0:00

Hi everybody and welcome to episode 491,

0:02

which I'm entitling new beginnings and back

0:04

to basics. Welcome to Over It and

0:06

On With It. I'm your host Christine

0:09

Hasler and for over a decade I've

0:11

been a life coach, speaker, and author.

0:13

Each week you'll hear me work directly

0:15

with a caller as I coach them

0:18

through a goal they want to accomplish

0:20

or an obstacle they may be facing.

0:22

I'll provide a blend of practical and

0:24

spiritual and spiritual advice as well as

0:27

tangible actions you can apply to your

0:29

own life. Now, let's get on with

0:31

the episode. I thought it would

0:33

be fun with this new moon

0:35

we just had in Pisces, which

0:38

is all about fresh beginnings,

0:40

to re-air the very first

0:42

podcast I put up on

0:44

this show back in 2015,

0:46

when everyone told me I

0:48

was crazy to do this

0:50

kind of format. There wasn't

0:52

this kind of format where

0:54

people were coached live on

0:57

the air. I was told

0:59

by other podcasters, it'll be

1:01

too hard technologically. People won't

1:03

want to share. Are you

1:05

that confident in your coaching

1:07

that you can coach unscripted,

1:10

unedited, and unproduced? And my

1:12

answer was yes. And even

1:14

though I got discouragement, I

1:16

move forward anyway, and I'm

1:18

so glad I did. I encourage

1:20

you as you listen to this

1:22

show to consider what fresh beginnings

1:24

are in store for you, what you

1:27

may. beginning external discouragement about or what

1:29

you might have fear about, but you

1:31

really feel intuitively, it's right for you,

1:33

even if it doesn't make sense on

1:36

some level. You know, this show didn't

1:38

make sense on a lot of levels,

1:40

and here we are 10 years later.

1:42

Yeah, October will be the 10-year anniversary.

1:45

So what fresh beginnings can you lean

1:47

into with this new mean energy? It's

1:49

also Venus and retrograde. I'm not an

1:52

astrologer. I pay attention to it. once

1:54

I noticed it actually was impacting me.

1:56

And I was like, oh, maybe there's something

1:58

to this. And Venus and Retro. is a

2:00

great time to go back and

2:02

look at what we truly value

2:05

and what's motivating our desires. Venus

2:07

and Retrograde gives us an opportunity

2:09

to really clear out any places

2:11

where we're coming from fear or

2:14

other people's expectations and be really

2:16

honest about what we want and

2:18

do some incredible reprogramming. And reprogramming

2:21

sounds sexy, but it can be

2:23

really hard. There's a lot of

2:25

grief that can come up. There's

2:27

resistance from the protector parts that

2:30

can come up, but it's so

2:32

worth it. And I wanted to

2:34

share, if you're feeling a call

2:37

to get some extra support, to

2:39

really come into a container where

2:41

you can move quickly through things

2:43

and uplevel every aspect of your

2:46

life, emotionally, mentally, with my daughter

2:48

getting older, I've opened up. more

2:50

spots to do one-on-one. I had

2:53

pulled back because I love loving

2:55

on my one-on-one clients and you

2:57

get a lot of attention from

2:59

me and my attention was really

3:02

directed towards my daughter. She is

3:04

turning to three next week and

3:06

there's more spaciousness in my life.

3:09

My one-on-one coaching will always be

3:11

the foundation of my business. I

3:13

speak, I lead retreats, I do

3:15

this podcast, there's lots of things

3:18

that I do, but the one-on-one,

3:20

I will never stop doing. It's

3:22

my acoustic guitar, you know, it's

3:25

the thing that is the foundation

3:27

of what I believe in. I

3:29

would not be where I am

3:31

today without one-on-one work and investing

3:34

in coaches and teachers that were

3:36

a stretch, but that I knew

3:38

could get me where I wanted

3:40

to go with integrity, with efficiency,

3:43

and with a lot of love.

3:45

So if you are interested in

3:47

that, you can email Jill at

3:50

Christine hasser.com. She'll have an initial

3:52

conversation with you, explain to you

3:54

what it looks like, and then

3:56

you and I will have. conversation

3:59

and see if it's a fit.

4:01

I can already feel the two

4:03

people coming in and I work

4:06

with with all people. I would

4:08

say one of my expertise is

4:10

supporting high achieving women and actually

4:12

feeling fulfilled and regulating their nervous

4:15

system. Sometimes when we're so high

4:17

achieving we kind of get to

4:19

a point where we're like wait

4:22

a second is this even the

4:24

life that I want? So if you

4:26

relate to that if you have this

4:28

life or nothing's really wrong, but nothing

4:31

feels completely right, or you want to

4:33

start your own business, or you want

4:35

to have a breakthrough in your relationship,

4:37

or you just actually want the support

4:39

of someone that can really, really hold

4:42

you, because I can hold, I can

4:44

really hold you. Then reach out. There's

4:46

no risk in just having a conversation.

4:48

So you can email Jill

4:51

at christinehasser.com. All right, so a

4:53

little bit more about this episode, whether

4:55

you're a long-time listener who's been with

4:57

me. Since day one, 10 years ago,

5:00

or you joined our community more recently,

5:02

I think you'll find something meaningful in

5:04

revisiting beginnings. And this episode is especially

5:06

relevant for anyone who's starting something new

5:08

in their lives or considering taking that

5:11

first step towards change. In this episode,

5:13

I share my personal story, explain what

5:15

an expectation hangover is, and pee. Yes,

5:17

you can get my book, Expectation Hangover,

5:20

on Audible Now, recorded in my

5:22

voice with some updates. The original

5:24

version was not recorded in my

5:27

voice, and for the 10-year anniversary

5:29

of that book, I recorded this.

5:31

You can grab that on Audible.

5:33

I also talk about why I

5:36

started this podcast. And it's a

5:38

beautiful reminder of how far we've

5:40

come. And, you know, the foundations

5:42

of the work we continue to

5:45

do together. So sit back, join

5:47

me for this. We're in this

5:49

together in reprogramming, repattering, and most

5:51

of all coming from truth and

5:54

love. Well, hello everyone and

5:56

welcome. I'm so excited that

5:58

you're here. and you're joining

6:00

me for the very first episode

6:03

of Over It and On With

6:05

It. And since this is the

6:07

first episode, I wanted to take

6:09

some time to share with you

6:11

my over and on with its

6:13

story, the reasons why I was

6:15

so inspired to create this show,

6:17

what this show is about, and

6:19

how it will serve you, and

6:21

a little bit about me. So,

6:23

I'm Christine Hasler, your host, and

6:25

since 2004, I've been a life

6:27

coach helping people answer the questions.

6:29

Who am I? What do I

6:31

want? And how do I get

6:33

it? I'm a best-selling author of

6:35

three books, the latest being Expectation

6:38

Hangover, a professional speaker, retreat facilitator,

6:40

and now a podcast host. And

6:42

I'm also a yogi, a gym

6:44

rat, a Texan. a daughter, a

6:46

sister, an auntie, which is one

6:48

of my favorite roles, a friend,

6:50

a health nut. I mean, I

6:52

was doing weak grass shots before

6:54

most people knew what it was,

6:56

a travel junkie, a lover of

6:58

kombucha, an addict, spiritual seeker, loved

7:00

to dance, especially the 80s music,

7:02

and so much more. You'll get

7:04

to know me as the show

7:06

goes on. So those are all

7:08

roles I play in ways I

7:10

express myself, but who I really

7:13

am. is none of those external

7:15

things. So who am I? Well,

7:17

before I answer that question, I

7:19

invite you to ask yourself the

7:21

same question. Who are you? You're

7:23

probably used to being asked the

7:25

question, what do you do? But

7:27

how often are you asked, who

7:29

are you? And how would you

7:31

answer that? If you're like most

7:33

people, you would answer the question

7:35

by the roles you play. I'm

7:37

a wife. I'm a mother, I'm

7:39

a father, I'm a husband, I'm

7:41

an accountant, I'm a lawyer, I'm

7:43

a coach, I'm a Virgo, I'm

7:45

a Gemini, whatever it may be.

7:48

But that's really not who you

7:50

are at all. And I think

7:52

part of the reason that so

7:54

many of us end up with

7:56

expectation hangovers, and don't worry, I'm

7:58

going to... find that in a

8:00

little bit is because we don't

8:02

know who we are. So I want

8:04

to take you through a little exercise

8:07

to help you get clarity on

8:09

that question, because this show is

8:11

going to be full of really

8:13

practical tips that you can implement

8:15

into your life to help you

8:18

grow. So bringing that question back

8:20

to mind, who are you? And what I

8:22

invite you to do now is think

8:24

about something you love doing, just something

8:26

that when you do it, time

8:28

stops. You could do it for

8:31

hours and hours and while you're

8:33

doing it, you're totally present.

8:35

There can be anything. Gardening,

8:37

cooking, shopping, writing, dancing. What

8:40

is it? And that first

8:42

thing that came to mind

8:44

just used that. There are no

8:46

wrong answers here. Now, think about

8:48

the qualities that come out

8:51

of you while you're doing

8:53

that thing. For example, I

8:55

love playing with my nephews.

8:57

Love it. Time stops and I could

8:59

do it forever and I'm totally

9:02

present. So does who I am mean I

9:04

have to go open a daycare center

9:06

or have kids of my own because

9:08

I love playing with kids so much?

9:10

No. We're not looking for the form

9:12

here. We're looking for the

9:14

essence. So I look at

9:16

the qualities that come out

9:19

of me while I'm playing

9:21

with my nephews. I'm compassionate,

9:23

I'm loving, I'm playful, I'm

9:25

creative, I'm intuitive, I'm nurturing,

9:27

I'm wise, I'm full of

9:29

integrity, I'm present. All of those

9:31

things are who I am. So who are

9:33

you? Now you can really answer

9:35

that question. And maybe

9:37

take some time after you

9:40

listen to this episode to

9:42

do some journaling about it.

9:44

Think about what you love

9:46

to do. And the qualities that come

9:48

out of you while you do that

9:50

thing because that is who you are.

9:53

We live in a world that defines

9:55

us way too much by external things

9:57

and we become achievement and accomplishment at

9:59

it. and we lose sight and we

10:01

lose touch with the core of who

10:04

we are. So in this podcast I'll

10:06

be asking you a lot of questions

10:08

to trigger radical self-reflection and also give

10:10

you practical direction. You see I feel

10:13

truly blessed to have gotten on the

10:15

personal development path in my early 20s.

10:17

I've had so many great teachers and

10:19

life experiences that have given me wisdom

10:22

that I'm so inspired to share with

10:24

you. which brings me to the big

10:26

why of why I started this podcast.

10:29

Well, it all started in a meditation.

10:31

Most of my great ideas come from

10:33

meditation. I was doing my beginning of

10:35

the year, New Year's Ritual, where I

10:38

meditate and I visualize really what I

10:40

want to create in the next year.

10:42

And while I was doing my visioning

10:44

for 2015, inside I heard coach more,

10:47

serve even more, serve even more, serve

10:49

even more. coach more, serve even more.

10:51

Unclear about exactly what that may look

10:53

like, I just sat with the insight

10:56

because I've learned by now not to

10:58

immediately put form on intuitive guidance. I've

11:00

learned just to sit with it and

11:02

let it marinate. And then a few

11:05

days later it hit me. I could

11:07

host a podcast where I actually coach

11:09

people live on the air. And the

11:11

insight felt so good, I just felt

11:14

it in my body, you know, when

11:16

you get an intuitive hit and it

11:18

just feels right. And then my mind

11:20

came in, was like, oh, how, and

11:23

technology, and ah, I don't love technology,

11:25

I mean, I love technology, but I

11:27

don't love technology, but I don't love

11:29

technology, but I don't love technology sometimes.

11:32

If you know what I mean, I

11:34

get intimidated by it, it would be

11:36

a better way to say it. I'm

11:38

not gonna let my mind stop my

11:41

fear stop me, I will figure, I

11:43

will figure, I will figure, I will

11:45

figure, I will figure, I will figure,

11:47

I will figure, I will figure, I

11:50

will figure, I will figure, I will,

11:52

I will, I will, I will, And

11:54

eventually the people and the technology and

11:57

all the things came into place where

11:59

I could create a container or I

12:01

could coach people live. And this idea

12:03

felt like such a no-brainer. I was

12:06

surprised to learn that there really is

12:08

in a podcast. this already out there

12:10

which makes it even more exciting. There's

12:12

so many interview-based podcasts out there with

12:15

amazing content. I listen to them, I

12:17

love them, but I'm here to do

12:19

something different. There's something magical that happens

12:21

when I work one-on-one with someone. It's

12:24

my zone of genius. We all have

12:26

fun. and I feel it's how spirit

12:28

really uses me. Plus, I just love

12:30

it. And I wanted to be able

12:33

to connect with more of you and

12:35

also use it as an opportunity for

12:37

people listening to experience transformation at the

12:39

same time. See, when you listen and

12:42

experience someone else getting coached, you actually

12:44

can have spontaneous healing and transformation in

12:46

that moment. When we're listening to someone

12:48

else, our own defenses are down, so

12:51

the information goes in even more easily.

12:53

And the ahas and insights that we

12:55

can have, through listening to someone else,

12:57

be vulnerable and move through an obstacle

13:00

or challenge, are so impactful. I've seen

13:02

this repeatedly when I've done workshops and

13:04

events and seminars. Someone is brave and

13:06

stands up to share in a group

13:09

and receives coaching, and everybody else receives

13:11

the benefit from it. So

13:13

as a listener, you will learn so

13:15

much about yourself and about other people.

13:18

You know, you may hear someone being

13:20

coached that may not directly relate to

13:22

something you're going through, but it may

13:24

relate to someone you know. You may

13:27

have a better understanding of your husband

13:29

or your sister or your friend or

13:31

your boss because you hear someone else's

13:33

journey. I also hope this serves a

13:36

lot of you coaches, counselors, healers, light

13:38

workers out there in terms of gathering

13:40

some tools in your toolbox. Like I

13:42

said, I've been blessed to have many

13:45

tools in my toolbox and I'm so

13:47

happy to share them with you so

13:49

that you can go out and do

13:51

even more of your great work in

13:54

the world. And the final thing I'll

13:56

say in terms of my why is...

13:58

that this is truly a dream come

14:00

true for me. And I wish I

14:03

had a camera on my face because

14:05

you'd see my huge smile for me.

14:07

This is like a little girl dream

14:09

for me. You see, as a little

14:12

girl, my mom always listened to the

14:14

Dr. Laura Schleshinger show. It was a

14:16

call and advice talk show and it

14:18

was always on in the background in

14:21

the kitchen when we were driving to

14:23

school and because I... listened to it

14:25

so much as a kid. I continued to listen

14:27

to it through college and when I first moved

14:29

out to LA, I think she was on like

14:32

between noon and two or something and I'd make

14:34

sure my errands and drive time were during that

14:36

time so I could listen to her. And

14:38

I didn't always agree with everything that

14:40

she said. She has some strong opinions,

14:42

but I loved. Just the whole concept

14:44

of a call and advice show.

14:47

I loved how in five minutes,

14:49

ten minutes, someone could have a transformation,

14:51

have an aha, have an insight.

14:53

And I always wanted something like that

14:55

on my own. And here we are.

14:57

Today I'm recording this introductory episode of

15:00

my real-life call and advice radio talk

15:02

show. Only it's a podcast because technology

15:04

has advanced. And I share this with

15:07

you because I want to be a

15:09

stand for you going after your dreams.

15:11

Whatever it is you want to create,

15:14

there is a way. And that's one

15:16

of the things the show will inspire

15:18

you to do to not give up

15:21

on your dreams. Going after dreams and

15:23

goals is one of the many topics

15:25

we'll explore. You'll also hear live coaching

15:28

sessions with callers like attracting the

15:30

relationship and career of your

15:32

dream. Life transitions, loss, recovering from

15:34

a breakup, how to manifest. overcoming

15:37

things like fear, doubt, insecurity,

15:39

how to attract more financial abundance

15:41

in your life, and a topic

15:43

that will come up a

15:45

lot is how to heal from

15:48

and truly leverage your expectation hangovers

15:50

so you can get over disappointment

15:53

and on with your dreams. Okay, so

15:55

if you're new to my work,

15:57

you're probably wondering, so just what

15:59

is... expectation hangover. Well, let me

16:01

define it for you. We have

16:03

an expectation hangover, or rather we

16:05

suffer from an expectation hangover, when

16:07

one of three things happen. Either

16:09

the desired result or plan or

16:11

outcome that we want doesn't happen.

16:13

Things just don't go according to

16:15

the plan. Things do go according

16:18

to plan. They do turn out

16:20

like we wanted or hoped, but

16:22

we don't have the sense of

16:24

fulfillment and joy and creativity or

16:26

whatever we were looking for on

16:28

the inside. We don't have that.

16:30

So we are disappointed. Or life

16:32

just throws us a total curveball

16:34

that isn't so desirable. Anything from

16:36

a parking ticket to getting diagnosed

16:38

with an illness. So I'm sure

16:40

everyone out there listening can relate

16:42

to having an expectation hangover at

16:44

one point or another. And what

16:46

I've learned about expectation hangovers and

16:48

why I'm so passionate about them.

16:50

And sometimes people ask me, why

16:52

are you so passionate about disappointment?

16:54

Well, it's not that I'm passionate

16:56

about disappointment. I'm passionate about the

16:58

doorway of opportunity that disappointment often

17:00

provides. You see, most people that

17:02

come to me for coaching or

17:04

that are going to call in

17:06

for this show. They don't say,

17:08

oh my gosh, life is just

17:10

going great, I thought we'd just

17:13

chat. Something has happened or isn't

17:15

happening that's causing them some suffering.

17:17

Their reality isn't meeting their expectations

17:19

and they want freedom from their

17:21

suffering. And that's really what I'm

17:23

here to help people do, that's

17:25

my big mission. Helping people free

17:27

themselves from their suffering so they

17:29

can live into their full potential.

17:31

I don't know about you, but

17:33

when I was growing up, I

17:35

did not get a manual for

17:37

how to overcome and heal from

17:39

my disappointment. I took a year

17:41

of Texas history, but a class

17:43

on really understanding my emotions and

17:45

changing my thoughts and behavior and

17:47

understanding myself as a spiritual being

17:49

having a human experience would have

17:51

been way more... valuable. And hopefully

17:53

we get that kind of education

17:55

into our classrooms someday in our

17:57

lifetime. That's one of my dreams.

17:59

But since we don't, that's one

18:01

of my jobs is to educate

18:03

myself and as many people as

18:05

I can through this podcast. Because

18:08

I believe, actually in fact I

18:10

know there's a shift in consciousness

18:12

happening on the planet. More and

18:14

more people are waking up, you're

18:16

waking up. or waking up to,

18:18

wow, there's something deeper that I

18:20

feel called to do. Maybe I'm

18:22

not just this three-dimensional being in

18:24

this kind of human form. Maybe

18:26

there's more to me. More and

18:28

where people are opening their minds

18:30

and their hearts to the concept

18:32

of spirituality, of oneness, of a

18:34

greater connection. And it's awesome, because

18:36

we need it. We need it.

18:38

We need this rise and growth

18:40

in consciousness. And I'm so thrilled

18:42

to be a part of it

18:44

and that you're a part of

18:46

it. So before I go a

18:48

little more into why expectation hangovers

18:50

happen and how we can start

18:52

to leverage them, I thought I'd

18:54

tell you a little bit of

18:56

my story. I'll be telling a

18:58

lot of stories in this podcast

19:00

because just like when we're listening

19:03

to someone else being coached, when

19:05

we're listening to a story, our

19:07

defenses are down, we're more in

19:09

our right brain, and when we

19:11

hear a story, it can trigger

19:13

a lot of ahas and a

19:15

lot of insights. I remember my

19:17

first coach Mona who made a

19:19

huge impact in my life, and

19:21

you'll hear more about her in

19:23

an upcoming episode. She'd always be

19:25

telling me these random stories, and

19:27

I'm like, why are you telling

19:29

me this story? And eventually I

19:31

learned she was talking to the

19:33

back of my brain, she was

19:35

talking to my unconscious mind, so

19:37

that my defenses were down, and

19:39

so I could really catch the

19:41

nuggets of wisdom that she was

19:43

layering in a story. And as

19:45

you hear someone else's story, like

19:47

you will mine in a moment,

19:49

think about your own. We all

19:51

have stories, a hero or heroine's

19:53

journey, and we can see... seek

19:56

answers in our personal history. Your

19:58

past influences your present, so understanding

20:00

it is important. So you have

20:02

more awareness as to why you

20:04

made some of the choices you

20:06

have or why you're dealing with

20:08

situations, even challenges today. But if

20:10

you let your past define you

20:12

or be an excuse for why

20:14

you don't have the present you

20:16

desire, co-creating the future of your

20:18

dreams will be nearly impossible. So

20:20

a big part of this show

20:22

will be teaching you how to

20:24

heal your past so you can

20:26

change your present and get what

20:28

you really want. And when you

20:30

heal your past, rather than blame

20:32

it or resent it, it often

20:34

becomes the inspiration for how you

20:36

want to make a difference in

20:38

the world. It certainly did for

20:40

me. So here's my story. I

20:42

am definitely no stranger to expectation

20:44

hangovers. Before the ink on my

20:46

college diploma was dry, I moved

20:48

to Los Angeles to pursue my

20:51

dream of working in the entertainment

20:53

industry. I was driven by a

20:55

tremendous expectation of myself to be

20:57

wildly successful to compensate for the

20:59

insecurity I had since I was

21:01

a kid. You see, I was

21:03

bullied and teased and thought I

21:05

was unlikable, so to compensate for

21:07

it, I became a massive overachiever,

21:09

which externally made me very successful.

21:11

By the ripe old age of

21:13

25, I was a full-fledged Hollywood

21:15

agent. I had an office with

21:17

a view, an assistant who answered

21:19

my phone, an expense account, big

21:21

salary, power lunches, industry screenings, private

21:23

jets going to the Oscars, the

21:25

Golden Globes. I dated and attended

21:27

all these cool events with celebrities.

21:29

I even spent one New Year's

21:31

Eve with George Cloney. Now there's

21:33

a midnight kiss. I will never

21:35

forget. From the outside it looked

21:37

like I really had at all.

21:39

There was just one big problem.

21:41

I was absolutely miserable, stressed out.

21:43

anxious on antidepressants and really did

21:46

not feel any sense of fulfillment.

21:48

Where was the happiness and worthiness

21:50

I thought all my goals would

21:52

deliver? Every day I tried to

21:54

talk myself into liking my job.

21:56

I felt obligated to stay because

21:58

I worked so hard to get

22:00

there, but I dreaded each day.

22:02

I started getting terrible migraines. I

22:04

rode up to the elevator to

22:06

work with knots in my stomach

22:08

every day and I was irritable

22:10

all the time. I would snap

22:12

at a waitress for no reason.

22:14

To save myself from a total

22:16

meltdown and others from the bitch

22:18

I was all of a sudden

22:20

becoming, I quit. So leaving my

22:22

prestigious Hollywood career changed my external

22:24

circumstances, but I still found myself

22:26

miserable. Burned out and craving a

22:28

total change in direction, I became

22:30

a personal trainer. I thought it

22:32

might be my quote-unquote passion. Wrong

22:34

again. I then had nine different

22:36

jobs, yes, nine, in two years,

22:39

constantly searching for something that would

22:41

make me feel better about myself.

22:43

During that time, I went into

22:45

thousands of dollars of debt because

22:47

I was trying to keep up

22:49

with my fancy Hollywood lifestyle. got

22:51

diagnosed with an undiagnosable autoimmune disorder,

22:53

all my relationships were strained, and

22:55

then the icing on the cake

22:57

is that six months before my

22:59

wedding, which I thought was sort

23:01

of like my next chapter, I

23:03

was gonna be a wife and

23:05

a mother, and maybe I had

23:07

my good career, so I was

23:09

ready to move on to this

23:11

next chapter of my life. Well,

23:13

that came to an abrupt end

23:15

when he ducked me six months

23:17

before our wedding. So there I

23:19

was, now at 27, heartbroken and

23:21

dead, sick and totally lacking direction.

23:23

Nothing had turned out the way

23:25

I expected, despite my meticulous planning

23:27

and overachieving major expectation hangover. One

23:29

pivotal night I found myself for

23:31

the first time ever contemplating how

23:34

I could end my life. I

23:36

just didn't know what to do

23:38

and kind of didn't want to

23:40

be here anymore. It was a

23:42

terrifying thought. but I felt so

23:44

incredibly hopeless. And for someone that

23:46

usually knows what to do, not

23:48

knowing what to do is really

23:50

scary. And then something happened that

23:52

I still to this day have

23:54

trouble totally remembering and articulating, but

23:56

seemingly out of nowhere, this wave

23:58

of unconditional love and compassion flooded

24:00

over me. Time stopped. My pain

24:02

was replaced with comfort. I knew

24:04

that everything indeed was happening for

24:06

a reason. Unlike the past, when

24:08

people used that cliche on me,

24:10

you know, when someone tells you,

24:12

everything's happening for a reason when

24:14

you're in the midst of a

24:16

major expectation hangover and you feel

24:18

like punching them in the face

24:20

because you're like, I don't know

24:22

what the reason is. This was

24:24

different. I felt like I experienced

24:26

God and I had an expectation

24:29

hangover to thank for it. I

24:31

didn't know exactly what it was,

24:33

but I knew there was one.

24:35

And this feeling of peace and

24:37

connection only lasted for a bad

24:39

instant because my mind came in

24:41

and tried to figure it out,

24:43

like the mind often does. But

24:45

the impact of that moment will

24:47

last a lifetime. And for the

24:49

first time in my life I

24:51

felt like I experienced God and

24:53

I had an expectation hangover to

24:55

thank for it. So at

24:57

that point I made a promise to

25:00

myself to dig in, to really look

25:02

at my life and figure out who

25:04

I was, what I really wanted, and

25:06

how I was going to get it.

25:09

I opened my mind to the possibility

25:11

that somewhere in the midst of this

25:13

expectation hangover, there was a blessing. The

25:15

first blessing revealed itself two days later

25:18

when I woke up with the idea

25:20

for my first book, which was called

25:22

20-something, 20-everything. It launched my very unexpected

25:25

career as an author, professional speaker. facilitator,

25:27

life coach, and spiritual counselor. My biggest

25:29

expectation hangover was the catalyst for stepping

25:31

onto a career path that I absolutely

25:34

love. So now that my quarter life

25:36

crisis was behind me, I believe that

25:38

was well on my way to creating

25:40

a life I wanted. I mean, I

25:43

had wrote a self-help book. That must

25:45

mean I'm there, right? Wrong. So I

25:47

broke free of debt, I healed my

25:49

relationships, I regained my health, and after

25:52

years of searching I found my passion.

25:54

After recovering from a broken heart, I

25:56

married a man I loved deeply. my

25:59

30s were looking the way I thought

26:01

they should, I finally had it all.

26:03

How cute of my ego to think

26:05

that. Then another expectation hangover began

26:07

to emerge. Everything I expected to

26:09

make me happy had manifested yet.

26:11

I felt a deep sense of

26:13

longing for something I couldn't define.

26:16

It was different than the longing

26:18

I felt in my 20s. It

26:20

was a thirst that could not

26:22

be quenched by a job, a

26:24

man, a paycheck, or a trip

26:26

to Bali. This expectation hangover had

26:28

a deeper message for me. I

26:30

embarked on a journey of learning

26:32

how to leverage disappointment, a journey

26:34

that truly shook me to my core. The

26:36

most notable fallout of this shake-up was

26:38

a divorce that catapulted me further into

26:41

the expectation hangover, which became the most

26:43

severe ever experienced. I agonized over whether

26:45

or not to get divorced so much

26:47

that I lost half the hair on

26:50

my head. You see, the body always knows,

26:52

and when we're not listening to our

26:54

intuition, the body will find some way

26:56

to send us the message. And because,

26:58

like I said earlier, I'm from Texas,

27:00

and hair's a big thing there, and

27:02

I liked my hair. My ego knew,

27:04

oh, maybe your vanity will get the

27:06

message through. And it did. Even though

27:08

I didn't want to get divorced, I

27:10

knew in my heart our marriage had

27:13

an expiration date. And we'll be

27:15

talking about how some relationships

27:17

have expiration dates on the show on

27:19

the show. When I was going through my

27:21

divorce, someone said to me, Christine, milk

27:24

this for all its worth. That was actually

27:26

one of the best pieces of advice

27:28

I received. You know, the thing

27:30

about expectation hangovers is that it's

27:32

never just about the issue we're

27:34

currently facing. It triggers all kinds of

27:37

juicy stuff from our past that's not yet

27:39

been resolved. So yes, we want to get

27:41

over it and on with it, but we

27:43

don't want to just push it aside to

27:45

get over it. We want to dig it and

27:48

ask what's here for me to me to heal.

27:50

So my 30-something expectation hangover included

27:52

the perceived failure of a marriage,

27:55

financial insecurity, and having no children

27:57

despite hearing the loud tick-talk of

27:59

my bio- clock. But I milked

28:01

it for all it was worth. While

28:03

grieving the demise of my marriage, I

28:05

died back into work at an accelerated

28:08

speed. I sold the home I had

28:10

renovated with my husband and moved into

28:12

a place of my own. All while

28:15

showing up for people as a coach

28:17

and inspirational speaker, which was not easy

28:19

in the midst of everything that was

28:22

going on. I was dealing with shame.

28:24

Shame I had about my quote-unquote failed

28:26

marriage and had to quiet the who

28:29

am I to give advice when my

28:31

own life is not turning out like

28:33

I planned judgments- I planned judgments. What

28:36

I realized is I'm one of the

28:38

best people to be teaching about how

28:40

to get over it and on with

28:43

it, because I learned how to move

28:45

through each one of my expectation hangovers

28:47

and walk through those doorways of transformation

28:50

that were opening all around me. What

28:52

I want to emphasize right now is

28:54

that even the things that feel absolutely

28:57

miserable are in service to our growth

28:59

learning and healing. The cure to any

29:01

expectation hangover is not to figure out

29:04

another way to get what we thought

29:06

we wanted. but rather to move out

29:08

of our own way to see what

29:11

we really need. The Rolling Stones had

29:13

it right. We can't always get what

29:15

we want, but we get what we

29:18

need. So there you have it. A

29:20

little bit about my own expectation hangovers

29:22

and why I'm so passionate about helping

29:25

you get over it and on with

29:27

it. And a little word about the

29:29

word passion. So many people say, I

29:31

want to find my passion, I want

29:34

to find my passion, I want to

29:36

find my passion. Well, do you know

29:38

that the actual original definition of the

29:41

word passion is suffering? It comes from

29:43

the passion of the Christ. And over

29:45

the years, or centuries, I should say,

29:48

we've evolved the word passion from suffering

29:50

to something we love. And I think

29:52

that's awesome, because if you think about

29:55

it, So many of the people who

29:57

are doing things I love that came

29:59

from their suffering. I'm a prime example

30:02

of that. It was from my challenges,

30:04

from my expectation hangovers, from my suffering,

30:06

that was the catalyst for what I

30:09

do today, what I'm so passionate about.

30:11

So think about how your suffering could

30:13

be the catalyst for your passion and

30:16

your expectation hangover can be the very

30:18

thing that leads you there. What I

30:20

know for sure about expectation hangovers from

30:23

what I learned about my own and

30:25

helping thousands of people work through theirs

30:27

is that there are five key valuable

30:30

lessons. They're here to teach all of

30:32

us. Number one. They illuminate that we

30:34

all put a lot of expectation on

30:37

ourselves. Yes, there's expectations from others and

30:39

society and all that. But the biggest

30:41

pressure cooker when it comes to expectation

30:44

is ourselves. And they show us really

30:46

how hard on ourselves we truly are.

30:48

Next, they teach us that we don't

30:51

have control. I know that you love

30:53

control, we're all addicted to control, we

30:55

like to know, we like certainty, we

30:58

love love love control and being in

31:00

the known, we don't know, we go

31:02

to a psychic, we can tell us.

31:04

But control is an illusion, and it's

31:07

the master addiction. And yes, we have

31:09

influence, we have free will, but we

31:11

don't have complete control. And there's nothing

31:14

like an expectation hangover with one of

31:16

those curveballs to come along and remind

31:18

you of that fact. They push us

31:21

right out of our comfort zone. There's

31:23

no growth in our comfort zone. Your

31:25

comfort zone is only comfortable because it's

31:28

familiar, not because it's for your highest

31:30

good. You will never really live into

31:32

your full potential if you stay in

31:35

your comfort zone. And next, they teach

31:37

us to live inside out versus outside

31:39

in. We all are looking for that

31:42

thing that person whatever it is out

31:44

there to make us feel something better

31:46

inside But it ain't out there We

31:49

have to reorient from an outside in

31:51

life to an inside out and Finally

31:53

expectation hangovers teach us to move out

31:56

of a victim mentality So many of

31:58

us kind of live in a wife

32:00

is happening to me and we disempower

32:03

ourselves and think we're victims of life

32:05

rather than co-creators of our own reality.

32:07

So the amazing things that happen

32:09

as you start to really heal

32:12

and leverage your expectation hangovers is

32:14

that instead of putting so much

32:16

pressure and expectation on yourself you

32:18

learn self-love. Instead of gripping

32:21

so hard to life and attempting to

32:23

control you learn the beauty of surrender

32:25

and the power of surrender. Instead

32:28

of just being all comfy-cozy in

32:30

your comfort zone, you start to

32:32

take risks and live the life

32:34

of your dreams, maybe even beyond

32:36

your wildest dreams. Instead

32:38

of looking for fulfillment out

32:40

there, you start to feel

32:42

a deep connection and fulfillment

32:44

within. And instead of being a

32:47

victim of your life, you become

32:49

a seeker. You stop asking, why

32:51

is this happening? And you start

32:53

asking, what am I learning? And you

32:55

adopt a growth mindset to life.

32:57

And so as you listen to

32:59

this podcast and all the calls

33:01

and all the coaching sessions, I

33:03

encourage you to keep a growth

33:05

mindset, to continually be asking, what am

33:07

I learning? How can I stretch myself?

33:09

How can I perceive this situation

33:12

differently? Because the spiritual definition

33:14

of a miracle is a

33:16

change in perception. And I want

33:18

to tell you this podcast will be

33:20

a mix of both practical and

33:22

spiritual information. I'm very practical. I'm

33:25

a Virgo. I'm very organized. I

33:27

like structure and discipline in my

33:29

life. But I'm also a total

33:31

seeker. I love the woo-woo stuff.

33:33

Anything from chakras to crystals to

33:35

arc angels, I love it all.

33:37

I am not here to project

33:39

any of my belief systems onto

33:41

you. I'm just asking you to

33:44

have an open mind and an

33:46

open heart. I will use words

33:48

like God, spirit, universe, source, divine,

33:50

but insert whatever word works for

33:52

you in those circumstances. What we'll

33:54

also be doing on this podcast

33:56

is creating a safe space

33:58

for vulnerability. Now I've already recorded

34:01

about 20 life coaching sessions and

34:03

I am so inspired and deeply

34:05

moved by the vulnerability of the

34:07

callers. You are in for a

34:09

real treat. I mean people really

34:11

have opened up and these calls

34:13

are going to serve you. And

34:16

vulnerability is powerful. It is not

34:18

weak. When we show up vulnerable

34:20

it doesn't mean we have to

34:22

air all our dirty laundry and

34:24

just share all our weaknesses It's

34:26

just about being authentic. It's just

34:28

about being real and that's how

34:30

we really create Connection is being

34:32

real being authentic dropping the masks

34:34

Live your life as the fullest

34:37

most authentic expression of you and

34:39

you will have no regrets And

34:41

whatever you are working on to

34:43

get over and on with, I

34:45

am here to support you. I

34:47

don't want you to resort to

34:49

expectation hangover coping strategies that don't

34:51

work. Like over drinking, over eating,

34:53

over dating, over interneting, or suppressing

34:56

your feelings and pretending to be

34:58

strong, or doing a spiritual bypass,

35:00

or working too much, or working

35:02

out too much, or whatever else

35:04

your coping strategies will be. I'm

35:06

here to support you in truly

35:08

getting out of your own way

35:10

so you can be who you

35:12

are, have what you want, and

35:14

make the impact you're here to

35:17

make. So write to me, you

35:19

can go to Christine hasler.com/podcast, that's

35:21

where you can submit yourself for

35:23

a coaching session. The structure of

35:25

every show is I'll introduce the

35:27

show, I'll maybe tell a story,

35:29

talk about the topic, give you

35:31

some ideas to consider as you

35:33

listen to the coaching call, then

35:36

I'll play the live coaching call

35:38

of me going back and forth

35:40

with someone live, and then I'll

35:42

come back on after the show

35:44

and give you some takeaways and

35:46

assignments that you can implement into

35:48

your own life. There's also going

35:50

to be show notes because I

35:52

know that you'll want to take

35:54

notes on the content, but when

35:57

you're listening, I don't want you

35:59

to feel like... You have to

36:01

scribble a lot of things down.

36:03

So all the show notes will

36:05

also be on christinehassar.com/podcast. And I

36:07

love your support. So please subscribe

36:09

to the show by clicking subscribe

36:11

on iTunes. Write a review and

36:13

write the show. It really helps

36:16

the show get traction and momentum.

36:18

And please share it with anyone

36:20

that you think it will serve.

36:22

I am totally committed to serving you.

36:24

I'm just so giddy with excitement to

36:26

be here. I am a stand for

36:29

you. You can change, you can create

36:31

what you desire. I absolutely 100% believe

36:33

in you. But it does take doing

36:35

some of the work, and it doesn't

36:38

have to be hard work, but just

36:40

a deeper understanding of yourself and putting

36:42

actions into place to create behavior. And

36:45

that's what I'm here to offer you.

36:47

You can also find

36:49

me on social media.

36:52

It's Christine Hasler on

36:54

Instagram and Facebook, and

36:57

my name's a little

36:59

too long for Twitter.

37:02

So it's Christine Without

37:05

the E, C-H-R-I-S-T-I-N-H-A-S-S-L-E-R. That's

37:07

me on Twitter. And you

37:09

can read something to you

37:12

that I wrote a couple

37:14

years ago. And... I want to

37:16

share it because in so many ways

37:19

it describes my philosophy and the approach

37:21

that I'll be taking with people on

37:23

the show and hopefully it'll give you

37:25

a little more insight into you. It's

37:28

a story about you. When you were

37:30

born you are aware of these truths.

37:32

You are whole and complete. There

37:34

is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You

37:36

are worthy and deserving. You are

37:38

a spiritual being having a

37:40

human experience. You can trust the

37:43

universe. All there is and all that

37:45

matters is love. You are love. And then

37:47

you got older and things happened

37:49

and you started to forget

37:51

the truth. You started moving

37:54

out of the awareness of love and

37:56

into fear, doubt and judgment. Someone

37:58

told you that you did something wrong

38:01

and you started to believe that something

38:03

is wrong with you. Someone in your

38:05

life left or wasn't really there for

38:07

you and you began to question whether

38:09

or not you're lovable. You saw or

38:11

heard people yelling at each other and

38:13

you got scared. You got yelled at

38:15

something you said and you decided it

38:17

was better to stop speaking your truth.

38:19

You got hurt or saw someone get

38:21

hurt and you stopped trusting. Your heart

38:23

got broken so you thought it'd be

38:25

safer to build walls around it. You

38:27

began a doubt love. People said your

38:29

dreams were impossible and you believe them

38:31

and now you don't dream anymore. You

38:34

got left out, you felt isolated or

38:36

separate, now you feel like you're living

38:38

on the sidelines of life because you

38:40

mistakenly believe that that's where you belong.

38:42

The experience rejection, now you're afraid to

38:44

go after what you want. You began

38:46

to believe that you're alone and you

38:48

have to do it all on your

38:50

own. Perhaps you've even concluded that asking

38:52

for help is weak. Maybe you didn't

38:54

do as well as something you wanted

38:56

and judged yourself as a failure. Some

38:58

label or diagnosis got thrown on you

39:00

and you started to confuse it for

39:02

who you are. You looked at other

39:04

people and thought they were smarter, more

39:06

attractive and better in some way, and

39:09

now you work hard to make yourself

39:11

more like others. Not only did you

39:13

stop liking you, you stopped being magic

39:15

and miracles. Life felt unfair and you

39:17

questioned God. You began to look to

39:19

the outside world for validation and forgot

39:21

that your worth has nothing to do

39:23

with what you do, what you have,

39:25

or who you're with. As time has

39:27

gone on, you've gotten farther and farther

39:29

from the truth and you know it.

39:31

You feel an inner call to stop

39:33

believing the lies. There is a sense

39:35

of urgency emerging. It is time to

39:37

start remembering the truth. And here it

39:39

is. You didn't do anything wrong. You

39:41

are not broken. There is nothing you

39:44

need to do or be or be

39:46

in order to be in order to

39:48

be in order to be loved. You

39:50

are safe. It is safe to trust.

39:52

You are not alone. There is no

39:54

one any better or worse than you.

39:56

You are uniquely you and you are

39:58

absolutely perfect at being you. You belong,

40:00

you are worthy and deserving, you are not

40:02

what you have been labeled as. People

40:04

were mean to you because they didn't know

40:06

any better. People leaving or not being

40:08

there for you had nothing to do with you.

40:10

It is not weak to ask for help.

40:12

Support is available to you. You are

40:14

not alone and you have never been. It's

40:17

impossible for your heart to truly break.

40:19

It is unbreakable and full of

40:21

unconditional love and compassion. Everything in

40:23

your life that you've experienced is

40:25

for your learning and growth. Stop

40:27

asking, why did this happen? And

40:30

start asking, what can I learn

40:32

from what's happened? Trust that all

40:34

those times you didn't get what you wanted,

40:36

you got what you truly needed. I am

40:38

sorry that the people you wanted to hear

40:41

I'm sorry from did not say it

40:43

to you. You can forgive even what

40:45

you think is unforgivable. Forgiveness is

40:47

not about condoning what happened. It's

40:49

about your freedom. As soon as

40:51

you truly accept yourself, your feel

40:53

of rejection will vaporize. You have

40:56

never really failed. You've always done

40:58

the best you could. Seriously. The universe

41:00

is for you. Are you for you?

41:02

And you don't need to learn how to love

41:04

yourself. You already know love

41:06

is your essence. You've just

41:08

forgotten that truth. Activate your

41:10

memory by reducing the time

41:12

and energy you spend on

41:14

thoughts and actions that reinforce

41:16

your forgetfulness. Stop expecting anything

41:19

or anyone else to do

41:21

it for you. There is nothing you

41:23

have to find. Simply recognize

41:25

what is already there. Your purpose

41:27

in life is not to do

41:29

something grand or achieve some goal.

41:31

Your purpose in life is to return

41:34

to where you began. Love. A

41:36

loving reminder from my heart

41:38

to yours. I'm looking forward

41:40

to having you join me on

41:42

our first episode where I coach

41:44

a wonderful woman named Monica and

41:46

we dive deeper into the question

41:48

of who am I and what

41:51

am I here to do. Sending

41:53

you much love and many blessings

41:55

and looking forward to sharing this

41:57

journey with you. Thank you so,

41:59

so. much for your support and being

42:01

part of this community. And

42:03

thank you for being a being a light worker

42:05

supporting me in the mission of lifting

42:07

the consciousness of the planet. of the Can't

42:09

wait to get over it and on

42:11

with it with all of you. all of

42:14

you. you