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it on E.S.p.com. slash P. I

1:24

started seeing this person for

1:26

the past couple of weeks,

1:28

but we've never seen something

1:31

that happened to them recently

1:33

and wanted to get

1:35

kind of like everyone's

1:37

opinions. So she says,

1:39

I started seeing this person

1:42

for the past couple of

1:44

weeks, but we've never done

1:46

anything sexual. I don't do sex

1:48

before dating a person exclusively and

1:51

he told me he can't have

1:53

sex with someone he doesn't have

1:55

an emotional connection with. Okay, okay. Today

1:57

he asked for my permission to mask

1:59

to my picture. Okay. I was

2:02

initially taken it back by this

2:04

request, but then it occurred to

2:06

me that he actually asked for

2:08

my permission, which is something no

2:11

one has done before. Now I

2:13

think maybe I see it as

2:15

a green flag. Any feedback or

2:17

advice is appreciated. Okay, so first

2:19

of all, we're clarifying he's asking

2:22

to do it on his own

2:24

time, not like not in front

2:26

of her like, you know, I

2:28

would assume picture if he's in

2:30

front of her. That's true. Yeah,

2:33

yeah, so on your own time.

2:35

Also, I do want to say

2:37

we did just jump right into

2:39

it. No, how are you doing?

2:41

Welcome. So we're talking about masturbation,

2:44

minute one, minute one. Okay. Hmm.

2:46

I think it's very polite. I

2:48

personally, because of the cold black

2:50

heart that I have, I think

2:52

would be very, this would be

2:55

a turn off for me. You

2:57

know? I don't need to know.

2:59

Just do it, dude. Like, whatever.

3:01

You know? I am afraid of-

3:03

It's a little thought- policy, right?

3:06

Yeah. It is, it makes me

3:08

wonder maybe what other hang ups

3:10

might hit us in the future

3:12

or other snags. And I appreciate

3:15

and I see where, listen, I

3:17

think it's to each of their

3:19

own. I think you take it,

3:21

she's seen it as a green

3:23

flag. You know what? It might

3:26

be. Yeah, wonderful. Maybe you guys

3:28

are a good match. That's right.

3:30

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, because for me,

3:32

I don't need, yeah, I don't

3:34

want to see a picture of

3:37

it, like don't send me a

3:39

dick pick or whatever, I'll be

3:41

like, looking at your picture did

3:43

this to me, like I don't

3:45

need that, but I also don't

3:48

need. We've been talking for a

3:50

couple of weeks, I mean, it's

3:52

not like, if you've asked for

3:54

it, I just, I never want

3:56

a. I don't know, you get

3:59

really turned on thinking about someone,

4:01

I never like, I never want

4:03

to open my phone at me,

4:05

you know what I mean? Right,

4:07

right, right, yeah. But, so I

4:10

don't need that, but I don't

4:12

know, like when you're really into

4:14

somebody, I mean, as women too,

4:16

it's like, I don't know, you

4:18

get really turned on thinking about

4:21

someone or you see a picture

4:23

or whatever, and like, you got

4:25

to do, right, right? Ask permission

4:27

for that on my end. But

4:29

I think a guy would think

4:32

that's hotter though. I feel like

4:34

I feel like a guy would

4:36

be so turned on by that.

4:38

Maybe. Like if you were like.

4:40

Can I can I jerk it

4:43

to a photo of you? That

4:45

feels very like dumb sub. Your

4:47

your LinkedIn profile pick is just

4:49

really doing it for me. This

4:52

AI generated photo of you in

4:54

a suit. Oh God. Oh God.

4:56

Yeah, I mean, I feel like

4:58

I've shared that on the podcast

5:00

before. I definitely looked at someone's

5:03

LinkedIn. They had a really fucking

5:05

hot LinkedIn photo. And that's how

5:07

I found out that you can

5:09

see who's viewing your. Oh, you

5:11

did talk about that. Oh God.

5:14

But that's what I was doing,

5:16

looking at the pictures. I did

5:18

not ask permission, but you know.

5:20

Did you actually like, you said,

5:22

if she thinks it's a green

5:25

flag, you know, they, but what

5:27

does he do for a living,

5:29

man's lumberjack? Like. Oh, man. Oh,

5:31

wow. But yeah, no, I mean,

5:33

I think that that is, I

5:36

mean, like you said, if she

5:38

thinks it's a green flag, you

5:40

know, they, but I want, I

5:42

want secrets. Do you know what

5:44

I mean? I want secrets for

5:47

myself and I want secrets for

5:49

my partner too. I mean, there's

5:51

something... old school like like like

5:53

you know gentile about asking in

5:55

a way but like I don't

5:58

need that I'm good yeah I

6:00

don't want that yeah I'm with

6:02

you I like yeah I don't

6:04

know like there's there's also something

6:06

hot about doing it and then

6:09

talking to the person about it

6:11

later yeah You know what I

6:13

mean? I think it's just like,

6:15

oh, like looking at your picture

6:17

made me like so turned on

6:20

earlier today. Oh God, I don't

6:22

know. That would also be like,

6:24

oh my God. Like it depends.

6:26

I guess it does. Yeah, I

6:29

suppose it's a bad. But I'm

6:31

saying like there, I don't want

6:33

to know everything about my partner.

6:35

I just feel like a little

6:37

bit of secrecy or mystery and

6:40

privacy. is necessary. I agree. Attractive.

6:42

You know? I agree. I don't

6:44

want to know. Like people are

6:46

weird and gross. I don't need

6:48

to know. I know I'm weird

6:51

and gross. I don't want everybody

6:53

to know everything about me. You

6:55

know? You know? No, no, no.

6:57

As I talk about what I

6:59

talk about. This podcast is going

7:02

up in flames if anything happens

7:04

to any of us. You know,

7:06

also, like, we have a pact,

7:08

like, I need you guys to

7:10

come over, burn all my diaries,

7:13

get rid of all my sex

7:15

toys. Like, if anything happens to

7:17

me, I am gonna have to

7:19

make a key. Yeah, yes. Where

7:21

are you guys? Yeah. To come

7:24

into my apartment and just clear

7:26

that shit out. Yeah, we really

7:28

do need to work on our

7:30

dateline binders too. Yeah, 100%. I'm

7:32

gonna have a folder on my

7:35

laptop. I'll give you the password.

7:37

Anything happens? You've got my dateline

7:39

folder. If I go missing. In

7:41

fact, why don't we just put

7:43

it in our Google Drive? We

7:46

have a space. That's true. Dateline,

7:48

dateline folder. Kagan Cassie Christina Christina.

7:50

Approved photos. Yeah, and you know,

7:52

we'll have separate folders within that

7:54

folder. Exactly. Missing photo, murder photo.

7:57

That's right. If I'm missing, it's

7:59

one set of photos. If I

8:01

murdered, it's a different set of

8:03

photos. Like, it's the best pictures

8:06

of me. They keep showing on,

8:08

like, Tiktok, there's a thing about

8:10

this, this one. I don't know

8:12

if something happened. It's clearly like

8:14

a date line or a 60

8:17

minutes or something and they're talking

8:19

about this girl and they're like,

8:21

so fucking awful. They're like, well,

8:23

she was a bigger girl. She

8:25

wasn't, she was kind of homely.

8:28

She really wasn't that much of

8:30

a look or and I'm like,

8:32

oh my God. You didn't find

8:34

friends? Like, are these her friends?

8:36

So, like, it's so bad. Yeah,

8:39

I would fucking never first of

8:41

all. I know. But also you

8:43

have to be truthful. Sometimes when

8:45

I watch these date lines, I'm

8:47

like, okay, they're making her out

8:50

like she was a saint. Like

8:52

be realistic. I mean, sometimes she

8:54

was a little bit of a

8:56

bitch, but I mean, not enough

8:58

to murder. You know what I

9:01

mean? Saturday Nightlife characters when they're

9:03

like, oh no, she was great.

9:05

You know, there was this, you

9:07

know, if you were really, you

9:09

know, if you were really. Listen

9:12

nobody is for everybody that's just

9:14

the way that it is like

9:16

nobody is for everybody like you're

9:18

my bitches you guys are for

9:20

me yes I realize that like

9:23

maybe you're not for everyone else

9:25

and I'm not either okay we're

9:27

friends for a reason so if

9:29

I'm talking about you on dateline

9:31

I'm like she was the badest

9:34

bitch in town I love her

9:36

right right honestly there's not gonna

9:38

be a time when I'm like

9:40

a time when I'm like well

9:43

she could have been and I

9:45

don't know that girl Who I

9:47

know is the bad-ass bitch. And

9:49

she's amazing. Yeah, and also fuck

9:51

those people who feel bad about

9:54

her. How are you? Yeah. I

9:56

mean, I recognize that I'm like

9:58

Salantro. Some people love. it. Others

10:00

they're like, ugh, soap. So, you

10:02

know, yeah, listen, I love cilantro.

10:05

So, I do too. I do

10:07

too. And we're all that way.

10:09

Yeah, we're all that way. Doesn't

10:11

matter who you are. No, I

10:13

light up a fucking room. I

10:16

don't know what you're talking about.

10:18

Yeah, actually, you light up the

10:20

room like a fireball. Like the

10:22

in the most like complementary way

10:24

yes, yes Like a boom bitches.

10:27

I'm here. What's up like a

10:29

mall of Cocktail I like that's

10:31

what I'm saying on dateline for

10:33

sure Okay, oh my god. Oh,

10:35

she lit up a room like

10:38

a mall. Top cocktail Mm-hmm Mm-hmm

10:40

Absolutely, they're like sweaty Oh my

10:42

gosh. Now I need very much

10:44

for us to have the hard

10:46

conversation that we've been putting off.

10:49

I forget which one of you

10:51

guys texted that picture. I know

10:53

what's happening right now. Yes. Yep.

10:55

We have a huge discussion to

10:57

have because I don't think that

11:00

we are in agreement. We're talking

11:02

potatoes and it's very fucking serious.

11:04

It is. Because we're all big

11:06

potato fans. Yes. Yeah, we've got

11:08

Midwest Blood. So like potatoes are

11:11

holy grail. Very important. I just

11:13

had them yesterday. Okay. So you

11:15

know, I think we should start

11:17

off favorite and worst, right? Like

11:20

favorite potato for me, hands down,

11:22

tater tots. It's so tough, it's

11:24

tough too. Are we talking, are

11:26

we talking from that picture or

11:28

just favorite potato in general? Yeah,

11:31

no, no, no. Let me pull

11:33

the picture up. Okay. So I'm

11:35

gonna I'm gonna go ahead and

11:37

give the listeners the options here

11:39

So the options are shoestring fries

11:42

gross curly fries Yeah, tots waffle

11:44

fries sweet potato fries zigzag wedges

11:46

Or onion rings or onion rings

11:48

are not potatoes or onion rings

11:50

are not potatoes. So I don't

11:53

know if we want to know

11:55

we won't even include those. No

11:57

onion rings. So those are the

11:59

options. I think you should put

12:01

mashers in their place like mashed

12:04

potatoes. Like mashed potatoes. Yeah. Oh

12:06

yeah, sure, yeah. I love it.

12:08

These are more like finger food.

12:10

So we're talking finger food potatoes.

12:12

Okay, okay, okay. Although we have

12:15

shared stories where people eat with

12:17

their hands. To soup up them

12:19

mashed. Hash browns. Like McDonald's hash

12:21

brown. Those are like tater tots.

12:23

You're right. They're so delicious. Yeah,

12:26

they are delicious. I, um, because

12:28

I said there was a clear

12:30

winner here. and which I said

12:32

was tater toss and you guys

12:34

were like curly curly fries also

12:37

tops real high I am gonna

12:39

go with curly fries because one

12:41

thing that isn't on here is

12:43

those like really crispy fries like

12:45

those ones that like are like

12:48

double fried or whatever I think

12:50

you can get them at like

12:52

rally like the ones that like

12:54

oh yeah those seasoned fries yeah

12:57

like curly fries are the closest

12:59

yeah you're right so I'm gonna

13:01

go curly fries are the closest

13:03

yeah so I'm gonna go curly

13:05

fries are the closest yeah on

13:08

here, but to me, okay, I

13:10

have two options for losers. Okay.

13:12

And I feel like they're not

13:14

going to align with. Oh, it's

13:16

sweet potato fries a thousand times

13:19

out of the thousands. How dare

13:21

you? They're awful potato fries. How

13:23

dare you? It's not even the

13:25

same potato. Oh, shoestring fries? Imposters.

13:27

Love shoestring fries. No, those shoestring

13:30

fries are like McDonald's fries. Oh,

13:32

no. I think of them as

13:34

the shoestring fries are thinner than

13:36

the McDonald's fries. Yeah, I like

13:38

them thin. gross, ew. Well, but

13:41

in and out fries, not the

13:43

same, but if you've ever been

13:45

to like a steak and shake,

13:47

like those are shoestring fries to

13:49

me. Yeah, don't like them. Oh

13:52

man, I'm so down, because I,

13:54

for me, the thing that I

13:56

like is them being like crispy.

13:58

So for me, Zigzag fries and

14:00

wedges are on the out wedges

14:03

wedges are towards the bottom because

14:05

a lot of times they're not

14:07

cooked properly and so you're getting

14:09

like raw fucking potatoes Yeah, like

14:11

I don't want I don't want

14:14

that in my life B dubs

14:16

has really good potato wedges. Those

14:18

are right. I know I'm right.

14:20

I've got a lot about this

14:23

But Chris makes, I have a

14:25

master's degree in potatoes. It's true.

14:27

It's true. You know, we have

14:29

not discussed the waffle fry, which

14:31

underrated the waffle fry. It's the

14:34

Canadian of potatoes. I don't know

14:36

why, but I just, I truly

14:38

see that as like, I don't

14:40

know. It feels like everything else

14:42

is very American. This feels Canadian.

14:45

during this trying times, then I

14:47

feel like the Canadian fry wins.

14:49

I do, I love a waffle

14:51

fry. It was not, it was

14:53

close up there, you know? When

14:56

a waffle fry is an option,

14:58

because it's not always, it's not

15:00

always an option, but like when

15:02

it is an option. Always happy

15:04

with it. I'm never disappointed by

15:07

a waffle fry. That's right. They're

15:09

the Canadians because I'm just like

15:11

dude, they're reliable, trustworthy, not disappointed.

15:13

Waffle fries, fucking, get a zigzag.

15:15

We love it. A zigzag fry.

15:18

Who is ordering? Like who is

15:20

choosing that? Like if you have

15:22

an option. Are you serious? Yep.

15:24

Yep. I love a zigzag fry.

15:26

It's nostalgic for me. I feel

15:29

like they're always a little wilty.

15:31

Dude, you gotta, you gotta, you

15:33

gotta make. Take them in the

15:35

air fryer. Chef's kiss, dude. Okay.

15:37

Like a home, a home made.

15:40

Yeah, I got it and I

15:42

put it in the rotisserie basket.

15:44

You do it. French fry setting,

15:46

24 minutes. Oh, fucking perfection. Shit.

15:48

Okay. You've got to sound to

15:51

a science. Because for me, ZigZag

15:53

reminds me of. It does remind

15:55

me of childhood, but it reminds

15:57

me of childhood. Yeah, it reminds

16:00

me of like, it's like one

16:02

of those kid lien cuisines. Do

16:04

you remember those like kid ones

16:06

that you like put in the

16:08

microwave and I'm like, why are

16:11

we putting French fries in the

16:13

microwave? And then they're like weird

16:15

and mushy. Or like what you

16:17

would get at school, you know,

16:19

like they're always giving zigzag fries.

16:22

I think they're always giving them

16:24

to children. For some reason and

16:26

they're never cooked right. Yeah, they're

16:28

good. They're good for chili cheese

16:30

fries, but only if you cook

16:33

them until they're crisp. But most

16:35

people- They gotta be crisp. They

16:37

gotta be crisp. Yeah, that's the

16:39

problem is most people don't cook

16:41

a zigzag fry till it's crisp.

16:44

It's always like the palest of

16:46

the fries, like you know, the

16:48

light pastel yellow. Yes. It's an

16:50

inside of the banana yellow. It's

16:52

very paper pale. So if we're

16:55

gonna fuck Mary Kill our favorites.

16:57

Curly Tots and Waffle. Yeah. Oh,

16:59

okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, I

17:01

know what I'm gonna do immediately.

17:03

I have to marry the Waffle.

17:06

Yeah, reliable. I have to have

17:08

that. I have to have that

17:10

social health care. I got. Steady

17:12

Eddie. Yeah. You know, because you

17:14

gotta have like, yeah, it's steady.

17:17

You could make a nacho out

17:19

of that bitch. You could, I

17:21

think there's a lot you could

17:23

do with it. It's going to

17:25

surprise you with the options you

17:28

could do with it, for sure.

17:30

Yeah. It's the most stable. Yes,

17:32

dirty. Absolutely. I love it. You

17:34

can add variety too to the

17:37

Waffle Fry by like changing out

17:39

what you dip it in. Do

17:41

you want to dip it in

17:43

ranch? Truly. Do you want like

17:45

a kind of spicy ranch? I

17:48

mean truly that is the beauty

17:50

of all french fries and potato

17:52

related. Yeah. I mean, same thing

17:54

with greater toys. Yeah. Oh, and

17:56

man, like you know what I

17:59

love is chili cheese tater tots.

18:01

There's something about like the tater

18:03

tots specifically. with like stuff on

18:05

it like loaded. Yeah loaded different.

18:07

They hit different. They hit different

18:10

than fries. God. This is where

18:12

it gets like difficult. Like which

18:14

one do you fuck? The curly

18:16

fry is the Pedro Pascal of

18:18

French fries. A little wacky. a

18:21

little wacky, a little spicy. You're

18:23

gonna, you're gonna do a little

18:25

dom play, like some days he

18:27

wants to be in control, but

18:29

then some days he wants you

18:32

to be in control. You know

18:34

what I mean? Like it's gonna

18:36

be a, you know, sometimes, sometimes

18:38

it's a tight curl, sometimes it's

18:40

one of those loose ears. Yeah,

18:43

yeah. See, you're getting the most

18:45

variety in the fry itself. It's

18:47

true with the curly fry, with

18:49

the curly fry itself. They're like

18:51

cyclics. Yep, it's true. No two

18:54

are the same. You're absolutely right.

18:56

I gotta go with curly fry.

18:58

I'm gonna fuck a curly fry

19:00

because you're right. There is a

19:02

lot more variety in the curly

19:05

fry game. And then I got

19:07

a friend, a tater tot. Oh,

19:09

gotta. Yeah. Speaking of Steady Eddie,

19:11

always the same, consistent, always tastes

19:14

good. I've never had a bad

19:16

tater tot. You know what, I

19:18

had a like a real I

19:20

don't give a fuck moment the

19:22

other night because I live near

19:25

I live near a dominoes and

19:27

I ordered a pizza and they

19:29

had a deal where it was

19:31

like actually cheaper to get a

19:33

pizza and loaded tater tots. Oh

19:36

my god. Dominoes. on my house.

19:38

Tater tots? Oh shit. And they

19:40

have several different kinds. I'm a

19:42

vegetarian, so I just got the

19:44

three cheese, but they have like,

19:47

they have a Philly cheese steak

19:49

loaded tater tots. That's, whoa, whoa.

19:51

I'm actually glad that there aren't

19:53

dominoes here. Now that I did

19:55

order this. I had them, you

19:58

know, obviously I'm not going to

20:00

eat an entire pizza and loaded

20:02

and all the loaded tater tots

20:04

in one night. We don't judge.

20:06

That's right. I'm not mad. I

20:09

have some limits. I'm jealous. But

20:11

I did the next day eat

20:13

without heating them up just ate

20:15

like a few of those tots

20:17

covered in cheese cold. Yeah, still

20:20

good. It's okay. Still hitting. Yeah,

20:22

good friend. That's a good friend.

20:24

Yeah. Yeah. I actually think I'm

20:26

gonna marry the Tots. I really

20:28

do. Yeah. There's just like, like

20:31

you said, you could put toppings

20:33

on them, you could do a

20:35

lot of different, and I've never

20:37

ever had a bad Tot. Never.

20:39

Always makes me happy. Little hash

20:42

browns. That's right. Yeah. Tater Tots

20:44

are so reliable. They're they have

20:46

a 401k for sure absolutely yeah

20:48

Yeah financial planning on point that

20:51

fucking look good in their LinkedIn

20:53

profile Yeah, you know Chris crisp

20:55

I think I'm gonna do the

20:57

same I think I'm gonna marry

20:59

the top because I feel like

21:02

it's kind of the best of

21:04

both where it's not quite as

21:06

like steady as the as the

21:08

as the Waffle fry, but it's

21:10

not as unpredictable as the curly

21:13

fry. It's like kind of right

21:15

in the middle Yep. It is

21:17

gonna like be there for you.

21:19

It's it's stable enough for that

21:21

Yes, yes, but you fuck the

21:24

curve You go on a vendor

21:26

with the curly fry. Yeah, yeah,

21:28

yeah, yeah. Curly fry, will they

21:30

call you again? I don't know.

21:32

I don't know. Questionable. Very good.

21:35

But it's gonna be good every

21:37

time. That's your booty call. And

21:39

every time, it's gonna be great.

21:41

Like, the sex is good enough

21:43

that you can pick up the

21:46

phone, you know what I mean?

21:48

With the curly fry. So, it's

21:50

worth driving downtown for. Exactly. Yeah.

21:52

Sometimes curly fry, you're gonna cry,

21:54

sometimes you're gonna laugh, sometimes you're

21:57

gonna lose your fucking mind. I

21:59

mean, necessarily. Yeah. But man are

22:01

they delicious? And yeah, I'm gonna

22:03

friend the waffle fry. Yeah. That

22:05

is a good stable friend. They

22:08

are always gonna come over when

22:10

you call. They're gonna give really

22:12

good fucking advice. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

22:14

Little bit a little bit of

22:16

tough love. Yeah. Oh. And now

22:19

I'm hungry. Now I actually really

22:21

want some tater shots. I love

22:23

potato so much. I love potatoes.

22:25

I love potatoes. I love potatoes

22:28

too. I love potatoes. I love

22:30

potatoes. I love potatoes. I love

22:32

potatoes. I love potatoes. I had

22:34

a big. I had a big

22:36

potato. I had a big potato.

22:39

I had a big potato. Oh,

22:41

well, you guys want to take

22:43

five and then we'll come back

22:45

with stories? Sounds good. Nice to

22:47

meet you. I'm Ace from Cheg.

22:50

College got you feeling overwhelmed. I

22:52

get it, but you don't need

22:54

to lose your grip. We've got

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and solutions you can count on.

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23:09

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23:12

not alone in this. Let's get

23:14

a grip on college together. Join

23:16

me at Czech.com today. Why are

23:18

there riches on Reese's peanut butter

23:20

cups? Probably so they never slipped

23:23

from her hands. Can you imagine?

23:25

I'd lose it. Luckily, Reese's thought

23:27

about that. Wonder what else they

23:29

think about? Probably chocolate and peanut

23:31

butter. And we're back. Okay, Cass.

23:34

Okay, this one actually happened recently,

23:36

like last week. Met this guy

23:38

on a dating app. We were

23:40

texting for a few days. From

23:42

his profile, he seemed pretty chill

23:45

and all the picks were of

23:47

the same guy. We made plans

23:49

to meet up at a restaurant

23:51

that was local to us. He

23:53

got there before me and when

23:56

I pulled up and parked, a

23:58

huge pickup truck pulled up and

24:00

parked right next to me. The

24:02

guy driving rolled down his window

24:05

to get my attention. So I

24:07

rolled down my window too and

24:09

said, hey, I didn't realize the

24:11

restaurant was closed, but do you

24:13

want to get into my car

24:16

and we can go for a

24:18

drive? I was confused for a

24:20

second because I've never seen this

24:22

guy in my life until I

24:24

realize this is the guy I

24:27

was talking to. Okay, I was

24:29

confused because when she said all

24:31

the picks were of the same

24:33

guy, I was like, yeah, it's

24:35

a dating profile. You should all

24:38

be of the same guy. Fingers

24:40

crossed. Yeah, exactly. It was a

24:42

completely different guy. The dude in

24:44

the profile was so tall, dark,

24:46

and handsome type of guy. But

24:49

this guy in real life was

24:51

some scrawny, little, blonde, white t-shirt

24:53

guy. Nope. You're already in your

24:55

car, honey? In your car. Put

24:57

it in drive and drive away.

25:00

I pulled up his profile and

25:02

said, this is you? And he

25:04

lied and lied and lied trying

25:06

to convince me it was him.

25:08

He kept saying he hasn't shaved

25:11

in a few weeks and that's

25:13

why he looks different. Funny. But

25:15

baby. I have eyes. Right. Hi.

25:17

Oh, so your hair color has

25:19

also changed with that beard, huh?

25:22

But whoever's picture he was using

25:24

had facial hair, it was just

25:26

completely different person. So I just

25:28

told him that I can see

25:30

that this is not the same

25:33

person and I don't appreciate all

25:35

the lies and I was just

25:37

going to go out. I wasn't

25:39

going to go out with him.

25:42

He just kept trying to convince

25:44

me and so eventually he said,

25:46

it was fine and he wished

25:48

I believed him. He drove off

25:50

super fast and there was another

25:53

truck pickup truck in the parking

25:55

lot parked my left. That had

25:57

someone in it. truck followed him

25:59

out of the parking lot too.

26:01

I truly believe something sinister was

26:04

going on. Yes. And the restaurant

26:06

wasn't even closed. I could see

26:08

people dining and hanging out in

26:10

there. Good thing I always tell

26:12

my family when I'm going on

26:15

a date and show the picture

26:17

of the person I'm meeting up

26:19

with. That way they have my location. I

26:21

thought that right away because I was

26:23

like, why would... It's very weird

26:26

to pull up next to someone

26:28

and be like, oh get in

26:30

my car. No, no, that's

26:32

so weird. Oh, I'm so

26:34

glad that you shared that

26:36

cast. I know. And then

26:38

having another pickup truck on

26:40

the other side of you,

26:42

that's creepy. That's really creepy.

26:44

That's definitely feel sinister.

26:47

Yeah, no, that feels like

26:49

it could have been trafficking

26:51

or something. For sure. Trust

26:54

your guy. Okay,

26:56

so this story, this is

26:58

a worst date, best date

27:01

kind of story. Great. Also,

27:03

this was sent to us

27:05

by a listener like ages

27:07

ago, and then I had

27:10

forgotten about it until 5am

27:12

this morning when I was

27:14

laying in bed awake, and

27:16

I was like, oh yeah,

27:18

I should go look that up.

27:21

If you listened to our

27:23

shorty episode, this will.

27:25

This goes right along with

27:27

stuff we were talking about

27:30

in the shortie. Okay. Oh,

27:32

uh-oh, embracing myself. A little

27:34

back story. I, 25

27:37

female, am an assistant

27:39

preschool teacher. Okay. About

27:41

a month ago, I met a

27:43

man on tinder. Yes, I know

27:45

it's accessible. We'll call him D,

27:47

26 male. Funny enough. I

27:50

had swiped on him on

27:52

accident because I dropped my

27:54

phone. The universe wanted you

27:56

to do this for the

27:58

plot for sure. He matched

28:00

me and I didn't unmatch because

28:03

his opening line was funny. We

28:05

talked online for a few weeks

28:08

before deciding to meet in person.

28:10

On the day we were supposed

28:12

to have our first date, I

28:15

discovered that one of my darling

28:17

students gave me lice. Oh my

28:19

God. Itchy. I was freaking out.

28:22

I knew he wasn't going to

28:24

believe me and that he was

28:26

going to think I was just

28:29

blowing him off. I immediately tell

28:31

him that I have to hold

28:33

on yeah out of all the

28:36

excuses right why would you get

28:38

out why would you ever why

28:41

ever choose lice don't put that

28:43

no one's gonna do that that's

28:45

never gonna be a fake excuse

28:48

because no one would want to

28:50

be like I have like telling

28:52

someone you have crabs to get

28:55

out of the days you know

28:57

you're not gonna need to do

28:59

that we don't need to go

29:02

there We don't need to go

29:04

there. Okay. I immediately tell him

29:07

that I have to go to

29:09

the store and get Lice treatment,

29:11

and that I need a rain

29:14

check on the date. As expected,

29:16

he didn't believe me at first,

29:18

which honestly is so valid and

29:21

I couldn't blame him for it.

29:23

Is it? After I secure the

29:25

Lice treatment, I video called my

29:28

best friend crying about it, and

29:30

in their genius, they tell me

29:33

to offer to send him a

29:35

picture of my raw emotion with

29:37

the Lice treatment. I offer and

29:40

D says, sure, let's see it.

29:42

As soon as this man saw

29:44

that I was genuinely crying and

29:47

holding lice treatment, he offered to

29:49

come over and help me comb

29:51

bugs out of my hair. Oh,

29:54

they're married now. They're married now.

29:56

I asked my best friend what

29:58

I should do and they said

30:01

I should obviously let him do

30:03

it. So I give him my

30:06

address, apply the treatment to kill

30:08

the bugs. It needed to be

30:10

on my head for a while

30:13

before starting the combing process and

30:15

I met him outside of my

30:17

apartment complex to let him in.

30:20

He spent two hours combing bugs

30:22

out of my hair. I was

30:24

just a girl he met on

30:27

tinder. We hadn't even met in

30:29

person before this. We spent the

30:32

whole time talking and joking and

30:34

discussing our interests all normal first

30:36

date stuff. This man was meticulous.

30:39

He took his time and was

30:41

so gentle and kind. He didn't

30:43

make me feel bad about it

30:46

at all and even tried to

30:48

make light of the situation. By

30:50

the time we were done dealing

30:53

with the light. It's a green

30:55

flag. Oh, absolutely. that goes with

30:58

it, bagging, clothing, bedding, etc. It

31:00

was nearly 10 o'clock and the

31:02

Mexican restaurant we were going to

31:05

go to was about to close,

31:07

so we went to a different

31:09

restaurant. This man still wanted to

31:12

take me to dinner after combing

31:14

bugs out of my hair. Oh,

31:16

he's a real one. decided that

31:19

he'd already seen me at my

31:21

worst, so I wasn't going to

31:23

be shy about eating and ordered

31:26

a Guinness and a burger. It

31:28

had been a long day and

31:31

I just wanted comfort food. He,

31:33

however, decided he still needed to

31:35

impress me for some reason and

31:38

ordered a Guinness as well, even

31:40

though he's a light beer drinker

31:42

and had never even tried it

31:45

before. Oh my gosh, poor guy.

31:47

I ended up drinking two Guinness's,

31:49

sans one sip of his, because

31:52

he hated it. He told me

31:54

I was impressive and that he's

31:57

never had a girl actually order

31:59

what she wanted on a first

32:01

date. He refused to let me

32:04

pay. I tried given everything he'd

32:06

done for me and he asked

32:08

if he could see me again

32:11

soon. We're going out again later

32:13

this week. I need an update.

32:15

Updated twice. So they did go

32:18

on a second date to the

32:20

Mexican restaurant that they had wanted

32:23

to go to the first time.

32:25

It was great. And then she

32:27

updated again a few months later

32:30

and they were official and they

32:32

were official. And they were official.

32:34

I love it. That's so great.

32:37

Honestly, she swiped on him on

32:39

accidents. Faith. And she got lice

32:41

on the day of the day

32:44

and he and it worked out.

32:46

Like he was the the tater-tat

32:48

of dudes coming through. Yeah, human

32:51

data. Man. Dude, that is, that

32:53

is universe stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful.

32:56

Okay, well this is not that

32:58

at all. On a different note.

33:00

Heart warming about this. I would

33:03

love to get your take. So

33:05

please feel free to chime in.

33:07

Okay. For context, this was during

33:10

the height of my space days,

33:12

which I believe is where we

33:14

found each other, but it's also

33:17

possible we ASL to. one another

33:19

in an AOL chat room. Amazing.

33:22

We talked online and over the

33:24

phone for the course of about

33:26

two to three weeks. Not a

33:29

whole lot, but a decent amount.

33:31

It was flirty in a good

33:33

way and reciprocated. She was about

33:36

an hour away, so we finally

33:38

decided to meet. Then I find

33:40

out she doesn't have a car.

33:43

Okay, fine. I'll drive all the

33:45

way there and pick her up.

33:48

She definitely didn't look like her

33:50

picture, but that only momentarily phased

33:52

me as I knew we had

33:55

a bit of a connection. She

33:57

also brought her backpack, which seems

33:59

pretty full and maybe heavy as

34:02

well. We get to the restaurant.

34:04

She brings in the backpack. Okay.

34:06

We talk as these things go.

34:09

There's a bit more shyness when

34:11

finally speaking in person. Food is

34:13

done and she says she needs

34:16

to show me something. No, don't,

34:18

no, please don't. She began digging

34:21

in her bag and pulls out

34:23

two giant family photo albums. Oh

34:25

no. And like they were both

34:28

thick books. The bindings were rough

34:30

and you can tell they were

34:32

10 years old minimum. Why? So

34:35

she starts to show me some

34:37

recent pictures and I'm thinking this

34:39

is a bit odd. But try

34:42

and brush it off. She's thriving

34:44

on Instagram right now. They're like.

34:47

Oh, you're absolutely right. They may

34:49

have invented Instagram. My face wasn't

34:51

for them. They needed a more

34:54

photo based social media platform. Exactly.

34:56

Cassie, I'm fucking dead. You're so

34:58

right. I'm thinking this is a

35:01

bit odd and try it brush

35:03

it off because she's referencing people

35:05

she has mentioned before. But it

35:08

doesn't stop. It keeps going. There's

35:10

a little story or anecdote with

35:13

each picture. Oh my God, what

35:15

are we going to be here

35:17

for fucking three years? It's so

35:20

weird. It's just very weird. As

35:22

someone who actually loves looking at

35:24

other people's like photo albums and

35:27

stuff. I don't, on a first,

35:29

like this is just strange. It's

35:31

not like it's your third date

35:34

and you're in their apartment and

35:36

they're talking about their family. Like

35:38

this is like a first date,

35:41

where are you? You're in a

35:43

fucking like cheddars, like just looking

35:46

through photo albums? Through like, oh

35:48

my God. I find myself having

35:50

nothing to add in response, especially

35:53

as we get into extended family

35:55

pictures and much older pictures of

35:57

people in her family. She gets

36:00

to the second book. I quickly

36:02

realize they are all pictures from

36:04

her family that took place before

36:07

she was even born. Oh, it

36:09

might be 40 years of pictures.

36:12

I'm losing my mind. No other

36:14

conversation is happening other than her

36:16

explained picture taken before her birth.

36:19

That's it finally ends. I drop

36:21

her off at home and she

36:23

legit goes for a kiss. I

36:26

shit you not. I somehow maneuvered

36:28

it into being a slight kiss

36:30

on the cheek and a big

36:33

I rushed home removed her from

36:35

every friends list I had at

36:38

that time and we never spoke

36:40

again. Oh no. What do you

36:42

guys think? Like what I mean

36:45

it's a strategy that had to

36:47

be someone that is so nervous

36:49

they wouldn't have anything to talk

36:52

about on the first date. Girl

36:54

you were reading my mind because

36:56

I definitely had dates where I

36:59

was like we're not going to

37:01

have anything to talk about. I

37:03

need to preload the state with

37:06

like... I don't know. Can I

37:08

see 19 year old me being

37:11

like, look at these really cool

37:13

pictures of my dad when he

37:15

was in the Navy. And I

37:18

don't know. Let me pull up

37:20

ancestry.com real quick. Do you want

37:22

to look at my family tree?

37:25

Like no, like listen, I find

37:27

that stuff interesting, like genealogy and

37:29

stuff. I do. I find it

37:32

interesting. In no way would I

37:34

be like, do you want to

37:37

see pictures of my great great

37:39

great grandpa? Like on a first

37:41

date? I do. But like when

37:44

it comes up naturally in conversation,

37:46

or you know, you're right. Coming

37:48

preloaded with that like that. Like

37:51

at what point during the date?

37:53

Like you're what hour and a

37:55

half in of looking into like

37:58

hearing. about their entire family? At

38:00

what point are you just like,

38:03

excuse me, why are we doing

38:05

this? Like, can we? This was

38:07

my great Aunt Julia. She lived

38:10

in Fall River, Massachusetts. Great. Cool.

38:12

Okay. What? It's so awkward. It's

38:14

so awkward. Yeah, you don't have

38:17

a lot of conversation to add

38:19

to that. No. Because it's not

38:21

your family. You don't know these

38:24

people. You barely even know the

38:26

person that's showing you the fucking

38:28

pictures. photo albums. You went through

38:31

two photo albums. And what did

38:33

you learn about him? Because nothing.

38:36

Nothing. Nothing. That's part of it

38:38

too. I mean, it's just a

38:40

presentation. Right, she's not talking about

38:43

herself the whole time, but it

38:45

is equivalent to talking about yourself

38:47

the whole time. Yes. You know,

38:50

because you're not asking them anything

38:52

about their family, you know, you're

38:54

just talking about your shit. She

38:57

don't care about. She brought like

38:59

a third grade family project with

39:02

her to present to him on

39:04

their date. That's what happened. Like

39:06

this isn't even like, oh my

39:09

God. You know what? Nowadays it's

39:11

probably, she's made a power point.

39:13

like she's she's leaving the the

39:16

photo albums at home just clicking

39:18

through that PowerPoint. I know you're

39:20

right though I would actually like

39:23

look at her Instagram she like

39:25

uploaded each of those old pictures

39:27

and then had like family stories

39:30

under it's kind of cool I'd

39:32

be like I do I love

39:35

all pictures yeah yeah yeah I

39:37

feel like this is probably life,

39:39

dating life, because then she had

39:42

an outlet for these things where

39:44

she could share these things and

39:46

it didn't have to end up

39:49

on a first date. She could

39:51

just send people to her for

39:53

her Instagram page and be like,

39:56

here is this, you know. I'm

39:58

reading this as they were both

40:01

pretty young and I truly do

40:03

think that she was just like.

40:05

So nervous and didn't think she

40:08

was gonna have anything to talk

40:10

about. I mean, it's a very

40:12

strange strategy, but yeah, I feel

40:15

for her, but yeah, yeah, like

40:17

you and we, you gotta. It's

40:19

not, that's not the way. It's

40:22

not the way. Yeah, a backpack.

40:24

But what would be your equivalent?

40:27

Like I do feel like anxious

40:29

me. You know if I was

40:31

like really really nervous and didn't

40:34

know what to talk about we

40:36

could end up in a place

40:38

where I'm showing you pictures of

40:41

my cat. I know what mine

40:43

is. You know what I mean?

40:45

Mine is is movie quotes from

40:48

like mine is a I've preloaded

40:50

the deck with like, like movie

40:52

croats from like Super Troopers and

40:55

like Zoolander. Oh God. Yeah, no,

40:57

I'm, I'm, that's me. Like, and

41:00

then I'm like, oh great, we

41:02

have this similar sense of humor

41:04

because I'm also a 12 year

41:07

old boy. And so, yeah. I

41:09

know what mine is. I get

41:11

like. Super, super self-deprecating. I start

41:14

making, I just go like spiral

41:16

down, make self-deprecating comments and more

41:18

and more because I'm trying to

41:21

get them to like laugh, but

41:23

then it's like, it gets a

41:26

little too awkward. So yeah, that's

41:28

my awkward Christina move. For sure.

41:30

These all feel right. These feel

41:33

right. Like, you know, I'm like,

41:35

let me open up my Matilda

41:37

folder. I show you. Here she

41:40

is sleeping on my lap. Here

41:42

she is sleeping on my shoulder.

41:44

Here she is in the windows.

41:47

Oh my god. Isn't she so

41:49

cute? Here look at this. Isn't

41:52

she so cute? Look how cute

41:54

she is. Look at her tongue

41:56

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41:59

at this one. They're like, okay.

42:01

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And we're back. Please cut that

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Thomas, please. And we're back. Wow.

43:09

I have the change I love

43:12

this week. And I did similar

43:14

to what I did last time,

43:17

which is it was a recent

43:19

event that I heard. through like

43:21

just pieces and bits and didn't

43:24

really fully understand or know the

43:26

whole story. So I was interested

43:28

to find out and dig a

43:31

little deeper into this. You guys

43:33

will know this 100% because it

43:35

was big news. I'm gonna talk

43:38

about the Tiktok star murders. Okay,

43:40

yeah, there was a documentary on

43:42

Peacock and I watched it. Okay,

43:45

okay. And I highly recommend it.

43:47

One of the things I really

43:50

liked about it is that of

43:52

course, like her friends were involved

43:54

and they interviewed, you know, friends,

43:57

family, things like this, but they

43:59

also very importantly had a psychologist

44:01

on there kind of speaking to

44:04

like some of the psychological aspects

44:06

of this and, you know, like

44:08

what that. you know, could entail.

44:11

So it was really, really interesting.

44:13

That plus, you know, there was

44:16

numerous stories. People Rolling Stone had

44:18

many articles about it as well.

44:20

So those will all be in

44:23

the show notes on our website.

44:25

But this story is about. Ali

44:27

for he is. pretty famous Tiktoker.

44:30

I don't know if you would

44:32

recognize him right off the bat,

44:34

but let me kind of share

44:37

who he was on Tiktok. He

44:39

actually started more off doing Instagram

44:42

and YouTubes, so he'd been doing

44:44

it before Tiktok came around, but

44:46

he really garnered fame, you know.

44:49

through his medium. He actually grew

44:51

up in Virginia in a very

44:53

religious Muslim household. He was a

44:56

bit of a black sheep in

44:58

the family. He always like people

45:00

would describe him as like always

45:03

like the character. He always was

45:05

like dancing and singing and kind

45:07

of this lively just a real

45:10

character like you know always kind

45:12

of You know just

45:14

silly just a silly I light

45:17

up the room with a Molotov

45:19

cocktail exactly yes exactly and He

45:21

actually joined the Air Force right

45:23

out of high school and ended

45:25

up being stationed in Okinawa So

45:27

he he was um, you know,

45:30

he was a bit of the

45:32

black sheep like I said and

45:34

I think probably didn't maybe lacked

45:36

a little bit of direction. And

45:38

so I think probably joining the

45:40

Air Force is a good move

45:43

for somebody who's, you know, maybe

45:45

lacking direction doesn't know what they

45:47

want to do with their lives

45:49

at the time. And Okinawa is

45:51

a very common station for people

45:53

who join the military. My dad

45:55

was stationed there. Oh, see? Yeah.

45:58

One of my high school best

46:00

friends. or high school, elementary school

46:02

best friends moved from Vegas to

46:04

Okinawa. Yeah, because your dad was

46:06

in the Air Force. Yeah, it's

46:08

a big, big base. There's a

46:11

lot of, yeah, it's a very

46:13

common base for many people to

46:15

go to. I know that even

46:17

one of my good friends in

46:19

my 20s, same, like, I think

46:21

everybody probably knows somebody who was

46:24

Asian to Okinawa. Yeah. So anyway,

46:26

Anna. His soon-to-be wife grew up

46:28

in Okinawa. She was a Filipino

46:30

descent and her father was actually

46:32

stationed there They met in 2014

46:34

And Ali at the time was

46:37

actually not just in the military,

46:39

but he was a singer in

46:41

a band. It's you know, mr.

46:43

entertainer, you know, and he was

46:45

actually doing really well in the

46:47

military moving up and at this

46:50

point you know, kind of rocking

46:52

his career and just having some

46:54

fun on the side. But that

46:56

started to kind of unravel when

46:58

one night when he was out

47:00

with Ali, he got into a

47:03

drunken ball or with Anna. He

47:05

was out, had gotten to like

47:07

this drunken ball with one of

47:09

Anna's friends. And of course, the

47:11

military is like, nah, no, thank

47:13

you. Can't be doing that. Nope.

47:16

And they kicked him out. Oh

47:18

shit. Yeah, he got discharged. I

47:20

feel like the Air Force doesn't

47:22

fuck around with shit like that.

47:24

That's just my vibe. It's like

47:26

maybe like some of the other

47:29

branches might like look the other

47:31

way for stuff like that, but

47:33

the Air Force is like not

47:35

not here. No. No, thank you.

47:37

Take it elsewhere. Yeah, maybe the

47:39

Navy sucks around with that. Yeah,

47:42

exactly. We deal in planes. Okay.

47:44

Come on, grow up. Yeah, exactly.

47:46

But I mean, you know, a

47:48

drunken brawl, like, yeah, they're not

47:50

playing around, so they discharged him

47:52

from the military, and of course

47:55

he was kicked out of Okinawa.

47:57

He returns to Virginia around that

47:59

same time, Anna's family is actually

48:01

moving back to the Philippines, because,

48:03

you know, his, his, her mom.

48:05

or her dad was being moved

48:08

back. And so Anna in the

48:10

Philippines discovers that she's actually pregnant

48:12

with Ali's baby. And oh boy.

48:14

Yeah. So it's like, oh. Ali

48:16

applies for a marriage visa to

48:18

bring Anna to the US so

48:21

that they can be together. It

48:23

takes. quite a long time. These

48:25

things do not come through very

48:27

quickly. And from what some of

48:29

her friends were saying, and some

48:31

of those who were from the

48:34

Philippines as well, we're saying that

48:36

it's quite difficult to get a

48:38

marriage visa to go through. By

48:40

the time that it actually came

48:42

through, their daughter, Amira, was nine

48:44

months old. So she found out

48:47

early in her pregnancy. Like I

48:49

think she was only like two

48:51

months pregnant, found out very quickly.

48:53

And so that whole pregnancy and

48:55

then nine months after so it

48:57

was quite a while before they

48:59

were able to, you know, fully

49:02

come together and it's around 2017

49:04

that the family, she, you know,

49:06

they've moved to Virginia, she's moved

49:08

there to be with him. The

49:10

family decides to move to Northern

49:12

Virginia to be closer to Ali's

49:15

family. Both are... very creative types.

49:17

Anna's cousin even says that it

49:19

seemed like they were a match

49:21

made in heaven. They're both creatives.

49:23

They're both kind of characters. They

49:25

both bring a lot of fun

49:28

to the table and have really

49:30

good energy. Ali starts to produce

49:32

online content for Instagram and YouTube

49:34

under the handle at Jin Kid.

49:36

Have you heard of him? Jin

49:38

Kid. It's J-I-N-N-K-I-D. No, I remember

49:41

when this happened, this crime happened

49:43

because I remember it was all

49:45

over TikTok, but no, I'm not

49:47

familiar with him. Yeah, I actually,

49:49

it's like, it's funny because I

49:51

see, like I kind of remember

49:54

some of those Instagram content from

49:56

back in the day. like I

49:58

just kind of like I feel

50:00

like if you saw it you

50:02

would like oh that guy you

50:04

know maybe yeah yeah yeah yeah

50:07

but he started to create like

50:09

a new fan base he started

50:11

doing tic-tocks and he's certain that

50:13

this is actually like a path

50:15

to fame for him like he

50:17

could really take this and ride

50:20

the wave, you know, because he's

50:22

really becoming successful. I mean, and

50:24

you can, you can become so

50:26

successful in this arena. Like, it's

50:28

definitely possible. Anna starts to film

50:30

and star in some of his

50:33

TikTok videos. Ali's videos are really

50:35

starting to get notice, but he

50:37

wants to take his engagement to

50:39

the next level. And that's when

50:41

he decides to hire someone to

50:43

help him manage his content. They

50:46

make more videos about the game

50:48

Skyroom. And these are kind of,

50:50

and they're honestly, they are admittedly

50:52

funny because they're kind of like

50:54

him like walking into a wall,

50:56

you know, like we're moving a

50:59

chair. It's very much that way.

51:01

Oh my god. I have to

51:03

tell you, so we watched the

51:05

strangest movie last night. It was

51:07

called Grand Theft Hamlet. It was

51:09

about. It was a couple of

51:12

British guys in Grand Theft Auto

51:14

who found like an amphitheater and

51:16

they decided to put on a

51:18

production of hamlet inside yes inside

51:20

the game Grand Theft Auto and

51:22

so all it is is like

51:25

their avatars like performing Shakespeare monologues

51:27

they hold auditions the whole nine

51:29

yards no way so fucking funny

51:31

I was dying laughing. It was

51:33

one of the best things I've

51:35

ever seen. It's just two British

51:38

guys trying to do it within

51:40

Grand Theft Auto and then people

51:42

start to get excited and like

51:44

come and audition for them. Oh

51:46

my God. It's so brilliant. Yeah.

51:48

Oh my God, that's so funny.

51:51

But you know, like so you

51:53

know that like action the movement

51:55

is so tilted and it's like

51:57

hilarious and it's like moving like

51:59

moving in in kind of like

52:01

a slow wobbley motion of like

52:04

constant movement it's like choose character

52:06

you know yeah yeah that whole

52:08

thing so and like I said

52:10

they're admittedly it's very funny and

52:12

this is one of the videos

52:14

that really gets him to kind

52:16

of go viral. It's like a

52:19

real viral moment for him. His

52:21

videos and account are starting to

52:23

blow up. He's getting like, you

52:25

know, other content creators to like

52:27

comment, like they're losing their mind.

52:29

This is so hilarious. This guy

52:32

is so funny. And his favorite

52:34

movie is Scarface and he does

52:36

a lot of impressions of like

52:38

Tony Montana, he does character impressions

52:40

of like Nicholas Cage characters, he

52:42

does John Wick. So he's like

52:45

he does a lot of this

52:47

kind of joking character things and

52:49

it's funny like one of them

52:51

is a video like where he

52:53

sends like his it's like threatens

52:55

his sister's new boyfriend as Tony

52:58

Montana, he's like a few of

53:00

a, you know, and it's just

53:02

kind of like almost like. if

53:04

you know if john wick had

53:06

a job in real life it's

53:08

that kind of funny yeah you

53:11

know like skit exactly and would

53:13

would scarface be on your list

53:15

of red flag favorite movies yeah

53:17

right i feel like i feel

53:19

like it would be for me

53:21

too tough because It's a good

53:24

movie. Yeah, good fellows is one

53:26

of mine. And I think that

53:28

like that could be a pretty

53:30

good fellows too. I do. But

53:32

I love good fellows. That's one

53:34

of my favorites. But Scarface is

53:37

a good movie. It's just like

53:39

there are certain movies, whether they're

53:41

good or not. It just makes

53:43

me be like, why do you

53:45

like that? Like we need to

53:47

just go one level deeper. You

53:50

know what I mean? Like if

53:52

you tell. Tell me that American

53:54

Psycho is your favorite movie, we

53:56

need to have a conversation. No,

53:58

I think we're done. Do you

54:00

understand like the commentary that's being

54:03

made here? And that's why you

54:05

like it? Or is it for

54:07

another reason? You know? Right. Flight

54:09

club. The best movie ever made.

54:11

Bike Club. Yeah, like these are

54:13

just, you know, just, it's not

54:16

a deal breaker. It's just my

54:18

ears are going to go beep.

54:20

Here is one of my favorite

54:22

movies that I think might be

54:24

a red flag for you guys.

54:26

Full Metal Jacket. I

54:29

love Kubrick and full metal jacket

54:31

is my favorite. With that red

54:33

flag, you guys. For you? For

54:36

you? No. What if I was

54:38

the guy version of me? Maybe.

54:40

A male aries? Whose favorite movie

54:43

is full metal jacket? Yeah, I'm

54:45

like, no, I don't know. I

54:47

just need to ask a couple

54:50

more, I got some follow-ups. And

54:52

loves, Terrentino? Oh God, yeah. I'm

54:54

worried. I'm worried. I'm worried. I

54:56

would not date me. I will

54:59

tell you, I think like if

55:01

your favorite movie, like unironically, and

55:03

you're a man. For me where

55:06

I'd be like I don't know

55:08

if you're getting a second day

55:10

with natural born killers like if

55:13

you're like natural born killers is

55:15

my favorite movie I'm like you

55:17

know I just and this is

55:20

just a personal thing but I'm

55:22

like I I don't know if

55:24

there's enough follow-up questions in the

55:26

world for me like I can

55:29

get around that California's way better

55:31

I've never seen California I know

55:33

I Well, I think she's adding

55:36

it to the tainted love movie

55:38

list right now. Yeah, it's it's

55:40

already on there, but I'll move

55:43

it up. All right, so anyway,

55:45

yeah, his favorite movie Scarface, he

55:47

does all these like skip videos.

55:50

Basically, you can see why his

55:52

content is becoming popular. He is

55:54

funny, like he's got like a

55:56

good personality and it's really like,

55:59

you know, not in so like

56:01

hindsight where you're just like, huh.

56:03

How much of these personas were

56:06

bled? You know leading into reality.

56:08

Gen Kid becomes verified and this

56:10

is a huge step for him.

56:13

Becoming verified on TikTok at the

56:15

time. Like, you know, this is

56:17

like, you know, 2018, 2017. Yeah,

56:20

yeah. Got it on the ground

56:22

floor. Yes, this is real verified

56:24

checkmark stuff. Like you're so big

56:26

that people might try to. imitate

56:29

you or stew of your videos.

56:31

So having a verification is important

56:33

and it was such a big

56:36

deal and it really kind of

56:38

made his online presence more legit

56:40

and his follower increase dramatically. He

56:43

went from hundreds of thousands of

56:45

followers to millions of followers and

56:47

you know this is not anything

56:50

to laugh at. This is, you're

56:52

taking someone into now career level

56:55

of followership because now you're gonna.

56:57

And money too. That's exactly the

56:59

point. Exactly. So your opportunities are

57:01

opening up, you're gonna get like

57:04

businesses asking you to, you know,

57:06

represent them. And this is a

57:08

fucking huge deal. This is money,

57:11

money, money, money, right? But with

57:13

that. also increases the pressure to

57:15

maintain, that's needed to maintain, this

57:17

kind of level of content, right?

57:20

To produce, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And

57:22

Anna's followership, because, you know, she

57:24

plays, you know, some bit parts

57:27

and some of his skits, and,

57:29

you know, if she films him

57:31

and then, you know, you can

57:33

kind of hear her laughing in

57:36

the background of some videos, like

57:38

she becomes, like, like, a bit

57:40

of a side. you know, famous

57:42

because of his content and, you

57:45

know, her followership is growing quite

57:47

a bit as well, as well

57:49

as her image is becoming more

57:52

and more important. During COVID, you

57:54

know, this is like around 2019,

57:56

2020, Anna's. You know, followership is

57:58

growing. She's doing skits with friends

58:01

like across the country. You know,

58:03

she's living in Virginia. She's friends

58:05

living in San Diego and they'll

58:07

like put like videos together where

58:10

like she's doing something and it's

58:12

it's cute like but it's trying

58:14

so hard to like get this

58:17

like. You know, it's such a lonely time,

58:19

we all know, right? It was such a

58:21

lonely time, and if you're not already not

58:23

close, living close to people you know, it's

58:25

just your husband's family, you're from another country,

58:27

you know what I mean? Like, it's not,

58:29

you don't have a lot of people to

58:31

support you, right? You're pretty isolated,

58:33

and then on top of it, COVID,

58:35

extra isolating, and by the time that

58:38

COVID restrictions started to left, she was

58:40

really, really, really, really, really, really, really,

58:42

really, really, really, really, really, really,

58:44

really, really, really, down and she

58:46

was like I really want to

58:49

kind of escape this you

58:51

know Ali world you know it's

58:53

Ali's family it's Ali's life

58:55

it's Ali's career everything right

58:57

Ali's baby yeah it's a

58:59

lot it's a lot and

59:01

so Anna decides to take

59:03

she went to take a

59:05

trip to San Diego this

59:07

is where a lot of

59:09

her past friends live people from

59:11

Okinawa. Again, it's a military city,

59:14

so it makes a lot of

59:16

sense. So some of her friends

59:18

from Okinawa had lived there. Some

59:20

of her Filipino friends are living

59:22

there. So she's got like a

59:24

little bit of a friend base

59:26

there. It decides to go out and

59:28

take a vacation and enjoy some girl

59:30

time. And she does. But when she's

59:33

there, she falls in love with the

59:35

city. And she's like, San Diego is

59:37

Werta. is where we belong. It's a

59:39

fucking beautiful city. I can totally relate.

59:41

I love it there too. I love

59:44

San Diego. Oh, it's great. And honestly,

59:46

when I was in my 20s, especially

59:48

when I was single, I was like,

59:50

yeah, I could see myself in San

59:52

Diego. The vibes in San Diego are

59:54

so like chill. It gives you

59:56

that very like California beach surf

59:58

foam. Yeah, vibe. Absolutely. And

1:00:01

in 2020, Ali actually agrees. He's

1:00:03

like, you know, this move, you

1:00:05

know, he, she's like, goes home,

1:00:07

she's like, Ali, we really need

1:00:10

to move to San Diego. He

1:00:12

agrees. He's like, it actually might

1:00:14

be a really good opportunity to

1:00:17

be, you know, he can branch

1:00:19

out of the tick-talk world into,

1:00:21

you know, Who knows what else?

1:00:24

His main goal, I think, at

1:00:26

this point in his life is

1:00:28

to become famous. He wants to

1:00:30

be a movie star. He wants

1:00:33

to go further into acting. This

1:00:35

is definitely where he can see

1:00:37

himself. They moved to a beautiful

1:00:40

downtown San Diego high-rise building. And

1:00:42

this is a great way, of

1:00:44

course, you know, this beautiful building,

1:00:46

beautiful life, beautiful family. This is

1:00:49

perfect TikTok fodder, right? Like, perfect

1:00:51

life, perfect wife, perfect family, beautiful,

1:00:53

you know, beautiful people, beautiful city,

1:00:56

you know, it's giving every TikTok

1:00:58

vibe you can imagine. Soon after

1:01:00

they move, Ali actually starts to

1:01:02

book gigs in the Los Angeles

1:01:05

Comedy Club. He's always wanted this

1:01:07

fame and he's really kind of

1:01:09

starting to feel like his dreams

1:01:12

are about to come true, right?

1:01:14

But fame kind of becomes a

1:01:16

drug for him. And once you

1:01:18

kind of achieve this level, and

1:01:21

especially to, I mean, he has

1:01:23

millions of TikTok followers. You go

1:01:25

to a place like, like, Los

1:01:28

Angeles, where people are always trying

1:01:30

to be spotting quote-unquote celebrities. You're

1:01:32

at a, you know, comedy club.

1:01:35

He's signing autographs for the first

1:01:37

time in his life. People are

1:01:39

recognizing him. I can't imagine what

1:01:41

it does to your brain, even

1:01:44

without that, even without the like,

1:01:46

like, being in public and people

1:01:48

recognizing you, just knowing that there

1:01:51

are millions of people watching you

1:01:53

all the time. I can't imagine

1:01:55

what that does. Yeah, like it

1:01:57

has to rewire something, you know?

1:02:00

Truly. And also, I mean, I

1:02:02

think being ethnic and growing up

1:02:04

in Virginia and probably, you know,

1:02:07

like not fitting the normal, like

1:02:09

Muslim, a traditional like Muslim. Yeah,

1:02:11

exactly. There's got to be some

1:02:13

of that like now they want

1:02:16

me kind of. vibe to it

1:02:18

too. You know what I mean?

1:02:20

Like I'll show them? Yeah, a

1:02:23

little bit. You know, like I

1:02:25

was like other in school and

1:02:27

so sometimes I get a little

1:02:29

bit of that like when I

1:02:32

was in my 20s or 30s

1:02:34

and like, well, they want me

1:02:36

now, you know, I can imagine

1:02:39

that on a grander scale being

1:02:41

absolutely being a little bit more

1:02:43

for sure. Absolutely, it surely can

1:02:46

go to your head. And again,

1:02:48

this is why I was saying

1:02:50

this documentary was actually really good

1:02:52

because you do have this psychologist

1:02:55

who is kind of describing like

1:02:57

what that can do to your

1:02:59

mental state and how it can

1:03:02

affect, you know. I'm sure he's

1:03:04

getting DMs and comments from chicks

1:03:06

all the time. Yeah. Your ego

1:03:08

has to be so inflated. And

1:03:11

it would take a very special

1:03:13

person for that not to... Wreck

1:03:15

them. I mean, if you see,

1:03:18

I mean, I even look at

1:03:20

that, what's that guy, the comedian

1:03:22

who's not that funny, who kind

1:03:24

of blew up, did his face

1:03:27

and shit. Oh, Matt, right. Yeah,

1:03:29

yeah. Like kind of started off

1:03:31

being funny, funny guy, and then

1:03:34

it kind of was like, gross,

1:03:36

dude, just really took a turn,

1:03:38

but you're like, you can see

1:03:41

like the facial work and stuff

1:03:43

that he's done. It's like. It's

1:03:45

hard not to. Yeah, it's hard

1:03:47

not to. I mean, I even

1:03:50

think about when we don't have

1:03:52

millions of listeners, but I even

1:03:54

remember when we were doing video

1:03:57

for the first time and how

1:03:59

like, like, weird it is to

1:04:01

see yourself. And it's hard not

1:04:03

to be like, oh, I should

1:04:06

do this thing or that thing,

1:04:08

or I need to get better

1:04:10

makeup, or I need to get

1:04:13

Botox, or I need to, you

1:04:15

know, whatever, just like seeing yourself.

1:04:17

I get it, why people, it's

1:04:19

a very slippery slope once you

1:04:22

start with that stuff when you're

1:04:24

looking at yourself all the time

1:04:26

and you're being criticized all the

1:04:29

time and there are strangers who

1:04:31

have opinions about you and, you

1:04:33

know, like. I mean that rife

1:04:35

is shitty but like yeah. I

1:04:38

get that aspect of it to

1:04:40

a degree you know. Yeah yeah

1:04:42

it's easy to fall into kind

1:04:45

of those traps that you kind

1:04:47

of end up setting for yourself

1:04:49

and it's hard to recognize them

1:04:52

you know and and once you

1:04:54

have that level of recognition it's

1:04:56

hard to let that go you

1:04:58

know like you've reached a plateau

1:05:01

and you hear actors and actresses

1:05:03

talk about this a lot you

1:05:05

know Ellie's hard. And you're only

1:05:08

as good as the next gig,

1:05:10

right? It's a hustler town where

1:05:12

you're constantly hustling for the next

1:05:14

thing. Being compared. Yes. Yeah. And

1:05:17

you're always struggling for the next

1:05:19

thing. Nothing's guaranteed. Nothing is written.

1:05:21

So you don't know. Like you

1:05:24

don't know what, you know, you

1:05:26

could be relevant one day and

1:05:28

not the next. So it's just.

1:05:30

It's a hard tough game and

1:05:33

you have to really thick skin

1:05:35

to deal with that on social

1:05:37

media especially like yeah if you're

1:05:40

a social media star I feel

1:05:42

like your skin needs to be

1:05:44

like tough as nails dude yeah

1:05:46

yeah I don't think I could

1:05:49

handle that level of potential criticism

1:05:51

now I look like somebody at

1:05:53

like drew a fallow and I'm

1:05:56

like she's got to be one

1:05:58

of the strongest badest bitches out

1:06:00

there because the amount of shit

1:06:03

that she has to put up

1:06:05

with on a day-to-day basis all

1:06:07

those comments and just the ability

1:06:09

to brush it off and just

1:06:12

be like this shit doesn't matter

1:06:14

these people don't know and that

1:06:16

doesn't matter. Yeah, not really. Yeah.

1:06:19

We gotta know yourself really well

1:06:21

and you gotta be like, yeah,

1:06:23

I'm the badest bitch, I know

1:06:25

I'm the badest bitch and I

1:06:28

don't, you know. You gotta light

1:06:30

up the room like a Molotov

1:06:32

cocktail. That's right. And like me,

1:06:35

thrive when people give hate. I'm

1:06:37

like. Please numb numb numb numb

1:06:39

numb numb numb. Do you Cassie?

1:06:41

Oh fuck yeah. Oh man. I'm

1:06:44

a sensitive little bird. I know

1:06:46

because you're my baby Aries and

1:06:48

I love you so much. Picy.

1:06:51

That's what I said. Picy's. Picy's.

1:06:53

I just like avoid I'm just

1:06:55

like nope. It's not if it's

1:06:58

not there. Didn't happen. Didn't see

1:07:00

it didn't happen. I am like

1:07:02

oh you like that? Okay. That's

1:07:04

true. I am the worst person

1:07:07

to come for, because I just,

1:07:09

it kind of gives me more

1:07:11

of an ego stroke than. Because

1:07:14

they're thinking about you. They're thinking

1:07:16

about me. I'm living in your

1:07:18

brain bitch. You're like negative attention,

1:07:20

still attention. I was adopted. Give

1:07:23

me more. So yeah, no. At

1:07:25

any rate. Like I said, San

1:07:27

Diego really was a good move

1:07:30

for them. But Ali really, you

1:07:32

know, famous fickle, you know, and

1:07:34

there's a level of control you

1:07:36

lose over your image and you've

1:07:39

been able to control your narrative

1:07:41

so specifically for so long because

1:07:43

you're the person producing, person who's

1:07:46

been pushing out. Whatever message you

1:07:48

want people to see and I

1:07:50

think this is what's so important

1:07:52

about this story It's like you

1:07:55

have a perceived notion of what

1:07:57

people's lives are like especially when

1:07:59

they create content on a very

1:08:02

regular basis That they live this

1:08:04

beautiful perfect life. They have a

1:08:06

beautiful perfect wife husband spouse or

1:08:09

whatever, they have this beautiful home,

1:08:11

and it's a mirage. Social media

1:08:13

is, yeah, such bullshit like that.

1:08:15

Like, and not even just for

1:08:18

celebrities, it's just like, it's part

1:08:20

of what makes it hard for

1:08:22

me to be on there. You

1:08:25

know, like as far as someone

1:08:27

who's actively posting things, because it

1:08:29

just feels inauthentic in so many

1:08:31

ways, you know. And the more

1:08:34

you find out that, the worse

1:08:36

it is, you know. And it's

1:08:38

kind of. It gives that everybody's

1:08:41

got opinions, opinions are like assholes,

1:08:43

right? Everybody's got one. And it's

1:08:45

just that like now you see

1:08:47

everybody's asshole. It's a lot, right?

1:08:50

But again, San Diego initially, beautiful

1:08:52

move, Ali's becoming, you know, you

1:08:54

know, getting some more opportunities, but

1:08:57

also too, as he's seemingly, it

1:08:59

feels like he's losing control of

1:09:01

a lot. You know something he's

1:09:03

had so much control over he

1:09:06

had so much control over their

1:09:08

lives when they're in Virginia Right

1:09:10

the only people they're surrounded by

1:09:13

is his family really You know

1:09:15

his friends his family his life

1:09:17

his you know and he can

1:09:20

control every aspect of that whereas

1:09:22

in San Diego Anna has friends

1:09:24

Anna has a network Anna has

1:09:26

a network Anna has a no

1:09:29

no yeah, so you know all

1:09:31

this control that he was able

1:09:33

to you know, suppose upon her

1:09:36

like is not really there anymore.

1:09:38

You know, of course, you know,

1:09:40

he's got also just like, it

1:09:42

feels like there's a lot of

1:09:45

control issues, right? Not having as

1:09:47

much control over maybe the messaging

1:09:49

that gets to go out versus

1:09:52

also not getting as much control

1:09:54

over his family life. He's starting

1:09:56

to unravel a little bit, right?

1:09:58

He is losing some of this

1:10:01

control over Anna. She does have

1:10:03

friends. She can. and have those

1:10:05

friends. She can go out. She's

1:10:08

posting videos with her friends. And

1:10:10

now she has somebody to post

1:10:12

videos with, like her friends. And

1:10:14

those videos don't include Ali. So,

1:10:17

you know, he has, you know,

1:10:19

he's starting to feel like, I

1:10:21

probably bet, like, not as needed

1:10:24

anymore, you know? Yeah. I mean,

1:10:26

it feels like that's a small

1:10:28

person. Yeah, you can't handle their

1:10:31

partner having a life outside of

1:10:33

them. Of course. A perception. I

1:10:35

don't think there's anything more unattractive

1:10:37

to me than a man who

1:10:40

can't handle his partner's success. You

1:10:42

know what I mean? Yeah. Like

1:10:44

I remember having to apologize or

1:10:47

make my my wins smaller to

1:10:49

make to make a partner. feel

1:10:51

better about their own life and

1:10:53

it is a terrible feeling. Minimize

1:10:56

your wins. Yeah, absolutely. I started

1:10:58

the Gabby potato documentary series. There

1:11:00

you go. And I just started

1:11:03

it because the first episode made

1:11:05

me so fucking mad. And if

1:11:07

you've ever had a relationship like

1:11:09

that, it is so triggering. But

1:11:12

you definitely feel that way. It's

1:11:14

like she's constantly, and I've been

1:11:16

in relationships like this, where you're

1:11:19

like you are constantly apologizing for,

1:11:21

you know, their insecurities, their sensitivity,

1:11:23

like they're constantly trying to make

1:11:26

like, you know, she wanted to

1:11:28

do this van life thing. And

1:11:30

he went along with it and

1:11:32

smiled in all their videos, but.

1:11:35

behind the scenes kind of like

1:11:37

resented her didn't think she told

1:11:39

her she wouldn't be successful at

1:11:42

it like stuff like that just

1:11:44

always trying to like cut cut

1:11:46

you down cut you know and

1:11:48

and it's a control thing it's

1:11:51

an insecurity thing it's a you

1:11:53

know I need to they're too

1:11:55

good for me I feel deep

1:11:58

down, like they're too good for

1:12:00

me, so I need to make

1:12:02

them feel small and worthless so

1:12:04

that they won't leave me. And

1:12:07

it's a really sad thing that

1:12:09

I feel like a lot of

1:12:11

people end up in, you know,

1:12:14

at one time or another in

1:12:16

their lives. I think there's definitely

1:12:18

some of that in this case

1:12:20

as well. You know, a perception

1:12:23

of yourself becomes so inflated, right?

1:12:25

Like constantly being told how great

1:12:27

you are, you know, you're constantly

1:12:30

being, you know, told, oh my

1:12:32

God, you're so funny, you're so

1:12:34

this, you're so that you start

1:12:37

to believe the hype, right? Like

1:12:39

people, you know, million followers. And

1:12:41

you want that adulation at home

1:12:43

too. Right. So if she's not

1:12:46

giving him that same kind of

1:12:48

adoration that he feels like. at

1:12:50

the fee of their partner all

1:12:53

the time, nor what I want

1:12:55

them to. Like I want them

1:12:57

to like me and like and

1:12:59

encourage me and tell me I'm

1:13:02

pretty, but like I don't want

1:13:04

them to be this adoring internet

1:13:06

stand. Yeah, like at home, you

1:13:09

know, but I think some people

1:13:11

feel like they deserve that because

1:13:13

they're getting it all the time

1:13:15

and they're like, well, why wouldn't

1:13:18

my partner be, you know, Why

1:13:20

don't they think that the sun

1:13:22

rises and falls by me? Right.

1:13:25

Why do they want to go

1:13:27

hang out with other people? Why

1:13:29

do they want to go do

1:13:31

their own thing? Why? Why would

1:13:34

they want to? You know? But

1:13:36

again, because of this kind of

1:13:38

perception warping that's happening, you know,

1:13:41

his brand is really starting to

1:13:43

kind of blur lines, right? Ali

1:13:45

and Anna are... Living it up

1:13:48

in San Diego though, right? Ali

1:13:50

is they're going out partying like

1:13:52

on the weekends They're having fun.

1:13:54

They're going dancing and Ali starts

1:13:57

to use cocaine Yeah, yeah, that's

1:13:59

always good for Yeah, especially situations.

1:14:01

Yeah, great for those situations. I

1:14:04

feel like when cocaine comes into

1:14:06

the picture in any of these

1:14:08

stories, it's like, uh, turning point.

1:14:10

Yeah. Every time you're like, oh

1:14:13

no. Oh, volatility added to the

1:14:15

picture. Great. That's the kind of

1:14:17

thing that makes you pick up

1:14:20

a chainsaw at a conference and

1:14:22

wave it around. Oh, what? I

1:14:24

don't know about it later. Oh

1:14:26

God. I'm like, I can't wait

1:14:29

to hear this story. Sidebar though,

1:14:31

I know that things are about

1:14:33

to get real dark in this

1:14:36

story, but Sidebar, can we girls

1:14:38

trip to San Diego sometime? Because

1:14:40

I think that did fun. Yeah,

1:14:42

for sure. I love San Diego,

1:14:45

it's fun time for sure. Ali

1:14:47

is so disillusioned and brazen. He

1:14:49

is literally, he's like. The cocaine

1:14:52

is making him cocaine Superman at

1:14:54

this point. He is raising, he

1:14:56

is pulling out bags of cocaine

1:14:59

in restaurants, he's pulling him out

1:15:01

and like, oh yeah, no, live

1:15:03

streams. Look, we gotta have an

1:15:05

intervention. He's doing it. He's doing

1:15:08

like bumps on TikTok live streams.

1:15:10

He's doing, oh yeah. really starting

1:15:12

to unravel. Cocaine mixing the picture

1:15:15

with somebody like this with a

1:15:17

big ego and a, I mean,

1:15:19

you're, you're, you're headed for narcissist

1:15:21

health. Yeah. But, you know, he,

1:15:24

this is all, you know, happening

1:15:26

at the same time that he's

1:15:28

really starting to unravel and his

1:15:31

need for control increases. But Anna

1:15:33

is happy with her friends and

1:15:35

she's thriving in San Diego. Like,

1:15:37

this is like. She was like

1:15:40

born to be here. She was

1:15:42

this is her place and she

1:15:44

is you know, other than Ali

1:15:47

living her best life, right? In

1:15:49

2021, Ali and Anna's relationship becomes

1:15:51

more and more volatile. Ali is.

1:15:54

slashing out and he is not

1:15:56

liking the independence that Anna is

1:15:58

gaining in their new life near

1:16:00

her friends. He is happy to

1:16:03

have Anna on the sidelines, behind

1:16:05

the camera, supporting his career, but

1:16:07

that became, you know, threatened with

1:16:10

every bit of independence that she's

1:16:12

gaining. The cracks are starting to

1:16:14

show though, Ali is becoming increasingly

1:16:16

paranoid, you know, cocaine. about Anna's,

1:16:19

about Anna cheating on him. He

1:16:21

is so paranoid, he constantly is,

1:16:23

you know, you know, you know,

1:16:26

saying, you're cheating, I know you're

1:16:28

cheating, we haven't had sex in

1:16:30

a month, and so I know

1:16:32

you're cheating. Projection. Yeah. Yeah. That's

1:16:35

exactly what I was gonna say.

1:16:37

It takes two to Tango. Yeah.

1:16:39

Yeah. And he's recording all these

1:16:42

moments. So he's not just like.

1:16:44

Do we? Yeah, something snapped. Something

1:16:46

snapped mentally. He is not connected

1:16:48

to reality anymore to think that

1:16:51

that's a good idea. There's something

1:16:53

wrong with his brain. Yeah. It's

1:16:55

wild. He's like, you know, he's

1:16:58

recording moments in which she arrives,

1:17:00

arrives home, accusing her of being

1:17:02

with other men, like literally showing

1:17:05

their fights. He's degrading her for

1:17:07

not sleeping with him. He's posting

1:17:09

this on TikTok? I don't think

1:17:11

he's posting these videos at the

1:17:14

time, but he's recording all of

1:17:16

them. I don't know for what

1:17:18

point or what purpose. Yeah, but

1:17:21

yeah. It's so strange. At this

1:17:23

point, I think they're just, they

1:17:25

show them in the show them

1:17:27

in the show them in the

1:17:30

show. So they show like all

1:17:32

there if I everything you see

1:17:34

in the show is like his

1:17:37

talking his voice him recording everything

1:17:39

I don't know if it's paranoia

1:17:41

that has him recording I don't

1:17:43

know if that's part of this

1:17:46

or or or what Or he's

1:17:48

just so used to recording his

1:17:50

life. He doesn't know when to

1:17:53

stop. I don't know the explosive

1:17:55

the explosives of their fights is

1:17:57

increasing and Ali is using their

1:17:59

relationship like weaponry. He is the

1:18:02

one who got her visa to

1:18:04

get married and now she's basically

1:18:06

he's like, I got your visa,

1:18:09

you're mine now. So you're obligated

1:18:11

to me and you should be

1:18:13

grateful for me for bringing you

1:18:16

to this country. He threatens to

1:18:18

have her deported and lose her

1:18:20

daughter. But by July of 2021,

1:18:22

it's escalating so much that it's

1:18:25

It's unbearable, it's unlivable. Police are

1:18:27

being involved, but he is great

1:18:29

as presenting himself as this really

1:18:32

stable guy. It's like as soon

1:18:34

as the police show up, he

1:18:36

puts on the face. Check his

1:18:38

phone. Got some videos on there.

1:18:41

Yeah, right. The police were called

1:18:43

nine times to the home for

1:18:45

domestic disturbance. And Ali is effectively

1:18:48

just holding his wife hostage in

1:18:50

this marriage because he's... basically holding

1:18:52

her status in the US as

1:18:54

like a car above her head,

1:18:57

right? Ali starts using his online

1:18:59

platform going live during their fights.

1:19:01

So now he's starting to post.

1:19:04

He's telling his audience, which is

1:19:06

fucking scary, he's telling his millions

1:19:08

of audience who love him and

1:19:11

think he's so special that his

1:19:13

wife is, you know, that he's...

1:19:15

You know, Anna's trying to destroy

1:19:17

him, that, you know, she's an

1:19:20

awful human being, that she's ruining

1:19:22

his life. Okay, the cops that

1:19:24

are being called to the house

1:19:27

for the nine domestic disturbances, like,

1:19:29

maybe take one, one deeper look,

1:19:31

get on TikTok one time to...

1:19:33

prove that maybe he's not the

1:19:36

stand-up guy that he's presenting himself

1:19:38

to be when he answers the

1:19:40

door? I think that's the thing

1:19:43

with lives though like I don't

1:19:45

know I don't know that they're

1:19:47

captured you know for later but

1:19:49

surely if you have a million

1:19:52

followers somebody on that live but

1:19:54

they're all his fans they're not

1:19:56

gonna you know what like what

1:19:59

family going to turn him in.

1:20:01

I mean they're basically like and

1:20:03

it's all his word basically so

1:20:05

he's like you know talking about her

1:20:08

like you know she's awful and

1:20:10

of course his fans his followers

1:20:12

are all going to back him

1:20:14

in his side of the story

1:20:16

this is only him basically giving

1:20:18

his side and then you know

1:20:20

trying to basically gaslight the situation

1:20:22

make it look like she's the

1:20:25

problem. And I think this is allowing

1:20:27

him to feel even more justified.

1:20:29

in this because he's he's

1:20:32

basically presenting this to his

1:20:34

fans his fans are like

1:20:36

wow she seems awful get

1:20:38

a divorce hire a lawyer

1:20:40

she seems awful right you know

1:20:43

because they only know what he's

1:20:45

telling them you know so Anna

1:20:47

and if I say you know

1:20:49

one more time if this was

1:20:52

a drinking game Anna and Ali

1:20:54

met had met a mutual friend

1:20:56

Ray in San Diego Rayburn is

1:20:58

his name. Ray had said to

1:21:01

Ali when they had met how

1:21:03

lucky he was and how he

1:21:05

much how much he really admired

1:21:07

Anna like you know she came

1:21:10

from another country. Oh yeah so

1:21:12

this triggered Ali immediately he's selling

1:21:14

all his friends that Ray is

1:21:16

trying to you know hone in

1:21:19

his territory. He's trying to

1:21:21

take her from him. violent

1:21:23

personas that he was, you know,

1:21:25

getting laughs on in social media

1:21:28

were increasingly spilling into his real

1:21:30

life, which wasn't funny. So he'd

1:21:32

say, you know, stupid shit, like,

1:21:35

that he would do like these

1:21:37

violent character things in his videos

1:21:39

around, like, on his friends and

1:21:42

stuff, and they're like, that's

1:21:44

actually not funny. Like, that's not,

1:21:46

that's not cute. But maybe, yeah,

1:21:48

this isn't... the context in which

1:21:51

this is fun. We're not your

1:21:53

fans either. Yes. Like that they're

1:21:55

not your fans. We are friends.

1:21:57

That's different. Girl, I know.

1:22:00

people, that is such a real

1:22:02

life thing. I know, I have

1:22:04

friends who've become pretty famous on

1:22:06

Tic Talk and it's like there's

1:22:09

a level of fame that certain

1:22:11

people hit and it's like when

1:22:13

you're around them you're like, do

1:22:15

you, I knew you before you

1:22:18

were famous. So like, yeah, what

1:22:20

are you expecting of me? You

1:22:22

want me to react to you

1:22:24

the way that a fan online

1:22:27

would react? To you? Yeah, it's

1:22:29

not gonna happen. No. So the

1:22:31

violence really isn't a character anymore.

1:22:33

She escapes the house. She ends

1:22:36

up going to a friend's of

1:22:38

hers, a friend of hers, she

1:22:40

calls her cousin and is like,

1:22:43

get me out of here, goes

1:22:45

to a friend's house. And her

1:22:47

friend is like, notice is right

1:22:49

away that she has a bruise

1:22:52

on her face. This is stuff

1:22:54

that she's been hiding for who

1:22:56

knows how long. Maybe possibly years,

1:22:58

but she's finally facing the facts

1:23:01

and the reality that this is

1:23:03

no longer a safe environment for

1:23:05

herself or her daughter and she

1:23:07

needs to get out. I mean,

1:23:10

they're having increasing fights in front

1:23:12

of their daughter. He's clearly now

1:23:14

becoming physical if he hadn't, but

1:23:17

before he definitely is now. Her

1:23:19

friends are certain that he was

1:23:21

before, but they didn't really have

1:23:23

proof until this point. Yeah. Yeah,

1:23:26

it doesn't happen overnight. And that's

1:23:28

what the psychiatrist was saying on

1:23:30

the show too. She's like this

1:23:32

kind of violence, this level of

1:23:35

violence doesn't happen overnight. So, you

1:23:37

know, it's an escalation for sure.

1:23:39

She threatens to expose pictures because

1:23:41

now she's like, you know what,

1:23:44

you're right. And now that she

1:23:46

has agreed with her friends. I

1:23:48

think that's a kind of thing,

1:23:51

right? Like once you've started talking

1:23:53

shit about the partner person in

1:23:55

your life with your friends and

1:23:57

you've crossed that line, you've made

1:24:00

a decision now that says, if

1:24:02

you go back, you can't unring

1:24:04

the bell. If you go back,

1:24:06

you're a dummy. Because all your

1:24:09

friends know. You know what I

1:24:11

mean? Yeah, I do. I do

1:24:13

very, very well. Yeah. And I

1:24:15

think that this is the thing

1:24:18

is like once you finally can

1:24:20

come to terms with the situation

1:24:22

in which you're in, and you

1:24:24

can admit to your friends that

1:24:27

this is the situation, you've crossed

1:24:29

the line. You have made a

1:24:31

decision whether you know it or

1:24:34

not. You've really come to that

1:24:36

place where you're like, oh, fuck.

1:24:38

I said that out loud. That

1:24:40

means it's real. And at this

1:24:43

point, she's like- I would hope

1:24:45

your friends have a little more

1:24:47

sensitivity than to think that you're

1:24:49

a dummy. Because abusive cycles are

1:24:52

a little bit more complicated than

1:24:54

that. Of course, but I think

1:24:56

that, I think that, I think

1:24:58

once, I mean from your own

1:25:01

personal perspective. I know what you're

1:25:03

saying. I just want to clarify.

1:25:05

Yeah, yeah, it'd be hard for

1:25:08

me. Even if they know what's

1:25:10

going on, but once you can

1:25:12

physically admit it out loud of

1:25:14

your mouth to your friends, that's

1:25:17

a different, that's a different line.

1:25:19

Yes. And you're absolutely right. There's

1:25:21

cycles. And you're like, oh, he

1:25:23

doesn't mean that or da da

1:25:26

da da. You make excuses. Right.

1:25:28

I would hope you have friends

1:25:30

who are supportive and who are

1:25:32

able to. you know, discourage you

1:25:35

from going back into a situation

1:25:37

that's violent or bad. Yeah. And

1:25:39

would want to protect you and

1:25:42

use as much tough love as

1:25:44

they can. Her friends are amazing.

1:25:46

Yeah, yeah. Her friends are amazing

1:25:48

and they're just, they're fucking team

1:25:51

Anna 100% you know, and ever

1:25:53

since the beginning and and it's

1:25:55

heartbreaking to watch the show because

1:25:57

you get to see her friends

1:26:00

and like how they're coping with

1:26:02

it at this point. and it's

1:26:04

just, it's devastating. But she's like,

1:26:06

you can also tell that she's

1:26:09

done done because she's starting to

1:26:11

threaten to pose, expose these pictures

1:26:13

to families, friends, his online followers

1:26:16

and say, you know what? We're

1:26:18

done. I have pictures and I

1:26:20

have proof now and we're not

1:26:22

going back. This is, and I

1:26:25

will expose you for the fucking

1:26:27

monster you are. All the meanwhile.

1:26:29

Of course, he's been cheating on

1:26:31

her. Can you believe it? Yeah,

1:26:34

I yeah, text book all that.

1:26:36

Yeah, okay. One of which one

1:26:38

of. the people he had cheated

1:26:40

on her with is actually from

1:26:43

their building that they lived in.

1:26:45

And the girl reached out to

1:26:47

Anna telling her that he had

1:26:49

taken her to their home. He

1:26:52

started doing cocaine, became erratic and

1:26:54

started talking about Anna and she

1:26:56

knows like right away. She's like,

1:26:59

I have to fucking warn Anna

1:27:01

about this. Like this is like,

1:27:03

you know, danger. Danger this is

1:27:05

scary this is fucked up and

1:27:08

at this point she just wants

1:27:10

to the truth to come out

1:27:12

No, but that's like I'm really

1:27:14

really want to make that point

1:27:17

if you've done nothing at all

1:27:19

to be like all of a

1:27:21

sudden accused of cheating and your

1:27:23

partner starts doing that 1,000% they

1:27:26

are cheating on you 100 it's

1:27:28

always the case because It's projection.

1:27:30

It's so, so out of the

1:27:33

blue, all of a sudden you're

1:27:35

being accused of cheating, you could

1:27:37

be like, what's going on over

1:27:39

there? And they're berating you about

1:27:42

it and they're getting really paranoid

1:27:44

about it? Yeah, they're cheating. They're

1:27:46

cheating on you. Yeah, for sure.

1:27:48

Again, this girl reaches out to

1:27:51

her and she's like, I'm just

1:27:53

glad that you told me. She's

1:27:55

like, she's like, I'm already emotionally

1:27:57

done with this. relationship. I do

1:28:00

not love him anymore. I am

1:28:02

not, this relationship is fucking over.

1:28:04

We are done. And Anna posts

1:28:07

a tick-talk with a caption, seven

1:28:09

years of toxic and abusive marriage

1:28:11

and finding out he cheated on

1:28:13

me in our home. So she's

1:28:16

hitting him where it hurts, his

1:28:18

online persona. She took it to

1:28:20

the streets. He's unravelling. And Anna

1:28:22

is ready to move on with

1:28:25

her life. He threatens her so

1:28:27

much. He is literally, they play

1:28:29

the voice memos he's sending. He's

1:28:31

threatening her. He's like, you're gonna

1:28:34

ruin my, you know, everything that

1:28:36

means anything to me. And finally,

1:28:38

after all these threats, he takes

1:28:40

down the video. She's just, she's

1:28:43

just like. Fine, whatever, I'll take

1:28:45

it down. Well, and at that

1:28:47

point, it doesn't even matter if

1:28:50

you do take it down because,

1:28:52

like I said, the internet is

1:28:54

forever, it's been seen, it's been

1:28:56

shared, it's been screen, you know,

1:28:59

screen recorded, like, it's gonna be

1:29:01

out there forever, yeah, fine, take

1:29:03

it down, you know. Yeah. And,

1:29:05

you know, all through this too,

1:29:08

you know, and at this point,

1:29:10

she takes it down, she's like,

1:29:12

but she's healing, and even in

1:29:14

text messages, and even in text

1:29:17

messages, Even in text messages to

1:29:19

him, she's saying, you know, I

1:29:21

just want you to move on

1:29:24

and I want you to be

1:29:26

happy and I wish you the

1:29:28

best. It's more than he deserves.

1:29:30

He doesn't deserve that, but it

1:29:33

doesn't matter because it's not about

1:29:35

her and it's not about their

1:29:37

relationship. It's not about anything except

1:29:39

for his ego. That's all it's

1:29:42

about her, you know, that's not

1:29:44

gonna matter to him. It's about

1:29:46

control and ownership and all of

1:29:48

that stuff. And honestly, I think

1:29:51

a little bit of an obsession

1:29:53

with her. I think there's, there's,

1:29:55

there's, you know, this underlying like

1:29:58

you belong to me aspect, you

1:30:00

know, ownership. Yeah, Anna has moved

1:30:02

out. She's trying to start to

1:30:04

pick up. the pieces, her friends

1:30:07

are still concerned about her because

1:30:09

they know that Ali has a

1:30:11

gun. In fact, one of the

1:30:13

incidents that really led to kind

1:30:16

of the end end was Ali

1:30:18

I think had threatened to shoot

1:30:20

himself. He was slamming the gun

1:30:22

down on the tables all happened

1:30:25

in front of their daughter. So

1:30:27

this was really fucked up. And

1:30:29

no, I mean, yeah, like that's

1:30:32

the thing is this guy. I'm

1:30:34

not going to say he's stupid

1:30:36

because it sounds like he's on

1:30:38

drugs is what it sounds like,

1:30:41

but like this kind of erratic

1:30:43

behavior, all of this stuff, I

1:30:45

mean I know how it ends

1:30:47

unfortunately, but he's just leaving evidence

1:30:50

all over the place, all the

1:30:52

stuff that he's threatening her with.

1:30:54

Oh yeah. She like doing that

1:30:56

stuff in front of your daughter,

1:30:59

video recording all the stuff, sending

1:31:01

threatening voice memos, posting on Tik.

1:31:03

If she wanted to... She's got

1:31:05

plenty. She would have plenty. She

1:31:08

would have plenty. She's got everything

1:31:10

she needs. Yeah. Yeah. And you

1:31:12

gave it to her. Exactly. And

1:31:15

again, it's this brazen attitude that

1:31:17

I think that was already brewing

1:31:19

because of the life that he's

1:31:21

in, but then has escalated to

1:31:24

such a point because of the

1:31:26

cocaine. I really do. And I'm

1:31:28

not giving any. I'm not giving

1:31:30

any softness to his culpability. Like

1:31:33

I'm not trying to say that

1:31:35

he's not 100% culpable of everything

1:31:37

that he has done. But I-

1:31:39

Lots of people do cocaine and

1:31:42

don't. Oh, for sure. They're partners.

1:31:44

Exactly. I've never hit Chris, and

1:31:46

I do cocaine all the time.

1:31:49

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

1:31:51

And I only heard him a

1:31:53

little bit of a sign. He

1:31:55

likes that. That's a joke. That's

1:31:58

a joke. Jokes. I got jokes.

1:32:00

I got jokes. All jokes. Yeah,

1:32:02

but he, you know, her friends

1:32:04

are concerned. They know Ali has

1:32:07

a gun. They aren't convinced. you

1:32:09

know, that he's not going to

1:32:11

do something, you know, to harm

1:32:13

her further. She is completely not

1:32:16

afraid though. She's like, there is

1:32:18

no way he would actually truly

1:32:20

harm me in that way. And

1:32:23

it's, the psychologist on the show

1:32:25

was like, just because, you know,

1:32:27

you know, you know somebody in

1:32:29

the... the circumstances you've known them

1:32:32

to up to this point doesn't

1:32:34

mean you know those circumstances of

1:32:36

how they will act when you

1:32:38

leave them and that is so

1:32:41

true and I think that it

1:32:43

was one of the reasons I'm

1:32:45

like this story is so fascinating

1:32:47

a because the element of social

1:32:50

media this idea that people live

1:32:52

this perfect beautiful false reality you

1:32:54

know it's reality TV at its

1:32:57

finest, which is fake as shit

1:32:59

and we all know it, right?

1:33:01

But then it's also this element

1:33:03

of, you know, the effects of,

1:33:06

you know, this mental abuse, this

1:33:08

abuse of relationships, you know, physical,

1:33:10

mental, emotional abuse that partners go

1:33:12

through. Yeah, over and over on

1:33:15

the stories we've told on this

1:33:17

on this podcast. How many times

1:33:19

have we... Have we heard that

1:33:21

exact same thing? That like, even

1:33:24

though he put his hands on

1:33:26

me, even though he hits, he

1:33:28

hits me or hit me once,

1:33:30

or he is verbally abusive to

1:33:33

me, or he's acting erratically, he

1:33:35

would never actually kill me. Yeah,

1:33:37

he's not gonna kill me, right?

1:33:40

You know, we heard that over

1:33:42

and over. Yeah. There was a

1:33:44

shocking statement in the show that

1:33:46

caught my attention, and that was

1:33:49

85% of the calls received by

1:33:51

the San Diego police. are domestic

1:33:53

violence calls. Is that, that is.

1:33:55

I'll tell you something. I just,

1:33:58

at this point in my life,

1:34:00

give me my like peaceful little

1:34:02

apartment with my cat. I just

1:34:04

want. It is no peace. A

1:34:07

cottage and a cat. That's all

1:34:09

we ask for. Ali reaches out

1:34:11

though and tells Anna that, you

1:34:14

know what, he's just gonna end

1:34:16

up, he's moving out. He's gonna

1:34:18

move out of the house. He's

1:34:20

gonna move into a hotel so

1:34:23

that she can move back in

1:34:25

with their daughter back to the

1:34:27

apartment. Ali though has made a

1:34:29

copy of their key unbeknownst to

1:34:32

her. In October 21, Ali uses

1:34:34

a secret key. He comes in

1:34:36

and he wrecks the apartment. Additionally,

1:34:38

putting a tap on his daughter's

1:34:41

iPad so that he can listen

1:34:43

in what's happening in the apartment.

1:34:45

He is intent on finding evidence

1:34:48

that he can use against her.

1:34:50

Anna returns home to find the

1:34:52

mess. She calls her friend to

1:34:54

pick up her daughter from school

1:34:57

and plans to have the locks

1:34:59

changed and file a restraining order.

1:35:01

That is so delusional on his

1:35:03

part, I have to say, like

1:35:06

that he is tapping this iPad

1:35:08

in hopes to get evidence to

1:35:10

use against her when he broke

1:35:12

into the house and wrecked the

1:35:15

apartment. Like, do you understand, like,

1:35:17

the kind of evidence you would

1:35:19

have to get against at this

1:35:21

point? She has so much evidence

1:35:24

against you, the amount of evidence

1:35:26

you'd have to get against her

1:35:28

to win in a court case.

1:35:31

You're not gonna get it. This

1:35:33

is cocaine brain. Yes, you know?

1:35:35

It is, but I mean, again,

1:35:37

I don't want to minimize. Yeah.

1:35:40

And I don't want to know

1:35:42

logic. Yeah. Yeah. Anna asks her

1:35:44

friend Ray, the friend that. they

1:35:46

had met Rayburn to come over

1:35:49

and help her. Can you come

1:35:51

over? Help me clean up this

1:35:53

mess so I can get it

1:35:55

ready for so my daughter can

1:35:58

come back to this house. Meanwhile,

1:36:00

Ali is listening in and can

1:36:02

hear that there is a male

1:36:05

voice in the house with her.

1:36:07

He heads over to the apartment

1:36:09

right away. He starts recording. He's

1:36:11

recording all of this. You can

1:36:14

hear him open the door. You

1:36:16

can hear the clicks of the

1:36:18

gun. You can hear the gun

1:36:20

go off. It's fucking psychotic. So,

1:36:23

you know, definite trigger warning if