0:15

Oh! Stop saying that! That's

0:17

not stupid! Don't say the C word! You

0:19

can't say the C word right as he said it! You

0:21

can't do the first, like, 20 seconds or

0:24

something. I didn't say that. I don't know. Good

0:27

practices or something. Practice

0:29

this, motherfucker. Wait,

0:31

what's the C word? Just outside the window.

0:33

I was counting. You were out the window! These are called

0:36

YouTube best practices. I had

0:38

to, like, don't fire off with curse words. Yeah,

0:40

yeah, yeah. What was the C word he said? He said,

0:42

come. Come for sure! Advertisers

0:44

are adverse to come. Why do advertisers are

0:47

adverse? In the closed caption, we just type

0:49

it as C-O-M-E. Adverse, not C-U-M. Joe,

0:51

come is not kid-friendly. God damn

0:54

you all. Ha ha ha! Hi,

0:56

welcome to Off Topic. I'm

0:58

Michael. We've got Alfredo.

1:02

Hello. We've got Fooyah

1:04

in town! Hello. And then Trevor

1:06

and Joe. Yep. I thought you

1:08

were going to forget. You know, like, you're like, I'll

1:10

come back. I thought he was going to skip. It's like, it's

1:13

not up here. I'll come back around. It'll...

1:16

I mean, it's Thursday. I thought you were the one

1:18

taking Centrum Silvers with

1:21

that memory. I am the oldest here. That's

1:23

true. You're the closest to needing it. I'm

1:26

taking it in advance because

1:28

I

1:28

want the body of a man. Who's

1:31

silver. Who is silver. Yeah, I was

1:33

saying I forgot my men's wanted. Who is over 50 or

1:35

maybe it's 60. I don't look at the bottle close

1:37

enough. I just take it. That's

1:39

true. I like them because they're chewy little gummies. Oh,

1:42

I take the hard ones. But I still eat them like a Flintstones.

1:46

No, these are fun. I still eat them like a Flintstones. Yeah.

1:49

Dentures aren't

1:49

breaking? Nope, not yet. No, these

1:52

are fun. I get a treat every morning. Sometimes because,

1:54

like, they all congeal together in the bottle.

1:56

What I like to do is I pick the bottle up

1:58

and like... Like a corrections

2:01

officer, I bang in the bars like, hey! And

2:03

I hit the wall with them, and then that jostles

2:05

them all loose because they're all stuck together.

2:08

But even then, a lot of times they'll be like, two

2:10

stuck together. If three get stuck together, I just

2:12

take three.

2:13

You're just having a lot of fun. I'm only supposed to have two, even though it's called one

2:15

a day. Well I take two. You're over

2:17

on vitamin stick. Oh, I'll let you know. It's

2:20

like, oh I'm so healthy. I'm

2:22

like, if two of them gives me 266% of

2:25

what I need for the day,

2:26

why not take five, 10? Michael's

2:29

already three feet underground. Yeah. But

2:32

they are good. They

2:34

are yummy. I chew them. Some,

2:37

yeah, some vitamins are very yummy.

2:40

And there's also that kind of adjacent,

2:42

cough drops. Some cough drops,

2:46

very, very yummy. Are

2:48

we talking recreational cough drops? Yes

2:50

we are. Some of them? Yes we are.

2:53

Sometimes like, over the years, like my kid looks

2:55

through a cough drop face. Holes.

2:59

It's, yeah. There's

3:01

like cough drops that have the,

3:04

like menthol, I think it's menthol,

3:07

and flavoring. And then there's other ones where

3:09

it's like, this isn't for you to enjoy.

3:12

And you're like, oh my god. Like it's in

3:14

your mouth, you're going like,

3:15

oh, why does it still look medicine

3:18

like this? Yeah, those don't work the best though. Yeah,

3:20

but it's just like, oh. But like,

3:22

I went through a phase where I'd find just like half

3:24

eaten cough drops stuck into my carpet. I

3:27

was like, oh my kid's got the cough drops again. Tasty,

3:30

tasty treats. Dad's got the worst candy.

3:32

Tasty treats. No, no, no, no, that was when

3:34

they liked it. They're like, I'm done

3:36

now. Here's the thing, as a kid. They do that with candy

3:38

they like too. I couldn't finish them. I

3:40

still can barely finish them. Like once you get down to

3:43

the bit, I'm like, oh. Just suck on the floor. You

3:45

just throw it on the floor. I'm like, oh. I'm

3:47

like, oh. You just like suck it halfway. And then just

3:49

chew the rest. I spit it in the carpet. Yeah,

3:51

yeah, yeah. That's where I like people. Are you his kid?

3:53

Well, I might be. If you don't get it fast, you

3:55

got to cut it out.

3:57

Oh, god. That's it.

3:59

where it's just like, and

4:02

then speed time laughs throughout the whole night. Trevor

4:04

just in there going, fucking, fucking,

4:06

fucking. Yeah. Sucking and throwing him into the car. You

4:08

see me pacing pause for like 30 odd

4:10

minutes as the clock is, it's like paranormal

4:13

activity where the clock is just moving, but I'm not moving.

4:15

And then he's like, eh, eh, eh, and then

4:17

it's just like, it's calm. I'm like, I'm like a cat, I'm like,

4:19

eh, eh. And

4:22

then, and then yes, to clean up at the end of the night, I

4:24

cut a bunch of carpet out and then he wakes

4:26

up to a bunch of bald spots. I like, I like

4:29

sometimes

4:29

being outside means you can

4:32

react kid style instead of adult

4:34

style. And that, I mean, if you were just walking

4:36

in your house, eating something and it fell out of your

4:39

mouth, you would have to stop to pick it up. But if

4:41

you're outside, you're just like, whatever. Nature, yup.

4:43

Oh, that fell out of my mouth, oops. Like

4:45

to have that freedom is something I watch and

4:48

I still admire, like, even if I wanted

4:50

to go, I don't give a shit and like drop

4:52

something on the floor. Like I can't, it's not, I have

4:54

to pick it up.

4:55

Kids are just like, I'm freeing myself from

4:57

this possession. They still have a piece

5:00

of nature within them. I mean, they're blank slates

5:02

and they're in tune with it all and they go, it's

5:05

just natural. I just watch them just let

5:07

things go out of their hands. Yeah,

5:09

yeah. It's like, I'm drinking a drink, I'm walking

5:12

with it. And it's not like, and it's not even

5:14

the act of like, I'm littering, it's just like,

5:16

well, I don't need it anymore so I let go of it. It's that,

5:18

it's that, oh yeah, from Toy Story. That

5:20

rules. I don't want you anymore.

5:23

It's

5:24

the dramatic fall. That's

5:27

what it is. Oh

5:29

yeah? Okay. These are all new cameras. Exciting

5:32

date today. Yeah, what's up? G-Maw

5:34

arrives in three

5:37

hours. That's cool. Just in time for

5:39

the photo shoot. Yeah, just in time. She'll be

5:41

here in three hours and she'll be staying with

5:43

us for like three, four weeks. Oh. And

5:46

she was like, It's a

5:47

nice day. She was like, bah, bah. Can

5:50

one day, can I come to your work and

5:52

see what the work is? And

5:54

I went, okay grandma.

5:56

It's exactly what you saw

5:59

at the live show. But

6:01

no one's clapping. Right, yeah. That's...

6:04

Can I come over? And

6:08

then she's been for months just talking about...

6:11

When I come down, we got to go grocery

6:13

shopping. I'm gonna cook for all your

6:16

friends. And then she'll

6:18

be like, I want to see...

6:21

She says, she goes, I want to see

6:24

your subscriber again. He's a very nice guy. He's

6:27

very nice. I'm like,

6:29

he's very nice. That's

6:31

true. When she gets to know him. Yeah, that's

6:33

true.

6:35

Over the course of three weeks. But when I break up my Centrum

6:37

Silver... Whoa!

6:39

Whoa! I'm

6:42

like, you thought you were my unofficial grandma. No,

6:44

we're peers. Yeah, we are peers. She's

6:48

gonna stuff everyone. This is how I look so young.

6:51

She's gonna stuff everyone with Filipino

6:53

food. That is her master

6:56

plan, which is down here. It's down here. Yeah.

6:58

It's kind of like

7:00

an instinct, right, though? Yeah. Like,

7:03

I have to go there and I will feed someone.

7:05

Yeah, oh yeah. Oh, feed. She's

7:07

like, I have to... I'm gonna go there, I have

7:09

to feed everyone, and I

7:11

have to clean. I have to

7:13

clean. No, don't. Yeah. Well,

7:16

I'm like, don't, don't. If it's not

7:18

enough work, I can have my kids come over to your house and drop shit

7:20

all over the floor. Yeah,

7:23

it's symbiotic relationships. A give

7:25

and take. Yeah, there's two

7:27

things where she's like,

7:29

one, she's

7:31

very hyper-focused on

7:34

seeing Trevor because she's like, Trevor, because

7:37

we all went to dinner that one time. And two,

7:40

Iris,

7:41

because when Lindsay brought Iris over, she

7:44

did the, it's like a Filipino thing, it's called

7:46

blessing. So you go up to your elders

7:49

and you take their hand and you just tap it

7:51

on their forehead.

7:53

So Lindsay taught that to

7:55

Iris,

7:57

and Iris went up to my grandma for the first time.

8:00

for the first time, she was very shy, and

8:02

then like grabbed her hand,

8:05

and then she's like, oh, she wants to shake my hand, and then she

8:07

like did the whole blessing thing.

8:09

Balloon my grandma's mind. Won't

8:11

stop talking about it. Google, man. She's

8:14

like, Baba, you remember when I visited

8:16

the blessing, it was so cute in the

8:18

man. Like, oh, yeah,

8:20

yeah, yeah, yeah. What

8:22

if Iris did it violently? Just,

8:25

oh. Boom. I

8:27

was gonna say, I thought Joe was getting jealous.

8:30

What if I do it? What

8:31

if I do it? How would you remember me?

8:33

Don't get extra

8:34

lumpy. Yeah, don't get extra. Just

8:36

sit down, just sit down. Just

8:38

sit, sit down, just sit down. Just

8:40

sit down, just sit down. Just one lumpy, man. Don't

8:43

get extra lumpy with more blessings. Joe,

8:46

it reminded me, Barbara got this app that kind of

8:48

like

8:49

randomly goes through your camera roll one month at a

8:51

time, so it'll pick like a random month, random year, and it helps

8:53

you clean everything out in case you have, like

8:56

she does 14,000 photos and

8:58

videos and things, and one

9:00

of the things that came up was you,

9:02

she was sitting in the old STF office, and

9:04

you came up past the window, and she

9:06

was just about to do her be real, and

9:08

then you started like banging your head on the window,

9:11

and from her perspective, honestly, it didn't make much

9:13

sense from our perspective. From her

9:16

perspective, it looked insane. You

9:18

just walked up, like it was a scene

9:21

out of The Walking Dead, and you were trying to get

9:23

to some live flesh, and you started banging,

9:26

and Michael and I are just sitting there, leaning against the wall

9:28

going, yeah, I remember Michael said, do

9:30

it harder, and so I, I was like,

9:32

man, now it's going back to me. I backed up, and

9:35

then I went, boom,

9:36

and then right after, I was like, ah, fuck.

9:38

I was like, yeah, that's what you get, you fucking idiot. You gave

9:40

yourself a blessing on

9:42

that. You should do it harder, idiot. That

9:45

was wild.

9:47

When you're bringing up that story, you looked so

9:49

scared, Joe looked so scared, and he's like, what photo are

9:51

you

9:52

talking about? He looked like, he looked like,

9:54

he looked like, he looked like, he looked like, what's that? There's a lot

9:56

of things, man. There's a lot of things. There's

9:59

proof in it. He's

10:01

like, I don't even remember. I was like, probably close

10:03

to when I first got hired. I think it was

10:05

like, I

10:07

mean, Not if we were here. I

10:10

don't know. Oh wait, no you're right. Yeah,

10:12

because when you got hired, we were at,

10:15

We're in the other place. Other

10:17

place for like, Yeah, for like a year? The basement?

10:20

Here? I mean, he was there for

10:22

a year. Were you there for a year? But he was still there.

10:24

Yeah, it was a year. I thought it felt like it was a year.

10:26

Was that a year? It was a year? Well yeah,

10:28

like your first year. It was a year earlier this year.

10:30

Absolutely. I mean, it was a long time. I was gonna

10:32

say like, I've grown as an idiot. Oh no, that's

10:34

definitely on the close. I was like, I'm better.

10:37

You've refined it. I've refined

10:39

it. You've still probably closed it. No,

10:41

he distilled it. He's focused

10:43

it. You came

10:46

almost exactly a year before the flight.

10:49

You can't say, You can't

10:51

say not around a whole round of lines. You can't say

10:53

it with a slide. It was like a horse

10:55

race.

10:56

I think that says more about you.

10:59

I'm just thinking human. And you're out here

11:01

going, wait, you said something that could have

11:03

been sketchy.

11:03

Of course it's him. Oh,

11:06

you goofball. He's not a goofball. He's a little

11:08

fucking deviant. I know, I drank all my water before

11:10

he started. I know, that's why I have to keep drinking

11:13

this water that I can't

11:15

drink. I forgot

11:16

my water. I forgot my water. I forgot my water.

11:17

That's some water, that's dirty ass water.

11:20

That is thick water. That's thick caffeine. I was

11:22

coming over from the office and

11:25

he's got some Sanic G-4. I

11:28

was thinking I was gonna say Sanic. I just wanted a little bit of

11:30

taste, but there was no scooper in there.

11:32

So I just kinda went like this and

11:35

it was like four scoops worth. I can

11:37

attest, it smelled like the fine dust

11:39

of the G-fuel in

11:42

the air. I liked it. I'm

11:44

just saying G-fuel's been here. I could tell. That's

11:47

what the fridge water looked like. My fridge water looked

11:49

like. Yeah, I started going two weeks ago. I started going, hold

11:51

on. Did your purifier end or something? No, so. Did

11:54

it end? I just like, trial

11:57

has ended. I never really grew up drinking

11:59

fridge water.

11:59

water. It's like why does it sound

12:02

filthy. I don't know. Because

12:04

like my like my mom had this like

12:07

giant it's like a Brita Phil. It felt no

12:09

no. It's like a it has a water line in

12:11

it and it has this giant rock filter in the middle

12:14

and it's like a water dispenser. Okay. It's like

12:16

a I guess it's like a carbon filter like a natural.

12:18

It's like a Brita. It's like a giant Brita

12:20

with a giant rock. But it has a standing water. Yeah.

12:23

Okay. And so I never like drink fridge water. And

12:26

so then when we moved here we just started

12:28

buying bottles of water

12:30

and I just like never really

12:32

drink out of the fridge. And I was like we'll start drinking out of the fridge.

12:34

And so I replaced the filter in the fridge

12:36

like two weeks ago. Did you

12:38

clear the filter though. Yeah. So what happened

12:40

when I got to run it I had we had not

12:42

used the water since we moved and we've been in the house for like

12:44

a year and a half. And so so

12:47

I I went to go like oh

12:49

you know like like just run water

12:51

through it and

12:52

it was supposed to be like two gallons and it'd be like 10 gallons

12:54

because of how bad the water was in there. The

12:56

water came out just like dirt brown and

12:58

there was so much air trapped in the system. It

13:01

just went. I

13:03

had a giant like gallon of water

13:06

and went all the dirty water. I was

13:08

like oh god

13:10

it's just my water. It

13:13

took forever to clean that thing out. But

13:15

like now I'm still not drinking it because there's so

13:17

much. There's so much calcium

13:21

and like lime scale built up in the lines that

13:23

it's like all the white although like white specie

13:26

how about I like I know it's harmless. You can drink

13:28

it. I just I'm weird with it. No I

13:30

know. I mean I get that if I see anything I'm

13:32

not drinking it. Yeah. But so do you just

13:35

like every day just fill a cup of water. Don't

13:37

drink it and I have to like

13:39

not suitable

13:40

clean out the line.

13:42

I think a little vinegar and

13:44

like clean up that's a bore. And I don't want to do that

13:47

because I rent the house and I don't want to do that.

13:49

I've done that with my water coolers. I

13:51

have like two standing water coolers not

13:54

just gallons right not connected to

13:56

a water line. And same thing like after a while

13:58

you just have to do you like that whole vinegar

14:00

concoction. It's so nice. Oh, that sounds so

14:02

cool. It takes forever. You need so many empty

14:05

jugs. And it's just,

14:06

oh god. And then to get the taste out takes

14:09

forever to flush it. Oh, the vinegar taste?

14:11

Yeah. It's pickled water. I, um,

14:13

uh, you

14:15

know what I'm talking about? Like throwing stuff away. I,

14:19

uh, what was it, like a year and a half ago,

14:21

I just bought a ton of protein. Because I was like, okay, I'm going

14:23

to get back into it. Oh, you was like powdered? No,

14:26

just like, I'm talking about like core power.

14:30

Oh, creamy shakes. Like good stuff. Okay.

14:33

And. You said protein. Yeah, yeah,

14:35

yeah. I bought like two, like two orders of

14:37

like, like

14:40

protein bottles. And it was like a

14:43

year and a half ago. So I was like, all right, I'm going to start

14:45

working out.

14:45

Life happened. I didn't. And

14:47

then when I started working out earlier this year, I

14:49

checked it. It was all bad. And I was

14:51

like, oh, that sucks. But

14:54

I want to grab like 36

14:56

bottles of protein and just dump

14:58

it into a bag and haul it over.

15:00

So every day I

15:03

take one, I put it in my

15:05

trash bag. And so, and

15:07

then like I put my trash bag out like

15:09

every three days. So then I've just

15:11

been like going to the cabinet, opening

15:14

it, packed full of protein, grabbing one, throwing

15:16

it in the trash. He wants us to spend 36 days cleaning

15:19

out. The protein is at 36 seconds. And

15:21

it'll take just 10 days. I don't want to haul a big ass

15:24

bag. That's just going to risk the heart. That's the start

15:26

of your workout journey. It's going to

15:28

rip apart. Listening to you doing this, you're talking about it

15:30

takes 30 seconds. What I would have to do, because

15:32

I have to, is I would have to open every

15:34

single one and pour it out. And then

15:36

recycle it. That's, I would spend forever

15:39

doing

15:39

that. Because I would just be like, I would just

15:41

drive me nuts, throwing away with the liquid

15:44

in there. I'm like, but I can pour down the dirt. Just

15:46

a protein bomb. It's not that

15:48

it's just that I can get rid of it. It would

15:50

drive me crazy. It would drive me

15:52

crazy. Air in your fucking pipes, bullets.

15:56

I would just be like, I've done shit like that before.

15:58

Oh, it's a bunch of flat.

15:59

from a party, who the fuck buys

16:02

two liter sodas anymore? But it's like, stand

16:04

there and be like, shh, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug,

16:06

glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug,

16:08

glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Shh!

16:10

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dude, that

16:12

was fucking when we left the beach!

16:15

Oh, the beach, yeah. Oh my god, I was cleaning

16:17

it at like, two in the morning, the night

16:19

we left, whoever it's sewing these going, goodbye, shh, mmh,

16:22

I'm not bringing this shit home, I'm

16:24

just like, I'm gonna have space, it's like anything else got dumped and then recycled.

16:27

Worse is when you have to do it with milk, because you don't

16:29

want to recycle it, but if you pour it down your drain, it gets sour

16:31

in your drain, so it's like. Wait, really? Should

16:34

I run that water with it? You can run the water with it. So it just like, pushes it

16:36

down. Like sour milk, like you can put it on the drain. You're not just

16:38

like, pouring liquid in the pouring. It just pours

16:40

away. No, I pour it liquid and rinse it, I'm not

16:43

pouring it and putting the water thing at

16:45

the same time though. Oh. I

16:47

mean, as long as you do it, like, ever. Yeah.

16:50

Not like, pour it and walk away, although I don't wanna do that. I kinda

16:52

say the same person does that with anything. Yeah, I don't

16:54

do that. Get out of there! Especially because

16:56

I have like a two sink, you know, you have the disc bowls in

16:58

the other one. And so it'll just like, stink right

17:00

up the other sink. Yep, two sink. It all just

17:02

stinks together. Sink stink. So

17:05

who sinks? That's when you get one of those

17:07

little. Oh,

17:07

oh, bro. Big sink, a lot.

17:10

Damn.

17:11

I wish I was getting paid more by big refrigerator

17:13

though.

17:14

That was a nightmare. My refrigerator

17:16

broke. It was a fix though. I've heard about that. It's

17:18

not. Oh. I

17:20

woke up Friday morning to discover my

17:22

refrigerators and freezer stopped cooling.

17:25

And I don't have a second one anymore because

17:27

we had the old refrigerator from the house. That

17:30

stopped working like six months ago. Which is fine, because I got it

17:32

for free. But

17:33

I'm like, we'll get another, I'll get around to getting

17:35

an extra one, like a garage refrigerator. Didn't get

17:37

around to it. And I was like, ah! So I was

17:39

trying to like, call our repairman on Friday.

17:41

And then also moving everything in my refrigerator

17:43

to two mini fridges, one of which is outside.

17:46

And so that's how my house has been operating. So

17:48

for example, I had a bowl of cereal last night at like 1230 and

17:51

I had to go into my backyard to get my milk. So

17:56

it's getting, thankfully it's all under, like

17:58

I had somebody come out. I had to pay them just to come look at it.

17:59

But they were like, this is the problem. They're

18:02

going to call LG. It's all under parts and warranty.

18:04

So I don't have to pay for anything, which is great. Yeah, but

18:06

it's across. But they're like, this is Friday. They're like,

18:08

we'll be there Wednesday. I'm like, it's a refrigerator.

18:12

This is covered. Yeah. You were talking about how it's going

18:14

to be $8,000. I mean,

18:16

the guy was like, the repairman, he

18:18

was like, if I open this, it'll void

18:21

your warranty, and it'll probably cost you 2 thirds

18:23

of the refrigerator for me to fix this. Jesus Christ.

18:25

And I was like, well, thanks for coming out. It was nice. I was really

18:28

glad I called the guy, because it's like, I was thinking

18:30

of calling them first, but I'm like, I don't know what the fuck's

18:32

wrong with it. It's going to be like me guessing on the phone

18:34

and them trying to not pay for it. I called

18:36

up and was like, I had a guy come here and said it was

18:38

this, this, this. Here's my information. They're like, OK, we'll

18:40

come fix it. Oh, that's awesome. I was like, well, that's

18:42

convenient. Well, that's, yeah. And now

18:45

it's just like a fun game of where's the sandwich meat,

18:48

which refrigerator is it? Oops, wrong one. It's

18:50

not outside. It's in the office.

18:52

You had to get a bunch of mini fridges and just hide it everywhere.

18:54

I mean, yeah, I mean, that's what I'm operating on

18:56

now. And then it was with the freezer. Thankfully,

18:58

I just bought like a big freezer chest

19:01

that I have in my kitchen.

19:03

And so when the freezer went on the

19:05

refrigerator, I'm like shoving everything in. And this

19:07

is like 930 in the morning, 9 o'clock in the morning. There

19:10

was some stuff that wouldn't fit.

19:11

And I'm just like, hey, who's eating

19:13

chicken and rice for breakfast? Start

19:15

making these. Like, cook

19:17

this food because it's not fitting in the freezer.

19:20

So that was extremely stressful to wake up to Friday.

19:22

But then it settled, thankfully.

19:24

Oh. Then it settled. Did all your

19:26

food go bad? No,

19:28

none of it. Really? No. It

19:30

stayed cold enough overnight. I looked it up

19:33

and I went fuck off. I was just like, OK, how

19:35

like freezer, I

19:37

know you got a long time with food. As

19:39

long as this doesn't start defrosting.

19:41

I'm like, what's the time on a refrigerator of

19:44

like just

19:46

meat and cheese and whatever. And

19:49

they're like, if the door is closed

19:51

and there's no power, four hours tops.

19:53

I'm like, fuck off four hours. I

19:56

kept it all. As long as you don't

19:58

know.

19:59

I'm like, this egg is still cold. Still

20:01

cold. I'm not cold. You're messing everything

20:04

with your teeth. Four hours? This

20:06

is, it sent me. There are people going

20:08

like, that pizza's been out for an hour. You can't eat that. Well,

20:10

an hour's fine now. I'm like, people used to

20:12

put shit on food. It

20:15

was so old. They're like, nah, make it taste good. It's

20:17

fine. You're talking four hours?

20:19

I'm going to throw away all the contents

20:21

of my refrigerator? Outrageous. I threw away nothing.

20:24

Just don't open

20:24

it. It just acts like its own refrigerator. Well, its

20:26

own cooler. I know. I mean,

20:28

eventually it sure, it'll heat

20:30

up. But I'm just like, this

20:33

is crazy. The more you have

20:36

in there, the better it'll hold it. Because everything

20:38

just acts like its own ice cube. Oh.

20:41

Yeah. But that's the worst part of a power

20:43

outage, is stressing over how long it's

20:45

going to go and all your fridge is going

20:47

to go rancid and shit. Would

20:49

it be more efficient, mathematically, energy

20:52

consumption wise, to just have like

20:54

six mini-fridges stacked up, one,

20:56

three here, three here, and then you just have like

20:58

a bunch of series. Then you're like,

21:00

I don't have a veggie drawer. I got a

21:02

little fredgy box. So you open that up specifically.

21:05

Probably cost more to keep that running than the other customers.

21:07

I'm going to guess not. No, I don't know about all

21:09

this. No one does that. Well, that's

21:12

just because someone's had the real runs. That

21:14

could be. That could be it. No one's had the genius to think of

21:16

it. That would be true. It'd be like us playing seven

21:18

days. We're like, nope. No, that

21:20

one, and then this box. Someone

21:23

will do the math

21:24

out there. I'm not going back to thermodynamics,

21:26

but someone out there will figure it out. The problem too is

21:28

the BTU is running. You've got

21:30

three empty fridges, but the vegetable fridge is

21:32

overflowing. So what do I do with this

21:35

vegetable? Can I cross

21:37

the stream? You can't. You just throw it away.

21:40

So I have to throw away the food. You land within your meat.

21:42

You can't put that in the dairy

21:44

fridge. The dairy fridge is sitting empty right now. It doesn't matter.

21:47

It's dairy

21:47

only. You see the sign? You see the

21:49

sign? The temperature is set specifically to dairy.

21:53

Yeah. I always forget which things are like, doesn't.

21:55

This is a rejoice for conversation.

21:58

The humid drawers, the dry drawers.

21:59

I never know what's going on. The veggies and the

22:02

fruits. Yeah. It's like a difference.

22:04

Just close my eyes and plop it in. Mine has like

22:06

the two and

22:07

then they have the little side. It's literally, yeah, it's

22:09

literally the difference of doing this. I

22:12

just don't give a shit. Benji. I saw

22:14

one side is carrot and the other side's apple.

22:16

That's like as far as my friends. It's a bigger hole than the 10 year

22:19

old. Big hole than the 10 year old. I fill

22:21

those drawers. I rarely take from those drawers. Oh yeah.

22:23

I have probably those drawers because I can't forget

22:25

the food that's in there. Yes. Yeah, I

22:27

can't. I got it. This

22:30

is all green but it's fruits right in here. I'll

22:33

put my fruit just like in the fridge so I can see

22:36

it. Make sure it doesn't go bad.

22:37

That's true because if in the drawer, look

22:39

it's gone. It's lost the time. You put in the

22:41

drawer for it to go bad eventually. You're

22:44

here to die. That's not what I was saying. Like

22:46

Jackie ordered groceries and then packed the fridge

22:49

and like we've got food in there, eat what's

22:51

in there. And then I'll just forget and not eat.

22:53

But every time she tells me we have, like

22:55

what we have, maybe like 40's Larry,

22:58

she'll be like we got this, this and this. It's all gone that day. Yeah.

23:01

I'm just like, I forget that it's in there. Things

23:04

go bad way too fast. I know.

23:07

It's like I wasn't ready to eat that yesterday.

23:09

I know. I know. I'll

23:11

go to the grocery store and it's like, oh fresh

23:14

bread. I'm gonna make so many sandwiches. I'll buy four

23:16

rolls. I eat one and then they're starting

23:18

the turkey. I was like, no! I bought four! Yeah.

23:22

I got four! But I just want it to last

23:24

forever. Is that so much to ask for?

23:27

I just think it would last forever. I

23:29

just want it mostly preservatives. It's

23:31

just a preservative loaf with a bread flavor. And

23:34

it lasts forever. Oh god. Bread

23:37

flavor. Yeah. I'm convinced that would be

23:39

a good product to have. Military rations.

23:42

Just emojis. They're expensive. Emories.

23:45

They're expensive,

23:45

man. Yeah, but when you have no fridge, it

23:47

balances out. They still go bad though. Honestly

23:49

though, like a big

23:52

part of me wants to start buying just

23:54

like military rations

23:56

and just stuff where like if things go sideways.

23:59

Have you been on my podcast? Are you digging a bunker

24:01

right

24:01

now? That's kind of like, I want my

24:03

kitchen cabinet to be, I've

24:06

been on red web for too long, it's changed me.

24:09

But yeah, maybe I want just, you know,

24:12

my cabinet to be a little bunker, a

24:14

little door, and I go in there and

24:17

it got supplies. I'm good for weeks. You see

24:19

like, you know the people

24:19

that like, extreme coupon, they have like,

24:22

they have bunkers just like unintentionally like, it's

24:24

like five different things of the

24:27

day. I grew up with a bunker of fucking

24:29

progressive soup.

24:33

Gotta buy them when there's a sale. Shop right

24:35

can, can sale, cannot resist.

24:39

They'll get it, somebody will get it out there. They'll

24:42

go shop right, I remember the can, can,

24:44

can sale. You know those military, those jacory meals

24:46

are high in calories. Never heard you said it like that

24:48

before. Right aid versus high

24:50

calories, right, lacking in everything

24:53

else. No carbs, no protein, just high

24:55

calories. I mean,

24:57

dude, I was watching, Dude, no. I

25:01

was watching Alone, which is the survival show I talked about.

25:03

And I was watching Outlast, which is this like same

25:06

show, butting. It's a game where they try cutting dick off. Butting

25:08

groups? Damn. And like, bro,

25:11

again, they're just counting calories. Where they're

25:13

just like,

25:14

oh man, I wasted so many calories, like

25:17

trying to forge for food.

25:20

Like it just like, they're just all about

25:22

like, I burned 300 calories, oh my god, and 50

25:24

calories. Like I'm screwed, I'm screwed, I'm screwed. It's just

25:26

like, the calorie becomes a timer.

25:29

Yeah. And it's like wild. But

25:31

also, since they're now with Outlast, they're

25:33

in groups, the survival show, they're in groups, and they

25:35

can like, multiple people. They

25:38

could jump into different groups that they want to.

25:40

What? Outlast, right? You're out,

25:42

get out of our red group. Pretty much like kick someone

25:45

out, and then be like, hey, you guys gonna join your group? And

25:47

then they'll

25:47

be like, yeah. But then the person will be like, got

25:50

it. I'll come join your group in the morning.

25:53

And then they'll just fucking stab it and

25:56

then jump over to the other group. It's wild. One

25:58

guy was getting his shit jacked.

25:59

And so he set everything on fire. What

26:02

the fuck? He was like, you're not going to take my

26:04

shit. He was like, because he had a camp, and he was like, I'm going

26:06

to go join. He was like the last person, and

26:08

you have to be in a group. You have like 24 hours. Oh, you

26:11

can't be an individual? Can't be an individual. Damn, that's

26:13

my own pride. So like, if people leave, like if they

26:15

tap out, they shoot the flare. So like two of his members

26:17

left, and then another guy left as well.

26:19

And so he was by himself. So he had 24 hours to join a group.

26:22

But then people were coming to like

26:24

raid his shit because he was by himself. You're

26:26

like, not allowed to fight people, I imagine. Not to fight.

26:28

So they kind of get it too. Oh, you're taking all my shit? Hey, stop.

26:31

No. It's like, if like this is like

26:33

crazy. No. Stop. He just hold it and he's like, I'm

26:35

not moving. I'm not moving. I'm not moving. I'm not moving.

26:38

That's so dumb. God damn it. I

26:41

like the idea that it's like we're raiding your shit. Like, you're

26:43

not allowed to touch anybody. I mean, yeah. I'm

26:45

not cutting. I'm not just getting really close. But then

26:47

what happened is like a pair. So

26:51

like as they're holding one thing, like the other

26:53

person that like two people raided,

26:54

the other person would go and start cutting like

26:56

the boat and life raft and shit. It's crazy because

26:58

besides the no fighting, it's without

27:01

the one. Well, that's the thing. Besides the like no

27:03

fighting, everything else is just as like violent.

27:06

Yeah. Like you're burning it and you're cutting my supply.

27:08

Like, ah. Yeah, yeah.

27:10

I'll take your water though. You're

27:12

like, no, no. You're like, all right, I'm going to go blow

27:15

that up though. Yeah. It's wild. That's

27:17

crazy. And so he was just like. Tripwires in the forest. I

27:19

didn't catch him. So he wasn't. Yeah. He

27:21

was like, I have my established base.

27:24

I'm going to leave it to go join the other group. So

27:26

I'm going to set everything on fire so they don't get it. And

27:28

I was like, this shit is wild. Why didn't you just

27:30

bring it with me? Right. Could he not carry it? He's

27:33

like, I'm going to burn my own sleeping bag. Well, he

27:35

like built a shelter. And it was like a night shelter.

27:37

So he was like, I don't want them to get it. He can only carry

27:39

so much. Right. So he's like,

27:41

I'll get it. That's true. And then he's like, I'll burn

27:43

the rest. One dude made an impromptu

27:46

ghillie suit and then snuck over to

27:48

the other side of the water in the other

27:51

side of the camp. And like when the other group

27:53

was foraging, stole

27:54

all their sleeping bags. And

27:56

then like ran it up, spawned back. And then

27:58

like, yeah. was like going back

28:01

and again he's across the water so he

28:03

took his boat people came back they're like someone

28:05

took our fucking sleeping bags and so they started

28:07

hunting the guy down then they found his

28:10

rap and they're like come out we got your app

28:12

he's here come on five seconds we're gonna

28:14

start popping it and then like he did come out so they

28:16

turned it apart and then they started tracking

28:18

him and I was like this shit is wild he's like

28:21

in the forest like with the cameraman

28:23

like shh get down get down get a little get a little get a little rest

28:25

of standing outside the camera's going like this it's

28:27

a little dark let

28:43

me pull out this land there

28:45

we go you look good in that bush I would

28:47

love for them to be like he's not coming out and start stabbing his

28:49

wrath but then you like the camera whips over zooms

28:51

in there's a man in like a ghillie suit

28:53

swimming with six bags struggling

28:55

in the ocean yeah

28:58

it's cool though that's awesome challenges and stuff or they'll

29:00

just be like

29:01

hey tomorrow morning there's gonna be like

29:05

the crab stuff the crab cages maybe

29:07

six of those on this island but it's

29:12

like you got to get there down the river so I'll have to like

29:14

make shit

29:16

and like get through

29:18

in times but there's some people that were smart

29:20

and they're like I'm gonna wait until the

29:22

next morning where the tides low and I could just walk it

29:24

like whoa mm-hmm so it's wild

29:27

all right

29:27

the whole just sabotaging each other's

29:29

crazy people are like

29:32

half the people are just fucking brutal and

29:34

just like I'll give a shit I'm gonna burn this

29:37

down in the ground

29:38

and there were people that are just like it

29:40

was nice because there were people that

29:42

were just like

29:45

I can't be

29:47

this way and like

29:50

I humanity can't keep functioning this

29:52

way and I want to be better

29:54

and so they're just like I'm not going to sink to

29:56

that level I'm tapping out oh wow yeah

29:59

I

29:59

think normal No. So

30:01

they are alone as like, I

30:04

live, eat, and breathe in the wilderness is all

30:06

I do. This is like, wilderness

30:09

enthusiasts. But they're like construction

30:11

workers and like fitness

30:13

people. Nice little thing. But people that are like

30:15

enthusiasts, so they're like,

30:17

they study it, they watch it, and they kinda like, you

30:19

know, mess around with like, making

30:21

fires and shit. Construction worker and burning down

30:24

stuff. Yeah. I build, I break. But

30:26

they're not like, specialized in like wilderness stuff. They're

30:28

like enthusiasts.

30:29

Humanity can't continue this way. It's

30:32

just a show, Steve. It'll be done in three weeks.

30:34

Which honestly, it feeds

30:37

into the drama way more because

30:39

no one knows enough.

30:42

So then everyone just knows, oh, we should

30:44

be doing this. And the other person's like, ah,

30:46

yeah, but I kinda saw that it should be done this

30:48

way. But no one's like,

30:50

I've done this for 30 years. It should be

30:52

this way. Everyone follows that person. Are they all like,

30:54

singularly focused? Like they all have like a specific

30:57

skill set. No, it's just a bunch of enthusiasts. So

31:00

everyone just knows a little bit. Everyone

31:02

just knows a little bit, but no one

31:04

knows enough. And so like,

31:06

it creates conflict. I

31:09

would love to see like a TV series

31:11

taken, like where it starts as a reality show

31:13

just like this, but then like, and they're

31:16

all like, eliminating each other or whatever. But it turns out

31:18

in this isolation, they come back to society and

31:21

everyone's gone. Whether it's zombies

31:23

or something else. Oh, that'd be cool. And then just like

31:25

continues. Wipe out the world. Yeah,

31:27

and it just continues following. It's a little bit

31:29

like society or

31:32

Yellow Jack. But you wanna make it real. I wanna make it real.

31:34

Okay, so you're gonna start on.

31:37

I need you all to hide. Trevor, there's everyone in

31:39

the world. There's two teams to

31:41

this show. We're gonna need team one,

31:44

which is the team

31:45

that makes the show you're describing. And

31:48

then we're gonna need team two, which is wipe out

31:50

the planet for the show. Two

31:52

different objectives, but team two, if you wanna

31:55

do a zombie thing, whatever, it's just gotta

31:57

be done in six weeks. Right.

31:59

comes out it's like

32:01

we did our job

32:03

why is there still people running around? Exactly. Where's

32:05

the big twist? This is going to

32:07

be such a cool reality. We're still working on it.

32:11

But that seems like it would be a really interesting narrative

32:14

premise. I've been reading a lot so I'm also like thinking a lot

32:16

more about like creative premises that I would

32:18

like wish to expound upon. Yeah.

32:21

I feel like that would be really interesting. I think they come back everything is the same and

32:23

they've just replaced their family. Everyone's

32:26

just going we don't know what you're talking about. This

32:28

was always your family. Here's your wedding photo. And

32:31

they're like come on guys. This is like

32:33

Asian Jim from The Office. This is a show. And

32:37

they go they've always been your family like total

32:39

recall style. Yeah.

32:41

Then they unveil their house

32:43

and their neighbors redesigned it and everything. We're

32:46

creating spaces. Nothing is the same. Trading

32:48

spaces. It was awesome. It

32:50

was exactly what it is. I hate it. They

32:54

come in and it would be like

32:56

somebody spilled. I don't want to talk to my neighbors

32:58

let alone them let them redecorate my house.

33:01

Right. This is what I

33:03

like. And so they do like someone's living room

33:05

in a goth style and the next door there's like everything

33:07

is like a chintzy plywood painted

33:09

yellow with no. And you're

33:11

just like what the fuck. That's good TV. Yeah.

33:15

That was awesome for them. Terrible.

33:18

They're like I grew up in this house. I imagine.

33:21

I imagine. I imagine the

33:23

logistics had to be.

33:25

Look we know

33:26

we're not going to like it

33:28

but we're probably getting it for free. Right.

33:31

On top of a pay. You know what I mean.

33:33

It's like we got to accept that it's going to suck but we're getting

33:35

our house renovated and they probably

33:37

got paid or something. Yeah. Like

33:40

that's got to be most of the cases right. They can't actually go. Oh

33:42

yeah. Good job in my house. Right.

33:45

Where it's like it's probably painted in the color that you don't like

33:47

and it's probably got a bunch of weird stuff hung up

33:49

there. Right. They're like how quick can we fix it

33:51

again. Yeah. It's just like wow

33:54

but they replaced the carpet. Exactly. They

33:56

got rid of all the mold. They probably

33:58

get something out of it. Yeah.

33:59

I'll have someone paint my

34:02

walls real shitty and hang up stuff I don't

34:04

want and if they were like to redo

34:06

the tiling, you know what I mean? And then I just repaint

34:08

it and then hang something else up, right? But

34:11

then also now their wife is your wife now

34:13

That's two shows. That was the trading that's Just

34:17

like that show though. It's a pimp my ride I saw

34:19

I was like watching on tick-tock and it came across I was like

34:22

I used to watch it all the time my favorite show

34:24

but it's like that where it's like Oh, you had a broken door.

34:26

They pimped your ride You have like three

34:28

gaming stations in the back sound

34:31

system. Yeah, your car's hot pink. You're

34:32

like Shit that

34:35

wasn't street legal Drive

34:39

that around like like, you

34:41

know, I need this to get to work to my rules

34:43

like moderate conservative job Like

34:49

they're cool as fuck but it's like So

34:55

Illegal to spit flames. I think it is.

34:57

I think you just can't have it. He is

35:00

Continuous. Okay. Oh, I

35:02

see. I feel like you Ribby

35:05

spit a flame and someone's had to tell you this specifically

35:07

haven't they Joe

35:08

my old car You said backfire and spittings

35:11

but like on purpose or by accident on purpose.

35:13

Yeah the carburetor Yeah,

35:16

I straight piped the fuck out of it. Yeah, I slammed

35:18

it and slammed it and it would just Around

35:25

at 6 a.m. To Favorite

35:28

the tunnels when you're in the tunnel you're

35:30

going under a bridge and you just downshift

35:32

it goes

35:36

When

35:39

you're gonna less you're right We're

35:47

hosting it we get other people

35:49

to ruin

35:51

No, I don't you don't do anything you smoke no

35:53

no no No, I was gonna say like there's

35:55

been waiting for his a lot of Subarus who have the

35:57

vet the vape vents what top of

36:00

their car.

36:01

They cut out the fucking hole in the roof and they put a little

36:03

bit of that. You want a bait

36:06

man? You should get a bait man. We

36:08

get you a bait man. Start bait. Yeah. Yeah.

36:11

Yeah. Turn this into a pot. You got cats. We

36:13

can make a little cat den, like right in the. Oh,

36:16

yeah. A little box in the back. Yeah. Yeah.

36:18

Yeah. We'll pre-seed it with the sense. Cool. We can

36:20

put the exhaust through the cat tree. Yeah.

36:22

Yeah. Yeah. Cat tree. Yeah. Wait.

36:25

Wait.

36:25

You can play a mug because we put a little vent right below.

36:27

Yeah. He didn't see the driver's seat.

36:29

In fact, we get rid of the door. We

36:32

only put vents. Yeah, that's true. You have to vent to

36:34

get in the car. And then like I want to do a thing.

36:36

I want to do a cable back vents. Don't worry. We'll surprise

36:38

you. We do a thing. We do a thing where

36:41

we give Fuyu like a foot window so people

36:43

can see your feet while she's driving. Just

36:45

your feet. I'm at a red light. There's like a clear box.

36:49

It's like you just see the car as normal and just your

36:51

feet on the front. Like whoa. And they're a little glass

36:53

box. Yeah. You can put a little

36:55

smiley face sticker on it or

36:57

you know. A little heart emoji or something. Just

36:59

to block the tootsies. There's

37:02

like a little QR code people can scan.

37:05

You brought this on yourself. Was it every

37:07

Saturday

37:08

you'd send a pic

37:10

to Lexi? I don't know how the tradition started. We

37:13

always make fun of it. It's a tradition. It

37:15

happens. But like every rule we

37:17

talk about feet all the time. And then suddenly. How

37:20

else you get around? Yeah, you

37:22

walk. But I started sending

37:24

the photos to Lexi. I sent like

37:26

a foot photo. And then it happened every Saturday. And

37:28

eventually I was like I can get creative with this.

37:30

So I started like holding up my water bottle with

37:32

my foot. Like it was like a head. But my

37:35

favorite one and I think everyone's favorite one is I

37:37

had just I just had Chick-fil-A. So

37:39

I like. Oh God.

37:41

I put my feet in the Chick-fil-A box

37:43

and like the fries. I made like a whole Chick-fil-A

37:45

meal. Oh my God. That

37:48

was good. Like the fries were just

37:50

toast coming out. I was like

37:53

just here you go. Guys.

37:56

Guys, she stepped it up. Feet

37:58

are coming out of the fry. I went, what?

38:01

That's my favorite part. I went, what? I'll

38:03

be quiet and then I'll send the picture and I just wait.

38:05

I'm like, it's going to happen. Like, she's going to get the photo. She's

38:08

going to say something. It's like a whole thing for me. That's always

38:10

the most exciting part. It's usually I like

38:12

to do that when I send Alfredo pictures when

38:15

I'm next to him and I wait for his watch

38:17

to go off. I'm just going to stare and

38:19

I go, hmm. Better get

38:21

that. He doesn't know way too many times,

38:24

bro. He doesn't have to open his phone.

38:28

Yeah, because it shows the phone.

38:29

I go, damn it. It's

38:32

like instant satisfaction.

38:34

It is. It

38:36

really is. It's sick. You'll like loop in

38:38

people like Barbara's mom because Barbara will go, wait,

38:41

what? And then you'll just go, I don't worry,

38:43

Barbara. I'll send it to you. I've heard all

38:45

I needed to hear. And

38:47

you wait for the message to say, red. And you go,

38:50

excellent. My work here is

38:52

done. You just picture what it's landed

38:54

in their lap. I'm going to send you a few pics.

38:57

You can. I will leave you

39:00

on red. He's going to stop

39:02

opening. He's like, I'm going to start sending you pics.

39:05

That's him reverse

39:06

psychology, eating me. He's

39:08

looking for Tootsies. You know what? I'll

39:11

keep doing it until you give in and then you'll

39:13

finally give me one back. It will be instant. The

39:16

thing is, you're going to hit him with it no matter

39:18

what. He believes you on red. Then

39:21

you hit him with another one. No, he's going

39:23

to do a DM. And

39:25

then from there, you just find different intricate ways.

39:27

Maybe there's a meeting.

39:32

We all call into the meeting

39:34

and it's just you and your foot. You can't

39:36

avoid it. I

39:38

joined the Google call and it was just a foot. I sent a photo

39:40

into the chat. I

39:45

sent a photo into the Google Meet chat. And

39:47

it says, for Trevor only. Everyone

39:49

can see it, but I don't want Trevor to see it. Thank

39:52

God I sent this image classified. Only he can

39:54

see it. I can see Trevor popping

39:56

into a meeting that has a list of a ton of people.

39:59

And it's just...

39:59

Joe there, no camera, and he's like, where's

40:02

everyone else, Joe? It's Joe on five laptops.

40:04

It's just us, Trevor. What do you

40:06

mean, Joe? Don't worry, you

40:08

know. And he's like,

40:09

no, no, no. No. I

40:12

invite 10 of the people, but everyone

40:13

declines in meaning, except for Trevor. Or

40:16

those all fake names. Every, you

40:19

invite 10 people, and each one's a toe. Oh,

40:21

no. Yeah. You get 10 cameras every

40:23

day. Or you bullet time it, so they're all facing

40:25

in at the foot. So I get a 360. There's 10

40:28

different cameras looking at your same foot. It's 10 different

40:31

angles. I'm like, what the hell? I've

40:33

named my toes. Just the trick. Which

40:36

one's Wes Ellis?

40:39

Wes could be like

40:43

the ring finger toe. Yeah. The

40:46

one that gets the least amount of attention

40:49

probably. Right? Like

40:51

if you're a toe sucker, I gotta think you're either going for

40:53

the pinky or like the big toe. Definitely

40:56

the big one. You know what I mean? You

40:58

gotta put all the toes in your mouth when you do it. Jeez.

41:01

Like a fucking Cordy Hittin'. Like

41:04

a harmonica. A harmonica. Yeah, that's

41:07

what I meant. Cordy Hittin'. I

41:09

was like, I see. We got a blow in the

41:11

back, dude, right? Yes. Well,

41:14

Cordy is the... Or is that a cordian? No. It

41:16

has the... Bagpipe. Yeah.

41:18

Oh, really? Anyway. Interesting.

41:23

Where do you go from there? I don't know. I'm

41:26

just picturing a flat white ass foot going... God

41:29

damn it. And your mouth, like what is your mouth? You

41:32

can't look good. That's

41:33

why you don't want to paint such a couple of white and

41:35

tired. You can't go down in your apartment. Like

41:37

you got your foot out and you're going like, okay,

41:39

I'll just... That feels all right. But

41:42

with your mouth going, I feel like

41:45

honestly, I feel like... I think Trevor can get a foot.

41:47

I feel like there's a white mouth. Good, I can get it in there, but I'm not gonna

41:49

look good doing it. Like I feel like if someone

41:51

is sucking on a couple toes, then

41:55

it's like, oh, this is a sexual

41:57

thing. If it's the whole foot, you're like, all right,

41:59

this person's like...

41:59

freak freak. You know what I mean?

42:02

Like, not the kind of person that wants to

42:04

like... It's also you got to... Like pin your toenails

42:06

and... You got to think too,

42:08

just with like the shape of the foot, like, if

42:11

you're putting the whole foot in your mouth, by the time

42:13

you're getting that pinky toe in, that big toe is like hitting

42:15

you in the back of the mouth. Yeah, right. They're

42:18

not even soft or they're not coming at you. We should do a video

42:20

where we get the person with the world's widest

42:23

mouth and the person with the world's widest

42:25

feet and see... They probably know each other. Right.

42:29

They've already

42:29

done this. They've already matched on Brian or whatever. Many, many

42:32

times. They're people like, you're the all fucks like

42:34

you have put them together time and time again.

42:37

Hey, this is constantly doing... You guys should talk.

42:40

Yeah, you should. Yeah, I know them really well. That's

42:42

like, is the rose on like thick neck and long neck? What?

42:45

Oh yeah. Yeah, there's like, there's

42:47

two people, like the internet. The mugshot. It

42:49

was like a thick neck guy and like a long neck kid. I

42:51

know the long neck guy. And then it's like thick neck, met

42:54

long neck. Yeah. Like, met each

42:56

other. I probably only know this because of

42:58

Joe. I don't think I ever knew what it was or what

43:00

it was. What the fuck? He's

43:03

like, this is a snake. You know what I'm talking about? That's

43:05

what I'm talking about. I'm Googling. There's

43:07

two independent... I think his name's Daddy Long Neck. There's

43:10

two independent humans that

43:12

then people like Joe force together

43:14

to meet. Thick neck and long neck.

43:17

What? His neck

43:20

is almost as wide as his torso and it's... Dude,

43:22

it's because of a snake pulling along. All he does

43:24

at the gym is all he does is work out his traps

43:27

and his neck muscles. It's all in...

43:28

Just trunks. Jesus Christ.

43:31

It's all he does. Yeah. I mean,

43:33

it's like his whole upper torso is neck, this guy.

43:35

Not the wide, but like the narrow. Feel

43:37

free to throw up a picture of thick neck and

43:39

long neck. I just Googled it. No, no, stop saying.

43:42

It'll be very easy to find. Yeah,

43:44

just Google that and you'll find it. What

43:46

the fuck?

43:47

Yeah. This is the kind of thing where someone goes...

43:49

All neck, he's going to get in the bottom. Hey, you know what I'm going to say? I

43:51

never know.

43:54

I only know because people like Joe say

43:56

things like this around me. Wide neck guy

43:58

finally met daddy long neck. Yeah, Daddy

44:00

Long-Man. And it looked like it would all kick

44:03

off. No, they don't look like they're going to fight or

44:05

something. They look like they're just hanging. It would all

44:07

kick off. They were neck.

44:09

They were separating neck. Dude,

44:14

it was like the world champion, multi-world

44:19

champion

44:21

arm wrestler. Remember I showed you a picture?

44:23

It's one of the, if not the top arm

44:26

wrestler in the world.

44:27

And you ever see

44:29

Lady in the Water,

44:31

where the one dude, the Shameline, the one dude's

44:33

like, for science, he's just working out the one

44:35

side? It's literally that. This side

44:38

is like, like the Hulk. And

44:40

then the other side is normal. Why would you waste calories

44:42

all over this? What are you doing?

44:44

That's true. Calorie, you know, you're just like, this

44:48

is my calorie consumption arm. And this thing is just

44:51

kind of like, let it atrophy. Let it. That

44:53

one's skin tag. That one's

44:55

rubber banded until it circles off. Yeah,

44:58

it looks ridiculous. It's like a Hulk arm.

45:00

You got like one Hulk arm. Ridiculous.

45:02

It's just one massive. And not even

45:05

just like, like, oh, it's

45:07

like super buff. It's like the forearm

45:10

is just like dancing. It's a python.

45:13

And it looks like his

45:15

forearm got stung up with a bunch

45:18

of bees, because it's just like puffy.

45:20

Yeah. It's just like, oh. Or

45:24

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Dr.

45:26

Jekyll. It's a thick ass one. Just one

45:29

arm. What's this guy's name?

45:32

Shit, I don't. Probably thick one

45:34

arm. Thick forearm man. Arm

45:38

man.

45:39

Look up arm man. Arm wrestle, thick arm guy. That's

45:41

gotta show it. That's got some people.

45:44

Oh, is this him? Is this him?

45:47

That looks like Photoshop with how uneven

45:50

it is. Pretty sure that's him. Well, people also like

45:52

to use perspective on this guy, as

45:54

you can see.

45:56

Oh my god. His name is Man

45:58

with Popeye Arm has turned. into champion

46:00

arm. But Popeye had Popeye both arms.

46:03

But it's just one. It's that Popeye arm. Yeah,

46:05

yeah. It's like, there's a ton of mottos

46:08

that look ridiculous. But actually on

46:10

his Instagram, there's a ton of video. And

46:13

it looks like that.

46:14

It literally looks like that. What much he makes, is

46:16

it worth like? That's the conversation we have. Is

46:19

that worth the career to get out? Also,

46:23

like, you've got to want that. What do

46:25

you cover up if you want to cover up another?

46:28

Right. If you

46:30

don't want, exactly. If you don't

46:32

want, like, boom, instant contrast.

46:34

Which arm do you rock? As like, you

46:37

know, like. Just assume

46:39

they're both like. That giveaway though. Because that one hand is

46:41

ginormous. Again, it's so. Maybe

46:44

even people think it's a cast. Even more than

46:46

like, you know, people who just weightlifting

46:47

are big. You don't see that. That

46:49

like giant forearm in hand. Because

46:51

it's so specific. It's so genuinely. It's

46:53

so specific. You only see that in like the

46:56

strong man, right? Where like all the people are just like

46:58

massive. And they're just. And even if you do, it's

47:01

with everything else. So it doesn't stand out as much.

47:03

Again, this just looks like he's got his arm in another

47:05

foam arm. Yeah. It

47:07

looks like he's got the SpongeBob

47:10

arm. One of them is the plate and the other one is fucking.

47:12

That arm would break me. Yeah.

47:15

It was big. What if he

47:17

committed though, in his early days, to

47:19

the left arm, not knowing that it was regulation

47:22

that you go in on right arm.

47:24

So he's like, he's looking for competition.

47:26

He's the only left army out there. And his left

47:28

arm is huge. But he's got no one to fight. He

47:30

has another career in the slap fight. Oh. Slap

47:33

boxing. Yeah. He's a switch foot slap

47:35

boxer. Oh, it's got him out of there. Yeah.

47:37

We just literally just hold and you just slap and show each other.

47:40

We see the one. Oh, it's terrifying. It was wild.

47:42

And again, this just,

47:43

I swear, it needs to be like ESP and eight the Ocho.

47:46

I think they do it like once a year or something like that. But it needs to be like a

47:48

constant channel. Because there is phone

47:50

booth boxing.

47:52

What? Real thing. Phone booth. They put two people in the

47:54

phone booth. They're like, this is. What

47:57

are they doing? Just because he just. Just rocking. Just rock and roll.

47:59

I got to get good.

47:59

I mean, you just hit them. Bro, it's just like the small,

48:02

little jabs. It's a fucking

48:04

sport. Don't throw heads,

48:06

you're right. Like,

48:07

headbutts. That's the other thing I immediately think

48:10

of. I'm immediately thinking of like, how do

48:12

you not actually look like this? Well, I think of

48:14

like the slapping, right? Because it's like,

48:17

that's so, there's

48:19

so many ways you could slap someone in the face, right?

48:21

As far as like having your hand, the connection, and where

48:23

you hit it, and whatever. I feel like slap boxing

48:26

is like, well, you're supposed to slap, but we don't

48:28

know. Boxing at least is like, well, I'm trying

48:30

to punch you. Yeah. And that's about as bad as

48:32

it gets. You know what I mean? I can't accidentally

48:34

hit you with a lead pipe. But like

48:36

slap boxing is like, oh, sorry, did I close

48:38

my fist and punch you in the side of the head? My accident?

48:41

Well, sorry. I get disqualified then. I know,

48:43

but that doesn't help me after I've been struck. That's

48:46

all I'm saying. You're laying unconscious on the ground. Don't

48:48

worry,

48:49

it's disqualified.

48:49

I want to enter good quality. You want

48:52

it. Leaning from the eyes. Well, there was a guy who

48:54

won, it was like a championship

48:57

belt or whatever for the slap boxing, because

48:59

he

49:00

kept like, he didn't want to give up

49:02

and like tap and like say like he had enough. And

49:04

his face was so fucking swollen

49:06

and fucked up and like all just like bruised and bloody.

49:08

They have a ref? Yeah. Yeah. Well,

49:11

all day. The ref is like. The other guy. I

49:13

don't care. The guy forced it in because he was like, I can't

49:16

do it to him. Because the other guy was obviously winning.

49:18

That's crazy. But he was like, I can't. The guy who was

49:21

winning just stopped. He didn't want to slap him with that.

49:23

He was like, I can't, like I can't morally

49:25

do it. Can

49:25

he? I'll kill him. Yeah. He'll

49:27

die. That's exactly what it is. He was

49:29

like, yeah, I did it. And

49:31

then like a week later, they like showed his

49:33

face. And it was like, it was like the difference

49:35

in the arm. It was fine hair.

49:37

Are you allowed to change sides

49:39

of the face? No. He was like, I'll

49:41

slap the other side a little bit.

49:43

Slap boxing, that's when they took turns slapping

49:45

each other, right? Yeah. Yeah, they hold on in the middle.

49:47

They hold on. They go, boo. You see, they're

49:49

like when they get hit, because they're holding on to the middle,

49:52

there's like a little peg on each side. They get hit and they go.

49:54

Yeah. God. I love

49:56

it when they go. That hand

49:59

is like keeping them from. passing the fuck out.

50:01

Like it's wild. But yeah. If they step

50:04

back out of the line, there's all sorts of rules

50:06

and how things fowled. It's clubbing. I

50:08

don't wanna get my brain rattled. Yeah, you can't swallow my

50:10

brain. You gotta like, you gotta. Right here,

50:12

and a lot of them get a big bushy beard to help soften

50:15

it. Man, they get clocked. It

50:18

is. I'm good.

50:19

Dude, I guess that ref was just like, let them fight.

50:23

I think because technically he didn't get like knocked out.

50:25

He was still good to fight. Yeah.

50:29

Isn't that like up to the raft? You

50:31

look like you're gonna fucking die. There's a medic that comes

50:33

in and like checks if you're like super conscious

50:36

or like, if you've been knocked,

50:38

what is it, concussion or something like

50:39

that. He's like, bro, it's just a slap, he's fine. Yeah,

50:41

but who beat a baby? But it's still like super early

50:44

days. I wouldn't be surprised if it was like a dangerous

50:46

thing where they got in trouble for it. I did not get like microfractures.

50:49

I was just thinking like to me, being a moron,

50:52

that seems so much more dangerous than boxing.

50:54

Right. Like I'm probably wrong, but it's just like,

50:57

oh man, there's just so much like,

50:59

I'm gonna stay in here. And again, like boxing

51:01

at least you're trying, you will, but you're trying not

51:03

to get hit in the face. This is like slap me in my

51:05

fucking face. Right. I was gonna say,

51:07

you know what I mean? How like swollen and bruised

51:10

and like how hard they're hitting it feels like that

51:12

you could do damage to like nerves and shit. You

51:14

might as well be punching me in the head. Your brain is

51:16

a mush after that. It's just soft and around. Your

51:18

brain is already mushy. Well, what like, dude,

51:21

cause I can't imagine, cause in

51:24

actual life a couple of years ago, we did werewolves

51:26

and it was like the punishment was either a paintball

51:29

shot or like a chop to the

51:31

chest from Xavier Woods. One chop,

51:34

I was like, oh, but then

51:36

like, so everyone got chopped. You

51:38

got chopped. Everyone was like, ah man, I'm not

51:40

gonna bitch out. I'm not gonna be the first one to take a paintball,

51:44

which is stupid, but everyone got chopped

51:46

like back to back. I was the only

51:48

one that got chopped and then it like,

51:51

I didn't get chopped again

51:53

until like 20 minutes later. So

51:56

then Xavier was like, look, it's

51:58

been a minute. It's very. tender this is gonna hurt

52:01

a lot more and

52:02

then so you chop it again it my soul left

52:04

my body I can't imagine like that

52:06

to the fest good we that

52:09

that was probably the same year I also

52:11

doubled back when I decided to get my tattoo

52:13

and

52:14

then get a

52:15

line added like three hours later

52:22

just I just got

52:23

the little jiggy piece and they're like do you want like

52:25

an island like man just do just no outline

52:28

and then they finished it and he's like we should probably do an outline

52:30

like yeah we should do an outline but then I think

52:32

we did this one first and

52:35

like like next and then we came back to this

52:38

and man it was uh it

52:40

was excruciating also the area like it

52:42

was it was me just like gripping

52:45

the chair and like ripping the material

52:47

out of the chair because he's

52:49

like all right when I you got this cut let me cut

52:51

over your car I was like just

52:54

right god it was so small this is recreational

52:57

torture thankfully

52:57

yeah that's

53:01

free oh right

53:04

so it was for the kindness it

53:06

was for free that's why yeah you signed

53:09

for it yeah I kept saying I don't give

53:11

a shit what this is about who's benefiting

53:13

right I want a free fucking tattoo

53:15

give me two actually sir do you work here did

53:17

you just walk in don't you question

53:20

put the needle in

53:23

that's that was me

53:25

when I got my second Covid shot

53:27

I was just going just

53:29

put the needle in because this and I think I've talked about

53:31

this when it happened

53:33

but the nurse that was doing it

53:35

was expounding upon her very

53:37

loud anti-vax beliefs I'm like man you're

53:40

a nurse right realize this is a large part

53:42

of what you do and also you're at the bar people

53:44

are getting their shot I'm like I'm not thinking about it you're

53:46

not gonna mean like I'm here to turn it I've signed

53:49

up that's my second one right right

53:51

about this why are you asking me I don't

53:53

know about it I'm like a track guy do

53:55

jack all right

53:57

yeah right my arm melted and now

53:59

we're all those for RFK. One arm

54:01

Popeye. Jackie will tell me about

54:03

how other nurses will

54:06

have their beliefs and then kind of project

54:09

that onto other nurses or patients.

54:12

But then also, this is why I can't be a nurse,

54:14

she'll be like, yeah, sometimes I'll just

54:17

hardcore racist people, I gotta

54:20

help them. It's

54:23

like, I'm supposed to

54:25

give medical treatment

54:29

to like all humans, I signed

54:30

a critical oath but

54:34

this person is clearly racist

54:36

as hell and it's just like, fucking,

54:38

how do you deal with that? They'll

54:40

like swap out nurses and stuff and they'll

54:42

try and calm down and talk to them but it's just like,

54:45

oh man, this man's racist, like outwardly racist.

54:48

That's why we gotta fuck it.

54:49

On-site racist nurse. We

54:51

need the racist nurse. Yeah. Whoa.

54:55

I'm only racist against

54:57

racists. So

54:59

the nurses themselves is racist

55:02

who comes in and goes, I know

55:03

man. And then they start doing the oral.

55:06

Oh my God. Don't

55:07

listen to room 105. That's

55:10

weird there. That was my good reviews Trevor. Hospital

55:12

one's good reviews. Reviews for us.

55:15

Oh my God. When I had appendicitis

55:18

and I was laying, what could have been

55:20

my death bed, I was definitely perusing

55:22

the reviews. Oh

55:23

my God. Where

55:25

should I go? What

55:28

about you? It's about the money. It's all about

55:30

some hospital money. That's hospitals,

55:32

they don't make a lot of money. That's why they're so cheap. You're

55:34

up and dead to me? No, I laid there in pain and then I

55:36

just went. I actually looked at her and I was like, Joe,

55:40

Joe's in a fucked up. Joe

55:43

actually, there's a pandemic

55:45

burst and he got over it. He

55:47

actually? He waited it out. I decided

55:49

which hospital is gonna drive myself to. Before

55:52

I went to go do it. And I was looking

55:55

at reviews. Wait, really? Yeah. See?

55:58

Listen. I understand.

56:01

You're staring into the face of the

56:03

future. Off Topic is sponsored by BetterHelp.

56:06

Life has a way of presenting us with challenging decisions,

56:08

leaving us uncertain about which path to take,

56:11

whether it's navigating careers, relationships, or

56:13

any other aspect. Therapy serves as

56:15

a guiding beacon that connects us with our innermost

56:17

aspirations. Trusting yourself to

56:19

make decisions that truly align with your values

56:22

is a skill, and it takes practice, and

56:24

that's often where therapy can really help us move

56:26

forward. Therapy's not just for those who have

56:28

experienced major trauma. It can help you learn positive

56:31

coping skills, set healthy boundaries,

56:33

and empower you to be the best version of yourself.

56:36

If you're thinking about therapy, BetterHelp is a great

56:38

option. It's a convenient and flexible online

56:40

therapy platform that you can fit to your

56:42

schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire,

56:45

and you'll be matched with a licensed therapist. Plus,

56:47

if you ever feel the need to switch therapists, you

56:49

can do so at no additional charge.

56:51

Let therapy be your map with BetterHelp.

56:54

Visit betterhelp.com slash offtopictoday

56:56

to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com

57:01

slash offtopic.

57:03

This episode of the Off Topic Podcast is sponsored

57:06

by One Piece, which is coming to Netflix on August

57:08

31st. Japan's highest-selling manga

57:10

series in history, One Piece has finally

57:13

gotten a

57:13

live-action adaptation on Netflix.

57:16

One Piece follows a young adventurer named

57:18

Luffy who sets out on a perilous

57:20

journey to find a legendary treasure to become

57:23

King of the Pirates. But in order to find

57:25

the ultimate prize, he'll need to assemble the crew

57:27

he's always wanted before finding a ship

57:30

to

57:30

sail, searching every inch of the

57:32

vast blue seas, outpacing the Marines,

57:34

and outwitting dangerous rivals at every turn.

57:36

One Piece takes place in a vast world made

57:39

up of four major oceans. The series focuses

57:41

on the East Blue and all of the colorful cities

57:43

and characters that populate it. If you're unfamiliar

57:46

with the manga, buckle up, it's

57:48

a wild ride. The

57:49

series was made by fans for fans.

57:51

Showrunners Matt Owens and Steven Maeda are

57:53

huge fans of the manga and came at their work from

57:56

a fan-first perspective while still allowing

57:58

new audiences to discover and find. fall in love

58:00

with the story. And the manga creator,

58:02

Ichiro Oda, was involved in every step of the

58:04

process of bringing his story to

58:06

life. Don't miss the action-packed, yet

58:09

heartwarming series, One Piece, on Netflix,

58:11

August 31st.

58:13

Look, we all have our go-to outfits

58:16

for confidence and comfort, right? Well,

58:18

MeUndies is here to amp that

58:21

up. They've got undies for every

58:23

mood, bold colors for fun days,

58:25

move me collection for active times, and

58:28

classic hues for relaxation.

58:30

With MeUndies, comfort is not just an option,

58:33

it's a guarantee. They craft undies and

58:35

bralettes from super soft, breathable

58:37

fabric that's like a second skin,

58:40

but like a good kind. Most times you hear people wearing

58:42

second skin, that's not a good kind. You wear, just

58:44

keep

58:44

your own skin on. This is a second skin that

58:47

you want and people are gonna, they're gonna

58:49

appreciate, okay? And more than

58:51

that, they've

58:52

got loungewear, onesies, socks, and more

58:54

cozy stuff that could be any number of layers

58:56

of skins you're wearing. They offer a diverse

58:58

selection of undie prints, ranging

59:01

from donuts to superheroes and a wide

59:03

array of colors that suit individual

59:05

styles. Their goal is to help people feel their best

59:07

by embracing their uniqueness. And in

59:09

addition to their impressive range of prints and colors,

59:12

MeUndies has a variety of apparel options.

59:14

They've got shorts, joggers, and hoodies that add

59:16

a touch of fun to even the most relaxed

59:19

days. And of course, they're incredibly soft.

59:21

That's, that's why we're here.

59:23

I'm gonna keep telling you how soft they are, but

59:25

just know, even if I don't mention it for like

59:27

a second, it's still soft. That's

59:30

the MeUndies game. I've been wearing them a long time.

59:32

They're

59:32

built to last and built for

59:34

comfort, very stretchy.

59:36

There's nothing quite like them.

59:38

To enjoy a 25% discount on your first

59:40

order and free standard shipping, head

59:42

over to MeUndies.com slash Off Topic. And

59:44

here's our promise to you.

59:47

If you're not completely satisfied, it's on MeUndies.

59:50

That's, I love making promises on behalf of other

59:52

people. It's fantastic. So

59:54

why wait? Get 25% off your first order at

59:56

MeUndies.com slash Off Topic.

59:58

I can guarantee. I don't see it for them.

1:00:03

I don't know how far. I don't know how far away

1:00:05

you know what. No matter. I

1:00:08

got fucked. God damn. What happened?

1:00:11

Oh, the whole. Actually he

1:00:13

did. It's a haunting him to this day.

1:00:15

Yeah, it is actually. This actually haunted me right now.

1:00:17

Oh my God. That's terrible. It

1:00:20

was supposed to be 100% covered by insurance. And

1:00:23

then

1:00:24

the surgeon. When was this? How

1:00:26

long ago was this? This was in 2000. This

1:00:29

was 17, 2016. That's when

1:00:31

I got my appendix removed. I

1:00:35

went and before I even went I was like

1:00:37

hey, I'm pretty sure it's this. I just

1:00:39

want to know is my insurance taken there. And

1:00:41

it's like yes and it's covered. Don't

1:00:43

worry about it. Went there. Not covered.

1:00:46

So was it out of network or what? It was out of network. But

1:00:50

then the actual surgeon was like don't

1:00:52

worry. I'm in your network.

1:00:54

And then still charged me as an out of network. Wink.

1:00:57

But I was like okay, if you're not in network I'm

1:01:00

going to leave. Because I can't afford

1:01:02

to pay for this. And then they're

1:01:04

like no, we're in network. Don't worry. It'll

1:01:06

zero out. And they're like ching.

1:01:09

And then three months later get a bill. Time

1:01:12

to zero out. My insurance

1:01:14

won't work with them because they're refusing to work with

1:01:17

them. And then it's just been sitting

1:01:19

there. I'll tell you

1:01:21

though, even if insurance does kick in. And

1:01:23

we were talking numbers earlier.

1:01:25

You're still going to owe what abouts they're coming

1:01:27

after you for. Because I had a fetishitis and

1:01:30

it was like on paper.

1:01:33

What they billed

1:01:35

was upwards of like 40 fucking K. And I

1:01:37

was like Jesus. I feel like, whatever,

1:01:39

maybe they do or don't. But

1:01:42

it feels inflated so that when it hits

1:01:44

insurance it could come down. And then I still get fucking

1:01:46

rinsed. I paid I think

1:01:48

my maximum out of pocket for the year. In that one moment.

1:01:51

You're deductible. And I was like great. December

1:01:54

whatever it was like December 16. December 16.

1:01:57

Hold it in. Immediately I went and got my body.

1:01:59

I got two weeks. I had a bunch of Centrum

1:02:02

silvers. It was a great end of

1:02:04

that month. I'm not happy. I'm about to

1:02:06

hit mine in August, and I feel like that's a waste. Yeah.

1:02:10

I'm like, you should plan a bunch of checkups and stuff. Get

1:02:12

your brain looked at and whatnot. Get

1:02:14

a body

1:02:14

scan. My brain is for no one to see. Okay,

1:02:17

well... The doctor comes in and goes, I want

1:02:19

to keep him guessing. We want to feel how it

1:02:21

rattles, and they slap you. And they go, okay, it jostled

1:02:23

in the air. There's

1:02:25

two pegs in the middle. There you go. Mr.

1:02:29

Jones, go ahead and hold this. You're on real

1:02:31

tight. What do you mean?

1:02:34

What do you mean? No chairs. Two

1:02:36

pegs. Now you're going to see my right hand raise up.

1:02:39

Don't be alarmed. Don't be alarmed. It's going

1:02:41

to strike you. It's going to be very striking. Don't

1:02:43

flinch.

1:02:44

Fuck. To take a fucking cat scan

1:02:46

and fucking half of his brain is just smushed in a little

1:02:49

bit. There's a woman with

1:02:51

a stethoscope listening on one end, and then the doctor's slapping you on the

1:02:53

other side. Oh my god. She'd probably

1:02:55

blast your ears out. She goes, ah! She's

1:02:58

like, ah! Sounded good. It rattled

1:03:00

just right. Yeah, his brain screamed. It screamed.

1:03:03

It screamed. It's functional. I

1:03:05

remember, and this has gotten me twisted

1:03:08

because I have hay fever. How low?

1:03:10

I have hay fever, so if I eat, well, it

1:03:12

might be separate. If I eat, especially if it's hot

1:03:15

or spicy food, my nose will run a lot. And

1:03:17

I always think of this story where a guy, it's like on

1:03:19

Ripley's Believe It or Not, so you know it's terrible. This

1:03:21

guy had a runny nose for a decade

1:03:23

or more, and he's 65 years old. And

1:03:26

he finally goes to get this checked out. Literally,

1:03:28

nonstop pouring out. Listen,

1:03:31

welcome to America. It's nonstop

1:03:33

pouring out, and so he's just used to just

1:03:35

dabbing it or blowing his nose for years. He

1:03:38

goes into the doctor, and there was, I guess,

1:03:40

a membrane between his sinuses and his brain

1:03:43

cavity

1:03:43

where

1:03:45

it had worn away or a hole had cracked

1:03:47

or something, and brain fluid

1:03:50

had been leaking out his nose for

1:03:53

a decade plus. And

1:03:55

now I'm like, you need that? Turns out,

1:03:58

it's good. It was getting tabular.

1:03:59

I thought it'd be like a cool and like it has to

1:04:02

keep going right circle. He's like this is the waste

1:04:04

though. This is the hot stuff. Okay,

1:04:07

so it's probably helped breathing the brains going.

1:04:09

This is a new exhaust. We haven't ever had this. It's

1:04:11

like getting the fucking the

1:04:14

vape on the roof. That

1:04:18

was wild. So I've always wanted you believe it or not.

1:04:20

No, I believed it. Okay, Ripley style.

1:04:22

I believed it every time.

1:04:24

Were there things on there that I shouldn't have believed? Was

1:04:26

it like we're gonna lie to you half the time? I

1:04:28

don't know. I just remember the guy because

1:04:30

you reminded me

1:04:34

of

1:04:36

it the other day showing Jake from Steak

1:04:39

Farm how you can suck a hot dog down. There's

1:04:41

the guy that goes like slaps his chest and

1:04:43

goes. Yeah. And they like

1:04:45

eats balls.

1:04:48

Yeah, or he eats sand about

1:04:50

that guy. Yeah, it's like a whole noise thing. Dry

1:04:54

sand. Yeah,

1:04:56

it's a whole I believed it.

1:04:58

Or not. Yeah, that definitely is happening. Yeah,

1:05:01

I don't know how much the whacking and the yelling helps probably

1:05:03

it could be helpful or just that's their thing.

1:05:05

Yeah. Well, it's like the fastest hot dog shooter

1:05:08

in the West. He also makes noises when he does it. But is

1:05:10

it for a reason? Yes,

1:05:12

check this out. That's

1:05:14

the sound of like industrial

1:05:17

suck. Right. Packing

1:05:20

sausages into your intestines as it just lines.

1:05:23

Oh God. It comes out like that. Comes

1:05:25

out like a. That's what I always wondered like what

1:05:27

happens if you just let

1:05:28

a sausage a whole sausage

1:05:30

in your stomach. It'll just

1:05:33

really sure really though. You should try

1:05:35

it. We should try it. We'll

1:05:37

really endoscopically film your stomach.

1:05:40

It doesn't. Why are we eating it? Yeah,

1:05:42

but I can't wait and because when

1:05:44

I'm a ghost, I'm gonna kick it around and wait for the

1:05:46

next species to take over. You

1:05:48

know, dinosaurs and there's humans and then

1:05:51

you know, we'll wipe ourselves out and then

1:05:53

I'll never wipe. I have a bidet. That's excellent.

1:05:56

When AI or birds or fish

1:05:59

whatever rule the planet.

1:05:59

and they start exhuming human remains

1:06:02

and going, oh, what is this? What did they sound like?

1:06:04

And they start doing Jurassic Park, and it's human park, and then

1:06:06

we're walking around going, argh, argh.

1:06:09

I'm very curious what sounds they'll think we

1:06:11

made, and they dig up that guy, and they're like, his

1:06:14

neck is lined with sausages, fossilized,

1:06:18

and they think, we think this man goes, oh,

1:06:20

oh. And

1:06:23

that is how the human communicates. Oh,

1:06:26

God.

1:06:26

What's

1:06:29

wrong, Joe? Oh, nothing. Oh,

1:06:32

all right, we'll move on. Nothing,

1:06:35

he was like, nothing. He went, well,

1:06:38

well, it all started. He

1:06:41

went, it all started nine years

1:06:43

ago.

1:06:44

Oh, God. I was thinking about how depressed

1:06:47

I am, I don't have water. Oh, that's what you're gonna do. Well,

1:06:49

catch something. I always had it start. I

1:06:51

started drinking. There's five people here, just

1:06:54

go get more water. I just

1:06:56

stopped having it. I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack, because

1:06:58

I drank it. Right. That's exactly one

1:07:00

drop. Can you see it? So many, like,

1:07:03

milligrams of candy. So many. That's

1:07:05

a lot. So many. Look at this guy. I

1:07:07

got it. He's tapping water. I got the last drop.

1:07:09

He's literally looking for drops. He's like, hey,

1:07:12

quiz that hataract, writing sand dune worms,

1:07:14

trying to get drops of water out of the zone, the

1:07:16

cup.

1:07:18

Stop it. Get them out.

1:07:23

Got another one. Jesus. Everyone,

1:07:27

I'm just letting this end. I'm just gathering around

1:07:29

Joe's cup. Oh yeah, is this what you came here

1:07:31

for? Yeah. Joe, what's in the

1:07:34

cup? Cup play. Cup play. Now

1:07:36

you gotta do the cup song. Oh, let's see. What

1:07:38

the fuck is that? Shit. It's

1:07:41

perfect, baby.

1:07:43

Oh, never seen it.

1:07:45

Oh fuck, how was it going? I didn't get to feel like that. You

1:07:48

gotta sing, though. Boom, ta. I

1:07:52

remember how it goes. It's okay, keep going. I

1:07:55

forgot it. You get this out. So. the.

1:08:01

Jesus

1:08:04

I got one. There was a

1:08:07

lot of. It was good to me. Should

1:08:10

I learn. Why don't you learn it while you go get water. Then you come

1:08:12

back. You dry all the water in our go.

1:08:14

I'll be back. This is my truck. I'll bear

1:08:16

back. Yeah. There you go. All right. That's how you always

1:08:19

cross right towards like right. Yeah.

1:08:22

Charge at. You know I'm going to leave

1:08:25

now. They call it charging

1:08:26

the fourth wall. You got to find the camera. You

1:08:29

changed it. I was on top of it. I

1:08:31

got it. You saw it. You knew where you walked

1:08:33

off. Then you

1:08:35

go straight through. Dude

1:08:38

I'll tell you what. I don't know how much you guys have been playing Baldur's

1:08:40

Gate. Zero times. Well you need

1:08:42

to get in there at least one times. I haven't

1:08:44

even played Tears of the Kingdom. That's for a single second.

1:08:47

A lot on your backlog. That Diablo.

1:08:49

I know. You did on the stream

1:08:52

but otherwise you have it. Yeah. But yeah we

1:08:54

so Barbara and I have been playing and it's a lot of fun. We'll

1:08:57

put in like two hours a day

1:08:57

and whatever. Yesterday three

1:09:00

players up to right for. Yeah. Four.

1:09:02

So we sat down. Barbara and I blame his

1:09:04

partner Kristen and

1:09:06

we did. We went all in on a

1:09:08

full like eight hour session D&D

1:09:10

style. Like that's cool. Late all day. Got

1:09:13

food in. I warmed up some burgers

1:09:15

that we that Barbara and I had made the other night. They ordered

1:09:17

in pizza snacks galore. Barbara

1:09:20

has a couch in her office that is

1:09:22

also like a pull out bed so we can turn it into a guest

1:09:24

room. She just whipped that thing out and then played

1:09:27

from the bed. It was awesome. It

1:09:29

was such a good time. Dude that's and

1:09:32

I like come to realize like those are the moments to like

1:09:34

cherish because like those are like such

1:09:36

fun gaming little

1:09:38

like time capsules like.

1:09:40

Yeah. Like when Diablo came out just having

1:09:43

Jackie and myself and then just whatever

1:09:46

two friends jump in and then just play as

1:09:48

a party and you know for into the late hours

1:09:50

like this is awesome. Or you

1:09:53

cherish that personal time or instead

1:09:55

you stream it.

1:09:57

Just just kind of ruin the experience

1:09:59

for yourself. and just like force

1:10:02

yourself to play it, but maybe make a couple

1:10:04

bucks. That's the other thing. Yeah,

1:10:06

yeah, yeah. Hey, cherish this up your

1:10:08

fucking ass. Where's my

1:10:10

money?

1:10:12

Right, like that's how big that's

1:10:14

out. That's how big games have

1:10:16

changed. It's to the point now where I'm like,

1:10:18

when you get to play a game, like you said, you're like,

1:10:20

is this allowed? Like I'm playing this for

1:10:22

fun. I'll play it like I'm a Steve Lincoln Ben, like

1:10:25

oh, no one's watching.

1:10:27

You're just like, then people are going, you

1:10:30

better not be playing that by yourself in there. You do

1:10:32

something, did you see that?

1:10:33

Oh, hello? Just an empty room. You just have

1:10:35

to clip it, clip it, and you're just alone. Yeah, yeah.

1:10:38

You're like, wait, I guess I'll just try to remember. Oh, you

1:10:40

don't see that, thanks for the cheer. Well, I train

1:10:42

this, no. It does, it's mostly

1:10:45

gone. I drink a lot of it on the way. Did you practice?

1:10:47

It's honestly gone. It's got half

1:10:49

a... Did you practice the song? No, I pulled up a tutorial

1:10:52

as I was walking... Oh.

1:10:55

Oh, I pulled up a tutorial as I was walking back. That was

1:10:57

me, dude, for a second. We took a little dive back

1:10:59

into Fall Guys last week. We did.

1:11:02

Because they had the Ninja Turtles outfit. No,

1:11:04

because they had Fall Boys. Well, right after that Fall Boys. And of course,

1:11:06

it was gone by the time we played it. Right, I usually

1:11:08

is. It's like the soccer game that we like to play with Jackie,

1:11:10

which is the worst goalie ever. But

1:11:13

then also, when she blocks one thing,

1:11:15

it's like, give me a raise, give me a raise.

1:11:18

But

1:11:19

I think it was you who found out there was the Ninja Turtle outfits.

1:11:22

Yeah, from the new movie that just came out. Yeah, so we're all

1:11:24

texting. It was Jackie, myself, Michael, Meg, his

1:11:26

takeout crew, they're essentially

1:11:29

Michaels figuring out which Ninja Turtle

1:11:31

everyone would be. And obviously,

1:11:33

I was assigned Donatello, and then she was like, okay,

1:11:35

cool, tech.

1:11:37

Jackie was assigned Raphael. And she

1:11:40

goes, remember we're in bed. She looks at me and was like,

1:11:42

wait, why the fuck am I Raphael? And I was

1:11:45

like, well, because of that. Because I was in

1:11:47

there. Bullshit. Bullshit. Fuck

1:11:49

this guy. Fuck this guy. Wait, is he the mad one? He's

1:11:52

the anger one. Okay, yeah, that makes

1:11:54

sense. Then

1:11:56

I said Meg and I would both be Leo, because Mikey

1:11:58

sucks.

1:11:59

Meg felt bad and just picked Mikey. I

1:12:02

liked your guys' photos on Twitter. I think you were copying

1:12:04

Jackie's, and then Michael and then Mike also. Jackie

1:12:07

tweeted a very blurry picture of yourself. What

1:12:09

is difficult with modern day smartphones,

1:12:13

because it has camera stabilization.

1:12:15

Also just take another one. Right. You

1:12:18

look at it and go, that's blurry. But Jackie took

1:12:20

a go-by photo, it was blurry. So

1:12:22

then I sat. You could pick a new little key frame.

1:12:25

Well, it's live. She doesn't have the live photos

1:12:27

on. And then so I sat there going,

1:12:29

I took it and I'm trying to shake my camera

1:12:32

so I can get a little bit of blur. So I got that.

1:12:34

And then

1:12:34

Michael took one.

1:12:36

And then that's Jackie. Which is great, because we were doing it live at that

1:12:38

point. Oh, yeah. So I did the

1:12:40

same thing. I'm like, oh, hang on. I

1:12:44

was kind of doing this. Waving them over and over. He's taking pictures.

1:12:46

And so I got a good one. Eric joined in,

1:12:48

who wasn't there. Yeah. So I was screaming

1:12:51

from his comments. Yeah. I saw that it was

1:12:53

a jacket that posted all of them. So I was swiping

1:12:55

through. And I

1:12:56

was like, oh, fifth one. What's this? Yeah,

1:12:58

Eric. That is never going to miss a good time.

1:13:00

Yeah, always. See, it's like Joe

1:13:02

will see the good time look in and go,

1:13:04

I wish. And Eric goes, comes

1:13:07

in. What do you mean I wish? I

1:13:09

just mean you probably saw that thread and went,

1:13:11

cool, fire the blurry photo. You like

1:13:14

having a look at it. I didn't even see the thread.

1:13:16

You didn't see the thread. Good. Because

1:13:18

now if you see the thread, you're going to let go. But you said something

1:13:20

about Eric having a blurred photo on his couch. Someone

1:13:23

posted that photo underneath another

1:13:26

thread that Bliss started

1:13:28

saying, I wish men were sluttier. And

1:13:31

I told him, give me three

1:13:32

months. And then Eric said,

1:13:35

my man. And then someone posted that blurry

1:13:37

photo. That must have been right after. I mean, that just happened.

1:13:40

That was on Thursday? Yeah.

1:13:44

That must have been. That's where it came from. It's going around?

1:13:46

It is. Yeah. Unless it existed before that, then

1:13:49

that's crazy.

1:13:51

Unless he was reposting a blurry picture of

1:13:53

himself. Oh, he's kind of a bitch.

1:13:55

He was ready. I have a big doubt about

1:13:58

it. I'm

1:14:01

gonna

1:14:01

have to get into this Baldur's

1:14:04

Gate. It's been tickling

1:14:06

me. It's good stuff. You've been hearing about it. You wanna dive

1:14:08

in? Isn't it a pretty raunchy game? I don't know, you

1:14:11

could definitely get naked. Fuck everything.

1:14:13

You could romance a lot of things. There's a lot of romancing,

1:14:15

a lot of fucking.

1:14:17

Even to the point now where there are official

1:14:20

any percent sex speed runs. Oh,

1:14:22

I saw that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think

1:14:24

the current record is like six minutes

1:14:27

or something. No, it's under four minutes, toast beat

1:14:29

it yesterday. Okay. Four

1:14:32

minutes to get into this. Four minutes. I'm doing it all

1:14:34

wrong. Get right in.

1:14:35

I'm slow roasting everybody. Right now,

1:14:37

you're more like you're no roasting. No,

1:14:40

it's moving. Things are moving. Don't worry, it'll accelerate.

1:14:42

You'll get spit roasting. Oh. Yeah.

1:14:45

I

1:14:45

was wondering, you're playing with four people. Is it like watching

1:14:48

a sex scene with your parents when you're just like all four

1:14:50

of you are just like. You make two of them go kiss,

1:14:53

kissy, kiss. Can you romance other

1:14:55

players or just NPCs?

1:14:56

I think it's just the story. I'm assuming

1:14:58

NPCs because otherwise, it would give me a flood

1:15:01

on social media. It's like my character's banging

1:15:03

my friend's character. That's what it already is with

1:15:05

the NPC is why not? Why not just

1:15:08

take the leap?

1:15:09

Just let them bang each other. Who cares? You

1:15:12

get two people. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

1:15:16

And they just never leave their house. They never leave

1:15:18

the commuter and they're like, I did just keep saying

1:15:20

yes. This is what both of you are saying,

1:15:22

right? I'm role playing.

1:15:24

It's like a black hair episode with the VR. No,

1:15:27

it's out last. They both grab

1:15:29

each other and go, I'm not letting go. I'm not letting go.

1:15:31

I'm not letting go. You don't leave. I'm not letting

1:15:33

go. Just keep doing this. We

1:15:35

need to get off this grass. What's this on Game Boy? What

1:15:38

is on Game Boy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your glasses

1:15:40

are so incredibly reflective

1:15:42

that I don't.

1:15:43

I look like I'm staring at your

1:15:45

perspective of life. It's

1:15:48

beautiful. Look through his eyes. I don't

1:15:50

know what he's, he looks like he's seeing

1:15:52

as me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's envisioning

1:15:55

him first person. As usual,

1:15:57

once again, he's envisioning himself as

1:15:59

me.

1:15:59

looking at him just so he can say, I'm

1:16:02

proud of you. I love you. Yeah. Bop,

1:16:05

bop. Bop. Bop. Bop. But

1:16:08

it was a still image for a second. Yeah. I

1:16:10

started looking at it. Joe was just like, and now

1:16:13

I'm nodding. Yes, Joe. You are

1:16:15

enough. You are enough. You

1:16:17

are enough. I love it. Reach

1:16:19

out to me. I want to see what it looks like. Oh, God. I

1:16:22

never had this before, Joe. You wanted me.

1:16:24

Yes! Yes! Oh,

1:16:26

God! Father!

1:16:29

You're back!

1:16:33

For some reason, that just joggles

1:16:35

my brain.

1:16:36

I don't remember what we were looking at. Like

1:16:38

a slap. I don't remember what we were looking at. We were

1:16:40

looking at a picture of a bus.

1:16:43

And for some reason, I looked at you and said, maybe your dad's

1:16:45

driving that.

1:16:46

I don't know what that was. It was last week, and

1:16:48

nothing's even anything. But that

1:16:50

whole scenario just reminded me of that. I

1:16:55

think it was like a thumbnail or something.

1:16:58

Yeah. Oh, it was like a

1:17:00

speed thumbnail, but maybe it was something. Oh, yeah. My

1:17:02

face was on there, wasn't it? That's what it was. But then there was

1:17:04

a bus behind me. That's what it was. It was for a video. Yeah.

1:17:08

I'm just wondering if your dad's on the bus. Yeah, we had

1:17:10

a challenge accepted with Matt a while

1:17:12

ago. And it was like a snakey

1:17:14

bus. Or it's like snake,

1:17:16

and you just kept trying to make the

1:17:18

bus gets larger, and

1:17:19

you don't want to run into yourself. I'm going to

1:17:21

get some more water before I explode. The whole episode, I just

1:17:23

kept talking about how my

1:17:26

dad left me when I was young.

1:17:28

And then the next time

1:17:31

I saw him, which was like a decade later, he was

1:17:33

driving one of the buses in San Francisco.

1:17:36

And it was like, hey,

1:17:38

how are you doing?

1:17:40

Haven't seen you in a while. Still had to pay

1:17:42

for my fare, too. Why? That

1:17:44

whole video awkward. The whole time. It's

1:17:46

the whole time, man. I just kept trying to

1:17:49

steer the conversation somewhere else. Fredo and I just kept

1:17:51

making abandoned, like, deadbeat

1:17:54

dad jokes to each other the entire

1:17:56

video. But then half of them were just going away from

1:17:59

it.

1:17:59

We just kept bringing it right back. Matt

1:18:02

would be like, I don't, I

1:18:04

have an opposite experience. Let me

1:18:06

steer this elsewhere now. He just kept going, I

1:18:09

didn't think it'd be this. I didn't think it'd be

1:18:11

this. That story not true? That story's true.

1:18:13

Oh, I think it's not that fly. So like, no, like a ton of it

1:18:16

was made up, but then there was like actual

1:18:18

like truce in that, where I was like, yeah, you know, I

1:18:20

have to pay for it too. It's my dad after

1:18:22

a decade. Damn. He

1:18:25

needed money for the new

1:18:26

man. He said that's cold. No, he just

1:18:28

didn't, you know. Hey, everyone's

1:18:30

got to pay. That's why he's gone. Everyone's got to pay.

1:18:33

This is a lesson to you. He's looking out

1:18:35

for me. He doesn't want me to get fined. Yeah. You

1:18:37

know what

1:18:38

I mean? You know, what is it? Patrol comes on,

1:18:40

start checking everyone's tickets. I get fined, he's looking

1:18:42

out for me. He's looking out for me. Yeah, you keep telling

1:18:45

yourself that.

1:18:45

He's like, I didn't teach you a lot, but I'll teach you this. I

1:18:49

know it wasn't around for much, but at least I

1:18:51

can do this. But put in the 35 cents so you don't get

1:18:53

fined.

1:18:57

That shows. And

1:18:59

this is exactly

1:19:00

what he was saying. Exactly what

1:19:02

he was saying. We're just watching.

1:19:04

Hammering. This is exactly what

1:19:07

we're recreating the episode. Because

1:19:10

everyone seems to be like, I don't know what to

1:19:12

do, I don't know how to react. Did I talk to my dad yesterday?

1:19:16

Must be nice. Yeah. I'll

1:19:18

share. Did you have to pay 35 cents

1:19:20

for that? Probably long distance

1:19:22

call. We just kept doing that. We kept

1:19:25

steering the covers, and then we just put

1:19:27

the picture back into

1:19:28

it. Oh, fuck. I think Michael did that

1:19:30

one time we were playing Mario Party. I

1:19:33

don't know if Michael's dad passed away. Okay,

1:19:35

so that's all. Oh, yeah, yeah. He

1:19:37

kept steering into that. And

1:19:39

I think this is when I was first getting to know Michael, so I didn't

1:19:42

know his humor or how I can joke around. But

1:19:44

I'm like, oh, I was like, Michael, I have a great relationship

1:19:46

with my father. He's like,

1:19:47

way to rub it in. And I'm just like, oh,

1:19:49

my God. I'm so sorry. I'm

1:19:52

so sorry. I'm an asshole. I'm so sorry.

1:19:55

That's how I feel, because that

1:19:58

makes a lot of dead mom jokes. And

1:20:01

I don't know how to react sometimes. I

1:20:03

mean, it's just like you laugh away

1:20:05

at the pain. No, it's like it's funny because

1:20:08

it sounds fucked up, but I want to add to it.

1:20:10

I want to add to the joke because I know her humor and

1:20:13

I know she'll find it funny. Then do it. Yeah,

1:20:15

I'm going to say if it's like. You guys have a trusting notice of a trusty.

1:20:17

But then in my head I'm like, maybe a little bit too dark.

1:20:19

Well, you know. Oh, God. I'm like, oh,

1:20:21

I'm sorry. I mean, you keep it like, you don't like, you

1:20:24

know what I mean? Try and go for the three pointer or

1:20:26

the half-court shot. You know what I mean? You do

1:20:28

a layup. You go for

1:20:30

the full-court shot. You go full-court, $9.

1:20:33

She said something

1:20:36

like, I miss my mom. And then he goes, and he

1:20:38

just goes hard on me. This is my chance.

1:20:41

Wasn't even a comedic moment. He's like,

1:20:43

dung-sotter. And he's

1:20:45

like, Jesus. And then I'm sitting there, I'm like running

1:20:48

around the house going, woo! Yeah!

1:20:50

That was a good one. How was it going? How

1:20:52

was it going?

1:20:53

Pick her up, jostle her around.

1:20:56

You're like, fuck up, buddy. Woo! I'm

1:20:58

so good! I'm so good at this! Fuck

1:21:01

it out. Oh, my god.

1:21:04

Dude, I've been playing the Texas

1:21:06

Chainsaw Massacre game

1:21:07

all weekend. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fun.

1:21:10

It's kind of like Friday the 13th, Dead by

1:21:12

Daylight. It runs, I think

1:21:14

it's a really entertaining game. There's three

1:21:17

killers against four victims. I didn't like it

1:21:19

at all. You didn't like it? I hated the three-killer concept.

1:21:21

Really? There's so much in, like, tiny little

1:21:24

rooms. But I think I just need to play it more.

1:21:26

Yeah. First couple games, ooh,

1:21:28

not good. I feel like the victims have

1:21:30

a big advantage, because there's so many things to hide

1:21:33

in,

1:21:33

in corners or something. That's my problem, because I didn't

1:21:35

utilize that. So I died, like, first two

1:21:37

minutes, like, right away. I was like, fuck this game. That's

1:21:39

not who you just started. You die right away, yeah,

1:21:42

you just feel out of the game. But also, like,

1:21:44

Friday the 13th, I fucking loved. And I was in

1:21:46

from the early wave. And so there

1:21:48

was, like, you grew with everyone else. It's

1:21:51

like the same with most, like, shooters or whatever.

1:21:53

If you step away, or if people get early

1:21:55

access and betas and stuff, they get all really

1:21:57

fucking good. Then you roll in, and you're like, I don't

1:21:59

know.

1:21:59

I don't know the meta, I'm getting my ass slammed

1:22:02

here. I don't know what to

1:22:04

do. Yeah, Texas

1:22:06

Chainsaw Massacre game. So you end up dying and then just

1:22:08

watching your lobby until the game's over so you can get your

1:22:10

experience and hopefully get better. But it

1:22:12

sounds awesome, I haven't played it yet. I do like it in the sense

1:22:15

of, because Friday the 13th, once

1:22:17

Jason actually caught

1:22:19

you, it kind of felt like you were helpless just running out in

1:22:21

the open. There are ways

1:22:24

you can escape pretty easily. And

1:22:26

so it's more so like,

1:22:29

can I get away with opening this gate

1:22:31

for 30 seconds? You know what I mean? Because

1:22:33

you start in the basement, then you work your way

1:22:35

up to the first floor, and

1:22:38

then you're trying to open an electrified

1:22:40

fence or this, this, and that. But the thing is, if

1:22:43

you get caught, there are bushes and little

1:22:45

crevices that you can crawl into that they can't.

1:22:47

But also there are wells that

1:22:49

you can dive into and just fall into the first floor

1:22:52

and reset it. Is there romancing

1:22:54

in this game? Right. Can I bang with grandfather?

1:22:56

The chainsaw. There

1:22:59

is. He's like on a chair. Take that leather

1:23:01

face off, he goes. Roll, roll, roll.

1:23:03

My favorite is at the end of every round. I'm

1:23:05

rolling on your mic. That's a good

1:23:07

call. You got yelled at.

1:23:10

After every round, he gets that chain podcast. I

1:23:12

feel like you got yelled at. I feel

1:23:14

like you got yelled at. You went, oh! That

1:23:16

started holding the shit at you. I forgot to turn the mic back on. I heard,

1:23:18

I heard, beep. I was like, what is that? Is it guns that

1:23:20

you? Yeah, and then the voice comes back up. That's just Mike Burdle,

1:23:23

AKA God. We were playing one round

1:23:25

and it was with Jackie Maik, Lexi,

1:23:28

and myself. And the three of them got

1:23:30

out. And then it was just me. And

1:23:32

they were like, that's the gate. Go, go, go. I went up

1:23:34

to the gate and I stood there and I went,

1:23:37

they're

1:23:37

like, what are you doing? And I went, no. This

1:23:40

will keep happening if not to us other

1:23:42

people. I've got to stop this. And I

1:23:44

ran back inside. Yeah, I was like, I've got

1:23:46

to end it. And then I'm like, what

1:23:48

are you doing? And I ran and got, and

1:23:50

I got like

1:23:51

instantly. I'm like, I'm stopping it. I'm

1:23:54

ending it. I'm going to be that hero.

1:23:56

Confusing the ground destination.

1:23:59

It's find a station. You have to wish this

1:24:01

is just some guy true

1:24:03

it was a main actor

1:24:05

first one Devin Salah I would love I don't hands

1:24:07

to the game to roll credits after

1:24:10

your death and they shut down all the servers my

1:24:15

god no we never

1:24:17

thought anyone would do it no one ever goes back well

1:24:22

you did it you actually did it the

1:24:24

bad man

1:24:27

well chakras already

1:24:29

slapped at his knee well

1:24:31

we're in for something hey no that was that

1:24:33

was so I saw a tiktok that like nailed

1:24:36

me down I was like Midwest

1:24:38

boy sure a

1:24:40

Midwest boy I you know you have your

1:24:42

mannerisms and your accents and your things

1:24:44

and you're just not like I don't ever think like

1:24:47

well that's an Indiana thing to do but this

1:24:49

whole sketch was predicated on like things

1:24:51

Midwesterners do and and the

1:24:54

thing was like if you're having a gathering or

1:24:56

like people are over at your house or somebody

1:24:58

else's house the way to end it is to go well

1:25:03

both hands slap on the thighs you know well

1:25:05

you start to start to stand up and everyone goes yeah

1:25:08

yeah time to hit the old dusty trail that's not

1:25:10

the Midwest

1:25:10

people go what are you doing yeah standing up you know something

1:25:18

that's what my mother would always do on the phone not

1:25:20

the ender but the extender it's like we've ended

1:25:22

the conversation yeah she's talking to the next

1:25:25

one hasn't started yet but I'm gonna fill

1:25:27

this gap on the phone so when you're done speaking

1:25:29

you

1:25:30

go so you know that's

1:25:34

anyway what about what about one the

1:25:39

other person says bye oh wait wait

1:25:41

bye oh this yeah

1:25:43

bye you guys have that yeah

1:25:46

wait are you the one repeatedly saying bye no

1:25:48

just call these people

1:25:51

it's not like that person on the phone yeah

1:25:53

it's both ways like that's just normal

1:25:56

both people on each end of the phone like

1:25:58

yeah so Oh,

1:26:01

or it's like or it's like someone usually someone's

1:26:03

like I gotta go to and then the other person

1:26:05

like did you hear about this though? No, what

1:26:07

do you mean? Oh, they just you just ignore

1:26:09

the fact that they said they're leaving but then

1:26:12

they also would be like, oh no What do you mean another 30

1:26:14

minutes? Yeah all the time and I'm

1:26:16

just I'm trying to get on the internet

1:26:18

going I want to use AOL get off the

1:26:20

phone We only had one phone

1:26:22

line

1:26:22

at the time. I want to tell you

1:26:25

what I saw Speaking of you seeing that Midwestern

1:26:27

thing. I saw this yesterday It's

1:26:29

clearly something like behind the scenes or whatever. So I don't know

1:26:31

how long it's been it's been around But

1:26:35

I just saw it yesterday and it's it's

1:26:37

Ryan Gosling talking about Just

1:26:40

like the Kens. It's only 30 seconds. I'll

1:26:42

just play it you can hear it

1:26:44

Ken shooty you got Ken Scott,

1:26:47

you know, Ken Kingsley Ken

1:26:49

see move there's Alan

1:26:51

Michael Sarah

1:26:53

and how

1:26:53

are they can't they're just you know, they're kennings Kening

1:26:58

all over the place. They're

1:27:00

kidding all over each other They're

1:27:05

kidding everywhere and

1:27:07

they're kidding so hard that they're gonna

1:27:09

can themselves blind

1:27:15

Watch it like five times and he's just like losing it Kening

1:27:22

themselves blind I

1:27:26

Fucking love Ryan Gosling as Ken more

1:27:28

every day. Yeah, he's already coming.

1:27:30

Yeah, he's like I found my new I just Really

1:27:33

took that every day. I see him do something

1:27:35

I go. It's me Um, I

1:27:37

also read it He had an interview lately where

1:27:39

he was just like I'm very excited Because

1:27:42

I like I've always wanted to play a character

1:27:44

that people

1:27:45

would dress up for for Halloween

1:27:47

He was like I finally have that character. That's

1:27:49

right. That wasn't drive I was gonna say the guy

1:27:51

on the planet That's what he said.

1:27:54

I'm just saying he's for shit, but

1:27:56

it's a good one

1:27:59

It probably wasn't like wide enough for him to

1:28:02

be like, oh, awesome. This is gonna be like

1:28:04

everywhere. This is gonna be everywhere.

1:28:06

Oh yeah, well also Ken's much easier. You can

1:28:09

be anyhow. Super easy. I'm Ken. You're

1:28:11

just, Ken and a Barbie are so just like,

1:28:13

you don't have to wear like what they wore in

1:28:15

the movie. What's up with Joe?

1:28:18

Joe's still watching. I'm learning the cups. Okay. He's

1:28:20

still walking. It's a slow-mo tutorial. It's a slow-mo

1:28:23

tutorial. Learning, because that's how we're gonna

1:28:25

wrap this show. Oh yeah, that's how you ended, Joe. In a couple minutes

1:28:27

you're gonna do that. This Ken does cup. Oh.

1:28:30

You're literally watching this. Watching the,

1:28:33

yeah. He's like, wait for the video. He's

1:28:35

like, I only know how to do it in slow-mo. The video's

1:28:37

like, do this. This doesn't seem

1:28:39

right. No, I don't just. Why don't you do it at normal

1:28:41

speed? Joe, go on TikTok. Joe, go on TikTok. You'll

1:28:43

get like a really short cut down. That is not normal

1:28:45

speed. I'm not

1:28:46

changing it. Well, I'll get off and it's just Joe. It's

1:28:49

this person doing it real slow. Right. Because

1:28:51

he's teaching you. That's literally what I said. Why

1:28:53

don't you watch it in normal speed so you don't learn

1:28:56

to do it like this? Uh,

1:28:59

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

1:29:02

uh. Oh, I got it. Yeah. I'm

1:29:04

not doing it without the video. That's like someone reading the script

1:29:06

while holding it and going, it's all memorized. I read

1:29:08

it once. I read it. All right, we'll do it slow.

1:29:11

And see. All right, here we go. It makes me

1:29:13

miss like speed cups. That doesn't count.

1:29:22

Yeah, I was doing that. I can't tell you if it's right or not.

1:29:24

She was in there. It looked good. Yep,

1:29:27

that's right. Yep.

1:29:31

You

1:29:34

know when they pick it up and go, oh. That

1:29:42

long pause. I got a ticket

1:29:44

for the long. I

1:29:48

like the idea of someone like on a piano, like

1:29:50

Elton John. You know what I mean? Like,

1:29:52

like my song, like, Sing us

1:29:55

a song.

1:29:56

Aw. Ah.

1:30:01

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

1:30:04

Ah. Ah.

1:30:05

And I think it's gonna. Ah.

1:30:09

Ah. Ah. I'm moving out.

1:30:11

I'm moving out. That's in creating the song. It's genius.

1:30:14

It's, it's, it's. Oh, so we were watching Brilliant's

1:30:16

Emotion. Yes, exactly. Do, do, do, do. But

1:30:18

that's already been created. Do, do, do, do, do. Yes, yeah.

1:30:21

Tell him that. He thinks he's writing it right now. Yeah.

1:30:24

See? I got Billy J. I'm watching Brilliant's

1:30:26

Emotion. The thing I'm watching to learn. Well.

1:30:31

Got it. One

1:30:34

of, one of its kind. It only took him, and more

1:30:36

importantly, you, an entire podcast,

1:30:38

to get to the end. He's

1:30:42

applauding. I don't know if you, okay, your clapping. I was just clapping

1:30:44

for it. I was about to start it again. Yeah. That's

1:30:46

about it. It seemed like a self-clap. Well,

1:30:49

I was supposed to applaud for me. Was that? So,

1:30:52

who, who's playing Baldur's Gate after this? Cause

1:30:54

now I want to play. Oh, boot

1:30:56

it up. Roll some dice. Do

1:30:59

you roll dice? The cup song playing in the back? Yeah, dude. The

1:31:01

game is like the DM. But it like, your

1:31:05

perception checks and things like that are all passive.

1:31:07

So you'll just suddenly be walking and you'll hear, rattle,

1:31:09

rattle, rattle, roll, failed. Oh. Just

1:31:12

chat somewhere. So there's. Oh, that's really

1:31:14

cool. Do you see little dice? Yeah. Sometimes,

1:31:16

sometimes it pops up and says, passed or failed. I'm so

1:31:18

excited to see, cause I don't know what the fuck this looks like.

1:31:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're talking to somebody, you'll see the dice.

1:31:22

I haven't glanced at it. Yeah. I

1:31:24

was just gonna glance at Joe the whole podcast. Everyone, I turn my head

1:31:27

this way, I'm looking that way. The whole time.

1:31:28

See? The

1:31:30

last is our deception then, because. That's

1:31:33

what they're for. That's what they're for. So

1:31:35

you don't know what I'm doing. Sometimes I'm sleeping. Keep

1:31:37

an eye on baby. Nice.

1:31:40

If we need anything you wanna say here? You've

1:31:42

had this notification on your screen this whole time, dude. He's

1:31:44

been looking at you. Am I gonna go on my phone? Yeah, he's been looking.

1:31:47

He's been waiting for you. I've been waiting for

1:31:48

you. I had a TikTok. I had a TikTok blew up

1:31:50

of like my cat. So, you know, my TikTok notification.

1:31:53

Whoa, what's that talk? Whoa. Let's

1:31:55

talk about it. What's that talk? Give him the talk.

1:31:57

I don't know. Like you took your hand off his back. Yeah, it was.

1:31:59

We should have a show called TikTok.

1:32:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah. T-A-L-K and we talk about TikTok. Well,

1:32:04

you've got like, do you have, are you like forced

1:32:06

to various foo across? It's like, foo-ya,

1:32:08

I am foo-ya. No, if I

1:32:09

can't get, oh yeah, I like, I do foo-ya everywhere.

1:32:12

So this one's foo-ya boo-ya. Nice.

1:32:15

I feel like, well, sounding good, way harder to

1:32:17

find this. Foo-ya boo-ya. I guess I don't know

1:32:19

how. No, it's the first thing that pops up It's pretty

1:32:21

good about that. But right here, there was a TikTok with my

1:32:23

cat. You got cat talks? How

1:32:25

many cats do I have? All right, you

1:32:28

got your streaming desk. What's his name? He's

1:32:30

a grumpier cat. 26 million. Crazy. Crazy.

1:32:33

People love animals. You must have made a couple bucks from

1:32:35

that. No. No. No,

1:32:37

it's not how it works. A few people came into my stream, so. Oh,

1:32:40

that's good. Whoa. That's actually

1:32:42

awesome. Start taking hella videos of Liam. Yeah.

1:32:45

Hey, what's up? This is my disabled corgi. I got

1:32:47

two cats. I got two people. I'm

1:32:49

waiting to get that cat cash, you know. I've

1:32:51

been grooming two cats. It's like, are you a breeder?

1:32:54

It's like, yeah, but I'm a breeder of views. You're

1:32:57

right. I got my two cats to breed you. Cats are gonna

1:32:59

cash me in. Yeah, they're my retirement.

1:33:01

See, first I'm just letting people get acclimated

1:33:03

to them, get to know them. You know, they're like, oh,

1:33:06

I know Leon and Ada, classic cats, but

1:33:08

they're like turning four, and they're like, wow, now they're model

1:33:10

cats. And

1:33:11

they're like, I've been following these cats for four years,

1:33:14

hoping to get this kind of expose. Check.

1:33:17

And now you'll get it.

1:33:18

I follow like some cats on TikTok. Like, I

1:33:20

love them. And now I'm like, killing my cats to know this.

1:33:22

Like, I'm a fan of these cats. Oh,

1:33:24

shit, that's not cool. They don't like share the

1:33:27

cat. Love. Do you have

1:33:29

that parasite that makes you love cats, that

1:33:31

toxic plasmosis or whatever it's called?

1:33:34

Yeah, but it only makes her love

1:33:36

Instagram and TikTok cats. Not her own

1:33:38

cats. Oh, god, oh, no. I've

1:33:41

forgotten my cats for weeks.

1:33:42

Oh, shit, I have cats. It's

1:33:44

a thing mostly for like rodents. Like if the rodents

1:33:46

get infected by it, it makes them

1:33:48

like come to the cat and not have the fear

1:33:51

of cats. What? The idea

1:33:53

is if humans get it, it makes you

1:33:55

love cats more. And like, that doesn't seem like a problem.

1:33:57

And also, it seems like it would just, you'd be afraid

1:33:59

of cats less. Right.

1:34:01

Not, like I don't think the rat loves the

1:34:03

cat. You know what I mean? It's weird how it

1:34:05

modifies. Also, I'm gonna say this as any

1:34:07

pet owner, but especially cat owners. Like,

1:34:10

you've got pet owners, but then you have people where it's like, I'm

1:34:12

a this person. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm

1:34:14

a dog person. Cat owners the most, I feel like, really

1:34:17

telling me what the cat is thinking. Yeah.

1:34:19

And I go, look, I get like actions and reaction,

1:34:22

but it's like, no, no, philosophically, this is what the

1:34:24

cat thing, and I go, I don't think you know that much. You should

1:34:26

always feel it. I don't think, well, when

1:34:28

a cat does this, they mean,

1:34:31

you've

1:34:31

scratched me, but too hard. Can you move over two

1:34:33

inches to the right and rub my belly there? When

1:34:35

a cat does that, it means, hey, I

1:34:38

like the pets, but like, give me

1:34:40

pets 30 minutes from now, then come back, I'll turn around

1:34:42

twice, walk out the door, come back, knock on the door, you let me

1:34:44

in. I'm not crazy, but then- And I go,

1:34:46

my dog is like, I want food. Food.

1:34:49

And then I pour the food, and I go, see, he wants it. The

1:34:51

cat thing is always like, it's

1:34:53

not verifiable in any way. They'll

1:34:56

say something about a cat, and then go, see? And

1:34:58

I go, the cat just looks like sitting there with me. Oh,

1:35:00

the cat blinked

1:35:01

at you, that means he loves you. Slow bank. Yeah.

1:35:04

It's a thing. Dog push buttons, it's

1:35:06

two words, right? Dude, that is crazy. Cats

1:35:11

shit in the toilet sometimes. I mean, so I

1:35:13

don't know, I think I've seen more language out of a dog.

1:35:15

Something that Liam does, because he's got a little bit

1:35:17

of border color in him, so he's a Borgie.

1:35:20

Corgie, Borgie, or a collar. So

1:35:22

like, we'll pet him and give

1:35:24

him the scratches, and then he'll

1:35:26

literally just, like, while you're petting him, scratch him, and go

1:35:29

like this. He goes like, he pushes his

1:35:31

paw up against you. And then I

1:35:33

was like, why does he do that? Looked it up, and it's like

1:35:35

a border collie thing. It's him like,

1:35:37

petting you back. That's so nice.

1:35:39

I was like, because he always, yeah, because you pet

1:35:41

him, and he's always going like this. I'm like, oh, you're just trying to like,

1:35:44

get your lean out? Like, you're just trying to like. He's

1:35:46

pushing you away.

1:35:47

Like, you're like, I want to be this far while I get petted?

1:35:49

No, that's him going, I pet you too. I

1:35:52

think you're saying you looked

1:35:54

it up, I don't want to burst this bubble. I looked it up.

1:35:57

Joe's dog also does that. I'm pretty sure Joe

1:35:59

is the one that propagates.

1:35:59

that information is like, why, my dog's pushing

1:36:02

me. It must be because he wants pets back. I'm gonna go

1:36:04

put this on the internet. When your dog

1:36:06

pushes you, and it's like, oh my God, he's giving me

1:36:08

pets back. That's verified. Another

1:36:10

dog person told me. The Reddit post that

1:36:12

Fredo found was from me. Yeah. Just

1:36:15

because anybody knows when my dog like shows me

1:36:17

and bites me, and it's always like biting on me and stuff,

1:36:20

he loves me, you know, he loves me with

1:36:22

stitches. Big time love.

1:36:25

He just wants to be close. Ah! I

1:36:28

got it, I got it. He's biting him, he's just hanging

1:36:30

on. Yeah. Did you enjoy yourself? Who?

1:36:35

The audience. Oh God, no, they didn't. Did

1:36:37

you enjoy yourself, Joe? Yeah, I'll intro you out.

1:36:40

Go ahead with the, no, like you

1:36:42

talk, and then I'll do the other one. Oh, okay, hey, thanks for

1:36:44

watching Off Topic. Flia, thanks for being here. Sorry we

1:36:47

wasted your time. No, you didn't. We did.

1:36:49

Just kidding, I'm not sorry about it though. But

1:36:51

if you do read an email for

1:36:54

a great opportunity to get your car on

1:36:56

a new season, a Pimp My Ride, I would

1:36:58

sign off on it. It's

1:37:00

not us, it's not fake. But

1:37:02

we'll call it trash your ride. Right, yeah.

1:37:04

We'll

1:37:08

get to your car sooner or later. Is

1:37:10

it here, is it outside? We're gonna automate it. I'm

1:37:12

gonna learn to drive it self, dangerously.

1:37:15

Yeah, it will. That

1:37:17

was my favorite part of the song when it went.

1:37:20

I gotta buy some LEDs for,

1:37:24

no reason. I gotta buy his LEDs. This is like adult

1:37:26

talk now, or like adult talk now. I

1:37:28

need to get a couple of glasses. He's in the groove now. He's

1:37:31

in the groove now, nobody interrupts him. He

1:37:33

goes forever. Oh, I gotta

1:37:35

get water, look, I'm Joe. I'm not taking it.

1:37:39

I gotta go get some water. I gotta

1:37:41

get water. Where's

1:37:43

the water? I can end it. Yep, that was it.

1:37:46

End it!

1:37:48

Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks.

1:37:50

Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks. Oh,

1:37:52

thanks. Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks.

1:37:55

Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks. Oh,

1:37:57

thanks.