0:00

the time of year when we're all thinking about

0:02

goals and priorities. Now is the time to

0:04

plan your next trip. Whatever kind

0:06

of travel fills you up, whether it's lounging

0:08

on the beach, connecting with family and friends,

0:10

or going on a foreign adventure, Expedia

0:12

has the tools you need to plan a great trip.

0:15

Download the Expedia app or visit

0:17

Expedia.com to start planning. You

0:19

do need to be a one key member to use

0:21

price tracking. Signing up is easy and free. Expedia,

0:24

made to travel. Have

0:27

you ever gotten sick on a

0:29

very expensive, very non -refundable family

0:32

trip? Amazon One Medical

0:34

has 24 -7 virtual care, so

0:36

you can get help no matter

0:38

where you are. And with

0:40

Amazon Pharmacy, your meds can get

0:42

delivered right to your hotel, fast.

0:45

It's kind of like the room service of medical care.

0:48

Thanks to Amazon, healthcare just

0:50

got less painful. I'm

0:54

Oprah Winfrey. Welcome to

0:56

Supersoul Conversations, the podcast.

1:00

I believe that one of the most valuable gifts you

1:02

can give yourself is

1:04

time. Taking time

1:06

to be more fully present. Your

1:09

journey to become more inspired

1:11

and connected to the deeper

1:13

world around us starts right

1:15

now. Like

1:17

many super -soulers, Elizabeth Gilbert shares

1:20

a fascination with American author

1:22

and mythologist Joseph Campbell. While

1:24

deeply inspired by Campbell's work,

1:27

Elizabeth points out women are

1:29

rarely at the center of the story. Elizabeth

1:31

says, we all have a

1:34

calling, and it's up to us

1:36

to take the lead in our own story. OK,

1:39

so let's review. Everybody is on their

1:41

own hero's journey, whether they know it or

1:43

not. They're invited. They're certainly invited.

1:45

Yeah. You're invited. So it

1:47

begins with a call. Yeah. And

1:49

you can accept the call or deny the call right

1:51

is the story ends when you refuse the call,

1:53

yeah, it's over that's like choose your own ending you

1:56

just chose it. Yeah, your book is one page.

1:58

Yes, when you deny the call though is it the

2:00

same as denying destiny. I think so well,

2:02

I mean no because then you chose your

2:04

destiny. Yeah, there's another everybody gets a destiny

2:06

right it's just you got a really kind

2:08

of a board. It's it's it's like. Yeah,

2:11

you deny the call so you

2:13

deny the call and then whatever you're

2:15

on. That then becomes your destiny.

2:17

Yeah. Yeah. And it's probably just going

2:19

to not be a very interesting

2:21

story. Yes. You know, like

2:23

it's good. But in order to fulfill the highest

2:25

expression of yourself as a human being, I think you

2:27

have to say yes to the call. If you

2:30

want to be the hero of the story, you kind

2:32

of got to answer the call. Yeah. Yes, you

2:34

have to. Yeah. And then

2:36

then comes the refusal. Refusal. Then

2:38

comes the road of trials. Yes. Which I don't

2:40

need to explain because we all know what it

2:42

is. The road of trials. And then come the

2:44

characters who show up. that you have to figure

2:46

out how to navigate. The friends who look like

2:48

enemies, enemies who look like friends, a wise older

2:51

woman who gives advice, a trickster. You

2:53

know, these are the pat characters who show up and you take

2:55

what you need from them. Then comes the

2:57

dark night of the soul, also known as

2:59

the belly of the whale, the lowest moment where

3:01

you lose all faith and you consider quitting

3:03

or maybe even dying. And there

3:05

is when you have to call upon

3:07

divine assistance. You're humbled, you're broken. And

3:10

whatever the supernatural power is that you need,

3:12

you call upon it. And then the

3:14

power comes. And with that recovery

3:16

from the rock bottom, you learn

3:18

your own talents and your own strengths.

3:21

And then you have everything you need for the battle. And

3:23

in the battle, what's critically important is

3:25

that you lose your fear. Actually, Joseph Campbell was

3:27

more specific. In the battle, the

3:29

hero loses his fear of death, which

3:31

is really what all fear is. Loses

3:34

his fear of death. And then you

3:36

can face anything. And then you become

3:38

victorious. For

3:40

Elizabeth, her own hero's journey

3:42

began in Waterbury, Connecticut. where

3:45

she grew up on a Christmas tree farm.

3:48

The youngest of two daughters, Elizabeth adored

3:50

her mother who became a powerful

3:52

force in her life. Elizabeth

3:54

says she followed in her

3:56

mom's footsteps, married in her

3:58

20s, moving to a big house in

4:01

the suburbs. But after several

4:03

years of marriage, Elizabeth

4:05

says she felt trapped, ultimately

4:07

understanding that she was living

4:09

everyone else's dream for her,

4:11

not her own. Elizabeth's

4:13

breaking point came when she realized

4:15

she didn't want to have children

4:17

and no longer wanted to be

4:20

married to her husband. She

4:22

rejected the path established by

4:24

her mother and her mother's

4:26

mother before her, knowing that

4:28

the monumental decision to have

4:30

children was not right for

4:32

her. I'm

4:34

not a mother. I don't have children. That was

4:36

your choice. That was my choice. And

4:38

it's a choice. And people ask me about it

4:40

all the time, and they're always a little hesitant to

4:43

ask me because they feel like it's invasive. And

4:45

I'm like, let's talk about this. Yeah. Because I think

4:47

we all should talk about this. And the determination

4:49

that I've come to is that there are three kinds

4:51

of women in the world. There are women who

4:53

are born to be mothers. There are women

4:55

who are born to be aunties. And there

4:57

are women who should not be allowed within

4:59

10 feet of a child. And it is

5:01

very important that you figure out which one

5:03

of those camps you belong in because tragedy

5:05

and sorrow results from ending up in the

5:07

wrong category. And it is of course a

5:09

terrible tragedy. Wow, what a powerful thing to

5:11

say. And I'm in the anti -camp. Me

5:13

too. I call it the anti -bergade.

5:15

I wrote a whole chapter about this in my

5:17

book committed because the assumption is that if

5:19

you don't have children, you hate children. You

5:22

know, the anti -camp loves children. Is that the

5:24

assumption? I think it kind of is. People

5:26

think you're sort of an ogre. Or they feel

5:28

sorry for you, like sometimes people say to

5:30

me, How do you feel

5:32

now that you're older. I

5:36

feel all right people I

5:38

really do yes, and

5:40

you know what else I think I

5:42

think women people have to stop judging

5:44

other women people based on whatever camp

5:46

they're in. If you're a mother if

5:48

you're in the anti camp or if

5:50

you that you should stay 10 feet

5:53

away from children camp and just deal

5:55

with cats and dogs yeah camp. No

5:57

judge that it's your that we live

5:59

in a world. Fortunately,

6:01

well, you get to choose. Yes. Yeah.

6:03

You should get to choose that. And you

6:05

should think about it carefully, because it's an

6:07

important decision. And it was confusing. I think

6:09

the anti -camp, those of us who

6:11

are in that, it can be confusing, because

6:13

that love that we have for kids can be

6:15

like, yeah, but I love kids. Like,

6:18

I always loved kids. I still, if there was a kid here, I'd

6:20

be hanging out with a kid. You know, I love kids. kids. A kid.

6:22

I'm Annie -O and Momo. I'm an Annie

6:25

-O and Momo, yeah. I know what

6:27

it feels like to want. Like,

6:29

I have no stranger to desire. I know

6:31

what yearning feels like. I know what

6:33

desire feels like. I never had that thing

6:35

where somebody puts a baby in my

6:37

arms and, like, my ovaries start to,

6:39

you know, I never had that. I never did

6:41

either. I never had that longing. And I thought, you

6:43

got to obey the longing. I have that. You

6:45

know what makes me feel that way? Walking into a

6:47

used bookstore. I'm

6:49

like, oh. Books. Meat.

6:52

Oh, makes me ache with love and

6:54

Like, you're just saying it now. I

6:56

could smell them. Oh. Yeah. I know

6:58

what it feels like to want and

7:00

to love. And I never had that.

7:02

And I feel like if you don't

7:04

have that, and I had one

7:06

of the best things that ever happened was a friend

7:08

of mine when I was making that decision, who's one

7:10

of the best mothers I know, who seems to truly

7:12

enjoy it, loves to be a mom. I

7:14

said, what do you think, Margaret? And she said, Liz,

7:16

it's a hard enough job when you love

7:19

it. Don't

7:21

do it when you're ambivalent about it,

7:23

or you don't want to do

7:25

it. It's hard enough for Or think

7:27

you should. Or we've been married

7:29

this long. Are we? Yeah, that in

7:31

itself is what I mean by

7:33

honoring your calling. Yes. At

7:36

first, though, when you were daring

7:38

to go on your own hero's journey

7:40

and the rest of the world,

7:42

particularly your mother who's done the same

7:44

thing and did the same thing

7:46

as her mother did and her mother

7:48

did, Were

7:50

you afraid? Were you

7:52

anxious about what all those

7:54

other people would say?

7:56

Sure. Yeah,

7:58

of course. And

8:00

ashamed, you know? Ashamed

8:03

that you're not now willing to do it?

8:05

Well, they'd all come to my wedding. Yeah.

8:07

It's a little embarrassing. Oh, yeah. You know,

8:09

like... guys, thanks for the thanks for the

8:11

China. I know I was going to say

8:13

you want to say I'll return it. I'll

8:15

return your gift. It's

8:17

embarrassing. I mean, it's I mean, embarrassing

8:19

is a light word for it. Shame is the

8:21

real one. Yeah, I made a vow. You

8:24

know, like I brought families together like we had, you

8:26

know, and I think that. But Liz, did you know

8:28

when you were doing it? Was there a part of

8:30

you when you were doing it? Had

8:32

you examined it? You know, I'm not one of

8:34

those people who can say I woke up

8:36

on my wedding day and knew it was wrong.

8:38

I didn't. you didn't I didn't know I

8:40

was in love and and I was excited and

8:43

I was like cool this is I and

8:45

the feeling actually had was that's checked off the

8:47

list you know like okay married now that's

8:49

done so I guess I'll get on with the

8:51

kids you know I guess I didn't realize

8:53

that marriage isn't just the wedding it's like all

8:55

the stuff is like no it's not done. It

9:00

begins the day that you which is

9:02

I must say I think a lot of

9:04

women I've done lots of shows over

9:06

the years where oh my goodness and we

9:08

have we're a culture that's created it

9:10

with the bachelor the red and the wedding

9:12

the wedding the wedding the wedding the

9:14

wedding is the ideal yes and so many

9:16

people don't think beyond it. They just

9:18

don't think beyond it or they get trapped

9:20

in the tyranny of that story. You

9:22

know that that if you don't. go through

9:24

that rite of passage for some reason

9:26

you're not a woman. And I have a

9:28

friend who I love and admire so

9:30

much. She's an artist and she was so

9:32

successful and so happy and life full

9:34

of grace. She was turning 40

9:37

and she realized she was still trapped in

9:39

this sense that because she had never

9:41

had the white dress, the ring, the party.

9:43

I mean the white dress too, honey.

9:45

Yeah, right? That she'd never passed through that.

9:47

That somehow she was still an adolescent.

9:49

She had not yet become a woman. So

9:51

she created a ceremony of her own.

9:54

She said, I'm going to take ownership of

9:56

this somehow. I obviously need a ceremony

9:58

because something in me is feeling like I

10:00

didn't ascend to something. So

10:02

she went down, she lives in Seattle, she

10:04

went down to the Puget Sound on the

10:06

morning of her 40th birthday, dead winter, ice

10:08

cold. And she built this little boat and

10:10

she made white silk sails like out of

10:12

an old wedding dress that she'd gotten. And

10:15

she filled it with rose petals and rice.

10:17

And she set it on fire and she

10:19

sent it out to sea and she said,

10:21

I'm letting go of the bride. I'm

10:24

not doing this thing. just went

10:26

and had her own ceremony to

10:28

say, and now I'm an adult

10:30

because I just chose my own

10:32

life. And I'm not waiting for

10:34

some sort of affirmation that says,

10:36

until this event happens, you are

10:39

not completed. I just completed it.

10:41

Wow. And then she went on with her

10:43

journey. I love her for doing that. I

10:45

love that story. I love homemade ceremonies. You're

10:48

allowed to make up all kinds of ceremonies. So

10:51

do you have any of your own have lots

10:53

of them. What's your favorite

10:55

my favorite is New Year's Day New Year's Day

10:57

is my favorite day of the year because I

10:59

feel like it's such a miracle that you

11:01

get a Brit no matter how much you screwed

11:03

up. It's like they give you a brand

11:05

new one every year they're like. Yeah, we're just

11:07

going to give this brand new one. There's no

11:09

dinks on it. Yeah, like it's got no

11:11

miles on it. It doesn't smell like cigarette smoke.

11:13

It's not spilled on it. Brand new. And I'm

11:15

always like, I can't believe you guys are

11:17

giving me another one of these. Didn't you see

11:19

what I did with the last one? Like,

11:22

I made a bunch of mistakes and like, who

11:24

cares? Giving you a brand new one. So I love

11:26

to get up really early at dawn on New

11:28

Year's Day. And I go for a walk in the

11:30

woods. And the first animal that I see, the

11:32

first wild animal that I see is my totem for

11:34

the year, is my spirit animal for the year. And

11:37

then I go home and look up what that animal means.

11:39

And then I just try to keep that with me for the

11:41

year. Like, this is the energy that you need to bring

11:43

to this year. It's my favorite homemade. Wow. Yeah.

11:46

I saw a fox once that was the best. I

11:49

was like because you're in Foxy obviously

11:51

live in a wood near a wood.

11:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess you could

11:55

make it up some other way to

11:57

pigeon subway rat. I got to be

11:59

careful in an early but but I

12:01

I love like and I got this

12:03

idea my friend Darcy and I talk

12:05

about this all the time about how

12:08

if if the if the religious ceremonies

12:10

that were handed down to you are

12:12

working for you. You can make up

12:14

your own you can invent. spiritual passage

12:16

ceremonies. She did this one

12:18

ceremony where she was really in this

12:20

sort of hostile enmeshment with her mother

12:22

her whole life and this very

12:24

tricky relationship. And one day she just

12:26

lit a candle and she just had

12:28

these two candles and she had

12:30

this one candle here and one candle

12:32

here and she said, she

12:35

lit them both from the center candle like

12:37

this. And she said, this is my

12:39

mother and this is me. Two

12:41

separate flames. Right

12:43

like until then we've been this one

12:45

candle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is her

12:48

This is me and she blew out

12:50

the center one and she just put

12:52

them on her mantelpiece and she just

12:54

meditated on that two different souls and

12:56

She said it was this huge turning

12:58

point in her life and she just

13:00

made that up. Oh, you know like

13:02

I'm gonna change the way I feel

13:04

about the flame that is me and

13:06

my mother and I'm gonna do that

13:08

on my own terms she didn't need

13:10

a to organize that for her.

13:13

She just did that on her own

13:15

and it shifted something in her, made

13:17

it better, made it

13:19

real, put it in tangible forms. Then,

13:41

the exclusive heel pillow keeps your

13:43

foot comfy and secure. Not

13:45

only are they comfortable and easy, but

13:47

Slippans also look great. Skechers have

13:49

Slippans for the whole family. Men,

13:51

women, and kids. Slippans even

13:54

come in sandals. Perfect for the

13:56

summer. Slippans have features like

13:58

Skechers, air -cooled memory foam, and

14:00

fan -favorite fits like Arch Fit,

14:02

Relax Fit, Wide Fit, and more.

14:04

Once you try hands -free Skechers Slippans,

14:06

you'll never want to go back.

14:08

They're just that amazing. Check them

14:10

out at Skechers.com, a Skechers store,

14:12

or wherever stylish footwear is sold.

14:15

You can find Skechers at

14:17

Skechers.com slash Supersoul or Skechers.com

14:19

with the promo code Supersoul.

14:21

Valid for 20 % off site

14:23

-wide. Standard exclusions apply. Valid

14:26

March 5th, 2025 through

14:28

May 30th, 2025. One

14:31

of the hardest parts about B2B marketing

14:33

is reaching the right audience. So

14:36

when you want to reach the right professionals,

14:38

use LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn has grown to

14:40

a network of over one billion professionals, and

14:42

that's where it stands apart from other ad buys. You

14:45

can target your buyers by

14:47

job title, industry, company, role, seniority,

14:49

skills, company revenue, all the

14:52

professionals you need to reach in

14:54

one place. Stop wasting

14:56

budget on the wrong audience and

14:58

start targeting the right professionals

15:00

only on LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn will

15:02

even give you a $100

15:04

credit on your next campaign so

15:06

you can try it yourself.

15:09

Just go to linkedin.com slash plan.

15:11

That's linkedin.com slash plan. Terms

15:13

and conditions apply only on LinkedIn

15:15

ads. The

15:20

Brazilian man Elizabeth called Felipe

15:22

and eat pray love is

15:24

now her husband. His real

15:26

name is Jose. Both

15:28

vowed they would never marry

15:30

again, but fate intervened in

15:33

the form of U .S.

15:35

immigration. The couple had

15:37

to marry legally, or Jose would not

15:39

be allowed in the country again. The

15:41

pair are lifelong, passionate

15:43

travelers. They own a shop

15:46

called Two Buttons, filled with exotic

15:48

treasures from around the world. Do

15:50

you feel that you are a better partner

15:52

now in marriage than you were? God, yes.

15:54

Obviously, you would have to be. Because you're

15:56

in a marriage lane what I was so

15:58

bad I was so bad at and I

16:00

always say to people my husband always jokes

16:02

people should only have second marriage. But

16:07

I you know I I say I

16:09

have a happier marriage, but I'm a better

16:11

I'm a better spouse I get the

16:13

terms of it more than I do. I

16:15

love where you say you say any

16:17

pre love that people think a soulmate is

16:19

your perfect fit and that's what everyone

16:21

wants but a true soulmate is a mirror.

16:23

The person who shows you everything that's

16:25

holding you back person who brings you to

16:27

your own attention. Love that. So you

16:29

can change your life. True soulmate is probably

16:31

the most important person you will ever

16:33

meet because they tear down your walls and

16:35

smack you awake. But you might

16:37

not want to marry them. And

16:39

that quote is actually from my friend

16:42

Richard from Texas because he told me about

16:44

somebody who I had lost who I

16:46

thought was my soulmate. And he said he

16:48

probably was. But you don't understand what

16:50

a soulmate is. You think it's all roses

16:52

and happiness. A soulmate is

16:54

like somebody who changes you. And then

16:56

sometimes they have to leave because the

16:58

intensity of the relationship is so much

17:00

that you can't actually have a stable.

17:03

Yeah. Like your partner is something

17:05

else, you know, like a spouse,

17:07

a husband, a partner, like that's

17:09

your friend, you know, like your partner. Yeah.

17:11

Like my husband is my best. friend

17:13

and and he's not the mirror that holds

17:15

up my flaws. He's just the guy who's

17:17

like you're terrific. I

17:20

think you're terrific. How can we be

17:22

nice to each other today. You know

17:24

it is a very it's like not

17:26

a high tension high by it's just

17:28

simple. Yeah, showing up for each other.

17:31

I like having a cup of coffee with you in

17:33

the morning. Thank you for being my champion. So

17:35

yeah, I think people got the

17:37

soulmate thing confused. Yes. Because

17:39

they get all fired up by somebody, and then

17:41

they're like, oh, we're supposed to be together forever,

17:44

and it might not necessarily be the case. Whatever

17:46

they fired up in you, you might have needed

17:48

fired up, and then you might need them to

17:50

go so that you can go on your journey

17:52

different than you were. So what advice would you

17:54

give your younger self? There is absolutely no advice

17:56

that I could have given my younger self that

17:58

I would have listened to when I was younger.

18:00

Really? Yep. I was

18:02

surrounded by all the grace and wisdom in the world,

18:04

and I was just like, no, I got this. which

18:07

I think is maybe the definition of

18:09

youth. But if I were to have listened,

18:11

which is a big... I would have

18:14

to have been a completely different person than

18:16

who I was. I would

18:18

have said avoid romantic entanglements

18:20

in your youth and focus on

18:22

yourself. I spent so much

18:24

time, my God, over the amount of

18:26

hours of time I spent with boys and

18:28

men that I could have been... focusing

18:30

on yourself I could speak fluent Mandarin now

18:32

in the hours that I spent in

18:34

my adolescence with that boy friend but you

18:36

wouldn't have listened never ever ever and

18:38

I would say that's the biggest regret of

18:40

my life is that I didn't and

18:42

you know I'm not going to like beat

18:44

myself up because it is what it

18:46

is and I'm here and it's great you

18:48

know it made me who I am

18:50

that but I wish that I had spent

18:52

those youthful years just. feeding

18:54

this mind. And when I wrote Committed and Learned All

18:56

About Marriage, when people say to me, what's the

18:59

secret to a happy marriage? First of all, I always

19:01

say there isn't one because we're really bad at

19:03

keeping secrets. And if there was one, it would have

19:05

leaked already and everybody would have a happy marriage.

19:07

So obviously there is a one. But the closest thing

19:09

that there is, is weight. The

19:11

happiest marriages are the marriages that happen later in

19:13

life. The longer you wait to choose your

19:15

partner, the happier your marriage is going to be.

19:17

And it makes sense. We make better decisions

19:19

as we get older about everything. Liz

19:22

Gilbert, are you having the life you

19:24

want right now? I totally am. I

19:26

totally am. And I'm also learning

19:28

to not be afraid of the

19:30

fact that I'm so happy. You

19:33

know, this is something that Prené Brown

19:35

talks about. Yes. It's about, like, the fear

19:37

reflex that you get. It's almost

19:39

like... Watching your kid sleep.

19:41

Yeah. Like, oh, my God, I'm

19:43

so happy. Is something gonna happen to them?

19:45

Yeah. People will warn you against saying that

19:47

you're happy, as though it summons the devil.

19:49

You know, like they'll be like, don't

19:51

say that out loud. You know, like you're just tempting fate.

19:54

And I'm like, you know what? No, no, no. No,

19:56

I am enjoying this

19:59

grace and this gratitude.

20:01

And I, look,

20:03

I've been around. I know things can change. But

20:06

they're not changing right now. I know

20:08

trouble can come to you at any time.

20:10

But I'm not walking around calling its

20:12

name. You know what I mean? When

20:14

trouble wants to find you, it knows where I live,

20:16

it'll come and knock on my door. But I'm not

20:18

going to walk around looking for it around every corner

20:21

when things are so good. I'm

20:23

just going to be grateful, simply grateful that

20:25

it's good. And as long as I'm

20:27

allowed to have it be good, then it's good. And

20:29

when it gets bad again, all I can

20:31

hope is that I'll cope with it with

20:33

dignity, with the dignity that I've learned along

20:35

my path. And I'm not going to

20:37

start practicing for that now. Just when it

20:39

comes. We'll face it. And

20:41

until I say, ride the wave. Ride

20:43

the wave. Ride the wave. When it

20:45

changes, it changes. And if you

20:48

believe in your own dignity... And it will change.

20:50

Oh, my God, it will. Yeah, that is

20:52

called life. You know, that's how it is. And

20:54

one of my monks in India used to

20:56

say, if you don't like chaos, you chose the

20:58

wrong planet to be born on. Because that's

21:00

the contract. Yeah. But your own dignity, your

21:03

own grace, your own gratitude,

21:05

you can keep that through everything if

21:07

you work hard enough to. And the

21:09

rest of it is just chatter. Do

21:11

you think, though, you know, we were talking earlier

21:13

about the dark night of the soul. Everybody has

21:15

to go through one. Do you think

21:18

that we can learn as much from our joy? I

21:20

like to think so, but the

21:22

things that have shaped me the

21:25

most so far in my life

21:27

are the failures and the mistakes

21:29

and the disasters. But here's what's

21:31

a very important thing to recognize.

21:34

Failure, disaster, shame, suffering,

21:36

and pain. Do not

21:38

necessarily make you a better

21:40

person unless you participate in

21:42

turning it into something. That's

21:44

right. Good. What was your

21:46

quote about suffering? Never waste

21:48

your suffering. Suffering

21:50

without catharsis is nothing but wasted pain. So

21:53

this I learned from a friend of mine

21:55

who was a paraplegic, who had a life

21:57

of terrible accidents and trauma, an incredibly brilliant

21:59

graceful man named Jim McLaren, and he told

22:01

me that. I met Jim

22:03

McLaren on the Oprah Show, a former

22:05

college athlete and aspiring actor. Jim

22:08

suffered two devastating accidents and

22:10

was paralyzed from the chest

22:12

down. Jim passed away

22:14

in 2010. He said, people

22:16

come up to him and they say, oh, you must

22:18

have become so wise because of all your suffering. And

22:21

he's like, there's a lot of people who suffered. It's still just

22:23

as stupid as that. I

22:25

chose to take that

22:27

and to... my power, my

22:29

thinking, my force, my

22:31

wisdom to turn my suffering

22:34

into grace. Otherwise, it's

22:36

just wasted pain. You're

22:38

just suffering for nothing. If you don't transform

22:40

from it, and that's your job, if you

22:42

don't transform from your pain, then it was

22:44

for nothing. You just

22:46

suffered for no reason whatsoever. And

22:48

so... So I try not

22:50

to waste my suffering. When

22:53

bad things happen, I'm like, what can we grow

22:55

from this? I try to get on as fast as

22:57

possible. do. I do too. What is this here

22:59

to teach me? And what did I do to make

23:01

this happen is the second one. Yeah. So that

23:03

I don't get stuck in blame, blame, blame. Yeah. Do

23:05

you learn from the choice, though? Sometimes

23:08

it takes a while. I try to. I try

23:10

to. I mean, I try to really reconstruct like a

23:12

crime scene. What was my part in

23:14

this? Because I

23:16

know there was one. It

23:18

didn't just happen out of nowhere. That's right. If

23:20

I was there and part of it,

23:22

then I'm part of it. Yeah. How

23:25

do you become more connected to yourself

23:27

and the world around you if you have

23:29

ADHD and don't even know? Climbing

23:31

the Walls is a podcast

23:33

that investigates why ADHD diagnosis were

23:35

missed among women and girls

23:38

for so long and how this

23:40

has impacted women's mental health. Host

23:42

and science journalist Danielle

23:44

Elliott asks, why women? Why

23:46

now? You'll hear from

23:48

experts on ADHD and women who have

23:51

lived through it. a

23:55

nonprofit dedicated to supporting

23:57

people with learning differences like

24:00

ADHD and dyslexia. To

24:02

listen to Climbing the Walls,

24:04

search for Climbing the Walls in

24:06

your podcast app. That's Climbing the

24:08

Walls. Spring

24:10

celebrations are in full swing, and

24:12

with Mother's Day just three weeks away,

24:14

now's the time to shop Macy's

24:17

friends and family event. Get

24:19

up to an extra 30 % off

24:21

your favorite brands and 50 %

24:23

off beauty. Just use promo code

24:25

friend. Find perfect gifts and

24:27

fresh spring styles from Steve

24:29

Madden, Clinique, and more. Think lightweight

24:31

knits, midi dresses, and timeless

24:33

jewelry. But hurry, this event

24:35

ends May 4th. Shop now

24:38

at Macy's.com or in store. Exclusion

24:40

supply. You talk

24:42

about how after the dark night of

24:44

the soul, the hero discovers talent and

24:46

powers that she never knew she had.

24:48

What did you discover that you never

24:50

knew you had? That I can take

24:52

care of myself completely. I got

24:54

my own back, you know, that

24:57

I can take care of

24:59

myself. And I don't just mean

25:01

financially, I mean emotionally, that

25:03

I know that I became a responsible

25:05

enough adult to be allowed to be alone

25:07

with the child who is inside of

25:09

me. Like, I can take care of you.

25:11

I'm not gonna... And you know that

25:13

no matter what, you're gonna be all right.

25:15

I'm gonna be all right. That's what

25:17

the journey is, isn't it? I'm the grown

25:19

-up now, you know? Like, that's really what

25:21

it is. You know, all the myths

25:24

and all those stories of Hero's Journey, the

25:26

hero returns home in the end wiser

25:28

than before. And isn't that ultimately what the

25:30

wisdom is that I can conquer, can

25:32

take care of myself? Yeah, and actually, that's

25:34

the really... I neglect to mention this

25:36

sometimes, but the real final chapter of the

25:38

Hero's Journey... climax is the battle, right?

25:40

The great battle where you lose the fear

25:42

and you become the hero. But

25:44

the end of this story is you come

25:46

back home and you share what you learned. And

25:49

if you don't do that, then

25:51

you don't really get the entire

25:53

journey, right? So that's your

25:55

obligation, too, is, you know, and this is why

25:57

I always say to people, going on your hero's

25:59

journey is not just something that you do for

26:01

you, it's a public service. Because what you bring

26:03

back from that to your community, to your family

26:05

will change and uplift them. And they need that,

26:07

so they need you to go be the hero,

26:09

so that you can come back and show them

26:11

everything that you learned. What is the

26:14

lesson that you have learned? What

26:16

is the lesson that you most want

26:18

to offer? It

26:20

comes not from me, but from the

26:22

best articulation of this that I've

26:24

ever heard, which is 4 ,000 years

26:26

old, from the Bhagavad Gita, the great

26:28

Indian epic, where the hero is

26:30

told by the gods, it

26:33

is better to live your

26:35

own destiny imperfectly. than to live

26:37

a perfect imitation of somebody

26:39

else's life. And that

26:41

to me is what empowered

26:43

me finally to go and

26:46

chart my own course, was

26:48

that I was living a

26:50

really beautifully enacted imitation of

26:52

a life that was not

26:54

mine, and it was

26:56

killing me, and it looked great.

26:59

It was a gorgeous facsimile

27:01

of somebody else's dream

27:04

of a perfect life. But

27:06

not mine. You

27:08

started out talking about quests. I

27:10

think what's important for people to know

27:12

is that you don't have to be the

27:14

big, you know, riding on an elephant in

27:16

India quest. Right. You talk about miniature quests.

27:19

Yeah, mini quests. Fun size. Yes. Yes. Fun

27:21

size. Snackable quests. Sometimes you

27:24

have to shape the quest or the reality of your

27:26

life. You know, and one of the things that

27:28

I talk about is when I was going through my divorce and

27:30

I was stuck in this legal proceeding and I had no

27:32

money and I had no freedom. I

27:34

made myself have these mini -quests.

27:37

I wanted the big one, you know, what

27:39

ultimately became Eat, Pray, Love, but I didn't have the liberty

27:41

to go do that. I don't have the money to go

27:43

do that. I was stuck in the situation that I had

27:45

to see through. And so I

27:47

would give myself challenges, you know?

27:49

Like, your challenge today is to go

27:51

out in this world when you're full of

27:53

resentment and full of anger and full of, like,

27:55

stuckness. You need to go out there and

27:57

you need to find something beautiful. I

27:59

need to experience it and feel it and

28:01

wake yourself up and... excite yourself, and you're not

28:03

allowed to come home until you've done that. That's

28:06

a quest. You know,

28:08

as long as it takes, you go. Your

28:10

quest today is to make a piece of

28:12

art. I'm not even an artist, but

28:15

go get some materials and make

28:17

a piece of art that expresses your

28:19

journey so far in life. I

28:21

remember going the store and buying all these

28:24

index cards and all this tissue paper of

28:26

different colors and just... an index card series

28:28

of whatever year of my life has been

28:30

about up until now so that I could

28:32

lay it out on the floor and see

28:34

it in like Primitive drawings like oh, that's

28:36

the year this that's the year I learned

28:38

this and now you're in this year What's

28:41

it gonna be next year? That's

28:43

a quest, you know a quest for comprehension

28:45

a quest for perspective No, I love the

28:47

day that you had said That the voice

28:49

had said to you to go out and

28:51

find something beautiful and you come away with

28:53

you walk out and you see these You

28:55

know, elephants walking down the street. my God.

28:57

That was the best mini -quest ever. Yeah.

28:59

Because I was at the post office, coming

29:01

home from divorce court, had to mail something

29:03

full of despair, full of resentment, full of

29:05

frustration. All I wanted to do was go

29:08

home and cry. And somehow

29:10

this voice in the post office came to

29:12

me and said, you need to aim a

29:14

little higher than all I want to do is go home and cry. So

29:16

I created this mini -quest. I didn't let myself

29:18

leave the post office until I had my mini -quest. And

29:21

the mini -quest was that very thing. You must go

29:23

out in this world today. And you must find

29:25

something beautiful. In New York City, a city you don't

29:27

even want to be in right now, that you

29:29

feel stuck in and trapped. And I

29:31

marched out of there, like, ready to, am I

29:34

gonna march up these streets all day of my feet?

29:36

Please, now, Karen, I'm gonna walk. There

29:38

was something beautiful in this stupid city, know, and

29:40

I threw open the doors of the post

29:42

office, and there, walking right in

29:44

front of me down 7th Avenue, were

29:46

five elephants. Five elephants,

29:48

right there, with showgirls with

29:50

spangled costumes on top, waving at

29:52

me. took me

29:54

two steps out of the post office

29:56

before I realized that quest. And

30:00

there was a reason the elephants were there.

30:02

The circus was in town across the street.

30:04

But on that particular date, they were your

30:06

elephants. They were my elephants because I made

30:08

the challenge to myself to go find something

30:10

magnificent. So do you work

30:12

every day? Do you have like a

30:14

spiritual practice? You know

30:16

what? Not really. I gotta

30:18

be very honest. Like, because people come to me

30:20

for like meditation advice and I'm always like... meditated

30:22

like five times last year. You know, like

30:24

I just can't lie because I think it's disingenuous.

30:26

I was never good at it. I wasn't good

30:28

at it when I was in India and I

30:31

was in an ashram and they were and

30:33

I was doing it like with the masters I

30:35

wasn't good at it and by good at it

30:37

I just mean being able to be still for

30:39

long periods of time. hard for me, you

30:41

know. And I loved being at the ashram but

30:43

I remember the day that I realized when I

30:45

was there I'm not made to be a monk.

30:48

Like I wasn't put on this earth to be.

30:50

I'm not a minister. I'm not I was

30:52

made to live in the world and to find

30:54

my grace in the world, in the day,

30:56

in the interaction with every human being that I

30:58

meet. Because I remember when I was at

31:00

that ashram, this one woman left. She'd been living

31:02

there for 10 years in meditation every day. Yeah,

31:05

yeah, yeah. She left to come home to

31:07

Chicago, actually, to a family wedding. She came back

31:09

all bent and freaked and twisted, and she

31:11

was like, oh, my God, I lost my center.

31:13

The world's so crazy. There's so much aggression.

31:15

My family's so insane. I'm so happy to be

31:17

back here. And I thought, if

31:19

your spiritual practice Doesn't make

31:21

it easier for you to be in

31:24

the world to be in the world

31:26

It's not serving you because where you

31:28

need it isn't in the meditation cave.

31:30

It's in the grocery line. It's in

31:32

the Family dinner. It's in the argument

31:34

with you're not coming up for the

31:36

holidays Yes, it's in all the families

31:38

are yes, you know And so I

31:40

honestly feel like I used to feel

31:42

guilty that I didn't have a more

31:44

rigorous something recognizable as a spiritual practice

31:46

But I thought no my spiritual practice is

31:49

to bring the light into

31:51

every encounter that I have as

31:53

much as I can. And

31:55

to break the chain of discord

31:58

wherever I can. And to

32:00

just bring the light, always. And

32:02

even to me when I'm alone, my job

32:04

is to bring the light to me. To

32:06

bring light to my husband when we're together. To bring

32:08

the light to 10 ,000 people in the stadium when

32:10

we're there. That's what

32:12

you do, Liz. That's what I feel from

32:14

you. I feel that from you. Just sitting

32:16

in the room by yourself, eating a slice

32:19

of watermelon. We're

32:21

going to bring the light. We're going to get

32:23

the pineapple. going to bring the light. to eat the

32:25

pineapple. The thing that I love the most in

32:27

the years that I was doing the Oprah Show. Love

32:29

doing the show, sitting here on the stage.

32:31

But after every show, I would have an after

32:34

show. I remember the

32:36

afternoon and we would sit and we would

32:38

talk to people who come from all

32:40

over the country was like my own

32:42

focus group with people just really like

32:44

vibing with people. But every day I would

32:46

ask people what makes you happy. What

32:50

do you really want and they

32:52

first would say I want to be

32:55

happy. Just want to be happy.

32:57

What do you want what do you look.

32:59

I want to be happy and you

33:01

take what make what is that. And they

33:03

say, well, if my kids are happy,

33:05

all right, so then you get that. Then

33:07

what is that? So

33:09

how do you, what would

33:12

you say to women who

33:14

are men too, who you

33:16

kill men, who just want

33:18

to feel what you're feeling

33:20

right now? Want

33:22

to feel what you're feeling right now?

33:24

This seems in a really weird way, like

33:26

a hard and tough answer. But

33:28

this is what it's come down to

33:30

for me. And again, like... Everybody got their

33:32

own path. No

33:34

happiness without self -accountability. And

33:37

self -accountability just feels like it's like

33:39

a chore in a way, like something

33:41

that your parents would say to you.

33:43

You have to be accountable for, you

33:45

know? And may I interrupt here? The

33:47

most important thing I think you say,

33:49

and you're saying on the tour, is

33:51

that when you were having your breakdown

33:53

in the bathroom, you really wanted things

33:55

to change without... kind of problem or

33:57

messing up anything. I have

33:59

to do anything. I just want it all

34:02

to change. all to change. No disruption. Certainly

34:05

no consequences. Don't ask

34:07

me to give up anything. Just change

34:09

all this. It

34:11

doesn't work that way. Self

34:13

accountability. And I have to say that

34:16

the more self accountable I become,

34:18

and I'm not fully self accountable yet,

34:20

because I still do it. get

34:23

really mad and blame people and be like, carry

34:25

resentments. There's still people that I am. Like, I

34:27

say I forgive them, but I haven't really. Like,

34:29

I'm still working on it, but I'll tell you

34:31

this. That is my goal. It's

34:33

ultimate 100 %

34:35

self -accountability. Who is in charge of

34:37

you? Who is in charge of you?

34:39

Who are you gonna blame your life on today? Is a

34:41

question that I ask myself sometimes when I wake up at

34:44

a bad mood, right? Who are you gonna blame your life on

34:46

today, Liz? Whose fault is it? Oh!

34:50

You're the boss again. Okay. Who's in

34:52

charge of you? Because there's

34:55

only weakness to be had. Only

34:57

weakness to be had. And waiting

34:59

for somebody to change it for you.

35:01

And waiting for external circumstances to

35:03

alter. And waiting to win the

35:05

lottery. And waiting for the right man

35:07

to come along. And waiting

35:09

for times to get better. And waiting

35:11

for something to change at your job. It

35:14

is the weakest position you can

35:16

stand in. And my strength of self

35:18

-accountability brings me higher level of joy

35:20

than anything else in the world

35:22

because there's there's such freedom in it.

35:25

You know, like it's just

35:28

this huge expansive sense of

35:30

I'm in charge of this

35:32

person. Whatever happens out there

35:34

is none of my business. I'm

35:37

in charge of this soul that

35:39

was given to me to take

35:41

care of and I accept 100

35:43

% accountability for this soul. It's

35:45

just a joy to talk to

35:47

you. Thank you.

35:49

Thank you Oprah for everything and

35:51

all the light that you bring

35:53

to us all wasn't that delightful.

36:00

Conversations, the podcast, you

36:02

can follow Super Soul on Don't

36:20

just ride the index,

36:22

seek to outperform it with

36:24

FELC, the Fidelity Enhanced

36:26

Large Capcore ETF. Unlike

36:28

passive ETFs, FELC is run by

36:30

a team of experts to adapt

36:32

to market conditions and pursue upside

36:34

potential wherever it's hiding. And while

36:36

you get the potential outperformance of

36:38

an actively managed fund, you can

36:40

still buy and sell it on

36:43

your terms, just like any other

36:45

ETF. Discover FELC,

36:47

the Fidelity Enhanced Large Capcore

36:49

ETF, part of Fidelity's suite of

36:51

active ETFs. Learn more

36:53

at Fidelity.com slash FELC.

36:56

Before investing in any exchange -traded

36:58

fund, you should consider its investment

37:00

objectives, risks, charges, and expenses. Contact

37:02

Fidelity for a prospectus and offering circular,

37:04

or if available, a summary prospectus

37:06

containing this information. Read it carefully.

37:08

While active ETFs offer the potential

37:10

to outperform an index, these products

37:12

may more significantly trail an index

37:14

as compared with passive ETFs. Fidelity

37:16

Brokerage Services LLC, member NYSC SIPC. It

37:26

makes its appearance at the dinner party,

37:28

right when the night could go either

37:30

way between nice evening and legendary. Served

37:33

in eight perfect stoneware

37:35

bowls to the sounds of

37:37

circa 1950 Bossa Nova. Seconds,

37:40

a good debate, and an

37:42

impromptu round of never -have -I -ever

37:44

follow. It's gonna be

37:46

a late one, the essential

37:48

evening extender made possible with

37:50

Vitamix.