0:00

Be repulsed by distractions. And I And

0:02

I use the word repulsed deliberately

0:04

because there's a just a void. to

0:06

We don't want to just avoid

0:08

distractions. We We want to be repulsed

0:10

by them. You've already started thinking

0:12

about your dreams and objectives. and You know

0:14

what skill know you need to develop. you

0:16

You're gonna put the reps in and now

0:18

you just need to be repulsed by

0:20

anything that keeps you from

0:22

achieving those dreams and desires. Those Those are

0:24

things that you a a man will

0:27

not engage in. That's a decision that

0:29

you need to make. And the beautiful

0:31

thing is that it is just a

0:33

decision. is just a decision. You're a man of action.

0:35

You live life to the fullest. Embrace

0:37

your fears your boldly charge your own

0:39

path when life knocks you down. When You

0:41

get back up down, more

0:43

time, up time. You are not

0:46

easily deterred or defeated, rugged,

0:48

defeated, or strong. This is

0:50

your life. your is who you are. you

0:52

This is who you will you will the

0:54

end of the day. of And after

0:56

all is said and done, said you can

0:58

call yourself call yourself a man. One

1:01

of a man's defining characteristics

1:03

is his ability to stay

1:05

calm, not just when it's

1:08

easier, convenient, but in the

1:10

face of catastrophe but hardship of

1:12

struggle and emotions and and heated even

1:14

situations. It's our job to

1:16

be calm, to be cool,

1:18

to be collected, to help

1:21

lead people, to help get

1:23

people to safety, to help

1:25

navigate a difficult conversation or

1:27

a romantic fight that you

1:29

may get into or an upset customer

1:31

a client, it's our ability to stay

1:33

calm in those moments that are

1:35

going to help us get to

1:37

a place that we want to

1:40

be and also help serve other

1:42

people. help serve other I've seen

1:44

so many men. I've seen so many

1:46

men stumble, temper tantrums like a

1:48

child that doesn't get the

1:50

toy at the grocery store

1:52

at the grocery store and shout and

1:54

swear and swear and... just about every

1:56

other repulsive behavior that you

1:58

could imagine imagine because he's. not calm and

2:01

he's allowing his emotions to

2:03

dictate. his reaction instead

2:05

of his response. Now, don't

2:07

get me wrong. I'm not

2:09

saying that you shouldn't have emotions. I'm

2:11

not saying that you shouldn't feel

2:13

those emotions. I'm saying that it's our

2:15

job to regulate our emotions in

2:17

order to produce effective outcomes for ourselves.

2:20

and for the people we care about and

2:22

are serving. Today, I'm gonna share with you

2:24

eight tips that you can use to

2:26

keep yourself calm. Some of them are mindset,

2:28

some of them are skill sets. Either

2:31

way, we have to practice these things, we

2:33

have to embrace these things because I'll

2:35

tell you what, this is the type of

2:37

man we wanna be. And I know

2:39

that because when we look at heroes and

2:41

we look at people that we aspire

2:43

to be like, those are men who are

2:45

calm under pressure. They're cool, they have

2:47

a certain demeanor

2:50

about them, a certain confidence or charm.

2:52

A lot of people call this the

2:54

X factor and a lot of it

2:56

comes from being confident which is derived

2:58

from competency. We'll talk a little bit

3:00

about that. But I think

3:02

it's safe to say that all

3:04

of us would like to be

3:06

more calm, whether it's something as

3:09

simple as a social media argument

3:11

or an argument with your wife

3:13

to... to potentially dangerous

3:15

active shooter type situation, which

3:17

might be a real possibility

3:19

for some of us who

3:21

are engaged in this order

3:23

of man movement. So let's

3:25

talk about it. Number one

3:28

is mindset, know your role.

3:30

and lead well, right?

3:32

job as a man to reiterate

3:34

a little bit of what I

3:36

just said is in fact, to

3:38

lead other people. Our motto, which

3:40

is on my hat and over

3:42

my shoulder here on this crest,

3:44

is to protect, provide, and preside.

3:46

All of those have an element

3:48

of leadership and service to other

3:50

people. You cannot do that effectively

3:52

when you're scatterbrained, when there's chaos

3:54

going on, when you're confused, when

3:57

you're frustrated, when you're letting your

3:59

emotions dictate. your reaction, it's impossible

4:01

for you to lead well. to lead

4:03

We make dumb decisions, we say stupid

4:05

things that we don't mean, things we

4:07

end up becoming our own worst

4:09

enemy. our own worst you notice

4:11

yourself getting frustrated or

4:13

getting heated or not calm.

4:16

or not calm, what I would say

4:18

first and foremost is make a decision

4:20

a only now, but in the moment. but

4:22

in the moment to be calm, to

4:24

to have clarity as to what your

4:26

purpose is is. know that you have

4:28

to get yourself into a better

4:30

situation. And by the way, it only serves

4:32

in only serves in your best interest

4:34

to be calm. What good does it

4:36

do to yell at a customer they upset

4:38

they upset you? it do to good does

4:41

it do to get into an

4:43

unnecessary fight with your wife it your

4:45

children? our All it does is

4:47

undermine our credibility and authority with those

4:49

individuals and influence And we And we certainly

4:51

don't wanna do that. want to do that.

4:53

Number two. Identify your your

4:55

dreams and your

4:57

objectives. know what those If you

4:59

don't know what those dreams are, if you

5:01

don't know what your goals are, it's

5:03

very easy for us as men to get

5:05

tossed. the winds of with the other

5:08

of culture and other a

5:10

desires. We had a

5:12

really good conversation in our It's today.

5:14

It's called the Iron Council, if

5:16

you're not familiar with it. with

5:18

we were talking about living your

5:20

life by default versus living your

5:22

life by design. design. Unfortunately, most men,

5:24

and maybe even some of you

5:27

listening, are just doing things because it's

5:29

the default. It's how you were

5:31

raised. It's the scripts that you the way

5:33

It's the way that you saw

5:35

how to behave when you were a

5:37

child. it's a The job, maybe it's

5:39

a family business and it's not what

5:41

what you want to do. The the

5:44

friends in your life, the guys that

5:46

you went to high school with, or the

5:48

guy who happens to work in the

5:50

cubicle next to you, or happens to be

5:52

your neighbor, but you really haven't given

5:54

much consideration about what that is. is. Your Your

5:56

marriage is not amazing. It's not really

5:58

what you want. you It it a lot. like

6:00

living with a potential roommate rather

6:02

than a romantic partner. And

6:04

I think part of that is the drift of

6:06

life. Life

6:09

just happens. We're busy. We

6:12

get promotions and we get requests

6:14

for our time and we get

6:16

even depressed and anxious at times

6:18

and things start slipping through the

6:20

cracks. And when they

6:22

do, you know that you're not living

6:24

by design, you're living by default. spend

6:27

some time, especially this time of year, this is a

6:29

perfect time to do it, to begin to think about,

6:31

is this the kind of life that I want? When

6:35

I look at my marriage, are we happy?

6:37

Are we fulfilled? Are we meeting each other's

6:39

needs and desires and hopes and dreams? Are

6:41

we building a life together? Are we raising

6:43

our kids the way we want to raise

6:45

them? When it

6:47

comes to your business, are you making the kind

6:49

of money that you want? Is there upward

6:51

mobility? Do you have autonomy with what you do

6:53

on a daily basis? Does it excite you?

6:55

Is it fulfilling? Do you feel like you're actually

6:57

serving people and making a difference in the

6:59

world? And look, some of these things

7:01

you're not gonna be able to change overnight, but. you

7:04

can change those through hard work

7:06

and effort over a consistent period of

7:08

time. If you look in

7:10

the mirror and you're not happy with

7:13

the size of your arms or the little

7:15

bit of fat that's accumulated around the

7:17

midsection or maybe you're. out

7:19

of breath when you walk

7:21

up one flight of stairs. Maybe

7:23

your eating habits are bonbons, cheetos

7:26

and Doritos

7:28

and cereal and King

7:32

and all the other food that you know

7:34

is not good for you and you Sometimes

7:36

you wonder why oh man, I always feel

7:38

sluggish. I feel tired. I feel gross and

7:40

you say you wonder why but we all

7:42

know that that's part of the reason What

7:45

are your objectives? When you think

7:47

about how you wanna lead your wife or

7:49

lead your kids or lead your community members, what

7:51

about your community? Are you dissatisfied with it?

7:53

Have you gone to city council meetings? Do you

7:55

sit on the school board? Have you ran

7:57

for political office? And...

8:00

If not, is that something that you

8:02

should consider? We have to spend more

8:04

time thinking about these things. Now, not

8:06

at the expense of doing. Some people

8:08

will do that. It's just constant pontification

8:10

over what they want, and they have

8:12

these things like 2025 is gonna be

8:14

my year, and yet they don't do

8:17

anything about it. So it's not enough

8:19

to think about it, but it's also

8:21

not enough just to act without a

8:23

whole lot of thought or intention behind

8:25

it. I've said in the past, I'm

8:27

gonna butcher this because it's been a

8:30

while since I've said this, but effort

8:32

without thought is useless, and

8:36

thought without effort

8:38

is worthless. So,

8:41

yeah, think about it. Identify what

8:43

you want. And if you want a

8:45

great resource, I've got two. We've

8:47

got our battle planner. This is the

8:49

tool that I use every single day

8:51

to map out my day, map

8:53

out my goals, my to -do list, to

8:55

check everything off, to hold myself

8:57

accountable to it. You can pick that

8:59

up at orderofman.com/battle planner, or if you

9:01

want a heightened version, not only the

9:03

battle planner, but you want accountability

9:05

and brotherhood with other men that are

9:08

gonna hold you accountable, that are gonna

9:10

help you identify what your goals and

9:12

dreams are, then join us inside

9:14

the Iron Council. It's open right now.

9:16

It's at orderofman.com/Iron Council. Very, very powerful

9:18

for, at this point, tens of

9:20

thousands of men who have banded with

9:22

us over time. Number three, build your

9:24

skill and get your reps. There's

9:27

a great quote, and I cannot remember for

9:29

the life of me who said it right

9:31

offhand, but we don't rise to the level

9:33

of our expectations. We fall to the level

9:35

of our training. You'll hear this, maybe you've

9:37

even said it. If

9:40

you see something go down

9:42

or some guy approaches you or

9:44

whatever it might be, you're

9:46

just gonna beat him down. You

9:48

go red and you're gonna

9:50

win this fight, although you have

9:52

no fighting experience, no skill

9:55

in that department at all. You

9:57

think that just because you're

9:59

mad, or you're a day, that

10:01

you're gonna be able to win in

10:03

a physical altercation. a physical You're not, you're

10:05

just not gonna perform You're to

10:07

what your expectation is, you're

10:09

gonna perform to what your standards

10:11

are. So to what you're thinking

10:13

about your goals and objectives, the

10:15

next step is to consider the

10:18

next skills do I need

10:20

that I'm currently lacking? I'm currently

10:23

Do I not possess I do I not

10:25

possess enough of? of? And I would focus I

10:27

would focus on a couple of key areas,

10:29

on your mental, as a secondary. emotional, finances and my and

10:31

spiritual health. last one is relationships, so family and friends. So

10:33

focus on your physical health as a secondary. physical

10:35

health, your relationships, and your mental, emotional, would focus

10:37

on my finances. and spiritual, and and my family

10:39

and friends? spiritual, and spiritual, and spiritual, and spiritual, and

10:41

spiritual, and that last one is and spiritual, so

10:43

family and friends. and spiritual, spiritual, and spiritual, spiritual,

10:45

finances, spiritual, your money, your wealth,

10:47

your prosperity being a man

10:49

of value, spiritual, your physical health,

10:51

your relationships spiritual, spiritual, your mental, emotional

10:53

and spiritual health. and spiritual, and spiritual,

10:56

and you can even break it down further

10:58

than that when it comes to your finances,

11:00

for example. for you probably ought to

11:02

consider what what you're missing at

11:04

work. missing at of guys get upset when, for

11:06

example, they get passed over for a

11:08

promotion. over for a I would be upset would be

11:10

but I think it's worthy of asking yourself

11:12

why exactly did I get passed over

11:14

for this promotion? this Most guys will say,

11:16

oh, it's office politics politics and, know, it's this

11:18

or that. And even if it is

11:20

office politics. office might be. might be. If If

11:22

you know that that's the case, then maybe you ought

11:24

to learn the game of politics in the office. of politics

11:26

know what it is, You so make it happen.

11:29

so make it Maybe it's that you lack the

11:31

ability to and so so they're not gonna put

11:33

you into a leadership position. a leadership

11:35

certain skills that you can learn and

11:37

need to learn in order to achieve in

11:39

order to and personally and then from there

11:42

it's just the reps for there, it's just the

11:44

we fall to the level of

11:46

our of our training, not not rise to the

11:48

level of of our expectations. So just have to

11:50

put in the in the reps. And when you do,

11:52

you do, to you're gonna notice that you're

11:54

a lot more calm. give you an example.

11:56

an example. I started

11:59

trading Jiu-Jitsu... and most In

12:01

fact, I would say

12:03

men who start training Jitsu feel this way.

12:07

It's weird to have another grown

12:09

man close in your space,

12:11

trying to manipulate your body and

12:13

hurt you in some way. It's

12:16

very awkward, it's very uncomfortable. Sometimes

12:19

you might get claustrophobic. You

12:21

know, you got somebody's arm

12:23

wrapped around or their shoulder

12:25

digging into your jugular or

12:27

chest just compressed on yours

12:29

or their knee right on

12:31

your sternum just pushing you

12:33

down into the dirt. It's

12:35

not comfortable. and when

12:37

you're not comfortable. What do

12:39

you do? You're flailing around, you're wild,

12:41

you're thrashing, you're doing crazy stuff, and

12:44

you end up, If you're training against

12:46

somebody who's got any level of

12:48

training, you end up getting. submitted.

12:51

Well, it's the same thing in life.

12:53

If If you are new to something,

12:55

you're gonna be chaotic, you're gonna be

12:57

frantic, you're not gonna know how to

13:00

conserve energy, you're gonna be highly inefficient,

13:02

highly ineffective, and you're

13:04

gonna kind look a little foolish. And that's

13:06

not bad. When we learn a new skill,

13:08

the risk of it is that we are

13:10

gonna look foolish for a while. But

13:12

the more you put in your reps, and again,

13:14

to go back to my analogy of Jiu

13:17

Jitsu, the more that you put in your reps,

13:20

that guy who's putting his knee right on your

13:22

sternum. isn't as big of a

13:24

threat to you anymore. Cause you've learned

13:26

how to handle it. You can breathe through

13:28

it. You can position yourself in a

13:30

different way. You can try to do a

13:32

reversal or a sweep. But there's things

13:34

that you can learn above and beyond just

13:36

flailing and floundering around like a fish

13:38

out of water. you

13:40

need to put in the reps and have

13:42

patience with yourself. I'm an

13:44

inpatient person. I know that about

13:46

myself. So I wanna be really

13:48

good at everything I do and

13:50

try. Whether it's

13:53

Jitsu or hunting.

13:55

or podcasting.

13:58

or speaking in front of an audience. or writing

14:00

a a book a pick-up game

14:02

of playing a pickup game of basketball

14:04

with my son. maybe In fact, maybe about

14:06

a month or two ago, is big my oldest son

14:08

is big into we have net we have a net

14:11

out here and he had a sticks and he's

14:13

like, dad, let's go, let's go I'm I'm like,

14:15

all right, let's go do it. go And he

14:17

taught me some things me he worked me over.

14:19

I wanted to be good, but what right

14:21

do I have to be good at using a

14:23

lacrosse stick when I've never in my entire

14:25

life picked one up? never in but we

14:27

expect that of ourselves. one up? It's crazy.

14:29

It takes It takes reps,

14:32

and boring and It's

14:34

boring. and grueling and you don't

14:36

grueling. But if you you don't want

14:38

to do it. success, But if you

14:40

wanna have success, then you need to do

14:42

it over and over and over and over

14:44

and over and over again. And when you have

14:46

the skill set, you and you

14:49

have the reps, will you will

14:51

gain competence And and competence

14:53

breeds confidence. And when and when you're

14:55

confident. And you can't manufacture confidence.

14:57

It's not something you just fabricate out

14:59

of thin air. is something you have

15:01

to build. It's something you have to

15:03

bravado, arrogance, excessive pride, can

15:05

you can manufacture that, but

15:07

you cannot manufacture confidence. But when

15:09

you have confidence, have you're a

15:12

lot more calm in certain

15:14

situations. situations. Take a into a

15:16

burning building. building. The first time you

15:18

do it, I I don't know what that's like,

15:20

but I imagine it is the scariest thing in

15:22

the world. the world. The 1,000 time

15:24

that time that you do it, the you have

15:26

the training, you've done it a bunch before, you

15:28

know what to expect. I'm not saying it's

15:31

without risk, but it's a little bit easier for

15:33

you to manage. That's because you have the

15:35

reps and the That's because you have the

15:37

reps and the skill set. repulsed

15:39

by distractions. by And

15:41

I used the word word

15:43

deliberately. deliberately because there's not

15:45

just just we don't want don't want to

15:47

just avoid distractions, we want to be

15:49

repulsed by them. You've already started thinking

15:51

about your dreams and objectives, and you

15:53

know what what you need to develop, you're

15:55

going to put the reps in, and

15:57

now you just need to be be rep.

16:00

by by anything that keeps

16:02

you from achieving those

16:04

dreams and desires Whether it's it's

16:06

vices like alcohol or drug

16:08

abuse or pornography.

16:11

or gambling, gambling vices, of

16:13

these vices, or it's

16:15

just... on doom -scrolling

16:17

on going through or going

16:19

through YouTube videos for hours

16:21

at a time or taking too

16:23

long in the bathroom because

16:25

you're playing. playing. I don't know, candy know, know, Crush

16:28

what is is it? escapes? Like, I'm

16:30

not saying you I'm not saying you shouldn't

16:32

have an outlet. be deliberate to

16:34

go back should be deliberate to go back to our

16:36

earlier point. that are you're doing things

16:38

that are not deliberate, but they're

16:41

distracting you your from achieving your goals

16:43

and objectives, don't just avoid them, be

16:45

repulsed by them. those are as a man will that

16:47

you as a man will not engage in.

16:49

That's a decision that you need to make.

16:51

And the beautiful thing is, is that it

16:53

is just a decision. It's It's

16:55

just deciding that I'm gonna be diligent,

16:58

that I'm gonna be I'm going to be By

17:00

the way, when I have good days like that. like

17:02

that, everything else gets better. if I'm

17:04

So if I'm at work I'm I'm

17:06

diligent about emails and following through my through on

17:08

my commitments and recording podcast connecting with

17:10

other people and doing networking, when

17:12

I'm done for the day and I'm

17:14

with my kids or with my

17:16

girlfriend, it's so much better. girlfriend, I'm not

17:18

frustrated. I'm not... distracted

17:21

with things from work. I'm not

17:23

preoccupied. I'm very present in the

17:25

moment in I was diligent and I

17:27

was diligent and dutiful. rid

17:29

of those distractions, be repulsed by those

17:31

distractions. Start to identify what they are

17:33

so you know and then get rid

17:35

of those things. so you know Number get rid

17:37

of those Know your triggers. five, know your

17:39

triggers. We all We all get anxious, we

17:42

all we all get antsy, all we all

17:44

get frustrated at times. times, we all want to fight

17:46

to fight to varying degrees and push and

17:48

kick and scream and shout. shout.

17:50

But But there's reasons. reasons. There's

17:52

for that. for that. What are they? You

17:54

know, You know, for a man, think for the most

17:56

part, disrespect is a huge

17:58

trigger. a huge trigger. You feel disrespected,

18:01

you're going going to go

18:03

fight -flight response. Because it because it

18:05

feels personal. You feel personally a great book

18:07

a great book called The Four Agreements. A

18:09

A lot of you have probably read

18:11

it. And one of them is of them

18:13

is, take anything personally. personally. Even if it's Even

18:15

if it's personal, you can choose whether or

18:17

not you decide to take it upon yourself

18:19

as fact. fact. It's not, It it might be

18:21

somebody's opinion. opinion. and maybe there's even some

18:24

accuracy to it. But if you take it

18:26

personally and operate from a reactionary

18:28

standpoint, a you're only gonna hurt yourself

18:30

and other people. you're only going

18:32

what those triggers are. and One

18:34

trigger for me is clutter

18:36

and chaos. One trigger for me I

18:38

have way too many things to do

18:40

throughout the day, things way too many

18:42

emails to get through, way

18:44

too much clutter and trash on my

18:46

desk. on my triggers me. triggers

18:49

I get mad, I get frustrated,

18:51

I get short, I I get

18:53

irritable. and I know And I know

18:55

that's trigger of mine, so I keep

18:57

my environment clean. My desk is

18:59

clean. I keep my office space clean

19:01

and organized. My truck, when I

19:03

get out, I throw the trash away

19:05

and I don't let trash accumulate

19:07

in there. I keep everything clutter keep everything

19:09

clutter free, that's a trigger of mine. a

19:11

trigger of mine. one is I'm

19:13

I'm busy. I think I already said

19:15

that said that just busy with with... after appointment

19:17

after appointment after appointment, back to back,

19:19

back to back, back to back. back back

19:21

it's infuriating to me because I don't

19:23

have any time to process what happened

19:26

in a previous meeting to what I

19:28

need to be prepared for in the

19:30

following. meeting and I'm aware of

19:32

that, I schedule not back to back.

19:34

If I have hour -long meetings, for

19:36

example. I schedule I don't do one from nine to I and then

19:38

10 to 11. I do one

19:40

from nine to 10 and then

19:42

10, 30 to ten noon. to noon. I

19:45

always always put a half an hour

19:47

buffer between my meetings. my and in

19:49

that time I can do whatever I want.

19:51

do whatever I break! Bathroom

19:54

break, follow on a few

19:56

emails that I need to catch up

19:58

on, I make a call or two.

20:00

a caller to. decompress, notes from maybe a podcast a

20:02

podcast that I did before I

20:04

have to jump on another one, maybe

20:06

prepare a little better for an

20:08

upcoming podcast. But that 30 minutes is

20:10

for me. me, not to fill to fill

20:12

with something specific to to evaluate

20:14

what needs to happen in that

20:16

moment so that I can be

20:18

prepared be engaged and present and in

20:20

my next engagement, my next meeting. my

20:22

next meeting. what your triggers are. triggers are.

20:24

Write them down. I have a journal a here here

20:26

I just write things in throughout the day. the

20:29

day. on how on how I'm

20:31

feeling relationships, how I'm feeling with how I'm

20:33

feeling with the business, maybe it's

20:35

an insight that comes to me.

20:37

I just write it down in

20:39

there down your I would also write

20:41

down your triggers. because the It's good to know what

20:43

they are. of because the more less aware of

20:45

what they are, the less they will impact

20:47

you. we kind of right about this a we

20:49

kind of talked about this a little

20:52

bit do not gonna beat a not gonna beat

20:54

a dead horse we like we talked

20:56

about this a little bit bit, but. That happens

20:58

to be one of my triggers as

21:00

well when I start over when and

21:02

a lot of men do this a lot of

21:04

men do this have a deep a deep sense

21:06

of duty and responsibility and that's a

21:09

good thing a good isn't bad. isn't

21:11

bad. They have a deep -seated sense

21:13

of duty and responsibility. and And so we

21:15

wanna be valuable. so we want to be

21:17

We want to serve other people.

21:19

We want to help other people.

21:21

We want to be producers in business

21:23

and personally and professionally and in

21:25

our neighborhoods and communities. so and have

21:27

a tendency of saying we to everything.

21:30

of saying yes to I think for

21:32

the most part, it's virtuous. it's virtuous

21:34

but it's it's also to

21:36

hinder. your your ability to grow

21:38

because you're doing so much you can't you

21:40

can't be good at the few

21:42

things you should actually be doing. You're

21:44

trying to do everything. And

21:46

And this is why I told you

21:49

earlier as number as number one, is no, me,

21:51

two was to identify your dreams

21:53

and objectives dreams because now I can

21:55

use that as a litmus test for

21:57

everything else that I'm doing. I'm doing. If

21:59

if somebody wants to take a meeting with me,

22:01

but it doesn't align with my goals and

22:03

objectives, then I don't feel obligated to have that

22:05

meeting. to have that Now some

22:07

guys will use this as an excuse not to

22:09

do any an work to serve people just out of

22:11

the goodness of their heart. people just out think

22:13

that probably oughta be in your vision and

22:16

dreams and desires as well ought to be in your vision

22:18

the community, being charitable with your time, as being.

22:20

the uh, charitable with your resources.

22:22

with your And then you can

22:24

look and see and a person needs

22:26

help, maybe maybe next door needs her needs

22:28

her. lawn mode or you need to coach one of need

22:31

to coach one of your or sports

22:33

teams or you see somebody who's broke

22:35

down or stuck on the side

22:37

of the road. measures up with

22:39

your measures up with your vision and your

22:41

dreams a being a man of value in

22:43

the community. So you can get

22:45

that done. done but but don't

22:47

take on things that don't align with

22:49

what you want. want and don't feel

22:51

obligated to make other

22:53

people's problems your priority. your priority

22:56

you might You You know, if one of

22:58

my kids calls me today and they're

23:00

having a hard time about something that happened

23:02

with their mom or something that happened

23:04

with a friend that and they called me

23:06

up and and they called You know, I've

23:08

got appointment got appointment after appointment today.

23:11

after appointment today I'm I'm

23:13

going to serve my kids. my Again,

23:15

that goes back to my my dreams,

23:17

but but so I will take on to will

23:19

take their a degree as my as my own

23:21

because that's my job. That's my function as

23:24

a father. as a father. But I but I

23:26

don't feel obligated that just because

23:28

somebody else might be struggling else might

23:30

be maybe they've made poor decisions

23:32

or poor choices that it gets

23:34

to automatically encroach in my life.

23:36

I'm in my life. about that and it

23:38

has served me well and kept

23:40

me a whole lot calmer. and

23:42

Number seven. lot calmer. Number space

23:44

and margin. and margin. Space and

23:46

margin. little a little bit

23:48

about this with the with the calendaring.

23:50

Don't, everything takes longer than

23:52

you think it will. it will. Everything is

23:54

more complicated than you think it is. you think it

23:56

is. Things break, things fall apart,

23:58

meetings run over. concepts are

24:01

hard to explain are hard to

24:03

explain in some cases the programs

24:05

that you're buying whether it's technology

24:07

or vehicles, electronics, electronics,

24:09

don't work the way you think

24:11

they're going to, create space and margin,

24:13

and actually put it into your

24:15

day. A day. lot of the times

24:17

we fail as men to talk about

24:20

rejuvenation, relaxing, recovering, rejuvenating, getting

24:22

our wits back about us after

24:24

a us day or a long meeting, meeting,

24:26

but... It's really important to

24:28

build in, again, deliberately and

24:30

intentionally. and intentionally, your

24:33

decompress time. It's it's margin.

24:36

it's not allowing other allowing

24:38

other things to you have a Maybe you

24:40

have a space in the house that

24:42

is just yours. don't I don't have

24:44

a lot of space in the

24:46

house that's just mine, just mine, but the

24:48

garage. go out and tinker go out

24:50

and tinker in the garage or organize It

24:52

It also happens to be our store, our

24:54

merchandise store. So we're we're orders and

24:56

everything out of there as well. But

24:58

I have this chair, this leather chair

25:00

out here in the living room. And

25:03

I love that chair. So room and might

25:05

just sit there. so I Sometimes when I'm

25:07

on the road, I'm not gonna put

25:09

in a podcast put even music. I'm

25:11

just gonna sit in silence. going to

25:13

sit in with no expectation, no

25:15

goal, just being silent so that

25:17

I can have. I can have Inspiration

25:20

to me or work through

25:22

a problem or a

25:24

challenge Maybe it's just going for

25:26

a walk without, like I don't

25:28

I don't even really use earbuds

25:30

when I'm working when I'm working

25:32

out have I used to. in. I I

25:34

don't have I in. to hear

25:36

the want to be present. I want to

25:38

hear. be able to people talking. I wanna be

25:41

able to engage with somebody. If, be know,

25:43

I see a buddy, I wanna be able

25:45

to have a conversation without having this distracting

25:47

me. me. I to hear

25:49

the weight rack. I like the the sounds

25:51

of the so And so I don't

25:53

need to be I don't need to be

25:55

constantly entertained, the problem. One one of the

25:57

problems with society is that, is that we're

25:59

con- constantly bombarded with. with

26:02

opportunity, appointments, for our time, for our

26:04

time, music media, social media, it's

26:06

in our pockets. know, my my

26:08

pocket right here. Constant, Constant bombardment.

26:10

I turn off all of my

26:12

notifications because because. I don't need

26:14

to see every time somebody calls

26:17

me. I don't need to

26:19

see immediately every time somebody sends

26:21

me an me an somebody responds

26:23

to one of our social media

26:25

posts. I'm not interested in

26:27

that. I'm go check my emails that.

26:29

I'll a deliberate and scheduled time.

26:32

and scheduled time. people laugh at

26:34

me, but if the doorbell rings, I

26:36

don't really feel obligated to answer the

26:38

door unless I know it's somebody that

26:40

I've invited over. I've But if

26:43

I'm sitting at home in the in the afternoon

26:45

and I'm taking a break or maybe

26:47

grabbing a quick bite to eat before I

26:49

get on with the rest of my on

26:51

with the the of rings, I don't feel obligated

26:53

to go get it. feel If somebody

26:55

calls me, I don't feel obligated to

26:57

answer it. me, I don't feel texts me,

26:59

I don't feel obligated to get back

27:01

with them within whatever their accepted window

27:03

of time is. it. If It's my life,

27:05

it's my schedule. feel obligated to

27:07

I have the time and the margin to do

27:09

what I will, but I'm very deliberate about

27:11

how I spend that time that has proven not

27:14

only to keep me calm but me calm, but way

27:16

more effective in life. in life.

27:18

the last thing here, and this kind of ties

27:20

into what I was just saying, this is into a

27:22

simple life. saying, is develop a

27:24

about everything in your

27:26

environment. You know,

27:28

I walked into my closet the other

27:30

day and the got a I've I've got two

27:32

closets, one on this side, one on

27:34

this side. one on this side, one on this side. And I

27:36

mean, the amount of clothes in there that I'll

27:38

never wear again. wear again, taking

27:40

up space. up space. And we don't

27:43

think there's a cost associated with it,

27:45

but there is. That's why we've heard there

27:47

is. That's why these classic examples, Zuckerberg,

27:49

for example, or Steve

27:51

Jobs or Steve Jobs, wearing uniform.

27:53

a uniform. And And we have seen the

27:56

uniform, you know, for for was,

27:58

you know, know, Denham and, and, you know, a

28:00

shirt or turtleneck, but

28:02

a lot of these highly,

28:04

highly successful entrepreneurs and

28:06

business people, they have a

28:08

uniform and they have

28:10

that uniform because they don't

28:12

want to. have to waste

28:15

any energy on deciding

28:17

what to wear and when and all that

28:19

sort of thing. And I'm not saying you have to

28:21

have a uniform and wear the same thing every

28:23

day, but but just having a bunch of clothes. in

28:26

your closet actually takes up

28:28

space, mental space and margin. Same

28:31

thing with toys and gadgets and

28:33

gizmos and we're on the, you

28:35

know, Eve of Christmas here and

28:39

the things that we get that we'll

28:41

never use, but then we feel obligated

28:43

to keep them around. I've actually told

28:45

people have asked me for addresses and

28:47

they wanna send me things. I'm send like,

28:49

don't send me anything. It's not that

28:51

I don't appreciate the gesture, I do,

28:54

but I'm trying to keep a simple

28:56

life. So don't send me anything. Just

28:58

say thank you or let's have a

29:00

conversation or let's go do an experience

29:02

together. I'm good with that, but I

29:04

don't want a lot of physical stuff.

29:07

I really... really like. And

29:09

I don't live this fully, but I

29:12

like the idea of the minimalist lifestyle. that's

29:15

been said that the things that you

29:18

own actually own you. And that's true,

29:20

you own a house, that thing owns

29:22

you and your time. You

29:24

have a dog? Not saying you

29:26

shouldn't, but that dog requires time,

29:28

energy, food, water, money, putting it

29:30

in a kennel or a sitter

29:33

when you're gone. It's more to

29:35

it than just the thing. It

29:37

always is. And if

29:39

you want the thing, that's fine, but you

29:41

need to calculate the total cost of whatever

29:43

that thing is in your life. And it

29:45

will have a cost, even a computer. in

29:47

this technology. it's taking

29:49

up space. I

29:51

have to charge it so there's

29:53

time there's also the electrical

29:55

cost not very much, but it

29:57

is still a cost but

29:59

it's worth it, right? Because I have to run the

30:01

business. the But one thing I don't have is I

30:03

don't have 17 cameras. Why would I have 17

30:06

cameras? Guess how many I have Guess how many I have?

30:08

and I had had like four and I sold three

30:10

of them. because why would I have those? would I

30:12

have sorry, I Actually, I'm sorry, I sorry, have two. I do

30:14

This one, and I do have a in case this case

30:16

this one goes down, but the rest of the

30:18

stuff I just get rid of. rid of. I do

30:20

that all I do that all over my house,

30:22

I do that in my car. might even You

30:24

might even do that with people in your

30:26

life. Maybe there's certain people who just shouldn't

30:28

be in your life because they're a drain

30:31

on your because they're a drain on your capital, your

30:33

mental energy. capital, your mental we all have

30:35

those people where you talk to me just feel

30:37

exhausted. me just feel exhausted always complaining

30:39

and griping and just dumping all

30:41

their baggage on you. all their baggage

30:43

don't want that stuff in your

30:45

life. Create and develop a

30:47

very simple life and you will

30:49

be far less likely to

30:51

be stressed about dealing with the

30:53

cost of stuff and people

30:55

and things. that's my that's my lesson

30:57

for my Guys, for you today. Guys, it's

30:59

very, very important that we do keep

31:01

calm. I I said this already, I think

31:04

you know why. why. But again, think about the

31:06

men that you admire and respect the

31:08

most, those guys are calm. the most. They're cool.

31:10

calm. They're collected. They're collected,

31:12

without without like dare just even keel,

31:15

get the job done always. And

31:17

we think typically less of

31:19

people who are emotionally volatile.

31:22

We don't don't think they're as capable and

31:24

they're typically not. they're We're definitely not influenced by

31:26

them as much as we would be somebody who's

31:28

calm and collected and has that level of

31:30

confidence that comes with the skill set and the

31:32

reps. level of be that kind of man. That's

31:35

the kind of man we wanna be and that's

31:37

the kind of man that other people need

31:39

us to be. That's So again, know your role,

31:41

lead well. that's Number two, of your dreams and objectives.

31:43

need us to be. So again, your skill lead

31:45

get your reps. two, Four, be

31:47

repulsed. Not just Three, Not be be

31:49

distracted, but be repulsed by

31:51

distractions. Number five, know your triggers.

31:54

Six, do not over commit.

31:56

Seven, create space and margin. And

31:58

eight, develop a simple. I hope

32:00

that serves you. I hope that helps

32:02

you. Please let me know if it

32:04

does or doesn't. And let me know

32:07

how I'm doing. Leave us a rating

32:09

or review. Also go check this video

32:11

out on YouTube. You can see my

32:13

ugly mug and we're really trying to

32:15

build up that YouTube channel. It's doing

32:17

very well right now, 343 or 44,000

32:19

people tuning in to this podcast over

32:22

on the YouTube's.com/order of man. And of

32:24

course, two more resources, your battle planner.

32:26

orderman.com/battle planner with videos on how to

32:28

use this. And the last resource, I

32:30

think the most powerful one, I'm a

32:32

bit biased I know, is the Iron

32:34

Council. This is our Brotherhood. I've noticed

32:37

there's a lot of other masterminds and

32:39

organizations and brotherhoods that are popping up,

32:41

and I think that's great. But what

32:43

I'll tell you is that we've been

32:45

doing this for 10 years. Not 10

32:47

days or 10 weeks or 10 months,

32:50

we've been doing this for 10 years.

32:52

And over a 10-year time frame, we've

32:54

learned what works, what doesn't work. We're

32:56

constantly evaluating, we're constantly trying new things.

32:58

In fact, we just finished up a

33:00

survey. and we're putting together some results

33:02

on what we might implement to make

33:05

this thing even better. So it's constantly

33:07

getting better and you'll have access to

33:09

some incredible, incredible men. What I've seen

33:11

is, well, personally, I have friends from

33:13

the Iron Council that I met through

33:15

the organization that are lifelong friends. I've

33:17

called two of them in the past

33:20

couple of days because I needed to

33:22

work through some issues and talk with

33:24

them about some things. I had the

33:26

opportunity to do that. I hunt with

33:28

these guys. We go on adventures together.

33:30

They know my situation good and bad.

33:32

I know their situation good and bad.

33:35

They can share what they need to

33:37

share. I can share what I need

33:39

to share. It's actually a really powerful

33:41

thing. And it's because we have an

33:43

organization like the Iron Council. So go

33:45

check it out. Order of man.com/Iron Council.

33:47

All right guys, those are your marching

33:50

orders. We'll be back next week for

33:52

an interview. Until then go out there.

33:54

Take action. Keep calm. Become. Become a

33:56

man you are meant to be. Thank

34:03

you you for listening to the Order the

34:05

Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge

34:07

of your life of be more of

34:09

the man you are meant to be. were

34:11

We invite you to join the you to

34:13

join the.com. man.com.