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let's get moving. What I remember

0:49

is essentially being exposed

0:52

to every subconscious fear

0:54

and false belief that I had

0:56

ever been... taught. So I was

0:58

exposed to all of those things

1:00

at once in a warehouse setting

1:03

and I was extremely fearful. The

1:05

presence of God was there,

1:07

but I was too afraid

1:09

to look at it. And if I

1:12

can back up, my idea of

1:14

God is very different today than

1:16

it was prior to my accident.

1:18

Hi, good morning. My name

1:20

is Michelle Lebetter. I am

1:23

a registered nurse. I'm a

1:25

hospice nurse. I'm a mother, I'm

1:27

a grandmother and I'm a near

1:29

death experience survivor. Today I am

1:31

super excited about sharing my story

1:34

because I think that when we

1:36

share stories we recognize the connection

1:38

that we all have. So I'm

1:40

going to be very transparent in

1:42

that this is just my second

1:45

time that I'm speaking about it.

1:47

I'm on the heels of my

1:49

anniversary. It happened on February 14th

1:51

2019 and It's taken me a

1:53

minute to get to this place

1:55

because I didn't have the traditional

1:58

beautiful lights and feeling of

2:00

love when I went through my

2:02

altered reality. And it's taken me

2:04

a while to unpack it. It's

2:06

taken me a while to even

2:08

look at it because it was

2:11

kind of frightening for me. So

2:13

here I am. And I am

2:15

so honored to be able to

2:17

share this with you because what

2:19

I've learned from it myself has

2:21

just changed my life and my

2:23

perspective on life in general. So

2:26

I have written what I'm going

2:28

to say down. Just because I

2:30

want to make sure I capture

2:32

the essence of everything that I

2:34

felt and have come to know

2:36

since that experience. So if you're

2:39

there with me, I'm going to

2:41

go ahead and read this to

2:43

you. So on February 14th, 2019,

2:45

it began like any other day.

2:47

I was living life as I

2:49

always had, busy, striving, and carrying

2:51

the weight of an unspoken, unconscious

2:53

fears. Deep down, I believed I

2:55

wasn't worthy of love. I was

2:57

afraid of abandonment and I often

3:00

felt disconnected from the world and

3:02

people around me. These beliefs had

3:04

been with me for as long

3:06

as I can remember, but I

3:08

rarely stopped to question them. Then

3:10

the accident happened and everything changed.

3:12

I was pulled into what I

3:14

can only describe as an altered

3:16

reality and it was terrifying. It

3:18

was as if every false belief

3:20

I had ever carried about myself.

3:23

the unworthiness, the fear, the smallness,

3:25

it came rushing to the surface

3:27

all at once. I felt exposed,

3:29

vulnerable, and completely out of control.

3:31

In those moments, I did sense

3:33

what I now know to be

3:35

God. He was there waiting, offering

3:37

me a glimpse of something far

3:39

greater than my small self. Oh

3:41

man, but I was too afraid

3:43

to look at it. I clung

3:46

to the belief, those false beliefs

3:48

for so long. and I couldn't

3:50

imagine that there was anything more.

3:52

It was a reckoning. and I

3:54

wasn't ready to face it. Even

3:56

as I resisted, God didn't pull

3:58

away. He gently guided me toward

4:00

the truth. Six years later, it's

4:02

been an unfolding. So slowly I

4:04

began to see that the fear

4:07

I was feeling wasn't meant to

4:09

harm me, it was meant to

4:11

awaken me. What I now understand

4:13

is that God uses every opportunity

4:15

and every situation in every event

4:17

in our lives to shape us

4:19

into the people that were meant

4:21

to be. He takes our brokenness

4:23

and transforms it into beauty if

4:25

we allow it. He takes our

4:27

struggles and turns them into strength

4:30

if we can see it that

4:32

way. I began to see the

4:34

accident as frightening as it was.

4:36

It wasn't a punishment. It was

4:38

an invitation. It was God's way

4:40

of saying it's time to let

4:42

go of the lies. It's time

4:44

to remember who you are. And

4:46

as I opened myself to that

4:48

truth, everything shifted. One of the

4:51

most powerful realizations that I had

4:53

is that I Nor you are

4:55

separate from God from life force

4:57

energy from universal love from universal

4:59

consciousness Whatever you want to call

5:01

that that breeze through all of

5:03

us we are all connected in

5:05

that I am an extension of

5:07

that just as you are the

5:09

best way I can explain it

5:11

is with an analogy that I

5:14

love and it's called the ocean

5:16

and the wave the ocean. It's

5:18

vast and it's infinite. It stretches

5:20

beyond what we can see. But

5:22

each wave that rises is unique

5:24

and beautiful. We're never separate from

5:26

that. We just rise from it.

5:28

When the waves falls, it doesn't

5:30

disappear. It just we simply return

5:32

back to it. This is how

5:34

I see myself and all of

5:37

us. We are waves rising from

5:39

the ocean of God's love. experiencing

5:41

individuality for a time, but always

5:43

coming back to the source. It

5:45

is an expansion back into the

5:47

fullness of who we are once

5:49

you get this realization. After the

5:51

accident, I didn't immediately step into

5:53

an understanding. At first I struggled

5:55

deeply. I turned to alcohol and

5:58

pain medications, desperate to escape the

6:00

pain of what I was feeling.

6:02

I wanted relief, but the harder

6:04

I tried to control my reality,

6:06

the more disconnected I felt. It

6:08

wasn't until I completely surrendered and

6:10

until I stopped trying to fight

6:12

against life and started stepping into

6:14

its flow that I began to

6:16

find freedom. I realized that I

6:18

didn't need to numb my pain.

6:21

I needed to listen to it.

6:23

I didn't need to control my

6:25

life. I needed to trust it.

6:27

God was using everything, the accident,

6:29

the pain, the struggles. It always

6:31

meant to leave me back to

6:33

myself. And as I let go

6:35

of the need to guide the

6:37

waves and step into the flow

6:39

of life, I began to feel

6:41

a peace that I've never known

6:44

before. There are three main takeaways

6:46

from my experience that this journey

6:48

has taught me about life. And

6:50

that is, life is not random

6:52

or meaningless. Every moment, every challenge,

6:54

and every joy is part of

6:56

a greater plan to help us

6:58

grow into the people that we're

7:00

meant to be. I've learned that

7:02

we're not separate from God. We

7:05

are the waves rising from the

7:07

ocean in his love. our independence,

7:09

our individuality, experience life, grow, and

7:11

return. Two, surrender brings freedom. When

7:13

we stop fighting against life and

7:15

start trusting its flow, we find

7:17

peace. And finally, God is always

7:19

guiding us. Even in our hardest

7:21

moments, he uses every experience to

7:23

shape us into our best version

7:25

of ourselves. Oh, thank you for

7:28

letting me read that. As far

7:30

as my accident, I am a

7:32

hospice nurse and I was traveling

7:34

at the time from Montana trying

7:36

to get to. new assignment in

7:38

Texas. I was trying to outrun

7:40

a snowstorm and I ended up

7:42

having a car accident. When I

7:44

first had the car accident and

7:46

they found me, I had a

7:49

sense of profound peace the whole

7:51

time, but I didn't even recognize

7:53

that until just, I can't even

7:55

tell you, maybe. six weeks ago

7:57

when I realized that that peace

7:59

was always there, but I was

8:01

so focused on the fear that

8:03

I missed it I missed that

8:05

God was there holding me the

8:07

whole time. So I had absolutely

8:09

no fear when I Was wheeled

8:12

into the hospital. They told me

8:14

that I was going to have

8:16

to have urgent surgery. I broke

8:18

my back and I had a

8:20

traumatic brain injury But I was

8:22

able to engage and I was

8:24

feeling so much peace the people

8:26

that help me through this time.

8:28

I was by myself with my

8:30

little dog. They were human angels

8:32

on earth. The nurse they were

8:35

talking about and pounding my my

8:37

dog and I said, please don't

8:39

do that. And one of the

8:41

nurses didn't know me. She took

8:43

that puppy and she kept it

8:45

until I was able to recover

8:47

and get out in the hospital.

8:49

So I started to see the

8:51

divinity in people at that point

8:53

in time. When I went into

8:56

surgery is when I had my

8:58

altered reality experience and I'm not

9:00

sure how long it lasted. days.

9:02

I was in ICU, but time

9:04

is kind of elusive in that,

9:06

in that realm. What I remember

9:08

is essentially being exposed to every

9:10

subconscious fear and false belief that

9:12

I had ever been taught and

9:14

assumed as real. So my not

9:16

being good enough, my just, you

9:19

know, kind of fighting and doing

9:21

the grind of life. I was

9:23

living it. I mean, if you

9:25

saw me from the outside, I

9:27

was living a pretty productive life,

9:29

but inside there was still something

9:31

always missing, and I couldn't quite

9:33

put my finger on it. So

9:35

I was exposed. to all of

9:37

those things at once in a

9:40

warehouse setting and I was extremely

9:42

fearful. The presence of God was

9:44

there but I was too afraid

9:46

to look at it and if

9:48

I can back up my my

9:50

idea of God is very different

9:52

today than it was prior to

9:54

my accident. I now understand that

9:56

God is that life force energy

9:58

that is all around us and

10:00

all consuming. I didn't necessarily know

10:03

that then so as I am

10:05

moving through this, I was so

10:07

afraid that when I looked up,

10:09

I saw the tiles of this

10:11

warehouse lifting and a light was

10:13

coming through. But in my mind,

10:15

I was thinking it was a

10:17

lot. I was thinking it was

10:19

something that was going to come

10:21

in and burn me. And so

10:23

I was just like, oh my

10:26

gosh, bend over and Behold my

10:28

knees and I hope it doesn't

10:30

hurt. It was very very frightening

10:32

and I believe being a hospice

10:34

nurse now I believe that there's

10:36

a lot of people move through

10:38

that in the early parts of

10:40

transition before they get to that

10:42

light. It is we call it

10:44

terminal agitation and so while I

10:47

was in ICU I had to

10:49

be monitored by a person because

10:51

I was acting out my fears

10:53

and trying to get out of

10:55

bed and trying to escape and

10:57

that sort of thing. And it

10:59

was very in and out sort

11:01

of experience as far as the

11:03

fears that would come, the things

11:05

that I would see, I so

11:07

wanted help, but I didn't know

11:10

how to ask for it. I

11:12

did not speak of this for

11:14

the longest time because I didn't

11:16

want people think that I went

11:18

to hell. And I honestly thought

11:20

that I had gone to hell.

11:22

And so it took me. a

11:24

few years to unpack it. As

11:26

I read, I dipped into alcohol

11:28

and pain medication to try and

11:30

numb because numbing it meant I

11:33

didn't have to look any closer

11:35

at what that was trying to

11:37

reveal for me. as it took

11:39

me about two years really to

11:41

start to really turn to it

11:43

and look at it and say,

11:45

what was this trying to teach

11:47

me instead of being that victim

11:49

to what had happened? And as

11:51

that started to blossom and I

11:54

started to let go and I

11:56

started to ask the questions on

11:58

what did that specific feeling of

12:00

abandonment when I saw my children

12:02

leaving me in this burning building?

12:04

What was that trying to teach

12:06

me? What was that representing for

12:08

me? And It was that I

12:10

was so disconnected from my source,

12:12

I was so disconnected from the

12:14

love within, I didn't even actually

12:17

know what true love was. And

12:19

I don't think I'm alone in

12:21

that. I thought it was more

12:23

of an engagement and an exchange

12:25

sort of thing. But now I

12:27

know that we are an extension

12:29

of that love and it's within

12:31

us and life is happening for

12:33

us to find it, to embrace

12:35

it and to stop looking for

12:38

the validation outside. because that's what

12:40

I was doing. I was hoping

12:42

that people were seeing me live

12:44

this great life, but, but quietly

12:46

underneath I, I was afraid. It

12:48

is within each and every one

12:50

of us. It is, we are

12:52

an extension of God source energy.

12:54

We are a part of that.

12:56

We can't be separate from it.

12:58

And to tap into it is

13:01

the, I don't even have a

13:03

word. It is the most heavenly

13:05

experience. And you can live it

13:07

every single day. I recognize that

13:09

our emotions are our internal guidance

13:11

given to us by life. And

13:13

if we're feeling anything on a

13:15

negative vibration of, you know, scarcity,

13:17

fear, jealousy, any of those negative

13:19

vibration feelings, that's essentially life saying,

13:21

you're looking at this the wrong

13:24

way. And if you can move.

13:26

up the vibrational scale and connect

13:28

to that life source love energy

13:30

that's within you and look at

13:32

it through the eyes of love.

13:34

You can see the lessons that

13:36

are right there before. in every

13:38

event and everything that is unfolding

13:40

in your day, you can see.

13:42

how where before I might have

13:45

wanted to defend where I stood

13:47

on a certain topic because I

13:49

needed to be right for my

13:51

own validation and for other people

13:53

to think that I knew what

13:55

I was talking about. I was

13:57

still in a defense mode of

13:59

trying to get my point across

14:01

and now I just see that

14:03

that defense was a protection mode

14:05

and now I can just be

14:08

vulnerable to people, I can be

14:10

vulnerable to life, I can wake

14:12

up each morning and say, what

14:14

is it that you're going to

14:16

teach me today? When the hardships

14:18

come, I totally see that I'm

14:20

not in control here. There's something

14:22

more going on. And if I

14:24

can sit back and just trust

14:26

life, trust God, it will come

14:28

to me in a way that

14:31

just releases any kind of negative.

14:33

vibration that's held in any moment

14:35

of discord. So the gift that

14:37

I've received is there isn't too

14:39

much that can upset me for

14:41

longer than five minutes because I'm

14:43

able to flip it into a

14:45

new way of seeing. I'm able

14:47

to flip it into looking at

14:49

it through the eyes of love

14:52

and looking at it, not as

14:54

a place of defending my stance

14:56

in this world, but opening myself

14:58

to people and seeing them for

15:00

who they are. And sometimes you

15:02

see the boo-boos that people present

15:04

to you when they're arguing with

15:06

you or they're fighting for their

15:08

limitations and all you can do

15:10

is just hold a sacred space

15:12

for them because I also know

15:15

it's not my purpose to necessarily

15:17

drive people into seeing it this

15:19

way. But I can hold space

15:21

for people so that they can

15:23

feel confident and feel loved and

15:25

embraced, even if I'm not saying

15:27

anything to them, but just hold

15:29

that space for people to see

15:31

that there's a different way to

15:33

see this if you're willing to

15:36

look at it as far as

15:38

any kind of conflict or confrontations.

15:40

So although I dipped my toe

15:42

into hell, it was my own

15:44

personal hell and I think a

15:46

lot of us have that. I

15:48

think a lot of us grew

15:50

up believing to fear God and

15:52

that we had

15:54

to live in

15:56

a certain a certain

15:59

and a certain

16:01

way to be

16:03

accepted but that's

16:05

not true. Life

16:07

wants us to be our unique

16:09

individual self that wants us to

16:11

be that special self, that we are

16:13

always attached to that ocean are

16:15

the love of God to God ocean,

16:17

matter where we are in the

16:19

journey. God, no I look at this

16:21

now as I have closed my

16:23

eyes to an old reality and

16:25

my my a new a that I reality

16:27

that I did not even know

16:29

existed. no I had no idea it

16:31

was available I've stepped now that I've

16:33

stepped into that the next level

16:35

about am confident this just about closing

16:37

our eyes in this reality and

16:39

opening our eyes into a new

16:42

reality which many people call heaven

16:44

and I actually think you can

16:46

kind of feel that here and

16:48

now. So that's my my story and

16:50

thank you for letting me share

16:52

it. it. So,