0:00

Hey guys, before we get started, we

0:02

wanted to let you know we were

0:04

guests on our Friends podcast, The Marvel

0:06

Star Wars Explorers. Yeah, we were covering

0:08

some episodes of Young Indiana Jones and

0:10

Indiana Jones Comics. Yeah, they've covered all

0:12

of the Star Wars comics, so they've

0:14

moved on to Indiana Jones. So

0:17

go check out their podcast, Star Wars

0:19

Marvel Explorers. We were actually on separately,

0:21

so it's the last two episodes. First

0:24

me and then Ryan. Go listen to

0:26

us talk about Young Indiana Jones and

0:28

the Indiana Jones Comics. That's

0:36

the first time I've ever landed it. Welcome

0:43

to No One Can Know About This,

0:45

a podcast where we play every final

0:47

fantasy. I'm Jeff Ekman. And I'm Ryan

0:49

Kasmiske. And here we go, season seven,

0:51

episode 63. We're

0:53

finally going into the final dungeon. It's happening.

0:55

Yeah, we're not going to beat the game

0:58

today, but we are going to go into

1:00

the final dungeon ways to look for Hades.

1:02

Yep. The optional super boss Hades is in

1:04

here. Yeah. And some ultimate weapons that we

1:06

want to grab. Yeah, there's some good items,

1:09

some stuff we want to do that'll help

1:11

us with Osmo. So the

1:13

plan this week is to go all the

1:15

way through to get all

1:17

those things and then backtrack for Osmo. Leave

1:21

and grind and level up more. It's the

1:23

most riveting way to end a story. To

1:25

pause the action. Most of the way into

1:27

the finale and then stop it. Yeah, for

1:29

another 10 or 15 hours or whatever. But

1:33

hey, we've been stopping it enough leading

1:35

up to this, you know, with

1:38

all of the auction housing

1:40

and... Well, I'm excited to

1:42

finally see some more story

1:44

shit. I'm stoked to go

1:46

over the ending of this. I

1:48

think it gets crazier from here.

1:50

Just yesterday, we just replayed the

1:52

ending of Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth

1:54

for the second time. Yeah. I'm

1:56

gonna be getting an overload of

1:58

just crazy things going on. at

2:00

the end of the Final Fantasy.

2:02

Yeah, I don't really remember what

2:04

goes down in here, but I

2:06

remember that it's wild. It's a

2:08

memory palace. Oh, right, right. You

2:10

know, it's called memoria. Where we

2:12

left off, we entered this big

2:14

purple ball above the ephatree. Yeah.

2:16

And we found ourselves on this

2:18

like cobblestone bridge leading up

2:21

to a giant castle. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. The

2:23

whole team's here. We're in a very

2:25

Dark Souls style walkway. It looks like

2:27

we're like many miles above a giant

2:29

city below us leading up to some,

2:32

you know, jumbo castle. Yeah, this background

2:34

is pretty insane. I think there is

2:36

like a huge city surrounding us. We're

2:38

on like a brick walkway with no

2:40

hand railings that's just kind of like,

2:43

you know, thousands of feet up in

2:45

the air. What is this meant to

2:47

be, memoria? Is it like

2:49

where Terra is touching Gaia? I don't know. I

2:51

think they're going to explain it. I

2:54

feel like it's some like pocket

2:56

realm that Kuja's created, you know,

2:59

after he blew up Terra. It's like

3:01

pieces, parts of the history that led

3:04

us here or something. It's hard to

3:06

remember what happens at the end of this

3:09

game because we played it almost full two

3:11

years ago. Well, yeah. And that's what I

3:13

was getting at with by saying rebirth is

3:15

like we've played other crazy games in

3:18

between. Final fantasy games. That have like

3:20

also filled our memory with garbage. So

3:22

like I cannot remember really what goes

3:24

down in here at all. Well,

3:27

this whole show is a memoria

3:30

for us. Yeah. That

3:32

we're always waiting through. Yeah. So

3:35

this is the next bit of waiting here. Let's

3:37

reenter our memoria. Let's see if we can

3:40

make some coherence out of this. As

3:42

we enter memoria. And maybe glean some

3:44

secrets about the world of Final Fantasy 9.

3:47

What's the real answer, Dan? Did someone just

3:49

call my name? No. VeeVee

3:52

just did. That's weird. Maybe

3:54

you're just hearing things. I don't think

3:56

so. You

3:59

hear that? You guys hear it?

4:01

I hear nothing. So Zidane is

4:03

hearing stuff that nobody else can

4:06

hear, and I guess whoever's tuning

4:08

into his brain gets the frequency

4:10

more correct, and the screen

4:12

kinda like dims down and we get

4:14

some text on top of it, classic

4:16

psychic in Zidane's head dialogue. Zidane,

4:20

can you hear me? Garland? I

4:23

am speaking only to you. Garland,

4:26

what is this place? And can you... You

4:28

aren't gonna believe me! A place of memories.

4:31

Talk to more people please.

4:33

Memories. Yes, your memories brought

4:35

forth this place. Here

4:38

you shall witness the entire truth. You

4:40

have no choice, now go. What

4:43

are you talking about? Damn. Zidane, what's

4:45

going on? You all heard me

4:47

talking, right? Yeah. It looks like

4:50

I was the only one who heard of him.

4:52

I was just talking to Garland. He told me

4:54

that our memories created this place. I don't know

4:56

what the hell he's talking about. I guess

4:58

we'll just have to move forward. At

5:01

least Zidane just relayed the information he just

5:04

received. I mean, Garland could have just talked

5:06

to everyone, that would have been convenient. This

5:08

is all from your memory. So I guess

5:10

this is the realm next to ours, where

5:13

our memories project into physical objects or something

5:15

like that. It was sprung forth from our

5:17

memory. This is a cool bridge we find

5:19

ourselves on. Or

5:21

whatever the fuck this is. A stairway?

5:23

Is there a moogle around here? Probably.

5:25

Oh cool. Oh is the world being

5:27

built? It's like being built. As

5:30

we walk up the path to the big

5:32

castle, it kind of pans up and we

5:34

see the top of it. And there's totally

5:36

like Tetris blocks falling from the sky, like

5:39

constructing the reality like upwards. The top of

5:41

the castle is only partway built, but these

5:43

pieces are filling in the blinds. They're being

5:45

downloaded. I bet this is the same. Oh,

5:48

they're no longer moogles though. The

5:51

save points around here are colorful

5:53

orbs. Which

5:55

I find... wrong. What

5:58

horrible dimension... Yeah, this is a fucked

6:01

up dimension. Yeah, memoria has like its

6:03

own special save points, which is weird,

6:05

because if it's made out of our

6:07

memories, shouldn't it be? I remember moogles.

6:10

The moogles are balls, you jump into

6:12

it. That's a

6:14

weird animation for that. I guess no

6:16

one's pulling out of books. Nobody's writing

6:18

with a big quill. When

6:21

we slept just now, we were in one

6:23

of those tents that has the pom-pom above

6:25

it. I don't know what that

6:27

does for our theory that the moogle turns inside

6:29

out and becomes the tent, if there's no moogle

6:31

in there. I dislike this whole save point thing.

6:33

It's really fucking with my head in ways that

6:36

aren't important. They're not important at all, but why?

6:39

I also remember the tent. And you're

6:41

right, how does the tent work if

6:43

it's not the moogle and the moogle

6:46

doesn't need to help you with the

6:48

tent? Anyway, we're in the castle-like hallway.

6:50

There's like a big stained glass kind

6:52

of like structure in front of us,

6:54

and we're, I don't know, in between

6:56

archways and rooftops. It's very lower in

6:58

Orlando. Alexandria also, I guess, is

7:00

kind of like that. It's a castle, too.

7:02

It's just there's a lot of parts of

7:05

this game that feel like Dark Souls-y places,

7:07

you know? The clearest recent reference is Dark

7:09

Souls. That's the easiest thing to say. But

7:11

maybe Dark Souls was referencing that. Well, yeah,

7:13

I mean, it's all, look, there is, Time's

7:16

Era was an illusion, but like, you

7:18

know, we gotta put the reference point

7:20

somewhere. Oh,

7:22

one of these guys. They

7:25

love putting this guy in a

7:27

final dungeon. We're fighting

7:29

something called an Iron Man, but it's the

7:31

enemy that's the big burly guy with a

7:33

giant sword in one hand.

7:36

He's kind of like a cartoony, two-story tall

7:38

suit of armor that has like a huge

7:40

Buster sword in one hand. The thing I

7:42

always remember is he walks up to you

7:45

and then punches you with his empty hand.

7:47

Yeah. Yeah, this. Fucking,

7:49

I love that move. I love that they keep

7:51

that for him. It's pretty

7:53

awesome. I love that for him. And you love

7:55

that he has fists. They

7:58

just let him have fists. battle

12:00

is like a boss fight. Kinda. They

12:02

are really, they have a lot of

12:05

statuses. It's important to use dagger's scan

12:07

spell on each new enemy you face.

12:10

Oh shut up. Pinpointing everyone's

12:12

weaknesses and exploiting them is

12:14

tantamount to survival in this

12:16

surrealistic layer. I

12:20

don't know why I'm being so defiant about that

12:22

because the fights in here are really pretty difficult

12:24

and it would be nice to know the weaknesses.

12:39

They're hidden save points. Really?

12:41

They're in every corner. It says as you

12:43

search along the right wall you'll find slip

12:45

into a hidden niche where you'll find a

12:47

new weapon for Freya. Did you find that?

12:50

That was like really early on and then

12:52

you'll find the tower. You can probably find

12:54

it on the way back when we hike

12:56

out of here. You

13:08

stole a dragon wrist from that dragon

13:10

right? If you'd stolen again you might

13:12

have gotten some grand armor. Wow.

13:16

Whoa. So that was called the nova dragon?

13:19

You could have used a tent on the

13:21

nova dragon which could cause it to go

13:23

blind. What? Oh

13:25

like put it on its head? I think.

13:29

Weird. You know what's great

13:31

about that is it has this really pointy

13:33

long nose so you can kind of imagine

13:35

that it would like fit right on there.

13:37

Of course. Are

13:44

you going back for the Freya weapon? I think it's like right here.

13:49

Okay. All the way back at the

13:51

start pretty much I find this weapon

13:53

you were telling me about. Yeah. It's

13:55

called Kain's Lance which is a reference

13:57

to Kain the Dragoon from FF5. I

14:01

mean, we probably won't even use it ever,

14:03

but... No, but like, if

14:05

we can get ultimate weapons... Yeah, we

14:07

never managed to do that, you know,

14:09

we'd just be satisfied. The fact that

14:11

we blew it so hard in FFE...

14:14

Well, that wasn't... that... I'm not

14:16

blaming ourselves exactly. I mean,

14:19

that was totally our fault, but... But at

14:21

the same time, though, what a shitty way

14:23

to get an ultimate weapon. And I'm more

14:25

mad that they never gave us a screw

14:27

naturally than I am that we

14:30

blew up our possibility of getting the ultimate

14:32

weapon. But, Jet, if you're not getting the

14:34

screw, that shouldn't make you wonder how to

14:36

get it. And try, you know? Dude... I

14:39

know, I... I want to upgrade a weapon. There

14:41

is no fucking... Yeah,

14:44

okay, this is one of the boss fights.

14:46

This is happening. So walking around, I get

14:48

into a fight with one of the Chaos

14:50

Guardians. It just begins like any random encounter

14:52

would, like the screen, you know... But

14:56

this one says, like, Baha, I am

14:58

a Chaos Guardian. It's like a red

15:00

and blue snake monster with six arms

15:02

that all hold scimitars. Yeah, we ran

15:04

into her. These Chaos Guardians are all

15:06

going to be the monsters from the

15:08

temples. A couple of them... The shrines.

15:10

The shrines. Which we didn't see all

15:12

of those boss fights. We didn't even

15:14

see all of those monsters. But now

15:16

we are. Like, this is an evolved

15:18

form of that. Those boss fights have

15:21

been shifted to here. We were complaining

15:23

about how we didn't get them. This

15:25

one's called Malaris. It just happened randomly.

15:27

Yeah, they actually... I just read that.

15:29

It attacks without warning. Baby's

15:38

ultimate weapon is still ahead. We

15:41

got the Excalibur, which is pretty awesome.

15:44

That was surprisingly easy and not

15:46

difficult. Both

15:49

of those things to go do

15:51

the auction. Yeah, seriously, I thought that would take

15:54

forever. It sounded so tedious, but it really was

15:56

not that bad at all. We got very happy

15:58

for it. In

16:01

the background, Hailey's taken some sips from

16:03

the toilet. A classic move. This is

16:05

the last one of the season. The

16:07

last toilet drink. Savor it. We've got

16:09

Keena's ultimate weapon. We have

16:12

daggers. Aiko's is also a

16:14

head. And so is

16:16

Amorett's. Wow,

16:18

I guess she didn't like the toilet water

16:20

taste this day. Because she went and actually

16:22

got her regular water from her water bowl.

16:24

Maybe she's just like trying all of them,

16:26

making the rounds. How's this fight going? Easy.

16:28

I mean we're so leveled for this place.

16:30

We're in the front. Is it peasy? Easy

16:33

peasy. It's reflective so I just can't get

16:35

it. You've got a lot of swords. I

16:37

don't know how you missed. I'm

16:43

going to snake with six arms, all

16:45

of which hold swords. Pretty

16:48

scary. Pretty good. I'm going to

16:50

etch it. Instead of like a viper bite, it's like

16:52

a flurry of blades.

16:54

Yeah, we're in the castle of

16:56

dreams. A place created entirely from

16:59

Zidane and the party's deepest fears

17:01

and their long forgotten pasts. Well,

17:04

what is this then? Like this snake

17:06

with swords? Some of their deepest fears. Or

17:08

their long forgotten pasts. Or their long forgotten

17:10

pasts. They've got to make a prequel. It's

17:13

over. They've got to make a prequel. Final

17:16

Fantasy IX. Reunion.

17:19

Preunion. Preunion. When

17:22

people should do preunions. Just like in the first game, they

17:24

have a fuck you move when they die. There should be

17:26

a preunion. A friend's

17:29

preunion. I don't know how you could do that, but...

17:31

A show by each of them before any of them

17:33

really met? Well,

17:35

I'm imagining like a mixer and

17:37

party for like elementary school kids

17:39

who are eventually going to graduate

17:41

high school together. So

17:43

it's just like any other party, but with the

17:45

context of like, you should all really... Well, no,

17:48

it's like a reunion, but it's happening on the other side of

17:50

it. It's happening at the beginning. Right.

17:53

Before you all get together. It's a pre-union. And I'm like,

17:55

it's an icebreaker. You have to change the way. Well,

17:57

no, it has to happen like... You have to... 10

18:00

or 20 years before you graduate high school. Well,

18:02

it can't have been 20 years, but you know.

18:04

10 years before you graduate high school, you go

18:06

to your 10 year pre-union with all the people

18:08

who you're gonna wind up graduating high school with.

18:10

And then you go to high school and you

18:12

have your whole high school experience. And

18:15

then 10 years after that, wait, there's a

18:17

ultimate weapon in here, I think. Isn't this

18:19

just what every party is? Like, let's say

18:22

a party. No, it has to happen before

18:24

you know the people. Yeah, but the part

18:26

where you first meet everyone. So like the

18:29

first birthday party you go to as a

18:31

kid in elementary school is like the pre-union.

18:33

No, no, no. You have to find out

18:35

where everybody's gonna wind up at high school,

18:38

which is gonna be different places. You have

18:40

to have foreknowledge. I'm not saying like a

18:42

preschool through 12k. I'm saying

18:44

like, you know, you're, you

18:47

would have to have, you would have to. This

18:50

is like a mystical experience where a sage sits

18:52

you and a group of like 100 people down

18:54

and is like, you will all graduate high school

18:56

together. And then it's true later, you know, and

18:58

that way you can. And you're looking around and

19:00

you're like, they don't even go to my school.

19:03

I don't even know these people. I don't know, well, I know a lot

19:05

of them. I know who a lot of them are, but some of them

19:07

I don't know. Cause someday we'll have

19:10

a reunion, but. Look, I've said it before,

19:12

I'll say it again. The world's not ready

19:14

for time travel. It may not be possible.

19:17

Isn't this Alexandria? What

19:19

is Alexandria Castle doing here? So we

19:22

kind of walk up to this big

19:24

balcony that's looking out over what looks

19:26

like a landscape. And it looks like

19:28

the top of Alexandria Castle is out

19:30

in front of us. Really? This is

19:32

a giant screen. Well, yeah, but. It's

19:34

gonna play a movie out for us.

19:36

I mean, I guess if Garland said

19:38

this place is built out of our

19:40

memories, it's like we're inside of like

19:42

a holodeck or something. Like the whole

19:44

sky turns into like the CG cut

19:46

scenes of Alexandria being destroyed. The

19:48

flames. And like the bit of castle

19:51

that seems to be physically in front

19:53

of us, like alters and starts breaking

19:55

and like its form changes. Hey. This

20:05

is when they destroyed Alexandria.

20:08

And now it's going,

20:10

what? What you talk about?

20:14

I don't see anything. And so apparently,

20:16

like, you know, we just saw the

20:18

invincible blow up Alexandria and a big

20:20

fireball and all that, but Kena didn't

20:22

see it. Of course you didn't see

20:24

anything. You weren't with us at the

20:26

time, so it's not in your memory.

20:28

And Zidane immediately knows that the reason

20:30

for this is because they weren't there,

20:32

Kena. So they don't have the memory,

20:34

so they're like missing the data for

20:36

the movie to play. Right. So

20:39

only we're seeing this part. Yeah, Dagger,

20:41

Iko, and Zidane could all see that.

20:43

It's a strange place. Maybe the dialogue

20:46

would be different if our party were

20:48

different. It might be. It just shows

20:50

you whatever you bring to it, you

20:53

know? What's the point of wasting time

20:55

explaining this concept to us? In his

20:57

bid to defy me, Kuja tried to

20:59

acquire Alexander. An incident 10 years ago

21:02

started everything. So

21:04

Garland tells us that Kuja's, like,

21:06

master plan was to acquire Alexandria.

21:09

Like that's why he, I guess,

21:11

started dealing with the queen and

21:13

giving her black mages 10

21:15

years ago an incident. Yeah. Started

21:18

it all. That's got to

21:20

be when Kuja started influencing

21:22

Queen Bronne. I think so.

21:24

10 years before Dagger's 16th

21:26

birthday. I do not have

21:29

a clear picture of the timeline in

21:31

my head, including, like, when was Zidane

21:33

lost from Terra? I found the Angel

21:35

Flute. Okay, so that's

21:38

another ultimate weapon wound down. Tense.

21:41

Yeah, the Angel Flute. That's

21:45

Iko's. Save

21:47

the game. Save the game. Save

21:50

the chain. Why are the save points secret?

21:52

Save the game. Save the world. Save

21:54

the king. Save the world. Did

21:57

I miss anything else? I don't think

21:59

so. I think we've still got the

22:01

the rune claws for Amoranda Head and

22:03

the Zeus thing. Both of which have

22:06

very distinct backgrounds that I should be

22:08

able to immediately recognize. Funky

22:11

staircase. Funky staircase. Not

22:13

you again. Well, luckily for you,

22:15

I built my entire party around fighting you,

22:18

so. Look at those flying things. It's

22:20

like a flying book and a flying bottle

22:22

of something. The

22:24

guide says that memories and regrets

22:26

continue to haunt those who experienced

22:29

them. Nah, that doesn't sound

22:31

right. Oh, yeah. Ha ha ha. Is

22:35

Ailey outside? What the fuck? Did I leave

22:37

a door open? Yes,

22:41

I had left a door open. She'd

22:43

made it outside. And we walked up

22:45

another spiral staircase this time that has

22:47

a bunch of stuff floating around it,

22:49

like the stuff from a mansion or something.

22:51

And at the top, we're

22:53

outside and it's raining. In addition to

22:55

that, for some reason, I decide to

22:57

go outside and fly the drone around

22:59

one more time in the middle of

23:01

this story sequence. Yeah, unannounced and for

23:03

no reason, I mean, you

23:05

got up to go look for Hailey. And now

23:07

I have the drone out? Yeah, I'm just catching

23:09

this. The hell? What are

23:11

you, why? I don't know. A

23:15

storm. Defense

23:22

Phantom, the most infamous

23:25

card master. While you

23:27

and Hailey frolic outside, I run

23:29

into another invisible card player, the

23:31

Defense Phantom this time. Ooh. At

23:40

some point in crashing the drone, I

23:42

accidentally fixed the camera control, like by

23:45

crashing it. So I think I'm trying

23:47

to get the shot I've been wanting

23:49

to get the entire time, going from

23:51

backyard all the way into the living

23:53

room. So that's happening right now. Oh,

23:56

okay. Come

23:58

on, Hailey. Haley come here

24:01

Haley go go go no Sorry

24:12

fuck Sorry, man. Okay.

24:15

I don't even know what to say about this

24:17

because I almost fucking took your head off And

24:19

it looks like I did it intentionally Yeah What

24:21

I have to say about it is that if

24:23

I were you know showing this to a jury

24:25

I would point out the remarkable amount You

24:28

show over this device before flying it

24:30

to my head at eye level turning

24:32

it towards me and flying it straight

24:35

at me Like it

24:37

literally like it hovers next to your head

24:39

I turn it to look at you And

24:41

then I think what I tried to do

24:44

was raise it up like I wanted to

24:46

do that But instead I

24:48

press forward so it turns

24:50

and just goes right towards

24:52

your eyeballs I ducked

24:54

though. I have amazing reflexes. You did

24:57

matrix them in fantastic shape Really

25:06

sorry about that Good

25:15

Beat the defense phantom. He was like you

25:17

won't be the easily house them.

25:19

You got the ribbon card. Yeah, it's an

25:22

important card I mean, I'm

25:24

gonna fight all of these ghost card players and

25:26

I'm gonna beat them all Let me see if

25:28

I got that video because that second one might

25:30

have corrupted there Think

25:33

it really It

25:38

doesn't like crashing Sometimes it

25:40

knocks the battery out of it's like

25:42

reasonably held latch and I feel like

25:44

it should be Everything

25:46

on there with some pretty good idea.

25:48

Yeah weirdly enough. They don't build the

25:50

drone Assuming you're crashing it. I think

25:52

it just has like the cheapest design

25:54

they could get away with the battery

25:56

barely hooks in yeah It's not very

25:58

secure. It's upsetting that it took this

26:00

long for one of us to think

26:03

to tape it into place, because that

26:05

absolutely would have solved it. Yeah, we

26:07

lost most of the footage from the

26:09

drone, because every time it crashed, it

26:11

would erupt. The battery popped out. No,

26:13

we lost that video, I think. Oh,

26:15

that's a shame. Because I had to

26:17

turn and look at you so nicely,

26:19

and then I went to have it

26:21

go this way and hit the wrong

26:23

direction. Oh, man. And it

26:25

flew right at you, which was not

26:28

my intention. Hailey's

26:31

getting a little too close to it, too.

26:33

Are you getting comfortable with it, Hailey? Do

26:36

you want to play with it, too? Oh, no.

26:40

I'm not controlling the camera again. For

26:43

some reason, it rained. In that last

26:45

crash, I seem to have re-broken the

26:47

camera control. And it never gets fixed

26:49

again. I don't know. What

26:51

happened to the camera? I mean, since crashing it

26:53

fixed it, maybe you should just try shoving it?

26:56

I don't even know. That's the thing, I wonder

26:58

if it popped out of some... Yeah, if there's

27:00

just a latch that it pops out of. This

27:06

is not looking good. Guess

27:08

you have to crash it more. You

27:11

know? Yeah, I'll just have to crash it

27:13

more. Hey, what are you doing? You shouldn't

27:15

go anywhere. There's a storm. So we come

27:17

up over a bridge that's looking down on

27:19

a little dock with a little boat in

27:21

it in the water. And what

27:23

looks like a little kid and an older person

27:26

with hoods on, much like the beginning of the

27:28

game with Dagger and her mother, are about to

27:30

get on a boat. And Zadane sees this and

27:32

says, watch out. You're going to get washed away

27:34

of the storm. Watch out. You're going to get

27:36

washed away. Are you an idiot, Zadane? This has

27:39

got to be Dagger and her

27:41

mom escaping. It is. And this

27:43

is Dagger's memory. So how does

27:45

Zadane see it unless he was

27:47

there? Whoa. Right. Dagger, I

27:49

just saw a little girl on a ship.

27:51

And, huh? I

27:53

guess it was my imagination. Yeah, it had

27:56

to be. What I just saw definitely isn't

27:58

one of my memories. What's going on? You

32:00

know, you might not have noticed this by

32:02

now, but Dagger has healing spells. Sorry I

32:04

almost threw that thing into your head. Excuse

32:06

me. Hahahaha. It was gonna

32:09

happen. Suppose so. I'm not even

32:11

worried about it at all. Oh

32:13

yeah, shock is great. Man,

32:16

this is so cool that the four

32:18

original FF bosses are like, sort

32:21

of secret bosses that happen at random

32:23

encounters that you go up. That's cool.

32:25

That's neat. Yeah. And it's all while

32:27

you're talking to Garland. Oh,

32:29

it's his memories maybe or something. Maybe

32:32

that's like the... It's his memories of

32:34

Final Fantasy 1. Yeah, something like that.

32:36

The doodle-doo, doodle-dee. We should

32:38

run into five bats. Yeah, I

32:40

hope so. That'd be a mind blower. It's time

32:42

to go down TMI. Why

32:46

do they want to cast float on people?

32:48

Is there something we still just don't understand

32:51

about float? Why enemies cast people? Why would

32:53

you ever do that? Yeah, let's find out.

32:55

I'm so curious. What is the fucking

32:57

point? Why do enemies cast float? We

33:02

walk into the eye and now we're walking around on

33:04

these like freshly blown up smoking ruins. This has got

33:07

to be Medane Suri like right after the cataclysm. Yeah,

33:10

big stone stairways. Float

33:13

levitates the target, making them immune

33:15

to earth damage. Yeah,

33:17

that's... I mean, and so

33:19

many enemies in these games cast float on you. Oh,

33:22

get it. Is it instructive? Is

33:24

it instructive? I mean, but that was a boss

33:27

that did it. I

33:30

feel like there's some other implication.

33:32

The enemies we use at Artyomat

33:35

and Yann as a counter attack.

33:37

Float is vulnerable to reflect

33:40

and works with return magic.

33:42

Maybe it's just to confuse you. I really... Yeah,

33:46

I can't think of anything. It makes

33:48

me feel like there's some hidden implication

33:50

to float that we don't understand, but

33:52

it doesn't seem like there is. Float

33:55

does not make the target weak to

33:57

wind, but Tiemat and Yann seem to...

36:00

the stairs and there's like a staircase that

36:02

ascends up off of the castle into the

36:04

sky. Do

36:07

not fly the drone towards

36:09

people, animals, or small flying

36:11

hundreds. Where is the DB's

36:13

thing? Have you gone down like a ladder?

36:16

I've done a lot of, I don't know. To

36:19

a big platform? I think it's pretty

36:21

late. Oh, this guy. Classic

36:23

final dungeon enemies all over this

36:25

place. Yeah, now we've run into

36:27

the floating eye that has the

36:30

two big wings. Yeah. Cast

36:32

death usually. Can't remember what it's

36:34

called ever. A veteran. Yeah, that's

36:36

right. The veteran. He

36:39

just owned himself. What

36:41

an idiot. He cast death on himself. What a

36:43

fucking idiot. Well, it's like a roulette thing, you

36:45

know. Well, that's a terrible way to live. What

36:50

is this? The fuck is that? We

36:52

ascend the staircase to the heavenly light,

36:54

and now we're on a bridge that

36:57

turns gravity sideways as it makes its

36:59

way towards the next castle. We've left

37:01

the Newtonian area of memoria. This castle

37:04

we're walking up to is pretty sweet

37:06

though. It's like a tesseract of a

37:08

castle. It's like a Borg cube castle.

37:10

There's spires on all sides of it.

37:13

Yeah, like all sides of it are

37:15

tops of castles. And

37:17

in the sky, there are two giant

37:19

orbs, one blue, one red, and they're

37:21

colliding. We're like in space. This is

37:23

like a celestial background. Is that a

37:25

cell undergoing mitosis, or are we the

37:28

opposite? Yeah, it's Terra and Gaia, you

37:30

know. Merging together. Two worlds smashing together.

37:32

That makes more sense. Two moons colliding?

37:34

No, they look more like planets. Well,

37:36

see, they have two moons behind them.

37:38

Yeah, they each have their own moon,

37:40

like any self-respecting planet. Why does this

37:42

look so familiar? That's

37:45

a picture of Gaia being assimilated by

37:47

Terra. Five thousand years ago, Terra, already

37:49

an old planet, sought to assimilate Gaia.

37:51

Terra needed to merge with a younger

37:53

planet to survive. However, there was already

37:56

life on Gaia. So

37:58

the story began. Oh yeah, I see.

38:00

I saw this in all of oil fruit. Mm-hmm.

38:03

So Zadane is seeing this because he

38:05

saw a representation of this one time.

38:07

Yeah, he's- And he's able to see

38:09

this memory. Luckily for Garland, yeah, he's

38:11

seen this before, so he can be

38:13

shown this. It's not a

38:15

great place to show people stuff they

38:17

don't know about. Life on Terra was

38:20

coming to an end. We had no

38:22

choice but to proceed with the fusion,

38:24

which tragically destroyed Terra's native civilizations. It

38:26

was true that Terra was too old

38:28

to assimilate everything. I didn't really

38:30

get this before, but it's like a

38:32

colonizer. It was obvious before,

38:34

but it's like that's the whole thing. Yeah,

38:36

but I didn't understand that in the process

38:38

of doing this, everyone on Terra was like

38:40

destroyed. Life on Terra was coming to an

38:42

end. We had no choice but to proceed

38:45

with the fusion, which- Right. Which

38:47

tragically destroyed Terra's native civilizations. This implies

38:49

they had huge, you know, the UN

38:51

was having arguments about whether or not

38:54

they should assimilate Gaia to continue life.

38:56

And they were like, if we do

38:58

it, it'll end everything. And then someone

39:00

hit a button and Garland was created.

39:02

And they went ahead with creating this

39:04

situation. They downloaded whoever they could into

39:07

pods and everyone else was just, you

39:09

know, shoved off. Thus I

39:11

created the Eva Tree to regulate the

39:13

flow of souls back to Terra. You

39:15

know, none of this matters to me

39:17

at all, Garland. I don't care. He

39:19

created the Eva Tree? Yeah, yeah. Good

39:21

for him. Battle screen is

39:23

cool here. We're out in space on a curvy

39:26

bridge. Yeah, the background is awesome. Heading

39:28

to this Borg Castle. So

39:33

I found the next official save

39:36

point grid in this room. This

39:38

is beautiful. There's a big manmade

39:40

waterfall flowing through giant stone pillars.

39:43

Yeah, we're in some sort of

39:45

fantasy aqueduct. What the hell are

39:47

these heads? They look- With

39:50

like feathers all over them? They look

39:52

like heads wearing- Headdresses? Headdresses. Like

39:54

feathered headdresses. Like big stone heads on

39:57

top of the columns on either side

39:59

of the waterfall. This waterfall looks like

40:01

you'll be walking through it. It does.

40:03

It's one of those inviting waterfalls. That

40:05

every video game has. I think you

40:07

keep moving forward, man. It's

40:10

going to be a hell of a trek out of here, obviously. Well,

40:12

you know, just like the northern crater, like the

40:14

idea of walking all the way back out of

40:16

that is so weird. I guess

40:19

that's why Osma is so secret. Wow,

40:21

we in ocean now, fish everywhere. The

40:23

next room is all flooded. Yeah, it

40:26

looks like we're like on the bottom

40:28

of the ocean floor and Kina is

40:30

actually floating and swimming. I think this

40:32

might be their memory from their lost

40:34

adventure when they were in the water

40:36

for a long time. When they saw

40:38

the shiny and jumped and then the

40:40

guy was like suicide. They got fished

40:43

out of the water. Yeah. Yeah. Yum,

40:45

yum. What are you doing? Swimming at

40:47

the fish today. You will catch fish.

40:49

Oh, can we catch fish? I don't

40:51

think so. What is

40:53

this? Hard to breathe. Oh,

40:56

can't breathe. That's because you

40:58

think we're inside an ocean. Think your way out

41:01

of this problem. I can breathe

41:03

fine. We not in ocean? Upon

41:05

thinking we're not in the ocean, Kina

41:07

falls to the ground. Yeah, and can

41:09

breathe again, realizing they're not actually in

41:11

the ocean. I guess Zidane isn't seeing

41:13

all of this that we're seeing. Couldn't

41:16

Kina breathe in water earlier

41:18

or at least like? No, she was like,

41:20

I might die if I go in the

41:22

river, but I'm hungry. Right. You right. I

41:24

breathe OK. Because you realized

41:27

you're not in the ocean. Because

41:29

it's just a memory, you know? Right.

41:31

Fish all gone. I said. Yeah,

41:33

that is sad. So I find

41:35

another secret exclamation point in this

41:37

room. Like among the coral of

41:40

the underwater life. And a mysterious

41:42

voice says, who dares disturb my

41:44

sleep? Who dares disturb my sleep?

41:46

Leave it once or you will die. Don't

41:50

leave. Is this

41:52

Hades? Has to be. Haddis? Oh,

41:54

shit. I think we might get our shit kicked in.

41:57

Yeah, did you say? Yeah. The

41:59

screen goes to. all black. And

42:01

Hades is a kind of

42:03

lich sitting on a horrible

42:05

throne in the middle

42:07

of a nothing space. This is the secret

42:09

boss we came here to find before Ozma.

42:11

It's like having a boss fight on Charlie

42:13

Rose. Oh, nice throne. Cool

42:17

sword. I should steal

42:19

from him. Jesus,

42:22

okay. Shock

42:27

is insanely good. It

42:29

also costs a lot of money. Well,

42:31

we got funny aethers and elixirs. We're

42:34

drowning in elixirs. We're not drowning in aethers.

42:37

We don't need elixirs. Yeah, I will

42:39

in serious bites, but. Well,

42:41

this is Hades. Yeah, I know.

42:43

I'll use him. I'm serious for me.

42:46

I was just, you know, yeah, dude.

42:49

Being hasted really helps mitigate being

42:52

frozen and stuff. Auto-gaze

42:55

feels very powerful. Yeah, it's

42:58

amazing. You're

43:06

doing really well. Yeah, my memory is

43:08

that we absolutely kick his ass. Nice.

43:19

This looks tough, but do. I'm

43:22

unless you start hitting you with some

43:25

really fucked up shit. I

43:28

think I just did it. Dude, Osmaw

43:30

is fucked. We're

43:36

going to put all our shadow gear. Oh

43:38

yeah, we're just going to fucking house that.

43:41

Hades is dead. And after you beat him,

43:43

he becomes a store. Which is awesome. Yeah,

43:45

like the last synth shop in the game,

43:47

I think. That just leaves Osmaw as far

43:50

as super bosses. We did the other two.

43:52

I commend you for overcoming me. I shall

43:54

reward you for your impressive feat. Bring two

43:56

pumice pieces here and I will synthesize them

43:58

for you. the end product or something, only

44:01

I can create. We

44:03

do want those, but you know, maybe we

44:05

can buy them. Ask him for two pumice

44:07

pieces. He can make special stuff no one

44:09

else can. I think he makes a whole

44:11

pumice, which Dagger can use to learn something.

44:13

That makes perfect sense, you know. Let me

44:15

see where we can get pumice pieces. We're

44:17

gonna have to do this no matter what,

44:19

because this teaches Dagger the ultimate idol on

44:21

the whole pumice. They

44:24

drop from the boss in oil vert.

44:26

Another one is found on the outer

44:28

island Chugga Graf treasure. Okay, so we

44:30

can't get more of them. Able to

44:33

be picked up after progressing Chugwaheim cold.

44:35

Pumice pieces also stolen from Osmah and

44:37

synthesized at Hades shop. We

44:40

don't have to adjust the pumice, he does all

44:42

kinds of stuff. And he can make more, oh,

44:45

but it takes the hammer. Not only can

44:47

Hades synthesize a full pumice out of two

44:49

pumice pieces, he can also make pumice pieces

44:51

out of pumice and a hammer. But we've

44:54

heard that the hammer might give you a

44:56

secret cutscene, so we want to hold on

44:58

to that. It takes the hammer to make

45:00

a pumice piece, right. It also takes the

45:02

hammer to make the ultimate armor for him.

45:05

The tin armor, yeah. And then also if

45:07

we keep the hammer in our inventory,

45:09

we'll get a cutscene at the end.

45:12

Yeah, which I'm leaning

45:14

towards doing that. And

45:16

I mean, I think we know what the

45:18

cutscene is gonna be. It's like, oh, Senna,

45:20

we're looking for your hammer, weren't

45:23

you? This isn't for anybody. Save

45:25

the queen? Yeah. That's the sword

45:28

that Beatrix has,

45:31

I think. I think that's like Beatrix's

45:33

sword. One of the things that you

45:35

can synthesize here is Beatrix's sword. Yeah,

45:37

save the queen, it's called. And it's

45:39

really strange, because I'm pretty sure no

45:41

one can even use it. It's like,

45:43

you can just make this for... For

45:46

fun. For feather and cap reasons.

45:48

For feather and cap. Is

45:52

it for Amaran to throw? Like, is that

45:55

why you want it? Player

45:57

can get it in the inventory in the endgame via

45:59

synthesis. but no one in the party can equip it,

46:01

it's included as an easter egg. Great.

46:04

I kinda think we should fight

46:06

Osbon before we turn on our

46:08

pumice pieces. Unless we wanna

46:11

use the ultimate summon on...

46:14

But the main strategy is using pumice pieces

46:16

to absorb shadow magic, right? But we also

46:18

have like demon mail and other stuff that

46:20

does it. Not that she can wear. That's

46:22

the thing. Is that... Yeah, you may be

46:24

right. Maybe we can't... Like I don't think

46:26

we should blow these up right now. No,

46:28

we shouldn't do it right now. But when

46:30

are we gonna learn the ultimate idol? I

46:32

guess what we'll do is... Cause you can

46:35

use it before learning it, right? As long

46:37

as it's on. Yeah, it's just a way.

46:39

Mm-hmm. Stop here and get the pumice

46:41

when we're actually going to the final thing and put

46:43

it on dagger and we'll summon the last

46:46

idol on. So our plan is

46:48

to do that on the other end of

46:50

Osbon. Yeah, well I'm worried that we'll like

46:52

not have enough shadow absorbing material to beat

46:54

Osbon if we like do it now. And

46:56

I just wanna see that final summon. I

46:59

think we probably could have gotten it and

47:01

been fine. I think so too. But... I

47:04

think we just gotta get Vivi's final weapon

47:06

and then we're gonna be able to turn

47:08

around and go fight Osma. And walk all

47:10

the way out and go, yeah, and then

47:12

fight Osma. But right now we should go

47:14

ahead a little bit further and get Vivi's

47:16

thing. Look at Osma's strategies.

47:18

Like, see if we're right about this

47:20

shadow thing or... I mean, I got

47:22

that Froma script. Oh, okay. Let's

47:25

continue forward in the dungeon and

47:27

find ourselves on another stone stairway

47:29

above water. Yeah, it's

47:31

like this one's been flooded or something.

47:34

And then Zidane says something that I

47:36

don't know where he got this information

47:38

from or what it's supposed to imply.

47:40

Let's just hear it. Let's hear it.

47:42

So, guy, it used to be just

47:44

one big ocean. How do you know?

47:47

I don't know. I don't know. For

47:49

some reason it's in my memory. I wasn't even born

47:51

at the time. It doesn't make any sense. And

47:54

I was born on Terra, not Gaia. So how can

47:56

it be in my memory? It's in

47:58

my memory, too. Gaia used to

48:01

be covered in water. Because you're made

48:03

up of soul shit from Gaia. You're

48:05

made up of soul shit. As

48:07

Carl Sagan once said, we're all made

48:10

of star shit. And we

48:14

are away from the Gaia to know

48:16

what's so. I think that

48:18

means all existence can be traced back to

48:20

a single source. I don't

48:22

understand. I guess this is like

48:24

the collective memory we all share

48:26

of coming from the water. Are

48:28

the memory of the ancients? Like

48:31

the memory of our DNA? Yeah,

48:33

yeah. Like we used to be

48:35

fish. How crazy is that? I

48:38

don't know. One

48:43

thing that must be understood is the unique way

48:45

in which the ATV system works for Osmo. Osmo's

48:48

ATV. Kraken.

48:51

Kraken. You're fighting

48:53

another fiend. And I guess this must

48:55

be the one that Dagger and Ico

48:57

fought that we didn't see at all. The

48:59

Kraken. The Kraken. It's like a fish

49:01

man. Big fish man. Yep. With tentacles for

49:04

legs. And golden armor. Yeah, he's got

49:06

some golden gold-plated armor and a sheet of

49:08

plate mail that hangs between his legs

49:10

to protect his fish dong. Look at this

49:12

guy. These all look sick. These are

49:14

all such good designs. Yeah, this is good.

49:18

It's kind of like fat leg

49:21

tentacles. Gross. While you're fighting the

49:23

Kraken, I continue reading strategies for

49:25

Osmo. Osmo's ATV will fill up

49:28

whenever you select a command unless

49:30

the commands are selected during one

49:32

of Osmo's attack animations. His

49:35

attacks will also take priority, meaning he

49:37

will get a ton of attacks off

49:39

compared to your party. Osmo can use

49:41

Holy, which can be devastating, but he

49:43

will not use it against characters who

49:45

absorb Holy damage. He will, however, waste

49:47

a turn casting Holy against characters who

49:49

are simply immune to Holy damage. In

49:52

the fight against Kraken, Steiner just

49:54

went trance. So equip Chimera armlets

49:56

to achieve Holy immunity. Okay, so

49:58

yeah, we need to not... give

50:00

it any of our any shit

50:02

yeah not yet we only need

50:04

to get baby's thing you can

50:07

and should nullify confused poison slow

50:09

mini and darkness we may need

50:11

a level of bit I think

50:13

more ability yeah I think you

50:15

need to auto reflect as well

50:17

to nullify berserk but he won't

50:19

use status attacks if there's no

50:21

chance of them working so maybe

50:24

forgo poison protection or darkness protection

50:26

on your mages to entice him

50:28

into using those moves instead of

50:30

his more dangerous attacks that's fun

50:33

okay I think this is the first boss we caught that's like smart

50:36

that will like change based on what your

50:39

abilities are as far as we know that

50:41

yeah I can think of why doesn't dagger

50:43

ever get to go what the fuck is

50:45

going on here like I

50:48

put in means

50:50

the dang thievery gets stronger every

50:52

time he successfully steals well

50:55

I wish I had known that we should

50:57

have looked that up because that's one way

50:59

to get guaranteed max damage tax and

51:02

then yeah kina's frog drop if

51:04

you keep catching frogs freya's dragon

51:06

crest gets stronger with every dragon

51:09

kill I there is okay

51:11

man there is so much shit we

51:13

didn't even know that's really yeah I

51:15

know but that's that's pretty well all

51:19

right I put in kiraga like

51:21

forever ago can you please cast

51:23

it like what yeah like why

51:25

didn't you cast it I'm putting

51:27

in other commands and

51:29

people are going I'm just like there

51:32

is something with the animations hey you

51:35

got a real miss turns I know

51:40

that was insane daggers turns somehow got

51:42

so lost in the order that never

51:44

even went no like I put in

51:46

a kiraga like three turns before and

51:48

she put off an attack like before

51:50

the end of the fight and her

51:52

last move was an attack that I

51:54

had put in even before the kiraga

51:56

the kiraga never even came anyway there's

51:58

something seriously wrong with the fight battle

52:01

system sometimes. I think Afreya can

52:03

use jump to potentially avoid Osmo's

52:05

devastating attacks. And also Osmo is

52:07

level 99, which means that

52:10

Kena is level 3 defenseless, which

52:12

works on a multiple of three, will work

52:14

against him. Wow, okay.

52:16

And then preparing for doomsday

52:18

is important. It

52:21

deals shadow damage. All this information is going

52:23

to be important next week. Yeah. So keep

52:25

it in your heads. Equip

52:31

the demon's mails, the

52:33

egoist sartlets, the ninja gear,

52:36

the pumice pieces. Because I think we'll be able

52:38

to buy some ninja gear if we need one

52:40

of the stores. And yeah, if the

52:42

whole party is immune

52:44

to shadow damage, use VV

52:46

to use doomsday offensively. And

52:50

at the end of the day, be prepared

52:52

to reset the game if things don't go

52:54

your way. You start moving forward further into

52:56

the castle. You're now

52:58

on a floating structure of half a

53:01

giant clock. Yeah, it's like a top

53:03

of a clock tower that's been broken

53:05

off. The second hand on the clock

53:07

is freaking out. It's staying in the

53:09

same spot, kind of jiggling. One of

53:11

Osmo's main methods of attack is meteor.

53:13

Ah, I'm another card man. I'm the

53:15

ghost of the cardmaster empress. I'm

53:18

challenging you. It's too bad. These should

53:20

be the ghosts of the card club

53:22

from everything. It's

53:34

too bad Frank Sinatra isn't around anymore.

53:36

You can't sing Final Fantasy. Final

53:39

Fantasy songs. These

53:42

cards players are not very smart. I'm

53:45

completely kicking these people's asses.

53:47

They have a lot of rare cards. What do

53:49

you want, do you want this one? Yeah, I'm

53:51

fine man. Boko. We just

53:53

got the card for Boko. The old

53:56

chocobo from the early games. It's

53:58

even pixelated and stuff. And this is

54:00

a perfect opportunity to mention that Bobby

54:02

Corwin is long for BOCO. Yep, that's

54:04

a thing we've learned. It's a not

54:06

so fun fact. I don't like this

54:08

fact. I feel like we gotta be

54:10

getting close to the VV thing. Geez,

54:12

that's one big square ball. Could it

54:14

be a moon? Could it be a

54:16

move? We walk into a room that's

54:18

sort of like a big just circular

54:20

platform in the air that's looking out

54:22

into a void where there's like a

54:25

molten sphere, just a ball of fiery

54:27

planet. And we're told this is the birth

54:29

of Gaia. And there's a big ladder going

54:32

up from this platform into the sky. Yeah.

54:34

This is the birth of Gaia. That's Gaia.

54:36

Over 5,000 years ago. Oh,

54:38

over 5,000 years ago. I'm fucking

54:41

a lot longer than that, my friend. I

54:43

mean, this is a different place. It could

54:45

have been 7,000 years ago. What's

54:47

above that ladder? What's above the

54:49

ladder? Where does that

54:51

ladder go? Terror reached the peak of its

54:53

prosperity at this time. It goes up. People

54:56

believed that their future was secure. Ultimately,

54:58

that very hubris led to Terra's

55:00

demise. Thus, I was created to

55:02

deal with our place. This

55:05

really is mostly just information we already got

55:07

when we went to Terra, right? Yeah. Well,

55:09

yeah. I mean, I guess it's just more.

55:12

I don't see how it's important that like

55:14

Gaia was a molten ball when

55:16

Terra was at the height of its prosperity.

55:18

Well, and like, I don't see why that

55:21

matters. That was why he

55:23

was created. Yeah. No, we knew

55:25

this. Yeah. Where

55:27

to now in this memory land? Yeah, this

55:29

is where it is. There. We've

55:34

got Vivi's ultimate weapon. Yeah, up at the

55:36

top of the ladder from the previous room,

55:38

the ultimate weapon is there and things are

55:40

starting to look really serious and it's feeling

55:42

like it's all about to come to a

55:44

head. There's one more ladder. Should we turn

55:46

around and run? Like, should we

55:48

go and out of here from here? Or

55:50

do we like go forward a little and

55:52

save and then go? We just saved. You

55:55

know, I mean, why don't we head

55:57

back? Let's see what's at the top of this. At

56:01

the top of the ladder is a very

56:03

serious looking doorway so we turn around.

56:05

Yeah let's go back we might as well.

56:08

We got what we came for. Save as much

56:10

of the ending story beats for the actual run

56:12

out as we can. The

56:15

funny thing is I think there's a teleporter that

56:18

will take you back to the world map at

56:20

the end of this dungeon. If we had kept

56:22

going a little bit yeah. But instead we're gonna

56:24

run out. Save again. I

56:26

think there was gonna be a boss fight there and

56:29

then it's probably the real point of no return.

56:31

But I think we should go back. You know we'll

56:33

run through this place again. After

56:37

Oz was dead. That's

56:43

where we're gonna end episode 63. Metagaming

56:46

really sucks the joy out of everything. I don't

56:48

think I would do it this way again because

56:51

as I'm going over it I'm like we're actually

56:53

not even paying attention to stuff

56:55

happening in this dungeon because we don't care

56:57

because we're not in our minds. We gotta

56:59

go get the where's the screen. Yeah it's

57:01

like all we care about is like get

57:03

it making sure we don't miss the items.

57:06

You know yeah that's why I always think

57:08

I should with from software games because there's

57:10

so many ways to lock yourself out of

57:12

huge parts of those games if you don't

57:14

know what you're doing. But I

57:16

would much rather just have the loss. Yeah

57:18

I'd rather have the organic experience I think.

57:20

I mean I get why we did it

57:22

here but now that we've done it both

57:25

ways. And I respect somebody using a guide

57:27

like it's also a perfectly valid way to

57:29

do it. Yeah sure sure. I'm commenting on

57:31

our lack of attention that we're paying to

57:33

this important part of the game. Well

57:36

it's also info we already got. It's

57:38

just being presented differently. Well yeah I

57:40

mean it's mostly info we already got

57:42

and the new info we're getting feels

57:44

like oddly specific in ways that aren't

57:46

important. Like who gives a shit that

57:48

Gaia was a molten ball when Terra

57:50

was the height of the Civil War.

57:53

And then after that it was all

57:55

ocean. Yeah exactly like before how is

57:57

that there were continents anything like why.

57:59

Why are they putting such a point

58:01

on that stuff? But they were too

58:03

young or... Terra was too

58:05

old or... Well this is why I need

58:07

Sakaguchi to write his New Age books so

58:10

I can know why it's important that we

58:12

all start it in the water, Jeff.

58:14

Because they comment on it. It does... I

58:16

don't know why... Maybe if we finish Fantasian Part

58:19

2, we'll understand. Maybe. Maybe

58:21

that's his book. Maybe. Because I feel like

58:23

we're reading Sakaguchi's book about New Age. No,

58:26

you don't understand. I want him not... No, I

58:28

get it. You want a

58:30

philosophy. I don't want to like,

58:32

to guess anymore. Anyway, but that's

58:34

it. We're almost done with this

58:36

game. We're gonna go fight

58:38

Osmah next week and then after that

58:40

we're gonna go do the finale. It's

58:42

funny that we've only done three of

58:44

the four fiends right now. Yeah. We

58:47

turned around before the fourth fiend. Well that's what I

58:49

mean. It's such an unsatisfying

58:51

way to play the game. To go

58:53

part way through the final dungeon and

58:55

then peace out. So I guess I

58:57

apologize for that audience, but that's how

58:59

we've done it. We fight Osmah and

59:02

Spencer Crittenden returns. Oh yeah. He shows

59:04

back up to hang out with us

59:06

while we fight Osmah. And then after

59:08

that it's the end of the game.

59:10

Yeah. Oh man. We're

59:12

getting there. It's approaching. I think this is

59:15

the longest season we've ever done. Yeah? Unless

59:18

you count season 6b. Let

59:20

me go... How do

59:22

I even... How do you find our show? I don't know.

59:25

Season 4 was 47. Season

59:27

6 was 43 plus I think another

59:29

16. Yeah. Okay.

59:33

So that's like 59 total. So

59:35

we are in unprecedented territory. This

59:37

is long. This was episode 63. Sorry

59:39

for going long everybody. There's two more.

59:41

I've been having a great time. It

59:43

will be bedtime soon. I

59:46

was thinking, you know, this is popular these days.

59:48

We really should do a 10 hour super cut

59:50

of chewing sounds to sleep to. Oh

59:53

yeah. Your people just put it on to

59:55

sleep. Who's chewing what to sleep to? The

59:57

number of like shows I listen to. that

59:59

I then went and see like, oh, they

1:00:01

have a playlist that you're meant to just

1:00:03

like, not pay attention to. Just please put

1:00:05

this on and sleep. Which

1:00:07

is like hilarious instructions in an ad driven

1:00:10

universe. We should do that. When you're like,

1:00:12

don't watch this, just leave it on, let

1:00:14

the ads play, like just let it run

1:00:17

all day and all night. I mean, it's not

1:00:19

a bad business model. We might provide that in

1:00:21

between seasons. We're gonna think about it. Keep

1:00:24

an eye out. It's a reason to

1:00:26

keep tuned. Stay tuned, but don't sleep.

1:00:29

That's the plan. Okay. Let

1:00:31

the ads run. Oh, but before we go, let's check

1:00:33

in with the dog net and see if there are

1:00:35

any messages for us. She's so

1:00:37

fast now. Yeah. Let's play the

1:00:39

flute anyway. Oh, thank

1:00:41

you so much for this message. She messaged,

1:00:43

jumped right up. I mean. Thank

1:00:46

you so much. I mean, she now knows

1:00:48

the routine. So like she actually, I think

1:00:50

understands when I say, let's check in with

1:00:52

the dog net. She actually like, he's like,

1:00:54

oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta come

1:00:56

over. It's treat time. These are the clucky

1:00:58

soft bakes chicken recipe with sweet potato. That

1:01:01

sounds like a whole dinner. Honestly.

1:01:03

Made with sweet potato for your little

1:01:05

sweet potato. Clucky soft bakes

1:01:08

with sweet potato. I mean. And

1:01:11

you like it. I would get that a chick-fil-a. Good

1:01:15

girl. The message comes to

1:01:17

us from PJ and it

1:01:20

reads, hi, my name is PJ and

1:01:22

I wanted to give a big shout

1:01:24

out to my friend Robbie, who has

1:01:26

recently become engaged to Lisa. Robbie and

1:01:28

I met a long time ago as

1:01:30

young moogles in MOG school and we

1:01:32

quickly became friends over our interest in

1:01:34

Final Fantasy. We both agreed that Final

1:01:36

Fantasy IX was the pinnacle of the

1:01:38

series, whether it was dipping our toes

1:01:40

into some of the philosophical quandaries presented

1:01:43

by the colorful characters or teaching each

1:01:45

other how to play the soundtrack on

1:01:47

the piano. The game has served as

1:01:49

one of the cornerstones of our friendship,

1:01:51

Kupo. Robbie has consistently given me a

1:01:53

wise word that I

1:01:55

can't believe that Kupo is worthy of the

1:01:57

scholars of Alexandria. Last year, when he told

1:01:59

me about No Cat, The show has given

1:02:01

us a chance to relive our memories and

1:02:03

so upon hearing the happy news of his

1:02:05

forthcoming nuptials to Lisa It

1:02:07

seemed entirely appropriate to mark it

1:02:09

with a special magnet letter koopopo

1:02:11

Lisa is a magnificent moogle witty

1:02:13

entrepreneurial as well traveled as stiltskin

1:02:15

himself She is a rare treasure

1:02:17

with the most elegant pom-pom And

1:02:19

it brings me joy to know

1:02:21

that these two great moogles will

1:02:23

soon share a koopo nut under

1:02:25

the gaze of Lord Gizm

1:02:27

Luke or in the far off land of

1:02:30

conda P. D. Koopo So

1:02:33

please fellow moogles join me in

1:02:35

wishing these two a beautiful future

1:02:37

together koopo repo Wow well, you

1:02:39

know Congratulations to the

1:02:41

happy couple. Yes. Congratulations Lisa and

1:02:43

Robbie. I formally wish you a

1:02:46

beautiful future together Off

1:02:49

to conda PD with you now. Yes To

1:02:52

be on the kirk boat

1:02:55

get yeah, you got to get you

1:02:57

to do Kirk boat I can't remember

1:02:59

how to eat to you Kirk boat.

1:03:01

They had a very thick thick accent

1:03:03

Yes, but yeah get to the Kirk

1:03:05

boat post haste Congratulations,

1:03:07

and yeah Final Fantasy 9 is a good one.

1:03:10

You know, you could definitely base a friendship on

1:03:12

that Thanks so much for the letter. That's a

1:03:14

great one. Yeah. Thank you PJ If

1:03:16

you're interested in a magnet message next season

1:03:18

would be the time to do it So

1:03:21

thank you everybody who's gotten one. We really

1:03:23

appreciate thanks so much for being a part

1:03:25

of the season all of your message Yeah,

1:03:27

and adding to the totality that is no

1:03:29

one can know about this The show wouldn't

1:03:31

be the same if you had not written

1:03:33

in so, you know Let that serve as

1:03:35

inspiration to all of you to write in

1:03:37

for next season. Thank you so much to

1:03:40

our patreon supporters You've gotten us through another

1:03:42

season almost. Thank you. Look at you Champions

1:03:45

today what a team and next week we're

1:03:47

gonna beat osmo But if you would like

1:03:50

to join the ranks of the patreon head

1:03:52

on over to patreon.com/no cat and for five

1:03:54

bucks A month you unlock all of the

1:03:56

bonus content, which as the season ends is

1:03:58

gonna be more useful to you than ever

1:04:01

Yeah, that's when you can go get into

1:04:03

our FF7 Rebirth playthrough, which

1:04:05

is airing right now. Is

1:04:07

continuing to air and will air after the season.

1:04:10

And our Oblivion playthrough, which is gonna

1:04:12

be a really fun... Oblivion, that's a

1:04:14

super fun game and we were gonna

1:04:17

dig a little bit into my love

1:04:19

of Bethesda games there. So that's good

1:04:21

bonus stuff to keep you going. Yeah,

1:04:23

so check out the Patreon. Thank you

1:04:25

so much for being listeners. Thank you

1:04:27

for being patrons. Thanks for keeping the

1:04:29

show going all these years. We really

1:04:31

appreciate it. And that's it. That's all

1:04:33

folks. Ensure season 8 today

1:04:36

by signing up and telling your friends.

1:04:38

Tell your friends, please. Great and review

1:04:40

us. All that. We appreciate it. We

1:04:43

now need a dessert. Oh my god,

1:04:45

you know what you gotta do. You

1:04:47

gotta go get the Peach Sour Patch

1:04:49

Candies. And you gotta get

1:04:51

a whole thing of cut up watermelon. You

1:04:54

gotta eat them both at the same time.

1:04:56

Water... so it's fresh watermelon? Yeah, whatever the

1:04:58

sour stuff on the candy is. I'm sure

1:05:00

you could use any sour candy. The water

1:05:02

in the watermelon melts it. And it just

1:05:04

is crazy. It's so good. Like

1:05:07

you will be drooling all over yourself. Your

1:05:09

saliva glands are gonna be out of control.

1:05:11

That's what's for dessert? That's what's for dessert.

1:05:14

Enjoy. I gotta find out what's the deal.

1:05:16

What's the deal with the birds and the

1:05:18

bees, you know? The talk, also known as

1:05:20

the birds and the bees, is an American

1:05:23

colloquial expression referring to the right of message.

1:05:25

Okay, wrong about the British, okay. Yeah, it's

1:05:27

American. It's a metaphorical story sometimes told to

1:05:29

children in an attempt to explain the mechanics

1:05:31

and results of sexual intercourse. There's an actual

1:05:33

story? The bees carry and

1:05:36

deposit pollen into flowers, a visible

1:05:38

and easy to explain parallel to

1:05:41

fertilization. Female birds laying eggs is

1:05:43

similar... Oh, you use both birds

1:05:45

and bees as separate metaphors to

1:05:48

explain... I thought the bee stung

1:05:50

the bird. I was like, I... yeah, I mean... You

1:05:53

just use... you begin by being like,

1:05:56

well, sex is kind of like... Drop

1:05:58

the bee, yeah. And

1:06:00

then much later a bird lays an egg. These

1:06:05

two actions have nothing to do

1:06:07

with one another, and yet they're

1:06:09

inextricably intertwined. Do you understand yet?

1:06:12

Do you understand, young one?

1:06:14

Like kids understand loboteny more

1:06:16

than they could have. Surely

1:06:20

you have a clear understanding of how

1:06:22

pollination works, child. And

1:06:25

eggs are no mystery to one such

1:06:27

as yourself. Like what? Yeah. Pest

1:06:30

me no more. And

1:06:32

never use the word sex around me ever

1:06:34

again.