0:12

Hey, it's Brian Postain. Nerd

0:15

poker. We're calling it

0:17

The Song Camping. My

0:19

friends are here. Chris

0:22

Blaine. Ken, engineer

0:24

Sam. and of course,

0:26

our kick -ass DM

0:28

Dan Telfer. Welcome to

0:30

Nerd Poker. Hey everybody.

0:35

Hey It's it's

0:38

Brian Posein. You're listening

0:40

to Nerd Poker. It's the second

0:42

of Slay

0:45

Missed You me Or

0:48

the campaign, formerly known as the fog

0:50

campaign. I I liked the unofficial

0:52

title, though. Yeah, We're

0:54

all here. Chris

0:57

is here. Hello. Hello. Hey, pal. Hey

1:00

is here. Hi, Brian.

1:02

Hey, Hey Dan. Hey boss.

1:04

Hey, man. Hey, man. Hello

1:07

Brian. Willie's walking around by

1:09

Sam. Hello around by Sam. Hey.

1:12

sweet children. Hey, man. Hey. And

1:15

of course, Sarah

1:17

with us anymore, but

1:19

she found found still on the

1:21

bonus episodes. She's

1:23

still alive, you you dumbass. I

1:26

just feel like if you didn't

1:29

listen to the first one and you listening to

1:31

one, but why would you do that? Sarah

1:33

doesn't live here anymore. Yeah.

1:37

You want to thank some people? I sure

1:39

do. Hey! Hey, you're listening to

1:41

this podcast that is almost

1:43

fully funded just from Patreon. you

1:46

to everyone who listens thank you

1:48

to everyone who can even

1:50

throw a single shekel upon our

1:53

pile of riches but you

1:55

can subscribe at the top two

1:57

tiers on Patreon, will shout

1:59

you out one. per quarter of

2:01

the year and y 'all

2:03

have usernames like Nerdy Girl 13. Thank

2:06

you Nerdy Girl 13. Thank

2:08

you, Justin Milan. Thank

2:10

you Matthew Arnold. Thank

2:12

you Morganzo. Thank

2:15

you Ten-Sirs Gifts. Thanks,

2:18

Megan Bradburn. Thank

2:20

you Beth. Thank you Moose

2:22

Jersey. Thank you Mr. Pribs. Thank

2:25

you Joe Beck. Thank you Amanda

2:27

Bird. Thank you Mike Cribier. Thank

2:29

you Local Mind Flayers Seattle,

2:31

number 42. Thanks,

2:34

Goth Brooks. Thank you, Joshua

2:36

Stone. Thank you Matt Carter.

2:39

Thank you Craig Willis. And

2:41

finally, thank you Brian. Remember

2:43

when you told me in confidence that

2:45

Trek is better than Star

2:47

Wars. Never happened. Cribbie

2:51

I just saw at... You

2:54

usually see him in San Diego during

2:56

the con, and came and saw this year I

2:59

performed, guess it was right

3:01

around Halloween,

3:04

but in San Diego and he came by

3:06

and I mentioned that, I think when I when

3:08

I saw but he's such a great dude

3:10

and such a supporter of the show and

3:12

a longtime friend of a

3:15

Don't forget Jerry. Yeah, again.

3:18

And then I

3:20

to make a kiss when Beth's name

3:23

came up but... What

3:25

you do? just know I was thinking

3:27

of you, Beth. What can you do? hear you hear you

3:29

calling. What we do

3:31

please What is your most supportive's to us by?

3:33

supporters brought to us by Jurgen's Ass

3:35

Wash. Oh, God. With aloe and

3:37

amoillins to make your ass smooth

3:40

soft, kissable but seriously

3:42

if you can only watch

3:44

one thing make your ass ass. Jurgen's

3:46

Ass for a clean ass ass. Dan?

3:49

I get to I get to a to thank some

3:51

people some other people But

3:53

I do some bits now

3:56

about how it was

3:58

like last year especially when

4:00

I was 400 400 pounds, how it

4:02

was hard for me to get

4:04

clean downstairs. And a woman in Maryland, Maryland,

4:06

I was in the outside of Baltimore, Timonium

4:08

at McGoobies. Did you need to go

4:10

to Corner Stable, did you? I did get

4:13

food delivered from Corner Stable. I

4:15

didn't go there in person, but

4:17

I got a, I got a,

4:19

a, oh yeah, it was great. Good, good,

4:21

good, was good. Yeah. But at

4:23

Magoobies, this woman in the middle

4:26

of that joke gels, you should get

4:28

a bidet to wash my ass. She's

4:30

right. But other story

4:32

is that I broke a in Hawaii.

4:36

Just watch it die. Wait a Wait a minute. How

4:38

did you break it? God

4:40

damn it, please. How did you break it? Just

4:45

to watch it die. I

4:48

once, I I was talking to

4:50

some people this woman goes, I go

4:53

Fresno this goes, oh, blew a dude Fresno and

4:55

I go just to watch him die. Two

4:59

people laughed, the girl I it to to

5:01

not laugh. She

5:03

did not laugh. Probably drinking

5:09

Charlie drinking coffee smoking glory holes. She

5:11

didn't laugh. and Then she

5:13

said, yes. Yes, that is I broke

5:15

it up. Yeah. How you break the bidet? How

5:18

do you think? I

5:21

don't know the same because I have

5:23

a bidet. I honestly don't

5:25

know. know. Just whole toilet seat. Oh,

5:28

okay. I don't have to

5:30

sit down like whole toilet. I

5:32

have an attachment to my

5:34

toilet. No, No, was also

5:36

an old bid because broke, my,

5:38

my -in -law bought shitty toilet

5:40

seats and I broke like

5:42

three four of these these. So

5:44

was banned from dosing his house. Yeah.

5:46

Your Yeah. Your country. I'll stay

5:48

in hotel. Take that shit to Pismo. think

5:50

that's shit to Pismo. We

5:55

have a, we have a Tushy

5:57

and it's great. I know it's iron. I

6:00

have a tushy. I have a. Wait a

6:02

minute. Three. I I still to get to

6:04

to somebody thanking us. but But I'm just going

6:06

to say the thing about the Toshi is

6:08

I can, when the cleaning lady is

6:10

coming over, I I her out

6:13

by holding my thumb over the nozzle

6:15

and the diarrhea off the Wow.

6:20

I knew it was

6:22

the Howard Stern sponsored by Toshi. Wow.

6:29

The other thing besides the Betay was a woman

6:31

or a in Maryland at at same

6:33

shows, but it was a different

6:35

show But one of the

6:37

other nights goes, uh, Hey

6:40

man, you need wipes. I

6:43

was like, really? You recommend dude goes, yeah,

6:45

get the large the extra large.

6:47

And the And he goes,

6:49

seriously, dude wipes change your life. And

6:52

I was like, I was a dad.

6:54

baby wipes, man. just use wipes forever. But But

6:56

man. wipes, I I guess. Let's

6:59

see if we we get wipes It's

7:01

sponsored. show. No, we lost Sarah's is let's lean

7:03

the table. cleans we balls. let's

7:05

lean into stuff

7:07

that cleans your balls.

7:10

Jergens ass wash. Are you guys playing D and

7:12

great. Are you guys playing D

7:14

&D Are you making the man show? What's

7:16

going on? a trampoline in here. trampoline

7:18

in here. Oh, so I wanted to think

7:21

this 20 I I thank might have called out

7:23

before, but Connor S one

7:26

of my shows recently. And

7:28

this was in the garage and

7:30

pointed it out. I was

7:32

trying to figure out how long

7:34

I had had this. One

7:36

of our listeners from grandpa

7:38

and sons woodworking. I wish I had

7:41

his name. Really Really

7:43

cool logo. It's It's a, it's a

7:45

hand missing finger. It's

7:49

his his and sons most

7:51

of the of the

7:53

finger. But anyway, he

7:55

made amazing, you know,

7:58

it's It's a dice. hour with

8:00

our old characters

8:02

and that's how Chris, detective

8:06

of the bunch, out

8:08

that's what, it was during COVID, must have sent

8:10

this. yeah and that's why we never

8:12

used it because it was in

8:14

my garage and I was like, did this never

8:17

get, I must've been mentioned on

8:19

the show or gonna use use

8:21

it we were zooming. But hope a

8:25

grandpa sons I hope we've called you

8:27

out before but if we haven't, thank you

8:29

man. It's some amazing fucking work.

8:31

He's in Shelves, that's all the shelf.

8:33

He did coasters for every

8:35

character. So I've got a Danny

8:38

coaster that's showing. It

8:40

just a a fist. then then

8:42

little motion lines off of it.

8:44

Really cool over

8:46

shield And what's yours? Mine

8:49

is three arrows buried

8:51

in the wood above the

8:53

word. gelph. Nice. I got

8:55

I got a carrot for Nathan. I

8:58

got a hammer for Tootie. I think

9:00

we should take pictures of this

9:02

and put it up somewhere. There's our

9:05

stuff, Dungeon master all of these shields

9:07

are represented on them. And the best They're

9:09

laser cut on the tower is Terry,

9:11

is a smash that cigarette. Oh, that's great.

9:13

Terry got one too. Yeah. It's This is incredible. It's right

9:15

here. And they're all on the tower too.

9:17

Did get one though? Yeah. get it? Did

9:19

he make the, yeah, he smashed a cigarette. Oh, nice. it

9:21

is. It's on his It's

9:24

on his, it's on his Instagram, and sons,

9:26

But he has a, it's posted, yeah.

9:30

March of 2021. Oh, well,

9:32

thank you. Yeah. Obviously we were

9:34

not playing live at that point.

9:36

So I'm lost in the shuffle, but but he loves it.

9:38

say his name. say his name? It's guys, Peter

9:40

and Gabe. Thanks Peter and Gabe.

9:43

You guys are awesome. this stuff is beautiful.

9:45

It's really cool. And then, when you

9:47

guys want to use the tower, we can

9:49

hear the tower. Yeah. amazing. There

9:52

go. That's so

9:54

satisfying. Awesome. So yeah,

9:56

So yeah, let's jump in but I

9:58

want to do a shout out. to grandpa and son. Yeah.

10:03

So I've heard of that. I you to know that we

10:05

got it and and loves

10:07

the tower and the

10:09

coasters. and the coasters. I

10:11

want to like leave in my car for

10:13

when I drive over here and

10:15

just think of car things, I drop

10:17

in it. What's What's that you keep

10:19

in your car that I could just

10:21

make loud, like change. all

10:24

the keys. That'd

10:26

be fun time I got in my car.

10:28

The The guy I'm whacking in the

10:30

trunk. What is some duct tape? Yeah,

10:32

throw some hard candy in

10:34

there. Are you whacking guys? Are

10:37

you whacking them? Not like whacking

10:39

guys, but know, like killing them. So

10:42

whacking them. Yeah, whacking them. With

10:44

hand jobs. Yeah, kill them with. You murdered

10:46

them with hand jobs. Kill them with kindness,

10:48

you know what I'm saying? Jerking

10:50

death. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Handy jazz. Thumb

10:54

stuff. It's an unhappy ending.

10:57

I them unhappy ending. New listeners.

11:00

Sorry. The end. Yeah,

11:02

yeah. Well, anyway, Jergens ass wash. I

11:05

am a butt thief. Oh,

11:08

man, that is the best time that

11:10

I've ever done. It

11:12

says they're meant to say

11:14

I am but thief. And And it

11:16

says. Stephen from office space little boy she do.

11:18

That ain't funny. mean. I hate it.

11:21

it. Shall

11:24

we talk about? Yeah. what

11:26

happened? Oh, Oh, oh, I don't

11:28

hear you. Last time. Next time,

11:30

last time Under poker, your poker.

11:32

time. Our heroes

11:34

went into the town of

11:36

Delzmus. where they met up

11:38

with a fortune teller who told

11:40

them foul portents which will

11:42

be worked into the campaign. I

11:45

hope you were all

11:48

taking notes. But scary. The future

11:50

looms before you. The

11:52

town of Delzmuth is cursed with

11:54

a thick fog. And in

11:56

the caves beneath there

11:58

are grand treasures. that been dragged

12:00

there by monsters. Perhaps

12:05

our will even do something

12:07

about the fog, but I'm leaving

12:09

it up to them whether

12:11

they're just computer or totally just

12:13

like gonna steal shit run. You

12:16

guys are currently outside

12:20

the fortune teller

12:22

shop of Glendale, the fortune

12:24

Peller and

12:26

just gotten your fortunes. No

12:28

Glendale's Galleria. The Glendale's

12:31

Galleria. More of an

12:33

Americana fan myself. But

12:35

of the only one of them has a

12:37

keels. The

12:39

reception up here in the Encino can

12:41

be a little spotty, but I'm going

12:44

to text you guys. How graphic. Yeah,

12:46

I said it. I'm going to text you guys

12:48

a graphic of this as well. You get handed

12:50

from Lil Peepers, your tiny halfling

12:52

slash loxodon friend. A

12:55

map to Del Smith. Oh,

12:57

is a map that has

12:59

been printed out in and white.

13:01

I'm going to send you the

13:04

color version. Oh, might not get

13:06

it till later tonight, but I'll

13:08

say all the previous seasons. I've done

13:10

a thing or maybe I labeled

13:12

some stuff. You get

13:15

this map and Lil

13:17

says, I

13:19

actually know. Do

13:21

you still short one? Yeah, I actually only

13:23

know where there is one

13:25

thing on the map. A

13:27

couple of areas I understand.

13:29

I can tell you where they were,

13:32

parts of town are. But you can see there

13:35

are some docks because it a

13:37

dock quarter. Hey, a large

13:39

dried up fountain in the

13:41

middle of town. But these were

13:43

maps I had to, you

13:45

know, drop very quickly.

13:48

And it was very difficult

13:50

to actually talk to someone

13:52

without raising suspicion. So this

13:54

was I put together just for us. And

13:57

hopefully it will help us. What

14:00

do you mean when When say you

14:02

raising suspicion, what that mean? I

14:04

stole a lot of things

14:07

right of pockets. Oh,

14:09

I see. So I didn't come here

14:11

with much money. I I most of my

14:13

money to you all in the hopes that you

14:15

would help me pill for quite a

14:17

large bounty, but Can you a

14:20

lot of butts? I may

14:22

may need to apologize to everyone. I did you

14:24

a letter where I said I was a

14:26

butt thief. I'm sure you all

14:28

forget very soon. And will not haunt me to the rest of

14:30

my days. No, it's quick.

14:34

But But big wheel thing, the round

14:36

thing that is a dried up

14:38

fountain. There used to be a

14:40

large presentational artistic stone fountain right

14:42

about there in the middle

14:44

of Dellsmith. We are currently

14:47

outside of a rounded

14:49

building just to the bottom

14:51

of the west entrance. So if

14:53

you see the west gate there, there's

14:55

a little round building. That

14:57

is the fortune teller's shop. Okay.

15:00

Hey, little quick

15:03

question here. No answers. I

15:05

couldn't help but notice, but there's

15:07

what looks like a a

15:09

figure out the water there. Ah, yes,

15:11

that is the fissure of which

15:13

I spoke in my butt thief letter. That

15:16

is the source of of like a

15:18

out, I That is the source

15:20

of whatever is coming out.

15:23

I think I'm dealing with

15:25

only hearsay secrets. things You

15:27

say that's a chocolate starfish

15:29

in the hot dog water. Yes,

15:33

Yes, that's exactly what I would say.

15:35

Is it been just one of those

15:37

days? I No, I mean, when

15:39

I talk rumors, I mean, if he said she said

15:41

bullshit. Well,

15:44

Well, I'd be able to follow what's going on if I didn't see

15:46

the fissure, King. If we

15:49

wanted to do something, just to music

15:51

in the 90s. You can follow

15:53

this. about the the curse. We

15:55

want to investigate to the

15:57

northeast we enter the... caverns and

15:59

head under the water, of, I

16:02

I hope, are dry

16:05

caves, not underwater caves, but caves

16:07

beneath the sea floor. We

16:09

can get to the Fijur

16:11

perhaps find what exactly is

16:13

the source of this curse, but

16:15

I, I, of

16:17

course, you don't need to morally test

16:19

you. I I you here for treasure. And

16:21

if And if it is treasure like

16:23

would like to leave with, we will

16:26

leave with simply a treasure and not to

16:28

clear conscience. The

16:30

Southwest area, you will note is a bit

16:32

of a swamp. I

16:34

understand there are some monsters

16:36

that lay in wait. They're time to

16:38

time In the town. in the town.

16:40

yes. It's a town. used to be

16:43

the poor section of town where Down

16:45

here Dan. Yes, the impoverished folk

16:47

would have their own little shacks

16:49

And there are still some impoverished

16:51

folk just to the north, But

16:53

most of the very southwest

16:55

corner of town Smith is well, a

16:57

bunch of broken down buildings

16:59

being sucked beneath the earth into

17:01

a deeper level of slime. If

17:03

are we now? Did you

17:05

already say I'm sorry? We here, which

17:07

is the West Gate. one of those

17:10

little round buildings. That is

17:12

the fortune teller Glendale Galleria. Gotcha. Is there

17:14

it seems to be sort of like

17:16

a a high wall surrounding that is correct. Okay,

17:18

how high is the wall surrounding the

17:20

town? You all would have noticed it

17:22

is not a very high wall. It

17:25

is about- and a half, half? 15.

17:27

Is it broken at any point Or

17:29

is it- No, it's it's

17:31

in bad shape. It like it

17:33

has fallen into. disrepair

17:35

and fog maybe sort of either

17:37

eating at it or or Increasing

17:40

the speed of decay or something just

17:42

because of how rotten the wood is

17:45

on the gates The the doors have

17:47

kind of started to fall off It's

17:49

It's not of a fortress, really. It's

17:51

not fortress at all No, it to be a quaint

17:53

little seaside town that is now poisoned by evil, and

17:55

did just want to say if I could go

17:57

back to where I left off before the Q&A began.

17:59

began No. Of course, we are

18:01

comedians. What? goofing

18:03

it up, Butt comedians. Thieving butts. to

18:05

the southwest that swamp is this

18:07

area down here he says

18:09

if there is any source

18:11

of evil, if there is any

18:14

master that has left the fissure, is

18:16

probably underground in that direction he

18:18

suspects because of just how foul

18:21

the ground is how thick the

18:23

slime is rising up out of the

18:25

ground and there are And

18:27

known caverns underneath the town. Yes,

18:29

if you look to

18:31

the southeast, you will note are some

18:33

cracks in the cliffs. The southeast of

18:35

town along the shore is lined

18:38

with cliffs that will be more clear

18:40

when you are looking at the

18:42

digital colorized version of the map. This

18:44

is a laser from so we can do what we can.

18:46

we 2012. do what we can. Dude,

18:49

you're getting a Delz much. If

18:52

you keep talking like that, I I'll

18:54

tell you the very disappointing story

18:57

of how Delzmuth got its name. So.

19:00

Delz was once. called

19:03

Deldale, a beautiful

19:05

town named after its founder, Del.

19:08

But then Dell got old and got

19:10

very annoying and told very long stories

19:12

and they called it Dell's Mouth. And

19:14

then over time, Del's sounded too strange

19:16

for the name of a a town, so they

19:19

shortened it to Delz Myth. So He talked a

19:21

lot. so saying Del Taco. Sam

19:25

cut that out. Oh, Wow.

19:27

wow. Del Taco. It's It's bad enough that

19:29

I only have one eye. Now I'm

19:31

going to gouge out both ears. So

19:34

yes. I mean, oh, Jesus

19:38

Christ. Do the walls keep

19:40

the mist inside? Or is the

19:42

mist... The mist seems to... The

19:44

walls keep the mist inside. wall?

19:48

The seems to almost deliberately plume

19:50

within the walls. I strongly

19:52

suspect the mist is the magical

19:54

creation of bit are

19:56

there little bit. we

19:58

see any Do we see any... People moving around.

20:00

around. here. Oh, People still live

20:03

here. Oh, Oh, let's see. I'm

20:05

see. spayed. Meow. Huh?

20:08

Huh? Yes. They're

20:11

hungry. I know that did. I know that cat did.

20:14

This town is still fairly you populated. this town is still

20:16

fairly populated. Many did leave, of course, as

20:18

it began to become clear the fog not leave

20:20

on its own and no one here had

20:22

the magical ability to rid the town of

20:24

fog. There is,

20:26

for instance, a mansion I recommend we rob. It's

20:30

it's Tenant is a very

20:32

wealthy drow has collected an

20:34

artifact I believe we

20:36

would find very useful in

20:38

our adventures in the caves.

20:40

It is a sword, if

20:42

you are familiar. I I

20:44

believe we are at all of

20:46

us, a bit of a sneaky lot,

20:49

a bit of a manipulative lot.

20:51

is exactly what we will need

20:53

to get through the puzzles

20:55

that may need tracking. the The safes

20:57

that may need busing. Is this Drow not

20:59

a good dude? Uh, No,

21:02

no, Because

21:04

I only rob good dudes. His

21:07

name is Alethor Zallarax. I

21:10

don't rob people Alethor

21:13

Zallarax. Alethor Zallarax. Zallarax is up

21:15

on the cliffs

21:18

to the northeast

21:20

And the cliffs with the caves

21:22

that I was about to speak

21:24

to are the southeast. I had a

21:26

question out of character I refuse. In

21:30

In only No, just kidding. It's

21:33

up. Wanted to know

21:35

about mind

21:39

protection, That was a thing

21:41

that passed out as very

21:44

important to

21:46

this campaign. so

21:49

I wanted to know, because you

21:51

mentioned that in your in your letter. Yes.

21:54

So you would ask. Hey, man,

21:56

yeah, man. Yes.

21:59

So as I I mentioned mind control, dude. I darted around

22:01

town rather quickly. I did not like to stay

22:03

in one place. In fact, I have not yet

22:05

stayed in the inn. I'd been setting up a camp outside

22:07

of town, which is why I was not here

22:09

to meet you. I had to be out in

22:11

the woods to feel safe when I slept. Well,

22:14

I think safe here the night. I do

22:16

recommend we stay in town at this

22:18

point. And it is my understanding, those

22:20

whose minds have controlled.

22:23

are ones who either live alone or have

22:25

wandered off on their own. own And

22:27

somehow being around other people

22:29

makes it difficult for this

22:31

being or to control minds. So if

22:33

we stay close together in

22:35

the fog, if we do

22:37

not get separated, I feel

22:40

good about our chances. But

22:42

as a solo thief sneaking

22:44

about. picking pockets, I

22:46

did not feel good staying on my

22:48

own in the event that that could

22:50

happen. So if we're going to get mind

22:53

devices of some kind, I some

22:55

do recommend we all think

22:57

about, well, got two magic users

22:59

right here. If either of

23:01

you know spells that counter.

23:05

some sort of mind control, think some sort of

23:07

immunities. You could have to charming, These

23:09

things would help you. I

23:11

also think there may be

23:14

something in town. town.

23:16

is a wizard in town

23:18

who we could try

23:20

to negotiate scrolls, might

23:22

be able to teach a special mind control

23:25

protection spells. There

23:27

might be items for sale in town.

23:31

With the wizard someone else?

23:33

With With just a shop. There

23:35

are shops here, little

23:38

shops that sell magical

23:40

things, devices, weapons,

23:43

clothing. Healing potions

23:45

probably, right? Wouldn't everybody like to have

23:47

some healing potions? Oh, they definitely have

23:49

an apothecary here in town. yes. An apothecary, There

23:51

we go. Delicious.

23:55

So I recommend you mark up

23:57

your maps we go. I will

23:59

do my best. best to tell you where

24:01

things are. And I will write

24:03

it down as you write down. Does

24:08

that sound good? Yeah. I'm

24:10

trying to open my immunity. Your

24:14

immunity? No, that I had,

24:16

uh, immunity, but um, Like

24:19

resistance? Yeah. you have some

24:21

some I have sleep. Or

24:23

I have immunity to magical

24:25

sleep. but nice. That's

24:28

cool. I feel like I have something

24:30

that um, it's harder

24:32

to uh, do

24:34

a spell on me. Okay. Oh, it's Oh, cool. Do

24:38

you guys who are users have

24:40

anything? uh, anything

24:42

that like stops control? I don't, it's only

24:44

not something that was required. don't

24:46

think there's think there's anything to spell magic or,

24:49

well, I mean, I have I have

24:51

a in handy. I have a complete

24:53

immunity to all mind control. No.

24:56

Wow. Holy smokes. Hold on. How

24:58

do you spell complete immunity? Hey,

25:01

why that being written in giant

25:03

letters across the top of your feet? shit?

25:06

complete Foolish. Yeah. Oh, in Oh, you're

25:08

a liar. So yes, the

25:10

mansion is that thing that looks a

25:12

little bit like a smiley face

25:14

to the Northeast. It's all on its own.

25:16

No, it's not. Oh, my fae says

25:18

I have advantage on

25:21

against being charmed. And

25:24

can't put me to sleep. Well,

25:27

that sounds perfect. But

25:29

look, they couldn't help, right? much. much.

25:31

That is exactly of what I spoke. Yeah. Yeah, can't

25:33

Good work. All right.

25:36

Yes. So here's the mansion, the smiley face

25:38

thing on the map to the

25:40

Northeast, It is on a block

25:43

all on its own. And we

25:45

will be staying in an inn the

25:47

Southwest here. I will pass my map

25:50

around if any of you would

25:52

like to sort of see where

25:54

we have noted things thus far.

25:56

You can copy it down if

25:58

you will. I I don't. necessarily

26:00

too much about you understanding

26:02

exactly where things are. But

26:04

should we get separated? This

26:07

will be direly important for the

26:09

fog be thick. It will be

26:11

difficult to get from building

26:13

to building if we are surrounded

26:15

by monsters in the fog. And

26:18

many of these creatures seem to be able

26:20

to get around without sight at all. Wait,

26:24

no, like was surrounded by monsters.

26:26

Is that the quality of

26:28

these monsters? Well, quality I

26:30

have only seen the flesh bats

26:33

in packs. Mostly I know about

26:35

long, creatures that are much

26:37

like people who are mind-thrawled alone,

26:39

But there are the flesh bats.

26:41

Yes. I

26:43

think maybe pink bats covered

26:45

viscera. And they're like

26:48

bats. The Flesh bats. you

26:50

know, flesh bats. All right. We've all

26:52

heard of them. Um, that

26:54

be new to Delsmith. That might be

26:56

be flesh bats. Have I have I

26:58

heard of flesh bats, Dan? Uh,

27:01

do a history check or an animal handling

27:03

check. I I will let you choose. Mostly

27:08

thinking Chris, if any of you want to put on this. Sure.

27:10

Sure. Chris, Uh,

27:14

22 animal handling. animal handling. Hot balls.

27:16

That's a good one. Hot

27:19

balls somewhere the city. Back

27:22

about balls is dirty. Yeah. some dude I'm going to go

27:25

clean it up. Well, Well, about I'll just

27:27

give it it to you, Chris. That's 20.

27:29

you beat a 20. These

27:31

are, uh, sounds like not

27:33

normal bats. They've

27:36

been altered by necromancy. But

27:38

he's acting like they're not. I just wanted to is he

27:40

just being cavalier or. He's absolutely cavalier.

27:42

In fact, you look at

27:44

his clothing, you you know, way he

27:46

twirls his dagger. You cavalier. might think

27:48

his specialty is swashbuckling. That's

27:51

all right. He a a thief. He He he is

27:54

not necessarily swashbuckling. Yeah. He's good

27:56

with his hands, but he is not.

27:58

he is not. not perhaps as sneaky

28:00

as he needs to be to

28:02

be So,

28:04

so we're clear It's

28:06

not really missed where occasionally go

28:08

crazy and murder each other Which is

28:10

kind of what it sounded like It sounds

28:12

like instead that is a quad that is

28:14

a thing But it's also just filled

28:17

with monsters Well, they come

28:19

up from the caves. I believe

28:21

what is happening if I I may,

28:24

my friend, Is

28:26

that normal creatures,

28:28

animals? relatively monsters

28:30

that the town were once able to

28:32

handle on their own are now being

28:34

mutated Creatures that

28:36

are in the thicker parts of the

28:38

swamp perhaps to the dire that came

28:40

up from the Fizure. These creatures

28:42

have mutated and changed and become

28:45

monsters Those bats once

28:47

normal cave bats, flesh now

28:49

boiling, fur long gone Yeah,

28:52

and people are still living

28:54

here And fog subsides. It's always

28:56

It's 24 seven. seven It's it's always

28:59

thick. Yes. The people

29:01

here seem like they are. It's

29:03

always a bad, bad, bad. That's

29:06

what I meant I

29:12

was stonering it up for you. Thank you you.

29:14

Yes. people here. You think they would leave

29:16

and say I mean the fortune teller on the edge

29:18

of town I believe Kim looked at me like do

29:20

it in character. Well, I'm trying to stay in

29:22

character as long as I can Yes.

29:24

Yes, those of you on the edge of

29:26

town like us now.

29:28

We're standing outside of the Galendale

29:30

Galleria. We are at Water Village. No, just kidding.

29:33

just kidding. That's where the

29:35

Glendale Anyway, anyway, thank you.

29:38

Frogtown, everybody. So now

29:40

we are on the edge of town

29:42

I believe because Glendale is not

29:45

in the thickest part of

29:47

the fog. She is not incredibly overcome.

29:49

Overcome as I said the slime

29:51

to the southwest is poor part of

29:53

town It is often a

29:55

poor person on their own who

29:58

is hit with the thrall. Does

30:00

that make sense? Do you understand

30:02

it's the thick part? And that has led

30:04

to more wealthy folk to the north

30:06

they are immune. It does

30:08

seem there's a certain amount of town

30:10

pride. We all, as you may have noticed

30:13

in your travels, quite far from the nearest

30:15

other town. Folks may not feel they

30:17

have the means to move. All

30:21

right. So where you saying we should go

30:23

first, the N Or El? L? Yes, you, again, I

30:25

can pass my map around if anyone needs

30:27

to see, but the Inn is near

30:30

the fountain, near the center of town, the dried

30:32

fountain. And then we are sort of

30:34

in the shadow of the mansion on the hill.

30:39

Okay. well, yeah, You

30:41

everybody up for sticking together and and

30:43

to the N? Shall we head to the N?

30:45

Let's do it. You

30:47

guys kind of scoot your

30:49

way around and get to

30:51

this circular road in the

30:54

middle of town there. You You of

30:56

wander up a little bit towards the

30:58

fountain. It towards looks like it used to

31:00

be a fountain that had water coming

31:02

out of it, but you can see

31:05

there's crusted slime around the parts of

31:07

the fountain that used to have. little

31:09

openings where water would, you know,

31:12

come out like at the Americana. And-

31:15

we're walking walking, just you know, I'm

31:17

going to cast a spell

31:19

on myself. Okay. Just you know, it's called

31:21

gift of alacrity. I just had touch

31:23

myself and- I the word alacrity. That

31:26

means you're extra dexterous or or something.

31:28

It gives me for eight hours.

31:31

I get to add

31:34

a D8 to initiative. initiative take

31:36

place. Cool. You touch yourself

31:38

when you think about it. I mean, when

31:41

I think about it, I touch myself.

31:45

I honestly do. I

31:49

touch myself, guys. It's vinyl Lil

31:52

Peepers to get a closer look

31:54

at the fountain everyone else is walking

31:56

around it. I think

31:59

there are- It looks like old

32:01

coins stuck to the bottom in the

32:03

slime where there used to be

32:05

water. I hesitate to scrape my fingers

32:07

through this thick cursed slime, but

32:09

if anyone is looking for spare change.

32:12

The slime is cursed or it's

32:14

more like residue from the mist.

32:16

It looks like the mist the

32:18

slime might be familiar substances from,

32:21

again, same curse and it's almost

32:23

as if it's evaporated slime

32:25

that hangs thick. in

32:27

the air the bottom of the fountain which is

32:29

dry does have this like

32:32

snot kind of substance on the bottom

32:34

of it. You can sort of

32:36

see the outlines of coins. stuck

32:38

in it and And little people says, I

32:40

have no interest in those. Shoo, You might

32:42

to take a taste. that. really I'm

32:45

I'm getting very nervous. What do What

32:47

do you you guys think? we get, mean those

32:49

those are coins in the fountain, right? We

32:54

might be stealing a kid's wish. Yeah,

32:56

I know. I'm good with it. All

32:59

right. All right. Alright. Well,

33:01

if you think we're selling a kid's I don't want to know, you

33:03

know. upset you. All

33:05

right. right, well, off we

33:07

go to the end. You guys

33:09

head around the road up to

33:11

the northeast corner there the

33:13

end. It's called the pasted almond.

33:17

You open the large wooden door

33:19

and as soon as you go

33:21

inside, you get a sense of

33:23

why people might indeed be staying

33:25

in town. Inside it's as

33:27

if the fog doesn't exist at

33:29

all. There's a big roaring warm hearse. A

33:32

lot of folks are drinking.

33:34

It is evening. Yeah. and it's merry.

33:37

it's not well populated. There are only

33:39

about a dozen or so folks

33:41

here, but they're drinking happily, having conversations

33:44

lighthearted. Cool. Yeah.

33:47

And you may uh I'll

33:49

now roll an insight check to size

33:51

up the inside of the pasted almond. A

33:58

8 plus 8, 16. Nice

34:00

19 plus six 25. Nineteen

34:03

plus six, twenty -five. Oh,

34:05

wow. Detectives

34:08

folks, detective care 16 plus

34:10

two, eighteen. You all

34:12

did very well. And And of course, Shalhoub

34:15

it. Is it

34:17

Shalom? Boogity boogity. Whatever you ask Shalom. Shalab,

34:19

Shalab. I found out

34:21

I was I found out I was mispronouncing

34:24

the spider and token forever. I actually

34:26

love already this campaign that you

34:28

of us direction.

34:30

I got to say that's the fact that

34:32

you did want us all to do Yeah,

34:35

man. I I wouldn't picked what I

34:37

picked. Mine isn't detective, but

34:39

but like I I want to pick the theme for

34:41

some that up. That's cool. One of

34:43

the reasons little would tell you

34:45

guys might want this valuable

34:47

sword is because you are a

34:49

little squishy as a a party goes.

34:51

He recognizes that none of you are

34:53

bruisers. This

34:56

is a fencing sword

34:58

called the needle of umberly. Umberley,

35:01

it was made by

35:03

cultists. So umberly I'll get

35:05

to in a second. think if

35:08

he's telling you all, and I certainly saw

35:10

Chris Tom and Raisin Ibra, I'll let you do a check

35:12

for that. But first, the insight. Yeah,

35:15

you all look around and it seems like everyone

35:17

here, for the most part, is like upper middle class or

35:19

wealthy. What were you were about the sword though? I'll

35:21

get to that in a about second. We

35:24

did a role before we started really getting into the sword. So

35:26

I want to I want of elaborate on that before,

35:29

and my tangent it were. Yeah,

35:32

sizing up the place. You you note that a large

35:35

variety of folk here. You think there must

35:37

have been a lot of of who used to

35:39

come in from the sea. And

35:41

so folks here are from

35:43

many different areas originally. There

35:47

even like species you guys

35:49

have never seen before. Oh

35:51

really? Cool. Like Like Like what? we see?

35:54

I think it would stick out the

35:56

most that there is a fox folk at

35:59

the bar. Okay. None

36:01

of you have ever seen Fox folk. folk.

36:03

Is it a Foxy lady. It

36:05

is a woman. woman. It is a woman. Oh Oh,

36:07

guys. Fox

36:10

made the goats. Who

36:12

would like to take a

36:14

moment before we start talking to

36:16

the Fox to reflect on the needle

36:18

of Umbrily? Anybody curious about that?

36:20

Yeah, I'd like to know more

36:22

about it. Sure. You may choose.

36:24

You may choose. to know more. So

36:26

you two different kinds of thoughts.

36:29

You can either well, history check religion.

36:31

check. Okay. And

36:35

And there will be a lot of puzzles because

36:38

you guys are squishy. There'll be a lot of doesn't

36:40

matter. I'll show checks in

36:43

addition to combat. There will be

36:45

will but but I wrote low. anybody

36:47

else. I else? I got a 20. Oh,

36:49

nice. Oh, nice. What Oh boy. scandal? What was

36:51

about this kind of natural? I'll do that on

36:53

history, I guess. Okay. Okay.

36:57

Either guys interested or you mean if you don't have high

36:59

bonuses, you don't have to roll. but. Oh no,

37:02

I'm definitely interested in what happens. Blaine and was in I've

37:04

done anything yet. What was it? was were

37:06

talking about? It was in history. There's

37:08

a mystery or religion or religion. religion.

37:10

Or religion. She's

37:12

18. 18, That thing. 20. I

37:15

fucking love that. I'm sorry. Yeah.

37:18

you would actually kind of actually

37:20

on this, blank on both Both you

37:22

Blaine and John Blake. Now,

37:24

Uh, what you, which one did you pick? History.

37:27

Oh, so you both got a high, Oh,

37:30

you see, history high history right? So I

37:32

we know. Umbrally is known as

37:34

the sea bitch. She She is

37:37

vile, evil, evil, goddess of

37:39

the ocean. I love

37:41

it. Um, you, you

37:43

think it is likely

37:46

that. the the shitty, I

37:48

think it's an Althor Valorax. If If you

37:50

come up with a drown name, you need to

37:52

look it up sometimes. Yeah. Alathor is Alarax.

37:54

Althor is nice. I'm so nice. I can crush you. as

37:56

smart as as hell. My notes were closed when I

37:59

when I it. Allosaurus for

38:01

the second time ever. But

38:04

yeah, like it seems like it's

38:06

being a seaside town. It's not surprising

38:08

that there's an evil draw on

38:10

the hill with a fucking

38:12

evil needle sword. Oh, OK.

38:15

So maybe they deserve to

38:17

have that stolen from them. Sure.

38:19

Friends. Huh? Yeah. Right. Is

38:22

she played by Robert? I was for chaos. Yeah.

38:24

So the evil draw on the hill needle

38:27

umberly. sounds like this would be also

38:29

a good rogue weapon. so even though neither

38:31

of we know if it's magical or

38:33

if it's oh, definitely is. Yeah. It would

38:35

a lot if you get stuck

38:37

in combat, not stuck. But if

38:39

you have to fight YouTube

38:42

rogues, one of you would be able to use it for sure. And

38:44

for And little says oh,

38:47

the mansion is probably full of things we could use. In

38:50

fact, I don't know how much

38:52

of you all feel like scoundrels. I

38:54

would not suggest a thing, but this is an

38:56

evil person. I personally would

38:58

not be opposed to say, well, let's just we'll

39:00

we'll leave it vanilla tying

39:02

them up and looting the entire

39:04

mansion. What's the

39:07

law enforcement like in town? Like assume

39:09

people are kind of on edge.

39:11

I would assume there's patrols and guards

39:13

and stuff. Yes, the town

39:15

guards have actually been doing

39:18

their best, but they have become

39:20

quite grim in the

39:22

face of such adversity. They have managed to

39:24

kill monsters. what they are

39:26

doing now is encircling the

39:28

swamp and the shoreline at

39:31

all times. There are station guards every

39:33

10 feet in in those,

39:36

those areas. out there. Holy

39:38

cats. Yes. It is because there is

39:40

not a lot of open space.

39:42

They're able to do such a thing.

39:44

They, they, you know, but on the roads,

39:46

so to speak, it's, it's not

39:48

like they stand every 10 feet in

39:51

front of houses, but the roads

39:53

usually have somewhere between six

39:55

eight guards. And if

39:57

you look where the is. That's

40:01

a I would say a total of about

40:03

20 guards stationed there at all times.

40:05

It's quite a long shoreline, but there

40:07

a lot of buildings along the shoreline,

40:09

and there's some rocks and cliffs and such,

40:11

but I would say about

40:13

40 guards up and down. But

40:15

not near the mansion. Yeah. Yeah, what does

40:17

he know about the does he know about the mansion?

40:19

do we save the people from the

40:21

people from this curse? Because you talk talk about loot,

40:24

but you also mentioned the Fisher. I am happy

40:26

to participate in such an adventure, but

40:28

I did want to make sure

40:30

that you felt this would be worth your

40:32

while. So right. Right,

40:34

but But I also don't want

40:36

to steal from nice people

40:38

and And it's well, dude's a

40:40

tool bed. of towards our a as

40:42

they say bag of tools. Okay

40:45

a sack of dorks. Drow

40:48

a pretty magical though, right? Yeah.

40:51

Now you know, Seattle, if

40:53

you go to Dick's burgers, you can actually

40:55

get a bag of Dick's. It's

40:58

so fun. Yeah, Sometimes have a couple of

41:00

Dix and a fun to ask for a

41:02

bag of Dix. Yes. I

41:04

tell people to go eat a bag of tell people to

41:06

go eat a bag of Dix. Yeah. For For

41:08

like a family owned business. is. It is.

41:10

that really cool? Sometimes you find a a

41:12

dick in your onion rings. Yeah, that's Yeah. That's

41:14

good luck. That's All right, nice good luck. back.

41:17

All So smokey dick. Well,

41:19

Slayer dick. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh

41:21

yeah. That's right. Slayer.

41:24

Wow. The

41:27

The mansion has

41:30

traps and there are at

41:33

least a couple of private security

41:35

guards, Hmm.

41:37

he says he says he

41:40

between all of you. we're

41:42

all quite clever. I I believe we could the

41:45

traps, maybe take out the guards, not

41:47

opposed to murder. Not

41:49

much of the murdering type, but boy, I

41:51

have slid a neck two in my day. Vile

41:53

folk whose necks I'll focus to

41:55

be cut. white. we have

41:57

to worry about worry people? coming

42:00

after us Like what I'm asking

42:02

about guards and stuff Like let's

42:04

say we carry out your

42:06

plan and Letter a fool. And

42:08

well, I mean, you know, it's the big

42:10

fancy house on the hill. People are going to

42:12

notice. Does that does that mean that we're

42:15

going to create a manhunt? Like

42:17

what? I'm just trying to get a

42:19

sense of what's the law Why you think

42:21

are going to notice? what if we're stealthy

42:23

it? Well, here's the nice part. Alethor Zalarex is

42:25

a loner, a wealthy hermit up on

42:28

the hill. So he does not have family

42:30

a lot of people in town

42:32

who miss him. So speak, however, he

42:34

is quite wealthy and he does

42:36

have guards. I think if we were

42:38

to, you know, basically loot his

42:40

entire mansion, it would be helpful

42:42

if we were to pin it

42:45

on monsters somehow, pin it on the

42:47

curse, Somehow it on an enthralled

42:49

poor person, not to be classist, but

42:51

they are getting enthralled all the

42:53

time. You keep that. Yeah, that's gross. I

42:56

say we pin it on Glendale. Oh,

42:58

she did me that my entire life was

43:00

terrible. I should say that when I paid her in advance,

43:02

she told me in advance. She did

43:04

say she would be using the money to

43:06

get the fuck out of here. So

43:08

I don't know if she'll be here long,

43:10

but that might help. You could it on her

43:12

as she leaves. town. Yeah. And that's why she's

43:14

leaving. Hey, go get her. Oh, it's suspicious. Is

43:17

that why you're here? Because if people

43:19

are leaving, it's easier for you to rip off.

43:22

Now? No. I'm here because there's a

43:25

fog and I thought I could

43:27

prance about No one would see

43:29

me diving in out of the windows, stealing pies,

43:31

as were. So yeah, guy loves fog. Love

43:34

fog. It's great for

43:36

obfuscation. No. should

43:39

we go check out that mansion maybe?

43:41

do we need to? Well, I

43:43

do think we should perhaps arrest. It I

43:45

is getting late. pasted

43:47

almond has very cheap.

43:51

Again, Again, I think we're safe as long as we one

43:53

of the larger rooms with multiple beds. Yeah.

43:57

And then some

43:59

stay away. week. I would

44:01

not hate getting a drink and sizing up

44:03

the folk here. There are some wealthier folk. Perhaps

44:05

we could get some intel other

44:07

things too. You know,

44:10

Are you OK?

44:13

I'm a little excited by all the gold. I

44:15

can I excited get jingling. And I'm

44:17

a thief, but

44:19

you're like obsessed it. You know, you

44:22

know, you're a little profile. profile. Listen,

44:24

there's a lot of jigglypods.

44:26

to buy I'm a little bit

44:28

of a jigglypods. Little peepers. a

44:30

jig. Little peepers. Little peepers.

44:32

Little peepers. Cried boner. You

44:34

heard me. I was like, well, I've found

44:37

your favorite. Cried

44:39

boner was the name of my

44:41

horse. Caught and cried boner.

44:45

It's like you knew her. her, Anyway,

44:47

would any of like to sign

44:49

to the bar and partake in libation?

44:52

Sure, Not if you say

44:54

it like that. Partaking in

44:56

libations? Are there

44:58

other answers? I'm trying to talk this quick in

45:00

New York City. Yes,

45:03

I am. What that? Oh, no,

45:05

nothing. nothing. no, I'm sorry. Toodles. I'm listening. Twiddin'?

45:08

No, no, I'm no, I'm good. Twernt?

45:11

OK. So, twerks It's like your NPCs

45:13

get Get more and

45:15

more annoying. Of course. I'm

45:17

being a tough... Biggetop.

45:25

He on over the bar,

45:27

his little halfling self, with his

45:29

giant head, ears and tusks.

45:31

I I forget he's a little

45:33

elephant this and time. tusks. time. Tiny two

45:35

legged elephant. very moo dang vibes. I'm trying to

45:38

make people think they're drunk. make Don't make

45:40

I know weird. I know a dang's hippo elephant, but

45:42

a tiny pack of urine. No, jerk.

45:44

He He hops on up a a bar stool. What?

45:46

He you Are you anti Nice history.

45:48

It's bitey. me, it's That's weird.

45:50

If I was f***ing hippos... was not saying bad.

45:53

was Hippos will f***ing murder you. I know. if I was a

45:55

If I was a piggy hippo, I would bite everything just

45:57

to show off I I still knew how to.

46:00

do it. They're hungry hungry. Yeah. See,

46:04

nice reference. I

46:07

saw a bunny on my way up here. Those

46:09

single fucking kill you too. That wasn't

46:11

a bunny. I went to a cave once.

46:15

You No, no,

46:17

no, no. Nice. You

46:21

see a little peepers some coins down on

46:23

the counter, pick up a tankard

46:25

with his trunk and start

46:27

pouring booze into his mouth. It's

46:30

tapping a little tune on the

46:32

bar. What tune is that there friend? I I

46:34

can play that. Oh, that's a little

46:36

tune I call Umber Lee's March. You

46:39

know a song called Umber March?

46:41

Umberley's March, indeed. The bitch two

46:43

is what they used to call it. What

46:46

the fuck? It's an evil dance

46:49

for an evil God and evil

46:51

cult. It's something you pick up

46:53

when you rob cults along

46:55

the coast. I'm not saying I

46:57

indulge in this tune often, but

46:59

we are talking of Umber Lee And

47:02

I once was a pirate. I

47:05

I just think you're really drawing

47:07

a tremendous amount of attention, Is

47:10

that so? Is that so? fun.

47:12

you keep saying it. We are all

47:15

having fun. You keep saying Umber Lee and

47:17

we're trying to get an Umberley sword.

47:19

think it's maybe not a great

47:21

trail that you're leaving. Uh, Chris,

47:23

do an insight check. Sorry, that

47:26

I didn't count. It's

47:29

probably not going It's be good. be good.

47:32

It's a four plus five nine.

47:34

You scan the room and

47:36

can't tell how many people may

47:38

have noticed. And

47:40

That's keep

47:43

it down. All right. I'll repair

47:45

it very well. I very was trying

47:47

to, you know, get some vibes

47:49

going. And And some again, I feel

47:51

like I'm blending in fairly well

47:53

amongst the merriment in here. And And

47:55

amongst then do have some new friends

47:57

to celebrate with. Three foot tall elephant

47:59

the bar. are screaming, umbrally, umbrally, umberling. Well, would

48:01

you all like to raise

48:03

a a glass to adventure? Sure, yes! To

48:05

adventure. Maybe I'll just try. let one

48:07

of you be the loud

48:09

one. To adventure. No, you

48:11

be the loud one. the loud one. Okay.

48:13

Adventure! Click! So,

48:17

guys all back.

48:21

The The bar, which you sort of

48:23

came up to and had a

48:25

drink at, just for merriment, but

48:27

to size everyone up,

48:29

has many

48:31

in it. Although there are

48:33

variety of folk here, it appears

48:35

elves are the primary species

48:38

that live here in

48:40

Delzmeth. They're

48:42

mostly wood elves, and

48:44

it kind of makes you realize looking

48:47

around the town it does look like

48:49

they're elves. It

48:51

does look like they're sort of

48:53

a rustic elven vibe

48:55

much of the town. looked

48:57

like the fountain, for instance, was

48:59

inspired by kind of wild

49:02

architecture. It It wasn't like

49:05

like sconian. it wasn't

49:07

gothic. It wasn't sharp edges.

49:09

Everything looked like it was handcrafted.

49:12

Um, But Everyone

49:14

here in the bar is pretty

49:16

wealthy looking. You're seeing a lot of

49:19

gold necklaces, diamond earrings. The

49:21

fox at the bar

49:23

does have a sword on

49:25

her belt. So you

49:27

do that there is an adventurer

49:29

in this fox. If

49:32

you guys want. I

49:35

could maybe like myself like in the

49:38

corner. in in terms

49:40

of like focus, and I could play

49:42

songs, maybe I could maybe steal some

49:44

attention. If you guys wanna be Phoebe,

49:46

I don't know know if you wanna talk

49:48

to people. Get some practice, of thievery. Yeah,

49:50

or Or to that, you know,

49:52

fox lighting, whatever you wanna do, but maybe

49:54

I could. Get some attention

49:56

off of you. Yeah, how's that

49:58

sound? Yeah, I'll talk to

50:00

the Fox lady or Throw whatever you want. Yeah. She

50:03

seems interesting. Maybe she'll join us. Yeah.

50:08

I'll just of cruise around the room on

50:10

my own. Cool. Why Why

50:12

don't you roll a a check? Brian, Jeffery

50:15

Spicoli. Jesus.

50:22

Oh That's

50:24

a nine, but I've

50:26

got a fucking eight right

50:29

perception. Nice. So 17. Holy

50:31

shit. Yeah. I'm

50:33

very perceptive. There's

50:36

certainly no locks and here,

50:39

Um, but just of

50:41

of around the room. you know, there

50:43

are halflings, dwarves. There's a

50:45

minotaur here. There's a a

50:47

bug bear here. Folks you

50:49

might not normally expect in polite society,

50:51

but probably came in, you know, on on a

50:53

boat at some point. Do I see anybody who might

50:55

have uh, coins

50:58

cash or, or, and can it, do I see

51:00

lumps in, uh, yeah, I mean, even

51:02

the bug wallets and you know, that kind

51:04

of thing in there, even the bug

51:06

bear who you, who's kind of known for those

51:08

people are kind of goblin folk you

51:10

know, are not exactly polite, has these

51:12

very fine braids in his beard and is

51:15

wearing wearing like very

51:18

beautiful leather. Do

51:21

I any chains hanging anybody that

51:23

would have like a

51:25

pocket watch or, you You know, yeah,

51:28

the is wearing like a doublet.

51:30

Looks like might be a bard

51:32

and has what looks like

51:34

a pocket watch chain out of pocket. I'm

51:36

going going to, I'm going to go it.

51:38

All right. So tip up to the

51:40

Minotaur. Uh, Let's get

51:42

a sleight of hand check. Right. Yeah, sure. Can

51:45

I because I'm playing, can

51:47

I give him like or

51:50

something? Like, Like is there a performance

51:52

check? Certainly. you roll, if

51:54

you can beat an 18 on

51:56

a performance check. uh,

51:58

will do you have to. touch someone to cast

52:00

guidance. Do

52:02

have to touch? Yes. but

52:04

I'm not casting. she Jesus Christ.

52:07

but guidance is touch. yes. So,

52:09

okay. can't do guidance from a

52:11

distance. This is already by. Already

52:13

by, but here's the thing. here's the thing. How

52:16

How high you roll on your performance check? Seven.

52:18

All right, so I'm gonna It doesn't even

52:20

I gonna won't give you give you but

52:22

what was your your sleight of hand check, Brian? Fucking 18

52:24

plus 10. Oh my. Did

52:27

you get a 30 sleight of hand check?

52:30

Holy shit. 28. Shit. Oh,

52:32

my God. This watch

52:34

wasn't even when he walked in. I don't

52:37

know. It's been mind the

52:39

entire evening. He's talking. to. Can

52:41

I just make him jump from his pocket

52:43

into my pocket? He's talking

52:45

to a fur bowl, which is this

52:47

very tall woodland face feature. I

52:49

this around this new character. And

52:52

he just starts. He just starts cackling. And like height of

52:54

his cackling, you just kind of yeah.

52:56

And you're 10 feet away before even

52:58

looks remotely. He he no fucking idea. What

53:01

time is it? I'll

53:03

tell you what time is. You

53:05

shouted as loudly and proudly as a little peepers

53:07

was away himself no one

53:09

even notices. So which,

53:11

which of you two are both of you

53:13

sidling up to the fox? Is it just

53:15

you Ken? If someone else wants to join me, but I'm just to. Why

53:17

are you up to? Ken said you was going to. I'm going to

53:20

of stand off to the side. Meow.

53:22

gonna, Gonna a visible wing man. I'm gonna

53:24

get another shot of of whiskey my whiskey.

53:26

for my whiskey. See, wow. Yeah. wow. Yeah. Yeah.

53:28

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Meow. Meow. sit next to

53:30

the shalab you sit next to the Fox. I'm going to get a whiskey out later.

53:32

What brings you to town? Oh,

53:34

I'm here looking for work. What's your

53:37

name, stranger? Shalab. nice

53:39

to meet you. I'm I'm just,

53:41

name is Fen. Oh, Fen. Nice

53:43

Nice to meet Yeah, you. Ben D'Airstrat. What? Oh.

53:48

You're sister Squire. Boody. What

53:51

sort of work are you looking for? It

53:54

depends, so I might look to

53:56

be someone's private security. That

53:59

be cool. Who's your friend

54:01

over there at the bar? Which

54:03

one, this This kitty kid? one with

54:05

the heavy the heavy brow and the cigarette and the

54:07

kitty cat whiskers. That's,

54:09

That's, uh, that's Sam. Now

54:13

are you saying Sam an accent

54:15

or? or? No, no, saying name's Sam. Okay.

54:20

S I -M. I see

54:22

him eyeing this. Is he up

54:24

to something? I don't know.

54:26

This he's perfectly safe. Is

54:30

that right? Interesting. Interesting.

54:34

Well, what are you here in town for?

54:38

We have come to

54:40

hopefully help with

54:42

the fog situation. Is that

54:44

right? you here

54:46

to save Delzneth? No, if we

54:48

can. We'd love to. You

54:52

Well, to the future of

54:55

Delzneth. she raises her wine glass. Then

54:58

toast. All right, poof.

55:01

You'll have to let me know if that

55:03

turns into a job, so to speak. I'll

55:05

talk to my friends. Very

55:07

well. Uh, the, the

55:09

starts to pick up

55:11

the energy. even

55:13

more, Twin it. And uh,

55:16

though it wasn't a very high roll performance

55:19

check, the music was

55:21

the thing that was missing from

55:23

the energy of the room. Okay. And

55:26

everyone starts partying and we'll have

55:28

to see how that evolves on

55:30

our next episode of

55:32

nerd, Pope six party Sam. Six party,

55:34

yeah. All right. All right, Episode two,

55:36

we are learning the history

55:38

of Delzneth. Our new friend,

55:40

Mr. Peepers wants to steal a

55:42

sword from a mansion. We're learning what happened

55:44

to the animals inside the fog. It's a a

55:47

a sea bitch's sword. Mr. Peepers wants us

55:49

to get a room for the night We're

55:51

the joint and the people inside it and And is

55:53

Mr. Peepers a tiny elephant. Yeah. I fucking love

55:55

this game. I

55:58

love that you call him Mr. Peepers. Peepers It's Lil

56:00

Peepers, but I never want you to fix it.

56:04

Mr. Peepers, my son. right. This is Mr. Peepers.

56:07

Hey, y 'all, check out DanTelfer.com. Hire

56:09

me to do Dungeon Mastery stuff.

56:11

I've really been doing a lot

56:13

of very fun, unique stuff. And

56:15

I'm on on .com

56:18

as well if you want to hire me the easy

56:20

way. Yeah, Check him

56:22

out, man. You guys know that he kicks

56:24

ass as a DM. And he And we've

56:27

said before, having

56:29

teach kids is probably still fun. Fucking

56:31

awesome. And I'm running

56:33

the four games besides Nerd Poker

56:35

now. So I'm freelancing, I

56:37

I games have a a separate like

56:39

of continents and cities and stuff

56:41

like that. So I have it

56:43

fleshed out for y 'all. Lane, do stuff have any literature

56:45

coming up or no? Anything for

56:48

an amazing? No, nothing coming

56:50

up. Not till March, I believe. I didn't know if

56:52

you guys did a Christmas thing in

56:54

town. there a Valentine's show? No,

56:56

not this year. year. It was

56:58

it Dr. Z Christmas show. Oh, yeah,

57:00

Dr. Z Christmas show. December, December. We're

57:02

doing fucking. Dr.

57:05

Cornelius. It's so fucking funny.

57:07

And then it's he's like

57:10

Hollywood obsessed. so it's like, yeah, he's

57:12

like an old Hollywood. It's like

57:14

like doing Merle with Dr.

57:16

Z. And And he's got, yeah,

57:18

fun and Dana Gould, one of the funniest

57:20

comics to ever be. And to be

57:22

a comic. He was on on our

57:25

Patreon. Yeah, I know. Let guess. was it it Dynasty

57:27

typewriters? version? Yeah, Dynasty typewriter on December.

57:29

And he puts on like hours

57:31

of fucking makeup. Oh, well, yeah. Two or

57:33

three hours. It's It's full on It's full on.

57:36

20 Yeah. Yeah. How long does

57:38

it take, Do know? He's got a

57:40

few versions. a typewriter few versions, so there's

57:42

a quick makeup. So you can have longer. Did

57:44

you guys see me in makeup? I'm

57:47

going to plug. You look beautiful. No, did

57:49

you see that thing? Did I not send it to you?

57:51

I know. So Christmas

57:55

up, I'll drop date. But did an episode

57:57

of Lopez versus Lo. Oh, uh already noticed, oh, if I

57:59

miss squelching, he does with the daughter and

58:01

it was fucking so much fun.

58:03

Al Madrigal, an old buddy of mine

58:05

is on the show. Oh Oh, Oh

58:07

I love Al Madrigal. Al's the

58:09

best. I don't know him but he's

58:12

hilarious. We're both Bay Area comics

58:14

and I've known him for a long

58:16

time and they

58:18

asked me to play a

58:20

mall Santa. everybody

58:23

that day or when I

58:25

actually shot it was like how

58:28

you never played Santa before? Like

58:30

were blown away and I'll pass it

58:32

around and that's Yeah,

58:35

yeah, yeah. We saw that one. Put it

58:37

on one of it on one of

58:39

the threads that with me. But oh man, that's fucking

58:41

must. Like Like, uh, you post that

58:44

on socially, everyone? No, no. Yeah.

58:47

But it started next day. Yeah. gonna air

58:49

soon. gonna Yeah Yeah. later soon.

58:51

And And once it airs, I'll I'll put

58:53

everywhere. But But yeah, the who

58:55

did my beard, I'll plug

58:57

her, I'll I'll look up her

58:59

name and her again. But she

59:01

was a walking dead makeup

59:04

She's worked with great Nick and Tarot forever.

59:07

So So she crushed this. She's not a

59:09

regular makeup person on I his

59:11

Lopez, but they wanted to do it. It's

59:13

good. Yeah. they took

59:15

my beard and then just added

59:17

to it It's layered and layer and layered.

59:20

I was sitting there. long did it take to

59:22

comb out all the sandwiches? An

59:24

hour and a half. Mother fucker. An

59:27

hour and a half. I

59:30

was like, it was like an hour and a a half,

59:32

two hour makeup. Yeah. was It's

59:34

so fun. I love doing

59:36

that. I love doing that. I've done before and I've done

59:38

some other shit. Yeah. And Devil's those rejects

59:40

they had, they did a face cast to

59:43

me, like, which is, Have

59:45

you ever done that? I used to do

59:47

it to myself when I was a kid.

59:49

No way. Yeah, Yeah. ultimate in my I would take alternate in

59:51

my face cast. Ken, what are you doing you doing Anyone

59:54

you doing are you doing in there? Ken, yeah.

59:57

Jesus. Ken Lilbrick Wilbrick Baker, darling,

59:59

to be real. make your wife to

1:00:01

make out doing that. Like, that. yeah. Oh,

1:00:03

I know. Especially. Steven Seagal. Oh, Wayne

1:00:05

Toth me that. Well, there was an

1:00:07

actor in one of the Zombie's movies

1:00:09

that I won't name, but Rob Wayne

1:00:11

Toth like it's freaked out. You can

1:00:14

get very claustrophobic. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I

1:00:16

thought it was fun, you know, because

1:00:18

I wanted to do it. I got

1:00:20

super hot Florida, of course, but I

1:00:22

do that for everything, like a driver's

1:00:24

task. How

1:00:26

you go to Ralph's? Where's the bomb?

1:00:32

So anyway, Lopez versus Lopez

1:00:34

coming up Christmas episode, look

1:00:36

for that. And then I've

1:00:39

got a little bit of

1:00:41

road, I'm in

1:00:43

Tacoma for a week in

1:00:45

December. And then I'll

1:00:47

a couple of off for Christmas. And

1:00:50

be back on the

1:00:52

road in January with

1:00:54

JT Haberset in Denver,

1:00:56

Brian.com for tour dates

1:00:58

And pick up Merch.

1:01:00

nerdpokermerch.com or whatever it

1:01:02

is. is. nerdpokerpod.com/merch. Yeah,

1:01:04

Yeah, yeah. that nerdpokerpod.com/merch. merch.

1:01:06

Merch. At Herb Schwartz

1:01:08

only fans pint glass.

1:01:10

Yes, please. Gotta get

1:01:12

it. It's full of

1:01:14

jokes. For the holidays.

1:01:16

Yeah, for your horny

1:01:18

little holidays. Blame.

1:01:20

we attribute the success Save

1:01:22

mankind for life. we're joining

1:01:24

us on this episode You

1:01:27

got walls in a roof. Well. All

1:01:31

the next nerd poker. America search

1:01:33

for a new top singer is

1:01:35

down to Sam, Dan and Chris.

1:01:37

Only one can take the golden

1:01:40

mic. Can do a leap help?

1:01:42

Probably not. All of this, and

1:01:44

Brian's doctor says they're going to

1:01:46

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