0:02

I mean if I were a member of the

0:04

Grateful Dead, I would be

0:06

regularly tossing in Final Fantasy riffs and

0:09

freaking out a small portion of the

0:11

audience. Hey everybody. Welcome

0:17

to No One Can Know About This, a

0:19

podcast where we play every Final Fantasy. I'm

0:21

Jeff Ekman. And I'm Ryan Kasmiske. Here

0:24

we go, season 7 episode 61. We're

0:27

really still cleaning up here.

0:30

Last week we did a lot of grinding. What

0:34

else do we do? Well it's just like, you

0:36

know, it's the structure of this game. It's like

0:38

all of the extra shit except the stuff that

0:40

we missed in the middle that we can't go

0:42

back and do ever again. Like the coffee. Like

0:45

the coffee is all loaded into the very

0:47

end. Right. Oh but we

0:49

got the guy in Deguerrio to ask us

0:51

for the magical fingertip. Yeah we kind of

0:53

got the first taste of the Auction House

0:55

quest. And that's what's mostly

0:57

going to happen this week. We're going to grind

0:59

for a bit, then we're going to do the

1:01

Auction House quest. And last week we were mostly

1:03

grinding, yeah. Yeah. And then at

1:05

the end of this week we're going to

1:07

finish catching frogs. Oh okay. So we'll finish

1:09

off two more side quests this week. And

1:12

it's the end of day 14. Which

1:14

means the final day is... The

1:17

final day is upon us. Upon us. It's

1:20

a little sad. Next week. I've

1:22

enjoyed this season muchly. Very

1:24

much. Me too. Yeah.

1:27

I can't believe it's actually

1:29

going to potentially end at some point. It's just

1:32

so long it feels like it never actually does

1:34

end. And then it does. What

1:36

the fuck am I saying? Yeah, I was struggling

1:38

to find anything to say about it. It didn't

1:40

sound just absolutely basic and stupid. Because it's like,

1:42

yeah you know you're doing one thing wrong. You're

1:45

doing something and then it's over. And

1:47

then it changes. You do something else. You

1:50

go through the next

1:52

thing and then on to the next

1:54

season and so forth and so on.

1:56

The wheels turn. Spinning out

1:59

of control. He'll turn and he

2:01

can't slow down. Can't

2:03

go back and he can't hold on.

2:05

That's extremely familiar, but I'm not placing.

2:08

The Thunder don't get you in the

2:11

lightning well. Grateful Dead. Right.

2:14

The bottle was dusty, but the whiskey

2:17

was clean? That's a different song. They

2:19

all flow into each other. Let's get

2:21

into it. We're grinding for XP on

2:23

these grand dragons. I

2:26

gotta say though, I think this one

2:28

has the best and most robust side

2:30

questing. Like it's feels like it's going

2:33

throughout. Like we didn't realize

2:35

it, but we could have been stopping

2:37

to get frogs and do chocograbs. No,

2:39

it's not like, and also if you

2:41

go to this forest, you could find

2:43

Mr. Monkey and skip frogs. Yeah. And

2:46

fuck, you know, it's like, and also

2:48

there's some crazy shit to find. It's

2:51

like woven into it. This whole thing

2:53

feels very considered for the most part.

2:55

Some stuff has been rushed. By the

2:57

way, in the game Final Fantasy 15,

3:00

there's a poster that advertises Moritz

3:02

coffee. So it's winking at you.

3:04

It's a game for new fans.

3:06

And all the right. And

3:09

new and old, new

3:12

and old. And

3:14

there it is. The requisite ceremonial

3:16

Final Fantasy 15 trash

3:18

talk. Didn't we have that at the

3:20

very beginning of this season? I can't

3:22

remember. It's so long ago now that

3:24

I guess it's deserved to happen again.

3:27

I'm like a machine. Like you just

3:29

bring it up and I'm like, oh

3:31

man, let me reiterate my complaints about

3:33

that. It's insane.

3:38

We should put that one next. Go

3:40

look at our key items, see what coffee we

3:42

got. Kirkman coffee, that's

3:44

one of the three. I

3:46

think we missed the other two. They're

3:49

just in places. Oh yeah, click on

3:51

that. We look at the key item

3:53

rank S metal, our treasure hunting metal.

3:55

This is our treasure hunter thing. It

3:57

says the owner of this metal is

3:59

certified. as a rank S treasure

4:01

hunter by the treasure hunter guild.

4:03

And it's signed TH guild. Maybe

4:06

it's stamped. Thomas Harold

4:08

Guild. I think it's just

4:10

treasure hunter guild. Tight, sweet,

4:12

we're rank S. Nothing can

4:14

stop me, nothing can stop

4:16

me. Ba da

4:18

da da da da da da da da da

4:20

da da da da da da. Nothing

4:24

can stop me, nothing can

4:26

stop me. No. No.

4:29

No. No. No. No.

4:32

No. No. No. No.

4:35

But look at these accomplishments we're ranking

4:37

in. Rank S treasure hunters. Mm-hmm.

4:44

We're not the king of jump rope. I

4:46

mean. So if you

4:49

think that you're cool. Look, if you're always

4:51

comparing yourself to other people. We didn't beat

4:53

Hippal in all of the races that we

4:55

could have, okay. We

4:58

never got the mayor's key. We're

5:00

missing. That doesn't make me feel bad. We

5:02

didn't get the coffee, you're right. Mocha coffee

5:04

and Berman coffee. There's a

5:07

reason. That's why, I mean, man.

5:13

Oh yeah, the Berman coffee's found in a chest

5:15

in a locked part of the Dolly windmill. Which

5:18

I think is like, you need the key. Yeah.

5:22

You need the mayor's key. So the

5:24

mayor's key was tied to the coffee. Did

5:27

we get the master hunter received after

5:29

the festival with the hunt? No, because

5:31

we didn't fucking fight. We

5:33

didn't do it right. Oh yeah, that was

5:36

fucking hard, man. Man, remember the festival

5:38

of the hunt? Yeah. Remember the time sparrows?

5:40

Oh yeah, you have to like get,

5:42

yeah, no, man. It's crazy to think

5:44

about that. Yeah, it's crazy to think

5:47

about that. That feels like a lifetime

5:49

ago. It feels, I was just about

5:51

to say, like that and

5:53

the mayor slash coffee side quest.

5:55

I feel like they're designed to be

5:57

missed and that one is like early enough.

6:00

you might finish the game and be like, well,

6:02

let's start again and just like get that right.

6:04

Right. Are you saying we should start a new

6:06

game? I mean, not right now, but I mean,

6:08

even earlier listening to me talk about like 15,

6:11

I'm like, yeah, man, even the ones that suck

6:13

after enough time passes, for some reason, I'm like,

6:15

let's just turn that one on again. Yeah, let's

6:17

like we got to spend, I don't know, at

6:20

least 10 hours, maybe 30, maybe

6:22

30, maybe 100. So

6:25

we missed that boss. There's a

6:27

mini figurine, you know, a queen. We're

6:29

just being like, we're doing good. I'm

6:31

not thinking about it. Now we fucked

6:33

it all up. We fucked everything up.

6:35

We got some ultimate weapons without looking

6:37

it up. That's true. There's a mini

6:40

queen brawny figurine. Oh,

6:43

really? That is in the

6:45

mayor's house. So everything good

6:47

is in the mayor's house. Apparently. And

6:49

now everyone good over there is dead

6:52

also. There's also a mini Sid. I

6:54

think we got the mini Sid at

6:56

an auction already. Oh, okay. I'm going

6:58

to be kidding me. There's a mini

7:00

Bermecia in Tantalus' hideout. I think we

7:02

got the autograph. I don't know. Hey,

7:04

look up what the deal was with

7:06

where Sina and stuff. I'm telling you

7:08

to look up something that I should

7:11

remember is like nothing to look up.

7:13

Like, they got Sina's hammer. And I'm

7:15

like, hang on, hang on. I'm looking

7:17

up other stuff that's even more irrelevant.

7:19

I'll wake up where Sina in a

7:21

second. I'm still finding out like, did

7:23

we get the moogle suit? I don't

7:25

think so. Disguise used by Lowell to

7:28

avert the rabid fans and Lindblum. Oh,

7:30

that might have been the thing we

7:32

did earlier. These are all key items.

7:34

So some of these are, you know,

7:37

what with these fucking stones that

7:39

were all on the Conti Petey

7:41

mountain path? Oh,

7:44

yeah, the colored stones. This is one that

7:46

I don't remember what it is, but we

7:48

did not go back and do. Put them

7:50

all together if you got all of them.

7:52

But I think we were missing one or

7:54

if you had gone back. I'm going to

7:56

read about it. Yeah. Now,

7:58

that's a good question. I

8:01

totally forgot about those. You

8:03

can use these items to

8:05

obtain a moonstone. Oh, okay,

8:07

who cares? Jesus.

8:14

Those duosios. In

8:22

the background here, we just got a

8:24

PlayStation trophy called Overly Emotional. We've entered

8:26

trance 50 times. I guess

8:28

that's what it means. This is how

8:30

you unlock the Overly Emotional trophy. For

8:32

how many hours we've been playing this,

8:34

that's not enough times, right? 50

8:37

times. Trance doesn't feel like it happens

8:39

enough. It doesn't. I do agree with

8:41

that. I wonder how many times you

8:43

get limit break in an average FF7

8:45

playthrough. A lot more than that. Yeah,

8:47

it happens all the time. I

8:50

mean, if they're equivalent, then yeah. Right,

8:56

we can use it to make tin armor,

8:58

or if it stays in the inventory, there'll be

9:00

an extra cutscene. Yeah, but

9:03

this is like different than the hammer. Yeah.

9:06

The hammer we just got from the stellazios, but

9:08

there was like something going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

9:14

Baby keeps fucking dying. I

9:19

walk into the screen in the theater district.

9:21

There's a very short scene with two of

9:23

the brothers asking each other where Marcus and

9:25

Senna went and they run off, where

9:28

did they go? So this cutscene

9:30

with Benero and Gennaro, we were

9:32

told that it went somewhere. Yeah,

9:34

we've since coming across that learned

9:36

that this actually is a side

9:38

quest, and it's like one of

9:40

the most obscure ever. Is

9:42

this the one that wasn't found in

9:45

America for like many years after release

9:47

until recently? Yeah, I think so. We

9:49

were seeing some chatter about this on

9:51

the Discord, and I remember reading an

9:53

article about this back in like 2010

9:55

or something, that yeah, this side quest

9:58

was like discovered by the West. One,

12:00

preparing to fight at the Ifa Tree

12:02

with Sid, or two,

12:05

they're already there for some reason,

12:07

having told the brothers. You know,

12:09

I feel like a while ago,

12:11

like six or seven years

12:13

ago, there was like a story on

12:15

Kotaku about how a side

12:17

quest in Final Fantasy IX was just

12:19

completed. It can't be this. And

12:21

all of the screenshots were in Lindblom. I wonder if

12:23

it has something to do with this. Because

12:26

this person's like, I always felt like it was like

12:28

an unfinished side quest. Arguably

12:31

it fleshes out the world. It's unrealistic

12:33

that Zidane can know everything that's going

12:35

on with everyone at any given time.

12:37

I hate whoever that is. That's contrived.

12:39

That's fucking stupid. But not more contrived

12:41

that it's contradictory. Don't include shit in

12:43

stories that goes nowhere just to make

12:45

the world feel real. That's not- It's

12:47

more realistic that the main characters- God,

12:49

I'm gonna write a game like that

12:52

where it just is like real life,

12:54

where you just can't figure anything out,

12:56

ever. Like you don't know. Like you'll

12:58

come to a stranger and be like,

13:00

hey, where are you going? They'll be

13:02

like, no to your business. And you'll

13:04

never learn what they're doing that day.

13:07

Because it's not your business, okay? I feel

13:09

very vindicated that not only is this opinion

13:11

like a thing that feels good to me,

13:13

but I was right in this instance. That's

13:15

not just like a random piece of world

13:17

building. Right, there is a quest. There is

13:19

a quest associated. And that guy was wrong.

13:21

The guy was wrong. I'm

13:23

excited to hear what future you has

13:26

to rant about. I

13:28

have a lot more to say. No,

13:30

I know that. I know. Such a

13:32

stupid thought. I can't even understand how

13:34

you can have it. Yeah, beyond that

13:36

person being wrong in this instance, that

13:38

opinion always irks me because it like,

13:40

it's such an excuse for people who

13:42

don't even need one. Like these games

13:44

and TV shows and movies cost so

13:46

much money and people put so much

13:48

thought into it. Like you should expect

13:51

things to make sense. You

13:53

deserve that. It's also true that

13:55

these things sometimes aren't finished as

13:57

they originally intended. Yeah. And that

13:59

it's not like that doesn't need

14:01

to be over. That's

14:03

fine. It's actually complete.

14:06

And they intended this part to be.

14:08

You don't need to make it perfect.

14:10

That it's not. Yeah, that's yeah. You

14:12

know, you definitely don't need to make

14:14

something perfect. Like it's fine if stuff

14:16

is flawed. But in this case,

14:18

it's not even flawed. It is perfect. Right. It is like

14:23

I just give

14:26

me a fucking break. Be responsible. Such

14:31

an armless comment on an FF9 thing. I

14:34

use that comment all the time. I know. It's

14:36

worse than everything. It's fucked up. I'm

14:38

with you. I'm with you. Yeah,

14:43

it's the argument that always crops up

14:45

with a really flawed anything.

14:48

Yeah, yeah. The argument is no, there

14:50

is no such thing as a flaw.

14:52

And it drives me nuts. I know.

14:56

It's like they might have meant to do

14:58

more with that and literally not finished it.

15:00

And it's not. You

15:02

don't have to figure out some

15:04

reason that it actually makes perfect

15:07

sense and exists that way because

15:10

really Zidane just wouldn't, you know,

15:13

it's not realistic to believe that. Dude,

15:16

you're right. I mean, it's not. He

15:19

can't know everything. He's just

15:21

one monkey boy. He's just one little monkey

15:23

boy. What's

15:26

going on, Dr. Todd? Are you home? Back

15:28

in Trino, check in with Dr. Todd's house. Yeah,

15:31

I don't know what I'm doing here. I just

15:33

thought I'd drop by, I guess. That's the stage

15:35

we're at. Like, I really don't want it to

15:37

end and it's over. We got up. There's like

15:39

nothing. Check every corner of our memory. But also,

15:42

I guess we're here for the auction house, really.

15:44

But I'm like, you know, it's at that stage

15:46

where you just want to be a regular at

15:48

all the places. What else was here? You know,

15:51

we got to check in again. Talk to everyone

15:53

you meet multiple times. Role play like you live

15:55

in this world now. And just kind of go

15:57

back and forth between places. That

16:02

sound is so funny. Yeah, they're

16:04

running. Ah, long time no see.

16:06

You're running. Well, that's all you gotta

16:08

say. So finally, with enough money

16:10

in our pocket, we head for the auction

16:12

house. So we

16:14

need to get this, the rat tail. Don't

16:17

let this asshole fucking go for it. The

16:19

item in the auction is the rat tail,

16:21

which is a reference to Final Fantasy 1.

16:24

Yeah, and I mean, every time I see

16:26

this, I assume there's gonna be some cool

16:28

quest to go along with it because of

16:30

the first game. Bit, bit, bit, yeah, like,

16:33

I don't even know what we're supposed to do on

16:35

that. I was just

16:37

spending like all of our money right now.

16:40

Not necessarily. We're still pretty low. Yeah, we have

16:42

218,000 gill, and right now the price for the

16:44

rat tail, which is increasing every

16:49

second, is 13,800. But

16:53

I think you think it's 138,000. Or

16:56

that we have one less digit.

16:58

Yeah, I'm seeing the digits totally

17:00

incorrectly here. Oh, fuck you.

17:04

You all stop it. Jesus.

17:08

So I don't realize this yet, but I'm

17:10

driving the price up unnecessarily by bidding too

17:12

quickly. Yeah, you want to wait until the

17:14

very end and then put your bid in.

17:16

Something about how this works, like if you

17:18

bid right away, someone else will bid right

17:20

away. But if you wait, they'll

17:22

wait. I don't understand it, but you gotta wait.

17:24

The price of the rat tail is up to

17:26

20,000. Just whatever

17:29

it takes, man. A useful

17:31

way to avoid a bidding war is

17:33

to bid after the auctioneer asks

17:35

anymore right before he declares the

17:37

item sold. This temporarily halts the

17:39

countdown, but helps avoid most of

17:41

the bidding. Like whatever it

17:44

takes. I'm going to try something. Wait, I'm going

17:46

to get it, get it, get it. Hold on. I

17:48

think I can get it lower though. Like it's going to, it's like

17:50

200,000 gill right now. No,

17:53

it's, you're reading that wrong. It was 20,000 gill. We

17:56

need these too. You leave

17:58

and come back in. technically

44:00

the first of the three super bosses. Because eating

44:02

is all about combat. You

44:04

know, there's an argument you could make. That

44:07

eating is about combat? It involves it. You

44:09

do use some similar, you know, you have

44:11

weapons for your food. You have weapons to

44:14

eat, but also in order to get food

44:16

on your plate, you have to have made

44:18

a combat against an animal. Well, you can

44:20

eat plants. You combat them when

44:23

you place the print. You can trap animals.

44:26

And eat them without... anyway. Whatever.

44:28

Just think about your food as a

44:31

thing you're fighting. As battle. It's battle

44:33

when you eat it. Glorious food battle.

44:35

And you like yell at the cafeteria,

44:38

with my fork! And everybody like raises their

44:40

forks, and then you all rush into like

44:42

shoveling food into your mouth. You want to

44:45

do as much damage with each poke as

44:47

you can to the food on your plate.

44:49

If only numbers were popping off a

44:52

plate as I was stabbing the chicken. Cred.

44:55

No Mognet message this week, but if

44:58

you're interested in a Mognet, it's too

45:00

late. Let's just say it's

45:02

too late. The session is closed. This was

45:04

episode 61. You blew it. It's over. It's

45:07

too late. You're going to have to wait until... But

45:09

we'll have more next season. Open session

45:11

again. Mm-hmm. You can email me still

45:13

if you want. Yeah, email us anyway.

45:16

At nocappodcastatgmail.com. I'll read the email. Yeah.

45:18

Thank you so much to our Patreon

45:20

supporters. Yes, thank you. Your

45:22

support helps keep the show going, and we're

45:24

deeply appreciative of it. If you'd

45:27

like to join the ranks of the Patreon, head on over

45:29

to patreon.com/no cat. And for five

45:31

bucks a month, you unlock all of the

45:33

bonus content and video version of this season,

45:35

and all the other ones, and all of

45:38

the just extra stuff out there. So

45:41

head on over and grab that, and head on

45:43

over to Etsy and find our page, and you

45:45

can buy t-shirts and mugs. We appreciate it. We

45:47

appreciate it, yeah. Thank you.

45:50

Tell your friends. We really appreciate

45:52

you coming on this journey with us. Mm-hmm.

45:54

Is it time for the dessert? Yeah,

45:56

I think, you know, we got to make our own marshmallows

45:58

and probably look for them.