0:00

Hello and welcome to

0:02

My Time Capital. I'm

0:04

Mike Fenton Stevens and

0:06

my time caption is

0:09

the podcast where people

0:11

tell me five things from

0:13

their life they wish they

0:15

had in a time capsule.

0:17

They picked four things they

0:20

cherish, they'd like to bury

0:22

and forget. And my guest

0:24

in this episode is the

0:26

actor Chris Marshall. Chris has

0:29

been an almost permanent presence

0:31

on our screens since the

0:33

Millennium when he first started

0:35

appearing as Nick Harper, the

0:37

oldest son in my family.

0:40

Since then his career has included

0:42

playing Colin in the 2003 film

0:44

Love Actually, Graziano in the Al

0:46

Pacino, Jeremy Ians and Ralph Fiennes

0:48

film of The Merchant of Venice.

0:51

Murder City. The very funny films

0:53

are Few Best Men and A

0:55

Few Less Men. Fun Land. Heist.

0:57

My Life in Film. Sandition. And

0:59

he played Dave in the first

1:02

series of Citizen Khan. He also

1:04

played D.I. Humphrey Goodman in Death

1:06

in Paradise from 2014 to 2017.

1:08

And he reprised the role in

1:10

Beyond Paradise in 2020-23. The third

1:13

series of Beyond Paradise begins its

1:15

run on BBC television on Friday

1:17

the 28th. All of your listeners.

1:19

to this in the future some

1:21

time ago. But never fear, it's

1:24

available on Eye Player if you

1:26

missed it. It stars Chris and

1:28

Sally Breton from Not Going Out

1:30

and features Felicity Montague from Alan

1:33

Partridge amongst many other very good

1:35

actors. There's a link in the

1:37

written description of this episode. So

1:39

that's Chris's life in tele and films,

1:41

the stuff we see. But what will

1:43

he choose from his life that we

1:45

don't see to put in his time

1:47

capsule? Here is the rather lovely Chris

1:49

Marshall. This

1:52

is my first podcast actually ever. Wow!

1:54

So you are popping my podcast

1:56

cherry. So to speak. I'm very

1:58

proud to. done that. I think

2:00

I may have done it with

2:02

a couple of people you know

2:04

as well strangely enough. I think,

2:07

well I'm going to pop, but

2:09

this sounds disgusting, I'm going to

2:11

pop Felicity Montague's cherry at some

2:13

point soon. Oh that sounds delightful.

2:15

It doesn't it just? I'm sure

2:17

she's looking forward to it enormously.

2:19

And also a long time ago

2:21

when I first started this podcast

2:23

I spoke to Kevin Bishop. Oh

2:25

Kevin. Yeah. Kevin and I have,

2:27

I mean I've known Kevin Kevin

2:29

for. I don't know, well over

2:31

20 years, maybe 25 years now,

2:34

he played a character in my

2:36

family years ago. And we became

2:38

friends then. And then we did

2:40

a series of movies in Australia

2:42

together. They're fantastic films, I think.

2:44

I don't know if people know

2:46

them. I think a few best

2:48

men is one of my favorite

2:50

films. The scene where Kevin... does

2:52

the coke-tup speech at the end.

2:54

It's one of the funniest, you

2:56

know, there are loads and loads

2:58

if you think back, there are

3:01

loads and loads through the history

3:03

of film and television of people

3:05

making speeches at weddings. And that

3:07

is one of the funniest without

3:09

a doubt. Don't you think? I

3:11

thought it was absolutely brilliant, yeah,

3:13

and I was just this amazing

3:15

mimic. He can sort of mimic

3:17

anybody. His impressions are really so

3:19

uncanny. I think he can't do

3:21

me actually, but he would refute

3:23

that. But we actually shared a

3:25

flat in Bondi. Yeah, during the

3:28

making of that film. And... Oh,

3:30

it sounds like hell. It was

3:32

hell, actually. It was... It was

3:34

sort of running that really fine

3:36

line between hell and massively hell.

3:38

Yeah, it was, no, it was

3:40

delightful, but we did get into

3:42

a bit of trouble. Yes, I

3:44

can imagine. Which I, which I

3:46

shan't, uh, divulge or, you know.

3:48

No, no. What goes on in

3:50

Bondi says in Bondi? Well, exactly,

3:52

exactly. I've been in a similar

3:55

situation with Kevin in Benidorm, which

3:57

you can imagine must have been

3:59

just as much fun. He was

4:01

slightly uncontrollable, but very good fun.

4:03

Yeah, well, you know, he's a

4:05

genius, so you know, you have

4:07

to take the rough of this

4:09

means. Yes, yeah, absolutely. Whereas me...

4:11

Fairly middle of the road, so

4:13

I'm all right. You're a genius

4:15

as well. And I think we've

4:17

worked together a couple of times,

4:19

actually. We have. I seem to

4:22

remember you doing a partner TV

4:24

show I did many years ago

4:26

called Murder City. Wow, well remembered.

4:28

Yeah. That was a tough day,

4:30

wasn't it? That was a tough

4:32

day. That was. There were all

4:34

tough days. Yeah, where I was,

4:36

I think that was my first

4:38

portrayal of a slightly off-the-wall strange

4:40

policeman. Something I've sort of made

4:42

a career of, it appears. It

4:44

looks like it, yeah. I know.

4:46

Do you think that was the

4:49

thing then? Do you think they

4:51

saw Murder City and thought, hang

4:53

on a minute, actually, this is

4:55

a really interesting way to approach

4:57

this, because nearly everybody who plays

4:59

those parts, you just stay very

5:01

serious and just go, and then

5:03

what happened Mr Johnson? No, I

5:05

mean, I've kind of grew up

5:07

with, you know, Colombo. I was

5:09

always a huge fan of Colombo

5:11

and Jim Rockford. And, you know,

5:13

Colombo especially had this sort of

5:16

a strange way of disarming people

5:18

by making them think he was

5:20

a fool. And then literally spinning

5:22

around at the end and just

5:24

completely pulling the rug out from

5:26

underneath them. And I was just,

5:28

I was enthralled by Peter Falk.

5:30

and the way he did that

5:32

and just the writing. And so

5:34

I don't think these two things

5:36

are necessarily connected. And Medicity was

5:38

a slightly different character to Humphrey

5:40

Goodman in Death and Paradise and

5:43

Beyond Paradise. But you know, it's...

5:45

When it came up to replacing

5:47

or when the BBC were looking

5:49

to replace Ben Miller in Death

5:51

in Paradise, it was just one

5:53

of those things where I got

5:55

sent the script and it was

5:57

like, you know, slightly cookie, slightly

5:59

off the wall, quirky cop and

6:01

I just thought, look, I can

6:03

imbue, as I like to do,

6:05

sort of imbue this character with

6:07

all my sort of homages and...

6:10

you know, or the stuff I've

6:12

cleaned over many years. And so,

6:14

and I still do that to

6:16

this day. I keep sort of

6:18

embellishing, or stealing, maybe is another

6:20

word, plate rising. Old characters. I

6:22

think our largest best. The large

6:24

works best, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

6:26

it sounds nice. Did they warn

6:28

you about the heat then, when

6:30

you took on the job? They

6:32

didn't, no. I mean, I had

6:34

heard stories. about extreme heat. But

6:37

I was like, you know, I've

6:39

been abroad and, you know, you

6:41

know, I just live in Hong

6:43

Kong, I know about heat, you

6:45

know, so, I mean, on the

6:47

one hand, it's the whole, because

6:49

they film it in the off-season,

6:51

so the rainy season in the

6:53

Caribbean, which is mainly cheaper, because

6:55

it's obviously not the main tourist

6:57

season. but it is the sort

6:59

of the more much more humid

7:01

season so you do get useful

7:04

sunny days of course but it

7:06

rains nearly every day and it's

7:08

just and until it rains it

7:10

builds up this incredible humidity and

7:12

it can get up to 40

7:14

41 degrees in terms of heat

7:16

which is again is manageable when

7:18

you're on a beach in a

7:20

nice pair of you know budgy

7:22

smugglers but but when you're when

7:24

you're dressed in a suit And

7:26

as you well know, Mike, you

7:28

know, there is a lot of

7:31

lights in filmmaking. And because of

7:33

the light in the Caribbean, it's

7:35

particularly bright, they have to match

7:37

the light inside to the light

7:39

outside. And so what they do

7:41

is they sort of bung every

7:43

light they've got on the truck.

7:45

into this room when you're filming

7:47

inside to bring the light levels

7:49

so they match with outside and

7:51

and you slowly began to just

7:53

just cook and you get these

7:56

sort of um you know as

7:58

to the nature of procedural crime

8:00

dramas god love them they've got

8:02

quite intricate in the way you

8:04

know in their sort of vernacular

8:06

and the way the way it's

8:08

all written and if you get

8:10

a word out of place the

8:12

whole thing kind of starts to

8:14

unravel. So because of the nature

8:16

of, you know, surmising a crime,

8:18

you keep going over the sort

8:20

of same thing, you know, you

8:23

sort of flag it up for

8:25

the audience a bit, and then

8:27

you sort of, you know, and

8:29

you keep readdressing the same points.

8:31

And because you tend to film

8:33

everything in that, let's just say

8:35

in the police station, in one

8:37

day, you keep going over 20,

8:39

30, 40 times. The same... pieces

8:41

of dialogue, albeit written in a

8:43

slightly different way, and you just

8:45

start to go mad. You just

8:47

literally start because the heat is

8:50

building and building and building and

8:52

because it doesn't really rain until

8:54

about four in the afternoon, you

8:56

know, you get to about two

8:58

in the afternoon and it comes

9:00

excruciating. And I took a temperature

9:02

gauge in the police station where

9:04

it's the worst, because all those

9:06

sort of factors are concentrated. and

9:08

I took a temperature reading and

9:10

it was 51 degrees. Oh my

9:12

God. But the work... And everybody's

9:14

in uniform? Everyone's in uniform and

9:17

so... And you're in a suit?

9:19

Yeah, in a suit. I mean

9:21

I... Fortunately I didn't have a

9:23

tie, so... Very good choice. You

9:25

know, yeah, thanks have small mercies.

9:27

But you know, but he sort

9:29

of... He sort of manifests that

9:31

frustration in different ways. Because I

9:33

would just get to a point

9:35

where I just couldn't function. and

9:37

also 100 meters away is this

9:39

beautiful glist. wonderful blue sea as

9:41

your blue Caribbean sea just sort

9:44

of waving at you in the

9:46

distance and yes and you just

9:48

there is a story isn't there

9:50

that's it may be apocryphal that

9:52

that Ben at one point just

9:54

went I can't and he just

9:56

ran in the sea in his

9:58

suit well like a redgy pairing

10:00

so like a redi parent that's

10:02

it a redi parent yeah yeah

10:04

I don't know if that's apocryphal

10:06

I haven't asked Ben about that,

10:08

but I did hear that story

10:11

as well. No, I've done an

10:13

episode of it. I did mine

10:15

with Ralph in the last series

10:17

before, before Don, Don, Gile, so

10:19

I've experienced it. I've had that

10:21

thing of trying to concentrate while

10:23

tiny, tiny little flies drink from

10:25

the tear ducks in your eye.

10:27

Oh, yeah, they're sweatbeats, they're called.

10:29

Yeah. But it's a delightful show.

10:31

It's a great show. Wonderful years.

10:33

The thing that's amazing about it

10:35

is that everybody watches it and

10:38

thinks, wow, God, that must be

10:40

heaven. Actually, it's interesting to talk

10:42

about the fact that it's not

10:44

as easy as it looks. Yeah,

10:46

it's hard work to make it

10:48

look that easy. Yeah. You know,

10:50

so... Well done. But then when

10:52

they said to you, would you

10:54

like to come down and film?

10:56

Well, you filmed, but you'd like

10:58

to have somewhere based in Devon

11:00

based in Devon Yeah, yeah, I

11:02

mean we film actually both in

11:05

Devon and Cornwall. We film right

11:07

down the Tamar Valley, which is

11:09

a really beautiful part of Devon

11:11

and Cornwall and it's an area

11:13

I know well as we'll find

11:15

out as we get into this

11:17

pod. Yes. And I was just

11:19

like this is delightful, you know,

11:21

it's it's encompassing all the great

11:23

facets of death and paradise and

11:25

I can get to go home

11:27

at weekend. So it's an absolute

11:29

no-brainer. really and it's a fantastic

11:32

cast I mean it's just yeah

11:34

I've worked with nearly everybody in

11:36

the cast and they are gorgeous

11:38

people it's delightful you know and

11:40

as you know you know when

11:42

you're on a long run I

11:44

you sort of you you tend

11:46

to to become a little small

11:48

traveling band of players, you know,

11:50

and more and more years, if

11:52

you're lucky enough to do it,

11:54

you sort of become closer and

11:56

closer, you get to know their

11:59

families, their friends, and their lives,

12:01

really, because you become, because you're

12:03

away from home for a long

12:05

time and you become like a

12:07

sort of de facto family. So

12:09

yeah, yeah. And with the crew

12:11

as well. Well and it sounds

12:13

a bit glib really but it's

12:15

just such a sort of delightful

12:17

way to go to work and

12:19

it's um yeah I love it.

12:21

Great well so got third series

12:23

starting March the 28th. Thanks for

12:26

the plug. No that's what I'm

12:28

here for. I thought we weren't

12:30

supposed to plug things on this

12:32

part. No you can plug away

12:34

I'm happy to plug but we're

12:36

gonna... We're going to pull the

12:38

plug out in a minute and

12:40

see what comes down. So we

12:42

can do that. I mean we

12:44

can move on to the things

12:46

that you've chosen to put into

12:48

your time capsule, which is sort

12:50

of really the idea of the

12:53

podcast. It's lovely to have you

12:55

do it, Chris. It really is.

12:57

It's very sweet of you. And

12:59

I'm thrilled that you're a pod

13:01

virgin. your pod progeny. I'm absolutely

13:03

honored to be asked and I've

13:05

listened to quite a few of

13:07

them now actually and they're really

13:09

delightful and I love how sort

13:11

of just sounds really a bit

13:13

silly really because that's the whole

13:15

point of a podcast but how

13:18

sort of just relaxed and chatty

13:20

they are and and how everyone

13:22

sort of goes off on tangents

13:24

and and I just sort of

13:26

you sort of get sucked in

13:28

it's really wonderful. Oh thank you.

13:30

Thank you. Well I mean the

13:32

idea really yes is absolutely this

13:34

is a means by which we

13:36

have a conversation. So I approach

13:38

each one quite excited actually because

13:40

I have no idea where it's

13:42

going to go or what you're

13:45

going to talk about. Well it's

13:47

great because nor do I, which

13:49

is somewhat scary. Perfect! Okay, well

13:51

let's find out what the first

13:53

thing is then. What's the first

13:55

thing you would have put in

13:57

a time capsule? So the first

13:59

thing I'm going to put in

14:01

the time capsule is a Pink

14:03

Floyd song and it is Pigs,

14:05

three different ones from the album

14:07

1977 I believe, from the 1977

14:09

album Animals. And the reason I've

14:12

chosen this song, well... You know,

14:14

when I grew up I had

14:16

a sort of very bucolic sort

14:18

of childhood, very little, I don't

14:20

know, a bit, Lorry Lee really.

14:22

You know, my father was in

14:24

the REF and he was a

14:26

flyer in the REF and so

14:28

we had to have periods of

14:30

quite transitional periods when we would

14:32

live abroad and, you know, he

14:34

would be away traveling and all

14:36

that kind of stuff. So I

14:39

spent the very early part of

14:41

my life in living in Canada

14:43

and then the later part of

14:45

my childhood living in Hong Kong.

14:47

But the in-between period, we were

14:49

very much ensconced in one place,

14:51

which was a very beautiful village

14:53

in the West Country, sort of

14:55

border of the Kosovo, really. And

14:57

that's where I went to school,

14:59

and I went to school in

15:01

a sort of wonderful little village

15:03

school. I think it had 92

15:06

people in the whole school. So

15:08

a very small school. And it

15:10

was the type of school where...

15:12

some of the children would go

15:14

missing during harvest time because they

15:16

would have to help getting in

15:18

the harvest. And nobody was fined.

15:20

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And, you know,

15:22

we'd have sort of harvest festivals

15:24

and it was sort of that

15:26

kind of school and we all

15:28

went to school in this little

15:30

mini bus and it was a

15:33

really delightful upbringing, very picolic and

15:35

kind of Lori Lee in that

15:37

sort of respect, you know, sort

15:39

of. Do you think that it's

15:41

influenced... the way you are. I

15:43

mean, because I often think that

15:45

sometimes those early experiences really can

15:47

define you as a person. So,

15:49

I mean, if somebody is open

15:51

to you being, well, however you

15:53

felt on that day, do you

15:55

think that if you've got teachers

15:57

around you like that, that that

16:00

changes you forever, really, that you

16:02

sort of go, well, actually, there's

16:04

nothing wrong in me being who

16:06

I want to be. I think

16:08

so, but I think definitely with

16:10

that sort of early primary school.

16:12

way of things. It was some,

16:14

it was pretty fluid, you know,

16:16

it was really enjoyable, it was,

16:18

it was sort of, it always

16:20

feels very sunny. You know, it's

16:22

a very, I think it's sort

16:24

of a bit of a trope,

16:27

isn't it? But, you know, you

16:29

always feel like your sort of

16:31

early years are quite sunny. Like

16:33

the sun was always shining, or

16:35

when it wasn't shining, it was...

16:37

beautiful snow, you know, it's a

16:39

play in, you know, sort of,

16:41

yeah, that's sort of, you know,

16:43

really lovely sepia type childhood. Yeah,

16:45

so, but I mean, that changed

16:47

a lot because when I got

16:49

sent to boarding school. So, so

16:51

what happened is that I was,

16:54

had this beautiful, bicolic, wonderful childhood.

16:56

And I was very much a

16:58

sort of big fish in a

17:00

very small scholastic pond, you know,

17:02

and Captain the football team and

17:04

you know, albeit very bad football

17:06

team. I think we only won

17:08

one match ever. But I was

17:10

the captain of that team. Fair

17:12

enough. Yeah, yeah. And then because

17:14

my dad was in the forces

17:16

and I was a forces kid,

17:18

and there was always this sort

17:21

of... situation or chance that we

17:23

may be posting abroad. Yeah, again,

17:25

which he was. Then there was

17:27

a sort of, I don't know

17:29

if it still goes on, but

17:31

there was a sort of bursary

17:33

that the forces used to pay

17:35

towards kids going into public school

17:37

so that they wouldn't have to

17:39

chop and change schools as their

17:41

parents moved around. My parents took

17:43

very much took advantage of that.

17:45

So at the age of 11,

17:48

I just wanted... go with all

17:50

my mates up to the local

17:52

comprehensive, which was about four or

17:54

five miles away in the main

17:56

town. It would be a wonderful

17:58

town called Marmsbury. And my parents

18:00

were having none of that. So

18:02

I was sent off to sit

18:04

11 pluses or exams for various

18:06

body scores. And then I got

18:08

into about three or four of

18:10

them. And then I got the

18:12

choice, you know, of which one

18:15

I wanted to go to. So

18:17

I chose a school in Wells

18:19

School of Theatre School. mainly because

18:21

it was sort of, it was

18:23

less a sort of standalone school,

18:25

you know, with its own grounds,

18:27

and it was more integrated into

18:29

the city of Wales, which I

18:31

thought would be a bit more

18:33

freeing. But, you know, having come

18:35

from this, but I was extremely,

18:37

an extremely naive child, you know,

18:40

it had just come from the

18:42

country. And then I got cast

18:44

into the school of like 700

18:46

people and it was a very

18:48

famous music school. And I wasn't

18:50

particularly musical, not musical in any

18:52

way really. But we used to,

18:54

you know, sort of be sat

18:56

through all these horrible music lessons.

18:58

And I remember one of my

19:00

oldest memories is listening to an

19:02

opera, an operatic version of Peer

19:04

Gint, which frankly is most distasteful

19:07

things we put an 11-year-old child

19:09

in front of. And there's actually...

19:11

catalyst for my lifelong distaste of

19:13

anything to do with Ibsen. I

19:15

mean, I can't, I just find

19:17

it so, I apologize to all

19:19

the Ibsen lovers out there, but

19:21

I just, it's something I've never

19:23

been able to get on with,

19:25

it's, but yeah, so we would

19:27

have to sit through all these

19:29

all operatic versions of Peer Ginton

19:31

and what have you in, and

19:34

it was just so dull. What

19:36

it did mean is that my

19:38

school friends who and obviously we

19:40

spent we lived together we lived

19:42

together in dorms and They had

19:44

this very sort of esoteric bearing

19:46

in mind they were 11 years

19:48

old, sort of very esoteric taste

19:50

in music. And so I remember

19:52

sitting when I was about 11

19:54

or 12 listening to Pink Floyd

19:56

and very early Pink Floyd as

19:58

well. Songs like, you know, small

20:01

several species of small fairy animals

20:03

groving together in a cave or

20:05

groving with a pig or something

20:07

like that. From one of their

20:09

sort of more obscure... Oh, hundreds,

20:11

well not hundreds of years, but

20:13

you know, I think the song

20:15

I just mentioned is from an

20:17

album called Uma Guma, which is

20:19

I think 67 or something like

20:21

that. So we're talking 84. Yeah.

20:23

Yeah, 1984. So you would have

20:25

thought it would have been punk.

20:28

Yeah, yeah, but I mean, we

20:30

were listening to a lot of

20:32

yes. You know, I don't know

20:34

why. I don't know, maybe it's

20:36

just the dorm I was in.

20:38

Nothing to do with drugs. Absolutely

20:40

not. No. I don't know. I

20:42

mean, maybe every other dawn was

20:44

listening to Bon Jovi or whatever

20:46

it was at the time, but

20:48

we were listening to a lot

20:50

of pro-g rock, a lot of

20:52

obscure genesis, a lot of yes,

20:55

and obviously a lot of Pink

20:57

Floyd. And because of my time

20:59

at boarding school, and because I've

21:01

come from this kind of free,

21:03

sort of, you know, slightly wild...

21:05

freeing, upbringing where you're sort of,

21:07

you know, you roam around the

21:09

countryside and you just come back

21:11

to tea and all that kind

21:13

of stuff. And then obviously straight

21:15

into this completely different institutionalized world,

21:17

which, you know, frankly, I didn't

21:19

get on with then and I

21:22

haven't got on with since and

21:24

obviously I never got on with

21:26

during school and frankly what happened

21:28

is my whole life. in the

21:30

institution of boarding school just became

21:32

more and more difficult until I

21:34

eventually got expelled. It says that

21:36

thing. when you read up on

21:38

people, because you think you know

21:40

people, but you read up on

21:42

that, it says phrases like in

21:44

your Wikipedia page, he failed his

21:46

A-levels, and then went to Red

21:49

Rooves in Maidenhead, and you go,

21:51

right, well there's a story there.

21:53

And this is it, I suppose,

21:55

isn't it? Well, I mean, you

21:57

know, it's, I mean, I guess

21:59

they were quite accommodating of my

22:01

sort of distaste of institutionalization for

22:03

a while. And there were a

22:05

litany of things that I was

22:07

doing that really, they couldn't really

22:09

countenance, you know, which I won't

22:11

go into all of them. But

22:13

they involved keeping, you know, later

22:16

on in my time at school,

22:18

they involved keeping a motorbike in

22:20

a bush at the top of

22:22

the playing fields. So that I

22:24

could go out of weekends and

22:26

just, you know, tear around on

22:28

my motorbike. I can get places,

22:30

go and see my mates, you

22:32

know. Which really, it was just,

22:34

wasn't the done thing when you

22:36

were supposed to be under the

22:38

care of a public school, you

22:40

know. You know, where's Chris? Always

22:43

out tearing around on a motorbike,

22:45

you know, with a flag and

22:47

a sider. No, but a yes.

22:49

I can imagine. But I mean,

22:51

it's a very difficult thing, isn't

22:53

it? Because you're looking for something

22:55

that suits you. You've gone from

22:57

a situation where you run the

22:59

free in wheat fields and you

23:01

think of something like that. As

23:03

you say, it's always... Not a

23:05

Theresa May kind of way, I

23:07

must say. No, no, but... More

23:10

in a sort of a gladiator

23:12

way. There we go, no, that's

23:14

it. Yeah. Which is, you think

23:16

of something, that's fantastic and suddenly,

23:18

there you are in this situation,

23:20

that for some children, works extremely

23:22

well, some kids like to be

23:24

told what to do, but most

23:26

children don't. They like to choose.

23:28

They like to choose. They like

23:30

to choose. Yeah, and I think

23:32

you know the way we are

23:34

these days and I've got kids

23:37

who now who are you know

23:39

around that same sort of age

23:41

as I was when I went

23:43

to boarding school and and I

23:45

hope that I give them more

23:47

choice, you know, and less institution.

23:49

Because what you're doing, I think,

23:51

in those situations, if you're forcing

23:53

institution on people, is you're giving

23:55

them something to rail against. Yeah.

23:57

And you're giving them a sort

23:59

of common enemy to rail against.

24:01

And so, and this is really

24:04

why we come onto the song,

24:06

because, and it's something that's really

24:08

sort of... It's sort of carried

24:10

me through my life really because

24:12

you can sort of apply it.

24:14

I don't know, I just, it's

24:16

something that seemed to work for

24:18

me at the time. And if

24:20

you read the lyrics, and I've

24:22

got them in front of me

24:24

actually. Yeah, I do. Read some.

24:26

You know, but you know, like,

24:29

it's a three different ones. The

24:31

pigs is a sort of, it's

24:33

an analogy of people in authority.

24:35

And so it's the first pig,

24:37

as I believe I didn't write

24:39

the song, but as I believe

24:41

from listening to Dave Gilmour speak

24:43

about it, Roger Waters, is that

24:45

the first pig is great big

24:47

businessman, you know, it's sort of

24:49

higher echelons of business who pigs

24:51

in the trough and this was

24:53

snuffling away, you know, and eating

24:56

older. or the swill, and there's

24:58

not left for the rest of

25:00

the, and the pigs are, in

25:02

that kind of well-in kind of

25:04

way, the pigs are, you know,

25:06

at the top of the tree,

25:08

and there's nothing left for anyone

25:10

else underneath. Yeah, and then you've

25:12

got the, the, the, verse three,

25:14

I think it is, you know,

25:16

about Mary White House. Hey you,

25:18

you, White House, ha, you're trying

25:20

to keep our feelings off the

25:23

street. You're nearly a real treat

25:25

all tight lips and cold feet

25:27

and do you feel abused? Got

25:29

to stem the evil tide and

25:31

keep it all on the inside.

25:33

So it's just to me I

25:35

was just and and when I

25:37

started listening to that and I'm

25:39

like 11 12 years old and

25:41

I just started Maybe in a

25:43

kind of rebel without a Porsche

25:45

kind of way, you know, where

25:47

you sort of, you know, but,

25:50

you know, lyrics are important to

25:52

kids, I think, and you sort

25:54

of listen to these songs, and

25:56

especially, and it's sort of sung

25:58

to me a bit, and I

26:00

was just like, I don't like

26:02

these people telling me what I

26:04

have to do, telling me the

26:06

way I'm supposed to think, the

26:08

way I'm supposed to feel, the

26:10

way I'm supposed to act, you

26:12

know, and of course, there are

26:14

parameters we have to live within,

26:17

we wouldn't have a society. But

26:19

as long as everybody is living

26:21

within those parameters, you know, and

26:23

not other people living outside the

26:25

parameters, you know, everyone is equal,

26:27

but some people are more equal

26:29

than others, that kind of thing.

26:31

And I've always, it's something that's

26:33

always, I don't know, sung to

26:35

me. And it's something I sort

26:37

of carried through my school time.

26:39

And you know, I was probably

26:41

a bit of an idiot, looking

26:44

back, you know, with the way

26:46

I sort of took it upon

26:48

myself to have this rebellious streak.

26:50

and like I was on some

26:52

some kind of mission you know

26:54

that the only one who'd ever

26:56

done it yeah the only one

26:58

who'd ever done it no I

27:00

was you know I was just

27:02

ridiculous really and but it was

27:04

the exuberance of youth really but

27:06

it seems to me that the

27:08

world we kind of are living

27:11

in now seems to me that

27:13

this song makes more sense now

27:15

than it never did when I

27:17

was like 11 I mean you

27:19

know you've got this huge and

27:21

I don't want to get too

27:23

fiscal but You know, you get

27:25

this huge, it just stands to

27:27

reason, this song stands up to

27:29

the annals of time. Yes. So

27:31

you've got these sort of massive

27:33

big business, the social media and

27:35

the tech pros, I think they

27:38

call them. Yeah, they do. Yeah.

27:40

Who have enormous, who wield enormous

27:42

amounts of power that we're seeing

27:44

now. beyond avarice with the amounts

27:46

of money they have and influence

27:48

they have. See, when you talk

27:50

about something like, you know, living

27:52

within the parameters of a... society,

27:54

those parameters can be very wide.

27:56

It can be a very broad

27:58

church, I think, society. There's no

28:00

reason why lots of different sorts

28:02

of people should fit in, and

28:05

quite often, and it seems to

28:07

me more and more what's happening,

28:09

is that those parameters are being

28:11

squeezed. And unless you're inside that

28:13

actual little pocket of people who

28:15

fundamentally just agree with the people

28:17

who are running things, then you're

28:19

deemed to be living outside of

28:21

society, which is weird. which is

28:23

exactly what brings me on to,

28:25

again, the White House, the Mary

28:27

White House, first. In the parameters

28:29

are being squeezed. And people, and

28:32

the world is not binary. The

28:34

world is not linear. It's, you

28:36

know, it's not... there's no nuance,

28:38

you know, or the world is

28:40

nuanced, and I feel like this

28:42

is becoming, we're getting less and

28:44

less choice, less and less nuance,

28:46

less and less nuance, and less

28:48

and less opinion to be able,

28:50

without it, getting shut down. And

28:52

so, and to me, there seems

28:54

like we've becoming, and I guess

28:56

the whole world is kind of

28:59

cyclical, you know, and history has

29:01

shown to be, you know, that

29:03

it's quite cyclical, and we end

29:05

up going around in circles already,

29:07

sort of concentrically, in strange, in

29:09

strange way, in strange way, in

29:11

strange way, but, we seem to

29:13

be going full circle to this

29:15

sort of new new purity this

29:17

sort of new version of purity

29:19

where I don't know it's sort

29:21

of and we used to laugh

29:23

at this stuff you know I

29:26

think if you look at the

29:28

wonderful John Cleese interview I think

29:30

is on Parkinson or something with

29:32

one of the heads of the

29:34

church I'm digressing here and maybe

29:36

paraphrasing somewhat about the life of

29:38

Brian that film the life of

29:40

Brian and And we watch that

29:42

now from the 70s or 60s

29:44

or whenever it was, I think

29:46

70s I believe. And we laugh

29:48

at it because it seems so

29:51

antiquated. And yet, this sort of

29:53

bizarrely, we just have a new

29:55

version of it now. Yeah, those

29:57

arguments are coming back. Yeah. And

29:59

so to me. this song is

30:01

just it's timeless and it's sort

30:03

of reminds me of many different

30:05

parts of my life and yet

30:07

to have a song that reminds

30:09

me in many different parts of

30:11

my life and yet it's still

30:13

current and I read the words

30:15

now and I'm like this is

30:18

today this is happening today and

30:20

how how music and songs can

30:22

be timeless and I think you

30:24

know if you're choosing something for

30:26

a time capture you have to

30:28

have some music in there some...

30:30

Because the way songs have that

30:32

element of being able to transport

30:34

us back to a certain time

30:36

and place. Yeah, instantly. Instantly. And

30:38

yet also sing to us and

30:40

be so, right now and be

30:42

so current. It's just a bloody

30:45

genius. So... Fantastic. Well, let's put

30:47

the fantastic pin Floyd in there.

30:49

Shall I put all of it

30:51

in? Go on, let's stick it

30:53

all in. Stick it all in.

30:55

It's not like they did any

30:57

more decent albums, you know, like,

30:59

you know, another book in the

31:01

world, a matter of reason, you

31:03

know, all of them. Yeah, fantastic.

31:05

Okay, well I'm delighted to. Okay,

31:07

so that's number one, Chris. So

31:09

what's your second thing? My second

31:11

thing is the play Journey's End

31:13

by RC Sheriff. Have you done

31:16

it? Well, I've, I've, yeah. So

31:18

there's quite a story to it.

31:20

Okay, great. And again, is in

31:22

a way that unbeknownst to you

31:24

and without you doing anything, certain

31:26

things can follow you throughout life.

31:28

Journey's End has followed me throughout

31:30

my life. It's been really, it's

31:32

been really quite odd. And so

31:34

I feel a real affinity with

31:36

it because A, it's a brilliant

31:38

play, obviously. And it's a play,

31:40

again, against the authority of war.

31:42

And, you know, the futility of

31:44

war. but it does that in

31:46

such a brilliant way because it's

31:48

a satire in some ways because

31:50

I think Lawrence Olivier called it

31:52

a play about food because it's

31:54

ostensibly a bunch of guys in

31:56

the... trenches of the First World

31:58

War and they're dug into these

32:00

trenches and their obsession is about

32:02

what's for dinner and it's all

32:04

to do the hierarchy of the

32:06

officers and the men and throughout

32:09

this sort of play of as

32:11

Olivier called a play about food

32:13

where they're basically talking about what's

32:15

for dinner and what they're going

32:17

to have for dinner and what

32:19

did we have yesterday and what's

32:21

left and you sort of you

32:23

sort of unpacked this whole... realization

32:25

that these are just kids. These

32:27

are just kids. And the officers

32:29

are usually kids sent from public

32:31

school and the men, usually kids

32:33

sent from factories and dockyards and

32:35

villages, like the village I grew

32:37

up in, and to fight this,

32:39

to fight over 20 meters of

32:41

land, where they will probably lose

32:43

their lives, you know. But it's

32:45

one of those places, sort of

32:47

generally on... your syllabus I think

32:49

or was when I was you

32:51

know a hundred years ago when

32:53

I was doing my Jesus Eve

32:55

but on doing them yes oh

32:57

not doing no actually my Jesus

32:59

Eve were all right I found

33:01

them quite easy so because I

33:04

found that Jesus Eve I thought

33:06

I found that if you just

33:08

crammed for three weeks before your

33:10

exams. You can actually get away

33:12

with it. Is there one of

33:14

the two of us turned out

33:16

to be actors? I know, I

33:18

know, I know, I know. I

33:20

found, I found, because I'm all

33:22

about the least amount of work

33:24

for the most amount, the most

33:26

amount of bang for my buck,

33:28

you know. But no, so Jesus

33:30

is I found relatively easy. It's

33:32

quite serendipitous in fortuitous, really, because...

33:34

I literally, I mean I remember

33:36

this on my physics paper and

33:38

we are digressing somewhat, but or

33:40

not, but I opened my physics

33:42

paper in my GCCs and literally

33:44

everything I'd crammed over the last

33:46

two weeks was in that paper

33:48

and I just, I was in

33:50

one of those. singular desks you

33:52

have in exams and I just

33:54

I just had my pencil in

33:57

my hand and I just looked

33:59

up to the heavens I went

34:01

thank you. Yes I'm through. I

34:03

mean I've done it. It's there

34:05

pressure law it's there it's got

34:07

I've got it I've got this.

34:09

Just as I was about to

34:11

walk into my biology exam or

34:13

something or physics exam the teacher

34:15

said Don't forget that actually you

34:17

can revise right up until the

34:19

moment you go in and you

34:21

never know what's going to happen.

34:23

And as I went in I

34:25

closed the book which had a

34:27

diagram of a thermost flask and

34:29

I looked at it and I

34:31

shut the book sat down and

34:33

opened the page and it said

34:35

draw a thermost flask and it's

34:37

easiest thing in the world. What

34:39

subject was that? It must have

34:41

been physics. thermonuclear. Yeah, it was

34:43

extraordinary. So I just drew it

34:45

all out, labelled it. I thought,

34:47

well, it's easy. I remember it

34:49

from five minutes ago. Nothing. Honestly,

34:52

I was the most, of one

34:54

of the most fortuitous moments of

34:56

my life. I mean, I literally

34:58

opened the paper and it's like,

35:00

write down pressure law. I've got

35:02

this. And I was predicted to

35:04

you, strangely, by my science teacher

35:06

who, frankly, he and I did

35:08

not see Itoane. And that's, you

35:10

know. and being slightly understating the

35:12

whole situation. But I got an

35:14

A. Yeah, I got an A

35:16

because I was just like, this

35:18

is literally everything I've done for

35:20

the last two weeks. A-levels, you

35:22

don't get away with that. A-levels,

35:24

you can't just cram for three

35:26

weeks. So that is where I

35:28

came mightily unstark. However, during my

35:30

GCCs, we studied this play, we

35:32

talked about it a lot, Journey's

35:34

End, and I love to play.

35:36

And it was around that time,

35:38

I was becoming... Because obviously, as

35:40

I mentioned before, I went to

35:42

quite a famous choral music school,

35:44

of which I was none of

35:47

those things. I'm not a singer,

35:49

and I don't really play an

35:51

instrument. I bang a few chords

35:53

on a guitar, but that's about

35:55

it. But my school did have

35:57

this wondrous drama department, which was

35:59

actually run by my then English.

36:01

teacher, a wonderful man called Paul

36:03

McDermott, and he used to regale

36:05

us during English with these wonderful

36:07

stories about when he was an

36:09

NGO in Africa, or working for

36:11

an NGO in Africa, and you

36:13

know about being chased by lions,

36:15

and we were just sat there

36:17

and thrall, and he would go

36:19

off on so many tangents that

36:21

we did the lesson would end,

36:23

and we'd done no work, so

36:25

we'd like tell us more, tell

36:27

us more. But he was a

36:29

wonderful man, and he was also

36:31

my drama teacher, and we used

36:33

to do these wondrous plays, at

36:35

the school, we had two theatres,

36:37

which is kind of, you know,

36:40

our facilities were amazing. Yeah. And

36:42

we used to put on five

36:44

or six plays a year, and

36:46

we used to do incredible plays,

36:48

such as, we used to obscure

36:50

plays, like Vaclav Havel and the

36:52

Capec Brothers, obscure Czech playwrights and

36:54

Woody Allen, and it was interesting

36:56

to do when you were 14,

36:58

15, 16 years old. And so

37:00

I really just started to fall

37:02

in love with this whole... idea

37:04

of performing and it was a

37:06

great way to meet girls and

37:08

you know and get out of

37:10

lessons and also I just started

37:12

to love it and then they

37:14

used to have this competition called

37:16

the Bigney Cup so named after

37:18

one of the old stillworts at

37:20

the school and it was a

37:22

sort of inter-house drama cup. and

37:24

it came around to my year

37:26

to do this cup. And I

37:28

took it upon myself to direct

37:30

the play that our house would

37:32

be doing and also be in

37:35

it. And so I chose Journey's

37:37

End because I felt it was

37:39

such a brilliant play. It's very

37:41

easy to stage because it's in

37:43

a trench. It doesn't go from

37:45

anywhere in a trench. And so

37:47

that's what we did. And I

37:49

found it really cathartic and had

37:51

a wondrous time and it's a

37:53

beautiful play. We didn't win and

37:55

that's fine, but that was my

37:57

experience of Jenny's end at school.

37:59

And then after I left school

38:01

and then obviously Golly Spel failed

38:03

my levels. three years. I had

38:05

a choice and the choice was

38:07

go back to school, retake your

38:09

eight levels and you know try

38:11

and get into some university or

38:13

what have you. Or let's give

38:15

it a go trying to be

38:17

an actor. I've no idea how.

38:19

I couldn't get into any of

38:21

the raradas or your lambadas or

38:23

central or what have you. They

38:25

weren't having me. I couldn't even

38:28

get into the University of Middlesex.

38:30

Which I'm sure is a brilliant,

38:32

by the way. I'm sure it's

38:34

absolutely amazing. But I couldn't, you

38:36

know, I couldn't get into anywhere

38:38

to study drama. So I had

38:40

no idea about how to become

38:42

an actor. I had no friends

38:44

or family in the business. And

38:46

so I went to this sort

38:48

of stage school called Red Roofs

38:50

in Maidenhead. And whilst I was

38:52

there, I used to hang out

38:54

with a few buddies there and

38:56

here were also at the school.

38:58

And they were less about the

39:00

drama side of things and more

39:02

about being in a band. And

39:04

so we used to just, we

39:06

used to hang out around, you

39:08

know, and we had no money

39:10

or anything like that when it

39:12

was a dissolute existence, as I'm

39:14

sure you know, as being a

39:16

young actor is. You know, there's

39:18

no money, there's lots of, you

39:20

know, rollies and whatever. alcohol you

39:23

can get your hands on and

39:25

horrible digs to live in. I

39:27

mean, some of the places I

39:29

lived in were just, I mean,

39:31

should have been condemned. But we

39:33

always, one of the guys used

39:35

to still live with his mum,

39:37

so we used to pile around

39:39

his house and set, and he

39:41

lived up in the attic of

39:43

his mum's house. And we just

39:45

basically used that as a band

39:47

room, a studio, and all sorts

39:49

of things went on in there.

39:51

And it was during that time

39:53

that I got introduced to that

39:55

classic film with Nail and I,

39:57

which probably would in another instance...

39:59

would also be in my time

40:01

capsule because I think as an

40:03

actor it's one of those films

40:05

that all actors can quote verbatim

40:07

you know it's it's a sort

40:09

of rights of passage isn't it

40:11

because as of the young actor

40:13

you know especially if you're living

40:15

in horrific digs and you've got

40:18

no money and no no chance

40:20

of getting any work and it's

40:22

definitely in the 90s anyway and

40:24

probably earlier you know you're thumbing

40:26

through the weekly stage magazine looking

40:28

for any kind of job or

40:30

show or audition you can get

40:32

your hands on. And I watched

40:34

this film and of course it's

40:36

hilarious film but also as a

40:38

young actor I was just like

40:40

well this is this is exactly

40:42

how my life is at the

40:44

moment. I mean literally and and

40:46

and of course so the film

40:48

is brilliant and I love the

40:50

film and that is by the

40:52

by. But the whole point of

40:54

me bringing it up now. is

40:56

that during the film, for anyone

40:58

who hasn't seen it, obviously, you

41:00

have two actors, one of them

41:02

goes off into the ether, anticipators

41:04

off into the ether of alcoholism

41:06

and non-work, and, you know, doesn't

41:08

make it. The other one, Paul

41:11

McGann's character, I, he gets an

41:13

audition and a job at the

41:15

end, and you briefly see him

41:17

in the movie reading the play.

41:19

And the play he's reading. is

41:21

Journey's End. And I was like,

41:23

Journey's End. I know that. I

41:25

know that so well. And so

41:27

I felt even more of an

41:29

affinity for that film because of

41:31

that. And then, you know, I've

41:33

watched that film many times and,

41:35

you know, it's become, you know,

41:37

and it's part of an actor's

41:39

quiver really, isn't it? You sort

41:41

of, you sort of, you sort

41:43

of keep it in your back

41:45

pocket. But, then I carried on,

41:47

you know, you know, and I

41:49

was still doing those things that

41:51

young actor, that young actor does

41:53

where you're sort of trying to

41:55

get work, And I had sort

41:57

of, I had this motto in

41:59

my life where I was just

42:01

like, But what I need to

42:03

do is I just need to

42:06

do one thing every day, one

42:08

thing every day, to try and

42:10

get somewhere in my job. Otherwise,

42:12

you know, I'm just hanging around

42:14

in this sort of pit of

42:16

despair of dead-end jobs and working

42:18

shifts in factories and then getting

42:20

an audition and missing your shift

42:22

and losing your job and then

42:24

going back to the agency and

42:26

saying, can I have another job?

42:28

And then you end up working,

42:30

I do so many different jobs.

42:32

I mean, just so many. But

42:34

I had this thing, I have

42:36

to do one thing every day.

42:38

And I had different ways of

42:40

fulfilling that one thing every day.

42:42

So I had this thing where

42:44

I used to fax, you know,

42:46

back when everyone used to use

42:48

faxes. I used to go, and

42:50

I didn't have a fax, you

42:52

know, I lived in a dump,

42:54

one up, one down, on housing

42:56

benefit, and on the doll, in,

42:59

in, in, with a broken toilet,

43:01

you know. But the local library

43:03

always had a fax. So you

43:05

went down to the local library

43:07

and you pay your 50P and

43:09

you could use the fax machine.

43:11

And I used to fax the

43:13

National Theatre, my CV, and I

43:15

used to fax them every single

43:17

day. I used to phone the

43:19

casting department at the national every

43:21

day. And I used to go,

43:23

can I have a job I've

43:25

sent you my CV? And you

43:27

sent your CV. I went, yeah,

43:29

faxed it. Okay. All right, that's

43:31

odd. Okay, thank you for your

43:33

facts and we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:35

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:37

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:39

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:41

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:43

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:45

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:47

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:49

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:51

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:54

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,

43:56

we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll

43:58

Yeah, I'll do anything. In case

44:00

you lose it. Okay, she'll lose

44:02

it. She's like, no, we have

44:04

the CV. No, I'll fax it.

44:06

I'll speak to you next week.

44:08

But, and I went to this

44:10

thing where I'll fax them either

44:12

daily or weekly. for ages, to

44:14

the point where they're like, no

44:16

more CVs! We have your CVs!

44:18

I was like, give me a

44:20

job then, and I'll stop sending

44:22

you faxes. And of course they

44:24

never did. I did end up

44:26

working for the national, but it

44:28

wasn't anything to do with faxes.

44:30

I always think it's slightly amazing

44:32

that they don't. You know, you

44:34

think somebody's that determined, somebody's that

44:36

keen to do it. We should

44:38

find something. for them. I feel

44:40

that's almost their job. You know,

44:42

I did exactly the same thing

44:44

with the casting director, but I

44:47

had children right at the beginning

44:49

of my career. I already had

44:51

children. So I would send the

44:53

photographs of my children with no

44:55

shoes on and just say, one

44:57

day, one day, hopefully, you never

44:59

know, a job would help. And

45:01

they joined in with the joke.

45:03

Really used to write back saying,

45:05

are they eating? I don't know,

45:07

not much. And we kept this

45:09

going and we formed quite a

45:11

relationship, but she never gave me

45:13

a job either and I thought,

45:15

surely I'm demonstrating that I'm interesting

45:17

to work with, if not necessarily

45:19

good. Yeah, interesting and tenacious and

45:21

it's something you really want to

45:23

do and you're going to put

45:25

you 100% into it. Why wouldn't

45:27

you at least give someone a

45:29

chance? I don't understand. I mean,

45:31

unless they must have maybe a

45:33

thousand tenacious people. I was sending

45:35

pictures of their children with those

45:37

shoes on and faxes of a

45:39

completely concocted CV. Yeah. They must

45:42

get them all the time. But,

45:44

so I was a very sort

45:46

of tenacious kind of person and

45:48

I would try and bang on

45:50

doors and... And it very rarely

45:52

came to anything, but then... And

45:54

this went on for years and

45:56

I used to get the old

45:58

job and I worked in rep

46:00

for a while as one of

46:02

the last sort of actors really

46:04

to sort of work in rep.

46:06

It's a weekly rep. And I

46:08

got that by phoning a guy

46:10

whose number I got from a

46:12

bloke in a pub. was working

46:14

and he did give me a

46:16

chance you know he said all

46:18

right come on then come on

46:20

and there was a guy called

46:22

Barry Stacey a wonderful guy yeah

46:24

an agent on the Jerry Cross

46:26

Road yes I knew Barry Stacey

46:28

yes did you yeah yeah great

46:30

what a brilliant man fantastic and

46:32

he gave me my first chance

46:34

and I and I did a

46:37

little bit of rep and I

46:39

did that for a while actually

46:41

and that was really good training

46:43

because you were doing rep theater

46:45

doing plays very quickly in front

46:47

of big audiences and then learning

46:49

a new play during the day.

46:51

Yeah. And then doing the new

46:53

play the next week. There's a

46:55

fantastic... And in a way you're

46:57

sort of doing that with things

46:59

like Beyond Paradise because you're working

47:01

on a scene, you've got another

47:03

one in the afternoon, you've got

47:05

another one after that, and then

47:07

tomorrow morning you'll go a whole

47:09

new lot, and it's all the

47:11

time, that that process that you

47:13

learn through rap, you're using those

47:15

skills, aren't you? Yeah, and you're,

47:17

and you're sort of... Hippocampus or

47:19

whatever it is, you know, and

47:21

sort of exercising it, and where

47:23

it really becomes, I mean, especially

47:25

with these sort of detective shows,

47:27

when you have the big summing

47:30

up at the end of the

47:32

show, which I have to say,

47:34

frankly, in Bill Paradise is a

47:36

lot easier because we film it

47:38

more inside the mind of Humphrey,

47:40

my character Humphrey. But in the

47:42

classic Marple, Agatha Christie. death in

47:44

paradise kind of way where everyone

47:46

sits around in a semicircle. You

47:48

do that whole thing in a

47:50

day. Yeah. So you've got nine,

47:52

ten pages of dialogue that you're

47:54

desperately trying to learn. Meanwhile learning

47:56

the dialogue you've got to do

47:58

for that day anyway. Yeah. And

48:00

so having that sort of, I

48:02

mean, it's brilliant training. But so

48:04

rep was fantastic for that. But

48:06

then I got to the real,

48:08

I came to realization fairly quickly.

48:10

That that rep wasn't going to

48:12

further my career because you know

48:14

as wonderful as it was the

48:16

audience in them. a Thursday afternoon

48:18

man named Chesfield was not going

48:20

to contain a cast and director

48:22

from the National Theatre. So very

48:25

unlikely. So people are not going

48:27

to stand up and suddenly shout,

48:29

that's our Hitler. That's our guy.

48:31

Give me the tall guy with

48:33

a propensity to learn worse. It's

48:35

funny you should say that because

48:37

I would have thought thinking about

48:39

it that when I was first

48:41

starting, everybody was told there was

48:43

an audition for The Tall Guy,

48:45

the film The Tall Guy, you

48:47

know, Jeff Goldblum played the top.

48:49

Which is basically a story about

48:51

something you'll know, Richard Curtis. It

48:53

was supposed to be Richard Curtis,

48:55

but they wanted somebody more famous,

48:57

I think. And they auditioned lots

48:59

of people, and I would have

49:01

thought they've been around at that

49:03

time and been the right age.

49:05

That's where you might have got

49:07

your break, because you would have

49:09

suited that role extremely well, I

49:11

think. I've always, I don't know

49:13

about you Mike, but I've always

49:15

been a terrible auditioner. So I

49:18

probably would have screwed that up.

49:20

I mean there's a litany of

49:22

jobs where I've had opportunities to

49:24

do it. And I've just, I've

49:26

gone in and I'm frozen and

49:28

so I don't know, I probably

49:30

would have screwed that up. Maybe

49:32

not. Yeah, but so, you know,

49:34

I came to a realization that

49:36

Rep wasn't going to really take

49:38

me anywhere. And I had a

49:40

wonderful time with wonderful people there

49:42

and I did that for nearly

49:44

two years, but and then I

49:46

came out to London and I

49:48

was like, right. Well, it was

49:50

back to looking in the back

49:52

of the stage magazine again. And

49:54

one day, I opened up the

49:56

back of the stage magazine as

49:58

you do when it came out

50:00

on a Thursday, because you had

50:02

to move quickly, otherwise all the

50:04

auditions would have gone. I was

50:06

looking for sort of, you know,

50:08

anything on the fringe or, you

50:10

know, of London or, especially something

50:13

like that. and travel coding. fantastic.

50:15

Or profit share, you know, which

50:17

is a word that I've never

50:19

known of anyone being a profit

50:21

share show who's having any share

50:23

of any profit. No, profit share

50:25

shows are normally 30 people in

50:27

the cast. Yeah, exactly. You're playing

50:29

a 300-seater. You know, six people

50:31

in the audience, exactly. Yeah, so,

50:33

but I looked at the back

50:35

of the stage magazine and I

50:37

saw an audition for Journey's End.

50:39

And I was like, Journey's End,

50:41

I can get this. So I

50:43

went to the audition, I got

50:45

an audition, and it was to

50:47

play the young character rally, which

50:49

is the character I played at

50:51

school. And I went along to

50:53

the audition, and I got the

50:55

audition, and the show, and meanwhile

50:57

I was to sort of earn

50:59

money, I was working as a

51:01

sort of labourer on a building

51:03

site during the day. And I

51:05

didn't finish that until five, and

51:08

I was working in Ascot, and

51:10

the show was on, the show

51:12

was on in a, it was

51:14

underneath a pub in Chelsea, or

51:16

Barrens Court, actually, called The Curtains

51:18

Up, and it was a tiny

51:20

little theatre, wonderful little theatre, but

51:22

about 25, 30-seater, underneath a pub,

51:24

where if Chelsea were playing upstairs...

51:26

and they scored and everyone would

51:28

stamp on the floor it completely

51:30

destroyed any kind of sense of

51:32

first world war ambience you were

51:34

trying to sort of convey the

51:36

bombs are dropping exactly yeah the

51:38

the very lights you know yeah

51:40

so I got that and it

51:42

was a lovely play and we

51:44

did it and I never would

51:46

have really chosen this to go

51:48

in my time capsule until something

51:50

happened one night And I was

51:52

always late for the half, you

51:54

know, for your listeners the half

51:56

is obviously 35 minutes before the

51:58

show starts. All actors have to

52:01

be in the building by the

52:03

half. And I was always late

52:05

for the half because... because I'd

52:07

finished work on a building site

52:09

at 5 p.m. that I had

52:11

to climb into my canary yellow

52:13

Austin Metro, 1,000 H-S-E, I think

52:15

it was, and which had never

52:17

had any petrol in it. It

52:19

was constantly running that petrol. And

52:21

I had to jump in there,

52:23

take off my work boots and

52:25

my work clothes, drive up to

52:27

London, find my way through traffic

52:29

in London to get to Baroness

52:31

Court. It was one of the

52:33

sort of classic situations where you're

52:35

sort of careering around a corner

52:37

to try and get to the

52:39

theatre, run in, because I was

52:41

absolutely parched. I absolutely had to

52:43

have a half of lager before

52:45

I went on stage, just to

52:47

calm the nerves. You understand, Mike.

52:49

And so I think I wasn't

52:51

particularly popular with the producers of

52:53

the show because of this, because

52:56

I walk in, and obviously you

52:58

know with shows, with those sort

53:00

of fringe shows, you have 20

53:02

actors in a room. or I

53:04

think it was 12 in that

53:06

cast, you know, and everyone's, they

53:08

prepare for the show in a

53:10

different way. And of course, you

53:12

had some people sitting in the

53:14

corner, you know, like this, you

53:16

know, getting into character. And I'd

53:18

storm in, you know, with a

53:20

half a pint of lager and,

53:22

you know, late and sort of

53:24

go, right, everyone's sorry about that.

53:26

Oh, God, I never guessed the

53:28

traffic was awful. Oh, I was,

53:30

definitely not with the producers. But

53:32

one night. We did a show

53:34

and a gentleman called, an American

53:36

gentleman called Dan Crawford, who used

53:38

to run the King's Head in

53:40

Eslington, which is a very famous,

53:42

sort of off-west-end theatre, and he

53:44

came to see the show, and

53:46

he said, I love this show,

53:49

he said, I want to take

53:51

the show and put it on

53:53

in the King's Head. He said,

53:55

but I'm going to replace all

53:57

the leads, because I need some

53:59

names in the leads. He said,

54:01

but keep all the rest of

54:03

the rest of the cast, and

54:05

keep the young guy playing rally.

54:07

he said because he doesn't need

54:09

to be a name and he's

54:11

great. Thank you Dan Crawford because

54:13

I mean sadly he's no longer

54:15

with us but And the producers

54:17

went, no, no, no, no, you

54:19

can't take him. He knows awful,

54:21

he turns up late, he drinks

54:23

before the show, I mean, come

54:25

on half a pint, but he

54:27

drinks before the show, and you

54:29

know, he's, he's, he's, he can't

54:31

have him, he's terrible. I mean,

54:33

he's good, but he's not, you

54:35

know, he's, he's not your team

54:37

player. He's like, as stand-up, which

54:39

is sort of the, the older

54:41

lead, the older lead. still young,

54:44

but older lead in Journey's End.

54:46

And the show became this big

54:48

hit off West End hit, brilliant

54:50

reviews. And of course, Carson Directors

54:52

and agents do go to the

54:54

King's Head. And so Journey's End

54:56

almost became like this sort of

54:58

thing that sort of carried me

55:00

all the way through from my

55:02

very early beginnings when I first

55:04

fell in love with drama at

55:06

school. and also became something that

55:08

sort of shielded me and cosseded

55:10

me as I sort of fell

55:12

out of love with, or was

55:14

never in love with it, but

55:16

fell out of favour and everything

55:18

started to fall apart at school.

55:20

I had this, drama was something

55:22

that I sort of shielded me

55:24

and sort of, I was sort

55:26

of my vision really that I

55:28

could do in the future if

55:30

I, you know, sod school, don't

55:32

need school, I've got drama. And

55:34

then obviously through with Northern Ireland

55:36

and then for it to become

55:39

this whole catalyst of my, after

55:41

having done it for six years

55:43

with nothing, literally getting nowhere, you

55:45

know, from the ages of 19

55:47

to 25, I was literally getting

55:49

nowhere. And then for it to

55:51

become this driving force behind everything

55:53

that's happened to me since. And

55:55

I mean that because I think

55:57

when breaks happen, for me anyway,

55:59

it was a series of... Very

56:01

small break, or not very small,

56:03

but significant but small breaks, that

56:05

happened very quickly in a very

56:07

small period of time. And that

56:09

was the beginning of it. I

56:11

think they do tend to do

56:13

that. They do tend to escalate.

56:15

It's a steamboat effect, isn't it?

56:17

Doors open suddenly all over the

56:19

place and you can't believe it's

56:21

happened. It's a fantastic thing. I

56:23

mean, you would have demonstrated your

56:25

love for the thing by hanging

56:27

on in there, really. And also,

56:29

I suppose, God, it's clipped to

56:32

say that journeys end was your

56:34

journey's beginning. I'm not going to

56:36

say, I'm not going to say

56:38

it. That's terrible. But I think,

56:40

for example, you turning up there

56:42

in muddy boots with concrete under

56:44

your nails and glugging back half

56:46

a lager and then charging on

56:48

stage, it's the perfect preparation for

56:50

performing in Journey's End as a

56:52

young man, because in fact, it's

56:54

a reality to it, and there's

56:56

exhaustion of the whole thing. And

56:58

the fact you say that they

57:00

sit there, all they do is

57:02

talk about food. That's what happens

57:04

when people just come to the

57:06

end of things, when they are...

57:08

They just can't take anymore. All

57:10

they think about is simple things.

57:12

It's a coping mechanism, isn't it,

57:14

with the horror of what's going

57:16

on outside? It's a strange signal.

57:18

They have to deal with. I'm

57:20

going to take you in a

57:22

strange direction, which is I'm going

57:24

to talk about a few less

57:27

men. Okay. Because there's a scene

57:29

in that where you have to

57:31

carry the coffin of your friend

57:33

through the desert for ages. And

57:35

all it is basically Kevin Bishop

57:37

saying, I can't do this anymore.

57:39

I'm going to drop it. I'm

57:41

going to drop it. I'm going

57:43

to drop it. and you just

57:45

see shot after shot after shot

57:47

of him saying I can't walk

57:49

anymore I can't do it anymore

57:51

and I think that actually that's

57:53

very for the directors of that

57:55

to recognize and actually that is

57:57

it it's a very simple thing

57:59

in those situations when life is

58:01

desperate you go right back to

58:03

the simple things like these shoes

58:05

don't fit exactly it's it's it's

58:07

a sort of a version to

58:09

coping or I don't know what

58:11

it is it's It's a sort

58:13

of bonding over simple things, I

58:15

suppose. Or just stripping out. I

58:17

guess when, I guess we all

58:20

have. a membrane or a filter

58:22

of, I would assume, and I

58:24

would presume, of how much trauma

58:26

and horror we can accept until

58:28

suddenly we're full and we can't

58:30

take any more. And there's a

58:32

serenity, isn't there, to that sort

58:34

of basic conversations. It's kind of

58:36

beautiful as well. Yeah. It is.

58:38

Yeah. And that's why it's on

58:40

the syllabus as well, because... I

58:42

think that young people read it

58:44

and if they read it properly

58:46

they see themselves in it. Yeah.

58:48

Particularly in an institution where they're

58:50

not happy. So yeah. Oh fantastic.

58:52

That's what a brilliant story and

58:54

what a fantastic journey that is

58:56

and I'm delighted it happened for

58:58

you. Thank you very much and

59:00

it's definitely going in my time

59:02

capture. Absolutely. That's it. That's number

59:04

two. Number two. Yeah. So let's

59:06

move on to the third thing

59:08

Chris. So the third thing is

59:10

a place called Kynan's Cove. It's

59:12

a national trust place in Cornwall,

59:15

where the sea meets on both

59:17

sides. Now, during this whole time,

59:19

I was at college and obviously

59:21

living again a bit like with

59:23

now. I was living in this

59:25

sort of dissolute establishments, horrific establishments,

59:27

with people you wouldn't really choose

59:29

to spend time with often as

59:31

well. But my friend, who I

59:33

spoke about earlier, his mom... who

59:35

lived in his mom's attic, they

59:37

had a little cottage down in

59:39

Cornwall in a wonderful village called

59:41

Cadworth. And every now and again

59:43

she would give us the key

59:45

to this cottage, it's very worth

59:47

it all night. And she would

59:49

say, take yourselves off for a

59:51

weekend and we used to drive

59:53

down there and we used to

59:55

break down on the way and

59:57

all that kind of stuff and

59:59

we used to break down on

1:00:01

the way and all that kind

1:00:03

of stuff and we used to

1:00:05

go down there. and we used

1:00:07

to hang out in the pub,

1:00:10

you know, drinking rum with the

1:00:12

locals and the fishermen and... were

1:00:14

doing that we used to explore

1:00:16

the area and there's one the

1:00:18

first time we were down there

1:00:20

we went down there quite a

1:00:22

few times the first time we

1:00:24

went down there we went to

1:00:26

this place called Kynance Cove which

1:00:28

is down on the lizard which

1:00:30

is a promontory sort of peninsula

1:00:32

basically the bit that sticks out

1:00:34

the bottom and on the sort

1:00:36

of Atlantic side of that so

1:00:38

on the sort of more savage

1:00:40

and you know wilder side of

1:00:42

that is this incredible place and

1:00:44

it takes, you can't get there

1:00:46

by car, which already makes it

1:00:48

amazing. You can only get there

1:00:50

by seam by foot and you

1:00:52

have to watch the tides because

1:00:54

the whole area is basically stacks,

1:00:56

rock stacks that have been eroded

1:00:58

over millennia to be this wonderful

1:01:00

freestanding. arches and stacks and little

1:01:03

coves and little caves have been

1:01:05

worn away. But the whole thing

1:01:07

is covered by the sea at

1:01:09

high tide. So there's not a

1:01:11

huge amount as it is. It's

1:01:13

very beautiful. There's not a huge

1:01:15

amount to see when it's at

1:01:17

high tide and you certainly can't

1:01:19

get to it. You can't get

1:01:21

onto the good stuff. But as

1:01:23

the tide ebbs away... this wonderfully,

1:01:25

beautifully white sandy beach is revealed.

1:01:27

And because the sea peels away,

1:01:29

and because you've got this big

1:01:31

stack in the middle, and I

1:01:33

think there's a promontory in an

1:01:35

arch as well, the sea, it

1:01:37

almost feels like the sea is

1:01:39

peeling away on two sides. And

1:01:41

so, I mean, obviously it's not,

1:01:43

but it's almost like a mini

1:01:45

island. And so the sea, you

1:01:47

can almost see it, especially... on

1:01:49

a spring tide, which is, you

1:01:51

know, a sort of quite a

1:01:53

vermin tide. You know, this tide,

1:01:55

you can almost see parting and

1:01:58

then revealing this gorgeous white sandy

1:02:00

beach that really shouldn't belong. on

1:02:02

an island in the North Atlantic.

1:02:04

And it's stunning. It's beyond stunning.

1:02:06

And you have to be careful,

1:02:08

obviously, because that tide is going

1:02:10

to come in six hours time,

1:02:12

that tide's coming back in. So

1:02:14

there's a sort of element of

1:02:16

peril to it as well. And

1:02:18

you have this sort of peril

1:02:20

and this savagery. And of course,

1:02:22

I'd been to the seaside when

1:02:24

I was growing up. I've been

1:02:26

to some nice beaches and I've

1:02:28

lived in Hong Kong a bit

1:02:30

and there's been some nice beaches

1:02:32

there on the islands there and

1:02:34

I've been on holiday a couple

1:02:36

times. But I hadn't really, my

1:02:38

only trips to Cornwall and Devon

1:02:40

up until that point were like

1:02:42

in a tent and they were

1:02:44

invariably wet and windy and pretty

1:02:46

miserable actually. And so my whole

1:02:48

childhood experience of holidaying in England.

1:02:51

was either, invariably, cold sea, you

1:02:53

know, ice cream, fish and chips

1:02:55

and a lot of rain. And

1:02:57

boredom. And boredom and the occasional

1:02:59

sunburn. So, because you know, you're

1:03:01

in England, so you don't put

1:03:03

on sun cream in the 80s.

1:03:05

No. You're in England. Sun's out,

1:03:07

that's fine, you're not going to

1:03:09

burn. You get absolutely burned. So,

1:03:11

and then to go down to

1:03:13

Cornwall, you know, when I was

1:03:15

like 1819, and to experience this

1:03:17

joyous place to just, and the

1:03:19

sea is so as you're and

1:03:21

so blue it's just it just

1:03:23

I felt this sort of serenity

1:03:25

in this piece will come over

1:03:27

me and then suddenly I saw

1:03:29

I saw this guy and I'm

1:03:31

gonna I'm gonna put two things

1:03:33

into the capture at the same

1:03:35

time if that's okay yeah because

1:03:37

it slings shots into my fourth

1:03:39

thing and that is that whilst

1:03:41

I was there I saw this

1:03:43

guy surfing on this wave And

1:03:46

I've always been quite an active

1:03:48

person. I've always been... But I

1:03:50

like activity that involves something. I

1:03:52

mean, I'm actually training at the

1:03:54

moment for a... for a triathlon

1:03:56

which is ridiculous because I don't

1:03:58

know why but I started running

1:04:00

because I got back after Christmas

1:04:02

and you know it's January and

1:04:04

you think well I better you

1:04:06

know run off a few mince

1:04:08

pies and however many glasses of

1:04:10

wine and what have you. And

1:04:12

usually I'll go to the gym

1:04:14

while I don't like going to

1:04:16

the gym, because it's the same

1:04:18

sort of thing. It's like, and

1:04:20

it all feels a bit try-hard

1:04:22

to me. But I love sport.

1:04:24

I love sailing. I love interactive

1:04:26

sport. You know, anything the way

1:04:28

I can win or lose or what

1:04:31

have you. Captured to the football team?

1:04:33

Yeah, exactly. So, but I've never liked

1:04:35

running. I mean, the only thing I've

1:04:37

enjoyed running is running to the pub,

1:04:39

you know, but I thought I'll start,

1:04:42

you know, do a bit of running

1:04:44

and then I thought, I've got to

1:04:46

do something with this running. So I

1:04:49

signed up for a triathlon, which is

1:04:51

ridiculous. Because I can't just run, because

1:04:53

I can't just run, because running to

1:04:55

me is just, you're not really doing

1:04:58

anything, unless you're in a race, obviously,

1:05:00

you're a brilliant... But I saw this

1:05:02

guy surfing and I thought, this is

1:05:04

something that looks amazing. And so I thought,

1:05:06

I'm going to try that. And I didn't

1:05:09

have many opportunities really to go down

1:05:11

to Cornwall. The opportunities I had to

1:05:13

go down to Cornwall was when, you

1:05:16

know, because of lack of resources and

1:05:18

finances, was when my friend's mum gave

1:05:20

us the key to this cottage. So

1:05:22

a couple of times we went down

1:05:25

there. We started going up to a

1:05:27

new key and renting surf boards and

1:05:29

I just got bitten by it. and

1:05:32

just the whole being in the sea

1:05:34

and it just felt so peaceful to

1:05:36

me and dangerous and the sense of

1:05:38

peril and excitement and the water

1:05:41

and it just made me feel

1:05:43

so good. And so I got

1:05:45

really into surfing and I've always

1:05:47

been a pretty average surfer I

1:05:50

have to say despite the facts

1:05:52

I've been surfing since I was

1:05:54

about 24. But the fourth thing

1:05:56

that's going to go into my

1:05:58

time capsule is... A 6 foot

1:06:01

10 thruster. Which is a term

1:06:03

for a surfboard. Yeah, I knew

1:06:05

that. I knew that. Yeah, yeah.

1:06:07

I just to people who they're

1:06:09

wondering what a thruster was. But

1:06:11

yeah, so my 6 foot 10

1:06:13

thruster by a board chamber called

1:06:15

Spider Murphy. And I bought this.

1:06:17

When I first started making a

1:06:19

proper living out of being an

1:06:21

actor. And you know, and then

1:06:23

you get a little bit, just

1:06:25

suppose you'll come and, you know,

1:06:27

you should get choices, you know.

1:06:29

And every time between each job,

1:06:31

especially if it was a long

1:06:33

job, and by the end of

1:06:35

filming, you're pretty knackered and you

1:06:37

feel like you want a holiday,

1:06:39

I would always go and rent

1:06:41

somewhere down in Cornwall, usually in

1:06:43

and around Yuki, and just surf,

1:06:45

sometimes with other people, often on

1:06:47

my own. And it just to

1:06:49

me... was a great sort of

1:06:51

reinvigorator after being for weeks and

1:06:53

weeks on set. And it's something

1:06:55

I'd started doing in my 20s.

1:06:57

And it's something I got more

1:06:59

and more into. And then the

1:07:01

more and more I got into

1:07:03

it, the more and more I

1:07:05

traveled to do it. So I

1:07:07

started going to places like Portugal.

1:07:09

to take my board with me

1:07:11

to Portugal. And it's ridiculous really

1:07:13

because I am honestly a very

1:07:15

average surfer, Mike. I mean, you

1:07:17

know, I am not built like

1:07:19

a surfer. I'm six foot two

1:07:21

and really your best surfers are

1:07:23

shorter and stockier. You know, with

1:07:25

a lower centre of gravity. But

1:07:27

I love it. And it's ridiculous

1:07:29

really. I've been to Portugal. The

1:07:31

board came with me. I went

1:07:33

to... I travelled around Indonesia. with

1:07:35

a board, which is not easy

1:07:37

when you're trying to climb onto

1:07:39

a train from Jakarta to some

1:07:41

bizarre out of the way surf

1:07:43

spot. Yeah. With a six foot

1:07:45

ten cluster. You know that you're

1:07:47

only probably going to catch two

1:07:50

waves on anyway because you know

1:07:52

you're not that good a surfer.

1:07:54

Did you take it to Bondi?

1:07:56

It went to Bondi with me

1:07:58

and again I called about to...

1:08:00

two waves on it before I

1:08:02

broke my hand. There's a, I

1:08:04

do, I'm gonna digress somewhere, but

1:08:06

in a few best men, which

1:08:08

you mentioned earlier, I have an

1:08:10

injured hand in the film and

1:08:12

is bound in a bandage throughout

1:08:14

the film. That's a complete affectation

1:08:16

that had to be written into

1:08:18

the script because I broke my

1:08:20

hand while we were filming. And

1:08:22

I broke my hand and I

1:08:24

had to have. very quickly because

1:08:26

I had to have hand surgery

1:08:28

because I ruptured a tendon was

1:08:30

called an extensore hood on my

1:08:32

knuckle which is the muscle that

1:08:34

holds your tendon on to your

1:08:36

finger and so when it drops

1:08:38

your finger drops like that and

1:08:40

literally hangs below your hand and

1:08:42

if you don't get it fixed

1:08:44

quick it will heal like that

1:08:46

and your finger will hang down

1:08:48

forever. And so I went to

1:08:50

see a surgeon in Australia and

1:08:52

he said, you've got to get

1:08:54

that done now. And so I

1:08:56

had to beg for a day

1:08:58

off work off filming and they

1:09:00

had to move the schedule around

1:09:02

a bit. And I had to

1:09:04

literally on my day off going

1:09:06

and have surgery on this hand.

1:09:08

And that's why in the film

1:09:10

I've got a bandage around my

1:09:12

hand for the whole thing. That's

1:09:14

good. That's good trivia stuff. That's

1:09:16

people who put that in a

1:09:18

quiz. Yes, which also meant that

1:09:20

I couldn't surf on my six

1:09:22

foot 10 thrusts. So again, I

1:09:24

drag this surfboard, and you know,

1:09:26

the surfboard costs money to put

1:09:28

in the hold of aircraft, quite

1:09:30

often, you know, 100 or a

1:09:32

couple hundred quid. And I drag

1:09:34

this surfboard, you know, thinking, I'm

1:09:36

literally living in Bondi, the home,

1:09:39

one of the meckers of surfing.

1:09:41

And I am going to love

1:09:43

it, because I'm making a movie

1:09:45

and I can surf every day.

1:09:47

I surf for two days, broke

1:09:49

my hand and didn't surf again.

1:09:51

So again, I spent honestly shit

1:09:53

loads of money and lots of

1:09:55

time dragging a surfboard around that

1:09:57

I barely caught any waves on.

1:09:59

Same in LA. I got a

1:10:01

job in LA. I lived out

1:10:03

there for a year and a

1:10:05

half. I bought... or I rented

1:10:07

a house on the boardwalk in

1:10:09

Venice, which again is Dogtown, what

1:10:11

they used to call Dogtown, which

1:10:13

is again a mackere of surfing.

1:10:15

And I'm like, every day I'm

1:10:17

gonna surf. It's fantastic. I can't

1:10:19

wait. I get to work all

1:10:21

day, get to surf in the

1:10:23

evening, perfect job. Again, something happened.

1:10:25

And so I feel like. I've

1:10:27

dragged this board around the world.

1:10:29

It's got more air miles, I

1:10:31

think, than I do, because it's

1:10:33

been lost on aircraft more times

1:10:35

than I can remember. It's been

1:10:37

on tiny little boats, you know,

1:10:39

with fishermen. I've cajole to get

1:10:41

me out to a surf break

1:10:43

and all that kind of stuff.

1:10:45

And it's whacked me in the

1:10:47

face, and more than one occasion,

1:10:49

I've got a scar on my

1:10:51

arm from it. And it's now

1:10:53

sitting in my garage, and it's

1:10:55

split. It completely split. The fiberglass

1:10:57

will split. and it broke, and

1:10:59

it just sat in my garage

1:11:01

just gathering dust. A couple of

1:11:03

years ago, I dug it out,

1:11:05

and I thought, you know, I'm

1:11:07

going to get this fixed. So

1:11:09

I went down to the local

1:11:11

surfboard shaper, because I live on

1:11:13

the coast, and I said, can

1:11:15

you fix this? And you said,

1:11:17

yeah, I can fix that. And

1:11:19

so it's been fixed. And I've

1:11:21

recently started using it again. Great.

1:11:23

I'm really hoping that I might

1:11:25

be able to pass it on

1:11:28

to my time capsule. It's a

1:11:30

great reminder of humility, I think,

1:11:32

you know, of the need to

1:11:34

be humble in a weird kind

1:11:36

of a way, because that board

1:11:38

humbles me. Because I walk around

1:11:40

with it thinking I'm sort of

1:11:42

some great surfing guru. And I've

1:11:44

done, and I've owned that board

1:11:46

since I was 27. And I've,

1:11:48

you know, I've gone around the

1:11:50

world with that board thinking, you

1:11:52

know, this is the life, I'm

1:11:54

sort of this big surfing indeed.

1:11:56

and it humbles me every time

1:11:58

because it either waxed me in

1:12:00

the face or it gives me

1:12:02

a scar or I break my

1:12:04

hand or it gets lost on...

1:12:06

aircraft but it always comes back

1:12:08

and sits in my garage and

1:12:10

it's always there and I've also

1:12:12

the very few occasions I do

1:12:14

catch a really good wave. It's

1:12:16

been like it's been like an

1:12:18

epiphany and also that with Kynant's

1:12:20

Cove. Yeah. And I carry such

1:12:22

an affinity and joy of the

1:12:24

sea. I mean you know I

1:12:26

do all the Vemhoff stuff you

1:12:28

know with the cold water swimming

1:12:30

and and and it seems that

1:12:32

every job I do at the

1:12:34

moment I do at the moment

1:12:36

is by the moment is by

1:12:38

the And so I'm very fortuitous

1:12:40

and I live by the sea

1:12:42

now as well. I'm down by

1:12:44

the coast. And so, you know,

1:12:46

I sail on it. I sail

1:12:48

yachts and I put a board

1:12:50

and surf and swim in it.

1:12:52

And it's just such a bedrock

1:12:54

of my life. And it all

1:12:56

comes from those two things really,

1:12:58

from Kynance Cove. And that sort

1:13:00

of epiphany I had. When I

1:13:02

realize that there were places in

1:13:04

the UK that were places in

1:13:06

the UK that were... quite stunningly

1:13:08

beautiful, like no other place on

1:13:10

earth. And also with the board,

1:13:12

the sea is a humbling place

1:13:14

because it's so vast and it

1:13:17

can be very benign and very

1:13:19

beautiful and warm and inviting. And

1:13:21

yet it could be utterly deadly.

1:13:23

And I love the peril of

1:13:25

it and I love the reminder

1:13:27

that it's a bit like a

1:13:29

sort of thoroughbred stallion. It's sort

1:13:31

of, it looks so beautiful and

1:13:33

you can admire its beauty and

1:13:35

it's absolutely brilliant and yet it's

1:13:37

going to kill you if it

1:13:39

gets half a chance. And it's,

1:13:41

so it's that humility and that

1:13:43

humbling element to it that I

1:13:45

think it has to go in

1:13:47

the time capsule and also because

1:13:49

I don't think I could live

1:13:51

my life without the sea anymore.

1:13:53

Right. I just don't think it

1:13:55

could. As a sailor then, is

1:13:57

that area around Kynan's Cove with

1:13:59

the lizard? Is that sort of

1:14:01

where two seas meet, isn't it?

1:14:03

It's one of the most... dangerous

1:14:05

places to sail, I think, isn't

1:14:07

it? People who say they go

1:14:09

around the lizard. You go the

1:14:11

wrong time. And I think that

1:14:13

specifically, and I've never sailed around

1:14:15

finance, so, but you do have

1:14:17

the meeting of the English Channel,

1:14:19

which then it turns into the

1:14:21

Atlantic, and the Atlantic is savage,

1:14:23

is really savage. And it's that

1:14:25

kind of expansiveness of nature, where

1:14:27

you feel such a small cog

1:14:29

in it. and which you do

1:14:31

when you're sailing, especially when I

1:14:33

first got into sailing, a friend

1:14:35

of mine had a boat. And

1:14:37

he said, you have to help

1:14:39

me sell this boat. And I

1:14:41

went, sure, where are we going?

1:14:43

You went, Mejorka. And I went,

1:14:45

we're in Southampton. I was like,

1:14:47

I don't know how to sail.

1:14:49

And by the way, nor do

1:14:51

you. And he said, don't worry

1:14:53

we're going to hire an instructor.

1:14:55

And he's going to hire an

1:14:57

instructor and he's going to hire

1:14:59

a hire instructor and he's going

1:15:01

to hire and he's going to

1:15:03

hire a hire a hire and

1:15:06

he's going to hire to hire

1:15:08

a hire and he's going to

1:15:10

hire a hire to hire and

1:15:12

he's a hire and he's going

1:15:14

to hire and he's going to

1:15:16

hire and he's going to hire

1:15:18

to hire to hire to hire

1:15:20

to hire to hire and he's

1:15:22

a hire to hire to hire

1:15:24

to hire and he's a hire

1:15:26

to hire to hire to hire

1:15:28

and he's a hire and he's

1:15:30

a hire to hire to hire

1:15:32

and I just got bitten by

1:15:34

it. I already had a love

1:15:36

for the sea obviously because of

1:15:38

my surfing and but it's just

1:15:40

that expansiveness that sort of you

1:15:42

know we cross Bea Biscay where

1:15:44

you don't see a soul for

1:15:46

four days. No. Anything. That's huge

1:15:48

in a little boat. In a

1:15:50

tiny 35 foot boat. It's a

1:15:52

feel so small and so humbled.

1:15:54

It's a great resetter, I think,

1:15:56

and a great sort of fun.

1:15:58

Well, I think that people would

1:16:00

look at your life and look

1:16:02

at your career and go, wow,

1:16:04

that's incredible. Everything's fallen at your

1:16:06

feet. It's been fantastic. You've done

1:16:08

the most amazing films and television

1:16:10

parts. I've been so lucky. I

1:16:12

really am. Well, that is true.

1:16:14

But at the same time, as

1:16:16

you say, you're a really crap

1:16:18

auditioner. So you would also have

1:16:20

failed a lot of times. Yeah.

1:16:22

And I think that that's one

1:16:24

of those things that you can

1:16:26

learn from life is that actually

1:16:28

things can look simple, but they

1:16:30

never are. No, and also just

1:16:32

because, and I think this is...

1:16:34

something I'd do a lot. It's

1:16:36

just because you're not necessarily the

1:16:38

best at anything. I don't think

1:16:40

I was even the best actor

1:16:42

in my school. Just because you're

1:16:44

not the best at something. If

1:16:46

something's a passion of yours, I'm

1:16:48

not the best surfer, I'm certainly

1:16:50

not the best sailor, I'm very

1:16:53

much a barefoot and beers kind

1:16:55

of sailor, but it's doing what

1:16:57

you love and if you see

1:16:59

that vision and that path, it's

1:17:01

having the tenacity to do it

1:17:03

to do it. And I think

1:17:05

it's that tenacity and that tenaciousness

1:17:07

that just will pull you through

1:17:09

those things. And I think that's

1:17:11

important. And I think that's a

1:17:13

whole sort of theme really about

1:17:15

the time capsule for me. Because

1:17:17

you want to show you a

1:17:19

time capsule to someone else as

1:17:21

well as have it for yourself.

1:17:23

So I think that's the theme

1:17:25

for me. It's just never give

1:17:27

up. Just don't give up. No.

1:17:29

Because you never know what's going

1:17:31

to happen. Because if you don't

1:17:33

give up, because if you don't

1:17:35

give up, you get lucky. Sometimes.

1:17:37

Yeah. Well, okay, we're going to

1:17:39

put both those things in, Kainz

1:17:41

Cove, and your six foot thruster.

1:17:43

Six foot ten thruster. Oh, I

1:17:45

beg your pardon. That's who. It's

1:17:47

taking ten inches off my thruster.

1:17:49

Oh, I'm sorry. I beg your

1:17:51

pardon. That means that we put

1:17:53

in the four things you'd like

1:17:55

to keep. Yeah. It's one thing

1:17:57

you'd like to put in there

1:17:59

because you want to forget it.

1:18:01

Yeah. Well, you know it's really

1:18:03

hard to come up with one

1:18:05

thing to come up with one

1:18:07

thing. So, I mean, one is

1:18:09

so generic, I don't really think

1:18:11

I should put it in, and

1:18:13

that's melon. Because, melon, I mean,

1:18:15

everyone loves melon. Everyone I come

1:18:17

across in my life loves melon.

1:18:19

Especially when you work and live

1:18:21

in hot countries as well. It's

1:18:23

like, honestly, on Death and Paradise

1:18:25

the whole time. They used to

1:18:27

bring in. Bring in the melon.

1:18:29

I'm like, oh God's sick. I

1:18:31

can't stand melon. I think it

1:18:33

should be bad. Obviously, I've heard

1:18:35

that's a joke because I wouldn't

1:18:37

for go. You say a joke?

1:18:39

You say a joke? I mean,

1:18:42

I'm vehemently opposing. Have you ever

1:18:44

worked with Kevin McNally, the actor?

1:18:46

I've just worked with him. There

1:18:48

we are. Literally, about eight weeks

1:18:50

ago. Well, offer him a rum

1:18:52

punch and see what he says.

1:18:54

Sorry, I'd write in the bit

1:18:56

of a drink. I do apologize.

1:18:58

Yeah. If I see another fucking

1:19:00

rum punch, I'm going to punch

1:19:02

someone. Yeah, he's literally in the

1:19:04

latest series of the upcoming series

1:19:06

of Beyond Parents. Yeah, very good.

1:19:08

He was fantastic to have him

1:19:10

as well. You do get really

1:19:12

some fabulous guests on it, don't

1:19:14

you? Yeah. It's good. Sorry, that's

1:19:16

the dog barking. Yes, melon. I

1:19:18

mean, yeah. But it is quite

1:19:20

generic melon. But my kids love

1:19:22

it, so I feel like, and

1:19:24

they know I hate it. So

1:19:26

we get into a situation now,

1:19:28

wherever we're away, or even at

1:19:30

home, you know, and they're like,

1:19:32

dad, eat some melon. I'll give

1:19:34

you five pounds if you eat

1:19:36

some melon. I'll give you all

1:19:38

my pocket money if you try

1:19:40

some melon. I'm not trying the

1:19:42

melon. I hate fucking melon. I

1:19:44

don't know. It's the non taste.

1:19:46

It doesn't really taste of anything

1:19:48

as well. That's what people say

1:19:50

to me. How can you not

1:19:52

like melon? It doesn't even taste

1:19:54

of anything. I'm like, yeah, but

1:19:56

it doesn't, which is kind of

1:19:58

also the point I hate melon.

1:20:00

But it also does taste of

1:20:02

something. It's quite sickly tasting as

1:20:04

well. So you have something that

1:20:06

A, doesn't taste like anything, but

1:20:08

also tastes like shit. So why?

1:20:10

And they go, it was so

1:20:12

refreshing. Yeah, so's water. Just have

1:20:14

water. Hardy any calories, what's the

1:20:16

point then? Yeah, exactly. Go eat

1:20:18

cucumber. I mean, for God's say,

1:20:20

cure me cucumber. doesn't taste of

1:20:22

anything, but doesn't have that sickly

1:20:24

taste the melon does. Plus, it

1:20:26

doesn't have a hundred million pips

1:20:28

inside it when you cut the

1:20:31

thing open. I mean, for God's

1:20:33

sake, I mean, it's like, ah,

1:20:35

melon. It's just, I mean, I

1:20:37

think melon is, I think it's

1:20:39

Belsibob. I think... And then, you

1:20:41

know, what's that deal with water

1:20:43

melon. You've literally got to take

1:20:45

one bite and then, which is

1:20:47

basically water, I mean it clears

1:20:49

in the name. And then you

1:20:51

take one bite and then you've

1:20:53

got to spit seven pips out.

1:20:55

I mean what's all that about?

1:20:57

And then we're sitting there going,

1:20:59

well this is refreshing. My water's

1:21:01

refreshing, I don't have to spit

1:21:03

18 million pips out. It's ridiculous,

1:21:05

it's ridiculous. So, no, I'm happy

1:21:07

to put that in. I'm happy

1:21:09

to put melon in. Go on

1:21:11

up. But I'm willing to give

1:21:13

you two. If you want to.

1:21:15

Oh no, you don't have to

1:21:17

give me two, but all right,

1:21:19

I'll tell you briefly, I mean,

1:21:21

my mom, God bless her, she

1:21:23

was a wonderful lady. Sadly no

1:21:25

longer with us, but she, I

1:21:27

mean, a lot of people think

1:21:29

I'm posh, right, because I went

1:21:31

to boarding school, which is a

1:21:33

fair assumption, presumption, I guess, but

1:21:35

I'm not. I come from a

1:21:37

family, my dad, you know, my

1:21:39

dad did very well in the

1:21:41

REF, but. He came from a

1:21:43

very humble working class family in

1:21:45

Nottingham, grew up in a one-up,

1:21:47

one-down Nottingham, his dad was a

1:21:49

car mechanic, and my mum grew

1:21:51

up in a terrorist house in

1:21:53

Portsmouth. So there is a sort

1:21:55

of, you know, thing that people

1:21:57

think I'm sort of one of

1:21:59

those sort of pot-white guy actors,

1:22:01

but I'm not really, I mean...

1:22:03

Yes, my dad started doing very

1:22:05

well in the area. We became

1:22:07

a bit more middle class and

1:22:09

of course, yes, I went to

1:22:11

public school. So yes, obviously I

1:22:13

have been very lucky and very

1:22:15

fortunate. That goes by the buy.

1:22:17

But we didn't have much money

1:22:20

when we were very young, hence

1:22:22

tense and... So my dad was

1:22:24

off in a way, you know,

1:22:26

he was a flight crew, so

1:22:28

he was always away a lot

1:22:30

for weeks on end. And my

1:22:32

mom would be left bringing myself

1:22:34

and my sister up alone. And

1:22:36

she used to make all our

1:22:38

clothes. And now I think back,

1:22:40

I mean, she used to make

1:22:42

the most wondrous things. I used

1:22:44

to have a Lincoln Green suit

1:22:46

that now I would wear willingly.

1:22:48

But at the time, you just

1:22:50

want a pair of jeans. just

1:22:52

give me a pair of jeans.

1:22:54

And I wanted a pair of

1:22:56

trainers more than anything. And then

1:22:58

when I was about seven, she

1:23:00

went out and bought me a

1:23:02

pair of trainers. And it was

1:23:04

amazing. And I love these pair

1:23:06

of trainers. And I kept them

1:23:08

for ages. And then when it

1:23:10

came to going to boarding school,

1:23:12

we had to pack a trunk

1:23:14

to go to boarding school. And

1:23:16

I had all my homemade clothes

1:23:18

and jumpers. I mean, honestly, I

1:23:20

was about to go literally being

1:23:22

cast into a... a cauldron of

1:23:24

11 to 15 year old boys

1:23:26

living in one house and I

1:23:28

was not only was I dressed

1:23:30

head-to-foot in clothes my mum had

1:23:32

made on a singer sewing machine

1:23:34

you know in the late 70s

1:23:36

early 80s you were a gift

1:23:38

also you were a gift yeah

1:23:40

I was a gift you know

1:23:42

I'm bespectacled as well with and

1:23:44

my mom used to cut my

1:23:46

hair so frankly with I had

1:23:48

a bowl cut a bowl cut

1:23:50

and I've always had pretty terrible

1:23:52

eyesight so big thick glasses and

1:23:54

on the form which tells you

1:23:56

to pack your trunk it said

1:23:58

house shoes brackets not trainers so

1:24:00

my mom went my first day

1:24:02

of boarding school I'm not looking

1:24:04

forward to going anyway my mom

1:24:06

goes the only house shoes you

1:24:09

have are your open-toed sandals I

1:24:11

had a pair. Sorry I just

1:24:13

put my head in my hand.

1:24:15

I do apologize. So my head,

1:24:17

I had a pair. of tan-colored

1:24:19

open-to sandals, which I hated, and

1:24:21

were cosigned to the back of

1:24:23

my wardrobe when I got trainers.

1:24:25

Fantastic. And the war only brought

1:24:27

out the occasion all the time

1:24:29

I had to go to church,

1:24:31

or we had to go lunch

1:24:33

with an aunt, or something like

1:24:35

that, which I could deal with.

1:24:37

But then, and these things I've

1:24:39

forgotten about them. They've been sitting

1:24:41

at the back of the cupboard

1:24:43

for two or three years. I

1:24:45

turn up at school the first

1:24:47

day, every fuckers wearing trainers. Everyone's

1:24:49

wearing trainers. She said, the only

1:24:51

houses you have are those sandals.

1:24:53

I said, mum, I can't take

1:24:55

those sandals. I cannot take those

1:24:57

sandals. You have to take those

1:24:59

sandals. It says here, no trainers.

1:25:01

I turn up at school, first

1:25:03

day, every fuck is wearing trainers.

1:25:05

Everyone's wearing trainers. And I'm in

1:25:07

open-toed sandals. clothes made by my

1:25:09

mom. It took me two years

1:25:11

of humor, fighting, and listening to

1:25:13

Pink Floyd to get over the

1:25:15

first day I turned up wearing

1:25:17

open tow sandals. I can still

1:25:19

remember standing in the lunch queue

1:25:21

the first day I was there

1:25:23

with these open-toed sandals on going,

1:25:25

oh my God. So open-toed tan

1:25:27

sandals. Those open-toed town sandals are

1:25:29

going into that time capsule or

1:25:31

being buried, buried far away from

1:25:33

me as far away from me

1:25:35

as possible. So thank you Mike

1:25:37

for my second thing because that's

1:25:39

it. And it was worth doing

1:25:41

I think. Oh my lord I

1:25:43

do feel for you. Those moments

1:25:45

where you realise that you've just

1:25:47

made a massive mistake. Oh no.

1:25:49

And it's going to stick with

1:25:51

you forever. I went on a

1:25:53

school trip. Somebody went, oh look

1:25:55

a rat, I said actually it's

1:25:58

a fold. And that's all it

1:26:00

took. I know. That's all it

1:26:02

took. I was volman for years.

1:26:04

Volman! Volman! God! It is awful,

1:26:06

isn't it? It is tough. It

1:26:08

is tough. But luckily, it's given

1:26:10

us the skin to deal with

1:26:12

everything that's come since. That's where

1:26:14

we're actors, ma'am. Actually, we've had

1:26:16

a fantastic time. We've had a

1:26:18

fantastic time. You know, no regrets.

1:26:20

It's the whole thing about everything,

1:26:22

you know. Well, there's nothing to

1:26:24

regret. Everything's either a lesson or

1:26:26

a just a just a good

1:26:28

story or an anecdote, you know,

1:26:30

and you know, nothing about, you

1:26:32

know, those days or these things

1:26:34

define you as a person. I

1:26:36

tell my kids that all the

1:26:38

time. So, you know, don't worry.

1:26:40

I mean, you know, because, you

1:26:42

know, if you feel so in

1:26:44

the center of the maelstrom, when

1:26:46

you're, when you're that age as

1:26:48

well. And I just say to

1:26:50

them, look, none of this will

1:26:52

define you at all. Almost everything

1:26:54

that happens to you that's bad.

1:26:56

You can immediately start thinking of

1:26:58

us, this is going to make

1:27:00

a great story to someone. I

1:27:02

can tell this is an anecdote.

1:27:04

If you live in the world

1:27:06

of anecdotes, which largely we do,

1:27:08

and of course, largely that's what

1:27:10

this podcast is, then it's fantastic