0:00

My brother went to prison for

0:02

four and a half years selling

0:04

drugs to an undercover cop. All

0:07

the excess money that my parents

0:09

had, which wasn't a lot, went

0:11

towards legal fees and the stress

0:14

around having less money, was just

0:16

felt. And these little memories and

0:18

moments created wounds, was just felt.

0:21

And these little memories and moments

0:23

created wounds within me. Nintendo was

0:25

big back when I was a

0:28

kid. We couldn't afford it. It

0:30

shaped my belief

0:33

system around

0:35

money where

0:37

I didn't

0:39

understand it. There

0:42

was never enough.

0:44

How do I

0:46

make money? How

0:48

do I manage

0:51

money? How do

0:53

I invest money?

0:55

I just had

0:57

no clue. It's not

0:59

necessarily just the number in your bank

1:02

account. A lot of the times, it

1:04

has a lot to do with mindset.

1:06

There are some people out there who

1:08

have a lot of zeros in their

1:10

bank accounts, but they have a very

1:12

broke mindset, and very much vice versa,

1:15

folks who might be living paycheck to

1:17

paycheck, but have an abundant mindset.

1:19

So, one of the first steps

1:21

I actually talk about in my

1:23

book, Rich AF, is understanding that

1:26

you need to change your relationship

1:28

with money. And today's guest is

1:30

not only a success in his

1:32

own right, but is an expert

1:34

on helping you create the mindset

1:36

that you want to have the

1:38

life that you deserve. So he's

1:41

the mastermind behind the School of

1:43

Greatness podcast with over 500 million

1:45

downloads. Holy shit. Only it's a

1:47

rebellion now. That's an outdated number.

1:49

Is it? Wow. Okay, okay. Yeah, correct

1:51

me, please. Talk that talk. A New

1:53

York Times best-selling author and a former

1:55

pro athlete, you wouldn't be able to

1:57

tell because he's actually 5-2 in person.

1:59

He just looks really really large on

2:02

camera. I'm gonna start spreading this rumor.

2:04

But this man has interviewed everyone from

2:06

business titans to celebrities and to yours

2:08

truly. But today we are turning the

2:10

tables. I'm hosting. You're answering. Everyone please

2:13

welcome Lewis House. Support for network and

2:15

chill comes from Amazon Pharmacy. The last

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Learn more at health. amazon.com. Thanks

2:45

for having me, appreciate it.

2:47

I'm so glad that we are back

2:49

together. Funny enough, the last time I

2:51

was on your podcast, I was about

2:53

to launch a book and this time

2:55

we're here to celebrate yours and to

2:57

learn a little bit more about how

3:00

to make money easy. Everybody look. Because

3:02

most people make it hard. I mean,

3:04

that's real. That is for sure real.

3:06

And you are a super responsible

3:08

guy. You have super. Okay, listen,

3:10

I'm just spreading rumors on this

3:12

podcast right now. You're 5-2 and

3:15

you're responsible. Yeah, 5-2 responsible.

3:17

And you have a, but in

3:19

fairness, you do a really super

3:21

successful business. And you're putting

3:23

out phenomenal content. Thank you. But.

3:26

Are any of you blew up. People loved

3:28

it. I mean, all the clips got like 20

3:30

million views. We vibe, we have the

3:32

banter. It's true. But since we have

3:34

established that you are the same height, yes, yes,

3:36

we are the exact same height. We're

3:38

like twins. Twins. Couldn't even tell us

3:41

apart. Exactly. But since we've established that

3:43

you are so responsible, I want to

3:45

know. What is the dumbest thing you

3:47

ever spent your money on? Cryptoo. crypto

3:50

tell me why lost over 120 grand

3:52

in some like sub crypto coin like

3:55

in 2020 when everyone was well

3:57

originally I had friends who were getting

3:59

in I don't know if you can

4:01

call it investing, but depending on, yeah,

4:03

I guess, depending, depending, depending how you

4:05

do it, if you do it a

4:08

full time, like eight hours a day,

4:10

I think it's investing. If you're like,

4:12

I'm gonna put money in and just,

4:14

it's gonna go through the moon, then

4:16

I think it's a gamble. I think

4:18

if you're paying attention and you're putting

4:20

your energy and focus on something, it

4:22

could be an investment. Because I know

4:25

some people who would do it full

4:27

time, and they would do it full

4:29

time, full time, and they make a

4:31

living, and they make a living, and

4:33

they make a living, But I was

4:35

like, all right, I'm going to jump

4:37

in. I had friends get into it

4:40

early in 2017, probably, I guess, the

4:42

second wave of it. And I said,

4:44

no, I'm not going to do it.

4:46

Then I got in around 2020, when

4:48

I had all the time of my

4:50

hands sitting around, and everyone's on Zoom

4:52

calls talking about the next kind of

4:55

thing. And I was like, God, I'm

4:57

not going to miss out on this.

4:59

And I put 120 grand into something.

5:01

I had FOMO and I had, I

5:03

mean, listen, I had some extra cash

5:05

too. So I was like, all right,

5:07

let me risk it. I'm willing to

5:10

risk it and lose it. But I

5:12

don't like losing money. It doesn't feel

5:14

good. So I feel dumb for doing

5:16

it now. But then it's like, okay,

5:18

we see some people who make a

5:20

lot. And this is one of the

5:22

reasons why I got into the research

5:25

behind my own money wounds. Like why

5:27

was I chasing money? And I think

5:29

a lot of people try to make

5:31

easy money and rarely does that work.

5:33

And it's not sustainable. Maybe you get

5:35

an easy win. Like maybe you got

5:37

in early on crypto or something and

5:39

it's like, man, you got lucky and

5:42

you got out at the right time

5:44

so you made some money easy. But

5:46

if you keep trying to do that

5:48

same strategy, it's usually not going to

5:50

work long term. And so I think.

5:52

The goal for me was, okay, I

5:54

still have money wounds. Sure, I've been

5:57

good at making money over time, but

5:59

I wasn't always good at making money,

6:01

and I struggled with it. I didn't

6:03

understand money. I was afraid of it.

6:05

I had a lot of scarcity inside

6:07

of me around money. And when I

6:09

found some money mentors early on, I

6:12

started to learn how to monetize my

6:14

skills and how to. be consistent and

6:16

hopefully be more responsible. But I wasn't

6:18

responsible in this crypto thing. And I

6:20

still, it doesn't feel good still today.

6:22

You mentioned your money wounds. Can we

6:24

like roll the tape back like into

6:27

Little Kid Lewis? Like where do you

6:29

think some of those money wounds came

6:31

from? I think everyone has a complex

6:33

childhood. Whether they want to believe it

6:35

or not, even if they have a

6:37

good. family life or they had good

6:39

parents or they lived in a good

6:42

neighborhood you know Bella lived in Massachusetts

6:44

probably had probably had two parents that

6:46

were married live in middle upper class

6:48

in Massachusetts probably went to like maybe

6:50

a private boarding school in high school

6:52

who knows are you profiling my assistant

6:54

little bit but I could be completely

6:56

wrong okay I could be completely wrong

6:59

maybe she went to a public school

7:01

I don't know but she had a

7:03

lot of rich friends I bet she

7:05

had a lot of rich friends I

7:07

bet she had a lot of rich

7:09

friends I'm some rich friends she had

7:11

a lot of rich friends I'm just

7:14

saying people could have a good childhood,

7:16

good family life, good parents, good friends,

7:18

not that many traumas, but still have

7:20

a complex childhood. And our money's story

7:22

really starts to shape our belief system

7:24

around money and our beliefs around everything

7:26

in life. And I believe our beliefs

7:29

dictate or influence our behaviors. And so

7:31

when we start to have a story

7:33

that we think about and the memories

7:35

that are intertwined at our nervous system,

7:37

into our mindset, we have... a money

7:39

style. We could be anxious, we could

7:41

be avoidance, we could be, I'm going

7:44

to spend all day long and not

7:46

care what I spend on, we could

7:48

have a certain style based on our

7:50

story. And my story was my, I

7:52

was sexually abused when I was five,

7:54

not to get too deep here on

7:56

this show, but I was sexually abused

7:59

when I was five. So I had

8:01

a big abuse and taking advantage of

8:03

wounds. Yeah. By a man that I

8:05

didn't know, the babysitter son, who's probably

8:07

in his late teens, teens. That's one

8:09

of my first memories. Now I had

8:11

two parents that loved me, but they

8:13

didn't love themselves, and they argued about

8:16

everything, constantly, it felt like. So I

8:18

had this anxiety. around being at home.

8:20

So I left home at 13 to

8:22

get away from my parents and just

8:24

home life. I also started stealing a

8:26

lot when I was 10-11-12. So I

8:28

would steal like candy bars at stores

8:31

or cigarettes or whatever I could do

8:33

just to feel powerful because I felt

8:35

powerless at home. When I was eight

8:37

years old, my brother went to prison

8:39

for four and a half years selling

8:41

drugs to an undercover cop. So all

8:43

the excess money that my parents had,

8:46

which wasn't a lot, went towards legal

8:48

fees and the stress around having less

8:50

money, was just there, was just felt.

8:52

Again, we weren't sleeping on the streets,

8:54

we weren't middle upper class. And these

8:56

little memories and moments created wounds within

8:58

me, you know. Nintendo was big back

9:01

when I was a kid. We couldn't

9:03

afford it. Nintendo. So it's just like,

9:05

oh, we don't have enough. People were

9:07

playing roller hockey and I would play

9:09

in sneakers because we couldn't afford rollerblades.

9:11

So just little things like that. And

9:13

it's all perspective. Where you live and

9:16

where you grow up. But for me,

9:18

those wounds were deep. And it shaped

9:20

my belief system around money where I

9:22

didn't understand it. There was never enough.

9:24

It's confusing. I don't know who's going

9:26

to give me money. Why would someone

9:28

give me money? How do I make

9:30

money? How do I manage money? How

9:33

do I invest money? I just had

9:35

no clue. So I said, I'm gonna

9:37

go all in and pursue my dreams

9:39

of being a professional football player. I

9:41

went to play arena football in my

9:43

early 20s. And then I got injured

9:45

in my first season. I was just

9:48

gonna ask you all about this. Like,

9:50

what happens when someone who is your

9:52

size five two or probably, six five,

9:54

six four? You put all of your

9:56

effort into something that has been glorified,

9:58

frankly, in our culture as like your

10:00

ticket to freedom, your ticket out of

10:03

there, and then you get hurt. It's

10:05

devastating. Were you terrified? It was my

10:07

whole dream. So it was more than

10:09

just a dream. It was an identity.

10:11

So. So imagine getting married to the

10:13

man of your dreams and then all

10:15

of a sudden he, you know, breaks

10:18

up with you. And it's like your

10:20

whole life and your dreams and your

10:22

identity is in a relationship. It feels

10:24

devastating. You're like, you're not sure who

10:26

you are, what to do next, and

10:28

what's the purpose of it all? You

10:30

start questioning life, you start questioning your

10:33

belief systems around God. Everything is questioned

10:35

when your identity shifts. And for me,

10:37

I had no money. I was in

10:39

college debt. graduated college yet, so I

10:41

didn't have a college degree. I was

10:43

a few credits shy. And this was

10:45

the end of 2007 when the housing

10:47

crisis, the crash happened, 2007 through 2009,

10:50

I guess. So I'm sleeping on my

10:52

sister's couch for a year and a

10:54

half. I'm 23, 24 years old, have

10:56

no money, can't buy anything, and I'm

10:58

living off of her. So I just

11:00

felt helpless. Again, I went back to

11:02

this powerless state. And it's a state

11:05

of being. And for me, I didn't

11:07

know what to do. So for about

11:09

a year, I'm kind of just sitting

11:11

there recovering from this injury, the surgery

11:13

that I had, and kind of just

11:15

a little depressed, a little down, sad,

11:17

not sure what to do, and hoping

11:20

that other people will take care of

11:22

me. So I had my sister was

11:24

taking care of me, and after a

11:26

year and a half, she gave me

11:28

an amazing gift. She said, you gotta

11:30

pay rancor, you gotta leave. She forced

11:32

me to step up. She was coddling

11:35

me for a period of time, probably

11:37

a little too long, but thankfully she

11:39

let me stay there for a while.

11:41

And she said, you got to pay

11:43

rent or you need to leave in

11:45

a loving way. And so like any

11:47

youngest brother would do, I called my

11:50

older brother and said, can I stay

11:52

with you? He said, you need to

11:54

pay $250 a month for a room

11:56

to rent. And I was like, okay,

11:58

I got to figure out how to

12:00

figure out how to thousands of dollars.

12:02

I was like, how am I going

12:04

to make any money? I have no

12:07

skills, no clue how to monetize my

12:09

skills. my skills are. Who would ever

12:11

give me money? Why would they give

12:13

me money? What value can I bring

12:15

to someone? And was at that time

12:17

I said I need to find some

12:19

mentors and those mentors started giving me

12:22

clues and opportunities to take action to

12:24

develop skills which eventually turned into wealth.

12:26

What is one of the most important

12:28

things that one of those mentors taught

12:30

you? Probably one of the most important

12:32

things I heard was money comes to

12:34

you when you're ready for it. And

12:37

at the time, sleeping on my sister's

12:39

couch, having no money, I said, I'm

12:41

pretty ready to make money. I'm pretty

12:43

like, I'm ready for this, bring it

12:45

to me, give it to me. And

12:47

he just kept saying money comes to

12:49

you when you're ready for it. And

12:52

maybe feel free to push back on

12:54

this if you think it's, you know,

12:56

BS. But at that time, I was

12:58

not emotionally ready to receive wealth. Had

13:00

I had thousands of dollars coming to

13:02

me at that moment, I probably would

13:04

have spent it on crypto on crypto.

13:06

gone out and just blown it. Like

13:09

I would have spent it. I wouldn't

13:11

have learned how to be a steward

13:13

of the money to really navigate it

13:15

and to feel emotionally safe. I would

13:17

have been like, ah, what do I

13:19

do with this? My nervous system would

13:21

have been excited and I probably would

13:24

have blown it on something. I think

13:26

my take on that is similar. But

13:28

it's actually a physics principle. An object

13:30

in motion stays in motion. So if

13:32

you are someone who is a responsible

13:34

money manager and you get money, you're

13:36

going to do the right thing. Yes.

13:39

The same way that you were if

13:41

you had less of it. But if

13:43

you were already kind of acting a

13:45

fool with your finances, you getting a

13:47

large lump sum of money doesn't suddenly

13:49

turn you into the responsible person. No.

13:51

It just exacerbates the type of person

13:54

you already are. So. I agree, and

13:56

that money comes to you when you're

13:58

ready for it, but more so, money

14:00

stays with you when you're ready for

14:02

it. 100%. Because it'll come to you

14:04

whenever. You might blow it though. Correct,

14:06

and then it just might be gone

14:09

again. Exactly, which is, you probably... know

14:11

about all this the lottery winners and

14:13

how they blow most of them blow

14:15

it all in Hall and their athletes

14:17

and they're broke within seven years and

14:19

pro athletes go bankrupt a lot of

14:21

them within a couple years after their

14:23

retirement because they just weren't ready for

14:26

it maybe they're ready to play the

14:28

game at a high level but do

14:30

you understand how to manage money at

14:32

a high level that much money at

14:34

18-20 I don't know I wasn't ready

14:36

for that no I would have been

14:38

excited about it but I probably would

14:41

have blown it and so about a

14:43

year and as I started to make

14:45

some money. And once I learned how

14:47

to make money, it actually started to

14:49

come pretty quickly. It was like a

14:51

switch turned on. It took a couple

14:53

years of like, gosh, I'm just struggling

14:56

to make a few hundred dollars here

14:58

and there. But once I was like,

15:00

oh, I made $6200 in an hour

15:02

one time. Doing what? I did a

15:04

free live webinar. This was in 2000,

15:06

either end of 2009 or 10. I

15:08

did a free live webinar teaching an

15:11

audience of people about LinkedIn, how to

15:13

use LinkedIn to get quality relationships and

15:15

connections and build their profile. Because that's

15:17

what I was doing on my sister's

15:19

couch. I was obsessing about LinkedIn to

15:21

try to connect with people to find

15:23

a job. And eventually, someone was like,

15:26

hey, I really like your profile. Can

15:28

you show me how to optimize mine?

15:30

And I did it for free. And

15:32

he said, here's $100. This is going

15:34

to change my business. And I was

15:36

like. you'll pay me for this? I'm

15:38

just kind of tinkering around on here

15:40

all day to try to like meet

15:43

people and make my profile look good

15:45

so I can get a job. Right.

15:47

He was like, you have no idea

15:49

what you just did for me because

15:51

I've been trying to figure this out,

15:53

I don't understand it. And I go,

15:55

oh, okay, maybe if one person will

15:58

pay me $100, I can get more

16:00

people to do this. And I took

16:02

that as far as I could until

16:04

I was like, oh, this isn't scalable,

16:06

this isn't scalable, this isn't scalable, One

16:08

of them I write a book. I'm

16:10

hearing about people writing books about their

16:13

stuff and someone wrote like a Twitter

16:15

book at the time. So I was

16:17

like, oh, maybe I can write a

16:19

LinkedIn book. But I don't know how

16:21

to write. I don't know how to

16:23

do a book. I don't know how

16:25

to publish. So I found a mentor.

16:28

who had written books and he just

16:30

gave me the lessons and I followed

16:32

the prompts within six months wrote a

16:34

book about LinkedIn in 2010 and then

16:36

I was like oh selling a book

16:38

for $20 you don't make a lot

16:40

of money I was like okay people

16:43

are starting to do these like online

16:45

courses maybe I could do like this

16:47

webinar and do a course but I

16:49

have no clue what I'm doing I

16:51

found a mentor with a model who

16:53

had already done it and so my

16:55

my first webinar that I did was

16:57

of another guy promoting it. His name

17:00

is Joe Com. He promoted it to

17:02

his audience. So I was just a

17:04

speaker doing it for free. And he

17:06

said, I want you to have a

17:08

course that you can sell at the

17:10

end. I go, I have no idea

17:12

what I'm doing, but I'm gonna act

17:15

like I do. I'll figure it out.

17:17

I'll act like I do. I'll figure

17:19

it out. I'll figure it out. But

17:21

I'm going to act like I do.

17:23

That's like a long PayPalal link that

17:25

wasn't even customized. That wasn't even customized.

17:27

And within 30 minutes after the webinar

17:30

was complete, I opened up my email

17:32

and every line said, you've received payment.

17:34

And it just like, it exploded something

17:36

in my mind in that moment. And

17:38

they didn't buy anything. They were just

17:40

donating it. They pre-ordered. Oh, they pre-ordered

17:42

something that did not exist. It did

17:45

not exist. I was like, hey guys,

17:47

if you sign up for this, in

17:49

two weeks, I'll send you'll send you

17:51

information. in two weeks, every week, four,

17:53

four weeks. I was like, I'm gonna

17:55

do a boot camp. And that's how

17:57

I sold it. I pre-sold it. You

18:00

pre-sold. And for me, I never created

18:02

anything after that until I pre-sold it,

18:04

because a lot of people would make

18:06

these courses or programs without people raising

18:08

their hands, saying I'm interested. They just

18:10

thought they knew what people wanted. But

18:12

I'd rather have someone pre-order something, pre-order

18:14

something, or really making the program. And

18:17

that was a big eye-opener for me.

18:19

I mean, I was freaking out again.

18:21

I'm paying $250 a month at my

18:23

brother's house at that time. It's in

18:25

the middle of Ohio, the summer, I'm

18:27

sweating during the webinar, there's no video

18:29

camera on at that time, but I'm

18:32

like in a wife beater tank top,

18:34

like sweating, and I'm freaking out that

18:36

$6,200 was instantly in my PayPal account.

18:38

There was more money than I'd ever

18:40

had in my life. And it just

18:42

broke my mind. And I was just

18:44

like, wow, the power of reaching the

18:47

masses with a message, but really adding

18:49

value. And you asked me like, what's

18:51

one of the biggest money mentor lessons

18:53

that I had? One of them was

18:55

money comes to you when you're ready

18:57

for it. And like you said, money

18:59

stays with you when you're ready for

19:02

it, or you're responsible for it. But

19:04

another one was really the power of

19:06

the spoken word. I was terrified to

19:08

speak in front of a group of

19:10

three or four peers all through school.

19:12

I could not share my message or

19:14

my vision with anyone. without stuttering and

19:17

just being afraid. And I met someone,

19:19

another mentor, who is a professional speaker.

19:21

And he was like, if you want

19:23

to influence anyone in a career, a

19:25

boardroom, or you want to be a

19:27

speaker in the future, you have to

19:29

overcome your fear of public speaking. And

19:31

you have to learn spoken word and

19:34

written word. And I said, well, how

19:36

do I do that? And he said,

19:38

go to toastmasters. And so, do you

19:40

know what toast master is? Yes. I

19:42

never heard of it before. It's a

19:44

public speaking course class. I pay $100

19:46

a year for it. They're all over

19:49

the world. And I went every single

19:51

week for the next year. And I

19:53

was so bad. I was terrified. I

19:55

was horrible at giving speeches. But doing

19:57

it every single week for a year,

19:59

I got better. And by having that

20:01

training, it gave me the courage and

20:04

the confidence to do this kind of

20:06

live webinar. and I started doing free

20:08

workshops and paid workshops and speaking on

20:10

stages after that point. But I was

20:12

never a talented speaker and still today

20:14

I have a lot to learn. But

20:16

that lesson... the art of communication has

20:19

made me a multi-millionaire. And it's changed

20:21

your life because I feel like so

20:23

many people are terrified of public speaking.

20:25

Transform my life. And I think even

20:27

today, probably, like, just Gen Z, I

20:29

don't know. I worry about the younger,

20:31

because I worry, like, just Gen Z,

20:34

I don't know. I worry about the

20:36

younger generation because I just feel like

20:38

they're constantly on their phone. They're not

20:40

even connecting with their friends next to

20:42

each other. It's like, but for me.

20:44

It has given me an incredible life.

20:46

You talk a lot now on your

20:48

podcast, over a billion downloads, and a

20:51

big thing that you do talk about

20:53

is like people's past mistakes and how

20:55

we can all be better, how we

20:57

can be greater versions of ourselves. What

20:59

do you think is one thing that

21:01

people really struggle with, just across the

21:03

board, when it comes to their money

21:06

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at health. amazon.com. and then doubting their

21:31

abilities. How do I get rid of

21:33

that self-doubt? You got to heal the

21:36

past. And that's why I talked about

21:38

money wounds early on. You know, a

21:40

lot of my things are about, I

21:42

believe self-doubt is the killer of dreams.

21:44

When we doubt ourselves, it doesn't matter

21:46

how talented or smart you are. You're

21:48

going to limit yourself in what you're

21:51

able to do. I've seen in sports,

21:53

for example, I've seen incredible freak athletes,

21:55

weight more talented than me. just not

21:57

here in the mind, not have courage,

21:59

not have... confidence and it holds them

22:01

back. But there are three main things

22:03

that cause you to doubt, self-doubt that

22:05

hold you back. The three fears. The fear

22:07

of failure, a lot of people are afraid

22:10

to put themselves out there because they don't

22:12

want to fail. And if I'm in a

22:14

room and I ask people to raise their

22:16

hand if they've ever been afraid to fail,

22:18

most people in a room say yes. I'm

22:20

afraid to go after my dream because I

22:22

don't want to fail. That's

22:25

the number one fear for people

22:27

that holds them back to make

22:29

some doubt themselves The second thing

22:31

is something that I never understood

22:33

which is the fear of success

22:35

and I always wanted to succeed

22:37

because I never felt like I

22:39

was good enough And so I

22:41

wanted that acknowledgment. I wanted the

22:43

success to feel better But most

22:45

people I realized there they're afraid

22:47

of the weight of gold There

22:49

was a pressure there's an amazing

22:52

documentary called the weight of gold

22:54

medalists who train their whole life

22:56

for a dream. And then they

22:58

go and win the gold medal.

23:01

And then within weeks, months, they're

23:03

depressed. And they can't manage the

23:05

pressure of success. They can't manage

23:08

everyone reaching out to them, asking

23:10

for something. They can't manage the

23:12

weight of living up to that

23:14

success. And that weight holds

23:16

people down. What's the old term

23:19

like? Heavy is the head that wears

23:21

the crown or something. It's like to whom

23:23

much is given much is expected all

23:25

this stuff It's like you have that

23:27

responsibility you said to me you're a

23:29

very responsible guy It's a pressure to

23:32

be responsible every single day and show

23:34

up and be responsible in your marriage

23:36

be responsible with your team with your

23:38

money It's like you have to be

23:41

on your game consistently and it's a

23:43

lot and if you're not ready for

23:45

that pressure It could cripple you. And

23:48

for me, I look at pressure as

23:50

a privilege. Like, I welcome it, and

23:52

I know it's what's going to give

23:54

me a richer life, a more

23:57

abundant life, if I'm able to

23:59

be disciplined enough. routine enough to

24:01

handle the weight of all the

24:03

emotions all the pressure all the

24:05

critiques all the comments good and

24:07

bad I've got to be able

24:09

to navigate that emotionally which means

24:11

my nervous system has to feel

24:13

safe and I think if you

24:15

want to live a rich abundant

24:17

financial life you have to and

24:19

manage it well you have to

24:21

have a calm nervous system talk to

24:23

me about that how do we make

24:25

our pressure work for us so that

24:27

we can do whatever we want instead

24:29

of choking. I think you gotta

24:31

put yourself in pressure filled situations

24:34

consistently. You have to create micro

24:36

stresses throughout the day. Micro stresses.

24:38

You have to create these micro

24:40

stresses. So for example, every day

24:42

I create micro stresses around waking

24:44

up early. Like I don't want

24:46

to do that, but it's like

24:49

a micro stress in terms of,

24:51

yes, I'd rather sleep another hour.

24:53

But I told myself. This is

24:55

my dream and this is what

24:57

I want to create. And it's

24:59

going to require me getting up early

25:01

so I can go work out. So I

25:03

got to do that. I got to take

25:06

care of me. And my future self is

25:08

thanking me every time I make a bid

25:10

to wake up early that morning and I

25:12

move my body. I don't have to kill

25:14

myself in the gym, but just doing what

25:16

I said I was going to do. My

25:18

future self is thanking me and that's a

25:20

micro stress that is powerful. It's expanding my

25:22

container to create a richer life. and my health,

25:25

money, relationships, whatever it might be.

25:27

Another example, I just got married

25:29

three, I guess three and a half, almost

25:31

four weeks ago, right? And I remember when

25:33

you came on my show, you were talking

25:36

about the marriage stuff and everything, you give

25:38

me some advice, so I appreciate that advice.

25:40

And I just got married a month ago,

25:42

and I have a book tour, and I've

25:44

got seven cities, and I'm doing, and I'm

25:46

like, all these things, I'm like, this feels

25:49

overwhelming. But I know by stretching myself, by

25:51

stretching myself right now. and by just making

25:53

it more uncomfortable, it's gonna feel like a

25:55

breeze the rest of the year. Now I'm not

25:57

gonna do this every week and every month.

26:00

I'm not gonna get married and plan

26:02

a wedding and do destination wedding and

26:04

then go book tour every week, every

26:06

month. But it's like, it's expanding me

26:08

to be able to carry and contain

26:10

more so I can have a richer,

26:13

more abundant life. And so you gotta

26:15

figure out what works for you to

26:17

create these micro stresses to be able

26:19

to contain more pressure in your life

26:21

and not break. So we're making these

26:24

micro stresses in our life, but my

26:26

question is. How do we keep our

26:28

word to ourselves? I think that's something

26:30

that a lot of people struggle with.

26:32

You know the people, January 1, I'm

26:35

gonna eat right, I'm gonna work out,

26:37

I'm gonna get a better job, I'm

26:39

gonna do everything. Like, how do I

26:41

make my word? Because when I make

26:43

a deal with someone and we shake

26:46

hands, we're good. I'm gonna do right

26:48

by you. But I break deals with

26:50

myself quite a lot. I'm seeing this

26:52

unlicensed therapy up there in the corner

26:54

of this room. I think you break

26:57

your word more when you haven't healed

26:59

your wounds. Again, I just go back

27:01

to... Again, it doesn't... And again, I

27:03

break my word. It's not like I'm

27:05

this perfect human being. I'm out of

27:08

integrity with myself frequently. But I feel

27:10

like I'm more in integrity with myself

27:12

than I'm out of integrity. And I

27:14

try to break it down into a

27:16

daily winds. I really try to manage

27:19

just the day, not the whole year.

27:21

What am I saying I'm gonna do

27:23

to myself for myself tomorrow and making

27:25

sure I show up at the highest

27:27

level of integrity and one day at

27:30

a time? So for me, it goes

27:32

back into healing the wounds of the

27:34

past or the memories of the past

27:36

that cause you to feel emotionally charged

27:38

or emotionally triggered when life happens, when

27:40

something's happening in life. Are you reactive?

27:43

You probably know way more about physics

27:45

than me? But anytime there's an event

27:47

happening, are you triggered and reactive to

27:49

it in a negative way? If so,

27:51

it's poking a wound, an emotional or

27:54

psychological wound. If you broke your arm

27:56

and I poked you in your arm,

27:58

you'd be like, ah, and you'd be

28:00

like, get the heck off me. But

28:02

if someone, you know, cuts you off

28:05

in the street, are you emotionally or

28:07

psychologically reactive? If so, there's some type

28:09

of wound, some type of trauma that

28:11

is not healed yet in your nervous

28:13

system that's causing you to be defensive,

28:16

or feel taken advantage of. So I

28:18

had many psychological and emotional wounds that

28:20

made me feel... insecure with money and

28:22

made me feel like, especially when I

28:24

felt like someone was taking advantage of

28:27

me or overcharging, I would get really

28:29

reactive because I felt abused as a

28:31

kid and therefore I felt abused as

28:33

an adult and money was an emotionally

28:35

charged thing for me. And in some

28:38

ways, it still is. It's not like

28:40

I've mastered this. It's a constant journey.

28:42

Do you have like a money story

28:44

that... is just the most poignant memory

28:46

when it comes to you and your

28:49

money? Yes. I was in elementary school

28:51

and my brother went to prison and

28:53

I grew up in a small town

28:55

in Ohio so everyone knew everyone's stuff

28:57

in the suburbs right and I wasn't

28:59

allowed or at least it felt like

29:02

this no parents came up to me

29:04

but it felt like I wasn't allowed

29:06

to have friends at this point because

29:08

your brother was in prison right so

29:10

The neighborhood parents, do they want their

29:13

younger kids hanging out with me? Probably

29:15

not. You're like, oh, that's a bad

29:17

kid, right? Just by association. And so

29:19

I didn't really have friends from this

29:21

time. And I felt very lonely and

29:24

unworthy, all these different things. And I

29:26

remember there was two kids down the

29:28

block who were starting a club. I

29:30

don't know if you were ever in

29:32

a club as a kid, but they

29:35

started this like after school club in

29:37

their. parents basement right and I was

29:39

like I want to be in the

29:41

club just like excited and they said

29:43

okay there's two ways to get in

29:46

the club you can either answer questions

29:48

to get in correctly, or you have

29:50

to pay. And I was like, okay,

29:52

well, I don't have any money, so

29:54

what's the questions? They asked me the

29:57

questions. I didn't know the answers, so

29:59

I felt dumb. And they said, you

30:01

need to bring back $5 to be

30:03

in the club if you want to

30:05

be, essentially, be our friends. And so

30:08

I went home, I asked my mom,

30:10

I said, I want to join this

30:12

club, can you give me $5? She

30:14

looked at me with me with disappointment.

30:16

Not necessarily because I had to pay

30:19

to have friends, but because she didn't

30:21

have the money to give me. And

30:23

so she said, okay, go to the

30:25

couch and unturn the cushions and see

30:27

if you can find some change. I'm

30:29

going through every cushion I can, every

30:32

drawer in her dresser to try to

30:34

find loose change. An hour later, we

30:36

get $5 of change, she puts in

30:38

a shoebox, and I take it over

30:40

to these kids' basement where they have

30:43

the club. And I take it. for

30:45

the next hour these two kids are

30:47

kind of playing by themselves in the

30:49

corner of the basement and I'm just

30:51

there alone and so I feel so

30:54

humiliated that I pay money for friends

30:56

and they still don't want to hang

30:58

out with me. I never went back

31:00

after that day to this you know

31:02

imaginary club and it just was a

31:05

memory that created a wound right it

31:07

may seem like silly or simple today

31:09

to talk about it. I understand but

31:11

for me it was a wound that

31:13

again it never healed. And more stories

31:16

and more things like that happen. People

31:18

stole money from me. I stole a

31:20

lot of things from people as well

31:22

from stores. And so it just created

31:24

these micro wounds that never healed that

31:27

became a story that shaped my beliefs

31:29

and those beliefs influenced my behavior in

31:31

life. Death by a thousand paper cuts.

31:33

Exactly. And so that was just a

31:35

cycle in a loop and that behavior

31:38

created kind of my money strategy. It

31:40

was how I engaged with, how I

31:42

received money, how I spent money, how

31:44

I hoarded money. For years, I wouldn't

31:46

spend anything. I was afraid to go

31:49

broken can. So I was a millionaire,

31:51

but I wouldn't spend it, because I

31:53

was terrified to go back on my

31:55

sister's couch. That's not a rich. life

31:57

to me. That's not an abundant life.

31:59

That's scarce. And again, it made me

32:02

feel insecure with the money I had

32:04

in my late 20s, early 30s. And

32:06

it took years to unwind and to

32:08

heal and feel more confident with it.

32:10

How has your money relationship changed now?

32:13

I know you say you're still on

32:15

your journey, you're still working on it,

32:17

but how have things shifted and how

32:19

have they gotten better? You know, the

32:21

reason I wanted to kind of... research

32:24

in this book was not because I

32:26

had like the the answers because I

32:28

wanted the answers because I was like

32:30

okay I'm still not financially free. Yes

32:32

if you look at my net worth

32:35

you know people would do anything to

32:37

have that net worth and I would

32:39

be like you should be free. 100%

32:41

I should be free but I was

32:43

like why am I still struggling with

32:46

money even though I have a lot

32:48

of money in the bank? Why? I

32:50

have my retirement set up, I've got

32:52

my life insurance, I've got my tax

32:54

savings plans, I've got my HSA accounts,

32:57

I've got my charity accounts, I've got

32:59

all the accounts that every financial planner

33:01

has told me to do, and then

33:03

probably too many other things. And I

33:05

could still do more. But I'm like,

33:08

I'm set up, you know, I'm okay.

33:10

Why do I still not feel free

33:12

emotionally, psychologically, around my money? And so

33:14

I wanted to dive in deeper and

33:16

really interview people like yourself. who have

33:19

more knowledge than me and say, what

33:21

is this? What is this process? An

33:23

interview the therapist and the psychologist and

33:25

the billionaires who have, you know, gone

33:27

through depression and all these different things

33:29

and say, how can I be financially

33:32

free? And for me, it came down

33:34

to really understanding first the wounds. And

33:36

I go back to this because I

33:38

feel like it doesn't matter how much

33:40

money I had unless I was able

33:43

to go back and address the wounds

33:45

and forgive myself. and create meaning from

33:47

those wounds, then I can set myself

33:49

emotionally free. And once I'm emotionally free,

33:51

I can feel more financially free. I

33:54

can feel richer in myself. I can

33:56

look myself in the mirror and say,

33:58

I accept you, you're forgiven, I love

34:00

you, and everything's gonna be okay. And

34:02

again, this might sound a little weird.

34:05

This might sound a little off, and

34:07

people maybe not thought this was going

34:09

to happen during this. But for me,

34:11

money is an energy. And if my

34:13

energy is scarce, I'm going to feel

34:16

trapped. If my energy is abundant and

34:18

peaceful and harmonious, I will feel free.

34:20

And when I look at my bank

34:22

account, or when I receive money, or

34:24

when I spend money, I was not

34:27

feeling free. I was feeling anxious still. And

34:29

I was like, I no longer want

34:31

to feel this way. So what is it

34:33

going to take to help me to

34:35

be free from myself? And by healing

34:37

those wounds of the past, creating a

34:39

new story and a new strategy, I

34:41

can now receive money and say thank

34:43

you. Thank you for being here. Where

34:46

do you want to go? My friend

34:48

Ken Honda wrote a book out Happy

34:50

Money. And he told me this lesson

34:52

when money comes to you. I don't

34:54

care if it's a penny or a

34:56

million dollars or anything in between Say

34:58

thank you say thank you to the

35:01

person giving to you if you see

35:03

it on the street pick it up and

35:05

say thank you. Thank you for coming

35:07

to me. Where would you like to go?

35:09

And I'm gonna ask you this

35:12

question if money was a person

35:14

and represented a person person okay

35:16

and It walked through the door How

35:18

would you react to money say I

35:21

wasn't here and you had all

35:23

the time in the world? What

35:25

would you do or say or

35:27

not do if a person walked

35:29

in who represented the relationship of

35:31

money to you? What would you do?

35:33

You know, it's so funny. I want to

35:35

lie to you and say that I'd run

35:37

up to them and hug them, but

35:39

I'd be like a little nervous. Why?

35:41

I can't tell you. I think just

35:44

a little bit of trepidation

35:46

a little bit of Like what

35:48

if I do the wrong thing? What if

35:50

I? I hate this question. I'm glad you're

35:52

sharing this. This is powerful. I really really

35:54

wanted to lie to you and be like

35:57

I would run. I'd be so happy to

35:59

see. But no, this is. Fascinating. Now I

36:01

want everyone watching or listening to imagine

36:03

money walks in the door right now.

36:05

It's a person. It represents a person

36:07

and the emotional mental feeling you have

36:09

around money in your life. And I

36:11

want you to leave a comment below

36:13

whether you're on social media or YouTube.

36:15

Leave a comment and say, what would

36:17

you do if money walked in the

36:19

door right now as a person? And

36:21

I'll give you an example of someone

36:23

close in my life who's in their

36:25

late 20s. of what they said. I

36:27

said, money walks, you're at a restaurant

36:30

and money walks in. What would

36:32

you do? And they said, I would

36:34

go to the, hide, I'd go to

36:36

the bar and hide. And then I

36:38

would start talking about money behind its

36:40

back and gossiping about money. Then when

36:42

it came up to me, I would

36:44

act like I'm interested and intrigued and

36:46

excited. Then I would use and abuse

36:48

money when I needed it and I

36:50

would never respond to it. And I

36:52

go. Man, money must not feel loved

36:54

in your life. Imagine the relationship that

36:56

money has with you if you treat

36:58

it that way, if you think about

37:00

it that way, if you act about it

37:02

that way, if you talk about it that way,

37:04

if you talk about it behind its back. Imagine

37:06

your friend, your money, your friend is that relationship,

37:09

how do you think your friend would feel? If

37:11

you, they came in the door and you ran

37:13

away, you gossip behind his back, you ghost it

37:15

your friend, and then you use and abuse your

37:17

friend, and abuse your friend, imagine that relationship, it,

37:19

it, it, it, it, it would suffer, it would

37:21

suffer, it would suffer, it would suffer, it would

37:23

suffer, it would suffer, it would suffer, it would

37:25

suffer, it would suffer. It would be a horrible

37:27

relationship. And I want you people to imagine their

37:29

own relationship with money. And I think the

37:32

way you feel free around money in

37:34

your life is by having a beautiful

37:36

relationship with it. And that means we

37:38

have to start reflecting on our money

37:40

relationship relationship. So what is it? Do

37:42

you ever speak about money? I know

37:45

you talk about a lot of these

37:47

things, but do you ever have healthy

37:49

conversations about money? Or are you afraid

37:51

to talk about money? Or are you

37:53

afraid to see what's in there? When

37:55

you spend it, do you feel anxious

37:57

and afraid? Do you feel like you

37:59

can't? spend it on certain things. Just

38:02

imagine your relationship and start to

38:04

assess and reflect on it. And

38:06

see, how does it make me

38:08

feel? Is this a beautiful relationship?

38:10

Or does it not serve and

38:12

support me and feeling free emotionally?

38:14

And again, and imagine your best

38:16

friend, the one that you can actually

38:18

say anything to, even if it's scary, but

38:20

you come together stronger after. The person you

38:23

never gossip about behind their back, because you

38:25

really love them, you respect them, and you

38:27

would never want to hurt their feelings. The

38:29

person that they call you, and you pick

38:31

up, or you call them right back when

38:33

you get a moment, and you say, what

38:35

do you need? I'm here for you. The

38:37

person when they walk in the door, they

38:39

say, I'm so happy to see you. You're

38:41

such a gift in this world. Thank you

38:43

for being my friend. Just imagine that

38:46

relationship. And if that was a similar

38:48

relationship you had with money, I feel

38:50

like you would have a beautiful harmonious experience

38:52

around the money in your life, whether it

38:54

was here, whether you were spending it, you

38:56

had a lot of it, you had a

38:58

little of it, you would have a healthier

39:01

relationship with it. And speaking of healthier

39:03

relationships, you have. top seven habits of

39:05

folks who have a really good relationship

39:07

with money, have a strong money mindset.

39:09

Can you share maybe one or two,

39:12

tease it for us? Well, this is

39:14

the thing. You know, once you

39:16

understand your money's story, you can start

39:18

to notice what your money style is. Okay,

39:20

am I anxious? Am I more avoidant or

39:22

do I have a story? What are you?

39:24

I would say right now I'm very secure,

39:26

but it doesn't mean I don't have triggers

39:28

that still cause me to say, oh, why

39:31

did that come up for me? Let me

39:33

reflect and get back into a peaceful place

39:35

around this. I would say I'm a very

39:37

responsible person now around money, but it's because

39:39

I've made a lot of mistakes. It's because

39:41

I set up systems in place and I

39:43

automate things so I don't have to think

39:45

about and stress about it as much anymore.

39:47

And I used to not spend more. I

39:49

used to not wear, like I have a Rolex

39:52

that a friend gave me. And I used to

39:54

never wear like things that were nice. You know,

39:56

this is actually like a $30 t-shirt

39:58

or something. It's just. kind of whatever,

40:00

but I never used to wear nice

40:02

things because like I just want to

40:05

be modest and this and this. But

40:07

I was like, if someone gives me

40:09

a gift, I'm going to appreciate it.

40:11

I'm going to say thank you. So

40:13

I'm going to wear it more. I

40:15

made a nice ring for myself. I

40:17

was like, I would never make

40:19

this type of like blingy ring,

40:21

right? I like the blingy ring,

40:23

right? I like the blingy ring.

40:25

You know, I was like, this

40:27

is your wedding band. It's my

40:30

wedding band. And I designed it.

40:32

And I designed it. I need to

40:34

take those steps for me to grow

40:36

and expand my abundance. But the first

40:38

habit within the book that I

40:40

talk about is you've interviewed and

40:43

you know a lot of billionaires

40:45

and people who've exited companies for

40:47

hundreds of millions of dollars. And

40:49

I've interviewed so many of these

40:51

individuals. And the ones that

40:53

I really respect are the ones that are

40:55

giving back and who also care about charity

40:57

in their life. And they want to give

41:00

some of their money. And I

41:02

always ask these billionaires, like, what do

41:04

you think is one of the main

41:06

reasons why you're able to earn more

41:08

every single year? And probably 80 to

41:10

90% of the time. The first thing

41:13

is, they say is, is because I give more.

41:15

Every year I give more, for whatever

41:17

reason, the next year I make more

41:19

than I did the year before. And

41:22

it's not just like giving more that's

41:24

comfortable. It's being like, oh, that's a

41:26

lot. That feels like, that's a lot.

41:29

Should I really like write this check

41:31

or like, why are this much money?

41:33

Like, that's a lot of money. Even

41:36

though it's for a good cause, like,

41:38

yeah, I'd rather have that money. It's

41:40

like the uncomfortable giving to serve another

41:43

person, another organization, communities, all those

41:45

billionaires that do that. and feel like

41:47

they have a rich abundant life because

41:49

there's billionaires that are scarce in my

41:51

mind that don't have a rich life.

41:53

Of course. But the ones that I

41:55

feel are free emotionally, they give more.

41:57

And I think that is a powerful

41:59

distinction. And it's the first habit for me.

42:01

Because when I was broke, I wasn't a

42:03

giver initially. I was a taker. I said,

42:05

someone helped me. I have no money. Can

42:07

you help me give me a job? Can

42:09

you give me the answers? Can you give

42:12

me advice? And I was a taker. And

42:14

I wasn't getting any results. And when I

42:16

started to shift that energetically to saying, how

42:18

can I be a generous human being? And

42:20

I didn't have money to give at

42:22

that time. So I couldn't have a

42:24

giver initially. But I said, how can

42:26

I ask curious questions? And I realized

42:28

that was one of my biggest gifts.

42:30

And I turned it into a massive.

42:33

A podcast, a whole business. And I

42:35

never thought asking questions could make me

42:37

a millionaire. And it didn't happen overnight.

42:39

It took years. You told me 10

42:41

years. The last time I saw you,

42:43

because I asked you, I was like,

42:45

I'm building out a podcast. Yours is

42:47

incredible. Like, what's the secret sauce? And

42:49

you told me. I just had my 12th

42:51

anniversary last month. And so every

42:54

week for 12 years I've done

42:56

a podcast. And I've sat across

42:58

people like yourself, brilliant minds, and

43:00

said, curious questions. And

43:02

I did that early on when I had

43:05

no money as well. And I didn't think

43:07

it was being generous. But when you asked

43:09

someone for advice you're taking. When you ask

43:11

someone about how they overcame one of their

43:14

hardest challenges in their life, you're giving them

43:16

a beautiful gift. And people love to tell

43:18

stories about how they overcame to get to

43:20

where they are. They don't want to give

43:22

advice if they're busy. How many times you

43:25

get an email that says, can I pick

43:27

your brain for five minutes? Can I take

43:29

you for coffee? Can I give me some

43:31

advice? But if someone, maybe you don't

43:34

reply, but if someone says, maybe, you

43:36

know, God, what you've done is incredible.

43:38

You're my inspiration. You're a hero to

43:40

me. Like I see myself in you

43:42

and I would love to hear your

43:44

story about a challenging time in a

43:46

previous relationship or

43:48

how you really left Wall Street

43:50

when you said this one thing

43:53

it really just like opened me

43:55

up to this amazing opportunity for

43:57

myself and I'd love to hear

43:59

your story. Are you open to

44:01

sharing that? I'm 10 times more likely

44:03

to respond to that. Yeah. It doesn't

44:05

mean you will for everyone, but you're

44:08

more likely to say, I'll send a

44:10

quick voice note, I'll send you a

44:12

quick message, like, sure, hey, we'll do

44:15

it in the future, right? And you're

44:17

giving you a gift, not taking from

44:19

you. So the first habit is the

44:21

mindset habit, which is to give generously

44:24

in your life. giving my energy my

44:26

love my attention can I can I

44:28

can I ask people questions and not

44:31

talk about me and early on when

44:33

I had nothing to give all I

44:35

had was passion I was just like

44:38

excited to be around people and people

44:40

who are in their you know late

44:42

late years they were like they have

44:44

no energy so they wanted to be

44:47

around my energy and I could give

44:49

that so the first habit is the

44:51

mindset habit and it is Gratitude and

44:54

generosity is the gateway to abundance. So

44:56

if you can be appreciative for things

44:58

in your life, whether it's a penny,

45:00

a dollar, someone's time, and you can

45:03

give generously, you're gonna create abundance. Don't

45:05

be a taker, be a giver. I

45:07

love that advice. Can we get a

45:10

teaser on number two or? Sure. Well,

45:12

the second one or do you want

45:14

me to give you? No, your favorite.

45:17

My favorite is the, well, there's the

45:19

mindset habit, the mapping habit, the mapping

45:21

habit. which is about creating a clear

45:23

game plan for your money. Yeah, talk

45:26

to me about making a game plan.

45:28

Because a lot of times people just

45:30

say, I'm broke, I want to have

45:33

more money. Yeah. And they say, I

45:35

want to make a million dollars. But

45:37

they're not really clear on why they

45:40

want a million dollars, when they want

45:42

the million dollars by, and how they're

45:44

going to make that million dollars. And

45:46

how are you going to make it?

45:49

For me. I wasn't really even thinking

45:51

about that on my sister's couch. I

45:53

just said, I want to make enough

45:56

money to get an apartment on my

45:58

own, on my own. So that's the

46:00

why? Yes, I want to be off

46:03

my sister's couch, I want to feel

46:05

like a grown-ass man and live by

46:07

myself or be able to afford my

46:09

own place. And in Columbus, Ohio at

46:12

the time, I found a apartment, a

46:14

run-down apartment for $495 a month. This

46:16

was the cheapest place I could find

46:19

in Columbus, Ohio. And I was like,

46:21

I just need $495 a month. Maybe

46:23

a little bit more so I can

46:25

buy some ramen noodles, right? That

46:28

may be a bet, but I was like, I'm

46:30

gonna borrow a bed from someone, I'm gonna go

46:32

on Craigslist and get a free bed, like whatever.

46:34

But I was like, I need 4.95 a month.

46:36

So while I was thinking was, I want to

46:38

think of a season of time right now, where

46:41

I can make a certain amount of money. Sure,

46:43

one day I'd love to be a millionaire. But

46:45

I think we should be thinking about seasons of

46:47

life. What do you want to make in

46:49

the next three months and why? And

46:51

why? And how can we want to

46:53

make in the next three months and

46:55

why? unseen skills inside of you to

46:58

make more money. Because there was a

47:00

lot of untapped skills that I had

47:02

that I didn't think were monetizable that

47:04

became skills and tools that made

47:06

me financially free. And that was

47:08

the skill of curiosity, the skill of

47:10

asking dumb questions, which I didn't

47:12

think you could ask dumb questions and

47:15

make money. But I was like always

47:17

asking these dumb childlike questions, like an

47:19

eight-year-old would ask. And- Which side note, you

47:22

are by far one of the best interviewers I

47:24

have ever met. Thank you. I appreciate it.

47:26

I asked these kind of like random dumb

47:28

questions. And I didn't think it was a

47:30

skill that anyone would pay me for. I

47:32

had big fears around speaking at that

47:34

time. I didn't know how to read

47:37

and write. I was dyslexic growing up,

47:39

so I was very afraid to put

47:41

my words out there to be criticized.

47:43

But that's when I got mentors and

47:46

I got people to teach me how

47:48

to overcome these fears. So I made

47:50

a list of the untapped skills or

47:52

the unseen skills inside of me, and

47:54

I started learning out to maximize those.

47:56

And I said, what are a list

47:58

of all my fears? to go overcome

48:00

those fears. Combining those two made me more

48:02

resourceful and made me more courageous to

48:04

try and risk things to create more money.

48:06

So the mapping habit for me was,

48:08

what can I do in the next three

48:10

months? Don't try to think about like

48:12

some big number right away. It's like, what

48:14

do I really want right in this

48:16

season of life? So for me, that's a

48:19

powerful thing. It's getting clear on the

48:21

map in your life. The monetizing habit is

48:23

really tapping into your skill sets. And

48:25

I didn't know what they were. I had

48:27

to ask people, people had to call

48:29

me out and say, man, you've got a

48:31

lot of energy. You're very youthful. You

48:33

know, I was 24 at the time. Youth

48:35

is a superpower. Energy is a superpower.

48:37

And you may not think that's a skill

48:39

you can monetize, but trust me, it

48:41

is. Youth is wasted on the young. That's

48:43

true. I didn't waste it. I went

48:45

all the way. I used it. The

48:48

fourth one is the mastermind habit.

48:50

This is the thing. The mastermind habit

48:52

has made me more money than

48:54

anything else in my life. And it's

48:57

simply who you know in building

48:59

relationships with people, the right people in

49:01

your life. And I remember the

49:03

first mastermind I went to, a mastermind

49:05

for those who don't know is

49:07

a group of people, specifically, usually in

49:09

an industry that have a certain

49:11

amount of knowledge at the same skill

49:13

level. Subject matter experts. Yeah. And

49:15

it could be five people in a

49:17

room. It could be 50 people

49:19

in a room, but it's kind of

49:21

coming together, sharing ideas over a

49:23

period of time. Usually it's a weekend.

49:25

Could be once a week for

49:27

an hour, whatever it might be. I

49:29

got into a mastermind early on.

49:31

I was 2010. And I had just

49:33

started kind of building this online

49:35

course business. And I remember in this

49:38

first year, after I made $6 ,200,

49:40

I went hard for the next

49:42

year. And I made about $250 ,000

49:44

in sales kind of that first year.

49:47

And I remember was just like,

49:49

how do I break through

49:51

to the next level? I went

49:53

to this mastermind. It was

49:55

a group of probably 20 guys

49:57

and gals. And after this

50:00

weekend, I met five people. Throughout

50:02

the weekend, that I said, hey, I just want

50:04

to help you for free on your LinkedIn profile and just

50:06

help you optimize this so you can make more money. I

50:08

don't want anything in return. Just want to help you. Give.

50:10

Give generously, the first habit. All of them

50:12

are like, man, this is really

50:14

powerful. I got some powerful connections.

50:16

This is going to help you

50:18

in my business. These five people.

50:20

Each one of those individuals over

50:22

the next three months said, hey,

50:24

will you do a free training

50:26

to my community? They all had

50:28

online audiences. Can you teach for

50:31

free? And I said, sure, can I offer my

50:33

course and give you 50% of whatever

50:35

I sell? They said, yes. Within three

50:37

months, I did a half a million

50:39

dollars in sales and sales. Wow. and then

50:41

they offered an opportunity for me to share

50:44

with their audience and sell it. They gave

50:46

you access. They gave me access and they

50:48

had the audience, I didn't have an audience

50:50

yet. And I was like, wow, it opened

50:53

my mind to the power of masterminds. And

50:55

again, not taking, but giving first and being

50:57

open to receive. And I have been a

51:00

part of different levels of masterminds for the

51:02

last, I guess, 15 plus years, and it

51:04

has brought me more wealth than anything else.

51:06

But also just industry knowledge, saving you time,

51:09

saving you energy by being in the right

51:11

room. So anyone watching or listening, they should

51:13

try to get into a mastermind with you.

51:15

And before I let you give away anything

51:17

else of these incredible seven habits, we are

51:20

coming up on time. So I have a

51:22

couple of extra questions. Yes. Go ahead.

51:24

What do you hope people will actually

51:26

see improve in their lives once they

51:28

get a handle on their money? What

51:30

other sectors of life is this going

51:32

to help impact? Well, I mean... I

51:34

know you're gonna say everything, but

51:36

talk to me about it. Well, I just

51:38

think the most important relationship you have

51:40

is the relationship with yourself. And when

51:43

you... Explain that to me. Well, if

51:45

you don't love and like yourself, how

51:47

are you get a love and like

51:49

others? If you at the end of the day, you

51:52

give all your love to everyone else and you appreciate everyone

51:54

else, but then you look yourself in the mirror and you

51:56

literally look in your eyes for five seconds. And if you

51:58

can't say, I love and I like you. You're a good

52:00

person. You're doing good. You're not perfect,

52:02

but you're showing up. You're doing the

52:05

best you can, and I really admire

52:07

you for the courage you continue to

52:09

show up with. If you can't do

52:11

that, you're gonna live a miserable, poor

52:13

life. You're going to feel scarce, you're

52:16

going to feel never enough, you're going

52:18

to feel like, it doesn't matter how

52:20

hard it works, I never feel good

52:22

enough to me. It doesn't matter if

52:24

the world says you're amazing if you

52:26

don't think you are lovable and likable.

52:28

And I'm not talking about this big

52:30

ego, I'm amazing and I love myself

52:32

and shouting the mirror. I'm pretty. Yeah,

52:34

no, it's not about that. Do you

52:36

feel you're living in accordance with the

52:38

best version of you for where you

52:40

for where you're you're you're at today?

52:43

Did you show up kind when typically

52:45

you react in a negative way? Were

52:47

you more patient with people in your

52:49

life with your crazy mom who's always

52:51

asking you to do something or your

52:53

ex whoever? You know what I mean?

52:56

And it doesn't have to be perfect.

52:58

There's no way that every day I'm

53:00

perfect. Never. But can I be good

53:02

with me? And for most of my

53:04

life, I was never good with me

53:07

when I looked in the mirror. I

53:09

could fake it, but it didn't, for

53:11

real, didn't feel like I loved, accepted

53:13

or liked myself. I hated

53:15

myself. And no amount of

53:18

money, no amount of success,

53:20

no amount of followers and

53:22

accomplishments made me like myself more.

53:25

So I needed to do some deeper

53:27

healing work to forgive myself,

53:29

to forgive others, so I could feel

53:31

free. And again, I'll share one

53:34

quick story. that emulates this because

53:36

I know we're short on time

53:38

for you. But I was living

53:40

in Los Angeles five years ago

53:42

in a fancy building, an expensive

53:44

apartment building. A lot of

53:46

celebrities were there, billionaires, the whole

53:48

thing. And I was probably the

53:50

poorest person. But it was really

53:52

close to my office building. And

53:54

one day I went on road trip for

53:56

a weekend and I came back and as I

53:58

came back into the. the valet of the

54:01

building, there was a white tent in

54:03

the valet. And I made a joke

54:05

to the valet attendant. Someone didn't jump,

54:07

did they? And he looked at me and

54:09

said, yeah, he did. And I thought

54:11

he was kidding, because there was a

54:13

white tent in the valet in the

54:16

parking lot. Someone jumped off this building,

54:18

and it's one of the most expensive

54:20

buildings in LA. And I was like,

54:22

kind of in shock, because I'm around

54:24

extreme wealth in this building. And I

54:26

later did some research. And the man

54:28

who jumped was worth a half a

54:30

billion dollars, his net worth. But he was

54:33

not emotionally free. He was the day

54:35

after father's day. He was estranged from

54:37

his son. He didn't have a relationship

54:39

with his son. And I'm not here

54:41

to assume I know everything that happened

54:44

about this guy, but something inside of

54:46

him was blocking him. He didn't love

54:48

and accept himself if he was

54:50

willing to take his own life. No amount

54:52

of money made him feel free. Because

54:54

he had some other demons he had to

54:57

face. And it's sad for me to

54:59

see anyone suffer in life. I

55:01

don't care if you're poor, if

55:03

you're rich, or whatever. It's sad

55:05

for me to see people suffer.

55:07

Because you've been there. I've been

55:10

there. And we all have different

55:12

levels of suffering. And my goal

55:14

is to set people free emotionally.

55:16

I believe financial abundance can give

55:18

you more tools and resources to

55:20

feel free. But if you can't

55:22

look yourself in the mirror and

55:24

feel like you're a good person.

55:27

You are trapped, you are blocked,

55:29

you are blocked, and you are

55:31

a prisoner within yourself. And it's

55:33

almost like, and then I can't,

55:35

I can't say it's worse, but it's

55:37

almost like you've worked your whole life

55:39

to be a millionaire, to me a

55:42

billionaire, and you still don't love and

55:44

like yourself? What are you

55:46

working for? The only thing we

55:48

should be working on is the

55:51

inner work. The excess money is

55:53

a bonus. Having money and feeling

55:55

emotionally... wounded constantly and like you're

55:57

never enough is almost like a bigger

55:59

pain. then being poor but loving and

56:02

accepting yourself. Because your external

56:04

reality is so different. Yeah,

56:06

exactly. And you're like, oh, everyone's praising

56:08

me, but I can't even accept myself

56:11

because I'm worthless, I'm a nobody, I'm

56:13

an idiot, I'm that little kid that

56:15

everyone made fun of or whatever it

56:17

might be, their wound. And it's just

56:19

like no amount of money, success, followers,

56:22

or fame will make you feel free.

56:24

You gotta do that yourself. You gotta

56:26

do yourself. Matthew Perry lived in that

56:28

building as well. I saw Matthew Perry

56:30

walking around and he was constantly, it

56:32

seemed like he was just like drunk,

56:34

you know, drugged up. And he didn't

56:36

commit suicide there or he didn't pass away

56:38

there. It was later, a couple years afterwards.

56:40

But it's like there are celebrities who have

56:43

all the love from people in the world,

56:45

but don't know how to love themselves. For whatever

56:47

reason. And I don't know his story

56:49

or what he went through. But it's

56:51

just we see it all the time

56:53

here in LA, I'm sure in New

56:55

York, it's like people are chasing to

56:57

try to feel a void instead of

56:59

filling the void and expanding with abundance.

57:01

And that's what I want people to

57:04

experience. I absolutely love that. And

57:06

it's so funny as someone who feels very

57:08

good with their money, I'm actually very excited

57:10

to read your money book. Lewis, tell us

57:12

where we can get it, tell us when

57:15

we can get it. Give us the URL.

57:17

Yeah, I mean, you can go to

57:19

Amazon or any bookstore, but make money

57:21

easy book.com. It's out March 18th. And

57:23

again, if you want to have a

57:25

better relationship with your money, then that's

57:28

what this is about. Thank you so much

57:30

for being here. Appreciate you. Thanks for

57:32

tuning into this week's episode of Network

57:34

and Chill, part of the Vox Media

57:36

Podcast Network. If you like the episode,

57:39

make sure to leave a rating and

57:41

review and subscribe so you never miss

57:43

an Right to us via podcast at

57:45

your rich bff.com. Follow net worth and

57:47

chill pot on Instagram to stay up

57:50

to date on all podcast related news

57:52

and you can follow me at your

57:54

rich bFF for even more financial know-how.

57:56

See you next week. Bye! Thanks to

57:59

Amazon for the support. Have you ever

58:01

been so sick that the thought of standing

58:03

up to go to the doctor made you