0:00

Yeah, so I got a

0:02

couple thoughts here. More like

0:04

questions. The really important

0:06

stuff, you know. So

0:09

I'm sitting here just

0:11

kind of mowing down

0:14

a large, half of a

0:16

large chick fillet fry. And

0:18

I finish with the fries

0:20

and I'm looking at

0:22

my keyboard and I'm

0:25

going, these keys don't

0:27

want these fingers, you

0:29

know. And I wiped

0:31

him with a napkin, but you

0:33

know that doesn't like get

0:35

the grease, you know? And

0:38

like, yeah, I could go

0:40

wash my, okay, I'm realizing

0:42

the answer is to go

0:44

wash my hands, but, but

0:46

you know, like, you eat a

0:49

little something, you got

0:51

a little chick fillet fry

0:53

grease on your fingers, what

0:56

are you gonna do? Suck

0:58

on the fingers. dry

1:00

him off on the nap,

1:02

kid. And then go back

1:05

to typing. So I

1:07

did it. It was... So

1:09

here's the thing. And

1:11

then what I realized

1:13

is, is licking your

1:16

fingers socially

1:18

acceptable. There's

1:20

a fine line. There's

1:23

a fine line. There's

1:25

like... But it is

1:27

a question of mine. And then

1:29

I thought about a bunch of other

1:32

things that I have similar questions about.

1:34

So I actually often tease my brother

1:36

because he's a finger liquor. And the

1:38

way he does it is like very

1:41

routine. It's like one thing, it's like

1:43

just, I think it's like three fingers.

1:45

It's like, he's like middle his first

1:47

and then his thumb. And he like

1:50

does it all the time and I'm

1:52

like, you know, I make fun of him,

1:54

telling me he's gross. But it's not

1:56

like I'm against finger licking. Like

1:58

if you're at Buffalo Wild Wing... what

2:00

are you going to do? You know? I

2:02

come from Buffalo, okay? So I

2:04

don't even know why I said Buffalo

2:06

Wild Wings. I'm just trying

2:09

to relate to the, you know, to

2:11

the broader audience here. But

2:13

you're at Duff's and you're

2:15

eating your wings. They're very

2:17

saucy. You're not eating with

2:20

a fork. It's not like pizza or

2:22

something that you could wimp out and

2:24

eat it with a fork. You're eating

2:26

it. with your hands. And what are

2:29

you going to do? You wipe it

2:31

on the napkin, and that does like

2:33

enough. But every once in a while, you've

2:36

got to just suck on it, you

2:38

know? But this is the kind of

2:40

thing that I really don't know. I

2:42

don't know my own position on finger

2:44

licking. I don't know. I don't know everybody

2:47

else's, and I know there

2:49

have been plenty of times in

2:51

circumstances where I'm like... Is it

2:53

okay to lick my fingers right

2:55

now or is it gross? And

2:57

then I'll see somebody else at

2:59

the table licked their fingers

3:02

and I'll go, all right. It's green

3:04

light. We can lick. We can

3:06

finger lick. It also has

3:08

been normalized by whoever says

3:11

finger-licking good. Who is

3:13

that? What brand is finger-licking

3:15

good? Because they're helping

3:18

to normalize finger-licking.

3:20

And I appreciate that. Yeah, it is

3:22

sticking your fingers in your mouth, which

3:25

is not, like, if you're really

3:27

concerned about germ's finger licking is

3:29

very bad. And even if you're

3:31

kind of concerned, it's probably pretty

3:34

bad. So, you know, you could easily,

3:36

well, that's the thing. It's easy to

3:38

make an argument why you shouldn't

3:40

lick your fingers. What I'm interested

3:43

in is the argument why you should

3:45

and when it's okay. I really want to know,

3:47

is it okay to lick your fingers

3:49

and when? When do you lick your

3:51

fingers? It's different for everybody, but I

3:53

want to know like what is the

3:56

socially acceptable level of finger licking? Where

3:58

are we? What are we eating? can

4:00

we lick our fingers?

4:02

Yeah, you know? And then there's

4:05

the hand wipe. The

4:07

pants wipe. You know, that's

4:10

actually the real combo

4:12

is the finger lick

4:14

and then the pants wipe.

4:17

Now you're ready to

4:19

shake a hand. All

4:21

right, let's move on

4:23

to something more gross.

4:26

This is episode is not

4:28

for Aaron Francis. I'm so

4:30

sorry Blowing your nose. It's

4:33

not that gross but blowing

4:35

your nose. This is something

4:37

that I question to this day

4:40

When I When it's when I'm in

4:42

private when I need to blow

4:44

my nose It's graphic, you know

4:46

like if it's gotten to the

4:49

point where I need a tissue

4:51

to blow my nose It's not

4:53

going to be pretty, you

4:55

know? But this is, okay,

4:58

I'm loving this. This is,

5:00

this is, this is like

5:02

the other gross episode I

5:05

did about the booger in

5:07

the shower. But it's, this

5:09

is way more socially acceptable

5:12

though. Okay, let's focus here

5:14

folks, okay, come on. Blow

5:16

in your nose. I remember there's

5:19

a so clearance.

5:21

He's, he's, uh, he's hill

5:23

folk. I used to, he

5:25

was the groundskeeper at the

5:27

summer camp that I went

5:29

to. This old guy, grizzly guy,

5:32

grizzled, you know? Just, yeah,

5:34

he looked like 20 years

5:36

older than he was. And he

5:38

was old. And he was just

5:41

country through and through and I

5:43

still have so many isms from this guy

5:45

and the things he would say. just like

5:47

a different species. One time we worked, I

5:50

think I told you guys this, but one

5:52

time we were like, we used to work

5:54

there every year like in the winter when

5:56

nobody went to the camp, but just to

5:58

like keep up and do it. maintenance and

6:01

split wood and do stuff like that.

6:03

And we would stay in a cabin

6:05

in the snow, it was really fun,

6:07

just like five of us. And we

6:09

did that, and this was weird because

6:11

we were like living with them, like

6:13

we would eat meals at their house

6:16

on premises and his wife would make

6:18

us, it was just country living, like

6:20

she would make us these country meals

6:23

where like every dinner, you're just stuffed

6:25

to the gills and it, whatever.

6:27

Like chili. and whatever stuff

6:29

like that you get it

6:31

stews but clearance he he

6:33

always brought around a handkerchief

6:36

my grandpa used to

6:38

do this my grandpa he's been

6:40

dead for a long time but

6:43

when he was when I

6:45

remember him I remember like he

6:47

owns some land and we would

6:49

go up there pretty often and

6:52

I remember him in his

6:54

overalls mowing the grass on

6:56

this like little slice of land,

6:58

which I should tell you about

7:00

at some point. It's like one

7:02

of my fondest most cherished memories

7:04

and why I want land for my

7:07

family. He is mowing the lawn,

7:09

sunny, sweating, and he would pull out

7:11

a handkerchief, you know, like for sweat,

7:13

but he'd also pull it out on

7:15

his nose, you know? But let me

7:17

tell you about an old guy blowing

7:20

his nose into a handkerchief. It hits

7:22

different. There's not gross

7:24

snot everywhere. When you're working in

7:26

the winter with clearance, he pulls

7:28

it out because you got the

7:30

sniffles, it's cold. You just do.

7:33

It's just part of it. You

7:35

just kind of always got a

7:37

little sniffle going, you know? And

7:39

when he's got a little sniffle

7:41

going, he pulls it out, and he'll

7:43

do a blow, but it's a real

7:45

wispy blow. Like there's no real

7:48

substance to it, you know? So,

7:50

but anyway, all of that to say.

7:52

that I remember being like, that's crazy,

7:54

like this other generation that brought around

7:56

a handkerchief to blow their nose in.

7:58

What were they thinking? How is that,

8:01

was that socially acceptable to like

8:03

blow your nose? Put your buggers in

8:05

this cloth and stick it back in

8:07

your pocket? Like what? That's crazy. Or

8:10

was it just something you brought around

8:12

when you're in your chest pocket for

8:14

a damsel in distress, you know, for

8:17

her to wipe her eyes maybe and

8:19

blow her nose? What is the handkerchief

8:21

for for the damsel in distress? It's

8:24

probably also to blow your nose because

8:26

if a woman, not a... It

8:28

doesn't apply to a man, if

8:31

a woman is sobbing. You got

8:33

buggies, you know? It's part of

8:35

it. You got some buggies.

8:37

So, handkerchiefs I think

8:39

are gross. I remember being

8:42

like, this is gross,

8:44

this other generation doesn't

8:46

think it's gross. But again,

8:48

let's put, let's come back to

8:51

the, you know, the 25th

8:53

century that we're in right

8:55

now, 25 centuries. We, your

8:57

boy has COVID or something,

9:00

and it's just snot

9:02

now, you know, real,

9:04

loogie-worthy snot, and I'm

9:06

pulling out a tissue, and

9:09

when I'm going to town

9:11

on this thing, I'm loading it

9:13

up, like a baby diaper,

9:15

and it's graphic, and

9:17

it feels like something

9:19

that's not supposed to

9:22

be done in front of

9:24

other people. So when I'm out

9:26

and about and you have to

9:28

I'll question like what?

9:30

What is is this okay? Are

9:33

people gonna think that I'm

9:35

nasty? Because this is nasty

9:37

That's the fact, but it

9:40

also is like a very

9:42

human thing, but like we're

9:44

not allowed to just you

9:46

know to in public. We're not

9:48

allowed to do toots. So maybe

9:51

this is like a toot you're

9:53

not allowed to fill And then

9:55

it's like this is the next thing

9:57

about blowing your nose you blow your

10:00

knows, you get the majority of, you

10:02

know, you kind of empty out.

10:04

What are you left with? You

10:06

got that little kind of

10:08

lubricated ring around your

10:11

orifices and what do you do

10:13

with that? I mean, you can

10:15

kind of like do a dainty,

10:17

little like wipe back and forth

10:19

with the with the tissue, but

10:21

you really want to, you know,

10:23

wrap your finger in the tissue

10:25

and just dive in and do

10:27

a little kind of... Whoopty

10:30

do, to really dry it off,

10:32

you know, or maybe you

10:34

even need to dig a

10:36

little. You're covering your

10:39

finger, you know. This is

10:41

gonna be worse than the

10:43

peeing in the shower episode.

10:45

But yeah, these are things I

10:47

don't know. But you tell me,

10:50

he who has not blown his

10:52

nose into a tissue in

10:55

a grossish way cast the

10:57

first stone. And similarly,

10:59

he who has not

11:01

licked their fingers after a

11:03

hot wing, throw the first

11:05

stone, be my guest. Let's

11:08

talk about some less gross

11:10

things. I know the Booker

11:12

topic, it's not popular.

11:14

Let's talk about bare feet.

11:16

This is a random. Recently,

11:19

we were headed somewhere nice.

11:21

I had like, kind of

11:24

barefoot loafery things on. It

11:26

was in the summer. And... And

11:28

we just saw this house listing

11:30

go up and we were like,

11:32

you know, we're not looking for

11:35

a house, but we gotta check

11:37

this place out. It's like two

11:39

blocks away. It's super nice. It's

11:41

got everything we would want in

11:43

a house. So we kind of

11:46

emergency, like, have to go see

11:48

this. The realtor meets us there,

11:50

but we don't have time to

11:53

go home. And I realize, we're

11:55

a little early. I'm all dressed

11:57

up, I got the loafers

11:59

on. I realize I can't wear these

12:01

things in this person's house. You know,

12:03

it's not like an open house. Like,

12:05

you're gonna have to take your shoes off

12:08

to view this person's house with your

12:10

realtor and the owner's gonna be there

12:12

and we actually know the owner. I'm

12:14

gonna have to take my shoes off. Already

12:16

I'm like, this is, this feels a little

12:18

wrong of me to have bare feet to

12:21

go like, because some people are weird about

12:23

bare feet, you know? It's a stranger's house,

12:25

I don't wanna be walking up. and just

12:27

like walking on their hardwood floors

12:30

and tile and carpet and bare

12:32

feet. But here's where the story

12:35

is worse and I forgot about

12:37

this and I wouldn't have started

12:39

the story if I remembered this.

12:42

My toenails were too long. It's for

12:44

my own comfort. All right, so long

12:46

story short, I go, Han, do

12:48

you have any toenail clippers? She has

12:51

on her or something or purse or

12:53

something or just nail clippers.

12:55

So now I'm sitting there. and our

12:57

realtors early and like walks up and

12:59

I think she saw me and like

13:02

kind of backed away a little bit

13:04

and like pretended that she wasn't

13:06

walking up and then waited and

13:08

it was so I was like

13:10

this is mortifying this is but

13:12

also hilarious. Okay gross episode

13:15

officially but yeah bare feet when is

13:17

it okay to walk in someone's

13:19

house with bare feet this is the

13:22

risk of sandals and things like

13:24

that I think a lot of

13:26

people don't care. But I definitely

13:28

know some people do. I remember

13:30

actually when I was younger, I

13:32

remember being in a friend's house

13:34

and the dad was telling us the

13:36

story. He was going, oh, and we

13:38

had a brand new couch and so

13:41

and so, one of our other friends

13:43

or whatever, one adjacent friend, so and

13:45

so came over and just put their

13:47

bare feet right up on it. Just like

13:50

laid down on the couch and put

13:52

their bare feet right on it. And

13:54

I remember going... Oh, that's gross?

13:56

You're not supposed to do that?

13:58

Because like in my house... growing up,

14:00

you could have bare feet if you wanted and

14:02

you could also lay on the couch with them

14:05

if you wanted. That wasn't, I didn't think that

14:07

was an issue. I was like, oh, like, there's

14:09

different levels to this game here,

14:11

you know? I mean, some people, I mean, my

14:14

parents, my mom's family, my mom and my

14:16

dad had pretty different upbringings,

14:18

my dad's was pretty comfortable,

14:20

my mom's was pretty not,

14:22

like German family. very proper

14:24

no comfortable seating in their

14:26

house just literally like wooden

14:29

chairs in their living room

14:31

it was pretty crazy actually

14:33

and like some super uncomfortable sofa

14:35

nonetheless my they all were like

14:38

indoor shoes you know it would

14:40

it would be like real like

14:42

not acceptable in my parents

14:44

house in my mom's parents

14:46

house wearing just socks which

14:48

is just wild and I

14:50

think some people are still

14:52

like this Definitely. Yeah, which

14:54

is crazy. I don't know. I've always

14:56

been a socks in the house kind

14:59

of guy. I'm a socks in the

15:01

house guy, just so you know. Let's

15:03

keep going on the gross because we

15:05

don't do this. This is our by

15:08

yearly, biannual show about gross.

15:10

But these are the common thread is

15:12

these are things I don't I

15:14

don't know. You just kind of

15:16

build up data points as you

15:19

grow up and to just. form

15:21

your own little like what is

15:23

acceptable. This is one having a

15:25

little bit so I'll level with you

15:28

I get a little flaky in

15:30

the scalpel region in the

15:33

wintertime when it's bone dry

15:35

in Buffalo in our really old

15:37

house with yeah so I'll get a

15:39

little bit of flake action going

15:41

that's for sure and when I

15:44

go to get my hair cut

15:46

I'm always like oh man like.

15:48

If they're cut in my hair and

15:50

they see some flake action, like is that

15:52

gross to them? Or are they like, they're

15:55

a hairdresser. So I always wash my hair

15:57

like really well before getting a hair, like

15:59

literally right. before. So I'm rolling up

16:01

with squeaky clean, damp hair so that they

16:03

feel like, all right, I'm dealing with,

16:06

like I'm not working with somebody's grossness,

16:08

you know. It's just kind of a

16:10

ritual of mine. I don't know if other people

16:12

do that. I know other people don't do

16:14

that because of the other people rolling

16:17

in. They don't. I think this is

16:19

a weird thing of mine actually. Now

16:21

that I'm mentioning it, because I don't

16:23

see anybody else do this. Other people just

16:25

roll up and sit down. The job gets

16:27

done, but I'm always like worried

16:30

that they're gonna see some flakage.

16:32

So I hardcore scrub like beforehand

16:34

and then go right quick so

16:36

that there's no flakage action.

16:38

But actually, this is another

16:40

funny story. These are all like semi

16:43

embarrassing stories. Good friend

16:45

of mine, new girlfriend at the

16:47

time, now married. We had them over

16:49

to eat and they're at the table

16:51

and we're just making conversations. She's

16:53

a hairdresser. And I asked her.

16:55

I said, hey. I got a random

16:57

odd question for you. Has a

17:00

hairdresser? If somebody rolls up in

17:02

your chair and they have some

17:04

dandruff or something, is it gross

17:06

to you? Or is it just

17:08

like, you know, run-of-the-mill? Like, it's

17:10

just part of life. Like, some

17:12

people are gonna have dandruff

17:14

on my hairdresser. It's fine. And she

17:16

was like, her answer was kind of

17:18

like, yeah, it's gross. Without saying it

17:20

exactly like that. And it was uncomfortable

17:22

because I think I had said like,

17:25

yeah, because like I have done, I

17:27

don't know. That seems like way too

17:29

uncomfortable for a dinner conversation. But I

17:31

wouldn't put it past me. But whatever,

17:33

I do remember in that moment being like,

17:35

oh, okay. So there isn't some like understanding.

17:38

It's similar to, it's like going to the

17:40

dentist and you have something in your teeth,

17:42

you know, which has happened to me

17:44

before before. But so I mean, I try

17:46

to really scrub down before the dentist.

17:49

like right before, you know, floss up,

17:51

scrub down, and really make sure

17:53

there's nothing in there, but you

17:55

don't know, you don't know. You try

17:57

to get what you can, but it's...

18:00

day of, what did you have

18:02

for, maybe you had cheese

18:04

seeds in your, you know,

18:06

soaked oats or whatever, you

18:08

call those, what do you

18:10

call soaked oats? Like, soaked

18:12

oats, overnight oats. Yeah, you know,

18:14

maybe you had a, you had a

18:16

piece of quinoa lodged up

18:18

in there. You don't know, but

18:21

you know when they pull that

18:23

hunker out, you know, and that's

18:25

like, oh. But then you're like,

18:27

come on. I, okay. I know

18:30

I'm giving you all this grossness,

18:32

but again, remember, you're

18:34

the same amount of gross,

18:36

if not worse. And I know

18:38

you're thinking, no, that's not true.

18:41

And you're right, it's not true.

18:43

But I would say I am

18:45

average level gross for a person,

18:47

as far as... general hygiene

18:49

goes. You know, I'm not

18:51

trying to win any awards,

18:53

but I'm definitely not trying

18:55

to ever really smell bad

18:57

or look bad or feel

18:59

bad. So I got that

19:01

level of just hygiene

19:03

going. But these are things.

19:06

These are things. This is

19:08

the conversations that we need to

19:10

be having with each other in,

19:12

out in the open, you know. Let's,

19:15

let's shatter the prejudice

19:17

against. wrapping up

19:19

your finger in a Kleenex

19:22

and just going deep on

19:24

it. You know what I'm saying?

19:26

So that's what I got for

19:29

you. I'll be seeing you.