you know because you have this garlanding on the stairs

3:53

and it all looks you decorate very nicely. Thank you.

3:55

But the thing that I feel is the the opening

3:57

ceremony for Jamie is the Christmas

3:59

tablecloth. The close but not all

4:01

about. I haven't

4:03

put it out again. Look for some

4:05

because the super close to get some

4:07

is is a red autumnal seen as

4:09

now as as com lights her as

4:11

A.holly it's been an Ai John A

4:13

married maybe. Oh beautiful the that. Is

4:16

that it's on thus December. Is one

4:18

of the only people I know who uses tablecloths of. Yeah,

4:20

no, she's really keep him that. Was when

4:22

I didn't realize over his

4:24

foots if a reboot I'm

4:26

Business advice rank Table has

4:29

able to go. Oh

4:31

many many. Pre season by three pack.

4:33

three per season. Yeah, let me of

4:35

the spring one. Point. Three: a feud

4:38

with. This breakthrough race

4:40

you. I just going to mix it up. Or

4:42

how to do is the said the point of my

4:45

kitchen so. Is is at kind of

4:47

clubs chains switch sides, Of. The clock

4:49

as though regimen As I just said

4:51

I was very late with the to

4:53

said number of as you might this

4:55

is really really boring. Ah the lovely

4:57

and thought about what do you have

4:59

a table Topic Recent submission has James

5:01

can start club send pictures of the

5:03

table cloth and this. Is a runner. By

5:07

silhouette with a lot of i've got a runner

5:09

I'm sure I'm on a run out of the

5:11

not since he got up and of Garcia. I

5:14

i and the napkin suddenly. Uses

5:17

such. As

5:24

as as ball died, Assist

5:27

Assist Assist Fargo. This is.

5:32

Other of fr lot for a

5:34

couple of it's even hard to

5:36

spot on the take The pros.

5:41

And cons. Of

5:43

his does he even says uncle as

5:46

as I as as as you apparently

5:48

some of his it is Christmas as.

5:52

Acts as a of our favorite moments

5:55

Some or provide those Yes, obviously we

5:57

listened to them to find our favorite

5:59

movies. Oh. My. God. I love

6:01

the Christmas. I mean, I was

6:03

absolutely howling. My main worry because I

6:05

was listening out and about in somebody would

6:08

fonts. Over at my phone and I would

6:10

be like throwing my have by law saying

6:12

you're so yeah than your opponent has really

6:14

messing with. Also night listening back

6:16

to them is honesty Christmas traditions

6:18

that we. Potter. Kin of

6:20

Martha upon as the. Smith years of

6:23

gift. Giving dany some the a lot of

6:25

lovely surprise there. Are you know I did

6:27

with the A Super? The Deaths Nothing

6:29

Here is Asia where I live in

6:31

your bag with the photo Masons I

6:33

know it's. Oh no oh god it's know

6:35

is that we're not doing something that the Nazi

6:37

other. Stuff. Like

6:40

the anti semitic. Is

6:43

a on at it or what? I think if I

6:45

was gonna buy aj me a gift which I'm not

6:47

one. of the perfect

6:49

gift would be. Seen the

6:52

sings been doing the rounds in out

6:54

for years is a film Cold Weather

6:56

it jibes head is going to explode

6:58

into the puke court t with the

7:01

dame since I'm a sucker where they

7:03

i get tagged to get older. Your

7:05

abs though is if it's day. Maggie

7:07

Smith yes Daily Ten just same exact

7:09

sorry done to him but he smith

7:12

to denser plowed right tone, power right

7:14

and I the mountains and the rules.

7:16

Same round of hacking up talking about

7:18

like hundred say the other wet three.

7:21

And yet see if I think

7:23

it's about ninety minutes oh ninety

7:25

min of walk in such a

7:27

system just about their lives. Thanks

7:30

you Over T Seles. Directed

7:34

guess yells out the acid so there must be

7:36

a dvd about going to get you that ruff.

7:39

A Dvd sir as player. Was

7:43

correct as he has he thought that see

7:45

tons the for a few times I mean

7:47

is obviously very nice. The people think that

7:49

are going to appreciate it but you can

7:51

stop sending even I'd I'm aware exists. Oh

7:53

should we add that to the pre family

7:56

Stone Patti Labelle? Yes. Last resort. What's the

7:58

dames having teeth? Maybe have some. The with

8:00

them on and then what's it about that's

8:02

really on the mode wine and then conk

8:04

out to us so just passing by the

8:06

around? I could handle that analyzing as as

8:08

it is where. say again of. A day

8:11

at work with Sarah Michelle Gellar

8:13

know as a certificate about a

8:15

daughter spent a summer says to.

8:18

El Gallo has nothing to do that's not uses

8:20

ironic way that sounds like a low estimate. There

8:23

and then you couldn't finish off with all the

8:25

but a reporter for the specials through the night.

8:27

you know, just full of it to them will.

8:29

Be Porno leagues through the. Night

8:31

was my party that persists. so should

8:33

we should we relive sweets yeah, some

8:36

microwave mode wine and hand and and

8:38

die then. Absolutely Alice far the dial

8:40

up to ten a proper two minutes

8:42

longer than necessary did a lot of

8:45

the necessity success they they. Offer

8:48

therapy a permit. It. Suddenly

8:58

felt like X Miss

9:00

Ss. Ah. Ah,

9:05

it's video via to

9:07

a lot like so.

9:10

Really this cursor around by it's like

9:13

it's regional sales manager Mexico Christmas the.

9:16

Dream is a lie.

9:19

Ajax. It

9:22

suddenly felt like accents ssssss

9:24

and Belinda got up and

9:26

started to microwave the mode

9:28

why. Oh

9:46

God this is not an housing and

9:49

to my mind. Is assist. Or

9:51

asked if he. says.

9:55

oh my god i hate that is

9:58

my favorite like a figure out And

12:00

I always felt the exotic flourish

12:02

was the most sexy way to

12:04

any man's charcoal heart. On

12:06

Papa Noël's really exotic, being French and

12:08

all. Too

12:11

many to count. Ooooh!

12:15

Good Santa money! Fantastic!

12:19

You're literally gonna ruin Santa for everyone.

12:22

But that's not important. Is

12:24

it Aslan? More like Mufasa.

12:27

Ho ho ho. The question

12:30

on my hair's smothered lips is, have

12:32

you been a good girl this year?

12:34

No. I love this voice though. No

12:37

she hasn't. Belinda was

12:39

aghast. Was Baboon Natale

12:41

flirting with her? Who?

12:45

Sorry? Baboon Natale.

12:48

What's Baboon Natale?

12:58

I'm here to read for the dame. The

13:01

James bellowed. Got a good dame voice actually.

13:03

Please. The

13:05

floor is yours. Oh

13:09

my god, you little dick goose. What am I

13:11

like? Behind me? Oh you wish.

13:13

I wish. Come behind me. No,

13:15

not at all. I'm a mother. What

13:18

the fuck was that? It

13:25

was his performance. What

13:33

on earth? Did he just do

13:35

a medley of all of those?

13:38

He just did a medley of classic pants

13:40

about the moment. I actually thought you were gonna fall

13:43

out of the chair. There's a bit

13:45

of sick in here. Shall we break that

13:47

down? No, do it exactly like

13:49

that again. Oh my

13:51

god, you little dick goose. What am I

13:53

like? Behind me? Oh, you wish. I wish.

13:56

Come behind me. No, not at all. Someone's

14:00

having a break now. Why is he

14:02

moving so fast? Why is he

14:04

moving so fast? Why can't he stay on any of

14:07

it? I've

14:14

actually never seen James like this. Do

14:17

you want a can? No, yeah,

14:19

one by one. One by one. Oh

14:22

my God. Oh my God, fine. You

14:24

look a dick, Goose. That's

14:26

my favourite, I see a little dick. You look a dick,

14:28

Goose. You look a

14:30

dick, Goose. What am I like? What's the like?

14:34

That's not one. That's not one from a panting.

14:36

No. Oh God. Behind me?

14:38

Because that's the whole thing, is it? You made him

14:40

a bit northern. Sorry. Don't

14:44

change a thing. But what is

14:46

it? He's behind you. Oh no he isn't. Oh yeah.

14:48

All that shit, isn't it? No, we get it, but

14:50

this is like the unraveling of a man in front of her

14:52

eyes. Behind me? Oh you

14:55

wish. I wish. I wish. Both

14:58

sizes have gone the same. I

15:02

wish. I wish. What does he want? He's

15:04

doing all the parts from all the

15:07

pantos. It's a one

15:09

man show. This was his prepared audition.

15:12

He's going to leave on a go-knee. It

15:18

started to snow harder and Belinda

15:20

pulled her sheep fluff coat with

15:22

it. Why

15:26

is everyone wearing stupid clothes

15:28

from the future? Sheep fluff. Sheep

15:32

fluff. But

15:38

like the Oscar push. Where'd you get

15:40

the fluff from? Where'd you get it

15:43

from? It started to snow harder and

15:45

Belinda pulled her sheep fluff coat with

15:47

it's black goat skin lip health. Oh

15:50

God. Closer to her knockout knockers. Okay, right.

15:52

A few things. lapels. Oh

15:56

I want a sheep fluff coat. I've never seen

15:58

this in a long time. I like it.

16:00

She's mutton dressed as... I don't even

16:03

know why! I'm not

16:05

dressed as goat! Oh God!

16:07

So that's a look isn't it? It's quite the

16:09

ensemble. You wouldn't miss those two walking out together

16:11

would you? But we don't ski so we don't know.

16:13

That might be the attire. Yeah, sheep fluff

16:15

is quite big in the bell dessert. I'm

16:18

not even going to comment on Knockout Knockers because it's

16:20

given him attention he doesn't deserve. Yes, quite. I

16:27

still need to get my wings. You

16:29

see every time a bell

16:32

end comes an angel

16:34

gets the wings. Very

16:36

good! Very good! Every

16:39

time a bell end comes... A what? An angel gets

16:42

its wings! A bell end comes. A

16:45

bell end! Just a bell end! Just the tip. I'm

16:49

waiting for mine. So every

16:51

time someone comes... Somewhere a friend

16:53

angel gets wings. That must be happening a

16:56

lot. I was going to say

16:58

people come in left right and centre. It's Christmas time as

17:00

well. I hope you think about that next

17:02

time. No don't! Someone

17:05

is saying oh God an angel's got its wings. Oh

17:07

God! No don't!

17:09

Everyone who listens to this genuinely the next time you masturbate or

17:11

have sex you're going to be thinking it. That's

17:15

so true. That's

17:17

really going to ruin a lot of sex. That's

17:19

really going to ruin a lot of fun. Just a bell

17:21

end though right? Not when a woman comes. No just a

17:23

bell end. Belinda

17:30

smiled at the mother. Gloria.

17:33

Gloria! Gloria!

17:40

Hi how are you Gloria?

17:42

Belinda smiled at the mother.

17:45

Gloria! I'm

17:47

wondering... Gloria Ridley.

17:51

Gloria Ridley. My name is Gloria

17:53

Ridley. Belinda

17:55

smiled at the mother. My

17:57

Gloria Ridley. Maria

18:00

really wondering what sort of a

18:02

Christmas Bella had gotten around to

18:04

what was the.cold I was an

18:06

area of got up edible got

18:08

like Christmas name's Kim. My sister

18:10

Holly approved all. Proceeds

18:15

arriving in five of. Us

18:19

a few drinks and socializing. Belinda

18:21

concluded that Rt and Co Rt

18:23

Rt the.with at all to our

18:26

city off the Christmas a society

18:28

assists fun in that. Concluded that

18:30

Rt and Glory of Ridley with fine

18:32

but don't If I'd heard before new

18:34

Bhalla and I knew her parents called

18:36

off to I'm Gloria I just felt

18:38

so she was for very different stories

18:40

about she wasn't the courage to see it

18:43

but the river I've made her the

18:45

car to the of the day she

18:47

could be completely different a different interpretations

18:49

if we really I I said it's in

18:51

the beginning to not be led by

18:53

saying that very misleading documents if we

18:55

actually met that it his I. See.

18:57

Interpretation of me on the post offices

18:59

at one time I find it laughable.

19:01

A specific guess I could drink buttered

19:04

will this has this is. Gym

19:14

Thompson opened the kids hindus

19:16

and out stooped the hunts

19:18

girls who hunts girls of

19:20

the for famous some skills

19:22

the regional sales manager said

19:25

with delight as the full

19:27

beauties push their way onto

19:29

the dense would love. To

19:35

Jolie. As a been hired

19:37

or they invited. I think that been

19:39

hired the other boxer that the hunts

19:41

goes other unskilled ya the huddle together

19:44

with our as a survey the regional

19:46

sales manager said with delight as the

19:48

full beauties push that way on the

19:50

dance floor and started to mingle by

19:53

pushing their employer to them everywhere that

19:55

I think I will not as a

19:57

good guy that everywhere everywhere everywhere. That's

20:00

one of the huns goes

20:02

cold. Doris last hung out

20:05

of this up with. One

20:08

of the huns gov code Doris

20:10

using Dell they play wheels her

20:13

weight and matter if it's just

20:15

one of the have the skills

20:17

code Doris slept says Martin like

20:19

the C. E

20:21

last and apologized and as as.

20:27

A footbridge again away maybe this

20:29

is is basing his elders as

20:31

he last and apologized and asked

20:33

another huntsville what her name. Was. Other

20:36

gods sets a bad light as

20:38

unskilled. Do be so nosy! Learned

20:40

from and decided that we've got a

20:42

century ago. That episode know say that's

20:44

the first cost us alone when you

20:46

meet with my first name is as

20:49

a new. Skills

20:56

Ah, it's insane. Hello!

20:58

What's your name? Do

21:04

pursue newsies but see hits

21:06

you Sexy encode June. Joan

21:11

Joan indoors. God

21:14

is a wonder they're still alive.

21:17

They're a hundred. It's the older

21:19

than said threat. To the during

21:21

some some of those moods and

21:23

physicists mississippi. One, it isn't that

21:26

a massive. To slip

21:28

below that? he's my candy bar.

21:31

And. Forty

21:37

Six Two Departments on

21:39

Emergency. Assistance

21:45

he demanded. Food.

21:47

For mom of stray like

21:49

just by the task collection

21:51

but before the top. Recent

21:53

success. God

22:01

fool mom. just behind the Tassel

22:03

Pulitzer with before the to pre

22:05

says replies a handsome butler in

22:08

training. He

22:10

realized Merry Christmas Mississippi

22:12

shouted as he hopped

22:14

aboard the escalator. On

22:17

flow three. She. Browse the

22:20

collection of bottom plugs and

22:22

rep to trinkets with concentrations

22:24

of simple. That's an unpleasant

22:26

rectal trinkets. Rec

22:28

tilting it does make it sound lovelace.

22:31

She was quite taken with how

22:33

tinsel have been ludicrous be draped

22:35

all over them, but I see

22:37

looked longer. A tightening feeling in

22:39

her stomach quickly extended to her

22:41

left breast nipple who. So what

22:43

what would that be than some a cake is

22:45

going to? Happen in any it was

22:47

always that nipple when something wasn't

22:50

quite wrong, especially that of a

22:52

specific the zip every that we

22:54

the her body intimately By this

22:56

point. But. Then berlin

22:58

to sue the limited edition.

23:00

I have a guy festively

23:03

wrapped upon purchase. In

23:05

brackets as. Favorite

23:07

piece exclusive to Heralds of London

23:10

and the very center of the

23:12

sex toy department of Heralds of

23:14

London. As

23:16

a bad know damn well

23:18

we are there in all

23:20

it's glory, served on a

23:22

minute to fake bed with

23:25

a very long and very

23:27

sick. Dildo. Oh

23:29

god how long and how

23:31

thick the Linda had never

23:33

seen anything quite like it

23:36

on then, despite her years

23:38

of extensive research in the

23:40

area, In lodz. Say.

23:44

Christmas. he writes in

23:46

mississippi with them with the

23:48

big ten the stool exclaimed

23:50

be hold him mood the

23:53

you log a lot of

23:55

a football laws nog that

23:57

sound effects of average say

24:01

Well a log is long as well isn't it? The Yule

24:03

log lover. The Yule log lover. How many people

24:05

are buying the Yule log lover realistically? Well it's

24:07

limited edition, I imagine maybe there's even just that

24:09

one. Yeah and it's successfully wrapped up on purchase

24:11

so... Would you like it or not? Melinda

24:19

dove into his pubes. Running

24:22

the ringlets... Dove into his pubes?

24:24

Christmas. Melinda dove into his pubes,

24:26

running the ringlets through her fingers

24:28

like grated carrot. That is one

24:31

of the greatest things I've ever heard. Oh

24:34

my god. What?

24:37

Oh my god. What? What? She

24:40

died in her hands or her face. Put

24:43

her hand in a cube and it felt

24:45

like grated carrot. It's all like twiddling. She's

24:49

just like twiddling it on her finger. Do you know when

24:51

you like peel a bit of carrot

24:53

and it goes into a... Oh

24:55

my christ. Is that Abbey

24:57

Road Security? I

24:59

think we're getting escorted out. Running

25:02

the ringlets... The ringlets, pubes are ringlets. Well they're kind

25:04

of our ringlets aren't they? I guess it depends how

25:06

thick the thick it is. Cocks through curls for you

25:08

guys. Oh why

25:10

would you run your hands through it? Also

25:13

Jamie's hair is in ringlets and has a little tinge. Oh

25:15

my god. Tinge so if you imagine that, look, bow.

25:17

Look at all that grated carrot on his head. You

25:19

can imagine that, you can imagine the grated carrot. Running

25:22

the ringlets through her fingers. Grated carrot? It's not

25:24

like grated carrot. Yeah. Peels

25:26

maybe. Grated. I

25:33

actually thought that you

25:35

could ask for anything and it was free. I

25:37

guess when you're like six you think that Santa's bringing it.

25:39

So I guess it is free of your mind because obviously

25:42

it's just your parents. Not to shatter

25:44

that illusion for anyone listening to it. I mean if you're

25:46

in a year's podcast it's boring. You should probably know that

25:48

Santa's not real. Your childhood's already ruined though. I think I

25:50

got into my teens before I let go of

25:53

Santa. Are you fucking joking? No. Shut

25:55

up. What do you mean when you say let go? Let go?

26:00

Were you in denial or did you know? You're the

26:02

older sibling too, so did your sister. My

26:04

sister told me. I

26:10

bet Kenny knew it like five. Oh my god,

26:12

your little sister being like James, sit down and he's totally...

26:20

It was part like wanting to go on, like I was

26:23

just a child who loved the magic of it all. James,

26:25

you weren't a child. I

26:27

was just a university student that loved the magic of it

26:29

all. Was there a family in convention?

26:32

Oh my god, did you believe in Santa

26:34

when we met you? No, no,

26:36

no, no, no, no, no. But did everybody gather round and then did you

26:38

walk in the room and it was just loads of members of your

26:40

family? No, no, no, my sister like just one day like

26:42

off hand was just like James, you know Santa's not real.

26:45

And I was like, I think it was not. But

26:48

yeah, I don't get me wrong, like I had

26:51

questions before I was... But

26:54

I went... Don't get

26:56

me wrong, I was curious. And I think I said before

26:58

like the handwriting on Santa's card looks suspiciously like my aunties

27:00

and things like that. But I just

27:02

went along with it because I liked it. Jamie, do you know the

27:04

thing that worries me? All he said is

27:06

teen. He hasn't said where abouts. I

27:09

know, I said 12 or 13. I'm really trying to wish I hadn't. No one listened

27:11

to this, do they? Hopefully

27:14

not. Not anymore. A few years ago.

27:17

I can't believe you're at secondary school. That

27:19

could have been devastating. Jamie,

27:21

edit this out. Sounds like this. I wish I

27:23

had controlled the edit. Fanny

27:31

Bella's brother was undressing into his PJs

27:34

and nightcap. Nightcap? He wears a nightcap.

27:36

That's such a turn off. What

27:40

would you do if you went to sleep with somebody and they wore a nightcap?

27:42

Well, pyjamas full stop are a bit like... What does he

27:44

wear with pyjamas? I mean, I wear a big woolly jumper famously,

27:46

so... Yeah, but

27:48

do you wear like... I imagine you wear

27:50

like a shirt and trousers and pajamas for you.

27:52

Eye mask? Yeah, I do quite

27:55

favour an eye mask, yeah. I knew it.

27:57

Nipple tassels? Only to nine. It

28:01

was an Xmas miracle.

28:04

Benny Bella's brother was undressing into his

28:06

PJs and nightcap. As he

28:08

bent down to remove his designer smalls,

28:11

Belinda got a full-blown view of his

28:13

starker rump. Ooh, rump. Well,

28:18

tickle me stink, Belinda deli- Is that a

28:20

command? Well,

28:23

tickle me stink, Belinda. Well,

28:26

tickle me stink, Belinda. Tickle me

28:28

stink, that's gross. Does

28:30

that mean what I think it means? What? Well,

28:33

why do you think it's gross? Tickle

28:35

me stink. Well, tickle me pink is when

28:37

you tickle someone, till they go red. Oh,

28:39

I've never known what that means. Yeah, me

28:41

neither. Yeah, tickle me until I'm like, that

28:44

has tickled me pink, that has made me go red, that

28:46

has made me laugh and go red. So

28:48

tickle me stink, that's made me laugh

28:50

and what? Shit myself? Or like fart?

28:53

Well, I think it's because he's got his

28:55

bum out, but I don't know. Oh, I

28:58

was hearing it as tickle me stink. Tickle me stink. Yeah.

29:01

But she can see his stink, so why would she be

29:03

saying tickle me stink? We all just stop saying stink. amazon.com/ad-free

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30:43

A mighty spruce stood in

30:45

the great hall as tall as the

30:47

ceiling. Is it like the Hogwarts Great

30:50

Hall? Yeah, I imagine that. Oh, lovely.

30:52

Very Christmassy, very festive. Thousands

30:54

of candles balanced on its

30:56

branches and the... I don't think

30:58

so. I don't

31:00

think so. Whoo-whoo! It's

31:04

the bullshit alarm! Can

31:06

we just think about the logistics of

31:08

lighting and balancing thousands

31:10

of candles on a tall

31:13

spruce tree? Mighty

31:15

spruce, please. Lighting, even bigger

31:17

than I thought. I tell

31:19

you what, there's nothing like a dried

31:22

out pine tree to go up as

31:24

oily as fuck that. That is quite

31:26

literally... Kindling. That

31:29

is like fanning the flame. Thousands

31:32

of candles balanced on its

31:34

branches. Oh, God, come on.

31:36

Think about it. Balance.

31:40

And they said like in holders of some

31:42

sort. Balance. Thousands

31:45

of candles balanced on its branches

31:47

and the tree was decorated with artefacts that dated

31:50

back to Henry VIII's reign of hedonism. Oh, really?

31:53

More wood for the fire. You'd

31:55

think they'd be in a museum, but stick them on a tree, that's

31:57

all that they could play. Can we just remember

31:59

who's... tree it is as well it's

32:01

the duchesses so there'll probably be dildos

32:03

hanging oh yeah just dildo necklaces

32:05

it or the one you know the one with the

32:07

clams sexual jewellery yeah yeah so there'll be all this kind of clean

32:10

pitch all over it Ball

32:16

present licked her nipples clean

32:18

and proceeded to venture deep into

32:21

her Belinda's secret garden

32:27

It ain't no secret, it's a boy in the

32:29

wheelchair there oh

32:33

god he's let him out Maggie

32:35

Smith Mary Lennox needs to get

32:38

a gene I

32:42

don't remember that I don't know what

32:44

I'd do he was a very sickly little boy

32:46

wasn't he used to cry every night oh my

32:49

god Do you remember that bit

32:51

when you couldn't understand Yorkshire? I've never seen it I've

32:53

never read the book I don't know what you know

32:55

oh it's a classic Christmas movie is there a vagina

32:57

in it is is the secret garden behind a vagina

32:59

I don't think it's a metaphor for a vagina I

33:03

think it's literally just a secret garden isn't it yeah I

33:07

think it's just a garden no one knows about and it

33:09

was locked up because the man who owns the big manor

33:11

house his wife died and it was her favorite garden and

33:13

he couldn't bear to look at but then

33:15

Mary Lennox moves in and discovers the key to

33:18

it because of the groundsman stop watching it so

33:20

often I'm not watching it in years me neither

33:22

okay so she finds the garden and she also

33:24

finds a sickly little boy who's trapped in the

33:26

garden but he lives in the same house

33:29

and he's hidden he's hidden like the secret

33:31

garden why is everyone hidden? He's hidden because

33:33

he's not well and he can't take any

33:35

commotion he's

33:38

got commotion items and they basically have

33:40

boarded up the windows which is terrible he makes friends

33:42

with a bird and

33:47

then what happens he died oh does

33:49

he die or maybe he dies but

33:51

then the old man maybe

33:55

he doesn't die but does Maggie Smith die someone

33:57

dies and then someone gets better and it

34:00

finds the garden nice again and then it's no longer

34:02

a secret. That's how it feels. I've formed

34:04

enough topics and what. It's nice to say

34:07

this is very different than a bell. Who

34:15

were you guys in the nativity? Come on. Oh. I

34:18

was Jesus once as a baby. How

34:21

old were you? A baby. Oh right,

34:23

okay. I was seven years old.

34:25

What were you James? I

34:28

was Joseph. Oh, you're so smug being Joseph. So

34:32

gay. Well you know, immaculate can

34:34

say exactly. Well

34:38

exactly it all makes sense now and

34:40

also his hair was always absolutely perfect. On fleek.

34:43

His hair was on fleek. Honestly and it was really

34:45

hot in where was it? Nazareth. Nazareth.

34:47

Oh man. Yeah I

34:49

played Joseph and I remember my line, she tells me

34:51

that she's pregnant and obviously I'm surprised because I'm gay.

34:59

I'm like not possible. So

35:02

wait, in your version were you just like

35:04

a great gal pal for Mary? Yeah, we'd

35:07

like go on a gay night out and

35:09

so she tells me she's pregnant and then

35:11

I obviously have to react and be surprised

35:13

and I just like literally step back and

35:15

lean back and went, that's

35:18

great Mary but we have to go to

35:20

Bethlehem and the teacher was like James it's

35:22

a little bit hammy, it's a little bit

35:24

smoother. So I kept trying to tone it down but

35:26

I couldn't, I mean it's the performer in me, I couldn't help it. I'm

35:29

just imagining you, that gas would have been like, oh

35:33

no she didn't. You did what? You did

35:35

what girl? Gas queen. Obviously Joseph

35:37

wasn't gay, we're totally joking. Yeah

35:41

obviously. But like Metro. What

35:43

did you play Al? I was, oh this

35:45

won't surprise you. Hang on can we guess?

35:47

Okay. If she was

35:49

a butcher in all of those she's probably like. Yeah were you like

35:51

a sheep? A

35:53

Bull. Some wretched animal that's just being dragged out of

35:56

the manger. Remember

36:00

the baby's I think if if it's a

36:02

plump she's ready to the phyllis. Other issues

36:04

of Reckoning: People who have no rid of

36:07

the so we're in. A. Lot my senate

36:09

leg. she's the P. I to being

36:11

teeth. That's

36:14

not able to assist. Let's see lots

36:16

of sacked unless they might oliver my

36:18

bookings.com and not even a twin sister

36:20

attributes of know what I said. That

36:23

means that they said nine dataset office

36:25

and I wasn't racist ah of course

36:27

you are thing is it it shouldn't

36:29

even have to the lines of as

36:31

you just held the book in their

36:33

homes and just to reads I thought

36:36

would make. A

36:38

clipboard. It's different.

36:47

Out of your manifests as well as

36:49

themselves so other any kind of three

36:51

so rituals we should be doing a

36:53

foreigner to make for it's a good

36:55

night at the Panto, so cool warm

36:57

up. Oh yeah, rats. Is or that kind

36:59

of other things that such sites one another for

37:01

the know that he didn't call it a mess,

37:03

he couldn't the the in it's ostracize playing and

37:05

are there any other citizens. In. I should have a

37:07

with the benefits of oh why far as bad

37:10

luck I'm so putting a peacock feather Wednesday it's.

37:19

Pretty easy to seek alternatives. To

37:23

sift through. A metal detector test and

37:25

I will not have to fight. It off because

37:27

as as far as the already Mississippi supplicants thing

37:30

was the aren't I think is because they do.

37:32

They have that sort of like circling them as

37:34

a lot of like his old school access code

37:36

of the evil eye for some of our school

37:38

it has identified as the lane said a lot.

37:43

Of. The

37:45

service it's a set of because that's about

37:47

have played so it's of is quite old

37:49

dry going to simulate the replace a cloud

37:51

in what's that you on my Priscilla Queen

37:53

of. of spasms

37:55

and there are other ones that are from

37:57

a really old time so of your own

37:59

amazing from really old times, so go on. But

38:01

I was taught you can never apply your makeup with

38:03

a rabbit's foot. Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha!

38:06

Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha!

38:08

Hahaha! These are just common,

38:10

that's common sense. That's

38:12

not a true fear to tradition. That's just bad methodology.

38:15

Well because it is good look to keep a rabbit's

38:17

foot in the makeup box. But I also heard that

38:19

it's bad luck to knit backstage in the wings. God,

38:22

what other ones? There were loads. I wonder how he knows these.

38:24

Do you think he's just been like knitting a jumper at the

38:26

side of the stage? You're like James, you can't. Make

38:29

your pinko come! Hahaha! Hahaha!

38:31

Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha!

38:35

Hahaha! My Nana would always be

38:37

fast asleep and we'd be like, okay fam,

38:39

just watch something on TV, change the channel.

38:42

Immediately she'd know. Immediately. And one year we

38:44

just said, you know, we're not gonna do

38:46

it. We're just gonna just power through. Don't

38:49

care what Nana's doing. Hahaha! So

38:51

we changed the channel and she was like, what,

38:54

where's downtown? Hahaha! I want

38:56

downtown on! Down to Nabi

38:58

everybody. Hahaha! And nobody even

39:00

looked at her. We just like,

39:02

eyes on the TV. Hahaha! But

39:04

downtown, I need downtown. When's it's

39:06

on? When's it's on, Wilma? Hahaha!

39:08

My auntie was there and she

39:10

cracked and she goes, it's

39:13

on now! Hahaha!

39:17

Well why aren't we watching? I love it when

39:19

people snap. I love it when they break. They get

39:21

to break in point. It's too good. Nana's can be super

39:23

human when it comes to the TV. I remember Mike

39:25

Wommel used to be sat at the Christmas table for

39:27

lunch. She'd hear the first few

39:30

bars of the Coronation Street theme tune. She'd

39:32

run like Mo Farris in the movie. I've

39:34

never seen anything like it. It

39:36

was the only time we ever see her run. Oh

39:40

Christmas. Oh Christmas. For

39:47

there, sitting there, nervous

39:49

as a couple of virgins,

39:53

sat Peter and Christina Rouse.

39:55

In the fertility clinic, OK.

39:57

I cannot wait to hear Rocky.

40:00

deal with what I imagine is going to

40:02

be quite an emotional delicate subject of difficulty

40:04

with fertility. Excuse me lovely couple who

40:06

I've ever met. She winked

40:08

a spoons. Oh yeah, good one,

40:11

babe. May I ask the source

40:13

of your problem? No, you may

40:15

fuck off. Who are you? The couple

40:17

looked up at this stunning stranger.

40:20

It is me. I'm afraid, miss.

40:22

I'm impotent. Peter Rauss is impotent. Oh, is

40:25

that all? Blender shrugged. I've worked with loads

40:27

of impotent people, I wouldn't worry. How

40:30

does she know that? It's going on!

40:34

No! Cried Christina. He

40:36

can't get it up. Right.

40:38

Okay. Bear

40:41

with it guys, come on. Okay, keep going. Keep

40:43

this train on the side. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris.

40:45

Oh, the days are coming, oh the days are coming. Oh

40:48

god, you must believe in it, you must believe

40:50

in it. So basically when Peter has sex in

40:53

this universe, no friend angels are getting their wings.

40:55

Oh yeah, never, not once. And

40:57

she's upset and they're sobbing in Dutch. Belinda

41:00

was amazed. Oh, have

41:02

no fear, madam. May I try

41:04

something on your hub? She

41:06

spoke, sure is a soothsayer. Anything!

41:11

We're desperate! Who's that? The rouse is said

41:13

in unison. Oh, crikey. We'll put that together.

41:15

That's how they never speak in unison ever

41:17

again. Should we do it, Al? So Jocstine

41:19

run Peter, anything we're desperate. Anything we're desperate.

41:21

Okay. Anything we're

41:23

desperate! Smiling,

41:27

Belinda pulled up her festive mini

41:29

skirt and showed Peter

41:31

her fleshy fruit of fertility.

41:35

Her fleshy fruit of fertility.

41:38

Oh my wood, I feel

41:40

something, Peter exclaimed. This

41:43

is so deeply offensive. The suggestion being

41:46

that their fertility issue is

41:48

that Christina can't make Peter hard.

41:51

Yeah. And all that was

41:53

required was for him to look at someone

41:55

sexy. That's not a fertility issue. A

41:57

fertility issue isn't like, yeah, we're doing the test. I

42:00

don't fancy your wife, it's not that big. Your wife's familiar,

42:02

nothing we can do about that I'm afraid. Is that

42:04

the surgery? We

42:06

think of rhinoplasty in an eyeless and then

42:08

you should be able to have twins. Either you

42:11

go blind or she takes the place completely.

42:13

You choose. The

42:19

card read, for the juices

42:21

of your choice, Love

42:23

and Light, Your Duchess. Oh,

42:26

it read it in the Duchess voice. It's

42:28

nice that, it's a nice touch. It's

42:30

like when people leave a letter for somebody in

42:32

a soap opera but it's in their voice. In their

42:34

voice, yeah. What it say, Love and Light, for

42:36

the juices of your choice. I

42:38

like for the juices of your choice. Love and

42:40

Light, Your Duchess.

42:42

Namaste, the Duchess. Yeah,

42:45

Love and Light is very peace and love isn't it? Yeah,

42:47

she started yoga or something apparently. Belinda nearly

42:49

dropped the glistening artefact in her

42:51

shape. Fuck's sake. Oh

42:54

no! There's

42:58

a number one next to the nose. Oh

43:00

no! Oh,

43:04

pressure! Oh,

43:06

pressure! So, I imagine...

43:10

I'm not writing no one. Oh, maybe. Oh,

43:12

no one. So

43:16

we're going to say that's an exclamation mark. Oh, we've

43:19

all done that. Especially when you write loads of exclamation

43:21

marks. Yeah, because there's always a

43:23

one at the end. There's quite a lot of

43:25

O's so we've just probably got very excited. It's

43:27

a tricky business, just typing Malaki. Versatility

43:35

was Bella's bro's passion and

43:37

he moved his Christmas cracker

43:39

into her front hole. Front

43:41

hole? There's no matter for

43:43

that. It's just the front

43:45

hole. He's

43:49

checking out. The

43:51

organisms were orgasming. I

43:53

hate them being called organisms. They're sort

43:56

of like bacteria. The

43:58

organisms were orgasming. The

46:00

study licked her chops, saw his

46:03

chops. Her head would argue that

46:05

with the fifth of a separate

46:07

you better believe it or not

46:09

is as effort to those. Had a

46:11

beef. Curtains have never had of lamb chops. Hospitals

46:13

and doctors and shots as

46:16

they peel back the duchess

46:18

third to the lift. As

46:20

simple as Belinda groans. The.

46:22

Duchess hum, what's in

46:24

had aspiring pussy meet?

46:26

oh. It's

46:38

just sad. To

46:41

see nice to Rothys me,

46:43

pussy me and shops. Oh

46:45

My. God. there's an. Awful. Down By.

46:49

Advised me that's been on. A

46:53

specific to flip up the fruit of

46:55

of only thought that doesn't even in

46:57

a sunset some of my mouth up

47:00

aspiring pussy me is actually making me

47:02

all. It does. Gave us again a couple dozen.

47:04

Know.dot is that is

47:06

clammy that was running

47:08

as oh my gawd

47:11

his a picture spam

47:13

subgroups. That.

47:17

accept spammed. He doesn't need

47:20

the key to as to the can get

47:22

some that to keep that. Something to end

47:24

of it since you ask them how

47:26

to find done as the of honestly

47:28

I'm getting something. your eyes watering us

47:30

so the depths his hummed what's in

47:32

your home for. Me of a. Stroke

47:38

very high as high that me.

47:41

The doctors hummed what he could have

47:43

a spy run for those mary. I'm

47:45

not saying it. I have the Earth or.

47:48

Maybe Dory I says when

47:51

sex. Not making me feel a

47:53

little just when it was deemed west

47:55

enough. The

47:57

Duchess twisted the sick candy.

48:00

Lane into her mistress reduce.

48:02

it allows the x Miss

48:04

traditions of snoring acts, miss

48:06

tradition and ssssss the in

48:08

anyone's house homeland. I honestly

48:10

feel the in. The

48:17

lenders. Tits. Sure

48:19

with lust. For

48:22

some of that, whilst her nipples

48:24

hard it in and society. As

48:29

a. Month levels of

48:31

hard aid false her nipples heart

48:33

is in anticipation of what Mr.

48:35

Clues about to do with her

48:37

body. Her cervix tightened

48:40

automatically. Sign: I mean up and South

48:42

Sudanese married my our aim at a

48:44

at a agree with you America and

48:46

a half a uterus. Each.

48:49

One of them needed a fuck as

48:51

much as the other. And no one.

48:53

Yes, no One was going to stop

48:55

them now. I take two things.

48:57

One, I'm pretty sure that Sansa

49:00

needs more. Of a fuck them been under

49:02

a success with don't want to go through the

49:04

best known as that apply of us but I'm

49:06

gonna say it's it's own of a lot of

49:08

an allowance of really need answer comes vote for

49:10

you know the. Law.

49:17

Because. Of

49:20

a. Oh very

49:22

good. They

49:28

lay their sweat dripping down

49:30

there cause. It. Was the

49:32

duchess to break for such as breathing.

49:35

Remember most most votes,

49:38

Loads of. Fun

49:42

to see. used to to

49:45

smooth me him his. Status.

49:49

Or it's a spy we're sorry. Thinks

49:51

that doesn't make from has been no

49:54

bc perceptual emphasis is that. But I'm

49:56

confused. Does. this make me

49:58

and most people Oh,

50:00

Gertrude, Belinda replied. Labels

50:03

are for gifts under the tree, never

50:06

for those who are sexually free. Yes,

50:08

Rocky. Belinda slash Rocky. Yeah, love that.

50:10

Is that on a t-shirt? What was

50:12

it? Labels are for gifts under the

50:15

tree, never for those

50:17

who are sexually free. Oh. Really

50:19

like that. Really like that. Is there time

50:21

to add that to the Christmas merch line?

50:23

Yeah, basically, that'll fly up the shelves. He's

50:25

learning. He's learning, isn't he? And poetry. Yeah, it's

50:28

quite good though, I think, yeah. Better than some

50:30

of your rhymes, actually, James. Happy,

50:32

how dare you, I was 10. With credit

50:34

to him though, he's always been about

50:37

the label-less life. Totally. I

50:39

think mainly because it probably just all confuses him quite a lot,

50:41

so he's like, I just won't comment on it. You be whatever

50:43

you wanna be, it's easier for me, have we? More

50:46

material. More material. It

50:52

was Christmas. Yes. Have a good

50:54

one. Sorry. Was

50:57

this the whole thing? Basically,

50:59

you know, I've got this. It was

51:01

Christmas. Have a good one. Ah!

51:04

Weirdest Christmas card ever. And

51:13

here's a little bit of Christmas

51:16

unheard content. Actually, speaking of that,

51:18

in your house when you were younger, and

51:20

actually now, Yeah. I'm not sure. I'm

51:22

not sure. When you bought somebody a present, it was a surprise. We

51:25

were never encouraged to ask for anything specific, actually, we

51:27

always would ask for surprises, mainly

51:29

because my parents couldn't afford the things that we'd

51:31

have wanted. So you'll get surprises, but

51:35

then no one's disappointed that way. Because I remember my brother

51:37

being really excited that he bought me a present. And the

51:39

present for me was just getting him into trouble. So

51:42

I said, oh, like just so you know, like Nana's

51:45

got me the Louise album on CD. So

51:47

as long as you've not got me that, because she's got me a

51:49

present. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna get you a present.

51:51

So as long as you've not got me that, because it felt like

51:54

that, you know, like under the tree, it was

51:56

like square. It's Louise. Louise the- Which is

51:58

the Naked era. It was Naked, yeah. Yeah, it

52:00

was the album Naked. International listeners, I think are

52:02

only album. I think so, yeah. Although she has

52:04

come back recently. Oh, fantastic. She was in the Eternal,

52:06

right? Big fan of Eternal. Yeah, she is. Was

52:09

a big fan. And Max was like, oh no. Oh,

52:11

but, and I went, so you've got it

52:13

for me. And then I went, ma-am! Max,

52:16

you told me what he's got.

52:18

You're a Christmas. Had, I'm so not surprised,

52:20

because that is how you live your life today. What

52:22

a vile little rat. And

52:24

he hasn't forgotten it. He was

52:26

so devastated, because he'd really like,

52:28

height up to the gram reveal

52:30

of Louise Nake's. Speaking of this,

52:32

I actually have your birthday present still in this

52:34

house, which I know was

52:36

six months ago, but I forgot to give it to you. Do

52:39

you want it now? Is this a joke? It

52:41

is real. You'll think it's a joke, but it

52:43

had a heartfelt meaning to me. Is this a

52:45

rostin basket of fruit or something? Bear with. You

52:49

better not have got me Louise on CD. It's

52:51

funny what that story reminded me of. It's

52:55

not Louise on CD. Quite

52:58

the... It's Britney Spears

53:00

on vinyl. Britney Spears on vinyl?

53:02

Do you know why? That's a

53:04

good one. Thank you.

53:06

Because... I cannot wait for this

53:08

explanation. When we're backstage before

53:10

a show, Alice's

53:13

go-to song to play is sometimes...

53:17

Yes, we do love sometimes. And I was

53:19

like, just to always remember that you

53:21

now can play it on your vinyl machine. And

53:24

it's got a picture of Britney printed on the

53:26

actual vinyl. It's quite an iconic image. Super rare,

53:28

this is why. I had to get it from

53:30

America. Super rare. Well, free

53:32

Britney. She's free. Oh my goodness, thank you so

53:34

much, Jamie. And I will, of course, bring a vinyl

53:36

player with us on tour so that we

53:38

can play from the original... As she intended

53:41

Britney Burns on the KFC vinyl. Just going

53:43

back to the surprises as presents. Oh, sorry,

53:45

yes. That doesn't really happen in my

53:47

house. Everyone very specifically knows what they want

53:50

and asks for it and expects it. In

53:53

fact, we do like a round robin email

53:55

chain where everyone like puts their Christmas list

53:58

on it. And I had my stepdad. request

54:01

for this year for this year the other

54:03

day amazing both of these I

54:05

was like what are they first the

54:07

bike carrier for Kia hatchback for two times

54:09

bike how

54:13

brand-specific second card

54:15

models from Brookfield

54:17

Garden Center card

54:19

model that's it

54:22

that is it from Brookfield Garden

54:25

Center it's near it's

54:27

been Nottingham it's a lovely garden center

54:29

James is hoping he's got a little

54:31

dizzy on that one he

54:33

just read those out so they'll bring them to him for free as I

54:35

have to pay for them oh look we just got the DM from Kia

54:38

I've got some hanging baskets does

54:42

that not take all the excitement out of

54:44

Christmas morning yes you know what you're hoping

54:47

because I'm like buying me a surprise yeah

54:49

just like one person gets somebody and then

54:51

somebody so everyone only gets one gift

54:53

oh yeah it's a secret Santa situation

54:55

right okay even less exciting get

54:58

one thing you know what it is hang

55:09

on here's the ultimate test still got that

55:12

vinyl I actually do I've got all the

55:14

vinyls because rocky's a big vinyl gifter as

55:16

well yeah very good vinyl actually

55:18

you'd think it would be sort of novelty

55:20

right no no good stuff do you

55:23

have a vinyl player I do you

55:25

have a CD player for Louise sadly

55:27

no I couldn't tell you where that is now

55:29

although my brother will be completely thrilled that justice has

55:31

been served and everybody knows he

55:34

finally come clean he actually looks

55:36

like quite often like he was a nasty

55:38

thing to do nasty woman did you buy

55:49

the Kia bike car I

55:51

think that was from 2021 if that helped me got all right

55:55

archivist Jesus thank God someone's on it just because you

55:57

about to go on tour do you mean you know from

55:59

the audio or you always know because you know what James has

56:01

stepped out gets the coffee do you know what I've got him

56:03

again this year oh god I shouldn't say that cuz

56:06

James he's not missing a bit that's true

56:09

well this week this year he wants

56:12

a coffee machine a Bosch coffee machine

56:14

what do you want some cardboard cardboard

56:16

last year I'm like what after the

56:18

past he wants a bloody sage so he

56:20

can do his barista impression I said he

56:22

wants a bloody sage so he can get

56:24

his barista impression Alice stop trying

56:26

to spunk on Mike she's choosing

56:30

everywhere today I

56:32

haven't done my secret Santa list this year I need to send

56:34

mine what do I want Alice

56:37

I've got everything I need hashtag left you

56:39

like smelly things don't you like expensive many things

56:41

I feel like it really like quite expensive clothes

56:43

I have got into candles recently what I

56:45

will say is if you do get a

56:47

posh candle this Christmas you only need

56:49

to burn it for half an hour at a time

56:52

okay that is my recommendation that true they are designed

56:54

to be used you are wasting your own money if

56:56

you're continuing to burn them after that they will hang

56:58

on that's actually a massive

57:00

life hack what you supposed to burn them half an

57:02

hour and blow them out why because

57:04

they're supposed to that's supposed

57:06

to emit that gives you all you need

57:08

for a bit yeah to keep burning

57:10

it is to sort of like overdo it so

57:12

just emit for a bit emit for a bit is

57:14

my mantra so hang on so how long does that

57:16

bit last for so

57:22

like for you you would burn it for half an hour

57:24

then leave it but suppose you've

57:30

got people like here all evening would

57:32

you leave it for two hours and stop burning it again

57:34

for half an hour no I think I

57:37

might set fire to it while they're

57:39

here proper parlour pop

57:42

it out yeah half an hour after that I

57:44

don't think I'd be relighting that really I might

57:46

have a decorative non-scented candle out for everyone to

57:48

enjoy I don't need to be

57:50

burning that you'd swap it out you sneaky

57:52

little bitch so don't listen to take that

57:55

don't relight your fire don't forgot take down

57:58

and my full circle from Brittany to

58:00

Louise to take that it really

58:02

is Christmas and Patti LaBelle it's

58:05

in the musical episode everyone. I

58:07

might need to catch it.

58:09

What? I think it might be bullshit.

58:11

What do you admit for a bit?

58:13

Forbes says I'm wrong. What

58:16

does it say? It says,

58:18

first time you burn it it should be for two

58:20

to three hours. And

58:23

it says, make sure you're never burning

58:25

for just 20 minutes. Oh

58:28

my! Sorry to get

58:30

that least an hour. You're talking

58:32

out your arse. I

58:34

don't know. Where did I get that from? Do you

58:36

have any Christmas tips? Well actually, critically we always

58:39

do a Beef Wellington and the secret to that

58:41

is chopping your mushrooms so

58:43

tiny that it basically becomes

58:45

a paste. And you

58:47

do a lovely Wellington. Actually what you need to

58:49

get is the Wellington tool. I'm sorry?

58:52

It's a special tool that goes over your pastry.

58:54

You know when you do the little dashed lines

58:56

in it. There's a roller which makes the dashed

58:58

lines very even so when

59:00

you open up the pastry jacket

59:02

that goes on the Wellington it's

59:04

perfect. Oh wow. That's a great tip but I

59:06

don't believe a word that comes out your mouth. And

59:11

you must never cook a Wellington for

59:13

more than half an hour. Turkey can

59:15

be eaten raw. Sushi

59:18

turkey anybody? I'm going straight to dip

59:20

tea to ask them where I got this from. There we go.

59:22

Neither be a f***y shout out at the end. Right

59:26

well our gift to you was this hour

59:28

away from your family or maybe it brings

59:30

the families together who knows but we've

59:32

got to wrap it up at some point so

59:35

I think all that remains to say is Merry

59:37

Christmas. Merry Christmas and Alice. Happy New Year. Yes.

59:41

And happy holidays. Happy holidays

59:43

to you and yours. To you and

59:45

yours. One, two, three. To

59:47

you and yours. Tired

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test. How's the world's best? Here's

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1:00:26

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1:00:28

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1:00:31

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1:00:33

Eats writer and comedians and a Breast

1:00:35

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