0:00

This episode is brought to you by Shaker and Spoon.

0:02

Captain's Log, Stardate... I

0:05

don't know, there's like 140 stars within a

0:07

mile of me, so we're gonna skip that

0:09

bit. We received a package today from a

0:11

company called Shaker and Spoon, and Colin and

0:13

Jesse are already face-deep in the box. It

0:16

has three recipes for creating cocktails, plus

0:18

all the ingredients you need, minus the

0:20

alcohol. As someone who's been gargling swampooch

0:22

for the last how many forever's I've

0:24

been up here, wow! We

0:26

got the vodka brunch box. Each recipe

0:28

makes four servings, and we've already had

0:30

the blood and sage and the slow

0:32

rush. So easy to make, even Greg

0:34

the Zebra was tending bar, and the

0:36

results were magnificent. If you're foolish

0:39

enough to listen to this show, we've got an actual smart

0:41

thing for you to do. $20

0:44

off any linked subscription if you

0:46

go to shakerandspoon.com/Oz9. Get

0:48

a box delivered to your

0:51

airlock each month, and $20

0:53

off your subscription at shakerandspoon.com/Oz9.

0:57

Enjoy Space Monkeys. Captain out.

1:03

Stepping on board the Oz9 is nothing if not

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nine at checkout with

2:30

no sign that Olivia has started refilling

2:45

the ship with oxygen to and

2:47

I are literally breathing fumes we

2:49

don't want to break out the pony gag just yet so

2:52

we're only taking every other breath which totally

2:55

makes sense when you're hypoxic the crew

2:57

on the other hand have plenty of oxygen

2:59

but also plenty of ghosts and I honestly

3:01

don't know which I would prefer they find

3:04

themselves separated into small

3:07

isolated groups pippies with Donna Pluto

3:10

and Dr. Stio and Hoppe's sets

3:12

are together Greg and Julie are

3:14

together and Colin mrs. Sheffield

3:17

captain Madeline and

3:19

Joe are back by the campfires captain Jesse

3:22

on the other hand I

3:25

was nine nine Jesse

3:30

are you okay where are you

3:32

you're not gonna believe this one hang

3:34

on are you are you on the 67 48 well

3:39

that took the wind right out of my ghost

3:41

sails how did you figure it out yes

3:43

one of our visitors is wearing a 67

3:46

48 uniform are

3:49

you alright is the ship real

3:52

what exactly but it seems to be holding

3:54

together for now how is this

3:56

happening how did they get here wait Jesse what

3:58

do you feel if you put your hand right?

6:01

Spectacular. I

6:04

could fly around to this room, shouting a warning

6:06

to put helmets on. In the dark? Yeah,

6:09

be hilarious, but you'd kill yourself. Just hang on

6:11

a second. Some of the larger rooms on the

6:13

nine have an air-locked entrance to the rest of

6:15

the ship. We go into the vest if you

6:18

will seal off this room, then open the door

6:20

to the rest of the ship. Yes! Yes,

6:22

those airlocks usually have suits in them. We'll

6:25

just need some kind of light. We can take

6:27

torches from the fire. Not if there's no oxygen

6:29

out there, or too much.

6:32

My cane illuminates. I mean,

6:34

it's not the most trust where they light,

6:36

but it'll do in a

6:38

pinch, which this certainly is. We just have to

6:40

hope there's an airlock between us and the rest

6:42

of the ship. Right. We won't find it standing

6:45

here. I don't know what's going

6:47

on, but the OZ-9's pattern is... it's

6:49

slow. The skip is longer between

6:52

skips. What does that mean? I don't know.

6:54

They're affecting our engine somehow? That'd be my

6:57

guest. All right, put out that fire. Let's

6:59

move. Well,

7:03

how are you, dear? That

7:05

seems a bit informal. I

7:08

prefer to think of it as

7:10

friendly. It's not smiling. I'm

7:18

so sorry. I've never

7:20

talked with a ghost before. I'm

7:22

Ensign Chappie. Or

7:25

I was. I'm Pippestrel. This

7:28

is Donna. How to? Second-mate

7:30

Martinez, once upon a time.

7:34

To Donna? Maybe.

7:36

Oh, how

7:38

can we help you, Thallus? Our

7:41

bodies float forever, cocooned

7:43

in ice and sorrow. No

7:45

rest. No

7:47

peace. Thus the

7:49

echoes of our own screams

7:52

still traveling through space. I'm

7:55

sorry. You think your pity helps

7:58

us now? I don't know. What

8:01

would help you? Bodies. All bodies.

8:04

Parts that fall. Lungs that breathe.

8:07

Blood that flows. Oh, I don't

8:09

think we can do that. None

8:13

to spare, you see. Thousands to

8:15

spare. In pods

8:17

all over this ship. Pods go

8:19

dark every day. What

8:22

difference would a few more make?

8:24

I apologize, gentlemen, but those bodies

8:26

are still occupied. We

8:29

can make do with yours.

8:31

Whoo! Whoo!

8:37

Whoo! This

8:41

has got to be the worst kind of

8:43

GPS. I can't argue. So,

8:46

who's the navigator in your family? You or

8:48

Ben? Ben, he's a lousy navigator, but

8:50

he's a worse driver. He

8:52

does best when he's standing

8:54

still, huh? I guess that's

8:56

why he likes working with plants. What's he doing in

8:58

the Garf Nad you reckon? I

9:01

know what you're doing. Try and keep me calm. Not

9:03

very subtle, huh? Sorry.

9:06

No! Please continue. It

9:08

helps. A little. It's

9:10

early spring on Earth, so

9:12

he's busy. He didn't get

9:15

to do his seed starters under grow lamps

9:17

this year, so... Aah! Other way! Other way!

9:21

So, he's doing clean up, then testing and

9:23

feeding the soil. He loves that part. Digging

9:25

his hands in, getting the dirt to tell

9:27

him what it needs. Say,

9:29

that's real nice. Yeah. He's terrible at

9:32

it. I have to go out and redo

9:34

everything in the middle of the night. But

9:36

it's worth it to hear him brag to the neighbors about

9:38

the size of his eggplant. You

9:44

miss him? Yeah. And Maggie.

9:46

But I'm glad he's not here right now. There's

9:48

enough screaming going on. Stop!

9:50

What the hell are you? Lieutenant Patel.

9:54

Lieutenant. Of the OZ-6748. I thought there were only 400

9:56

OZ ships. How is there

9:58

a 6740? Maybe

10:00

we can table that for later. Right, sorry. What can we do for

10:02

you, Lieutenant? My

10:05

ship is destroyed. Its fragments cast into

10:07

space by an explosion that tore our

10:09

home and our bodies into a million

10:11

pieces. It feels sorry to hear that,

10:13

Lieutenant. Since our deaths, the

10:15

crew and I have been pulling the ship

10:17

back together. The pieces held together by sheer

10:19

will. Why? What do you think you'll gain by doing

10:21

this? Revenge. It's

10:24

all that's left for us, and we will

10:26

have it. Revenge

10:28

on Beta-Galaxy? In time.

10:32

But first, the captain who betrayed us,

10:34

abandoned us, left us to die, and

10:36

the ship she left us for. Dang,

10:38

I'd hate to be on that ship.

10:41

Uhhhhh... I'm

10:44

on that ship, aren't I? Yeah. Crap.

10:48

We have followed your ship closely, or as closely

10:50

as one can follow a drunken space manatee. We

10:53

plan to take over the nine, but this

10:55

crew was apparently chosen using Edie, Meedy, Mighty,

10:57

Mo at the annual Village Idiot Convention and

10:59

Smorgasbord. Barely one among them can

11:01

manage a fork, much less a spaceship. The

11:04

two of you were chosen to be spared, if you agree

11:06

to help us. You led us

11:08

here to offer us a deal? I... I'd

11:11

be the only living person on the ship.

11:13

Only until we choose the bodies we wish

11:15

to occupy from the passengers. Or

11:18

the crew... is that a problem?

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12:40

What is happening? We're

12:49

being herded. But why? There's

12:51

nothing here. It is an airlock. There's

12:54

only a hatch to the outside.

12:56

Precisely. We don't

12:59

understand. You are worth nothing

13:01

to us. Your bodies

13:03

are old. You beg your

13:05

pardon. And weak. You

13:07

really have no idea who I am,

13:09

have you? Silence.

13:12

The halls are full of

13:14

younger bodies. Leave

13:17

no need of you. So

13:19

this is what you have come for? Bodies to

13:21

replace the ones you have lost? Yes.

13:24

To live again. To

13:27

complete our mission. Still

13:30

want to find a new planet to

13:32

terraform? No, boo. That

13:35

was never our mission. I...

13:40

I don't understand. Be plain man. Why

13:42

are you here and not at peace

13:44

in the kingdom of Hades? Our

13:47

orders were to kill

13:49

Captain Jetz. Haha. You

13:52

are joking. An entire

13:54

ship of dead people finds all

13:56

the itsy bitsy particles of their

13:58

disintegrated bodies in the fast-forward. Stocktons

14:00

of space, then, puzzley plops a

14:02

million pieces of their ship back together, just

14:05

to kill one woman. What's this does? This

14:07

is crazy nonsense talking! I didn't get a

14:09

word of that. It is asking why you

14:11

undertook this massive effort to come back from

14:14

the dead just to kill Captain Jesse. Why

14:16

on earth is that so important to you?

14:18

I just said all that. Give me now,

14:20

denizens of death. Return to

14:23

your rest. We cannot. We

14:25

will not until our mission is complete.

14:28

It is time to open

14:31

the airlock. Are

14:36

you talking to us? Obviously. You

14:38

are unable to open the airlock.

14:41

For the moment, being

14:43

incorporeal has its drawbacks.

14:47

So, if we don't

14:49

open it, you can't open it, and

14:52

we don't die. Uppercrief,

14:54

when we find bodies to inhabit, your

14:58

time will end. Tough. Then,

15:00

I think I'm going to wait until

15:03

then. Thanks, yeah, I think I'll just

15:05

stay on this side of the hatch,

15:07

if it's all the same to you.

15:09

Read, space is damned with chili, and

15:11

this onesie is very thin. You only

15:14

delay the inevitable, and

15:16

give me time to make

15:18

your lives hell! Huh,

15:29

interesting. Not enough

15:31

corporate reality to flip a switch, but

15:33

enough to slam into a door. Ah,

15:36

save your theories for another time, Dr. Theo. I

15:39

have in my pocket a very nice flask I

15:41

got from a very sweet Royline I met many

15:43

years ago. Perhaps you would

15:46

like to join me in a different- Is that

15:48

some of Dr. Theo's novel I see in the

15:50

corner? It is! Excellent.

15:52

It makes fine kindling. Ignite

15:55

us. Oh! The

16:00

baby's gone. Mmm. Uh,

16:06

uh. Are you sure this will work

16:08

with the power down? Emergency systems

16:11

normally revert to backup power.

16:13

Normally. This is the All's Nine.

16:16

Ah, well, have we not achieved a choice? Well,

16:18

the seal between this vestibule and the room we

16:20

were in is holding. Hopefully that means the backup

16:23

systems are working. And if they aren't? You

16:25

should have just enough time to flip me the bird

16:27

before you get sucked into the nine and die. I

16:31

look forward to it. Everybody ready?

16:33

Helmets on and fastened? Did everybody

16:35

pee first? Good God, man, just open

16:37

the damn door. Captain. You heard the

16:39

lady. Oh, hello. Oh.

16:43

Where am I? Oh,

16:46

man. That oxygen tastes so

16:48

good. It's air, not snowflakes. Stop

16:50

trying to catch it on your tongue. I'm

16:53

just so damn happy to be

16:55

alive. Oh, we're not out of the woods yet. Olivia

16:58

got the fires out and the ship is

17:00

being reoxygenated and repressurized, but Jessie is still

17:02

a captive on the Ghost Ship, and

17:04

half her undead crew is aboard the nine,

17:07

hungry for revenge and bodies to wear. Buzzkill.

17:09

Meanwhile. Oh,

17:14

it appears we have a visitor. Uh,

17:16

excuse me. Are you dead or

17:18

alive? I

17:21

beg your pardon? It's been a weird day. I

17:24

was giving a lecture on optimizing your compost's pH

17:26

balance with eggshells and coffee grounds

17:28

just ten minutes ago, and now

17:31

I appear to be in space. I was

17:33

kept captive in a fish tank by an

17:35

alien race of giant mantis shrimp and chased

17:37

by a dead astronaut before returning to my

17:39

ship using an upside-down plastic submarine

17:41

for a helmet. Oh, okay. Okay.

17:46

You're either dangerously deluded or that really happened. Okay

17:49

seemed like the safest answer either way. Fair point.

17:52

Okay, who are you? What are you

17:54

doing here? Vikram Baliga, professor of horticulture.

17:57

I have no idea what I'm doing here. More. how

18:00

I got here. I'm sorry

18:02

can I help you? Just uh moving your hair. Ah

18:05

ha as I thought. Puncturoon on the neck.

18:07

Mm-hmm called it. Ah hell. Drug.

18:10

Vampire. Oh yeah yours makes more sense. What?

18:12

Did you possibly upset someone

18:15

at gated galaxies? Well I did make

18:17

fun of a couple of their TikToks.

18:19

They were trying to claim that the

18:21

toxic sludge they were pumping into Lake

18:23

Erie was a good growth medium for

18:25

aloe vera. I mean. Ooh.

18:28

Perp. Bad idea. What are you saying?

18:30

You were kidnapped, drugged and

18:32

podded. Podded? My god. How

18:35

long have I been here? Uh let's just

18:37

say you've used up any backlog PTO. Well

18:39

on the plus side I won't have to

18:42

answer that stupid question about bananas again. Okay

18:44

we've established he was in a pot. What's

18:46

he doing out of it? Wait I

18:49

remember something. A child's voice. A

18:51

girl? Dickensian

18:54

urchin sounding. Yes

18:56

that's right. You know her?

18:59

Olivia the ship's AI. That's good. She must

19:01

have awakened him for a reason. What did

19:03

she say to you? It's a little hazy.

19:05

Something like damn it. Missed.

19:07

Oh oh my

19:10

well uh never mind um captain perhaps

19:12

we should get to the bridge. See

19:14

if we can get captain Jesse on

19:16

the comms. Why is it so dark? I

19:18

think I saw some night vision goggles back there.

19:20

Not a pair on this ship. We've

19:23

looked. Are you sure? I could

19:25

have sworn. You

19:28

said you were a horticulturist. Plants and

19:30

whatnot. Yes plants and whatnot.

19:34

We could have used you last season.

19:36

I'm sorry last season? Can

19:39

we talk about hort culture later? I

19:41

think whoever the horts are they can

19:43

wait. Let's go. I seem

19:46

to be asking a great deal of questions but

19:49

horts? Just go

19:51

with it. Damn

19:53

it either be solid or don't.

19:55

Make up your damn mind. Jesse!

19:57

Jesse! Do you read? Yes! MadPants,

20:00

can you hear me? Loud and clear,

20:02

and that's Captain MadPants, do you? Thank

20:06

you, Jeebus, you're alive. You...

20:09

you are alive, aren't you? For

20:11

the moment, but this ship and

20:13

its, uh, occupants are a

20:15

bit flimsy. The controls are nearly solid

20:17

one second, and nothing but smoke and

20:20

shadow the next. I don't

20:22

know where the oxygen is coming from,

20:24

or what keeps the floor under my

20:26

feet, but I don't trust any of

20:28

it. Jessie, Olivia has unthought some help.

20:30

I don't think unthought is quite right,

20:33

or help. That's brilliant, who is it?

20:35

Dr. Vikram Baliga, Professor of Horticulture. You're

20:39

joking. Yes, yes, yes, he would have

20:41

been much more helpful last season, wouldn't

20:43

he? But he's awake, and,

20:45

uh, so we assume Olivia had a

20:48

reason. Can't you just ask her? She's

20:50

not answering. What about your AI? Dick,

20:53

silent so far thanks to all its holy. Jessie,

20:55

I'm coming over to you. I'll bring you a

20:57

suit and haul you back to the nine. No.

21:01

No. Don't do that. What? Look,

21:04

Mad Pants. I appreciate

21:06

the off-letter, but things are a bit

21:08

mental, I say. The

21:10

nine can't go from two captains to

21:12

none. Then I'll go. Captain Jessie won't

21:14

make it back without a suit. Oh,

21:17

hello. Who are you? Oh,

21:19

for a bit wobbly here. We got

21:21

a visitor. Get

21:23

off my bridge. This

21:26

is my bridge now. Chapman,

21:30

is that you? You bastard. You

21:32

don't want the incident. Ah, is that one

21:34

of your crew, then? No, uh,

21:37

our crew are not generally transparent,

21:39

Professor. Fair, but in my defense,

21:41

it's been a weird day. I

21:44

have laser eyes and have only

21:46

recently become visible. Okay. Thank

21:48

you. He's a bit... competitive.

21:51

Clearly. Does he

21:53

ever put that martini down? Not

21:55

so far. No. Not

21:58

interrupt, but if this floor suddenly

22:00

becomes... completely solid again. I'm

22:02

likely to lose part of both legs. Captain,

22:06

any chance you have plant life aboard this ship? Uh,

22:09

we have a bio swamp. Oh, well

22:11

I'm fond of plants. Perhaps someone could

22:14

give me a tour before it's all over?

22:16

You're not serious. It would get him out

22:18

from underfoot. Hmm, fine. Colin,

22:20

fly him to the swamp. It's

22:23

dear Claire of Albert. Who's Alba? Oh!

22:26

Oh! Oh! Oh!

22:29

They want us! Oh, goodness, you all

22:31

right? They're here to

22:34

steal our bodies. Huh. And

22:36

the ship. They won't be

22:39

your bodies for long. They

22:41

belong to us. Good

22:43

boy. More ghosts. Hey,

22:47

are these fellows looking a little

22:49

bit hazy to anyone but me?

22:51

Yeah, right. When it was just

22:53

him, I could read Chapman's name

22:55

tag, but not these two. Captain

22:57

Jesse, jump. What's happening? Just jump.

22:59

What? Holy hell, good call, Joe.

23:01

Pour a solid again, and my

23:03

feet are still attached. How

23:06

did you know? Just a guess,

23:08

Captain Jesse. It's

23:10

either her ship or our ghosts. They

23:13

can't maintain both. So

23:15

the more solid they are here?

23:18

The times here, the 6748 is. But

23:20

I think the more ghosts there are in one

23:22

space, the weaker they are. They use the power

23:24

they have, but they have to spread it out

23:26

over more of them. Shh. Rough

23:30

landing, pal. Sorry. Everybody,

23:33

hold still. What are you

23:35

doing? Why do you have a gun? This

23:37

bridge is getting crowded. Indeed. You

23:40

took a rather short tour. Yes.

23:43

Well, the what were they called?

23:46

The Allergrets were in a bit of a frenzy. Made

23:49

flying tough, apparently. But very merchandisable.

23:51

Well, perhaps you'll have another chance

23:53

that's looking less likely all the

23:56

time. Julie, what's happening? Why the

23:58

weapon range? I'm sorry. I'm really,

24:00

really sorry. They offered us a

24:02

deal. Well, usually

24:04

mostly since they can't actually

24:07

kill me. Thanks

24:09

for throwing me under the bus, Greg. I'm

24:11

just saying. Who's the new guy? Vikram

24:13

Bal... Dr. Vikram Balaga? Fully get professor of horticulture. Professor of

24:15

horticulture and the author of Plants to the Rescue? Well, yes.

24:18

Do you know my book? Are

24:21

you kidding? My husband and our kiddo have nearly

24:23

worn the ink off the pages. Oh,

24:26

well, that's awfully nice. We could have used you last season.

24:28

So I've heard. Huh. Are we

24:30

done? Oh, sorry.

24:33

What's happening? We're

24:35

being threatened by Julie De... Back to you,

24:37

Natick. Oh, no. Captain,

24:39

I've been pinging the ship. There

24:42

are a lot more ghosts on the nine now. Like,

24:44

a lot more. A lot more.

24:47

Hey, don't I know you? Science

24:50

Officer Moore from G2. Hang

24:53

on. Are you Greg?

24:56

You're one of my scientists. Dude,

24:59

you are such a good sport.

25:01

I can't believe you ate poison

25:03

ivy. Yeah. We need to talk. Captain

25:06

Madeleine, get on the comms and tell

25:08

everyone to come to the bridge. The

25:11

ghosts are ready to... uh... make

25:14

their selections. Everyone? Everyone. Ghosts and

25:16

all. The more the merrier. Any chance I

25:18

could set this one out? I'm not really

25:21

supposed to be here. The lions. Right.

25:24

Sorry. I'll just have a seat on the floor

25:26

then. Hmm. That's odd. Everyone!

25:30

Ghosts, human or otherwise, report to

25:33

the bridge. Except Emily

25:35

and what's your name? You

25:37

can stay where you are. There's enough butt

25:39

heads up here already. Ahem. Um...

25:42

Howard? Sheesh! Rude.

25:46

Now what? We wait. Oh,

25:49

one cap, ten, cap and... We

25:52

are here as ordered. You are

25:54

here as ordered. I... I...

25:56

I chose to join you.

26:00

You are so very fuzzy! I am

26:03

not fuzzy. Not

26:06

fuzzy! Fuzzy! Do

26:08

you hear a difference? I don't hear it. I

26:10

think he said you're crusty. This guy. Hey!

26:14

There's a new guy. Vikram Baliga, professor

26:17

of horticulture. And

26:19

yes, I'm aware I would have been more helpful last season. Vikram?

26:22

Is that you? Hello!

26:25

Dr. Theo. Theo Bromay?

26:28

Good to see you. Hey, what happened

26:30

to you? You apparently

26:32

give an electron compost

26:34

at M-C-C-E-C-C-E-C and then

26:36

whoosh! Yes. So I'm

26:39

hearing. Look, Theo,

26:41

I haven't started reading your novel

26:43

yet. I've been really busy. Jazz

26:45

hands! Whoosh! Fun

26:47

is whoosh! You know,

26:50

whoosh! Whoosh!

26:57

Whoosh! I'm gonna pee! Whoosh!

27:03

I wish... I

27:05

wish to wish you'd start. I

27:08

wish you'd start. Nerds! Pay

27:11

attention. Pardon me? My lady, you

27:13

are here and safe. Here,

27:18

yes. I was safer riding shotgun

27:20

in the Is Lake when a bagash is

27:22

still frozen cross-lake snowmobile relay in late April.

27:26

Are you drunk? Oh, Miss

27:29

Julia, are you holding I

27:31

in a pistol? Possibly two. I

27:33

can't tell. My eyes are very, very bibbly-bobbly.

27:37

Or, as you say in English, bibbly-bobbly. Coast

27:40

made a reveal. Do you mind? Just

27:43

reading facts. Well, we're all

27:45

here. What happens now? Now,

27:48

I will freeze Julie where she

27:50

stands. No! No!

27:55

You go on then, sweetie. Ah,

27:59

dammit. My powers aren't

28:01

working. Sometimes this happens

28:03

when I drink, but come on,

28:05

I'm surrounded by the actual dead.

28:07

I mean, what the actual fuck?

28:10

Your realm is on Earth, you

28:12

two. You're a long

28:15

way from the source of your

28:17

power. Dewey, why are you

28:19

doing this? I'm sorry, but

28:22

Maggie. She has a young child back on

28:24

Earth. Sorry, I'm missing the party. My

28:27

ship's getting pretty thin, and I don't think it's

28:29

going to hold together much longer. But, watch out

28:31

for you. I can't. Sorry,

28:34

I'm working too, fellas. I

28:36

didn't ask. Why can you

28:38

just get me out of here? We've

28:41

got the brother, and he's all over. He's

28:43

just a man. I know where he's going.

28:46

That mic was getting real dark. OK, now

28:48

over there. Shush, there's so many

28:50

people in here. Look, but can I

28:52

just send out a verbal warning that

28:54

if one more ghost tries

28:56

to go right through me like some

28:58

hell-fueled vindaloo from the Rajan clap of

29:00

my hands? I'm going to kill

29:03

them. Hey, Jesse, all your

29:05

ghosts are over here now. So how

29:07

about you come and join them? Can

29:09

you find a suit? Found one, but

29:11

they get thinner and thicker. Same as

29:14

the ship. Thought I reckon it'll

29:16

do me much good. Hang on, Jesse. I'm coming to

29:18

get you. I'll be here. I

29:20

hope. Captain, there's something

29:22

very odd about this ship. Did I

29:25

mention the laser eyes? What

29:27

is it, Professor? It has a

29:29

pulse. Yeah, 13 beats of hum,

29:31

then a skip. Not a skip. A

29:34

heartbeat. The slow beat of a giant

29:36

heart. Are you saying

29:38

that the Oz-9 is actually alive? Yes,

29:42

it is. That's why

29:44

it's been so slow. She's grieving,

29:47

having the ghost of the 6748 right next to her. That

29:50

giant heart is breaking.

29:54

My god. Your

29:56

ship is alive. Oh,

29:59

it's his dad. We're

30:01

taking over the nine. Good

30:04

morning, sir. The ship is falling

30:06

apart. Jesse? Jesse!

30:09

It's okay, my pal. The captain is

30:11

finally going down with the ship. Don't

30:15

you dare! Don't you goddamn dare!

30:21

Oh no! Look out

30:23

the window! The

30:32

6748! It

30:34

vanished! God! Can you see Jesse? Is

30:36

she there? No. I'm

30:40

sorry, Captain. Captain? I feel it.

30:43

What? What's happening? A bump?

30:46

Now the pace is speeding up. Well, what does that

30:48

mean? I guess. The

30:50

ship is pissed. That's... good?

30:54

Boy, there are even more ghosts now. They

30:56

came over from the 6748. Right. Sip-sip. Everyone's here? Correct!

31:01

Open the pots! The

31:03

ship is ours! They're

31:06

getting denser. They don't have to hold the

31:08

6748 together anymore. Exactly.

31:11

And that makes them vulnerable. Now! Eat

31:15

this! Just open it up!

31:18

Right behind me. Yes,

31:20

that's right. Oh! Grace

31:23

just... oh! No! Oh,

31:25

Greg, what the hell? Close your stomach,

31:27

dude. You're getting your lunch all over

31:30

the bridge. It's all right, Captain. It's

31:32

Monotrope by Uniflal. Is that supposed to

31:34

make me feel better? It's a parasite!

31:36

It's called the ghost flower. Commonly called

31:38

the Indian plant. It's also known as

31:40

the death plant or the corpse plant.

31:42

It's actually a flowering plant by the

31:44

Aricaceae. Okay, shut up now! Ready to

31:46

go. What's it doing to the ghosts?

31:48

It's feeding on them! At

31:51

least we hope so. You planned this? We

31:53

were trying to hide in the past while

31:55

I was calling Dr. Beliga family. And Vikram

31:57

suggested maybe this would work so well. We

32:00

stuffed as many plants as we could find

32:02

in my insides! Haha! A

32:04

trojan zebra! Ugh, marvelous!

32:07

Well, the out was dramatic. They

32:10

were literally growing right in front of us. As

32:12

if they knew we needed them. In

32:14

Hades it grows in my footsteps. Hades?

32:18

Hang on, who are you? Long

32:20

story. Eons. Captain,

32:23

are you alright? Jesse.

32:26

She's... Right here. Calm

32:29

your bum, Ruffle. Captain Jesse! Jesse! Oh

32:31

my god! What's that? Stop it.

32:34

How the hell? Let's

32:36

just say it's

32:38

a good thing you gave us our

32:40

own arms back. You?

32:43

You went to the 6748 to save Captain

32:45

Jesse? That's... unexpected.

32:50

Captain Jesse towed us back from the

32:52

Kesticalion ship, even when she was in

32:54

danger. True. I believe I was the

32:56

one in danger. We... we meant to

32:58

get over there with this fair suit,

33:01

just in the nick of time, I

33:03

might add. Wait, you

33:05

have no propulsion. How

33:07

did you get over there? I'm going to guess

33:09

they found my experimental jetpack. Patent

33:12

pending. Ages ago ago, we

33:14

used it to buzz Albert.

33:17

Ha ha. Ha. Ha.

33:19

The good news is, it works.

33:21

And uh... the bad?

33:24

The bad news is, it worked.

33:26

Past tense. Ah! Fair.

33:30

It wasn't designed for space. Next time.

33:33

Well, good news all around then. Yeah!

33:36

Phew! You all didn't really think I'd betray you,

33:38

did you? Oh no. No,

33:41

no, no. Of course it is. It's totally totally bad.

33:43

We never picked that out of you. No. Probably

33:46

not. No. You're good. All

33:49

good. Thank all the gods that bastard. Aye,

33:54

aye, dick didn't show up. I

33:56

ride a tour on that ship. I parrot myself from the

33:58

inside. Do

34:01

we suppose it's really over? I mean,

34:04

they won't try again? They're plant food now.

34:06

Uh, speaking of, this bridge is a

34:08

mess. What do we do with all these plants? Ooh,

34:10

can we eat them? I could make a nice hot

34:12

dish. Yes, not. I'll

34:15

fly them to the bio swamp later. So...what

34:23

do we do with the

34:25

new guy? Beg your pardon? Stick him in

34:27

an awayship and send him home. Can we

34:29

afford the fuel? No, but what else can

34:32

we do? Hope that ghost flowers make good

34:34

gas? Hey, that's an idea. Olivia, can we

34:36

make fuel out of plants? Olivia?

34:43

Olivia? Uh,

34:47

I can still go home, right? Uh-oh.

34:53

Well, there's our cliffhanger to take us out

34:56

of season five. It's hiatus time, folks, and

34:58

while the crew play Where's Olivia, Narrator

35:01

here and I are going to be

35:03

enjoying some downtime. We'll be back with

35:05

season six eventually. Probably this year, who

35:07

knows? Count your blessings, eat some brain

35:09

food as a defensive maneuver, and

35:11

we'll be back before you know it. You've been listening

35:13

to... Lee

35:33

Shackleford as Pluto, and with our

35:35

very special guest, Dr. Vikram Baliga

35:38

of the genuinely brilliant podcast Plantherpology

35:40

as himself. And the fabulous podcast

35:42

Mission Rejected lent us... I'm

35:45

Kyle Jones as Narrator 2. And I'm Kris

35:47

Nidalny-Gorely as your narrator. John Faley is our

35:49

music director and our awesome artwork. is

36:00

by Lucas Elliot. Oz9ne is

36:02

written by Shannon Perry. Sarah

36:04

Golding is our dialogue editor.

36:06

And Mark Restucia. Ita, thand,

36:08

ita, nah. Oz9ne is a

36:10

proud member of the Fable and Folly

36:13

network. Please check out our sibling shows

36:15

at fableandfolly.com and support our sponsors. Dude,

36:18

that was our 100th regular

36:20

episode. Shh. The FCC

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said we had to stop at 99 or get fined. Something

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about too much stupid over public

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airwaves. Oh boy. This show is

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going to cost a fortune. Yeah,

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so, you know, maybe join our

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Patreon. Lights.

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and Folly Network, where fiction

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Kilner accepted the job of smuggling escaped

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she expected the job to be over

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and done with quickly. But now they're

37:35

stuck with each other and they have

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a job to do. Think

37:40

of Tom Nicon as a sort of student loan company.

37:42

You take a loan from them and then they own

37:44

you until you've paid it off with interest. So all

37:46

I have to do is pay off my debt. Fine,

37:48

I can do that. How much do I owe? 900,027

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credits and counting. You're

37:56

stuck here with me to work it off.

37:58

We fix space junk. is a

38:01

sci-fi sitcom from Battlebird Productions,

38:03

featuring traveling by cryo. Don't

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worry if you feel like you're drowning. That's

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perfectly normal. Wait, what? Aliens

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from across the galaxy. Greetings,

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visitors. Stop popcorn! Hello,

38:15

Your Excellency. A.I.S.

38:17

Dad, how do I do air?

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You're already doing it automatically. Calm

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down. And, of course,

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thrilling and exciting missions in

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outer space. Hello,

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